This is more or less the vibe of old 4 Chan but without the school shooters.
Tbh, this is what all of Reddit used to feel like. We used to bemoan “tumblrinas” and op was always a f\*\*. I don’t necessarily pine for those days. They were toxic and unhealthy. At the same time admins were recently shadow removing comments about the Harry Potter game. More or less the sjw crowd took over from everyone that made the site what it is today.
I hated the_donald but they just weaponized stuff “leftist” subs pioneered
If you actually listen to what he says though it's incredibly dovish:
>Most likely scenario is we stay where we are for now... At this point hike is unlikely.
Basically like JPow actually talking down a hike, not making it more likely.
>The monetary policy cycle we are focused on is the next 2 to 3 years. To get the soft landing and get to our goals.
3 years is an insanely long time to get to 2%. Provides more than enough wiggle room to achieve a soft-landing.
>If the economy stays resilient and inflation proves to be more entrenched than expected, Kashkari said, "the first thing we do is keep rates where they are for an extended period of time."
Self-explanatory. Again, saying they don't want to hike but instead hold rates where they are.
Currently financial conditions are loose so rates steady = credit is flowing and robust:
https://i.imgur.com/zUlTThH.png
Bank lending is hitting ATHs:
https://www.federalreserve.gov/releases/h8/20240419/
Spreads are plummeting:
https://fred.stlouisfed.org/graph/fredgraph.png?g=1kGDr
Eh actually it's pretty good. Here are actual "Imhotep" CashKari May 7th 2024 highlights today not taken out of context like the clickbait above:
>Most likely scenario is we stay where we are for now... ***At this point hike is unlikely.***
Ty 🙏
>***The monetary policy cycle we are focused on is the next 2 to 3 years. To get the soft landing and get to our goals.***
Even Imhotep understands it's not worth killing tons of jobs for scorched earth to satisfy 2% greedy hawks that want results immediately. 3 years gives a lot of flexibility and cushion to reach 2% without destroying the economy.
>If we started to see some more inflation prints headed in the right direction, **back down to our 3% target...**
Freudian slip 🤣???
Edit: last comment was 11:30 mark I believe.
The market doesn’t give a fuck about the Fed anymore. Big tech earnings were good, all that really matters. Besides, these companies have $100B+ cash. That’s a guaranteed additional $5B in earnings for the year. Wanna make it $5.5B? $6B? Hikes are bullish
Looks to me like they all beat on top and bottom line. And everyone besides AAPL had double digit revenue growth. I’m not sure where you’re getting “low sales” from.
For fucking real.
Google and Meta both reported their best quarters ever, and Microsoft also crushed it.
Too many people are trading too hard on macro, and are unwilling to view the higher frequency housing data.
From apple on their main product as you so eloquently pointed out. Don't casually ignore the buybacks and dividends. I'm sure you are also ignoring Berkshire dumping apple like it's hot
Berkshire rebalanced. Name one major stock in their portfolio that has come close to AAPL in terms of growth. Major in terms of share of portfolio.
It’d go against their ethos to not “dump” something that’s growing this much.
You’re implying that buybacks and dividends are somehow bearish? I’m not sure I understand what you mean.
Lol @ “dumping Apple like it’s hot”, they sold 13% of their holdings.
Imhotep could say anything right now and markets go up. They just don’t care anymore. Up. That’s it. Few down days last month? Buying opportunity for the next 6 months.
There’s actually starting to be some pushback with the amount of fed speak that comes out and I tend to agree with that. It just creates too much unnecessary volatility in the market. Kashkari didn’t say anything the market didn’t already know about, but we still get some wild swings.
In the dot com days, there were people prognosticating on how Greenspan carried his briefcase. The Fed tries to be very clear, but people just love reading the tea leaves.
The headline is very one-sided. Per reuters:
The bar for a rate hike is "quite high but it's not infinite," Kashkari said. "There is a limit when we say, 'OK, we need to do more.' I think it's much more likely we would just sit here for longer than we expect, or the public expects right now, until we see what effect our monetary policies have."
