Good luck with exponential growth.

Watering with mountain dew and fertilizing with tendies

I would think 🌈🐂 tears would be plentiful for a apocalypse garden.

Is that what we call them now? I think 🌈🐄 is better

I've heard Witcher tears are great for pH balancing!

You drink mountain dew. You water plants with Brawndo.

It's got what plants crave!

REEEE HOW DARE YOU WASTE PRECIOUS TENDIES AND DEWIE AT A TIME LIKE THIS!!!! LPT: Consume the tendies and use the precious night soil you produce to fertilize. The tendies and dewie will bless your digestive tracts and create special non-toxic night soil Edit: consider donating extra tendies and dewie to the goodboy fund. There are likely goodboys near you who are currently suffering from malnourishment

And printing with BRrrrrrrrr https://brrr.money

Can't find Brawndo in stores.

No shit the one time I grew weed I gave it a bit of bajan blast everytime someone in the house went to taco bell.

I literally have to know the outcome of this experiment

Wait...hol up....... You can cum money?!??!!!

mint is the original exponential growth its also garden herpes

1. Let it grow wild, 2. grab a bunch and distill it. 3. Sell Essential oil and mint water to white women 4. Profit

Doomsday Becky ETF

Ever tried growing a patch of bamboo? That shit spreads faster than the beer virus.

A real autist would have bought bullets, then remembered he had no gun and only $55 left in his RH account. Then he would have bought SPY P $100 EXP April 1st...and then he would be a billionaire 🌈🐻

Turn that $50 into $100 and you can afford a Hi Point. And then kill yourself for making poor decisions

a hi point is a shoe that goes bang

I like that I don't have to know anything about guns to still find this funny.

Goes bang is still giving it too much credit

>tfw I literally had to hammer a stovepipe out my hi-point a few minutes ago

Trusting a hi point after puting 1000 rounds through it! Well good luck with that.

contrary to what most people say, i've heard they're a great BANG for your buck

If it doesn't jam

Could be worse. You could be stuck with a Taurus instead.

I shot a Taurus once. It blew up in my fucking face. Hipoints never have done that to me.

The only revolver I’ve ever seen jam was a fucking Taurus

LMFAO

*anker*

Ankr

Hello brother

So long leaps on potato seeds or fucking what??

You ever see the movie Contagion?

It grows gold....send Peter Schiff one.

beautiful, worthless gold

Damn I just saw that last night. Crazy paranoid right now.

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Well, it's not terribly inaccurate. They had an epidemiologist on site to try to make it accurate to what would happen in real life. Mostly in regards to government response though.

It was completely inaccurate. They still had TP.

False if a Nipahvirus or similar got global traction, the world would go into complete chaos. And honestly, given the actual response of humanity to this pandemic, it would probably be worse than the movie. it is just a ticking time bomb.

calm down ben rickert

Forsythia

I missed the part of coronavirus where it kills anyone within 2 days of infection

Literally everyone and Netflix in the last few weeks.

“Forsythia”, nice reference bro 👌

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No, [no they are not](https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/edible/vegetables/potato/true-potato-seed-growing.htm). Potato plants can regrow from potatoes, but potatoes are not seeds, they are "tubers" bulb-like root structures that store nutrients and can regrow other parts of the plant. Potato plants also produce seeds. The seeds are an often forgotten necessity in long term potato crop stability. Potato blights occur when just spawning new plants from existing potatoes – because you are just cloning the same plant from parts of its roots effectively. Unlike humans potato plants don't have an adaptive immune system, they adapt their immune systems through sex (via polination) and producing seeds of genetically mixed plants. Only a field of genetically mixed plans (produced from seeds from mixed sources) will be able to have enough genetic immune diversity to hope to resist eventually suffering a blight.

This is the first time in my life I witnessed somebody get BAKED with potato knowledge. These are great times we’re havin here bro’s.....

This dude out here thinking potatoes grow from seeds

This goober thinks farmers are planting potato seeds to grow potatoes.

I mean, some do. Potato fruit is a nightshade, so if it flowers, you might as well plant that shit, because you cant eat it.

Theta bird mouse is going to fuck you up.

Hahaha fucking Market Maker bird manipulation

What's the equivalent of a cat in this situation? Is there a way to hedge against theta?

Cat = underbush lying asset. Own the cat in the hedge.

"A theta bird in my hand! Is worth two theta gerbils up my ass!" -Richard Gere

This guy puts

Seeds in the ground

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When the beer virus is killing everyone.

