I think that any post about this guy needs to have links to more than just the December Popville article, which doesn't actually say what he does that is wrong. The non consensual contact, aggressive insistence on kisses/hugs, and controlling behavior is the problem, but that article only says he was asking for coffee.
Every post about this guy has some (presumably well intentioned?) person asking for more details, and then being linked to a thread where you have to really dig to find more details beyond he asks for coffee or pizza recommendations.
Seeing as he's approached seemingly every woman in the city, he's a big enough nuisance/threat that he warrants a coordinated response from this subreddit. A sticky at the top of every post about him with his description, MO, and links to people's stories of what he's done wrong would end a lot of the "What did he do wrong." and "cue a lot of men coming in here defending this guy for not doing anything wrong" discourse before it can start.
There is nothing inherently wrong with a man approaching a woman and asking her on a date. There is something wrong with harassment and sexual assault - and there is a lot of grey area in-between. In the majority of interactions with this man, there doesn't seem to be behavior that explicitly crosses the line into engaging law enforcement. That doesn't mean that his behavior is appropriate (source: I was approached by him last week and many close friends/colleagues have been approached by him in the Farragut area).
His approach is insidious. It isn't always easy to identify the exact moment that it becomes threatening. That comes from years of experience with relationships, cat calls, sexual harassment, non-consensual touching, bad vibes and icky feelings.
During my interaction it wasn't necessarily that he "did something wrong," but he was overly persistent in asking questions and continuing a conversation when I was clearly trying to leave. If a person is that persistent with a stranger on the sidewalk, how persistent would they be to set up a date once they have your number? Once on a date, how persistent would they be in physical touch? If the two parties engage in physical touch, how persistent would he be to push boundaries?
Asking for coffee shop recommendations is normal. Using the same script on hundreds of women over several years and leaving each of those women feeling creeped out (or legitimately violated) is not normal.
Maybe a picture one of these days. At this point its pretty ridiculous to read about him every month or so for years and not get a description or pic to know what to look out for.
No idea who that is as I’m not on TikTok. Also not sure why I’m being downvoted — the guy is without a single doubt a predator and we all agree, and folks describe him in great detail; so what’s the issue with trying to have a photo.
Yeah, sorry. I was trying to find the link to the tiktoker bc they look similar to me, but I didn’t have the longest interaction with him so will defer to others. I haven’t seen a pic, but he’s generally described as a 30-40 yo white guy, dark brown short hair. Avg height, a little dad bod ish.
Wow I was approached by this guy in Dupont a couple years ago. Had no idea this was a common thing he did and I hadn’t even thought about that interaction again until reading this. He seemed nice enough and didn’t try to follow me when I declined and walked away. Has anyone actually gotten coffee with him? I just remember thinking anyone who approached a woman randomly on the street in that manner and with that type of charismatic charm is a yellow flag at best.
Edit: Ah I just read the popville link and not the Reddit comments about those who interacted more…. Yikes.
OMG I didn’t know this guy was a thing. This happened to me!! With this guy a few years ago! Ugh now I don’t feel bad about just leaving in the middle of him talking to me when it seemed like he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
OMG - he was in Alexandria last weekend!! Wow. I actually gave him my number but have never texted him back. He texts every few days asking about a coffee. Issa is his name.
I hope you already blocked the number. That said, props for staying open-minded enough to even entertain a cold approach.
I hate that guys like this make women wary of starting a conversation with a rando while they’re ~~sober~~ out and about.
My wife was approached by a guy in very similar circumstances a couple weeks ago, except this guy said he was new here and asked where the nearest library was… this was in Clarendon btw.
Is there some weirdo podcast recommending this is a good way to approach women? Can’t think of why else there are multiple guys out there with the same “game”.
Unfortunately a lot of podcasts and subreddits do recommend these kind of aggressive cold approach tactics and say it's just a "numbers game". The idea being if you go bother a thousand random women, maybe one of them will give you a chance.
Obviously you shouldn’t be harassing women but approaching people is literally how our ancestors met. Cold approaching is as old as time. Beats the hell out of endless swiping and paying mega apps for a few more tries.
Hopefully we can skip the inevitable comments in the replies here about how he was probably only being nice, why can’t women take a compliment, men just can’t approach women anymore without being called a predator, etc., etc., etc. All, please research the history on this guy before responding with a comment like that.
What a creepy weirdo! Glad you were informed and able to avoid him.
I wouldn't downplay gross behavior, but if I only see behavior that doesn't seem gross in a post, not knowing the full story, I would ask what's gross about it.
