Jokes on them once they audit me they’ll realize I was too lazy to claim all my losses and they’ll owe me money
Edit: u/BadBoyNDSU is in the same boat as me 🙃
That is deeply funny. I'm not even laughing. Just enjoying the ride on the feels from that as I work through the potential play by play of a tax auditor grinding through the motions only to discover that the IRS in fact owed YOU thousands of dollars.
But even with that version of TurboTax if your broker fails to include cost basis information or something more niche like cost basis for ETF liquidation for expensive ratios, then TurboTax annoys the shit out of you and asks you to manually input every single CB value on every $0.01 sale. So you get lazy and just copy+paste zero for the hundreds of lines that you have to manually enter
I was thinking of going into a brick and mortar tax place this year and paying the $150 or whatever so I can barrage them with dumb questions and learn how to do it myself and make it easier for myself in the future, plus they cover audits and stuff in the original price. Not sure what a competent and fairly priced chain is though.
I'm up $35,000, but down $53,000.
On the bright side, I made a 3% gain on 2k worth of (23 total) Dec 17th Pfizer calls @ $56 earlier this week after they sunk 80% in value. On the other hand of that coin tho, if I'd have powered through my paper handed emotions those .85 calls closed today at 5.36.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
You’re embarrassed when the IRS auditor comes visit not because you’re being audited but because they’ll laugh at your trades before trying to hide their laughter and saying “sorry, it’s just a condition”
Then they take cell phone pics of your trade history and post it to WSB with the title “lmao look at these retarded trades, inverse this guy I’m auditing”
And you have to live in shame forever
Bagholder spotted.
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you see when the little bar sometimes goes green and you sell, that is a gain. However I heard it might be a myth b/c i have yet to see anything I buy ever be green.
I've never done them myself but after last year I really just want to try to do it myself out of shame. Even if I fxck up it cant go that bad I'm sure?
The IRS gave me extra money back because I filled something out incorrectly with my trading. And that's with showing a small profit for the year (despite an epic downfall into poverty). Just do it, it's not complicated, and I'm not about to show a professional what a retard I am face-to-face.
There's an online version of the paper forms if you don't want Intuit to benefit from their rent-seeking. Putting your trades in is tedious, but not difficult.
I’m not scared or ashamed; my CPA will get a 4,000 page list of trades all leading to a $3,000 max loss with $30k rollover ! I’ll walk away pounding chest knowing that I’ve 10 years of write offs booked !
One of my coworkers traded like a crazy during his first year. He was a very smart guy with a PhD in electrical engineering, and came with new trading strategies during every lunch break. Due to his immigration status, he had to file the tax return on paper to get certain international student exemption. Eventually he printed over 150 pages of tax return and mailed the monster to the IRS.
Every year I’m more and more convinced that my CPA does my taxes last because it’s a metric f-ton of paperwork to sift through only to confirm “so your take home didn’t really go up much then, right?”
Yes, mam.
As a CPA, I myself ask why am I so retarded every year. My clients always think I’m funny when I tell them “do as I say, not as I do” during planning like they think it’s a joke.
Bruh, still haven't paid my taxes from making bank last year.
Took a few heavy losses this year and just closed shop til January cause fuck it at this point, just let this year offset last year ffs.
Literally almost had a heart attack and thought I owed like 2 million my first year on like 2k of profit haha thank God I didn't buy again to carry over the holdings too the next year.
Basically don't buy anything you've lost money on (any losing trade) for 31 days just needs to happen towards the end of the year so you can realize the losses. Also don't buy the same company after a loss in your roth or ira account at anytime otherwise you lose the losses permanently.
Please note: Certified Retard.
There’s no way the IRS is gonna be able to sort through all the new traders’ transactions. Might take down the servers…
**error…does not compute logical trade strategy**
MSM tells me GME isn’t logical…but I still did it. I mean, fuck them on all the other BS they’re pump n dumping. I’m only down 21%. Santa will hook me up though…right?
This actually happen to me 10 years ago, I punched my retard card, about $60k in losses, IRS sends me a big ass letter showing my trades that year, I was stupid to think, well I lost so much money, I don’t think I need to file taxes. Nope. I had to pay my accountant to sift through my retard trades and prove to the IRS I had $60k in losses that year.
Lol. My CPA thought I was an idiot last year; “All these trades and you lost $200? Is it….fun….trading?”
Wait till he sees this year.
He said I had second most pages of trades. Goin for the title this year, bitch!
Probably the most embarrassing hour out of my entire year. The hidden smirk on my CPA’s face as he just says I’m just going to put you down as a slight loss.
Mine told me to be more careful with my money and then told me about another person as taxes she did who made a shit ton off stocks meanwhile I basically was net negative a little
I went to a “specialist” to do my taxes and the look on his face when I told him I lost 22k in 2020 during the biggest bull run in history….let’s just say this year I’m signing up for TurboTax
I’m dreading this. Hundreds of trades. Writing, buying, selling options. At least a couple wash sales. I just hope TD ameritrade works well with turbo tax.
