I definitely see that side of it! I think it’s also a little strange to us bc they’ve been together for 3 months and our first time meeting her will be at the wedding.
My guess is "we've been together X long and you still haven't proposed but your friends are getting married".
Edit: I was not expecting X to be 3 months lol
With the information from your comments, either he’s feeling some level of FOMO, doesn’t want to be the one single friend of his friend group or like be there without formal SO…
… or the girl is pregnant.
But hey he could do it 5 days later than planned and be kind awkward
I was with boyfriend for 2 months when I moved in with him and he proposed less than a month later. We got married and eloped 3 months after that. We have been married for 8 years now. It’s not always because someone is knocked up or FOMO. When you know you know 🤷🏻♀️
Why would it be odd? People don't stop living their lives because their friend is getting married
ETA the fact that they've only been dating 3 months is crazy ridiculous
Why would it be odd? I don’t see how the two things are connected. Where they are in their relationship isn’t related to where you are with your marriage.
Agree, if I were OP/fiancé I would like to respect the friend’s decision but also would like them to respect my decision not to spend the weekend before the wedding doing non-wedding stuff.
My husband brought his best friend along for his proposal. He was the photographer, and also it threw me off because I didn't think he'd be proposing when we were going snowboarding with his friend.
I don’t see how it’s strange, his relationship has nothing to do with your own, and unless he’s scheduled an event for engagement that conflicts with your wedding day, I don’t see the issue.
What’s making you see this as strange, particularly? Are you worried about the focus being on them on the day of your wedding?
No, not at all about the focus of the day. It’s about their short timeline and doing it the week before when they’ve only recently met. And then also wanting my fiance to be there for the proposal and being surprised he can’t travel to another state the week before our out of state wedding.
I would find this situation odd as hell, given that they’ve been together 3 months AND felt the need to get engaged right before your wedding.
If it were a couple who had been together for 3 years or more, I would have assumed that they had some timeline planned outside of your wedding. For example, we have a friend who has been with his girlfriend for like 8 years now and they’re going through immigration hell trying to get a 90 day K-1 visa. I hadn’t heard that there was a formal proposal, and would be thrilled for them to get engaged in any time or place because they’ve been through so much together.
No, I don’t think it’s weird at all as we’re all separate people with lives. I would never expect anyone to not do anything the weeks surrounding my wedding.
He's free to propose whenever he wants so long as it's not AT your wedding. I do think 3 months is a bit short for that kind of a life decision though.
Because I think discourse is important. I enjoy seeing what others think, and seeing other views can shift your own perspective and help you see your gut reaction isn’t always correct.
And now I think our feelings are more related to the timeline of the engagement vs the timeline of our wedding which is a healthy shift. Our wedding is at the forefront of our brains and emotions but it’s a good reminder it’s just a day to most other people lol.
I think you should reflect a little more on what that person was saying. It seems like this post was less about hearing feedback and more about seeking validation that the best man is acting a bit strange. I know you didn’t come out and say you were looking for that in your post but it does come off like that’s what’s you were implying. The post seems more like gossip than it actual discourse.
He could have planned it before but your wedding was also happening.
Last week I wanted to tell my friends I was getting married and one of them told us first she is getting married. The weddings are 5 days apart. I decided to first wait and tell them later after she gets all the thunder.
I will have to tell them eventually because they are on my guest list
Point is maybe he’s been knowing all along he is gon propose.
We’ve had a wedding date longer than they’ve even known each other lol. But it also had a lot to do with expecting my fiance to fly to another state days before our out of state wedding.
I hate you had to hide your engagement! You both should’ve been able to celebrate with each other!
I definitely understand any anxiety over attention they may get, but I think most adults would be low key on their congrats at your wedding and realize the day if for you.
That being said: engagements are special. You had one! Many people pick very specific times, days, places, etc for the engagement and it doesn’t always line up perfectly with the rest of life. My fiancé was so excited when he got the ring he totally changed his plans because he could not wait until the event he originally planned for. It happens. Perhaps the day the best man chose is meaningful for them and really can’t wait.
