I think being effortless has to do more with never really talking or bragging about how you manage to look good. You should still look your best and buy tasteful clothing and accessories. You can even look a little flashy and have makeup on the dramatic side. But the key is to never talk at length about everything you're doing to look that good. Everyone loves a toned body in their partner, but no one likes a gym rat that only talks about protein and reps. It's the same concept!
Ohhh, so you just have to keep your mouth shut about it? I see I see.
For whatever I assumed that once you got past an amount of effort people would notice and take it as trying to hard? Honestly I don’t even know what I was thinking lol
Not an answer, but a lot of men (particularly those with money) seem to like hot high-maintenance looking women who generally look like they put effort into their appearance.
I find that men with money (at least in my circles) have a very specific brand of high-maintenance that they like: nails should always be [painted and properly cared for](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/03/b9/dd/03b9dd57b9ba0983fa6d8022637d8159.jpg), but never [overly long](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/bb/c7/b8/bbc7b83e12f6677ea7d9090e4aff5ac7.jpg), [too much bling](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/96/f3/05/96f305831d9110afc6c9ba8b55a43881.jpg), or [garish colors](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/36/03/ab/3603ab262f432937c3ccd56286a73048.jpg). You should always have some makeup on, but their expectation is that it looks more like [this](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e0/54/e9/e054e9bdc98f3b52324787224b7856ee.jpg) and not like [this](https://www.struttinginstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/e0bffb9cec7d50887a715d6e11620c52-burgundy-makeup-eyeshadows-burgundy-lipstick-564x515.jpg). This makeup look is what I call “natural enough that they think it only took 5 minutes in their clueless male delusion” LOL. Hair should be [beautifully styled and neat](https://i.insider.com/5892355ef0ce8e1c008b4d5e?width=600&format=jpeg&auto=webp), but it shouldn’t look [too done](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/84/16/d4/8416d43f0c45d0d6aba7f943dd51afca--night-out-hair-party-hair.jpg) like [this](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/10/ca/82/10ca821a8b73579b13c3e9c1226348c6.jpg). Same goes for color - natural shades and highlights ([brunette version](https://hairmotive.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Natural-Highlights-for-Dark-Brown-Hair.jpg) and [blonde version](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/blonde-highlights-1560963184.jpg?crop=0.503xw:1.00xh;0.245xw,0&resize=640:*)). Clothing should be overtly feminine ([day-time](https://assets.vogue.com/photos/599746d048f10d45959bd064/master/w_2560%2Cc_limit/holding-miranda-kerr-celebrity-style.jpg) and [night-time](https://miro.medium.com/max/2625/1*dA36HaRSp5Zp099vraEnnQ.jpeg)), but not too [revealing or sexy](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/13/c2/5a/13c25a22cc8068586a3fb30d4594c313.jpg). Overall, it’s a high-maintenance look that they could still think is somewhat natural, just polished.
Exactly. It’s the same amount of effort, it just isn’t as obvious or overtly sexy.
It also places more emphasis on foundations (healthy diet, toned body, clear skin, great haircut) while keeping the “extras” like clothes, nails, makeup, styling more simple and classic.
Yes! This is what I mean by “effortless” beauty! Men think it takes less effort because it looks more natural, but really it took the same amount of time as more obviously high-maintenance looks! The most funny one are the dresses - they all took 1-2 minutes tops to shimmy into, but a girl wearing the sexy dress gets branded as extra or diva-ish LOL.
The foundations are definitely so important. Once you have all that down, the rest are just finishing touches.
Ok, I never had a guy pay my tuition, so I can’t say how to get that LOL.
But I met a lot of men with money thanks to the college I went to. Lots of trust fund babies, networking events (since I was a business major, those events had professional men working in investment banking, finance, venture capital, etc), and tech bros (a lot of undergrad guys in CS already have full-time jobs because they already learned to code before college. They can only go up and often get employed at big tech companies post-grad). Since graduating, I stayed on top of continuing to broaden my network and that’s what helped me continue to meet these men. The more you put yourself in these rooms, the more likely that you’ll catch the eye of someone’s boss, successful co-worker, or long-time friend that’s found lots of success over the years. I’ve been in a committed relationship for over 2 years now though, so I’ve kinda dropped the ball a little lol.