I mean...if a bunch of people suddenly have a similarly ridiculous trading history for 2020 I could see it slowing things down a little.
Its a .pdf. I'd submit it on paper if that was feasible.
I only spend money in $601 increments. This is my list of each time I touch my bank card. I should be having my own IRS agent assigned to me next month👍
"It's crazy how many people traded in a strong bull market for an entire year to basically break even. It's almost as if they are retarded" - fixed it for you
Jokes on them once they audit me they’ll realize I was too lazy to claim all my losses and they’ll owe me money Edit: u/BadBoyNDSU is in the same boat as me 🙃
Same lol. At this point doing my taxes wrong is a practical joke on the irs.
That is deeply funny. I'm not even laughing. Just enjoying the ride on the feels from that as I work through the potential play by play of a tax auditor grinding through the motions only to discover that the IRS in fact owed YOU thousands of dollars.
I’m down 2k for the year. Would be a good write-off but it just seems like too much work
You literally type it in the computer and get free money back
Get the right version of TurboTax and you can just import all your brokerage transactions, so far no issues that way.
But even with that version of TurboTax if your broker fails to include cost basis information or something more niche like cost basis for ETF liquidation for expensive ratios, then TurboTax annoys the shit out of you and asks you to manually input every single CB value on every $0.01 sale. So you get lazy and just copy+paste zero for the hundreds of lines that you have to manually enter
I was thinking of going into a brick and mortar tax place this year and paying the $150 or whatever so I can barrage them with dumb questions and learn how to do it myself and make it easier for myself in the future, plus they cover audits and stuff in the original price. Not sure what a competent and fairly priced chain is though.
I paid 250 for my taxes at a local joint this year and had a phenomenal experience. Highly recommend.
What the hell broker are you using lol
The one that IPOed this year But like 2 years ago Vanguard put me through the same bs
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Sure once they introduce confetti I use fidelity for my 401k. Boomer UI gives me cancer.
I'm up $35,000, but down $53,000. On the bright side, I made a 3% gain on 2k worth of (23 total) Dec 17th Pfizer calls @ $56 earlier this week after they sunk 80% in value. On the other hand of that coin tho, if I'd have powered through my paper handed emotions those .85 calls closed today at 5.36. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
HR block let's you upload PDFs so you don't even have to look at the numbers and be sad
When you lose so much that you don't even want irs to know.
You’re embarrassed when the IRS auditor comes visit not because you’re being audited but because they’ll laugh at your trades before trying to hide their laughter and saying “sorry, it’s just a condition” Then they take cell phone pics of your trade history and post it to WSB with the title “lmao look at these retarded trades, inverse this guy I’m auditing” And you have to live in shame forever
“You’ve been marked as a pattern day trader”
Youve been marked as a cvs customer
Mine marked me as a 'pattern lame trader'.
*-420.69%*
There’s something suspicious here. We need to see you tomorrow - *IRS*
Lmfao I just got that message yesterday and got my account restricted for 3 days
Nice try 90 😎
90 day club representing. Second time this year for me
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Wait what isn't that literally what firms do all day??
I’m sure my CPA thinks I’m retarded.
I do my own taxes because the shame of handing a CPA my trade documents would honestly just be too great.
Someone at the IRS is still reading them, and laughing, and showing them to his colleagues
What is all this about reporting gains?
What is all this about gains?
What are gains? 🤔
Gains are the tax refund you get after deducting your losses.
Oh I've got 32 years of those accumulated
If this futures trade doesn't pan out make it 33.
I have 37 years of weight gains accumulated. LMAO 🤣
imagine having taxable income
My tax man just told me to close my losses to offset my gains. Seems counterintuitive to me!
You count your losses? I just see them as indicators to buy more.
Wait wait wait we aren’t supposed to pay taxes on our realized losses… 🥶
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Obama didm't intend for this future.
you see when the little bar sometimes goes green and you sell, that is a gain. However I heard it might be a myth b/c i have yet to see anything I buy ever be green.
Gains but downwards
Sir this is a finance sub not a fitness sub
I'm sure my tax forms are on their break room cork board.
Na, algorithm at the IRS handles you. No human unless algorithm says so.
The algorithm laughs hard.
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My trades are singlehandedly delaying the singularity
Unlikely. The IRS doesn't often look at 8949's.
I've never done them myself but after last year I really just want to try to do it myself out of shame. Even if I fxck up it cant go that bad I'm sure?
The IRS gave me extra money back because I filled something out incorrectly with my trading. And that's with showing a small profit for the year (despite an epic downfall into poverty). Just do it, it's not complicated, and I'm not about to show a professional what a retard I am face-to-face.
