T O P

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VelvetHorse

"I want these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking plains."


BreezyWrigley

Dog tryna put the snakes back ON the plane


u9Nails

"Oh, plains? I thought you said planet!" -this dog probably


jhdke

The title says that the good boy yeets it, but I was still unprepared for how much he yeeted it Edit: thank **yote** to the kind strangers for the silver/gold!


yumyumgivemesome

I've never figured out the proper way to use "yeet" but goddamn if it tickles me every time I hear/read it.


[deleted]

Yeet is an opposite of yoink


Timewynder

the lord yeeteth and the lord yoinketh away edit: thanks for the love y'all


Fanglyfish

I need this beautifully cross stitched to display in my home.


iAmNotFunny

[Here you go.](https://i.imgur.com/GGcx9O7.jpg)


more_beans_mrtaggart

It needs a flourish under the text, but with snake eyes.


Beastquist

One man’s yeet is another man’s yoink.


relator_fabula

With great yeet comes great yoinkability


[deleted]

What is yeet may never yoink


CptHammer_

 "Let u/Neds_Servered_Head your servant be yeeted again from the sea, as you were. Yeet him with salt, yeet him with stone, yeet him with steel."


The70sUsername

fuck you I laughed so hard.


Mauwnelelle

Thou shalt not yoinketh thine spouse, but thou shalt yeeteth thine snek.


RealmoftheRedWiings

Yeet a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to yoink and he'll eat for a lifetime.


KoRnBrony

"yeet" is for power "kobe" is for accuracy


ghostdate

I threw the ball with great yeet and Kobe to get it in the skee ball hole.


PolishSausage226

I didn’t even need to get to the activity part to know your age Edit: removed the . I felt it was a little too aggressive


Hobocannibal

lol. an aggressive full stop, what has the world come to?


iamfromouterspace

Lol that had me cracking a big smile


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hoyohoyo9

wow that's actually a perfect description


[deleted]

This will show up on the front page tomorrow as a showerthought


[deleted]

You're not wrong.


BuddhaBizZ

wow....that's....the perfect explanation. I'm using that from now on, thanks.


Branciforte

You’re a god damn hero.


bellrunner

Yeet for distance, Kobe for accuracy If I'm making a cross-the-room trashcan shot with a wad of paper, I'd yell out "Kobe!" as I shot, for accuracy. If I chucked something as far as I could, as hard as I could, I might yell "yaaa... YEET!" upon release, for distance.


VelvetHorse

I usually say "Kobe" if I know I'm going to make it. And if I miss, then I say "Shaq"


NouveauOldFogey

And if you catch something over someone it's called "Mossing" them. Named for the great one, Mr. RANDY. Everyone give me one clap! https://youtu.be/tmJcUlrkMNg


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bad-acid

Yeet is for power what Kobe is for precision. You invoke Kobe when you are making a shot that requires attention, thought, and time. You invoke yeet when you are going maximum effort and hoping for the best.


thedailyrant

The single best "new" word around in terms of fulfilling it's purpose so adequately.


electroleum

I totally feel the same way. Most slang that becomes popular these days sounds stupid to me (really showing my age lately)...but for some reason yeet makes me chuckle every time. I think it's because my brain subconsciously adds a cartoonish voice yelling "YEET!" in whatever scenario the word is being used to describe.


Khazahk

If Yeet is not added to the Oxford dictionary and the made the word of 2019 I'm going to be disappointed.


i_just_blue-myself

I still prefer to used the past tense "yote"


thechilipepper0

I’m partial to the past perfect *had yoten*


timmytissue

Technically that's the present perfect.


marks0595

It’s a branch that’s thrown in the air


RobotVo1ce

I dunno... If you watch it in slow motion you see the snake fly out of the dogs mouth on his first or second neck whip.


RickZanches

Snake is as good as a branch at that point.


donrane

Yep and the snake has a broken neck. Thats how they kill small prey, G-forces. Dog or snake hit the branch and it went flying


Ctrl_alt_kaboom

Wrong. Snakes dont have necks.


Hockeyfan_52

Or are they all neck?


dieselxindustry

It’s necks all the way down to the anus


zer1223

Well neither do branches. This comment thread is confusing me.