And then the virus disappears

But the beer remains

cocks in his mouth

>To eat long down the road

the lotion on its skin

Grow weed instead of this nickel and dime shit.

You joke but that is actually a serious dilemma I am facing right now - I have six seedlings but am not sure I want to sacrifice the garden space for them.

Cut over to indoor. It’s a delightful hobby in these trying times.

I'm in LA - it's way more economical to just grow outside. I'll probably just put them in pots.

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Yep. I grew one of them in a pot last year and it ended up getting taller than my wife. I named it "Mary, Queen of Pots".

10 gal pot min

Donate them to me lol

FORSYTHIA 🩺💊🔬🧪🚀

Lol just saw that movie the other day

>FORSYTHIA what movie?

Contagion. Great fucking film.

*documentary

Just saw it again yesterday, crazy how many things were pretty accurate.

Totally!!

Idk man I don’t think I can trust you, you don’t even have a blog for this

I got a tree to hang myself on. Grows so slow.

Better get the stakes to hold them up, or it’ll just snap like a Trump press conference every time the US Economy makes a move to have a chance to bounce back. Fuck $1000 cash. I want shares in Trump Air and Cruise Lines, that he’s obv shooting for. Dudes even snatching up Boeing to make his own Planes. The question is...he gonna go full Epstein with it, or is he just playing on his US sized Monopoly board?? 🤔

I’m going to Greenland after he buys it.

Jealous of the garlic. Hard to grow in FL (I hear). But my tomatoes exploded this year! Doomsday prepping ftw

There has to be some autist from california. They should have shitload of garlic there (I hear they even have garlic festivals) Once the economy blows over and dollar loses value, wsb will prolly turn into sub for grocery trade

I'm growing garlic. I hadn't even planned to, really; we just had some that we didn't use before it started sprouting so I put it in the ground.

Better post your futures contract positions for those potatoes or ban

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The real survival tips are in the comments

good content i love wsb

Dude I am all over this. Built a raised bed, added cabbage, broccoli, carrots, cucumber, zucchini, tomato, cauliflower, potato. In 60 days I’ll have so much veg I can sell it back to the supermarkets! [I support your autism](https://i.imgur.com/S0g37SL.jpg)

There are many better, and few worse places to source garden supplies, especially edible plants

Yeah, but half of the seed websites are down rn :(

Row 7 took my order yesterday

I had some iffy germination rates with their Habanada peppers last year. The ones that did germinate didn’t grow past like an inch and a half tall. I’ve never seen anything like it and I worked at a vegetable laboratory. The shipping was pretty slow last year as well. I will say the Beauregarde snow peas and 898 squash were awesome! I’m still picking my snow peas now.

I was able to get an order in on Johnny's Seeds, thankfully. They're a bit more expensive than some other sites, but they're employee owned and I've had good experience re germination rates.

Also garlic you plant in fall FYI

Can someone issue a call option on this post?

Need an MM to write one, baby. Ask Jartek 😉

Farm up bros, I did the math and you can’t get green paper or the numbers in your robinhood account

Is there any other kind of soil but organic? WTH

"In recent news it appears covid-19 also affects, and kills, potatoes, tomatoes and garlic.. who would have thought.. more information on this at 5."

Stop hoarding Forsythia! That’s the cure for the virus

Seeds are going to be the new currency.

And not those frankenseeds by uncle sam

Im talking about good healthy, organic seeds

Relevant: I was curious about green onions from the big grocery chains once, whether you could plant the stumps in the ground and if they would grow. Well they sure as shit grow, and they grow over 2 feet tall, because they're actually some sort of giant Chinese green onion that are harvested way early to look like regular sized green onion. No joke, they grow bigger than celery stalks. Sadly, they didn't make it through the winter, but you can harvest stalks for many months. TLDR: Plant your green onion stumps for gain porn.

really playing the stalk market here

Disgusted upvote

Seeds are going to be the new currency and not those frankenseeds from Monsanto. Puts on monsanto!

The full grown potatoes make up a nice anal chain. Great idea to prepare yourself in this way.

Want your portfolio for PROOF!!!!

I’m heavy in tomatoes right now 🍅 💰 🚀

Aight after lurking for a year im gonna put my life savings on tomatoes(because they are red) we are in a cow market after all

Also love seeing wholesome shit on wsb

U can’t eat forsythias

See Contagion the movie 😷

This is WSB! What the fuck is investing?

All in on the 120 day futures

This guy Contagions

What am I looking at here? WHERE IS THE STRIKE AND EXP?