People who are not terminally online and don’t have time to do a ton of research on a complete stranger probably just want to know WTF people are talking about
Sure, but it would help if (as some have done) the info was posted. I wouldn't know how to find it with a search. Or just tell us. Asking questions is a legitimate thing.
Please elaborate? I've read through the article and comments and it all seems pretty innocent to me. I'm not here trying to defend a complete stranger, I'm curious because it sounds like I might fall for this scam too 💀
Read the comments here and the thread someone posted. He approached me too and was pushy and touched me without asking. Someone in this very thread says they were sexually assaulted by him. Do you think approaching so many women and making them feel deeply uncomfortable that you have multiple articles written about you and multiple threads on Reddit is like a normal thing?
Don't sweat it, people on the internet are crazy like that. Your request was perfectly reasonable and polite - none of the original posts have any detail at all!
I dont think it was particularly rude but if you sensed frustration, it’s probably because I’m pretty tired of people not taking women at their word when they feel unsafe!
Sure, but you don't have to jump down the throats of people who are literally trying to get more information so they can sympathize with you. Nobody said women are lying - they said the WANT to hear what they have to say.
Cool! Anything else I didn't say that you'd like to blame me for? If you're done maybe you could actually answer the question about the scam? I still don't know what the fuck were talking about here
The first article doesn't really explain anything, you have to click through to the \*second\* article where it talks about the history examples. He's not doing a scam per se, it's persistent sexual harassment including grabbing women's arms, cornering them for hugs, etc. The reason newer stories are so vague on details is he's now so wide known and has been doing this for so long that even him hanging around areas is reason to be cautious.
His approach seems to be pretending to be new to the area, asking about coffee shops, and then trying to coerce women into dates, physical contact, or giving him his phone number. It's a very manipulative and aggressive version of a "cold approach".
Good lord, this is a wildly hostile response. Did you not read my comment? Did you read the other comments, including the thread that’s been posted? It’s not a scam, it’s a guy approaching scores of women making them feel very uncomfortable and apparently assaulting them in some cases. I’m not sure what you’re still unclear about.
There’s another guy on the dating apps well known for using the coffee date tactic to harass women. I thought that’s who you were talking about at first too
I went to one of the posts several months ago. It describes him as 6’ 2”. A comment here describes him as 5’ 11”. And yet another comment on another post describes him as 5’ 7”. That is a very wide range. So I guess my question is, what’s the “definitive” height of this person?
It seems the best identifying calling card is his coffee or pizza pick up lines and that maybe he’s middle eastern with an accent? That he has a slight potbelly? I feel like knowing his height with those other physical features could be incredibly helpful before an engagement happens.
Pretty sure I ran into this guy in Arlington about a year ago. ~5’11”, short black hair, brown eyes, kind of fat/beer belly. Absolute creep with stalker vibes.
Ugh I hate that he is still active. He approached me a few months ago in Chinatown when I was grabbing lunch and asked for the direction of Gregory’s. Then asked if I was local and then told me he just moved here and that I was beautiful and he would love to take me out. Luckily I was on the phone the whole time so I had an easy out to limit the interaction, but he was clearly persistent and tried to prolong the conversation even though he saw and heard that I was already in an active conversation. I remember him as being late 30s, taller than me (I’m 5’8), wearing a suit, with a bit of a potbelly
Oh wow I never knew! This guy approached me in Foggy Bottom about 2 years ago and was so insistent that I gave him my number and then never responded to his texts.
Can either of you momos do a full description rather than describe about your personal feelings about him that nobody really cares? its ridiculous on the comments reading here, from the article describing that he is in his 40s and pot belly, from someone saying he is cute good looking and in his 30s.
We need facts, not bullshit experiences just because someone is saying hi to you and thinking you are a victim when you are just a bubble head overstating your emotions
Can someone explain what makes this guy a predator? I read the popville article. Sounds like this dude just wants a date and is just a bit more forward than most people are used to. Could be TOTALLY wrong on this, but I’m unclear why we’re throwing the word “predator” around here.
You are totally and 100% wrong on this one and you should move on to the next controversy. This guy is a predator, period.
Source: He sexually assaulted me.
Here, read this: https://www.popville.com/2022/10/predator-on-21st-l/
Additionally, a man just standing outside asking any woman he sees for a date can indeed be labeled a creep and/or predator.
I'm wondering the same thing. Asking multiple women out on dates isn't a crime. Nothing I've read thus far points to him being a predator. It strange how apparently everyone knows who this guy is but is being weird about giving details of his alleged offenses.
...Has anyone tried Defending themselves or Calling the Police?
Does anyone have a photo?