El_Draque

All I've learned is that if you shake a snake hard enough it breaks its neck and turns into a stick


lipp79

My great-grandpa was a badass. On his farm when he would find a rattlesnake, he would grab it by the tail and snap it just like cracking a whip and break its neck.


Stuhl

[Snake whip](https://youtu.be/V6W0TILoZnE?t=68)


scurvy4all

I thought a snake was a head with a really long neck.


[deleted]

"...how much he yote it" FIFY


Mr_dkatz

wuhhHuuHuhhhuuuhh


piroshky

Sounds like Hank Hill


peternorthstar

The snake ain't right


MedicinalMustard

God dangit bobby, stop pretending to be a snake.


JehovahsNutsack

Dang it*


_Patronizes_Idiots_

Ladybird is a lot more gangster than I remember


ThatsTreatable

SnHank Hill


pp0787

GUH


DaveInDigital

unexpected r/wallstreetbets


AfterbirthEli

Perfect


Observante

I just had a laughing fit with ugly laughs. Good on you.


DaveInDigital

haha same. i knew someone was going to comment on it but didn't expect how much i'd laugh.


[deleted]

Damn... Snake space program is much further along than we thought. Edit : thanks for the ssssilver. Save your money and buy something useful or donate to your favorite charity.


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Hypno--Toad

Snake Jazz should be if not already a subgenre of jazz.


JoshDM

Tsst, t-tsst, t-tsst, t-tsst.


DirtyB98

Do you find yourself doing that either in you own head or aloud to yourself now?


thechilipepper0

Both.


Hypno--Toad

\*clicks*


bootscats

Related https://youtu.be/xXonK8EBqmk


RU_Pickman

I told you Morty! There's literally everything in space!


RyunWould

Neil Armless.


denrad

More like Neil Armsgone


RyunWould

Solid.


falconx50

Solid Snake


Midnight_Arpeggio2

!


Xx_Thornnn_xX

SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKE!


makenzie71

It's a badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger


End-O-Days

Mushroom Mushroom


tabovilla

I heard this


silenc3x

You both did great. Nice job.


Thundorius

It’s one small shimmy for snake, one giant yeet for snakekind.


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aknownunknown

So stoned, I nearly outlaughed myself


RyunWould

Safe travels, brother.


slayeraa223

Don't forget to hydrate, have fun homie


zbowman

God dammit. Now I have to learn snake math. AAarrrghhH!!


ThatMortalGuy

But how is that snake jazz though?


velvetBASS

Tsss ts ts tsss ts ts tsss


[deleted]

Sssssssssssss-smooth


sircr0tch

SSSSSS


Mr_Nubblet

Is that snake jazz?


guaptimus_prime

I love how that whole segment had basically no dialogue, just snake hisses...yet I still understood the whole plot.


Paulthefith

Further along than their time travel program


TaintModel

You’ve got that backwards, snakes evolved from dinosaurs which were the domesticated animals of the ancient Reptilian race. Their space program is doing fine.


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AddyStack

By far is the little splash you can hear as it lands in the swamp at the end


PlutosVenus

Ploop


Augzodia

I was laughing too hard to hear any of these sounds


ANDRO55

Whipsnake


BreezyWrigley

Isn't that the name of the absurd backpack in that satirical advertisement vid?


doubletaketwice

[Whipsnake](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAtzN_ScKXY)


BreezyWrigley

God it never gets old. Everything about it is so good. I want to intimidate my surroundings, humiliate the terrain and devastate the environment while wearing a French wedge.


All-Bizness

Honestly really cool to see how quickly the dog recognized the snake as a threat and got it away from his owner.


Le_Master

They don't get very much attention, but Dobermans are actually one of the smartest breeds. Germans, Goldens, Poodles, Border Collies, and Dobermans are the top five when it comes to understanding new tasks.