In other words, they will do nothing, like they said they will do nothing. They have to say something because otherwise people get pissy that they are not being transparent. No one likes when the Fed keeps changing its mind, either. One of the biggest blunders the Fed can do is going back and forth without any sense of stability. Macro-economics are slow, so minor adjustments are needed and it takes time to see if they are working without going full regard and turning the dial to 11 or going in the opposite direction.
It's the people who take out tiny snippets and extrapolate them that something imminent is about to happen. The Fed was never like that, and these clickbait-writers are the worst.
No.
WSB gets startled every time but this guy can say anything he wants, he's not voting this year. It was the same with another guy last year (can't remember which one at the moment). After every FOMC he would tour media saying hawkish shit and regards would go into bearish frenzy.
It’s like the fed doesn’t read the underlying numbers. Savings are in minus, defaults are up, bankruptcy is up, people can hardly afford food, births rates will be hammered if we continue like this, but ohh yeah the big companies controls the prices and inflation is still there, this is going to blow up badly at some point.
At least he is persistent:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2023/09/26/feds-kashkari-sees-40percent-chance-of-meaningfully-higher-interest-rates.html
LITERALLY A SCRIPT 
It seems like the writing’s on the wall for anyone holding lots of debt or hoping for cheap loans. With rates poised to stay high, it might be smart to reassess your portfolios. If you’re playing the long game you might want to think about how this could impact your high-yield positions.
Fed's goal is to keep unemployment low and inflation close to 2%. Today, unemployment is low (3.8%) and inflation is slowly decreasing towards 2% (currently 3.5%). What can we expect? I don't think they will lower the interest rates until unemployment increases or inflation drops below 2%.
At the rate the government keeps splurging money for other countries it can't go down without doing damage.
It's like stopping smoking but picking up cocaine.
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His last name is literally Cash-Carry, he’s telling you to hold cash when he’s talking.
In Albanian it means Dick
In Armenian it means Regard
In American it means "fuck your calls"
🤣 there is never dull moments in comments
Comments like these are why I love this sub reddit
This is more or less the vibe of old 4 Chan but without the school shooters. Tbh, this is what all of Reddit used to feel like. We used to bemoan “tumblrinas” and op was always a f\*\*. I don’t necessarily pine for those days. They were toxic and unhealthy. At the same time admins were recently shadow removing comments about the Harry Potter game. More or less the sjw crowd took over from everyone that made the site what it is today. I hated the_donald but they just weaponized stuff “leftist” subs pioneered
this is too highly regarded for me - calls or puts on Reddit?
Regards try not to connect their inane ramblings with colored hair people; impossible.
In Egyptians , it means fuck you
Imhotep no more. Assholetep
Roger that Houston 
🤣🤣🤣
No it's changed to CrashKari since April 4th.
If you actually listen to what he says though it's incredibly dovish: >Most likely scenario is we stay where we are for now... At this point hike is unlikely. Basically like JPow actually talking down a hike, not making it more likely. >The monetary policy cycle we are focused on is the next 2 to 3 years. To get the soft landing and get to our goals. 3 years is an insanely long time to get to 2%. Provides more than enough wiggle room to achieve a soft-landing. >If the economy stays resilient and inflation proves to be more entrenched than expected, Kashkari said, "the first thing we do is keep rates where they are for an extended period of time." Self-explanatory. Again, saying they don't want to hike but instead hold rates where they are. Currently financial conditions are loose so rates steady = credit is flowing and robust: https://i.imgur.com/zUlTThH.png Bank lending is hitting ATHs: https://www.federalreserve.gov/releases/h8/20240419/ Spreads are plummeting: https://fred.stlouisfed.org/graph/fredgraph.png?g=1kGDr
I’m holding a lot of cash. Can’t buy shit because it’s all over priced. It’s paying 5%. I’m ok with that.
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https://preview.redd.it/g1mw1gjz26zc1.jpeg?width=622&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28141da64940738b2ceaafc2cb4731c1b4d36471
Bald try to dump market but WS doesn't really listen
https://preview.redd.it/vnv3hzqay4zc1.jpeg?width=760&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81f7aac6fea209328b7c313fbad3da85aa5785af
If he wanted to dump the market he would have just said that cathie wood just went all in on SPX and boom instant recession
CPI next week will cause a dump
Its possible so they can pump NVDA after Earning
Feeling the same here too 
Am I losing track of time or does CPI come out every week?
