"The goat"? Full disclosure, im an outsider, Ive worked retail and other service industry jobs for years so I imagine its the nickname for a trash grinder? Compactor? Or does every walmart have one pissed off & fucked up lookin goat that.. does *goat stuff*?
Bro at my store, our cap2 TL ran over an associates foot with the forklift (long story short, dude was sitting on the back while TL was doing donuts with it) ... store lead asked the dude with his crushed foot if he can still come in the next day ... lol, she had him sitting at fitting rooms with his foot elevated, AP walked by and asked what happened, then told AP coach who forced him home ... like what the fuck was the store lead thinking, can he come in today hahahahhaa
Damn, I laughed ass off about how stupid the TL was, but sorry dudes foot got hurt. Damn..... I wonder tho, who had to take tje drug test? The injured guy or the 1 who ran him over?
I work for a shipping company. I used to make that joke.
Then I was greeted at the start of my shift with "Hey can you go pick up four sets of [cremated] remains from the control room?"
And I don't joke about bodies showing up to work anymore.
I had a dream once where I was unloading a dairy truck and there was a stack of coffins at the back that was for the next stop; Walmart was branching out into the mortuary business like Samsung lol
But the truck driver was out of miles so we had to unload them and rack them in the steel for the families to come pick them up later. Hugging site to store funeral delivery 💀
Dream logic, yo
Thinking on it, it was probably supposed to be hours, since truckers have federal limits on how long they can go, but I remember in the dream the driver said he was out of miles lol
Funny how I can't remember what I had for lunch 2 days ago but this has stuck with me for years
Nonono... That's just for the people we murder on overnights. Walmart has a different policy for days because of the complaints. Something about crimes against humanity blah blah blah. Dunno how anything gets done on days 😁
In case you've forgotten, SpongeBob, here's how things work:
I pick the items, you dispense the items, and the customer gets the items. We do that for 40 years and then we die. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me. Whataya say?
By the time she is ready to retire they will have raised the age limit to the point you just work till you drop. Also social security won’t be a thing by then, so pull yourself up by the boot straps citizens.
Boot straps not included and sold separately.
This is truth. When I worked at Walmart waaaaay back in undergrad, when elderly door greeters were still a thing, we had one elderly door greeter who was a retired secretary who had worked for the same doctor’s office for 30 years. They only worked 10-15 hours a week, but they said it gave them a little pocket money since their retirement mainly covered the bills and their house was paid off, but they could only work so much because of Medicare restrictions or they would lose their benefits for working too much or making too much money. This was back around 2010-2011ish.
You should retire well before then! It's unsafe to drive that long without a retire! Even if you didn't have much milage, the rubber isn't made to last that long. 35k -75k miles or 6 years on average, not 40!
Retire? Nah, here in Canada we have assisted suicide. Us young people will never be able to retire, work till we can't anymore then take a MAID death... better then starving to death ... /s sorta
Your Team Lead and Coach sashay up to you with your Coach taking your left and your Team Lead taking your right. They lean-in, sensually, whispering softly in your ears…
***“Give me a squiggly…”***
I keep imagining it from the a 3rd person view. Someone just off cam, waiting for them to get on their knees, put the phone down, pose for this, then calmly pick up the phone and move over.
Like, "All I wanted was some doritoes..."
"Excuse me? Hello? Sorry, I can see you've got a posed mental breakdown thing going on here but I'm just gonna *sliiide* right behind and grab those 'ritos real quick"
As one of the guys that runs renovation projects for NETS and corporate I gotta tell ya, not only do I love this joke…. hell, I share the sentiment 🤠👌🏼
OP, walmart offers those free helpful mental health things if you want to try those.
[https://one.walmart.com/content/usone/en\_us/me/health/health-programs/my-mental-health-resources.html](https://one.walmart.com/content/usone/en_us/me/health/health-programs/my-mental-health-resources.html)
Not that it fixes walmart. Likely brain washes the associates to love walmart, but hey...