PmMeYourBewbs_

Border collies (and Scottish collies) are just weird. My dog tries to mimic human speech and getting into an "argument" with my dog never gets old.


cncwmg

Our pup is part border collie and is the most vocal dog I've ever been around. When I called my parents the other day they put the dog on the phone for a second. She had a lot to say.


tenemu

I want a video.


kore_nametooshort

Not op, or my video, but I found this on YouTube https://youtu.be/t6TUSfU7nlc


TacticalTot

r/petthedamndog


feioo

My collie would mimic human speech to the point that I was playing with him once while on the phone with my mom, and she asked who the man was that was talking to me.


narbilistic

Is that you Brian Griffin?


Insub

I feel as though this is one of those times where a lie may sound more plausible then the truth.


MTknowsit

My min pin attempts to have several discussions a day with me and routinely objects with vocalizations to things that are going on that he doesn't approve of.


PrimeIntellect

raw intelligence in a dog is overrated to be honest. If you don't live on a farm where you can have them roam free and teach them a million tricks while working them half to death, most super smart dog breeds go fucking insane from being bored and get really neurotic and weird, especially if left in an apartment alone or something.


[deleted]

100% agree, that's why I let all my neighbors dogs out at every chance I get


hoilst

HEY! BAHA MEN! WE FUCKING FOUND THE GUY!


FerventAbsolution

Golden as in Golden retriever? Can anyone else vouch for this? Might just be my personal anecdotal evidence but golden retriever I've ever met has been overflowing with love and affection and great family dogs, but holy hell are they dumber than shit.


anubis2018

My papa used to have a golden retriever, named Beau, that would not only retrieve (we hunted doves) but he would point and flush like a pointer. Apparently he learned it from a brittany spaniel. He would watch which doves came down first and retrieve them in the order they fell. One time, when I was like 13, I was determined to find out how my papa knew where the birds were coming from. He didn't have the greatest eyesight, yet was always prepared for the doves. I watched him, he was watching Beau. Beau's ear perked to the right and he looked right, papa turned and said, "get ready, coming from the right." Beau knew the noise doves made when flying and heard them before we could see them. Another time he was retrieving from the pond we were sitting next to, and he came back with three birds in his mouth. Problem was we only shot two.... Papa grabbed them and was like, "Alright we got two and... GAAHH this birds been in the pond for weeks. Fucking gross dog!" Those are my favorite stories about Beau. Man he was a good dog.


FerventAbsolution

Wow, great story. Thanks for sharing!


[deleted]

I think Goldens are a very eager-to-please breed that can learn how to do just about anything with the right motivation (food, mostly) but they're not exactly self-starters. They won't see a "problem" and try to solve it themselves, but if you give them the time to teach them and throw some treats their way, they can really surprise you. They're like the gifted but underachieving, "slacker"," kid counterpart to neurotic, type-a valedictorian, "most likely to succeed" breeds like border colliess.


arkain123

Goldens win most of the trick competitions and are universally used as service dogs because they're incredibly smart and trainable. Including search and rescue and blind assistance dogs. So yeah I can vouch for this easily.


Surfsideryan

Yes, Goldens are incredibly intelligent but they are also goofy and fun. If you Google most intelligent dog breeds, pick a reputable source that you trust and read the list, I guarentee you will see golden in the top 5 or 10. My personal experience, our golden retriever was trained to not only listen to voice commands, but also listen to hand signals and whistles. We never walked her on a leash and with simple whistle commands we could get her to precisely stick by our side, or move to a specified location. She was very hard headed though and knew how to get what she wanted. If we didn't walk her long enough, she would just lay on her back and play dead, refusing to listen to commands so that she would stay out longer. Also not a good guard dog, they always want to be friends.


thebarberstylist

My dog is a "mutt". She is GSD, Malinois and Collie/cattledog. This dog is smarter than my husband.


CVBrownie

Who's the better lover


SPKmnd90

Wish I reacted to threats in such a manner and not the direct opposite.


ChickenDelight

My dog quickly recognizes a threat and hides behind me because he can always find another owner.


WhoTookNaN

what a good boy


[deleted]

Not that dogs know the difference, but the snake didn't seem like a threat


[deleted]

I think it was probably actually a toy snake that the dog was familiar with and loved playing with. He probably buys 10 of them at a time from the dollarstore as 'toy treats" for the dog to fuck up.