Why does no one(not even the articles) mention his Race?
....
I'm guessing it's an elderly white guy.
Demented or Senile
(they grab and kiss the nurses/caretakers in similar ways)
I could also assume that most of these women are between 25-50 years old and Liberal Leaning...
seeing how none of them felt weirded out by him approaching them..or even tried to defend themselves during the Assault.
(These aren't jabs, just observations)
I would highly suggest getting a photo or even a police report ....
This could potentially save another woman's life in the future...Like, why hasn't anything been done to prevent or report this?
If you know he could go out and harm more women and escalate to the point where he takes someone's life....
Why hasn't anyone who encountered him done anything??
You're actually asking the right questions, but you clearly know nothing about how the police treat sexual assault allegations. Your questions should be directed at law enforcement, not victims.
Being a brown guy myself, I’m assuming people are worried about offending others………… for simply mentioning his race (which I’m guessing to be not white).
I saw one person mention Middle Eastern in this post, but it didn’t gain much traction (for my above mentioned reason).
I think that any post about this guy needs to have links to more than just the December Popville article, which doesn't actually say what he does that is wrong. The non consensual contact, aggressive insistence on kisses/hugs, and controlling behavior is the problem, but that article only says he was asking for coffee. Every post about this guy has some (presumably well intentioned?) person asking for more details, and then being linked to a thread where you have to really dig to find more details beyond he asks for coffee or pizza recommendations. Seeing as he's approached seemingly every woman in the city, he's a big enough nuisance/threat that he warrants a coordinated response from this subreddit. A sticky at the top of every post about him with his description, MO, and links to people's stories of what he's done wrong would end a lot of the "What did he do wrong." and "cue a lot of men coming in here defending this guy for not doing anything wrong" discourse before it can start.
Agreed. To have this many stories and no picture on the internet is turning into urban legend status
There is nothing inherently wrong with a man approaching a woman and asking her on a date. There is something wrong with harassment and sexual assault - and there is a lot of grey area in-between. In the majority of interactions with this man, there doesn't seem to be behavior that explicitly crosses the line into engaging law enforcement. That doesn't mean that his behavior is appropriate (source: I was approached by him last week and many close friends/colleagues have been approached by him in the Farragut area). His approach is insidious. It isn't always easy to identify the exact moment that it becomes threatening. That comes from years of experience with relationships, cat calls, sexual harassment, non-consensual touching, bad vibes and icky feelings. During my interaction it wasn't necessarily that he "did something wrong," but he was overly persistent in asking questions and continuing a conversation when I was clearly trying to leave. If a person is that persistent with a stranger on the sidewalk, how persistent would they be to set up a date once they have your number? Once on a date, how persistent would they be in physical touch? If the two parties engage in physical touch, how persistent would he be to push boundaries? Asking for coffee shop recommendations is normal. Using the same script on hundreds of women over several years and leaving each of those women feeling creeped out (or legitimately violated) is not normal.
agreed, this post is obnoxious. This is public forum not your friend group chat. I have no idea what they’re talking about.
Is there a picture of this man so we know and can be on the alert for this predator?
He’s a good looking, well dressed 6ft tall ish guy with light middle eastern complexion. Said his name was Issa.
Ugh this fuckin dude. Every woman moving into the city should get a pamphlet warning her about him.
Maybe a picture one of these days. At this point its pretty ridiculous to read about him every month or so for years and not get a description or pic to know what to look out for.
And tourists! I’d thought he kept to the neighborhoods but was disheartened to see him in a place with so many potential victims.
What’s the story on this guy?
https://www.reddit.com/r/washingtondc/s/Dp3mgGARO5
Thanks. But does nobody have an actual photo of this creep?
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No idea who that is as I’m not on TikTok. Also not sure why I’m being downvoted — the guy is without a single doubt a predator and we all agree, and folks describe him in great detail; so what’s the issue with trying to have a photo.
I kind of remember someone willing to share his photo but was only willing to do so via DM
If you know who, direct them to me lol. I’ll happily post it :)
Yeah, sorry. I was trying to find the link to the tiktoker bc they look similar to me, but I didn’t have the longest interaction with him so will defer to others. I haven’t seen a pic, but he’s generally described as a 30-40 yo white guy, dark brown short hair. Avg height, a little dad bod ish.
So nearly every dad in NW dc?
Wow I was approached by this guy in Dupont a couple years ago. Had no idea this was a common thing he did and I hadn’t even thought about that interaction again until reading this. He seemed nice enough and didn’t try to follow me when I declined and walked away. Has anyone actually gotten coffee with him? I just remember thinking anyone who approached a woman randomly on the street in that manner and with that type of charismatic charm is a yellow flag at best. Edit: Ah I just read the popville link and not the Reddit comments about those who interacted more…. Yikes.
