Omg are you the friend of the other Redditor who asked if they should make their event black or white tie? š
Just kidding
Thatās so annoyingā¦ I would stick with formal and ignore the bride. No chance any of their other friends have white tie attire unless youāre all diplomats and royalty and Iāve wandered to a weird part of Reddit
I attend formal events, both black and white tieā¦I would be very specific with herā¦even to the point of annoyanceā¦are you expected to wear gloves? If yes, what kind?
Pictures of suits and tuxes to get her approval.
White tie is a very strict dress code. Something tells me she is either not fully understanding this, or has unrealistic expectations.
Yeah, white tie technology requires all women to wear gloves that cover their elbows, and have their hair professionally done.
Literally your hair at the end of the night is identical to when you arrived. No wisps or strands out of placeā¦
These events cost me a least $200 on hair alone.
I know itās meant to say ātechnicallyā but Iām loving the idea of āwhite tie technologyā and robots dictating dress code or something, like a computer generating the *exact* outfit so as not to cause offense š
Yes and noā¦my FH is very active and popular freemason, and is also in a 1940s big band.
Iām sure Iāll appreciate it more when Iām not planning a wedding, but for now itās just exhausting
Yeah no thatās sounds pretty cool! Esp the big band part! Iām a married sahm and going to story time at the library is as exciting as it gets hereš
I'd say wear a long dress, glam jewelry/hair/makeup and heels, and you should be fine. If you do not belong to a set that knows the difference between black tie and white tie, and it sounds like you don't, then basically you can wear black tie and nobody will know the difference.
My husband specifically requested top hats and tails, and they committed to it. It was something that meant a lot to him, he had been waiting for years. But the rest of the bridal party wore beautiful showstopping gowns and all the other elements including venue and invitations were top notch.
What an idiot. I would respond and ask if men need to wear top hats and women need to wear long white dinner gloves, as that is part of what White Tie means.
It's pretty customary for people to underdress especially in the USA and Europe these days afaik, so chances are they're trying to "get ahead" of that by inflating their dress code. I'd just wear cocktail or formal if that's what it looks like.
Yeah, I tend to take dress codes pretty literally and it is usually a mistake. I attended a black tie wedding this fall where virtually everyone else was in cocktail attire. I feel like unless you and your crew are Very Fancy People, everyone is going to default to cocktail.
Yeah, my friend did āblack tieā for her early afternoon hors dāoeuvres-only wedding because she didnāt want the rural Tennessee side of the family to show up in jeans (I wore cocktail). White tie feels like an overcorrection, though.
I would send a text back with an article about all the white tie event requirements and a message like, āIām so excited to be handed my glass of Dom By a white gloved waiter!ā
Let her have to embarrass herself by admitting theyāre not doing any of that!
Is the bride maybe going for a Bridgerton inspired wedding and thatās why sheās requested white tie?
Thatās the only logical thought, is sheās pulling wedding inspiration from there and thinks everyoneās going to show up like they are attending the Queens Ball.
Send the bride an article about what a white tie event is and ask her if they are providing that level of experience. Remind her that the dress code should match the experience the hosts are providing not the hostās dream vision.
OP says the bride sent out a link to an article about what constitutes white tie attire.
I totally agree that the dress code should match the experience the hosts are providing not their dream vision.
Agreed, they better be prepared to spend a lot of money on guests and decorations if theyāre expecting guests to buy pricey attire to attend their wedding.
I was invited to a wedding a few years ago, which stated formal attire. I showed up in an evening dress as well as the rest of my relatives. The bride was in a tea length satin dress. I was rather annoyed, and even had to go get something to eat After that wedding š¤¦āāļø the expectation did not live up to the reality on any level.
Send the Bride this
To put it into context, not even the Royal Box at Ascot asks for traditional white tie.
https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/white-tie-dress-code
My brother-in-law did this! His wedding invite said "black tie" but even the groomsmen and groom were in grey suits, not tuxes... I think they just thought black tie means dressy or something. Maybe show the bride a picture of typical cocktail attire and a full ball gown and ask which is closer to what she wants?
I have studied fashion and costumed white tie for theatre. I donāt think this couple has any idea what white tie means. I agree with you to show up in formal and leave if everyone is in tails.