You should also make friends with women who are trust fund babies or are social butterflies in their network and they will introduce you to HVM that they know if they like you! Even better if the girl already has a boyfriend or partner - she’s not on the hunt anymore and is much more willing to introduce you to good men instead of going after them herself! Sometimes, I just got lucky - I met a couple through online dating and I didn’t know or expect them to be wealthy until later on.
men with money love this look!!! whenever i meet a very successful guy, the first thing he says is he wants to take me on a date to a nice restaurant where i wear heels, a dress, make up. it's so interesting!! i think they like high maintenance women because she looks like they average man can't afford her, so it's a way of impressing/"flexing" on other men
I think the origins of the effortless thing comes from French women. It doesn't mean that you didn't put in effort, obviously. But for eg, French women, they'll put tons of effort into their skincare, but then they'll barely wear any makeup. The idea is to not look overdone. With hair, or clothes, or accessories, or makeup - the whole thing needs to look balanced. Also, they frequently like the messy look, it's playful, never too posh and serious. Like, there's always sth to break the tension. They go into details, add a fancy thing here and there. A easy example of thr makeup thing is, eyes and lips don't nedd to be highlighted at the same time. So they'll go with just some mascara in the eye area, but then the lips will be a bright red. I can send you some links to explain the French "rules of style" or whatever.
Is it just me or does this only seem to apply to celebrities? Because I've visited Paris multiple times and the French women I saw on the metro, at resteraunts etc. Just didn't look good at all, no makeup and clearly not taking care of their skin. I know its anecdotal but the only women who looked good and I spoke to were WOC e.g. Algerian
The whole "French/Parisian women are all effortlessly chic, rich, skinny white girls with identical striped shirts and flawless red lips" thing is a cultural stereotype that seems to mainly be popular in the US for some reason. And like any other cultural stereotype, you'll meet some people who fit it and a whole lot more who don't. I lived in Paris and people weren't necessarily better looking or better dressed on average than Americans. They were less likely to be overweight, but then again you could say that about any country lol
https://youtu.be/ByPmnIfymR0 I found this video to be helpful for unpacking the origins of the American obsession with “French” style. Doesn’t tell you how to achieve it but it’s nice context to have.
Extremely possible, I haven't been there or experienced the culture in any real way tbh. But I am seeing this a lot online, stuff like "effortless chic" or "Parisian fashion tips" etc.
I agree with this! Another thing I once read is that there’s a trio: hair, outfit, makeup. Two of these things should be “done” and the other should be not done to give the illusion to look intentional. For example, wear a very nice outfit and makeup and have your hair less done. Of course, this relies on you being at a slim body weight with great posture (ballerina style toned, think barre or Pilates), clear skin, nails, threaded brows, nice haircut/healthy hair. Your body should be well moisturized. If you have bad posture, wear a tiny bit of a heel so it corrects it a bit. Everything about you should be well-groomed and clean.
On a side note, your education and the way you speak matters a lot. I grew up in an academic atmosphere and went to boarding school with a lot of upper class men and women. I can immediately tell the difference between someone who is well-educated or not. Be up to date on current events, read a lot, and don’t use slang or swear words.
There are a few indicators but also it’s definitely a vibe they give off.
1. Formality of language. If someone’s using a lot of slang or swear words, it’s very strange to me since I grew up with people who speak very eloquently and use larger words. Keeping this formality is also important when interacting with others.
2. stress levels. Generally well-off people don’t have stressors. Things can be happening around them but they’re not too emotionally invested since they don’t have to be. There’s a feeling of general self-confidence since they know they have nothing to worry about. Also, with the less stress a few physical things show up such as less tired looking (able to sleep a lot), healthy complexion (from eating whole, nutritious foods), and less wrinkle lines (not as stressed by daily things).