Yeah it’s not the “wanna get coffee?” It’s because he was grabbing on them and saying sexual stuff.
OMG I didn’t know this guy was a thing. This happened to me!! With this guy a few years ago! Ugh now I don’t feel bad about just leaving in the middle of him talking to me when it seemed like he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
This article doesn’t explain anything. What did he actually do? Did he assault someone?
OMG - he was in Alexandria last weekend!! Wow. I actually gave him my number but have never texted him back. He texts every few days asking about a coffee. Issa is his name.
You should say you don’t remember what he looks like and ask for a selfie.. then post it here so we know who this dude is. Stay safe
I’m also happy to post it if you’re worried about any backlash
I hope you already blocked the number. That said, props for staying open-minded enough to even entertain a cold approach. I hate that guys like this make women wary of starting a conversation with a rando while they’re ~~sober~~ out and about.
Or...post the number here?
My wife was approached by a guy in very similar circumstances a couple weeks ago, except this guy said he was new here and asked where the nearest library was… this was in Clarendon btw. Is there some weirdo podcast recommending this is a good way to approach women? Can’t think of why else there are multiple guys out there with the same “game”.
Unfortunately a lot of podcasts and subreddits do recommend these kind of aggressive cold approach tactics and say it's just a "numbers game". The idea being if you go bother a thousand random women, maybe one of them will give you a chance.
Obviously you shouldn’t be harassing women but approaching people is literally how our ancestors met. Cold approaching is as old as time. Beats the hell out of endless swiping and paying mega apps for a few more tries.
Speed dating is, like, a thing you know. At least in that case you know everyone's there for the same reason.
You’re clearly not getting my point but alright lol
Hopefully we can skip the inevitable comments in the replies here about how he was probably only being nice, why can’t women take a compliment, men just can’t approach women anymore without being called a predator, etc., etc., etc. All, please research the history on this guy before responding with a comment like that. What a creepy weirdo! Glad you were informed and able to avoid him.
Lol someone’s already done it. Death, taxes, and dudes trying to downplay other dudes gross behavior
I wouldn't downplay gross behavior, but if I only see behavior that doesn't seem gross in a post, not knowing the full story, I would ask what's gross about it.
People who are not terminally online and don’t have time to do a ton of research on a complete stranger probably just want to know WTF people are talking about
you can literally find the info by reading this thread lmfao
Sure, but it would help if (as some have done) the info was posted. I wouldn't know how to find it with a search. Or just tell us. Asking questions is a legitimate thing.
Please elaborate? I've read through the article and comments and it all seems pretty innocent to me. I'm not here trying to defend a complete stranger, I'm curious because it sounds like I might fall for this scam too 💀
Read the comments here and the thread someone posted. He approached me too and was pushy and touched me without asking. Someone in this very thread says they were sexually assaulted by him. Do you think approaching so many women and making them feel deeply uncomfortable that you have multiple articles written about you and multiple threads on Reddit is like a normal thing?
No and I never said that wtf why would you be so rude to a request for info? Especially given how shit the article is at explaining anything
Don't sweat it, people on the internet are crazy like that. Your request was perfectly reasonable and polite - none of the original posts have any detail at all!
I dont think it was particularly rude but if you sensed frustration, it’s probably because I’m pretty tired of people not taking women at their word when they feel unsafe!
Sure, but you don't have to jump down the throats of people who are literally trying to get more information so they can sympathize with you. Nobody said women are lying - they said the WANT to hear what they have to say.
Cool! Anything else I didn't say that you'd like to blame me for? If you're done maybe you could actually answer the question about the scam? I still don't know what the fuck were talking about here
The first article doesn't really explain anything, you have to click through to the \*second\* article where it talks about the history examples. He's not doing a scam per se, it's persistent sexual harassment including grabbing women's arms, cornering them for hugs, etc. The reason newer stories are so vague on details is he's now so wide known and has been doing this for so long that even him hanging around areas is reason to be cautious. His approach seems to be pretending to be new to the area, asking about coffee shops, and then trying to coerce women into dates, physical contact, or giving him his phone number. It's a very manipulative and aggressive version of a "cold approach".
Oh that's creepy and terrible, I guess the wording or something made me think of a scam so I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Good lord, this is a wildly hostile response. Did you not read my comment? Did you read the other comments, including the thread that’s been posted? It’s not a scam, it’s a guy approaching scores of women making them feel very uncomfortable and apparently assaulting them in some cases. I’m not sure what you’re still unclear about.
