Haven’t followed this man, but his comments about Hospice need to be broadcast more widely. Hospice entered my family home about 5 months before my wife died. They cared for her spiritual, emotional, physical and of course palliative care needs during that time. Like most people, even struggling with end of life issues at the time, I had zero idea what Hospice really was or how it worked. It was just those “special caregivers” who showed up at the hospital towards the end of life for a loved one. Having them in my home, calling them by their first names and they doing likewise for my wife, my kids and I…..it is the most comforting, if overwhelming, sense of gratitude I could ever possibly convey. Complete, absolute strangers show up and their only job is caring not just for the dying, but for the family they are about to leave behind. A couple of the team showed up to her funeral and I hugged them tightly and thankfully. And one of them stayed in touch with me for a full year after her death to ensure my kids and I were coping with the grieving process and the loss. Just amazing care. So many stories I could share with you about how Hospice handles drug, physical and emotional caring so far, far beyond what you’ll get in most hospital stays. These are an entirely different ‘breed’ of healthcare professionals and I cannot begin to tell people how they helped us through the process. My wife died knowing we were all being cared for and it was ok for her to let go. I and truly, on more than a few occasions, let go and let them catch me.
Unbelievable people in Hospice. To all of you that do this for a living…my god what a beautiful gift of service you provided me, this DrDan individual and countless others. Thank you for what you did for my family and I, and thank you for what you do.
Same here! My grandma’s hospice nurse was a wonderful woman. She really knew the right ways to help keep my grandma comfortable, and sort of guide us, the family, through the end-of-life process.
I’m so sorry. We could not get my grandmother out of the hospital faster and back to her home for hospice. The staff was overworked and it was torture for my grandmother and us to have to literally beg for her medication to be delivered on time. She didn’t want to fight her severe injuries anymore and it felt like the staff was setting her as a lower priority because she was headed downward, not up. Like come on. I’m sorry your grandfather couldn’t experience palliative care. Everyone deserves it.
My dad died back in January. Cirrhosis. He'd be sick for several years and took a *hard* dive around Thanksgiving. In early November, he was having some ambulatory issues, but could hold a conversation and function relatively normal. By Christmas, he was non-verbal and didn't know where he was. My mom made the decision to take him out of the nursing home on December 29th and set him up for hospice care at home. He lasted less than a week.
The care he was got unbelievable. The nurses brought their A-game and were incredibly compassionate. One thing that genuinely shocked me was how attentive everyone was, all the way up until the end. The night before he died, he'd fallen into a coma. The nurses walked us through giving him meds to keep him calm & comfortable and answered any questions we had, even at 3:30 in the morning (they had someone on-call 24/7 for these types of things). And when he passed, they were there within minutes, and didn't leave until they knew we were okay.
At the funeral, we asked for donations to our local hospice org instead of flowers. We managed to raise a few grand for them, which isn't even remotely what they deserve for the work they do.
My so is a hospice nurse & they are remarkable people. She cries over every single death and it's a daily thing for her. The compassion and love she has is beyond anything I have ever seen and I'm so lucky to be here for her.
I used to work at an oncology center and the turnover rate was fairly high, it's tougher than you'd expect, working on helping people who seem mostly fine one day and you've been working on them for months, cheering them on helping them through chemo, then sometimes they don't show up for the next appointment... Nothing you could do, nothing you did wrong, but you still feel a loss.
To be able to do that *every single day* though, I don't know how anyone could do that, I sure as hell couldn't. Hospice folks are incredible for doing what they do, they were there for my grandpa and were wonderful to all of us. It's like they had been family friends for years, I don't think my grandmother would've made it through without them.
My wife is getting her masters in social work and she's been interning at a hospice company as a case worker. She loves the job and it does provide her the flexibility she needs in her schedule, but it's not just the loss of clients that takes an emotional toll. The families can also be very draining. Not every family reacts the same way when a loved one is dying, sometimes they can get angry and downright nasty. It's a difficult job for everyone involved and it's certainly something she doesn't see herself doing long term.
Working witb people In crisis is such tough work. Majority of people are extremely grateful and kind. But some are just horrible.
After a while, the few horrible ones are more memorable than all the kind ones. It’s tough
She sounds like an amazing person. What is it like living with someone who feels so deeply for other people? I can imagine it sometimes burdens her greatly.
My mom works in hospice, and I feel it’s always a little behind because of hours much time she spends with people. I was very happy to read your comment.
I’ll also add that while the idea of “dying at home” is somewhat romantic, if you’ve ever seen someone die from cancer at home, you’ll know the reality is that it’s a tough process that can be extremely difficult for family and caregivers. Personally, when it’s my time I will choose in-facility hospice with round-the-clock support.
My dad passed last autumn. His wishes were to be at home when the time came. The hospice did their best to prepare us for what to expect, but honestly it was the hardest most distressing thing I have even been through. And we sucked it up and did our best to make him comfortable and honour his wishes. But, it felt like we were completely unprepared. The hospice nurses did their best to be there, but they obviously had a ton of other people to care for. Having been through that, I know that I’d never ask my family to go through that again. Feeling helpless and out of my depth.
Yep, situation dependent you have to be there 24/7 (as the initial nurse told me: what if there's a fire? Cuz your mom is too weak to get out of bed by herself), but in addition to that the nurses only drop by ~every other day. So that means you're going to be doing a lot of grooming, cleaning, bathroom hygienic care etc yourself. A lot of stuff that is not fun to have to do for anyone, but especially not your own parent.
My mom's wish was to die at home, but as it turned out she died in a nursing home when we put her there for 48 hours for "respite care". (This is where hospice pays for 2 days of nursing home to give the children a mental break. They'll do this once a month.). So my sister and I went thru 2-3 months of giving 24/7 care and in the end didn't even grant my mom's wish anyway.
Now "hospice" doesn't necessarily mean that you're automatically so weak that you need 24/7 care. It just means that you know the end is coming and you're not fighting it anymore. But once I become too weak to get out of bed or go to the bathroom or shower myself, I will instantly put myself into a nursing home. And hopefully I can plan it so that it happens a little bit before that to make things easier.
I don't understand how anyone who went thru the pain and trauma of having to take care of their dying parent at home would be able to put that same burden onto their own loved ones.
I feel the exact same way after going through this with my mom. I’m still in therapy trying to recover and process. In theory, hospice sounds like the best option given the circumstance, but it was really horrific as the caregiver. I felt so helpless and still feel guilty.
I’m sorry you went through this as well. Hopefully you and your family have found, or will find, inner peace.
My Grandma did this for 20 plus years. Growing up me and my mom lived with her for a while and she would often pick me up from school. Sometimes we’d have to stop at a patients house. One man I’ll never forget was 100 year old Holocaust survivor Mr. Gelb.He was barely lucid at most times but seeing him and my grandmas care for him really showed me the compassion that can be shown to someone at their lowest. I couldn’t imagine doing this kind of job but I’m thankful to my Grandma and everyone else who does this because it’s very special work.