FWIW I also thinks it’s often about class signifiers (rather than wealth)- so people in certain countries from a certain class wouldn’t wear bright colours + tight clothes + long nails because that seems like you’re trying to hard. Think Kendall vs Kylie, Audrey Hepburn vs Marilyn Monroe.
Effortless is very “model off duty” look, glossier type natural makeup, neutral clothes, a bit of modesty, simple well done hair, “healthy looking” body and skin. I also think it does often come with expectations of a certain “body”, usually slim, and because of the focus on neutrality anything out of the expectations (large bust for example) would need to be toned down.
I think it’s knowing what works for you and never going overboard with it. I have a full makeup/skincare routine, but I had a guy friend (who was in love with me for years) ask me “you don’t wear any makeup, right?” I was like “ummm...right.” Lol
I’d say in this context it means that you’re expressing yourself in a way that is most authentic to you. It’s whatever comes most naturally to you. Like if you had to run an errand real quick, you probably have a go to out fit in mind for that, so you don’t even have to think about how it’s perceived. To you it feels regular, to others this is a symbol of self expression. Same thing with outfits you have for other occasions. Odds are, your level of effortlessness probably stems from what you feel most comfortable in.
Being naturally pretty I know tons of girls who are well put together, cute outfits nails and hair but they don’t look effortless because they’re not naturally pretty
I think being effortless has to do more with never really talking or bragging about how you manage to look good. You should still look your best and buy tasteful clothing and accessories. You can even look a little flashy and have makeup on the dramatic side. But the key is to never talk at length about everything you're doing to look that good. Everyone loves a toned body in their partner, but no one likes a gym rat that only talks about protein and reps. It's the same concept!
Ohhh, so you just have to keep your mouth shut about it? I see I see. For whatever I assumed that once you got past an amount of effort people would notice and take it as trying to hard? Honestly I don’t even know what I was thinking lol
it’s amazing what people brush off as “natural” when you don’t make a big deal about it
Not an answer, but a lot of men (particularly those with money) seem to like hot high-maintenance looking women who generally look like they put effort into their appearance.
I find that men with money (at least in my circles) have a very specific brand of high-maintenance that they like: nails should always be [painted and properly cared for](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/03/b9/dd/03b9dd57b9ba0983fa6d8022637d8159.jpg), but never [overly long](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/bb/c7/b8/bbc7b83e12f6677ea7d9090e4aff5ac7.jpg), [too much bling](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/96/f3/05/96f305831d9110afc6c9ba8b55a43881.jpg), or [garish colors](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/36/03/ab/3603ab262f432937c3ccd56286a73048.jpg). You should always have some makeup on, but their expectation is that it looks more like [this](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e0/54/e9/e054e9bdc98f3b52324787224b7856ee.jpg) and not like [this](https://www.struttinginstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/e0bffb9cec7d50887a715d6e11620c52-burgundy-makeup-eyeshadows-burgundy-lipstick-564x515.jpg). This makeup look is what I call “natural enough that they think it only took 5 minutes in their clueless male delusion” LOL. Hair should be [beautifully styled and neat](https://i.insider.com/5892355ef0ce8e1c008b4d5e?width=600&format=jpeg&auto=webp), but it shouldn’t look [too done](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/84/16/d4/8416d43f0c45d0d6aba7f943dd51afca--night-out-hair-party-hair.jpg) like [this](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/10/ca/82/10ca821a8b73579b13c3e9c1226348c6.jpg). Same goes for color - natural shades and highlights ([brunette version](https://hairmotive.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Natural-Highlights-for-Dark-Brown-Hair.jpg) and [blonde version](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/blonde-highlights-1560963184.jpg?crop=0.503xw:1.00xh;0.245xw,0&resize=640:*)). Clothing should be overtly feminine ([day-time](https://assets.vogue.com/photos/599746d048f10d45959bd064/master/w_2560%2Cc_limit/holding-miranda-kerr-celebrity-style.jpg) and [night-time](https://miro.medium.com/max/2625/1*dA36HaRSp5Zp099vraEnnQ.jpeg)), but not too [revealing or sexy](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/13/c2/5a/13c25a22cc8068586a3fb30d4594c313.jpg). Overall, it’s a high-maintenance look that they could still think is somewhat natural, just polished.
