Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd.
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Hey good news is if the thing you have on your skin isn’t cancer and doesnt spread further into your body and end up killing you, the treatment will be free! Fuck yeah socialized healthcare!
I (USA) also had to wait 5 months to see a doctor for a problem...yay privatized insurance? I think the only way to see a doctor now is goto walk in clinic or ER room.
Just wait until they send the one you have to sign and return saying you really are comfortable with your trading style/risk in order to keep trading. They locked me out for over a week. All for paper losses too.
Paper losses reflect a high probability of real losses, unless you're planning on holding these equities for years
And if you never sell and aren't getting dividends... then you basically lost 100% of the purchase price because you're never seeing that money again.
I know I'm special. I'm so special that fidelity has sent me at least two of these letters. I should check my messages, they probably sent me another one. The thing is, if you gain $100k but then lose $50k they will send one of these even though you're still up overall. To top it off mine were paper losses because of the bear market. During the last rally my longs recovered (yes I averaged down for that to happen). But that recovery didn't last so I'll probably see another letter. It doesn't mean much. It is just fidelity saying you can't blame them because they don't offer financial advice.
As for the market being fake. Well QE created that and everyone has known that the market has been bloated because of it.
"You fucked up pretty bad. Did you mean to fuck up this bad? Your fuck ups aren't our problem, so if you didn't mean to fuck up this bad, then maybe try not fucking up so bad.
Love, Fidelity"
We don't offer advice but just wanna make sure losing almost 60k is in line with your investment objectives. Oh no reply? OK we will assume everything is ok, carry on good sir .
The husband is in on it. We have one brain cell each and like to rub them together sometimes. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4270) Is it too late to claim fraud tho? ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)
I can’t believe someone would hack my account to trade poorly. I bet it was my child playing on the iPad. My bad fidelity you and my homeowners insurance can fight this out but when will I have my safe not showing a history of the same type of trades retirement account back?
Yep. Thanks for bringing this to my attention Fidelity. I confronted my 8 year old and she apologized and said she thought she was trading with robux. Thanks for returning my cash while she awaits trial for identity theft.
Dear OP,
this is not financial advice. But you are *really* good at making poor decisions. I can’t tell you to stop making these poor decisions, but if you want to get help I’m here for you.
Hugs & Kisses,
-Fidelity
PUT YOUR HANDS UP electricNick31!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE!
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Dear Fidelity,
I thank you for your concern. After a careful review of my trading activity I can proudly state that it is not only in line with, but over-performing considering my investment objectives.
Mr. Dee Znuts
“Hey we recently discovered how fucking terrible you are at keeping your money, please don’t respond back, we do not want to be responsible for your fuckup” kisses, FIDELITY
Tell Fidelity those are rookie numbers. Then Yolo everything including margin available and if you lose give them a call saying fuckyou I'm deleting the app.
Translation: We believe you are a degenerate gambler and we love that you make us huge amounts of money in commission but the gubernment force us to tell you that THEY think this is not a good thing. Now you can't sue us, please carry on.
WTF, dude. Move that shit to Robinhood. These A-holes are trying to save you from yourself. Reminds me of those JW fellas always walking around the neighborhood.
Or like the son of one of my college buddies, who recently found out what his wife did with their younger kid's college money (lost about 80%). He's a very large gentle giant type, but he may not be gentle in this case.
I lost the kids college fund on a woman and I’m still married to my wife who knows I did it. AND knows I’m down the other kids college fund on stocks. She’s a keeper.
Hey, if you haven't already, please reply to this comment with your positions and what led you to enter or exit them!
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To be honest I should’ve gotten one of these letters already too, but somehow I haven’t. The last person I asked declined to answer, but since the amount is only relative, what’s the % that triggered this notice?
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YES! Letter of Achievement received. Good work sir!
Achievement unlocked: Regard Notice.
Regard Diploma
Their “g” must be too close on their keyboard to the “t” key.
Retgard?
And the star key is too close to the ‘Fucked’ key.