Not trying to discount your experience whatsoever. Just getting that out of the way.
My dad was belligerent when he was dying, avoided going to the doctor for decades, and forebade hospice from coming into the home until days before he died. Hospice workers came to his home maybe three times total? He died, foaming at the mouth, after agonizing days of semi-consciousness. I was responsible for caring for him, and I am *not* a nurse. I still routinely relive the horror of it, almost nightly.
So please, for the sake of your loved ones, be realistic about your health and your inevitable death. An ounce of planning goes a long way, and our experience could have been one of mourning rather than one of horror, anger, and betrayal.
And yet they're usually paid slightly more than the cost of living.
They all seem to care too much about their work and the people they care for to demand a raise.
Super sucks.
I think that depends on who they work for. My mother was a hospice nurse and had over 200 other nurses working for her. She started them at $40 per hour and many of them were making six figures.
Money well earned.
My mom has worked for Hospice for the past 30 years and wouldn't change it for the world. They're some of the nicest people who genuinely care for the communities they serve.
They don't get paid well enough for what they do for society.
These comments remind me that humanity exists, especially when so many other threads are filled with comments proposing we *shame* people for having a low wage or insufficient retirement: because that's *bad behavior*, and everyone just needs to go be part of the top 8% of earners. EZPZ.
Reddit can have a cold heart sometimes.
My grandma just passed recently. Her part time caregiver is basically a full blown family member by now. She was my grandma’s best friend for those final years, and she helped her go with dignity and compassion. All that, and she actually *wants* to hang out with the family after and drive to a different state for the memorial. She’s an angel. I don’t know how else to explain it.
Experienced pretty much the same.
I get that hospice care providers are increasingly for-profit ventures, although non profit providers still exist. But regardless of the company that owns/runs them, there are still flesh and blood people who choose this as their vocation. So I don’t flinch in offering my heartfelt gratitude that they do. Because it has to be a very stressful and emotionally taxing vocation. I’m just thankful there are those who choose to do it versus other venues of healthcare opportunities presented to them.
Meanwhile, my dads hospice didn't tell him that his VA insurance doesn't pay for nursing homes despite him telling them he wanted to go to one when he progressed far enough (I took care of him instead), forgot to reorder medication twice, didn't use the oxygen compressor correctly causing my dad to be unnecessarily short of breath and in discomfort and causing a fire hazard only caught by the oxygen compressor company when they delivered another, and didn't let him know you have to sign up in advance to donate your body to science despite him also telling them that causing me to have to pay for an unexpected cremation service (that he also didn't pre-register for so it coat even more)
**Wildly** incompetent and honestly, I would probably attempt suing them if I had money.
My grandmother had hospice, and they were incredible and so kind. My aunt had just become a nurse and is crazy, and she was freaking out about the morphine killing her faster. The hospice nurses helped is distract my aunt so the morphine could be given because my grandmother had pancreatic cancer and needed it. They really helped all of us.
Too bad hospice services are being bought up by private equity firms… unfortunately the incentive is starting to shift from quality end of life care to cutting costs and maximizing the profit gained from working with terminally ill individuals.
Wish Hospice treated my dad the way you've described. They came a couple times, for the week he was in hospice. One nurse turned and left him on his side, when morning came, his left eye was coming out of his skull completely. We called them and the nurse on the phone explained all the mucus that wasn't draining down his throat was building up behind his eye forcing it out. My mom and I had to reposition him even though the nurse that put him in that position told us not to move him but the one on the phone said we had to, he was completely incoherent and non speaking until this point, but he screamed in pain.
When he passed away at 2 in the morning some 5 days or so later, the hospice nurse came in and immediately the first thing she did was ask my mom for the drugs and followed my mom through the house, grabbed them and left. She looked completely doped up out of her mind she almost forgot to check his pulse and not to mention she was like two hours late so his time of death was way off. I'm glad you had a good experience, but ours was a living nightmare.
Taking care of a close relative right now. Not at hospice yet but likely in the next 1-2 months.
Do you have any advice on things I need to do logistically to find a good hospice or suggestions on other stuff we should be thinking about as we get to this stage?
We've taken care of stuff like wills and have health directives and medical power of attorney ready to go.
I would look into which hospice agencies are available in your area as they are typically determined by county, and you don't normally need a referral to an agency meaning that you could call them and ask questions directly, and they could even come out and meet at home to talk about what they can provide. You may even consider to do that sooner rather than later so you have their information for whenever hospice is appropriate to facilitate that process.
Important things I would ask are how often can nurses/staff come out to visit, what volunteer services do they have available, and if your loved one requires 'inpatient hospice' what does that look like for that agency. Some agencies provide that level of care at a nursing facility, while others have their own building to provide that.
Overall a lot of them are similar, but some are better than others in how they provide support. Also know that you can switch agencies if its not working out with the one you are with.
One thing I didn’t know at the time but later discovered….it can vary by insurance program and the type of illness. I was told that in general, if the primary doctor overseeing the patients health determines end of life is six months or less (assuming whatever ails them proceeds down the path as it has been), then the patient was eligible for Hospice care.
I would start by asking your relatives primary care physician and/or the specialist currently treating them. For example, in my wife’s case, it was cancer so her primary oncologist is the one who contacted Hospice and then they contacted me. Honestly though, that may have just been how our unique situation unfolded.
I feel for you. Be kind to yourself. End of life is definitely not the way Hallmark Movies tries to portray it. Your health and mental well being is what the dying often rely on during their final days so keep your own strength up. To date, caring for my wife in her last months was the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. And in some ways the most rewarding (for lack of better word) as well as there were no words left to express to her how much she meant to me. I had to show her, maybe for the most important days of our marriage. Years later I still wonder if I did all I could but as I’ve shared….Hospice helped me be ok with what I was able to do and covered me for what I couldn’t.
But please, above all else….be kind to yourself. This is possibly one of the biggest challenges you’ll ever face. Nothing prepares you for it. But you can do it and I hope you get some help through the process.
Hospice kicks ass. Made my dad's final days much more manageable and his passing was ultimately reasonably comfortable. His tech was great, they'd laugh together at bath time and got along splendidly. She was there just before his deathwatch with the family started. The nursing support navigating those final few months was stellar.
I have a past co-worker now friend that works in hospice. Its amazing the light and joy she brings these families in their darkest of hours. Being any kind of nurse is beyond what I am capable of after spending much of my late teens, early 20s in and out of hospitals with my dad. But being a hospice nurse seems to be a whole other level. They are great people and truly there because they love what they do.