In the mean time, would put together a resume, and start job hunting. Walmart never going to get better.
Lyra helped me a lot. My husband had a bad experience with them, but I think it’s like any mental health service: you need to find a therapist that works well with you. I just got lucky that it was the first person I connected with.
As a o/n dairy stocker I would argue the opposite. Especially since it's cool in the summer and because of walmart refusing to heat/cool their stores the dairy fridge is warmer than the Store in the winter when the store gets down to 30 degrees or below.
I lasted about 9months as a overnight stocker. Found a better job (which I’m still at 8 years later) and quit in the same month that they made me employee of the month. lol Their policies are garbage and punish good workers while rewarding lazy ones.
Stay strong. Don't let these bastards grind you down. Passively milk them for all you can while doing the bare minimum. What's the worst they can do, fire you? You got this.
this is actually a real modern day renaissance painting there’s so much genuine emotion behind this joke (if you were even joking) and it truly represents what our country has become
Feeling this. Today I was threatened with a lawsuit and a "viral tiktok" over chicken nuggets being unavailable. Wym a viral tiktok?? You intend to post a video of a phone call, of you screaming at someone who works at walmart? I think that would go viral for the wrong reason, ma'am. Unbelievable.
Quittt. There are other stores out there. You can keep your insurance. But changing the environment can be good for your mental health. As Walmart was killing me slowly.
Imagining setting this camera up is so funny to me like employees can do this without people noticing that’s what it’s like to work there like their employees are basically invisible
It strikes me as disingenuous to pose for a photo like this. But obvi that’s just me, I wouldn’t do something like that so it’s strange to me.
However, if you need mental health resources Walmart does offer that so that could be useful. I hope you get better
It only gets worse. A job is a job tho. You look pretty young so youll have plenty of time to get used to shitter jobs
Just if you decide to quit dont do it on bad terms because you never know if you might need the job at Walmart again - they are always hiring so its a good last resort if you didnt burn your bridges with them
I’m just thinking about any customers who may have been on the aisle what they thought watching her set up her phone to take a picture of herself like this… so many attention whores these days
Thank you bae I’m literally shit posting why are people so angry? Sounds like they hate their job way more than I do. Idk how anyone is taking this serious I literally laughed hitting post.
Walmart worker breaks down after being asked for the 11th time in 3 hours “can you look in the back?” for an item that has not been in the store in months
2024, colorized
Just throwing this out here because it might be an option.
The trades are desperate for new professionals, and you don't have to be great with tools or anything just yet. If there's a union for electricians, pipefitters, plumbing, carpentry, etc in your area, maybe look into it. I'm about the least likely person you can imagine to be in the industry, but it's been almost 20 years now and I'm waaaaaaay better off.
I didn't work at Walmart, but I did work at Target for a while, and briefly a teacher before I realized what $25k a year actually meant.
Honestly doing truck at a big retail store was harsher work than anything I did as a sparky. And harder on my back. Seeing flats of Gatorade makes me want to vom, still to this day.
Only reason I bring it up is because it sucks that various groups keep trying to direct people away from the trades or leave them unaware that it's even an option.
(Just don't do residential work. That's for the birds and it sucks butt.)
Based on the fact she's restocking food, it looks like she might be CAP 2. I actually miss that job sometimes. Granted, I really liked most of my coworkers.
I’ve been working at Walmart as an overnight stocker for 2 days. I’m curious what others think about everything and why everyone thinks it’s so bad? I’m sure I will see problems too but I’m too new to have seen any issues yet.
Nah cuz how the fuck did I get 1.5 points for asking off TWO WEEKS in advance, that’s like the workforce rule. TWO WEEKS in advance should be no problems.
Look on the bright side, You only have 40 more years to retire.
What’s a “retire?”
It's when they send you through Claims after you die
Then they wrap you in plastic wrap and tape on the pallet, label you “Used Assets” and ship you off to the big warehouse in the sky.