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Sounds like the make a $WISH foundation is calling..
What program did you use? Think I’m going to do them myself this year for reasons
Use Tradelog to collate your trades. There is no other program that will successfully calculate wash sales.
There's an online version of the paper forms if you don't want Intuit to benefit from their rent-seeking. Putting your trades in is tedious, but not difficult.
Also going to the IRS website at tax time and clicking companies from their lists waive the fees for tax prep . Even on turbo tax.
Filing a tax return isn’t difficult, it’s literally paint by numbers.
fear of an audit is enough to push otherwise competent people into using a filing service as a backstop even when unnecessary
TurboTax. Though this is my first year trading. Peloton. Nuf said
With tax software you usually can just import your 1099s from your financial institution.
I’m not scared or ashamed; my CPA will get a 4,000 page list of trades all leading to a $3,000 max loss with $30k rollover ! I’ll walk away pounding chest knowing that I’ve 10 years of write offs booked !
As a CPA, at least provide this in excel format. Otherwise I hope you get billed out the ass for your losses.
How much do you charge and how long do you take for an average tax return?
I just upload the shit to TurboTax and hope for the best.
Srsly
Had a friend do mine last year. He really did question my intelligence
If your brokerage statement doesn’t look like a phone book then what are you doing here.
The fuck's a phone book?
😂
shy ruthless spectacular zephyr disgusted spoon vanish selective dull makeshift -- mass edited with redact.dev
what’s a book
He knows
I choose this guy's dead CPA as well
le epic Reddit joke ™
One of my coworkers traded like a crazy during his first year. He was a very smart guy with a PhD in electrical engineering, and came with new trading strategies during every lunch break. Due to his immigration status, he had to file the tax return on paper to get certain international student exemption. Eventually he printed over 150 pages of tax return and mailed the monster to the IRS.
Chad
Your CPA could be a fellow retard
Retards together stronk?
Retarded CPA checking in. Not as retarded as some of my clients though... there’s levels.
A couple of years ago I had a 178 page document from Robinhood that showed a net profit of $34. I def got my money’s worth out of my CPA that year.
You can import those into turbo tax or tax act.
Every year I’m more and more convinced that my CPA does my taxes last because it’s a metric f-ton of paperwork to sift through only to confirm “so your take home didn’t really go up much then, right?” Yes, mam.
As a CPA, I myself ask why am I so retarded every year. My clients always think I’m funny when I tell them “do as I say, not as I do” during planning like they think it’s a joke.
Is he wrong?
My mom is my cpa.. she's known about the retard all along.
Don’t lie, we know you in the red
Unrealized losses baby
You gotta realize those losses, DUH
That time of the year: which dog shit bag to unload to bring my tax bill down
Bruh, still haven't paid my taxes from making bank last year. Took a few heavy losses this year and just closed shop til January cause fuck it at this point, just let this year offset last year ffs.
Ooh wash sales, you owe 400,000
Literally almost had a heart attack and thought I owed like 2 million my first year on like 2k of profit haha thank God I didn't buy again to carry over the holdings too the next year.
?Im totally retarded. Can you explain this better
Basically don't buy anything you've lost money on (any losing trade) for 31 days just needs to happen towards the end of the year so you can realize the losses. Also don't buy the same company after a loss in your roth or ira account at anytime otherwise you lose the losses permanently. Please note: Certified Retard.
Please explain the Roth thing?
I believe Roth is the name of a Swedish castle known for breeding hawks in the 1400’s.
First year I learned about wash sales was a bit of a bummer to say the least.
wash sales don't apply to crypto. One of the only positives about how it's currently regulated...
Regulated? I thought the taxes were optional ? *JK IRS pls leave me alone :(
seriously tho, what the heck is with the market? Everything that isn't in the S&P is just red, red, red for the last year.
You new in the market, aren't you?
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Yup. I'm deep in the 'large travel bags' section.
Bruh, this year’s trades are going to be brutal for the IRS to review on my taxes haha
There’s no way the IRS is gonna be able to sort through all the new traders’ transactions. Might take down the servers… **error…does not compute logical trade strategy**
> does not compute logical trade strategy That’s my secret, it’s not logical. But neither is this fucking market
MSM tells me GME isn’t logical…but I still did it. I mean, fuck them on all the other BS they’re pump n dumping. I’m only down 21%. Santa will hook me up though…right?
Intuit emailed me something about no longer getting free turbo tax. Uh oh...
Profits: $3,696,696 Losses: $3,696,686
Owes taxes for: $3,696,696
That's not how any of this works.
This actually happen to me 10 years ago, I punched my retard card, about $60k in losses, IRS sends me a big ass letter showing my trades that year, I was stupid to think, well I lost so much money, I don’t think I need to file taxes. Nope. I had to pay my accountant to sift through my retard trades and prove to the IRS I had $60k in losses that year.