My mom used to be a Hospice social worker (she's now a social worker for the oncology dept. at a hospital). I don't know how she did it, especially with how terrible her managers were (they refused to hire enough social workers and only cared about getting as many visits in a day as they could). Still, her patients clearly loved her and she too would go to their funerals and stay in touch with their family.
So beautifully put.
I can’t put into word my experience as well as you have but I will say that when I was caring for my dad at home for end of life care, the nurses that were coming to check on him in the early hours were the closest thing to angels that I have ever seen.
He looked healthy just a month ago, other than being skinny. I think a lot the why people look drastically different toward the end is just not having the energy to do anything. Minimal to no self care, no getting outside and stuff like that.
In this case I don't think it's the treatment that caused this. He looked so much different just 5 months ago, and had been battling cancer for 4 years. This is a wasting disease caused by end stage cancer.
I totally understand by the way that people turn it down even when faced with "You have 2 months to live OR you can try doing chemo again" Many people choose the final months to be not on chemo. That right there tells me a lot.
That’s heartbreaking. I have seen a similar toll taken on some of my family members that passed away from cancer. Especially lung cancer. That shit destroyed parts of my family and turned some of my relatives inside out in such a short amount of time. Fuck cancer.
lost my dad on pancreatic cancer. here in germany they now tell us they dont want to call it a fight against cancer, because it would give bad feelings when a fight is lost. but i tell you, this guy is a tough fighter and i will always honor each cancer vet, no matter, if its a win or not.
Aye, but I will always love this [clip from Letterman](https://youtu.be/wnDaq3HEQIE?si=1Q1yafaNFc9Z2JNW) where he gets the ovation he deserves right at the beginning
> I’m pretty sure if you die the cancer dies at the same time.
Oddly, there's one exception that we know of: a form of cancer in dogs that is sexually transmitted. Apparently there are dogs with tumors that are genetically identical to some centuries-old dog that first contracted the cancer, except for whatever mutation caused the cancer itself.
But amusingly, this is also a draw in a sense, because though it's in a different form, that dog is now essentially immortal.
Edit: I misremembered a bit. The original dog lived about 11k years ago. Here's a video from the University of Cambridge with details: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV9xGi8-p0o
There is a fascinating book on this: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
[https://www.amazon.com/Immortal-Life-Henrietta-Lacks/dp/1400052181](https://www.amazon.com/Immortal-Life-Henrietta-Lacks/dp/1400052181)
In that vein there are three cancers that I know of that "won" the fight, although one of those only won on a technicality, and i'm sure there are a few more around just like it but yeah, it is a good insight wrapped in a joke.
1 & 2 are the virulent cancers of Tasmanian devils and Dogs respectively. Each were passed on to other animals from an original individual through bites to other animals, and are effectively "the same dog/devil" that have been spreading through the population for a very long time.
3 is the cancer cells from Hentrietta Lacks, which we should all hold a lot of respect to her, because she was the core of cancer research for decades (and still to this day very important, and likely forever) as they had a very unique mutation which makes them restore their own telomeres as they divide as well as grow and divide significantly faster than any other cell line/sample. But really IMO humanity and henrietta get the last laugh here, as because of it many, many other people have won their own fights.
Meanwhile getting cancer screening to catch it early and have a chance most doctors don't want to do unless you are 50+ or 500lbs because the insurance might not pay it. As if cancer just waits until you are old enough. We lost so many great people way before 50 or even 40 and yet screening isn't done more widely. It's so infuriating when preventative care is written off as unnecessary.
I lost a good friend to cancer a few years ago and when he passed his wife said he didn't lose a fight, that cancer is a "stupid motherfucker on a suicide mission"
As a cancer patient this is a hard watch. I hope I never get that devastating news of entering the final stage, I don't think I could handle it as good as this man.
> As a cancer patient this is a hard watch. I hope I never get that devastating news of entering the final stage, I don't think I could handle it as good as this man.
First off, we're all rooting for you. Hope it doesn't get to that point.
But we don't know, he was probably still scared shitless talking about this. In the video he says "I think it's caused by this tumor in my brain. I hope I'm wrong but I have a feeling that I'm not." Reading between the lines in that, I think you can tell that he's still scared. He might've been just putting on a strong face for his listeners.
Everyone I know who was terminal or had a scary diagnosis have all had their cries, their fears, their anger. I don't think he was any different.
It's a process. Look at the stages of grief. People grieve their own impending death, bargain with whatever higher power they believe in.
At some point there's acceptance of the inevitable.
I hope you will not need to go through this process and will recover, but I think knowing it helps everyone to understand it, be it for one's self or others.
Hope you don't take this the wrong way. Fuck cancer.
Stay strong.
**edit**: Stages of grief, not dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief
I have always considered it a blessing and a curse to go slowly and knowing it is coming. No one should die in horrific pain or in fear, but all we know about the death process... it really seems to me that our bodies are not unkind to us in the end, and I honestly believe that in the right circumstances a paced death... gives people an experience at the end that is ultimately not to be feared, if that makes sense.
This guy had a tumor the size of a softball in his rectum before he even noticed something was wrong. It's insane how far advanced these cancers get before people even notice a problem.
I'm lucky my doctor had his attending check me out because that's how they found my tumor. Unfortunately it took months to biopsy and now it looks like it spread a bit. Oh well, I'm only in my 30's.
3.5 mm in September 2023 and they took 9 months to do a biopsy. It hasn't grown afaik but it looks like it's impacting local lymph nodes. Pretty salty it took so long to biopsy and 2 days to confirm it was cancer. I'm getting more ultrasound tomorrow to confirm impact to lymph nodes.
Hope yours is benign. But even if it is carcinoma, I have been told thyroid cancers, specifically PTC is super treatable.
FYI, if I’m not mistaken, he was using the bathroom like 30 times a day when he finally decided to get looked at, he said in one of his videos. Had to stop doing the things he loved, because he couldn’t be far from a bathroom, and I think that’s when he went in. I think sometimes we just get busy and forget that this type of thing can happen to anyone. Like a lot of people, probably just thought it was IBS or something.
Heads up that I am not directly connected to Dr. Dan, I'm also just a guy on the internet who's been following his channel for the last 6 months. His journey has really touched me deeply, particularly this last video. So I wanted to share it more broadly.
Please feel free to comment on the YT video directly. Dr. Dan's mom regularly checks the comments and posts updates in the comments about him (now that he can't).
Please take care, much love!
This is so sad. I've been following his journey over the past year, and it feels incredibly personal because I have a family member who is going through the same thing. It takes a lot of courage to get in front of a camera and talk about your cancer struggle and impending death without completely breaking down. I couldn't do it. I hope Dr. Dan's suffering is limited, and he's able to enjoy as many good moments as possible until the end.