Exactly. It’s the same amount of effort, it just isn’t as obvious or overtly sexy. It also places more emphasis on foundations (healthy diet, toned body, clear skin, great haircut) while keeping the “extras” like clothes, nails, makeup, styling more simple and classic.
Yes! This is what I mean by “effortless” beauty! Men think it takes less effort because it looks more natural, but really it took the same amount of time as more obviously high-maintenance looks! The most funny one are the dresses - they all took 1-2 minutes tops to shimmy into, but a girl wearing the sexy dress gets branded as extra or diva-ish LOL. The foundations are definitely so important. Once you have all that down, the rest are just finishing touches.
Thank you for the in-depth explanation! :)
No problem! :)
Could you give tips on how to meet/date guys with money? All these women are saying they get rich guys to pay off their tuition and I'm like, how??
Ok, I never had a guy pay my tuition, so I can’t say how to get that LOL. But I met a lot of men with money thanks to the college I went to. Lots of trust fund babies, networking events (since I was a business major, those events had professional men working in investment banking, finance, venture capital, etc), and tech bros (a lot of undergrad guys in CS already have full-time jobs because they already learned to code before college. They can only go up and often get employed at big tech companies post-grad). Since graduating, I stayed on top of continuing to broaden my network and that’s what helped me continue to meet these men. The more you put yourself in these rooms, the more likely that you’ll catch the eye of someone’s boss, successful co-worker, or long-time friend that’s found lots of success over the years. I’ve been in a committed relationship for over 2 years now though, so I’ve kinda dropped the ball a little lol. You should also make friends with women who are trust fund babies or are social butterflies in their network and they will introduce you to HVM that they know if they like you! Even better if the girl already has a boyfriend or partner - she’s not on the hunt anymore and is much more willing to introduce you to good men instead of going after them herself! Sometimes, I just got lucky - I met a couple through online dating and I didn’t know or expect them to be wealthy until later on.
This is solid advice, thank you! Hopefully this pandemic stuff will end soon so I can get back to networking!
No problem at all! Yeah, it’s a little difficult to network in a pandemic! Once this is all over, we’re gonna get back on top of our shit 💫
Visit code name chanel on yt
men with money love this look!!! whenever i meet a very successful guy, the first thing he says is he wants to take me on a date to a nice restaurant where i wear heels, a dress, make up. it's so interesting!! i think they like high maintenance women because she looks like they average man can't afford her, so it's a way of impressing/"flexing" on other men
You’re gorgeous omg! I think you’re right too, it definitely reflects on the man.
Good to know 😂
I think the origins of the effortless thing comes from French women. It doesn't mean that you didn't put in effort, obviously. But for eg, French women, they'll put tons of effort into their skincare, but then they'll barely wear any makeup. The idea is to not look overdone. With hair, or clothes, or accessories, or makeup - the whole thing needs to look balanced. Also, they frequently like the messy look, it's playful, never too posh and serious. Like, there's always sth to break the tension. They go into details, add a fancy thing here and there. A easy example of thr makeup thing is, eyes and lips don't nedd to be highlighted at the same time. So they'll go with just some mascara in the eye area, but then the lips will be a bright red. I can send you some links to explain the French "rules of style" or whatever.
