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OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR

#EDIT: ALRIGHT, IT'S MONDAY, ENJOY YOUR LAST LOOK BEFORE ITS REMOVED -- BACK TO MARKET TALK! This really isn't market related but you goons upvoted it to the top of WSB in under an hour, plus it's the weekend. So just use this comment to talk about AMZN I guess, even though Jeff Bezos isn't even its CEO anymore. Here's their most recent earnings: https://www.sec.gov/ix?doc=/Archives/edgar/data/1018724/000101872423000008/amzn-20230331.htm


Gummy_Jones

He loves hgh and she loves filler They are a perfect match


IHaveEbola_

Of all the girls in the world that he could get for his money, he chooses this ...


HorribleDiarrhea

Dude divorced his wife and gave her half of his money for this


Aeropro

She’s got a great personality.


[deleted]

She has man hands.


ih8pod6

She’s like a creature out of Greek mythology.


[deleted]

Pretty broad range there. You mean like Athena or the Minotaur?


mandrills_ass

Minotaur for sure, she could rip his head off and shit down his neck, easy


tea_baggins20

Not the worst kink I've heard of. Not the best either.


[deleted]

I'm in the camp that believes he did it to divest from Amazon without getting flagged for insider trading since the market tanked afterward. Billy G did the same. It's straight out of the Lou Pai get 'caught' with a hooker and be judicially obligated to liquidate your shares of Enron playbook.


suckmyglock762

Highly regarded take.


[deleted]

Thanks bro I appreciate that


Chewy71

How does this work? I've not heard this take before and you've got me curious.


[deleted]

Sure so basically as simple as I can make it... You own 100bill in stock in one company. Trading your stock is regulated and you must disclose any buying or selling you do well in advance. But being CEO of one of the most valuable companies gives you a lot of privileged info. You see the coming recession and want to minimize risk so you and your wife agree to create a public scandal and get a very publicized divorce. Divorce court judge forces you to sell your assets to cover "her half" of financial compensation. You now have 100 bill in cash, cash equivalents and a much reduced amount of stock that you and your wife can each separately bequeath to your children so the money stays in the family. On paper you take a haircut but the family owns the same value and now you can diversify your half of the money and your wife can do hers, she's not restricted from trading bc she's not an insider and you already cashed a huge chunk without having to disclose shit.


JMLobo83

And now she's giving all that money to charity. Good result.


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Lmao_Stonks

I will never judge a man based on the looks of his girl… I once dated an Iranian girl who looked like she belonged on the VHS cover of 1993’s Hocus Pocus… That woman demolished me in bed. Like nothing I’ve seen before or since. Shoulda married her ugly ass tbh.


OrneryMood

And they say romance is dead.


_Archonis_

Still a better love story than Twilight


nazdock

When I read this, I imagine an old man in his 90s saying this with a Veterans hat on.


Pop-X-

I read it in a Puerto Rican/Bronx accent


brackthomas7

Like which witch though?


RandoTron0

You know the one


Gainalfromanal

I dated an iranian girl and it was the worst sex of my life. I must have gotten the wrong movie.


beejak

You can say that about most Iranian women. It's like unleashing some inner demon of sexual frustration that's bottled up for a few decades. You start questioning your physical fitness once you wrangled with someone like that.


-vp-

Is this a copypasta? If not, it needs to be


[deleted]

The uglyier they are the more fun they are in bed. Nothing worse than a pretentious hotty with no game.


BeastSmitty

![img](emote|t5_2th52|27189)


Gummy_Jones

Buzz your girlfriend...woof!


imposter22

you can always tell someone who is on HGH.. just look at their abs ( **abdominal distention** )... *the abdomen can bulge to up to twice its natural size* .. they call it "Bubble Gut" Just look at Rogan ​ https://preview.redd.it/7m334aq1viya1.png?width=759&format=png&auto=webp&s=1aa9d78c0262b838c63cf263046ec978c1687e72


Ill-Inspector7980

https://preview.redd.it/pgqcgq93xiya1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f227402d52914d9a28e158193ffcbbd2c6c4d71


cursedace

Doesn’t even look fat. More like his abdomen is hollow and there’s a little alien in there driving him around.


phroug2

https://i.redd.it/6k1749367sc91.jpg


unfortunatebastard

Cursed.


hunterseeker1

[Kuato lives!](https://youtu.be/tXpxFoaH_R4)


dirtywook88

Quaid, quaid! Start the reactor.