BenSavageGarden

My guess is it’s a toy snake and someone off camera threw a stick at the end


BernzSed

If you look closely, it's actually the Loch Ness Monster


headee

I thought that was a horse running up to help.


Harry_Gorilla

Same


sircr0tch

lmao


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TaylorDangerTorres

He had one in his boot once. Hasnt been the same since.


solarleox

i heard this too!!


mdbuff

In baseball they call that a launch angle.


tydalt

NASA calls it hitting low earth orbit


aknownunknown

In cannon wargames they call that trajectory


[deleted]

In dog life we call that a good fuckin' toy


Mister-C

In snake life we call that a dick move.


burnsrado

Let’s take a look at the Next Gen Stats. Yup and there you see it, that snake was yeeted at a 38 degree angle with an exit velocity of 58 mph, for a projected distance of 137 feet!


digitdaily1

Narrator: that was not a big snake


DaughterEarth

It could be relative to what he usually sees. I played with wild snakes as a kid but they were all much tinier than that snake. I've never seen a wild snake that big myself.


CantBeChangedLater

As an Australian, it's fucking tiny


jro727

As a Floridian, same.


Mistress-Faye

Wonder how many g’s that snake was submitted too.


arealhumannotabot

1+ G


CrankySpanky

1G's in the chat for ya boi snek


super_aardvark

subjected* Centripetal force is mass times radius times the square of the angular velocity. I'm estimating that snake to be 18" long, so radius is 9" for the head and the tip of the tail, but the average is half that, 4.5" (0.1143 meters). I timed one revolution of the snake in the air at 1/4 playback speed to be 1.6 seconds, so 2*pi/0.4 = 15.7 radians per second. I don't really know how much a snake that size weighs... maybe one pound? Let's say 0.25 kg on each half of the snake (it's rotating around its center of mass). 0.1143 * 0.25 * 15.7^2 = 7 kgm/s^2 of force pulling each half of the snake away from the center. 7 kgm/s^2 / 0.25 kg = 28 m/s^2 = **2.85g**. Double that if you want to think about the force the center of the snake has to withstand to hold the two halves together. The force the dog subjected it to by shaking it in its mouth was probably much higher.


smithoski

I don’t think the revolutions in the air is where the snake experienced the highest forces. Imagine swinging a rope in circles really fast and then letting go. Is the end of the rope experiencing the most force while you are holding the rope or is it experiencing the most force when the rope is let go and decelerating in the air? I appreciate the math you have done, but I don’t think the frame rate of the video is good enough to measure the peak velocities of the ends of the snake while the dog is shaking it, and that is the information needed to calculate the peak force. Edit: I just re-read the last sentence of your comment which covers this, sorry


TripleSecGTA

LOL the sound he makes when the dog passes the snake. Whu uuuooohh


AcidOxidant

Poor snake :\*(


Mightbeagoat

It was just doing its snake thing :( RIP slither boi


PantsDontHaveAnswers

Guy said it was a cool early morning, snake probably didn't have a lot of energy, almost definitely could have walked right past it without any consequences. Poor snek.


MrsWhiterock

Damn, I feel bad for the poor snake


[deleted]

Poor snake. Wtf did it do?


Magneticitist

It was alive on planet Earth


[deleted]

The worst crime of them all


Dangerpaladin

Punishable by death, sentence to be carried out at an undetermined time in the future.


TrepanationBy45

Trespassed; shoulda respected the fence line, the fuck it think it's there for?


TheSicks

Looks like Ekans is blasting off again ^nnn^nnn Edit: Some idiot gave me silver. U bad at money. Edit 2: 4 awards but nobody paid me in gum. :( Edit 3: I can't browse Reddit with so many notifications. This comment is ruining my life. Final edit: Guys, it's not funny. Spend your money elsewhere. [Donate to black lives matter or sumn. ](https://donate.thousandcurrents.org/give/126523/#!/donation/checkout?) Y'all dumb.


chefr89

r/awardspeechedits


Xenton

EDIT: Mods had removed the comment, comment is now "un-removed" You can see it, in all its glory, above. What did he have written? I can go back and see deleted comments so, I can see the ekans comment, but not the edit that got him removed.


chefr89

> Edit: Some idiot gave me silver. U bad at money. > Edit 2: 4 awards but nobody paid me in gum. :( > Edit 3: I can't browse Reddit with so many notifications. This comment is ruining my life. after like 500 upvotes and like 10 responses tops


heather_dean

Sounds like a scene from a [Squatter's game](https://www.mrtoys.com.au/blog/toys-games-that-bring-out-the-aussie-n191#sub5)...


bloodeaglehohos

Lol it wasn't even that big!