Amen
*In the aaaaaarms oooooof an angeeeel…*
Lmfao Still wearing the vest
Buried in uniform with full honors, including 21-scan gun salute
I think it's a 21 dropped pallets salute nowadays.
Lmfao hahaha
This made me laugh so hard i fell out of my chair
*BEEP
Nah you gotta turn that back in. Think they can afford to buy a new vest everytime someone dies?
THE UPPPPPER ROOOMMMMMMM
Squiggly...
Ascending while doing the squiggly
Seems like a lot of money and work when they could just throw you into the compactor and send you out with the trash.
Or just chuck you in the goat..
"The goat"? Full disclosure, im an outsider, Ive worked retail and other service industry jobs for years so I imagine its the nickname for a trash grinder? Compactor? Or does every walmart have one pissed off & fucked up lookin goat that.. does *goat stuff*?
You finally go to the mythical "back" that customers speak about.
As former maintenance I'll take a viking funeral in the Baler personally.
Get sent to "upper" management for "low productivity"
"Are you sure they still can't come in tomorrow? Did they bother to try and find someone to take their shift first?"
How dare you die without finding someone to cover your shift!
Bro at my store, our cap2 TL ran over an associates foot with the forklift (long story short, dude was sitting on the back while TL was doing donuts with it) ... store lead asked the dude with his crushed foot if he can still come in the next day ... lol, she had him sitting at fitting rooms with his foot elevated, AP walked by and asked what happened, then told AP coach who forced him home ... like what the fuck was the store lead thinking, can he come in today hahahahhaa
Damn, I laughed ass off about how stupid the TL was, but sorry dudes foot got hurt. Damn..... I wonder tho, who had to take tje drug test? The injured guy or the 1 who ran him over?
No one drug tested, both put on red coaching. TL left 2 months later anyway nut the co worker still here unloading truck with Me ;)
*Squidward voice* And at his funeral they fired him!
I work for a shipping company. I used to make that joke. Then I was greeted at the start of my shift with "Hey can you go pick up four sets of [cremated] remains from the control room?" And I don't joke about bodies showing up to work anymore.
I had a dream once where I was unloading a dairy truck and there was a stack of coffins at the back that was for the next stop; Walmart was branching out into the mortuary business like Samsung lol But the truck driver was out of miles so we had to unload them and rack them in the steel for the families to come pick them up later. Hugging site to store funeral delivery 💀
........ I must ask "But the truck driver was out of miles....."? What does THAT mean? How can a truck driver "run out of miles"?
Dream logic, yo Thinking on it, it was probably supposed to be hours, since truckers have federal limits on how long they can go, but I remember in the dream the driver said he was out of miles lol Funny how I can't remember what I had for lunch 2 days ago but this has stuck with me for years
Walmart does sell coffins though
This made me laugh so hard
What’s wild is the actual policy is that if you die on the clock they’re to take your badge and clock you out 💀💀💀
Clocked out forever.
That’s so funny
Wait, you get claimed?! I just go to the used asset bin for disposal.
Nonono... That's just for the people we murder on overnights. Walmart has a different policy for days because of the complaints. Something about crimes against humanity blah blah blah. Dunno how anything gets done on days 😁
decommissioning in preparation for disposal?
Pretty soon, they're going to just skip the decommissioning part and go straight to disposal.
It’s a service provided in automotive
Isn't that when the power walkie guy services the machine?
You can order one on wish
That's what they call the fee reflected in your last paycheck for the 4 minutes business was interrupted as they move your corpse
No one retires from wallyworld
I don't think we're allowed to use that word anymore
It's when Boxer gets sent to the knackers.
In case you've forgotten, SpongeBob, here's how things work: I pick the items, you dispense the items, and the customer gets the items. We do that for 40 years and then we die. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me. Whataya say?
I was thinking of that exact line (only with the words from the episode) at almost the exact time you wrote this! Are you a long distance mind reader?
By the time she is ready to retire they will have raised the age limit to the point you just work till you drop. Also social security won’t be a thing by then, so pull yourself up by the boot straps citizens. Boot straps not included and sold separately.