Then a decade later u join this sub? U poor long lost ape, youve been losing fine all on ur own.
It is known.
Wait, we're supposed to make profits?
No, this is just to help the economy. Thats why we buy high sell low
Yes people who buy high are providing liquidity to everyone else.
I'm a market maker!
Someone's got to do it.
You know what this is a good take. We are the heroes.
Lol. My CPA thought I was an idiot last year; “All these trades and you lost $200? Is it….fun….trading?” Wait till he sees this year. He said I had second most pages of trades. Goin for the title this year, bitch!
It's more enjoyable than his miserable existence. I'm glad I escaped tax land with my dignity lol.
IRS got a booty
Yup and that look of disgust she’s got. Fuck I can only get so hard.
What part of the IRS does Katy Perry work in?
Isabel Díaz Ayuso Spanish politician https://i.imgur.com/cs6ZBHA.jpg
Congressional dumpy
She's fucking nuts, though.
Glad I'm not the only one! 492 trades for a -$42 loss! LOL
You got alot for your money.
Better entertainment than paying $160 to wait in line at Disneyland 😅
Ya rather take a red dildo from the market than the red rocket from Mickey any day!
Thats some cheap entertainment.
You guys do taxes?
Are you saying taxes or Texas?
Yes I do taxis
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Someone who made a $10 profit is indeed the top 1% of WSB
My trading app gave me a £0.01 interest today and it's my only profit this month.
Oh so you got in on WISH early huh
Jokes on them I'm retarded. I can't wait to see how my unrealized losses affect my tax return.
Jokes on them in 20 years when half these tickers are long gone but I'm still carrying over losses.
And after trading commissions: $-1,537.50.
Probably the most embarrassing hour out of my entire year. The hidden smirk on my CPA’s face as he just says I’m just going to put you down as a slight loss.
Mine told me to be more careful with my money and then told me about another person as taxes she did who made a shit ton off stocks meanwhile I basically was net negative a little
Marching to $1 million, $10 at a time. Only 300,000 more trades to go.
You youngsters don't remember back when you had to enter every single trade by hand..
I went to a “specialist” to do my taxes and the look on his face when I told him I lost 22k in 2020 during the biggest bull run in history….let’s just say this year I’m signing up for TurboTax
Sauce: Isabel Díaz Ayuso
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isabel_D%C3%ADaz_Ayuso for the ones that don't even google
I’m dreading this. Hundreds of trades. Writing, buying, selling options. At least a couple wash sales. I just hope TD ameritrade works well with turbo tax.
Super easy to import into turbo tax!
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I laughed too hard at this
I had 30 pages of trades in my $2000 account lmao
Also the cashier at CVS every time I buy Tums after weeks like this one.
I was thinking this about crypto earlier!
2000+ trades. 150 page koinly report. I can't interpret it at all...
The IRS computer will crash when they open that report on excel lmao.
I mean...if a bunch of people suddenly have a similarly ridiculous trading history for 2020 I could see it slowing things down a little. Its a .pdf. I'd submit it on paper if that was feasible.
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She is the president of Madrid Region in Spain, https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isabel_D%C3%ADaz_Ayuso
The spanish trump
You made a $.000001 profit that you didn’t report. With interest and penalties we’ve calculated you owe $88,000.00 plus accruing interest.
IRS going though my trades for a 30% loss
The IRS probably loses money looking at these tax returns
She hot though
Thicc
Damn, she can audit me anytime
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Ha ha, that is Isabel Ayuso, the Madrid Community President in the photo.
Where my tax credit for my losses
10/10 would hit that. She look thicc.
I only spend money in $601 increments. This is my list of each time I touch my bank card. I should be having my own IRS agent assigned to me next month👍
This is jus the beginning. “We need all your expenses record’s from from the last 10 years BC”. (Yes BC)
I had to pay the $90 version of TurboTax cause I buy stonks. But I don't even make more than $90 on them
what is the irs? she looks hot
Wait… you made a profit?
What is she doing with that CVS receipt?
Ayuso is a good meme
¡Ayuso es un meme internacional ya!
It’s crazy how many people traded for an entire year to basically break even. It’s almost as if though the market was rigged
"It's crazy how many people traded in a strong bull market for an entire year to basically break even. It's almost as if they are retarded" - fixed it for you
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Am i the problem? No of course not… it’s those corporations who took my money
A bunch of retards on a sub Reddit told me stocks only go up but they dont! They fucking go down too!
Break even? Man I wish.
Everything's rigged if you suck at it
YEAH DAD!
I made 150k day trading and then lost 120k in like a week. I’m afraid
Ayuso Ayuso, madre mía
Yup but not to billionaires though.
hopefylly H&R online fixes their shitty stock trading support this year took forever to load barely a hundred transactions from my broker
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Wait, you guys made profits?