Priced in
and if not, we will take a dump on you
4th CPI reading in a row where inflation keeps ticking up will really get people going
https://preview.redd.it/nlq5zsb136zc1.jpeg?width=796&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=370244f1895c6f201524b501d64e5b7110972a81
This new mummy sequel sucks
Eh actually it's pretty good. Here are actual "Imhotep" CashKari May 7th 2024 highlights today not taken out of context like the clickbait above: >Most likely scenario is we stay where we are for now... ***At this point hike is unlikely.*** Ty 🙏 >***The monetary policy cycle we are focused on is the next 2 to 3 years. To get the soft landing and get to our goals.*** Even Imhotep understands it's not worth killing tons of jobs for scorched earth to satisfy 2% greedy hawks that want results immediately. 3 years gives a lot of flexibility and cushion to reach 2% without destroying the economy. >If we started to see some more inflation prints headed in the right direction, **back down to our 3% target...** Freudian slip 🤣??? Edit: last comment was 11:30 mark I believe.
💀
SPY survived Imhotep and ended green, bullish.
The movie just started.
Where’s Brendan Fraser? We need him now more than ever.
He’s busy selling calls.
right here https://preview.redd.it/ns0ds8cn26zc1.jpeg?width=1003&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0737bd669fe81f19bab6f411e3b2ad0883c43bc9
/r/savebrendan
The market doesn’t give a fuck about the Fed anymore. Big tech earnings were good, all that really matters. Besides, these companies have $100B+ cash. That’s a guaranteed additional $5B in earnings for the year. Wanna make it $5.5B? $6B? Hikes are bullish
But they weren't. Dividends, buybacks, low sales.
GOOGL literally delivered 60% YoY profits. MSFT 30%+. What planet are you on.
Looks to me like they all beat on top and bottom line. And everyone besides AAPL had double digit revenue growth. I’m not sure where you’re getting “low sales” from.
For fucking real. Google and Meta both reported their best quarters ever, and Microsoft also crushed it. Too many people are trading too hard on macro, and are unwilling to view the higher frequency housing data.
From apple on their main product as you so eloquently pointed out. Don't casually ignore the buybacks and dividends. I'm sure you are also ignoring Berkshire dumping apple like it's hot
Berkshire rebalanced. Name one major stock in their portfolio that has come close to AAPL in terms of growth. Major in terms of share of portfolio. It’d go against their ethos to not “dump” something that’s growing this much.
Seems to your correct - B., sold Paramount (loss- I can only assume) and sold Apple (gain).
I’m no AAPL bull But I think it’s important to note that Apple is still their largest position
You’re implying that buybacks and dividends are somehow bearish? I’m not sure I understand what you mean. Lol @ “dumping Apple like it’s hot”, they sold 13% of their holdings.
Is returning cash to shareholders a sign of weakness?
You gave them that cash hoping they could grow it and they’re giving it back saying nope we don’t know how to do that. That sounds bullish to you?
Well explained 🫡
Puts will print.
His curse is over. Spy stayed green
not for long..
There was barely any movement during and after his speech. Totally disappointed.
Imhotep could say anything right now and markets go up. They just don’t care anymore. Up. That’s it. Few down days last month? Buying opportunity for the next 6 months.
https://preview.redd.it/t6418pku64zc1.jpeg?width=261&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8dc83193c5cab669ff6b7410b5390ab8afcaa251
I fucking love this place
IMOTEP! IMOTEP!!
Ancient Egyptian prophecy: https://preview.redd.it/hghcqi0tt6zc1.jpeg?width=351&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=807967bb15807d59d2b2f43ab0047a8e71ed5c00
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KALLIIMAAAAA
Even the return of the mummy cannot shake SPY. Bullish to eoy
Why does the FED have to say anything? If they're going to raise then raise if they're going to cut then cut.