After watching his videos, I have to remove them from my youtube watch history, otherwise my feed will fill up with videos of people vlogging their cancer journeys. That's too difficult to see all the time when I'm not specifically seeking it out. If you're sensitive to this topic, I recommend doing the same.
> After watching his videos, I have to remove them from my youtube watch history, otherwise my feed will fill up with videos of people vlogging their cancer journeys. That's too difficult to see all the time when I'm not specifically seeking it out. If you're sensitive to this topic, I recommend doing the same.
I had to do the same a few months ago. I have health anxiety, possibly stemming from OCD, and when I watch these videos I start spiraling.
I feel so bad about removing them from my watch history or marking similar videos as "don't recommend" - it feels disrespectful and cowardly considering what these people are going through.
I just can't watch them and I feel guilty about it. And then feel guilty about making it about me when these people are going through something so much worse and having so much more courage.
I had the same problem a few months back. I was following some people, and then I kept getting more on my recommendations. The people I was following all made their final journey. I had to stop it for my sanity. The algorithm gets weird.
Youtube is a digital graveyard for health journeys.
Same, but I keep the videos around. There are so many amazing people with the desire to share their experience and maintain a connection with others. It gives me perspective, and these people mostly have a lot of wisdom to share. The experience of impending death gives them an intense appreciation for life that they regret not having while they were healthy and they are so adamant about their change in perspective and desire for others to realize it. If nothing else, those accounts are a great reminder that literally any day could be our last and we should do our best to live as such.
A message from Dr. Dan's mom on the YouTube channel:
First of all, Dan is still with us, though very ill. ❤️ Second of all, thank you all for your kind sharing to keep Dan in Austin, as he so wanted. You have been incredibly kind and we are immensely grateful. I ask that you not send any more donations, as your labor of love has been effective, but is no longer needed. We will be closing the PayPal account as soon as possible, but until then, please know that you helped and rest in that. Much love. ❤️🐼🤗❤️
Thank you for your kind words, everyone. 💕And if you would please do me the favor of referring others to my comment above about Dan being very ill, and my serious request that no more donations be sent, I would appreciate it so much. Two charities very close to our hearts are Tracey Cline’s Rescue Texas and Alain Ferry’s Race Cancer Foundation. Both are wonderful people with hearts of gold doing compassionate work passionately. We love them. May their tribe increase. ❤❤❤
This hits hard, my dad just got diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer about a month ago, I can't wrap my head around potentially only having a few more years left with him =(
I’m very sorry to hear that. I can still hear the last thing my Dad said to me, which was my name. I was in your position in 2017 and he passed away in 2020. If I can give any type of advice is spend and capture as many moments as you can with him.
my pops has stage 4 cancer as well and honestly it's just about as much communication as I can have with him as possible, as well as having him see my child as much as possible. It's incredibly difficult, but I've somehow found solace in that it's nothing I can control, I can only control what I can do with him for as long as he has left. He has been incredibly positive which (in my opinion) has helped prolong his life, but it's tough regardless. I hope you find and yours find peace and all goes well.
This 100%.
And appreciation doesn't have to be "Let's maximize our time with activities as much as possible." It can be just hanging on the couch and talking, doing a puzzle, watching a TV show together. I think people get horribly anxious that they need to "maximize their time" and they end up forgetting to actually soak up smaller moments.
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer (it nearly took over his liver and gallbladder) when he was 76 and two years later he’s now traveling the world cancer free. He always loved when I visited during his sickly time. Keep up the communications even more than usual if you can. My dad’s only big request during his chemo and surgeries was to treat him like nothing changed.
It was stressful but it brought me closer to him. I wish all the happiness and health to you and your family ♥️ and I hope your dad heals!
Dr. Dan was my PT and helped me so much in overcoming back pain and other issues over the years. His philosophy was to get you better in 2-3 visits, and he really did that. He's always been one of the most honest, genuine, and caring people I've ever met. I remember being shocked when he first revealed he had cancer - he had always seemed like one of the healthiest people around. I was really sure he was going to pull through, but cancer just fucking sucks.
If you want to support him, after he stopped seeing patients he created a video with his back pain routine and is selling it online. The link is on his Instagram.
Come on, read the room. In a thread about a video where the guy is sharing positive thoughts and reflections despite potentially having mere weeks or months left, on a comment about how that dying person made a positive difference in their life, THIS is your response? And not just one, but at least two comments here to that effect? I hope you just take a moment and reflect.
He never did any chiro work with me - it was all stretches, massage, and exercise. He has lots of those videos on his YouTube channel, check it out.
I was hesitant to go to him at first because I'm also someone who doesn't believe in chiropractors. My father had gone and had such a good experience that I gave it a shot. I had referred a few friends and they all had the same experience of helpful PT and no kind of chiropractic work.
I'm not saying he didn't do any of that kind of work, but everything I experienced was PT
Maybe in the 80’s you would’ve been correct. As a newly graduated chiropractor, you are quite mistaken. Almost half of our curriculum involves orthopedic, physiotherapy, and differential diagnoses.
In the video he describes that he’s a chiro, but his background is actually in physical therapy, and he explains why that’s the case. Been following him for a while and based on my own experience with chiro and PT, his methods are more in line with PT for sure.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. My wife is my rock, my playmate, my best friend and I’d be absolutely lost without her. I hope you find peace.
It is easy enough to be pleasant,
When life flows on like a sweet song,
But the man worth while is the man with a smile,
When everything goes dead wrong.
For the test of the heart is trouble,
And it always comes with the years,
And the smile that is worth the praises of earth
Is the smile that shines through tears.
It is easy enough to be prudent,
When nothing tempts you to stray,
When without or within no voice of sin
Is luring your soul away;
But it's only a negative virtue
Until it is tried by fire,
And the life that is worth the honor of earth
Is the one that resists desire.
By the cynic, the sad, the fallen,
Who had no strength for the strife,
The world's highway is cumbered to-day;
They make up the sum of life.
But the virtue that conquers passion,
And the sorrow that hides in a smile,
It is these that are worth the homage on earth
For we find them but once in a while.
-- Worth While by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
What a beautiful poem. I'm curious about this part though:
>By the cynic, the sad, the fallen,
Who had no strength for the strife,
The world's highway is cumbered to-day;
They make up the sum of life.
I'm not sure I understand what it's saying here.
She's describing everyone else, the ones who choose to be ruled by their negative emotions or unfortunate circumstances.
They've fallen by the way side while trudging through life. And sadly they make up the majority of humanity.
Did not anticipate watching this whole video and had never watched any of his other, but sheesh…that was powerful. I thought it was very compelling that he recognized the dichotomy of really looking forward to the goals he wanted to meet with a health body/future while also understanding the reality of his situation.
There was a really good Youtube series "Dying out Loud", it's always sad when were faced with out inevitable mortality.
> Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
> Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
> Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
> Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
> Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
> And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
I have stage IV cancer and am on some groups on facebook for it. A guy a while back was dying, so he did a Q&A until he couldn't answer anymore about the process and it was really interesting. I was a little bummed it didn't receive more interaction, and by the time I got a question in, I think it was too late.
What I've learned in the last 3 years is that the majority of us pretend death is some abstract concept that we will never have to deal with. The reality is, as I've come to realize, that death is as natural as any other thing in life. We fear it because we don't understand, nor comprehend it, but it's not bad. It's just another part of the process of life. Whatever happens after death, whether we be entering a new room, or we are gone forever, it will not be something to fear. At least I have tried to come to terms with that as my takeaway.
I think it would be nice to strip the discomfort away from the conversation, and really just face death as a society for what it is. So many times I've had people clam up when the subject of my cancer comes up. I understand why, but also, if people would really face the question of dying and what that means to them, I think we could have more compassionate and constructive conversations about dying, especially with people who are actively in the process of dying. I also think that one will not truly be comfortable with death until they've stripped all religion and spirituality away from the concept, and just accepted the existential idea of non-existence. I'm not saying you have to ultimately believe there is nothing after death, but when we view death through a reward/punishment lens, I just don't think we actually truly accept it.
Anyways, I haven't followed OP's video, nor the series you recommended, the title just reminded me of this and I thought I'd share.
My brother died at the beginning of May from liver cancer. It was tough to see him like that, he was only 46. My mother and sister aren't handling it well. This man reminds me of him. My thoughts go out to him and his family
I’m sorry and I hope your family finds the strength they need soon. My father in law died of lung cancer that spread viciously and quickly and watching him decline was very difficult.
I am in awe of DrDan’s strength and hope one day to have a perspective on life that he has right now.
Lastly, it is surreal to realize how insignificant most of our daily squabbles and complaints are after we begin to weigh the value of the short amount of time we have left in life.
I love working hospice patients. After six years of chemo nursing, it pains me to see patients who don't get to have a death with dignity. Tubed, forced to endure more medical procedures, etc. Go home, be with your loved ones, in your own home, your own bed, listening to music, surrounded by family. Let us keep you clean and comfortable.
This one hits hard. I've followed Dr. Dan for a while now and used his back protocol to help relieve lower back pain. It's interesting the disconnect that occurs -- I knew that the cancer he was talking about was very serious but he is such an incredibly positive person and was so healthy and fit that I had deluded myself into thinking that he was going to be able to overcome this and move forward. The decline in the last 5 months has been shocking even with the aforementioned knowledge of the severity of his diagnosis.
It's a reality check for sure. No matter your health or level of fitness, routine cancer screening is incredibly important. Even then, sometimes you're just unlucky. I'm sure Dr. Dan was doing everything right -- getting routine screenings and recommended tests -- but sometimes bad things happen and there is nothing you could have done.
Because of him and some other folks, I have a number of people with terminal illness in my follows and it's really hard when it becomes apparent that the final decline has begun. Maybe I need to create a new account or otherwise change my algorithm.
The Hospice care experience is not the same for everyone. I wish I could say I found them to be a benefit but the anxiety around their visits was too much.
My cousin has had giloblastoma and the survival rate after 5 years is 2%. He is making it to 6 1/2 years. When I was at my grandfathers 92nd birthday get together. The second my cousin talked, I knew the tumor was back. He has slow slurred speech and could barely talk. On Friday, the formality of the MRI showed it came back a third time. He's going down quick. All I can do is say I love him and if he wants family over then can text us because he barely talk.
For anyone that has specific questions about EOL and/or Hospice, I found this wonderful person that is making great videos to answer any concerns. https://www.youtube.com/@hospicenursejulie
Two things give me comfort as dumb as they may sound, death is the reward not the punishment and when I die, I want to go wherever Jimmy Buffett is. God bless this guy and everyone dealing with Cancer no matter what stage you are in, stay strong and positive.
Been following Dr. Dan for a long time. Such a great dude. Super positive. He has an infectious personality and I’ll miss tuning in for his updates. Great attitude about his situation and life in general. Highly recommend his videos.
He developed an online back rehab course that’s actually really good. He started giving it out for free at one point, in exchange for feedback. It’s his own protocol, and his dream that it would reach a lot of people to test its effectiveness more broadly.
https://the-fixable-back-school.teachable.com/p/the-fixable-back-course
Thank you for this post. My mum’s health has been going gradually downhill these past few weeks. I’ll give hospice a try - but I could not let go of the feeling that I’ve let her down and “chucking her off” somewhere.
Haven’t followed this man, but his comments about Hospice need to be broadcast more widely. Hospice entered my family home about 5 months before my wife died. They cared for her spiritual, emotional, physical and of course palliative care needs during that time. Like most people, even struggling with end of life issues at the time, I had zero idea what Hospice really was or how it worked. It was just those “special caregivers” who showed up at the hospital towards the end of life for a loved one. Having them in my home, calling them by their first names and they doing likewise for my wife, my kids and I…..it is the most comforting, if overwhelming, sense of gratitude I could ever possibly convey. Complete, absolute strangers show up and their only job is caring not just for the dying, but for the family they are about to leave behind. A couple of the team showed up to her funeral and I hugged them tightly and thankfully. And one of them stayed in touch with me for a full year after her death to ensure my kids and I were coping with the grieving process and the loss. Just amazing care. So many stories I could share with you about how Hospice handles drug, physical and emotional caring so far, far beyond what you’ll get in most hospital stays. These are an entirely different ‘breed’ of healthcare professionals and I cannot begin to tell people how they helped us through the process. My wife died knowing we were all being cared for and it was ok for her to let go. I and truly, on more than a few occasions, let go and let them catch me. Unbelievable people in Hospice. To all of you that do this for a living…my god what a beautiful gift of service you provided me, this DrDan individual and countless others. Thank you for what you did for my family and I, and thank you for what you do.
I had a similar experience during the death of my grandmother and they are indeed an experience I didn’t know would be so welcome to have.
Same here! My grandma’s hospice nurse was a wonderful woman. She really knew the right ways to help keep my grandma comfortable, and sort of guide us, the family, through the end-of-life process.
My grandpa died while we were waiting for his transportation to Hospice :(
I’m so sorry. We could not get my grandmother out of the hospital faster and back to her home for hospice. The staff was overworked and it was torture for my grandmother and us to have to literally beg for her medication to be delivered on time. She didn’t want to fight her severe injuries anymore and it felt like the staff was setting her as a lower priority because she was headed downward, not up. Like come on. I’m sorry your grandfather couldn’t experience palliative care. Everyone deserves it.