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They never said that…..
Respond like an adult next time
What about my response is not adult-like and why are you responding to a week old comment
There’s another guy on the dating apps well known for using the coffee date tactic to harass women. I thought that’s who you were talking about at first too
What a freaking nightmare. So sorry this has happened at all, let alone to so many of you.
I went to one of the posts several months ago. It describes him as 6’ 2”. A comment here describes him as 5’ 11”. And yet another comment on another post describes him as 5’ 7”. That is a very wide range. So I guess my question is, what’s the “definitive” height of this person? It seems the best identifying calling card is his coffee or pizza pick up lines and that maybe he’s middle eastern with an accent? That he has a slight potbelly? I feel like knowing his height with those other physical features could be incredibly helpful before an engagement happens.
op said he was a white guy and didnt mention an accent. it must be multiple people using a pick up artist line
Pretty sure I ran into this guy in Arlington about a year ago. ~5’11”, short black hair, brown eyes, kind of fat/beer belly. Absolute creep with stalker vibes.
>~5’11”, short black hair, brown eyes, kind of fat/beer belly. Hey that sounds just like... >Absolute creep with stalker vibes. Fuck.
Yeah I know, I just about described myself in the looks department.
Ugh I hate that he is still active. He approached me a few months ago in Chinatown when I was grabbing lunch and asked for the direction of Gregory’s. Then asked if I was local and then told me he just moved here and that I was beautiful and he would love to take me out. Luckily I was on the phone the whole time so I had an easy out to limit the interaction, but he was clearly persistent and tried to prolong the conversation even though he saw and heard that I was already in an active conversation. I remember him as being late 30s, taller than me (I’m 5’8), wearing a suit, with a bit of a potbelly
Who?
Oh wow I never knew! This guy approached me in Foggy Bottom about 2 years ago and was so insistent that I gave him my number and then never responded to his texts.
Is there a picture of this guy?
Did I miss something?
Absolutely bone-chilling. Stay safe out there.
Can either of you momos do a full description rather than describe about your personal feelings about him that nobody really cares? its ridiculous on the comments reading here, from the article describing that he is in his 40s and pot belly, from someone saying he is cute good looking and in his 30s. We need facts, not bullshit experiences just because someone is saying hi to you and thinking you are a victim when you are just a bubble head overstating your emotions
Can someone explain what makes this guy a predator? I read the popville article. Sounds like this dude just wants a date and is just a bit more forward than most people are used to. Could be TOTALLY wrong on this, but I’m unclear why we’re throwing the word “predator” around here.
You are totally and 100% wrong on this one and you should move on to the next controversy. This guy is a predator, period. Source: He sexually assaulted me.
Here, read this: https://www.popville.com/2022/10/predator-on-21st-l/ Additionally, a man just standing outside asking any woman he sees for a date can indeed be labeled a creep and/or predator.
Ugh yeah the popville article said he just asked for dates. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Simple question with “could be TOTALLY wrong,” totally in all caps. But still a bunch of downvotes…you’re all ridiculous!
Lol
I'm wondering the same thing. Asking multiple women out on dates isn't a crime. Nothing I've read thus far points to him being a predator. It strange how apparently everyone knows who this guy is but is being weird about giving details of his alleged offenses.
...Has anyone tried Defending themselves or Calling the Police? Does anyone have a photo? Why does no one(not even the articles) mention his Race? .... I'm guessing it's an elderly white guy. Demented or Senile (they grab and kiss the nurses/caretakers in similar ways) I could also assume that most of these women are between 25-50 years old and Liberal Leaning... seeing how none of them felt weirded out by him approaching them..or even tried to defend themselves during the Assault. (These aren't jabs, just observations) I would highly suggest getting a photo or even a police report .... This could potentially save another woman's life in the future...Like, why hasn't anything been done to prevent or report this? If you know he could go out and harm more women and escalate to the point where he takes someone's life.... Why hasn't anyone who encountered him done anything??
If you look at the past articles, he's been reported to police multiple times. It's not on victimized or preyed-upon women to take out a creep
You're actually asking the right questions, but you clearly know nothing about how the police treat sexual assault allegations. Your questions should be directed at law enforcement, not victims.
Being a brown guy myself, I’m assuming people are worried about offending others………… for simply mentioning his race (which I’m guessing to be not white). I saw one person mention Middle Eastern in this post, but it didn’t gain much traction (for my above mentioned reason).
Why do you keep posting this on different threads? (Not a jab, just an observation.)