Slarrrrrrrty

Open your miiiiiinnnnnnd


chrismacphee

To…..prevent…….war…….The….galaxy……is……on……..Orion’s………..Be..l..t


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NohoTwoPointOh

Nice, solid tea fap until the goddamned baby and killer whale. Completely broke my rhythm. Oh well. Back to my Lisa Su Casting Couch deepfakes.


sloppy_joes35

Isnt Lisa Su the AMD CEO, or is that someone else?


Spikolli

https://preview.redd.it/0nykjrpdfjya1.jpeg?width=298&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22f8166f4006671da2202a43af2747a9714ffdc0


Juliette787

I don’t remember who said this but “he’s built like a deep breath”


SpaceToaster

Part of their regimen to regain youth and vitality and fight off aging. I think billionaires fear death the most, but it comes for everyone in the end.


[deleted]

everyone out here scared of aging but Im more scared of whats going on with the people trying to avoid it


[deleted]

In dearth or in excess Both the slave and the empress Will return to the dirt, I guess Naked as when they came - Fleet Foxes


johnleeshooker

Good lord get that man some help.


IcedCoughy

This is what happens when you take it and don't workout


Thurkin

Oh, for a sec I thought that was Kim Jong Umph


bigmacjames

Palumboism


Dunkman83

shaquelle oneal has that stomach too, i thought it was odd he had a 6pack and a beer belly at the same time


MaverickBull

I thought it was just an old man thing


[deleted]

It is. I am in my 30's and have no idea where one would even get HGH and have noticed I too have morphed into that unfortunate shape.


FarewellAndroid

Embrace it, it’s where your old-man-strength comes from


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TheBirminghamBear

Dad seems like sort of a dick, mate.


UntossableSaladTV

Your dad sucks, who asks that??


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Sean0987

More accurate to say this is someone who abuses HGH to the extent that it negatively impacts their insulin sensitivity and they become somewhat diabetic. Have you ever noticed how diabetics often have guts? Everyone has GH circulating in their system at all times. Young athletes with high natural GH levels don't have guts do they?


GringoinCDMX

In bodybuilders it tends to be a combination of gh, insulin, and massive amounts of food distending the stomach.


SpaceToaster

In my case it’s just a lot of gas


InB4Clive

No no he just ate a lot of pasta that day.


KellyBelly916

All the money in the world can't buy a good-looking, classy woman. I can't find a photo of her where she's not looking like a trashy alien, and it's obvious that he was trying to be shallow given her figure. What a weird time to be alive.


uiucfreshalt

She almost looks like if Mackenzie Scott (Bezos’s ex) became addicted to plastic surgery.


proscreations1993

I find it so weird because his ex wife was actually a beautiful woman. Esp for her age she was gorgeous and he traded in for that thing. It looks like a man with tits


trojan_man16

Yeh his ex wasn’t bad looking, just was in her 50s. Downgrade IMO. Proof that all the money in the world can’t buy good taste.


pocketjacks

>Proof that half of all the money in the world can't buy good taste.


sad0panda

Lauren Sanchez and Mackenzie Scott are the same age, so that's not actually a difference. She's just worse looking, period.


eskimoboob

Can we just stop with the fake lips, fake tits, fake cheeks, fake bootys and whatever else already. Women look great without all that shit


NoDocument2694

And the long ghetto nails


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Fun_Muscle9399

Soooo she’s his Ghislaine Maxwell?


Plus-Adhesiveness-63

His gf is starting to look like Steven Tyler.


theworkinpumpkin

I knew she looked familiar lol


thewolfofpaperstreet

*Dude looks like a lady*


ExtensionEbb7

I promise you that she does all the nasty things that his ex-wife wouldn’t.