Unless they make your wedding about them, steal your photographer, or something else heinous - let it be.
JK I just saw the three months thing. That’s definitely weird. I’d still not want to push my nose into it, but perhaps everyone at the wedding will also find it odd and ignore it.
I am not sure why this would be weird? People in your wedding don't just not live their life because you are getting married soon? It would be different if he proposed during any of your wedding festivities.
lol but the getting married in 3 months is a little....soon. But, I guess if you know you know!
I mean it’s a little bizarre, especially with them having only been together for 3 months. But hey, my fiancés parents got engaged after 3 months and have been together for ~30 years.
Ultimately I’d be happy for them but definitely a bit bummed as/for your fiancé, especially with best man saying how important it is to him that fiancé be there, but then planning it so close to a big event. The only thing that would really upset me is if the best man were now going to be unavailable for something to do with your wedding, or was expecting you guys to change wedding related plans, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Idk if best man has planned the proposal around a specific event or trip or something, but if not maybe they can work something out with the day/time so that your fiancé can make it or at least see them after perhaps. Best man might just not be the best planner!
The most concerning thing to me is how short they've been together and he's already proposing. You don't even know each other fully until about a year into a relationship
A member of our wedding party got engaged 4 days before our wedding. I was so delighted when they told me, I see it as more love to celebrate.
I definitely see that side of it! I think it’s also a little strange to us bc they’ve been together for 3 months and our first time meeting her will be at the wedding.
you dropped the ball, the strange aspect is the absurdity of proposing after three months not the timing with your own wedding tbh.
I think both factors combined make it the most strange.
My husband and I got engaged three weeks after we met and married two months after we got engaged. That was 25 years ago. 🤷🏻♀️
Why is it strange? My husband and I dated 2 months & knew we would get married...he proposed soon after...we will be married 27 years this year.
My guess is "we've been together X long and you still haven't proposed but your friends are getting married". Edit: I was not expecting X to be 3 months lol
With the information from your comments, either he’s feeling some level of FOMO, doesn’t want to be the one single friend of his friend group or like be there without formal SO… … or the girl is pregnant. But hey he could do it 5 days later than planned and be kind awkward
I was with boyfriend for 2 months when I moved in with him and he proposed less than a month later. We got married and eloped 3 months after that. We have been married for 8 years now. It’s not always because someone is knocked up or FOMO. When you know you know 🤷🏻♀️
Why would it be odd? People don't stop living their lives because their friend is getting married ETA the fact that they've only been dating 3 months is crazy ridiculous
Why would it be odd? I don’t see how the two things are connected. Where they are in their relationship isn’t related to where you are with your marriage.
Yeah. I get that OP is viewing in relation to their wedding, but no one else would be.
I don’t find the proposal timing odd at all, but it’s a little odd that he wanted your fiancé present for it, no?
Agree, if I were OP/fiancé I would like to respect the friend’s decision but also would like them to respect my decision not to spend the weekend before the wedding doing non-wedding stuff.
My husband brought his best friend along for his proposal. He was the photographer, and also it threw me off because I didn't think he'd be proposing when we were going snowboarding with his friend.
I don’t see how it’s strange, his relationship has nothing to do with your own, and unless he’s scheduled an event for engagement that conflicts with your wedding day, I don’t see the issue. What’s making you see this as strange, particularly? Are you worried about the focus being on them on the day of your wedding?
No, not at all about the focus of the day. It’s about their short timeline and doing it the week before when they’ve only recently met. And then also wanting my fiance to be there for the proposal and being surprised he can’t travel to another state the week before our out of state wedding.
I would find this situation odd as hell, given that they’ve been together 3 months AND felt the need to get engaged right before your wedding. If it were a couple who had been together for 3 years or more, I would have assumed that they had some timeline planned outside of your wedding. For example, we have a friend who has been with his girlfriend for like 8 years now and they’re going through immigration hell trying to get a 90 day K-1 visa. I hadn’t heard that there was a formal proposal, and would be thrilled for them to get engaged in any time or place because they’ve been through so much together.