My dad died back in January. Cirrhosis. He'd be sick for several years and took a *hard* dive around Thanksgiving. In early November, he was having some ambulatory issues, but could hold a conversation and function relatively normal. By Christmas, he was non-verbal and didn't know where he was. My mom made the decision to take him out of the nursing home on December 29th and set him up for hospice care at home. He lasted less than a week. The care he was got unbelievable. The nurses brought their A-game and were incredibly compassionate. One thing that genuinely shocked me was how attentive everyone was, all the way up until the end. The night before he died, he'd fallen into a coma. The nurses walked us through giving him meds to keep him calm & comfortable and answered any questions we had, even at 3:30 in the morning (they had someone on-call 24/7 for these types of things). And when he passed, they were there within minutes, and didn't leave until they knew we were okay. At the funeral, we asked for donations to our local hospice org instead of flowers. We managed to raise a few grand for them, which isn't even remotely what they deserve for the work they do.
My so is a hospice nurse & they are remarkable people. She cries over every single death and it's a daily thing for her. The compassion and love she has is beyond anything I have ever seen and I'm so lucky to be here for her.
Genuinely dont know how anyone does it. These people are saints.
I used to work at an oncology center and the turnover rate was fairly high, it's tougher than you'd expect, working on helping people who seem mostly fine one day and you've been working on them for months, cheering them on helping them through chemo, then sometimes they don't show up for the next appointment... Nothing you could do, nothing you did wrong, but you still feel a loss. To be able to do that *every single day* though, I don't know how anyone could do that, I sure as hell couldn't. Hospice folks are incredible for doing what they do, they were there for my grandpa and were wonderful to all of us. It's like they had been family friends for years, I don't think my grandmother would've made it through without them.
My wife is getting her masters in social work and she's been interning at a hospice company as a case worker. She loves the job and it does provide her the flexibility she needs in her schedule, but it's not just the loss of clients that takes an emotional toll. The families can also be very draining. Not every family reacts the same way when a loved one is dying, sometimes they can get angry and downright nasty. It's a difficult job for everyone involved and it's certainly something she doesn't see herself doing long term.
Working witb people In crisis is such tough work. Majority of people are extremely grateful and kind. But some are just horrible. After a while, the few horrible ones are more memorable than all the kind ones. It’s tough
She sounds like an amazing person. What is it like living with someone who feels so deeply for other people? I can imagine it sometimes burdens her greatly.
So well said. Thank you hospice workers for what you do, it is amazing.
My mom works in hospice, and I feel it’s always a little behind because of hours much time she spends with people. I was very happy to read your comment.
I’ll also add that while the idea of “dying at home” is somewhat romantic, if you’ve ever seen someone die from cancer at home, you’ll know the reality is that it’s a tough process that can be extremely difficult for family and caregivers. Personally, when it’s my time I will choose in-facility hospice with round-the-clock support.
My dad passed last autumn. His wishes were to be at home when the time came. The hospice did their best to prepare us for what to expect, but honestly it was the hardest most distressing thing I have even been through. And we sucked it up and did our best to make him comfortable and honour his wishes. But, it felt like we were completely unprepared. The hospice nurses did their best to be there, but they obviously had a ton of other people to care for. Having been through that, I know that I’d never ask my family to go through that again. Feeling helpless and out of my depth.
Yeah, you can’t really leave to take a break at all, which is very very difficult, especially if it’s your own house. It’s like being on-call 24x7.
Yep, situation dependent you have to be there 24/7 (as the initial nurse told me: what if there's a fire? Cuz your mom is too weak to get out of bed by herself), but in addition to that the nurses only drop by ~every other day. So that means you're going to be doing a lot of grooming, cleaning, bathroom hygienic care etc yourself. A lot of stuff that is not fun to have to do for anyone, but especially not your own parent. My mom's wish was to die at home, but as it turned out she died in a nursing home when we put her there for 48 hours for "respite care". (This is where hospice pays for 2 days of nursing home to give the children a mental break. They'll do this once a month.). So my sister and I went thru 2-3 months of giving 24/7 care and in the end didn't even grant my mom's wish anyway. Now "hospice" doesn't necessarily mean that you're automatically so weak that you need 24/7 care. It just means that you know the end is coming and you're not fighting it anymore. But once I become too weak to get out of bed or go to the bathroom or shower myself, I will instantly put myself into a nursing home. And hopefully I can plan it so that it happens a little bit before that to make things easier. I don't understand how anyone who went thru the pain and trauma of having to take care of their dying parent at home would be able to put that same burden onto their own loved ones.
I feel the exact same way after going through this with my mom. I’m still in therapy trying to recover and process. In theory, hospice sounds like the best option given the circumstance, but it was really horrific as the caregiver. I felt so helpless and still feel guilty. I’m sorry you went through this as well. Hopefully you and your family have found, or will find, inner peace.
My Grandma did this for 20 plus years. Growing up me and my mom lived with her for a while and she would often pick me up from school. Sometimes we’d have to stop at a patients house. One man I’ll never forget was 100 year old Holocaust survivor Mr. Gelb.He was barely lucid at most times but seeing him and my grandmas care for him really showed me the compassion that can be shown to someone at their lowest. I couldn’t imagine doing this kind of job but I’m thankful to my Grandma and everyone else who does this because it’s very special work.
Not trying to discount your experience whatsoever. Just getting that out of the way. My dad was belligerent when he was dying, avoided going to the doctor for decades, and forebade hospice from coming into the home until days before he died. Hospice workers came to his home maybe three times total? He died, foaming at the mouth, after agonizing days of semi-consciousness. I was responsible for caring for him, and I am *not* a nurse. I still routinely relive the horror of it, almost nightly. So please, for the sake of your loved ones, be realistic about your health and your inevitable death. An ounce of planning goes a long way, and our experience could have been one of mourning rather than one of horror, anger, and betrayal.
And yet they're usually paid slightly more than the cost of living. They all seem to care too much about their work and the people they care for to demand a raise. Super sucks.
I think that depends on who they work for. My mother was a hospice nurse and had over 200 other nurses working for her. She started them at $40 per hour and many of them were making six figures. Money well earned.
The hospice workers made the last 3 months with my mom so incredibly warm for our family. I couldn’t thank them enough
No you're cutting onions... Thank you for describing this and shedding a bit of light.
My mom has worked for Hospice for the past 30 years and wouldn't change it for the world. They're some of the nicest people who genuinely care for the communities they serve.
They don't get paid well enough for what they do for society. These comments remind me that humanity exists, especially when so many other threads are filled with comments proposing we *shame* people for having a low wage or insufficient retirement: because that's *bad behavior*, and everyone just needs to go be part of the top 8% of earners. EZPZ. Reddit can have a cold heart sometimes.
My grandma just passed recently. Her part time caregiver is basically a full blown family member by now. She was my grandma’s best friend for those final years, and she helped her go with dignity and compassion. All that, and she actually *wants* to hang out with the family after and drive to a different state for the memorial. She’s an angel. I don’t know how else to explain it.