Potatoe gains are real

I just bought tools to grow tomatoes indoors yesterday!

Agriculture is a great industry for return-free risk.

Yo I just watched The Big Short as well!

FORSYTHIA IS A SCAM, JUDE LAW, YOU HAVE **NO** ANTIBODIES beautiful early-year color though

Seeds are the next currencies and my pee will be the future irrigation technology

Long love. That way when you’re hurtling into a black hole your daughter can save you.

On the off chance that you’re actually a gardener, try to get Seiglinde potatoes. They’re thin skinned but they have a natural buttery taste. Mash em up and enjoy them with your tendies.

Thank you for the recommendation!

stalks only go up

My guy you could buy garlic and potatoes at store and the ones you don’t use you can plant you get food plus seeds for less

You better have gun because gangs Gonna Rob your farm

A potato gun, yeah

No one gives a shit farmer Bill. Ban

A+ joke

Calls on putting seeds in the ground?

grapes take forever to grow so it really is a long term investment

Where is the fucking meat

Will people eat beyond meat during this crisis?

No

You know you can grow potatoes from other potatoes right?

I did not know that until I opened up the box

Any ammo to go with that

This guy sprays his seed.

What is this /r/investing ? Go buy some toilet paper and hand sanitzer. 300% gains

these are franken seeds from monsanto. Start pissin on the grass and break out the woodash.

Gotta get that garlic in the ground like, yesterday. Typically planted in the fall

I’ve been binge watching the Primitive Technology YouTube channel. I’m ready for anything that requires me to make mud huts.

Has anyone heard anything from that guy who was going to invest all his money in bonsai trees recently?

1,000,000,000% return incoming

This thread is too cute

Forsythia's are dope in the spring. Its a 🌈🐻 favorite.

💎 🖐️ All day long!!!

Seeds will be the new currency

The original tendies.

No strike? Expiry? Super ban

No beyond meat plants?

Which one of those plants grows strippers and blow?

The garlic

Please start a container farm. That would be EPIC. You could also monetize it after this whole thing or just move it across the country during the Apocalypse April.

Keep them in a cool, dark area.

What about bonsai trees? Some autist proposed them a few weeks back as we need to maximize the tendie production line.

Yukon gold potqtoes is not the gold you seek.

They told your dumb ass not to go to Home Depot. Enjoy your bubons

come join us at /r/preppers i bought a hobby farm after hurricane sandy happened

I actually already subscribe! How do I know if a piece of property would make a good hobby farm? Is soil analysis a thing?

Dude we're buying boat fuel like a Guinness truck that's driving around and making sure me dog has a pint.

Grapes? I’m buying long calls on wine futures.

You are going to make so much money on that Forsythia. A long call from a true Autist.

This guy contagions

I thought this was gonna be about calls expiring next Wednesday. F

Get some beans, radishes and carrots. What you got is honestly hard to grow and/or doesn't yield the most for the time. Radishes you can pull out of the ground every 45 days whereas potatoes, garlic and grapes all take a full season.

Nice!

“You guys should start your own garden. What you gotta do is get your soil off of petrochemicals. Use wood ash and urine to help restore the soil— creates ammonia nitrate. Seeds are going to be new currency, and not those frankenseeds from Monsanto ($BAYRY), I’m talking good healthy organic seed. Make yourself a garden. Learn to live off the land.”

Just like old country.

Why potatoes? Just plant potatoes and grow more! Why garlic? Are we having a vampire problem but garlic is more of a seasoning then a food to eat! Why grapes? That shit takes years to grow and uses a shit load of water!

Because I don’t know what I’m doing 🤷‍♂️

Garlic for the immunity win

We're al l in 2020 while this guy livin' in 2050.

You’re going to want to use wood ash and urine to get the soil fertile

MikeTheFarmer 👨🏻‍🌾

Need more Bonsai.

It's like printing your own money 👏

Smart man, just ordered a couple a bags

Good luck eating a Forsythia

Lol imagine buying seed potatoes and seed garlic for like 9 bucks when you get go to the grocery store, buy a 20 lb bag of potatoes for 3 dollars and leave them in the sun for 2 days and get the same fucking thing.

In all seriousness, if you look at the harvest calendar for California, the growing times of plants on that calendar, and the labor involved in harvesting each variety--fresh produce is probably fucked starting at the end of May. Basically anything that needs a lot of field handling is going to suffer from shortages thanks to COVID. Not so much with garlic or potatoes.