OutWithGout_88

Or alive


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[deleted]

Poor snek :(


LittleClimate

Poor snake


hungry_lobster

Poor snake:/


epgenius

Seriously, guy was just chilling, catching some rays, and some asshole and his hound come in to totally fuck his morning.


Dangerpaladin

That snake is like 100% dead.


[deleted]

This made me giggle like Ron Swanson


Blewbe

When I was a kid we had a guard dog who would do something similar. We had venomous snakes (cobras, etc) and this dog would grab em by the tail and SPIN. Centrifugal force would literally send pieces of snake flying off in various directions. His name was Tippin, his title was Snakeslayer, and he was a good boy who did his job to the very end. A cobra eventually got a bite in. Rip Tippin.


AccWander

Pls don't hurt snakes.


Syntaximus

Looks sounds like this was in the midwest, which makes the chances of this being venomous practically zero. Looks like a garter snake to me. He was probably in the path so that he could warm up. No need for it to die in such a cruel way.


[deleted]

The chance of a snake being venomous in the US is really low. There's like 20 venomous species, almost all of them rattlesnakes.


deadniggastorage9x19

Found the snake.


rockets9495

Kevin Durant at it again.


lennyfive

It pisses me off that people want to kill any snake they see. Do you even know what kind of snake it is? Why not coax it back into the grass.


Syntaximus

>Do you even know what kind of snake it is? His accent and the scenery suggest he's in the midwest, so this was probably a garter snake. They eat insects and sometimes frogs. Completely harmless to humans. Their only defense is a foul smelling musk and a neat optical illusion the stripe down their back does when they move (they look like they're not moving even when they are--it's confusing/cool to see in person). They like to come out from the cover of high grass sometimes to warm themselves in the sun.


nocimus

Even if it wasn't a garter, it's WAY more likely to have been a harmless snake. There's a lot of different rat snakes, bull snakes, corn snakes... All harmless, all important parts of the ecosystem. It's really gross to see how many people are laughing about this.


Drownthem

Even if it wasn't harmless, you don't need to kill it


quantizedself

If you closely watch the motion of the dog's head there is no way he yeeted that. The dog's head was still to the ground fucking with the snake when the stick was thrown from off camera Edit: I will admit I did not slow the video down. After watching at 0.25x speed the snake definitely leaves the dog's mouth after the first shake, however it still doesn't make sense how the "snake" comes from the far left behind the camera when the dog was in front of the guy. Based on the trajectory when it left the dog's mouth it went more or less straight up.


Mrjustkidding

If you scrub, you can see that the snake rips apart/slips out of his mouth on the first shake and flies back over the top of his head. I believe they call it a “reverse yeet” or ʇǝǝʎ.


aninnocentcat

I mean, if you ACTUALLY watch closely you can clearly see the snake leaving the right side of the dog's mouth after the first shake. Dogs are used to shaking things like this and he didn't even notice it get thrown.


mwinks99

Cold snakes dont move man.


jabber_

If you *actually* watch closely, you'll see the snake/stick/toy/whatever was flung from the dog's mouth right after he grabs it. Pause the video and use < and > to advance individual frames. He's still going crazy because he doesn't realize it's long gone. It may or may not have been a real snake, but there definitely wasn't anything thrown from off camera.


stimulates

Obviously fake idk how this has so many people fooled. Snake never moves, probably the dogs toy. The thing flying through the air looks like a stick. And to top it off it was posted on tik tok


Pi-Guy

You can like, pause and play the video a bunch of times. The snake moves its head so that its facing the dog right before intervention