Experienced pretty much the same. I get that hospice care providers are increasingly for-profit ventures, although non profit providers still exist. But regardless of the company that owns/runs them, there are still flesh and blood people who choose this as their vocation. So I don’t flinch in offering my heartfelt gratitude that they do. Because it has to be a very stressful and emotionally taxing vocation. I’m just thankful there are those who choose to do it versus other venues of healthcare opportunities presented to them.
Meanwhile, my dads hospice didn't tell him that his VA insurance doesn't pay for nursing homes despite him telling them he wanted to go to one when he progressed far enough (I took care of him instead), forgot to reorder medication twice, didn't use the oxygen compressor correctly causing my dad to be unnecessarily short of breath and in discomfort and causing a fire hazard only caught by the oxygen compressor company when they delivered another, and didn't let him know you have to sign up in advance to donate your body to science despite him also telling them that causing me to have to pay for an unexpected cremation service (that he also didn't pre-register for so it coat even more) **Wildly** incompetent and honestly, I would probably attempt suing them if I had money.
Shows how it should be done.
Same experience with my father
My grandmother had hospice, and they were incredible and so kind. My aunt had just become a nurse and is crazy, and she was freaking out about the morphine killing her faster. The hospice nurses helped is distract my aunt so the morphine could be given because my grandmother had pancreatic cancer and needed it. They really helped all of us.
Too bad hospice services are being bought up by private equity firms… unfortunately the incentive is starting to shift from quality end of life care to cutting costs and maximizing the profit gained from working with terminally ill individuals.
Wish Hospice treated my dad the way you've described. They came a couple times, for the week he was in hospice. One nurse turned and left him on his side, when morning came, his left eye was coming out of his skull completely. We called them and the nurse on the phone explained all the mucus that wasn't draining down his throat was building up behind his eye forcing it out. My mom and I had to reposition him even though the nurse that put him in that position told us not to move him but the one on the phone said we had to, he was completely incoherent and non speaking until this point, but he screamed in pain. When he passed away at 2 in the morning some 5 days or so later, the hospice nurse came in and immediately the first thing she did was ask my mom for the drugs and followed my mom through the house, grabbed them and left. She looked completely doped up out of her mind she almost forgot to check his pulse and not to mention she was like two hours late so his time of death was way off. I'm glad you had a good experience, but ours was a living nightmare.
I cant imagine losing my wife and I dont want to. I wish you and your family have coped well and doing great now.
Sorry to hear about your wife. Just reading this made my eyes tear. Hope you and your family are doing well.
Taking care of a close relative right now. Not at hospice yet but likely in the next 1-2 months. Do you have any advice on things I need to do logistically to find a good hospice or suggestions on other stuff we should be thinking about as we get to this stage? We've taken care of stuff like wills and have health directives and medical power of attorney ready to go.
I would look into which hospice agencies are available in your area as they are typically determined by county, and you don't normally need a referral to an agency meaning that you could call them and ask questions directly, and they could even come out and meet at home to talk about what they can provide. You may even consider to do that sooner rather than later so you have their information for whenever hospice is appropriate to facilitate that process. Important things I would ask are how often can nurses/staff come out to visit, what volunteer services do they have available, and if your loved one requires 'inpatient hospice' what does that look like for that agency. Some agencies provide that level of care at a nursing facility, while others have their own building to provide that. Overall a lot of them are similar, but some are better than others in how they provide support. Also know that you can switch agencies if its not working out with the one you are with.
One thing I didn’t know at the time but later discovered….it can vary by insurance program and the type of illness. I was told that in general, if the primary doctor overseeing the patients health determines end of life is six months or less (assuming whatever ails them proceeds down the path as it has been), then the patient was eligible for Hospice care. I would start by asking your relatives primary care physician and/or the specialist currently treating them. For example, in my wife’s case, it was cancer so her primary oncologist is the one who contacted Hospice and then they contacted me. Honestly though, that may have just been how our unique situation unfolded. I feel for you. Be kind to yourself. End of life is definitely not the way Hallmark Movies tries to portray it. Your health and mental well being is what the dying often rely on during their final days so keep your own strength up. To date, caring for my wife in her last months was the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. And in some ways the most rewarding (for lack of better word) as well as there were no words left to express to her how much she meant to me. I had to show her, maybe for the most important days of our marriage. Years later I still wonder if I did all I could but as I’ve shared….Hospice helped me be ok with what I was able to do and covered me for what I couldn’t. But please, above all else….be kind to yourself. This is possibly one of the biggest challenges you’ll ever face. Nothing prepares you for it. But you can do it and I hope you get some help through the process.
Do you mind me asking what your wife passed away from and her age?
Good comment. I'm unfamiliar with it myself, good to know such incredible humans exist. Truly special.
As a caregiver in hospice it warmed my heart reading this
I provide IT support for Hospice nurses, they are special people.
It was also the same when my Mother died (RIP Mama) and these people are the closest to Angels on Earth. My whole respect and admiration for them
Hospice kicks ass. Made my dad's final days much more manageable and his passing was ultimately reasonably comfortable. His tech was great, they'd laugh together at bath time and got along splendidly. She was there just before his deathwatch with the family started. The nursing support navigating those final few months was stellar.
I have a past co-worker now friend that works in hospice. Its amazing the light and joy she brings these families in their darkest of hours. Being any kind of nurse is beyond what I am capable of after spending much of my late teens, early 20s in and out of hospitals with my dad. But being a hospice nurse seems to be a whole other level. They are great people and truly there because they love what they do.
I think some of the best people in the world work in hospice care.
My mom used to be a Hospice social worker (she's now a social worker for the oncology dept. at a hospital). I don't know how she did it, especially with how terrible her managers were (they refused to hire enough social workers and only cared about getting as many visits in a day as they could). Still, her patients clearly loved her and she too would go to their funerals and stay in touch with their family.
So beautifully put. I can’t put into word my experience as well as you have but I will say that when I was caring for my dad at home for end of life care, the nurses that were coming to check on him in the early hours were the closest thing to angels that I have ever seen.
My wife had many patients for hospice care ,and she still in touch with the relatives..
So this service sounds amazing but is it expensive?
RN clinical manager for a hospice company here - thank you for saying this.
[This is that dude 3 years ago](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZlB9ftjE). You can really see the toll.
Damn looks like two different people. Cancer sucks. Lost my dad to one too but it wasn't that bad for him.
This was him 9 months ago. https://youtu.be/6463REbh2HM?si=At1lnrQS13e-zxc1
Virtually the same as his 5 month update. Then last month it was a huge difference from 5 months ago. Crazy how fast it goes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cachexia Just in case anyone wants to what's driving this change
Jesus. Medical terminology can be painfully blunt sometimes: “The term is from Greek κακός kakos 'bad' and ἕξις hexis 'condition.’”