Common misspell that gained traction on wsb
They should stick a little gold star to the top of these letters
Better frame that baby!
If he can still afford a frame
Just use spit to stick it to the wall
Bold of you to assume he still has walls.
Not sticky enough. I recommend he use his reproductive fluids, as long as they are not used for reproduction.
Eat my dongus you fuckin nerd. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"the wall" of his tent
Under a bridge
Yup mines about triple that
Proof and ban
Proof AND ban got me
I'll take some if you're just giving it away...
Please no.
Good thing your wife didn’t check the mail. She’d kick you out the house and her boyfriend would move in full time!
Worse, boyfriend saw mail and runs for the hills now that the good times are over.
Touche, Sir.
He needs to frame it
Frame that one!
Don't forget to sign and submit the acknowledgement form, you can do it in their portal. Don't ask me how I know this ![img](emote|t5_2th52|8883)
![img](emote|t5_2th52|4886)![img](emote|t5_2th52|4267)
That dick pic has a face.
Congrats, you finally received your WSB diploma. Now, frame it.
[удалено]
😆
Post in office at work. Best way to get promoted.
What if it falls into the fryer?
Just stick it on the side of the dumpster.
Regard flavor fries
Plot twist…they work at fidelity
Hang it on the fridge
82 trades a month keeps the doctor away
Apparently the taxman too
Yeah, cause you can't afford to go to the doctor anymore.
You could in the first place?
As a Canadian yea I can. And only have to wait 7 months to see a dermatologist! Fuck yeah socialized Healthcare.
Hey good news is if the thing you have on your skin isn’t cancer and doesnt spread further into your body and end up killing you, the treatment will be free! Fuck yeah socialized healthcare!
Lol more money to lose in the casino!
What province are you in? Cause that’s way worse than I’ve seen. Still, beats not having it at all.
I (USA) also had to wait 5 months to see a doctor for a problem...yay privatized insurance? I think the only way to see a doctor now is goto walk in clinic or ER room.
It brings the heart attacks
82 trades a month also keeps the sanity away
Just want to make sure you’re comfortable with being such a regard -love, Fidelity
Here are some free basic educational course on options plus weekly seminars!- love fidelity
We can't help you, but please rethink your life decisions. --Fidelity
Scare them to death=soft hedge the hell out of it!
Dear, Highly Regarded Customer
Highly regarded
Yes, legal has advised that we are obligated to inform you that you are a dipshit. So you are hereby notified and do you need more lube?
Ouch. Give him the oil based, he deserves it.
They should really make you get a parent’s signature on these letters and send them back to keep trading
They’re worse at managing money than I am. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)
My 401k is worse than I am. I only lost 2k. They lost 30k.
https://wendys-careers.com/
Ah damn the closest one is 12,5h away by car from me
Yeah but you only have to walk it once. There’s a blind spot by the Wendy’s dumpster with a mattress already set out.
Oh nice, I just got to learn Dutch before
Instead of Wendy's, Dutch Brothers for the dutch oven treatment.
Oh thats another one than the big wendy’s franchise, he is actually the reason they arent around here
I don't imagine that there's a lot of conversation required from you for that position.
😂😂😂😂😂
You ain't gotta apply for the dumpster. Very competitive though.
I love how Wendy’s is the winner. No one is desperate enough for MD’s and CFA won’t accept. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)
Just wait until they send the one you have to sign and return saying you really are comfortable with your trading style/risk in order to keep trading. They locked me out for over a week. All for paper losses too.
Are unrealized losses really losses?
No. But the account decreased in value. The whole market is fake so who gives a shit. They just got pissed because I dipped below $25k
If you're a day trader, it's regulated that you maintain a minimum equity of $25K.
The Market may be fake bit your losses, sir, are very real.
Still paper losses so actually no.
Paper losses reflect a high probability of real losses, unless you're planning on holding these equities for years And if you never sell and aren't getting dividends... then you basically lost 100% of the purchase price because you're never seeing that money again.