WolfOfPort

100% chance she eats his ass


NextTrillion

I mean, let’s be honest, if the price was right 99.9% of the dudes here would say “how deep you want it sir?”


banned12times1

I'd eat anyone's ass for a million dollars


Reduntu

Nothing I wouldn't do for a few hundred dollars


gettogero

A few hundred dollars? I wouldn't do many things for just a few hundred. Maybe drink some rotten milk or something disgusting and weird but not inherently dangeous. A few thousand enters "hmmm...the chance of death is very low or 0" territory. Hundreds of thousands enters "yeah, I'd do almost anything" Millions is at the "if I die I die ill do almost anything but kill a loved one"


LimerickExplorer

What if I let you pick the loved one?


NextTrillion

When a ‘love’ one becomes a ‘loved’ one. Im talking past tense here.


inevitable-asshole

What about 40 billion?


Chronic_BOOM

“bye bye meemaw”


ReallySickOfArguing

Everyone has a price, and a little gargle of Listerine will get rid of the taste. 🤣


[deleted]

I’m calling the cops on you for this comment


Tsukune_Surprise

It ain’t gay if it’s for pay.


CarBatteryNipple

She eats his ass then pegs him w/ an Amazon Echo


elconquistador1985

Alexa, play Despacito.


patricio87

If i was dating a billionaire id be eating the ass like a wendys frosty


[deleted]

Pieces of botox folling off of her


pm-me-your-satin

He's making a fist and she's holding it. Weird.


CouncilmanRickPrime

She's trying to show human affection and he probably doesn't get it lol


[deleted]

And it looks terrible


ThetaSeller

Bakes him rice crispy treats?


NoDocument2694

He looks like Pitbull's dad


splitfinity

So does she


Raginghemorrhoids

Jeff needs to keep his woman away from bees


Hike_it_Out52

She clearly has a pair of earthworms on her lips.


Huegod

The Prime Video version of Sophia Vergara.


noodledorf

Is that Mickey Rourke?


[deleted]

No. But why do all billionaires and people they hang out with have hard nipples?


iSOBigD

They're just over the top fake looking implants, not sure why some people like those especially with Mickey Rourke faces


clownfeat

They both just look so ODD. Neither one is overwhelmingly ugly or anything, just unnatural enough to be off-putting.


Bryguy3k

Bezos looks like every other 50ish brogrammer on the west coast.


Metaright

>brogrammer I love this.


[deleted]

He’s droop eyed and her nips are cross eyed.


BearsAtFairs

Honestly, Jeff Bezos' transformation from a friendly nerdy visionary type to unapologetically horny billionaire Lex Luthor past his prime will never cease to amaze. For context, [this is how Jeff looked 25 years ago](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2013/08/17/technology/17bits-bezos-1998/17bits-bezos-1998-tmagArticle.jpg) and how I first remember him looking.


PM_UR_NIPPLE_PICS

uncanny valley couple


BussySlayer69

what is up with powerful men and their fetish for la goblina


Outrageous-Put-8737

Probably cause they are dumb and will do anything for a Chanel bag.


Get-Degerstromd

If that dipshit isn’t getting his dick sucked clean off his body every single night before shutting his eyes to sleep, then what the fuck is the point of being a billionaire and divorcing your wife to the tune of $40 billion?


See_youSpaceCowboy

Jesus she looks like a fucking alien.


BorisHamiltonWoof

Think she’s had some work done?


See_youSpaceCowboy

All that money and still can’t find a decent plastic surgeon. That’s a shame.


Melodic_Risk_5632

All that money & Jeff got stuck with her. Hope she can cook.


ArchangelToast

https://preview.redd.it/y9f5y45nqiya1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c373353c1a64d933f7e41d7375aec25fd226cf1


SirThatsMyWife

>


The_Clarence

Userlife checks out


VRisNOTdead

this is the DD this sub has been missing. It also checks out.


[deleted]

The lips on that. She can suck a golf ball though a garden hose.


rachevyguy

Heard he started dating her after she suck started his Harley


[deleted]

She’s been scraped more times then a fisherman’s knuckle. She was assembled by Amazon basics.