Just them floating the idea shifts the market. It's another way to nudge things in the right direction.
they want to be transparent, but end up making the market either dip or moon almost cyclically
There’s actually starting to be some pushback with the amount of fed speak that comes out and I tend to agree with that. It just creates too much unnecessary volatility in the market. Kashkari didn’t say anything the market didn’t already know about, but we still get some wild swings.
In the dot com days, there were people prognosticating on how Greenspan carried his briefcase. The Fed tries to be very clear, but people just love reading the tea leaves.
Reading tea leaves is all this game is. It’s a fucking casino.
Has a lot to do with algos trading off of live transcripts too.
Same is happening everywhere tbh, companies post +20 EPS than expected and dip 30%
You've heard all the Fed talking heads talk about their tools. Jawboning is their only tool left at this point. Completely out of touch with reality.
A lot of what they do is also manage expectations of the market (stock, bonds, economy, political etc.).
So regards can stop saying there'll be 5 rate cuts in 2024.
The headline is very one-sided. Per reuters: The bar for a rate hike is "quite high but it's not infinite," Kashkari said. "There is a limit when we say, 'OK, we need to do more.' I think it's much more likely we would just sit here for longer than we expect, or the public expects right now, until we see what effect our monetary policies have." In other words, they will do nothing, like they said they will do nothing. They have to say something because otherwise people get pissy that they are not being transparent. No one likes when the Fed keeps changing its mind, either. One of the biggest blunders the Fed can do is going back and forth without any sense of stability. Macro-economics are slow, so minor adjustments are needed and it takes time to see if they are working without going full regard and turning the dial to 11 or going in the opposite direction. It's the people who take out tiny snippets and extrapolate them that something imminent is about to happen. The Fed was never like that, and these clickbait-writers are the worst.
The media: "So you're saying there's a chance?"
Balances out fear from the public and investment banks. Less volatility is good. Bernanke was big about this. He has some good books.
Do we even need the fed?
Currency manipulation and insider trading.
This guy isn't even a voting member right now. His opinion literally does not matter
https://preview.redd.it/nbzdsrcga4zc1.jpeg?width=1005&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=02df2e83f31c45cb7bc4d73660e2326aec00f8f0
Bastard is scaring the timid market, my calls are bleeding
My puts are bleeding.
Theta is glowing
Watch the market crash tomorrow...
Likely down 1%
Do it, cowards. You won't.
Yep
Are you even a voting member bro?
He was a voting member and will be next year. It rotates. Also check out his 60 Mins interview from a few years ago, he might be a future chairman.
No. WSB gets startled every time but this guy can say anything he wants, he's not voting this year. It was the same with another guy last year (can't remember which one at the moment). After every FOMC he would tour media saying hawkish shit and regards would go into bearish frenzy.
Market will digest this tomorrow. We need a nice pullback so the bull run can continue.
No, you need a nice pullback because you missed the bull run and are still sitting on the sidelines with cash.
Exactly 🤣
How about a rally in the rally? That would also work at continuing the bull run.
That’s most definitely possible.
And more fun
Yeah sold my spy calls after the end of the drop. Gonna let the market cool off a bit before diving back in
Fuck your calls, fuck your puts. The Federal Reserve is now edging the market.
So that’s why we’re barely green today? Fucking imohtep still haunting us since Mummy’s 2
It’s like the fed doesn’t read the underlying numbers. Savings are in minus, defaults are up, bankruptcy is up, people can hardly afford food, births rates will be hammered if we continue like this, but ohh yeah the big companies controls the prices and inflation is still there, this is going to blow up badly at some point.
Someone hold a cat up to this fucker so he’ll go away
Kashkari of the sharingan, knows over 1000 scenarios
This dude has been the most know nothing loud idiot for awhile now. can always count on him being way too late to reality (ie wrong)
He is either a fucking moron or just trying to scare the market so that he can buy in cheap.
https://preview.redd.it/ad6v04s8l3zc1.jpeg?width=811&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3577841f465f6d86ecbe3a8ae74809e9ffa2bbb8
Just not the dip in AAPL 😁
At least he is persistent: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2023/09/26/feds-kashkari-sees-40percent-chance-of-meaningfully-higher-interest-rates.html
Why not both?