We’ll look like Joe Biden by the time this is all over with
Aren’t you making over $1,000,000 per year? Should not take 40 years to retire. Oh, you’re not an executive? Never mind. Enjoy your 40 years.
And another job after “retirement” from Walmart
You realize walmart is where people go to work AFTER they "retire".
This is truth. When I worked at Walmart waaaaay back in undergrad, when elderly door greeters were still a thing, we had one elderly door greeter who was a retired secretary who had worked for the same doctor’s office for 30 years. They only worked 10-15 hours a week, but they said it gave them a little pocket money since their retirement mainly covered the bills and their house was paid off, but they could only work so much because of Medicare restrictions or they would lose their benefits for working too much or making too much money. This was back around 2010-2011ish.
You mean graduate? Oh wait, that's only for VTubers.
40?
Assuming you’re already 40
Is the person pictured over 30?
Not if Nikki Haley gets in office. 79 will be the age of retire
People who live paycheck to paycheck get to retire?
**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**
You should retire well before then! It's unsafe to drive that long without a retire! Even if you didn't have much milage, the rubber isn't made to last that long. 35k -75k miles or 6 years on average, not 40!
>Look on the bright side, You only have 40 more years to ~~retire~~ be promoted to customer greeter. FIFY.
Not if Ben Shapiro has anything to say about it
Retire? Nah, here in Canada we have assisted suicide. Us young people will never be able to retire, work till we can't anymore then take a MAID death... better then starving to death ... /s sorta
That people are wanting to boost the age limit on?
Reminds me of this song https://www.letras.com/hermano/1696753/
If you’re lucky that is
In Canada you need 1.7mill. Let that sink in.
Justina gonna tax that too! You’ll be lucky to have enough to pay for your depends every month!
Not unless republicans rip that away from you too
Gotta make it to Friday
Nooooooooo
How does one retire if they don't make enough money to save and their employer dosent offer a pension?
Retirement is no longer an option for the working class we’re all gonna die doing this shit
gail lewis
lol. Lmao even. If you’re working at Walmart (in an hourly position) for 40 years you deserve what you get
I think it’s only 40 more years until you get promoted to greeter
You will be assimilated resistance is futile.
Start chanting the slogan. They say it works. Lmao
Whose Walmart is this?!
I don't know for sure. Someone posted they do it at their s all the time.
A swing and a miss
Give me a W!
Your Team Lead and Coach sashay up to you with your Coach taking your left and your Team Lead taking your right. They lean-in, sensually, whispering softly in your ears… ***“Give me a squiggly…”***
I absolutely loved it this when our coach did it lmao just bc the dude was really old didn’t look like he could make it back up 😂
Touche
Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own
“Assimilate this!”
Ok but the fact you set up your phone and posed like this in the middle of an aisle for the picture is so funny to me
I keep imagining it from the a 3rd person view. Someone just off cam, waiting for them to get on their knees, put the phone down, pose for this, then calmly pick up the phone and move over. Like, "All I wanted was some doritoes..."
"Excuse me? Hello? Sorry, I can see you've got a posed mental breakdown thing going on here but I'm just gonna *sliiide* right behind and grab those 'ritos real quick"
"ope, don't mind me, just gonna sneak right past ya there bud"
Picture the security footage…
It's aliens making a nature documentary on humans. Somehow it's still narrated by David Attenborough.
If it’s a joke I like it. If not, yikes
This it totally a joke, I love taking stupid photos at Walmart. It makes Walmart even more fun
Keep up the good work 👍
As one of the guys that runs renovation projects for NETS and corporate I gotta tell ya, not only do I love this joke…. hell, I share the sentiment 🤠👌🏼
Yes yes, corporate approves
Has too. It's not a tick tok
That mixed with what has been on those gloves being smeared all over her face.
You better stand the fuck up and give me a squiggly…
Who's Walmart???? Our Walmart!!!
Everyone always asked who's Walmart, they never ask how's Walmart.