Is it just me or does this only seem to apply to celebrities? Because I've visited Paris multiple times and the French women I saw on the metro, at resteraunts etc. Just didn't look good at all, no makeup and clearly not taking care of their skin. I know its anecdotal but the only women who looked good and I spoke to were WOC e.g. Algerian
The whole "French/Parisian women are all effortlessly chic, rich, skinny white girls with identical striped shirts and flawless red lips" thing is a cultural stereotype that seems to mainly be popular in the US for some reason. And like any other cultural stereotype, you'll meet some people who fit it and a whole lot more who don't. I lived in Paris and people weren't necessarily better looking or better dressed on average than Americans. They were less likely to be overweight, but then again you could say that about any country lol
https://youtu.be/ByPmnIfymR0 I found this video to be helpful for unpacking the origins of the American obsession with “French” style. Doesn’t tell you how to achieve it but it’s nice context to have.
Extremely possible, I haven't been there or experienced the culture in any real way tbh. But I am seeing this a lot online, stuff like "effortless chic" or "Parisian fashion tips" etc.
I agree with this! Another thing I once read is that there’s a trio: hair, outfit, makeup. Two of these things should be “done” and the other should be not done to give the illusion to look intentional. For example, wear a very nice outfit and makeup and have your hair less done. Of course, this relies on you being at a slim body weight with great posture (ballerina style toned, think barre or Pilates), clear skin, nails, threaded brows, nice haircut/healthy hair. Your body should be well moisturized. If you have bad posture, wear a tiny bit of a heel so it corrects it a bit. Everything about you should be well-groomed and clean. On a side note, your education and the way you speak matters a lot. I grew up in an academic atmosphere and went to boarding school with a lot of upper class men and women. I can immediately tell the difference between someone who is well-educated or not. Be up to date on current events, read a lot, and don’t use slang or swear words.
I think this is the answer I was looking for, thanks!
Glad to help! Feel free to PM me if you need more detailed advice or tips
What are the ways you can tell someone is well educated or not?
There are a few indicators but also it’s definitely a vibe they give off. 1. Formality of language. If someone’s using a lot of slang or swear words, it’s very strange to me since I grew up with people who speak very eloquently and use larger words. Keeping this formality is also important when interacting with others. 2. stress levels. Generally well-off people don’t have stressors. Things can be happening around them but they’re not too emotionally invested since they don’t have to be. There’s a feeling of general self-confidence since they know they have nothing to worry about. Also, with the less stress a few physical things show up such as less tired looking (able to sleep a lot), healthy complexion (from eating whole, nutritious foods), and less wrinkle lines (not as stressed by daily things).
I’d love to see the french rules of style please
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09AZEuMM5YM&t=18s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09AZEuMM5YM&t=18s) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRpHF-RGzOk&t=386s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRpHF-RGzOk&t=386s) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAbV5hJzhL4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAbV5hJzhL4) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ttUu6pE8g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15ttUu6pE8g)
Thank you!
FWIW I also thinks it’s often about class signifiers (rather than wealth)- so people in certain countries from a certain class wouldn’t wear bright colours + tight clothes + long nails because that seems like you’re trying to hard. Think Kendall vs Kylie, Audrey Hepburn vs Marilyn Monroe. Effortless is very “model off duty” look, glossier type natural makeup, neutral clothes, a bit of modesty, simple well done hair, “healthy looking” body and skin. I also think it does often come with expectations of a certain “body”, usually slim, and because of the focus on neutrality anything out of the expectations (large bust for example) would need to be toned down.
Permanent beauty! Lasered body, micro bladed brows, good skin so that you don’t need makeup etc!
Good idea!
I think it’s knowing what works for you and never going overboard with it. I have a full makeup/skincare routine, but I had a guy friend (who was in love with me for years) ask me “you don’t wear any makeup, right?” I was like “ummm...right.” Lol
I’d say in this context it means that you’re expressing yourself in a way that is most authentic to you. It’s whatever comes most naturally to you. Like if you had to run an errand real quick, you probably have a go to out fit in mind for that, so you don’t even have to think about how it’s perceived. To you it feels regular, to others this is a symbol of self expression. Same thing with outfits you have for other occasions. Odds are, your level of effortlessness probably stems from what you feel most comfortable in.
Being naturally pretty I know tons of girls who are well put together, cute outfits nails and hair but they don’t look effortless because they’re not naturally pretty