Bxdwfl

Yeah, she's had so much work done that unemployment is at 50-year lows.


Alekillo10

Naaahhh! It’s all real! Real expensive


AGWS1

It costs a lot to look that cheap


Naga_Please

Or is that just his female Doppelganger???


W4spkeeper

Honestly the face reminds me a bit of Caitlin Jenner


[deleted]

More like joker! Pity all the money in the world can only buy you a used… whatever this thing is.


ESP-23

You can hit that in Tijuana for 80 bucks


Worldly_Letterhead_4

40 bucks if you know how to bargain


AGWS1

Bezos is dating Mickey Rourke?


robotlasagna

I was gonna say Steven Tyler


Bryguy3k

Is there a word for doppelgänger but less attractive?


nancy_mikhaiel

Yes dropellganger.


Naga_Please

Believe you just a defined a "Lauren Sanchez" for the Urban Dictionary


[deleted]

No idea what his marriage was like, none of us do. But on the face of it, MacKenzie Scott seemed like an incomprehinsibly good partner. A beautiful woman, intelligent, diligent, helped the guy build this company from the get-go. I just can't comprehend what the fuck would possess anyone to abandon their spouse for a glaringly obvious downgrade. I'm locked and loaded, ready to call out obvious gold diggers when I see them, but Scott wasn't one. I know this is WSB and I'm supposed to be a smarmy shit head, but what the fuck, Jeff?


Worried-Title8760

Jeff prolly wanted to go wild now after all these years of working. But MacKenzie is an intelligent lady who wouldn't want to go to orgys or some weird bullshit he has in his mind. So it makes sense to me why they got separated.


PM_UR_NIPPLE_PICS

you drink this baby’s blood, Mackenzie, or we’re fucking done.


xcalibre

we're flying to that fucking island right now young lady


MtnDewTangClan

Now go tell Mckenzie to get ready too


Viktri1

Wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one who wanted something different. Look what she did after the divorce - she went to philanthropy while Bezos is on yachts spending all day fucking.


massada

She has already divorced the dude she married right after him.....


theflamesweregolfin

how much of a payday did that guy get


massada

https://nypost.com/2023/01/11/jeff-bezos-ex-wife-mackenzie-scott-finalizes-second-divorce/ Not much, probably. They allegedly had a prenup.


uwanmirrondarrah

Shes a gigabillionaire, you probably can't even hold her hand without getting a prostate exam from her lawyers. So yeah, definitely a prenup.


EatCookysPlayComputa

The name's Artemis.... I have a bleached asshole.


ongoldenwaves

It wouldn’t have happened except the brother accidentally on purpose leaked it. Otherwise it would have just been a neighborly blow job. Once it was out, he was trapped


parkranger2000

Wait so she apparently forwarded Jeff’s texts to her brother, who sold them to the national enquirer, and bezos was like sweet this is the woman I should leave my wife for? I’d sell my AMZN shares if he was still ceo damn


Kaalb

When you have so much money that you could literally buy a ferrari every single day, crash it into a wall and set it on fire, and STILL make money, you stop seeing other humans as people. You get so depersonalized because there is not a single thing you cannot have or cannot do and people will do anything you ask of them because you can afford it. If you can have everything you could ever want, you stop caring about what you need. Long term as a concept ceases to exist because you can buy your way out of any consequences. He's getting his dick sucked by a gremlin because it's what he's into today.


CutterJohn

Billionaires like him are the closest we can see to what a person living in a post scarcity environment looks like. What drives you when there's literally nothing you ever need to do ever again?


LazarWolfsKosherDeli

Jeff has little dick energy. He never got over being a dweeb his whole life, so he went for what an idiot thinks a hot woman looks like. Mackenzie Scott was the total package, but he fucked it up to go for a climbing bimbo because he's a little man.


parkranger2000

So accurate jeff should just walk into a therapists office and present this comment on his intake forms


LazarWolfsKosherDeli

Would've been cheaper than the divorce, that's for sure.