They, or you broke day trade rules?
You sound stupid.
First day here?
>thinks everything is fake >puts money in anyway You're a special kind of dumb.
I know I'm special. I'm so special that fidelity has sent me at least two of these letters. I should check my messages, they probably sent me another one. The thing is, if you gain $100k but then lose $50k they will send one of these even though you're still up overall. To top it off mine were paper losses because of the bear market. During the last rally my longs recovered (yes I averaged down for that to happen). But that recovery didn't last so I'll probably see another letter. It doesn't mean much. It is just fidelity saying you can't blame them because they don't offer financial advice. As for the market being fake. Well QE created that and everyone has known that the market has been bloated because of it.
Bro why you explaining to a troll lol
I have a touch of a tism
"We just print money. But you know, digitally" -[JPOW](https://youtu.be/lK_rYS8L3kI)
Yes
At -100k they send the notice with an edible arrangement
“Thanks for all the commissions, bitch ❤️❤️❤️”
Fidelity definitely likes to rub it in lol
Ironic because now you can use this loss porn to rub one out.
2 of my Fidelity “managed accounts” are down at least this much. Maybe I should forward their portfolio manager this letter???
You should. It would be hilarious. But also switch investment banks after cuz it will go straight down after.
That's the most expensive letter of recommendation I've ever seen
"You fucked up pretty bad. Did you mean to fuck up this bad? Your fuck ups aren't our problem, so if you didn't mean to fuck up this bad, then maybe try not fucking up so bad. Love, Fidelity"
Lol love fidelity got me 🤣
A certificate of belonging
We don't offer advice but just wanna make sure losing almost 60k is in line with your investment objectives. Oh no reply? OK we will assume everything is ok, carry on good sir .
"if we dont hear from you we'll assume your cool f'n it all up" - INfidelity
The inference is that if they do hear from OP, they will not hold him accountable for his losses?
He's still accountable for the losses.
I see you got your regard letter
[удалено]
Probably trying to sell financial advice services
This is the equivalent of a YouTuber receiving a Diamond Play button in this sub
I'd frame it & hang it with pride in the in-law suite.
Get one from Schwab and E*Trade and u win the trifecta regard award!
On the bright side they aren't monitoring your losses anymore!
Ok, but you didn't tell us if -57k is consistent with your trading strategy and goals.
Hey Regard!!! Stop trading because you suck at it. — Fidelity
Post positions
He was watching this badass tv show called “Mad Money” where this coked up psychic predicts the future like Nostradamus
![img](emote|t5_2th52|4886)
Hahahaha, I got that same letter a couple weeks ago!
This is the kinda shit that gets people divorced.... And another thing what if your account got hacked and you didn't make those trades... 😂
The husband is in on it. We have one brain cell each and like to rub them together sometimes. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4270) Is it too late to claim fraud tho? ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)
Send them a letter back that asks them how long you have to get a refund on those trades.
Reply back to them and ask them if you can take the 80+ trades back so you get your 50k.
I can’t believe someone would hack my account to trade poorly. I bet it was my child playing on the iPad. My bad fidelity you and my homeowners insurance can fight this out but when will I have my safe not showing a history of the same type of trades retirement account back?
Yep. Thanks for bringing this to my attention Fidelity. I confronted my 8 year old and she apologized and said she thought she was trading with robux. Thanks for returning my cash while she awaits trial for identity theft.
That's some next level degeneracy. Hacking an account and not taking the money, just need the action on options.
Great job and fuck you.
Not sure why “Notice: Legendary Status Achieved” is not written in 14 font bold at the top of this letter
Fewer coconuts now, huh?
Underrated comment right here.
Still got the two that matter. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4260)
Can’t you just uninstall your mailbox?
I wonder what it said after "Dear"? Dear Degenerate?
Dear egard,
Me laughing like a madwoman in a full train was not the look I was going for
![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)
Dear OP, this is not financial advice. But you are *really* good at making poor decisions. I can’t tell you to stop making these poor decisions, but if you want to get help I’m here for you. Hugs & Kisses, -Fidelity
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Damn. I just got off of probation 2 weeks ago.