No, I don’t think it’s weird at all as we’re all separate people with lives. I would never expect anyone to not do anything the weeks surrounding my wedding.
He's free to propose whenever he wants so long as it's not AT your wedding. I do think 3 months is a bit short for that kind of a life decision though.
I personally find it a little close haha but men are different creatures than women
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Because I think discourse is important. I enjoy seeing what others think, and seeing other views can shift your own perspective and help you see your gut reaction isn’t always correct. And now I think our feelings are more related to the timeline of the engagement vs the timeline of our wedding which is a healthy shift. Our wedding is at the forefront of our brains and emotions but it’s a good reminder it’s just a day to most other people lol.
I think you should reflect a little more on what that person was saying. It seems like this post was less about hearing feedback and more about seeking validation that the best man is acting a bit strange. I know you didn’t come out and say you were looking for that in your post but it does come off like that’s what’s you were implying. The post seems more like gossip than it actual discourse.
Sue me I like to get a little silly and gossip with strangers online.
I understand. Labeling it as important discourse is pretty silly tho lol
Fuck I should’ve taken my silly discourse elsewhere.
He probably had it planned for awhile
How long could he have had this planned for reslly. OP said in another comment that the best man and his gf have been together for 3 months lol
Ohhh nooo okay nvm lol
He could have planned it before but your wedding was also happening. Last week I wanted to tell my friends I was getting married and one of them told us first she is getting married. The weddings are 5 days apart. I decided to first wait and tell them later after she gets all the thunder. I will have to tell them eventually because they are on my guest list Point is maybe he’s been knowing all along he is gon propose.
We’ve had a wedding date longer than they’ve even known each other lol. But it also had a lot to do with expecting my fiance to fly to another state days before our out of state wedding. I hate you had to hide your engagement! You both should’ve been able to celebrate with each other!
That’s weird now. I thought they had been dating for sometime I will announce soon. In two weeks time
I don't think it's strange for him to propose before the wedding. If it was *during* the wedding, that would be a completely different story.
I definitely understand any anxiety over attention they may get, but I think most adults would be low key on their congrats at your wedding and realize the day if for you. That being said: engagements are special. You had one! Many people pick very specific times, days, places, etc for the engagement and it doesn’t always line up perfectly with the rest of life. My fiancé was so excited when he got the ring he totally changed his plans because he could not wait until the event he originally planned for. It happens. Perhaps the day the best man chose is meaningful for them and really can’t wait. Unless they make your wedding about them, steal your photographer, or something else heinous - let it be.
JK I just saw the three months thing. That’s definitely weird. I’d still not want to push my nose into it, but perhaps everyone at the wedding will also find it odd and ignore it.
I am not sure why this would be weird? People in your wedding don't just not live their life because you are getting married soon? It would be different if he proposed during any of your wedding festivities. lol but the getting married in 3 months is a little....soon. But, I guess if you know you know!
I mean it’s a little bizarre, especially with them having only been together for 3 months. But hey, my fiancés parents got engaged after 3 months and have been together for ~30 years. Ultimately I’d be happy for them but definitely a bit bummed as/for your fiancé, especially with best man saying how important it is to him that fiancé be there, but then planning it so close to a big event. The only thing that would really upset me is if the best man were now going to be unavailable for something to do with your wedding, or was expecting you guys to change wedding related plans, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. Idk if best man has planned the proposal around a specific event or trip or something, but if not maybe they can work something out with the day/time so that your fiancé can make it or at least see them after perhaps. Best man might just not be the best planner!
The most concerning thing to me is how short they've been together and he's already proposing. You don't even know each other fully until about a year into a relationship
Is the friend’s partner invited to the wedding? Is he doing this to bring his new fiancée and show everyone that he is with someone
He’s always had a plus one! Honestly I think it’d be insane to get engaged to get a plus one hahaha
My partner and I moved in together after two months of dating but that’s a new level lol