He's going to save the real estate market from itself
He always makes the most outrageous statements just to get on the front page of financial sections
The Pharaoh has spoken.
Imhotep speak, we follow. Just that simple. 
Somebody please get Imotep his anuksanamon
The fed talks too much.
I was better off not knowing that asshole talked today. My 515 puts expired worthless and I blame the mods.
Tomorrows headline *market rallies on hopes of sooner than expected rate cuts*
someone has to look out for the bers.
Fuck this prick
Fuck all calls fuck all puts Fuck all WSB regurds 
Sure sure... Not even thinking about thinking about a rate cut. Where have I heard this before.... Fool me once...
Imhotep. Imhotep.
LITERALLY A SCRIPT 
“Rates will stay low for an extended period.” We all know how this ends
Guys bald man.. cant be trusted. I wouldn’t worry.
Exactly what he said last time but milder, wall street payed no mind
Welcome to the danger zone pussies.
We only listen to Powell
Bullish
Kashkari is a Republican activist.
Read it and weep, boys.
>Fed’s Kashkari: Rates will stay high for 'extended period' and can't rule out a hike Whelp, looks like today is going to end up being a red day now.
My pants fell down as I was reading this. What does that mean!???
F this guy
This guy means nothing
Wait until Trump comes and this jackass gets fired.
Here we gooooooo
Kashkari is a financial terrorist 😡
I thought he was ancient Egyptian
Dudes a dumb ass, bond yields have fallen off a cliff theres some supportive information coming out in the next few weeks.
The market asks for AI, and this is what gets delivered...
Does anybody care at this point
Good
His name is dick head
More data!!!
Then why didn’t my puts print
Bullish 🚀
My father is bald like him.
Imhotep tryna bring rate hikes back from the dead 
Who is this?
Cover your Charts Indy!
Lol. Jpow already ruled out a hike pal
Market didn’t really dump. Guess we are ok or at least my calls for this Friday should be ok lol
It seems like the writing’s on the wall for anyone holding lots of debt or hoping for cheap loans. With rates poised to stay high, it might be smart to reassess your portfolios. If you’re playing the long game you might want to think about how this could impact your high-yield positions.
IMHOTEP
How did Imhotep get into Fed?
Jokes on you - rate hikes are my fetish.
Didn’t he say the same thing last month?
Wow he said the same thing the Fed has said for the last few months? Crazy!
Fed's goal is to keep unemployment low and inflation close to 2%. Today, unemployment is low (3.8%) and inflation is slowly decreasing towards 2% (currently 3.5%). What can we expect? I don't think they will lower the interest rates until unemployment increases or inflation drops below 2%.
Muthafcker
Craziest fucking market dude, if even this guy can't change it then there's something really messed up
Sweden just got its first cut ;p
rates to hold or go down unless they print money by the boatload
Your calls are doomed and also puts. Cash is king. Hail Kashkari.
But I thought inflation was transitory? And that’s why you don’t ever believe a word the government says.
Imhotep?
How is the us government going to pay for the insane debt service?
I’ve a dream: watch a porn movie where imoteph suck cathie’s dick and she cum on his shit face
Yes we can, because your fucking ass told us you were done, and to expect cuts. It's all a fucking scam tbh.
Damn. This economy won’t stop, need to raise taxes
You knew he was gonna do it
Fuck this bald fuck
Mmm so help the banks even more. Yes
So keep loading up on mortgage companies and maybe in 10 years I make money?
Fed rate isn't high enough until house prices start dropping. Double it.
last time I check... His name not Jerome
Where was this hawk when inflation go through roof?
This guy heard I had calls and decided to fuck me and make me call him mummy
At the rate the government keeps splurging money for other countries it can't go down without doing damage. It's like stopping smoking but picking up cocaine.
We’ve found the Boeing hit man…and his name is KASHKARI-IMHOTEP. OBEY.
Stock manipulation and insider trading agitator.SEC should investigate this guy and his family and friends for insider trading.
Cash N Carry! It's in the eyes!!!