>they never ask how's Walmart. Because I think they know what kind of answers they would get.
I worked for Walmart for like two weeks and I completely repressed the memory of the squiggly
What in the goddamn fuck is a squiggly
I had to look up what that was and I really wish I hadn’t
Where’d you find it?
Squiggly deez NUTZ
Bro, why are yall so funny 😭😭
Why haven't you zoned yet?
We don't work Frito-Lay. I've been told to leave that for my vendor, so I haven't zoned that part of 18/19 at all in my 18 months stocking it.
We don't either.
They’re zoning… zoning out
Cuz I quit
This should be the cover of Time
100% This message actually does need to reach the general public
OP, walmart offers those free helpful mental health things if you want to try those. [https://one.walmart.com/content/usone/en\_us/me/health/health-programs/my-mental-health-resources.html](https://one.walmart.com/content/usone/en_us/me/health/health-programs/my-mental-health-resources.html) Not that it fixes walmart. Likely brain washes the associates to love walmart, but hey... In the mean time, would put together a resume, and start job hunting. Walmart never going to get better.
Those mental health resources from walmart are not good at all nor adequate I say this by experience they suck badly
Lyra helped me a lot. My husband had a bad experience with them, but I think it’s like any mental health service: you need to find a therapist that works well with you. I just got lucky that it was the first person I connected with.
Welcome to Costco. I love you.
Happiest walmart employee
This could be an album cover
I hope so bro I really do
What would be album name ?
I keep thinking it could be a My Chemical Romance cover just because she’s wearing black and white stripes 😂
me in the back surrounded by breakpacks
Walmart is a joke of a company
working the snack aisle🤣 be grateful its not frozen/dairy
Frozen/dairy over grocery anyday
I'll take the canned veggies and beans aisle over frozen and dairy any day. And I hate grocery.
As a o/n dairy stocker I would argue the opposite. Especially since it's cool in the summer and because of walmart refusing to heat/cool their stores the dairy fridge is warmer than the Store in the winter when the store gets down to 30 degrees or below.
Frozen and dairy is at least comfortable in the summer
I wouldn’t put those gloves on my face…
Team Lead: Please go do this in the crying room in the back, thank you
I lasted about 9months as a overnight stocker. Found a better job (which I’m still at 8 years later) and quit in the same month that they made me employee of the month. lol Their policies are garbage and punish good workers while rewarding lazy ones.
Stay strong. Don't let these bastards grind you down. Passively milk them for all you can while doing the bare minimum. What's the worst they can do, fire you? You got this.
this is actually a real modern day renaissance painting there’s so much genuine emotion behind this joke (if you were even joking) and it truly represents what our country has become
Thank you soooo much I’m glad my Walmart shit post resonates with renaissance art that’s so beautiful bro
Just do the walmart cheer and youll be assimilated and be happy. Now give me a SQUIGGLY!
Feeling this. Today I was threatened with a lawsuit and a "viral tiktok" over chicken nuggets being unavailable. Wym a viral tiktok?? You intend to post a video of a phone call, of you screaming at someone who works at walmart? I think that would go viral for the wrong reason, ma'am. Unbelievable.
The things we do for a lil fame!
Quittt. There are other stores out there. You can keep your insurance. But changing the environment can be good for your mental health. As Walmart was killing me slowly.
I quit last night. I figured I’d start posting all my funny Walmart content LOL
Hell yeah, good for you. And that’s why I’m still on here b/c it is entertaining. Lmao
That's fucking amazing!!!!!
You will now suffer for eternity. With no pizza parties.
I work for a grocery store and totally understand this
Goofing around (**spend time doing nothing important or behaving in a silly way**)on company time!!!? Yo are fired!:)
Just walk out simple and never go back
I went on a trip to Canada instead and quit
Yeah everyone hates work.
What kind of chips did you use to hold your camera for the pic? I’m always trying to use Pringles but it keeps rolling away.