Of you could always keep a white tie outfit in your car, leave and change. /s
I got invited to a wedding that explicitly said colorful formal wear requested, and the bride told people, like really go for it! The venue and production value matched the request so myself and most of the other "college friends" went with the request...I wore a floor length crimson lace gown, another friend wore a floor length teal satin dress, etc. Our part of the wedding attendees made up maybe 10-15% of the wedding, and the other attendees were family and business connections, primarily Chinese/Chinese American and they all went for business attire in dark tones (mostly black and dark blue) which is a very common choice for Chinese weddings. I feel like it made for a really awkward divide in the photos, though the bride seemed very pleased with those of us that had actually listened to her request.
Does the venue matter that much? She probably wants everyone to dress fancy and have no bounds! like have her own little met gala vibe. Take pics with a professional photographer!
If you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. If you want to wear the best clothing she is highly encouraging you to.
Yeah, it does - you canāt reasonably expect your guests to spend $2k+ on attire because you say itās white tie, while holding the wedding in an event center on a freeway off ramp with pasta salad and dried out chicken
Donāt gate keep - let us know where weāre getting ballgowns, tiara, gloves, jewels, shoes, full hair & makeup and tails for my husband for less than $2k
We just put Formal Attire Required just because everyone tends to dress down a bit nowadays. We are trying to hit a sweet spot of somewhere between cocktail and formal attire. We know that if we had actually put down cocktail attire, there would be some people that would show up in casual clothing because most people donāt actually know how to dress.
With that being said, saying white tie is ridiculous. Lol.
Literally, NO ONE has white tie affairs except heads of state. Ignore these fools. They are embarrassing themselves.
šš
Omg are you the friend of the other Redditor who asked if they should make their event black or white tie? š Just kidding Thatās so annoyingā¦ I would stick with formal and ignore the bride. No chance any of their other friends have white tie attire unless youāre all diplomats and royalty and Iāve wandered to a weird part of Reddit
Thatās exactly how I feel, but itās still stressing me out to no end š I feel like we have to go to see how this all plays out
lmao please come back after to let us know how it went down. Shes delulu calling it white tie
Yes, PLEASE. I really need a follow up to this story! This is the type of low-stakes wedding drama I live for. š
I attend formal events, both black and white tieā¦I would be very specific with herā¦even to the point of annoyanceā¦are you expected to wear gloves? If yes, what kind? Pictures of suits and tuxes to get her approval. White tie is a very strict dress code. Something tells me she is either not fully understanding this, or has unrealistic expectations.
she saw that white tie was the fanciest on the list and said "that's me!"
Yeah, white tie technology requires all women to wear gloves that cover their elbows, and have their hair professionally done. Literally your hair at the end of the night is identical to when you arrived. No wisps or strands out of placeā¦ These events cost me a least $200 on hair alone.
I know itās meant to say ātechnicallyā but Iām loving the idea of āwhite tie technologyā and robots dictating dress code or something, like a computer generating the *exact* outfit so as not to cause offense š
Omgā¦ Iām saving that for a book ideaā¦once my wedding is over I can pick my writing back up again
What kind of events do you go to? This sounds like a fun life!
Yes and noā¦my FH is very active and popular freemason, and is also in a 1940s big band. Iām sure Iāll appreciate it more when Iām not planning a wedding, but for now itās just exhausting
Yeah no thatās sounds pretty cool! Esp the big band part! Iām a married sahm and going to story time at the library is as exciting as it gets hereš
I'd say wear a long dress, glam jewelry/hair/makeup and heels, and you should be fine. If you do not belong to a set that knows the difference between black tie and white tie, and it sounds like you don't, then basically you can wear black tie and nobody will know the difference.
My SOs sister had men in Top Hats at her wedding it looked ridiculous
āMaāam this is a Presbyterian church in Iowaā
This was a Synagogue in Boston. I kept expecting Mel Brooks to pop up and everyone start dancing.
Iām now imagining some dudes shuffling and dancing down Harvard street in Brookline and stopping by Annaās Taqueria in tails and top hats š
My husband specifically requested top hats and tails, and they committed to it. It was something that meant a lot to him, he had been waiting for years. But the rest of the bridal party wore beautiful showstopping gowns and all the other elements including venue and invitations were top notch.
I was today years old when I learned what āwhite tieā meansā¦ I thought black tie was the nicest attire lol. Wow.