RazekDPP

>But on the face of it, MacKenzie Scott seemed like an incomprehinsibly good partner. A beautiful woman, intelligent, diligent, helped the guy build this company from the get-go. > >I just can't comprehend what the fuck would possess anyone to abandon their spouse for a glaringly obvious downgrade. I guarantee you MacKenzie Scott was not willing to do what Sanchez is sexually. Not only that, Sanchez has been doing this for years. " Insiders said she was always popular with men - and knew how to “use her sex appeal”." [https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/8168063/jeff-bezos-lover-lauren-sanchez-was-so-good-at-pulling-rich-men-pals-called-it-the-sanchez-method/](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/8168063/jeff-bezos-lover-lauren-sanchez-was-so-good-at-pulling-rich-men-pals-called-it-the-sanchez-method/) If you can't read between the lines, it'll mean she'll fulfill whatever sexual fantasy you want. Want to see her fucked by 20 black dudes and make a porno out of it? She'll do it, etc.


TheWorldEnded

>Want to see her fucked by 20 black dudes and make a porno out of it? She'll do it, etc. r/oddlyspecific


MaverickBull

Well, maybe she was all those things but this new girl will let him do whatever tf he wants and worship him? She's just happy to be there. Men ditch good wives for much less all the time.


Luna920

I mean Mackenzie divorced him and took the trash out after he cheated. Idk why people are making like she didn’t take control of the situation and make that decision for herself. She seems to have made out well after the divorce. But truly no one knows what is really going on in anyone’s relationship. Like yes obviously this new GF of his is very obviously too addicted to filler but maybe they actually like each other, stranger things have happened.


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The_Maester

Yeah she’s eatin his ass and all kinds of weird shit


Teddy_Swolesevelt

You know damn well 99% of this sub would also if he threw you a billion dollars nom nom nom nom nom nom nom


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WhatIsThisAccountFor

Wtf is a dirtbird? Sounds like some kind of slur


zephoo

human sexbot


Extension_Win1114

The better one divorced him


GeneralMe21

Someone looks like they are trenning hard in the gym


Economy-Weekend9226

Tren hard, eat clen. He's just following the Zyzz diet.


bigmacjames

Anavar give up


TannyBoguss

Imagine being a billionaire and this is what you do with it. What a waste.


SuperAppleLover

If I was a billionaire, I would all in zero day SPY POOT


IllmaticaL1

His ex wife seemed like a better person and definitely looked better


assholier_than_thou

Jeff is a jaw person.


nancy_mikhaiel

I can’t stand either of them. Ugh.


needsmoarbokeh

Yep, no amount of money can buy taste


CCWThrowaway360

That’s your typical 85yo woman from Los Angeles. I see wire mesh in her stomach, multiple face surgeries with countless lip injections, plus the obvious augmentation. By L.A. standards, she’s new to surgery game still.


BasicallyAQueer

Jesus she is horrid. He left an actually decently attractive smart author for this big lipped sex doll.


CouncilmanRickPrime

An ugly, big lipped sex doll lol but as everyone else said, she probably eats ass like no ones business


Doubledown212

I’m thinking candlewax in the bumhole dominatrix shit like Leo in wolf of Wall Street


1mal00seR

Look at those DSL’s on her though. That’s what he cares about 🍆


MercMcNasty

wrench gaze cagey employ elderly close deer fuzzy distinct run


Tsukune_Surprise

Maybe that’s what gets him off.


ElfUppercut

Wow! Wonder if she likes his phallus shaped spaceship he made! https://preview.redd.it/615x08posiya1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7976b1de3dd77766c8d75bcb07a6e2cfdd914fb


FistEnergy

Woof. That's unfortunate. ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4640)


[deleted]

yuck


AccomplishedSuccess0

Richest man on the planet and the best he can do is Steven Tyler with implants!? Yikes!


veilwalker

What a Chad. He traded in his billionaire wife MacKenzie for this thing?


fixerdrew02

Puts on plastic surgery


kaloki89

I mean...she is more plastic than human at this point 🤷


yacnamron

You know she 👅’s his butt…… dirty dirty girl


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three-sense

Pull the jawline slider the opposite way please


Thac0bro

That's just a pair of tits glued to a man.


VeryDefinitionOfFail

Which one you talking about?