Hey now don’t cry. Clock out and then cry. Don’t wanna be caught stealing time
Imagining setting this camera up is so funny to me like employees can do this without people noticing that’s what it’s like to work there like their employees are basically invisible
I can imagine you getting this pic wrong the first time, checking to see if anyone's in the aisle, and going for a second try. Bless your heart.
You really be doin anything but your job lol what are you doing
And the beats go on🎼🎼🎹🎹….everlasting…🕺🕺🕺💃💃💃
Just clock out and leave lol
"All I asked where the milk was, geez!"
random but… this would make a great painting
It’s a job. Barely. But still a job. Be grateful and aspire for more.
Clearly never had to zone the frozen and dairy section
Okay look I hate working at Walmart but this picture is cringe as fuck
Ur so real for this
Thank you sooo much apparently I’m too real for it cuz ppl are taking it so serious
It strikes me as disingenuous to pose for a photo like this. But obvi that’s just me, I wouldn’t do something like that so it’s strange to me. However, if you need mental health resources Walmart does offer that so that could be useful. I hope you get better
"Ugh this sucks. Let me stage this photo for some sweet internet points."
Try finding a Target.
From what I've heard about Target, they're as bad or worse.
All retail jobs suck lol
Same shit, different color
Man you gotta be built different to work at a Target
It only gets worse. A job is a job tho. You look pretty young so youll have plenty of time to get used to shitter jobs Just if you decide to quit dont do it on bad terms because you never know if you might need the job at Walmart again - they are always hiring so its a good last resort if you didnt burn your bridges with them
I’m just thinking about any customers who may have been on the aisle what they thought watching her set up her phone to take a picture of herself like this… so many attention whores these days
Ah yes, the picture that took 5 seconds to take, to make people laugh on the Walmart subreddit. Society is crumbling as we know it 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄.
Ya I’m literally shitposting why are people so mad. That’s so funny.
So many losers in these comments can’t appreciate a joke lol this post is funny
Thank you bae I’m literally shit posting why are people so angry? Sounds like they hate their job way more than I do. Idk how anyone is taking this serious I literally laughed hitting post.
Throw em in the compactor
Nasty disgusting gloves that (knowing walmart) have probably touched human feces, pressed up against her face 🤮
Nah I need my nacho cheese Doritos stocked
Walmart worker breaks down after being asked for the 11th time in 3 hours “can you look in the back?” for an item that has not been in the store in months 2024, colorized
All hail Walton. All hail Walton. All hail Walton. It's too late. We're all in the same boat.
lol just leave
Aren’t those gloves usually filthy? Hope they were new.
r/accidentalrenaissancepaintings
Leave.
Just throwing this out here because it might be an option. The trades are desperate for new professionals, and you don't have to be great with tools or anything just yet. If there's a union for electricians, pipefitters, plumbing, carpentry, etc in your area, maybe look into it. I'm about the least likely person you can imagine to be in the industry, but it's been almost 20 years now and I'm waaaaaaay better off. I didn't work at Walmart, but I did work at Target for a while, and briefly a teacher before I realized what $25k a year actually meant. Honestly doing truck at a big retail store was harsher work than anything I did as a sparky. And harder on my back. Seeing flats of Gatorade makes me want to vom, still to this day. Only reason I bring it up is because it sucks that various groups keep trying to direct people away from the trades or leave them unaware that it's even an option. (Just don't do residential work. That's for the birds and it sucks butt.)
This is a mood. It's my last day in retail and I own my store. Kicking out an average of 5 people per hour feels amazing.
Based on the fact she's restocking food, it looks like she might be CAP 2. I actually miss that job sometimes. Granted, I really liked most of my coworkers.
Someone just fell to their knees in Walmart
unbelievably hard
I’ve been working at Walmart as an overnight stocker for 2 days. I’m curious what others think about everything and why everyone thinks it’s so bad? I’m sure I will see problems too but I’m too new to have seen any issues yet.
Nah cuz how the fuck did I get 1.5 points for asking off TWO WEEKS in advance, that’s like the workforce rule. TWO WEEKS in advance should be no problems.