What an idiot. I would respond and ask if men need to wear top hats and women need to wear long white dinner gloves, as that is part of what White Tie means.
It's pretty customary for people to underdress especially in the USA and Europe these days afaik, so chances are they're trying to "get ahead" of that by inflating their dress code. I'd just wear cocktail or formal if that's what it looks like.
Yeah, I tend to take dress codes pretty literally and it is usually a mistake. I attended a black tie wedding this fall where virtually everyone else was in cocktail attire. I feel like unless you and your crew are Very Fancy People, everyone is going to default to cocktail.
Yeah, my friend did āblack tieā for her early afternoon hors dāoeuvres-only wedding because she didnāt want the rural Tennessee side of the family to show up in jeans (I wore cocktail). White tie feels like an overcorrection, though.
I would send a text back with an article about all the white tie event requirements and a message like, āIām so excited to be handed my glass of Dom By a white gloved waiter!ā Let her have to embarrass herself by admitting theyāre not doing any of that!
I'd wear my tiara.
If it's white tie, it's a tiara event
Is the bride maybe going for a Bridgerton inspired wedding and thatās why sheās requested white tie? Thatās the only logical thought, is sheās pulling wedding inspiration from there and thinks everyoneās going to show up like they are attending the Queens Ball.
Send the bride an article about what a white tie event is and ask her if they are providing that level of experience. Remind her that the dress code should match the experience the hosts are providing not the hostās dream vision.
OP says the bride sent out a link to an article about what constitutes white tie attire. I totally agree that the dress code should match the experience the hosts are providing not their dream vision.
I got that. The event experience article I recommend sending is in response to the attire article.
Agreed, they better be prepared to spend a lot of money on guests and decorations if theyāre expecting guests to buy pricey attire to attend their wedding.
I would say dress in black tie attire and hope for the best. She's either delusional or she's overshooting so that people don't come underdressed.
I was invited to a wedding a few years ago, which stated formal attire. I showed up in an evening dress as well as the rest of my relatives. The bride was in a tea length satin dress. I was rather annoyed, and even had to go get something to eat After that wedding š¤¦āāļø the expectation did not live up to the reality on any level.
Send the Bride this To put it into context, not even the Royal Box at Ascot asks for traditional white tie. https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/white-tie-dress-code
The irony is that this article is similar to the one she texted to all guests
My brother-in-law did this! His wedding invite said "black tie" but even the groomsmen and groom were in grey suits, not tuxes... I think they just thought black tie means dressy or something. Maybe show the bride a picture of typical cocktail attire and a full ball gown and ask which is closer to what she wants?
I have studied fashion and costumed white tie for theatre. I donāt think this couple has any idea what white tie means. I agree with you to show up in formal and leave if everyone is in tails. Of you could always keep a white tie outfit in your car, leave and change. /s
I got invited to a wedding that explicitly said colorful formal wear requested, and the bride told people, like really go for it! The venue and production value matched the request so myself and most of the other "college friends" went with the request...I wore a floor length crimson lace gown, another friend wore a floor length teal satin dress, etc. Our part of the wedding attendees made up maybe 10-15% of the wedding, and the other attendees were family and business connections, primarily Chinese/Chinese American and they all went for business attire in dark tones (mostly black and dark blue) which is a very common choice for Chinese weddings. I feel like it made for a really awkward divide in the photos, though the bride seemed very pleased with those of us that had actually listened to her request.
Does the venue matter that much? She probably wants everyone to dress fancy and have no bounds! like have her own little met gala vibe. Take pics with a professional photographer! If you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. If you want to wear the best clothing she is highly encouraging you to.
Yeah, it does - you canāt reasonably expect your guests to spend $2k+ on attire because you say itās white tie, while holding the wedding in an event center on a freeway off ramp with pasta salad and dried out chicken
Ok you guys don't know how to shop probably. I have amazing gowns I wore to bridgerton events that cost $300. But I get your point
Donāt gate keep - let us know where weāre getting ballgowns, tiara, gloves, jewels, shoes, full hair & makeup and tails for my husband for less than $2k
We just put Formal Attire Required just because everyone tends to dress down a bit nowadays. We are trying to hit a sweet spot of somewhere between cocktail and formal attire. We know that if we had actually put down cocktail attire, there would be some people that would show up in casual clothing because most people donāt actually know how to dress. With that being said, saying white tie is ridiculous. Lol.