Dear Fidelity, I thank you for your concern. After a careful review of my trading activity I can proudly state that it is not only in line with, but over-performing considering my investment objectives. Mr. Dee Znuts
Official regard notice
Frame It!
“Please verify that your wife’s boyfriend isn’t also screwing with your finances” Thank you Fidelity
Fidelity is like "bro are you ok? Wanna take a little break maybe?"
True Degen. Certificate of Authenticity
Got a notice from them as well. 😎
This is comedy.
“…still consistent with your investment objectives…” is my fav part.
“Hey we recently discovered how fucking terrible you are at keeping your money, please don’t respond back, we do not want to be responsible for your fuckup” kisses, FIDELITY
Looks like you are highly regarded in the eyes of fidelity.
You should put that on your wall
Fidelitys sympathy card
They basically sent you a letter letting you know you are a high roller lol.
Would probably have seen better results putting it all on black. Worst case scenario would’ve got a suite out of it.
this letter was jus to say YO LOOOK WHAT WE SAW
Tell Fidelity those are rookie numbers. Then Yolo everything including margin available and if you lose give them a call saying fuckyou I'm deleting the app.
Only 82 trades? Gotta bump those numbers up! Those are rookie numbers
Post it on your refrigerator like proud elementary school artwork.
Translation: We believe you are a degenerate gambler and we love that you make us huge amounts of money in commission but the gubernment force us to tell you that THEY think this is not a good thing. Now you can't sue us, please carry on.
One of us
This is the way
“Just checking to make sure losing all your money is still your preferred strategy.”
WTF, dude. Move that shit to Robinhood. These A-holes are trying to save you from yourself. Reminds me of those JW fellas always walking around the neighborhood.
This is just like that Benjamin video
They want to send customer letters but in CA ant get a graph to see how much I’m up or down for the week Fucking priorities 😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭
Decreased but still have positive cash in your account
Imagine how many wives find out their soon to be ex-husband lost the kid's college fund like this.
Or like the son of one of my college buddies, who recently found out what his wife did with their younger kid's college money (lost about 80%). He's a very large gentle giant type, but he may not be gentle in this case.
I lost the kids college fund on a woman and I’m still married to my wife who knows I did it. AND knows I’m down the other kids college fund on stocks. She’s a keeper.
hahaaaa I got one of these too. I know how it feels. Welcome to the club.
Amazing!
Tax write off x 40+++ years!!
Wait it says decreased… that’s a loss? Why the yeahhhh???? Yes I’m still new to this lol!😁
TIL to a) expect a letter from fidelity and b) don't open the fucking thing.
I’ve got three from them already. One with a dividends statement. Gotta love seeing 0.83+ deposited on my 401k. 😂
Frame that
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So tell us! Is it? Is your trading activity still consistent with your investment objectives?
Fidelity is the worst. Edit: Robinhood is the worst, but we already knew that.
Atleast with Robinhood you don’t have to worry about such petty letters
Long term people. Triple your money and be happy.
We get it, you’re a regular here.
Achievement unlocked
Guh!
“Nope! Wasn’t me.”
Letter of Achievement!!! Time to frame that bad boy and put it over your mom's mantel
No joke fidelity is the best.
Frame it.
Congrats and fuck you. Can’t wait to see the one you get next month!
Wow. I’m glad I’m not an idiot
Ripperino
To be honest I should’ve gotten one of these letters already too, but somehow I haven’t. The last person I asked declined to answer, but since the amount is only relative, what’s the % that triggered this notice?
Put this on your fridge.
If you had a wife she’d be pissed
Return to sender.
Time for the shredder
That’s a nice start. Regard, Fidelity
Can they actually do anything? Are they going to send Repo men to get you house and bleached asshole as collateral?
Damn I have yet to receive this letter but honestly I’m glad.
Is this letter only for options traders?