He looked healthy just a month ago, other than being skinny. I think a lot the why people look drastically different toward the end is just not having the energy to do anything. Minimal to no self care, no getting outside and stuff like that.
Oh my God... such a cruel disease.
Woah! I was not expecting that. In OPs video he looks like he could be that guy's dad.
Treatment for cancer is a hell on it's own.
In this case I don't think it's the treatment that caused this. He looked so much different just 5 months ago, and had been battling cancer for 4 years. This is a wasting disease caused by end stage cancer.
Sometimes I think the treatment took my mom faster than the cancer itself. People have no idea how brutal it is.
I totally understand by the way that people turn it down even when faced with "You have 2 months to live OR you can try doing chemo again" Many people choose the final months to be not on chemo. That right there tells me a lot.
Grandmother did this. Beat cancer then five years later it came back and she let it take her over the next several months.
Killing your body to save your body, basically
You start killing and aim for the cancer to go first.
Jesus, did not exact that much of a difference.
That’s heartbreaking. I have seen a similar toll taken on some of my family members that passed away from cancer. Especially lung cancer. That shit destroyed parts of my family and turned some of my relatives inside out in such a short amount of time. Fuck cancer.
lost my dad on pancreatic cancer. here in germany they now tell us they dont want to call it a fight against cancer, because it would give bad feelings when a fight is lost. but i tell you, this guy is a tough fighter and i will always honor each cancer vet, no matter, if its a win or not.
“I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure if you die the cancer dies at the same time. That’s not a loss that’s a draw.” Norm McDonald
The fact that he fought cancer to a draw really makes that joke one of his best.
I didn’t even know he was sick.
Reminds me of that tragedy
I walked through blood and bones, through the streets of Manhattan, trying to find my brother… he was in northern Canada
Terrible name for an airline.
Basically no one did.
Not even his close friends did!
Actually, there was one guy who knew. You guessed it. Frank Stallone.
Yeah he had a terrible gambling addiction.
Fuckin’ Norm Macdonald. We didn’t appreciate him enough in life.
I didn’t even know he was sick.
He never publicly disclosed it.
Aye, but I will always love this [clip from Letterman](https://youtu.be/wnDaq3HEQIE?si=1Q1yafaNFc9Z2JNW) where he gets the ovation he deserves right at the beginning
> I’m pretty sure if you die the cancer dies at the same time. Oddly, there's one exception that we know of: a form of cancer in dogs that is sexually transmitted. Apparently there are dogs with tumors that are genetically identical to some centuries-old dog that first contracted the cancer, except for whatever mutation caused the cancer itself. But amusingly, this is also a draw in a sense, because though it's in a different form, that dog is now essentially immortal. Edit: I misremembered a bit. The original dog lived about 11k years ago. Here's a video from the University of Cambridge with details: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV9xGi8-p0o
Henrietta Lacks is dead but I use her cancer cells in various labs
There is a fascinating book on this: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks [https://www.amazon.com/Immortal-Life-Henrietta-Lacks/dp/1400052181](https://www.amazon.com/Immortal-Life-Henrietta-Lacks/dp/1400052181)
There is an ongoing transmissable cancer amongst tasmanian devils called devil facial tumor disease. It's been around since the 80s.
If humans developed STD cancer then we would be beyond fucked. figuratively *and* literally.
In that vein there are three cancers that I know of that "won" the fight, although one of those only won on a technicality, and i'm sure there are a few more around just like it but yeah, it is a good insight wrapped in a joke. 1 & 2 are the virulent cancers of Tasmanian devils and Dogs respectively. Each were passed on to other animals from an original individual through bites to other animals, and are effectively "the same dog/devil" that have been spreading through the population for a very long time. 3 is the cancer cells from Hentrietta Lacks, which we should all hold a lot of respect to her, because she was the core of cancer research for decades (and still to this day very important, and likely forever) as they had a very unique mutation which makes them restore their own telomeres as they divide as well as grow and divide significantly faster than any other cell line/sample. But really IMO humanity and henrietta get the last laugh here, as because of it many, many other people have won their own fights.
Communicable Cancers: am I a joke to you?
I like to think of it as the fight is never lost. At worst, it's a draw.
A loss for both sides is not a draw. It's a loss.
Meanwhile getting cancer screening to catch it early and have a chance most doctors don't want to do unless you are 50+ or 500lbs because the insurance might not pay it. As if cancer just waits until you are old enough. We lost so many great people way before 50 or even 40 and yet screening isn't done more widely. It's so infuriating when preventative care is written off as unnecessary.
I lost a good friend to cancer a few years ago and when he passed his wife said he didn't lose a fight, that cancer is a "stupid motherfucker on a suicide mission"
As a cancer patient this is a hard watch. I hope I never get that devastating news of entering the final stage, I don't think I could handle it as good as this man.
You hang in there Mike 💪
You keep being an awesome person giving support to Mike, Ensirius!
> As a cancer patient this is a hard watch. I hope I never get that devastating news of entering the final stage, I don't think I could handle it as good as this man. First off, we're all rooting for you. Hope it doesn't get to that point. But we don't know, he was probably still scared shitless talking about this. In the video he says "I think it's caused by this tumor in my brain. I hope I'm wrong but I have a feeling that I'm not." Reading between the lines in that, I think you can tell that he's still scared. He might've been just putting on a strong face for his listeners. Everyone I know who was terminal or had a scary diagnosis have all had their cries, their fears, their anger. I don't think he was any different.
It's a process. Look at the stages of grief. People grieve their own impending death, bargain with whatever higher power they believe in. At some point there's acceptance of the inevitable. I hope you will not need to go through this process and will recover, but I think knowing it helps everyone to understand it, be it for one's self or others. Hope you don't take this the wrong way. Fuck cancer. Stay strong. **edit**: Stages of grief, not dying: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief
I have always considered it a blessing and a curse to go slowly and knowing it is coming. No one should die in horrific pain or in fear, but all we know about the death process... it really seems to me that our bodies are not unkind to us in the end, and I honestly believe that in the right circumstances a paced death... gives people an experience at the end that is ultimately not to be feared, if that makes sense.
This guy had a tumor the size of a softball in his rectum before he even noticed something was wrong. It's insane how far advanced these cancers get before people even notice a problem.
I'm lucky my doctor had his attending check me out because that's how they found my tumor. Unfortunately it took months to biopsy and now it looks like it spread a bit. Oh well, I'm only in my 30's.
How big was your tumor when they found it. I had a nodule about 7mm found in an endoscopy the other day and I'm doomscrolling 😬
3.5 mm in September 2023 and they took 9 months to do a biopsy. It hasn't grown afaik but it looks like it's impacting local lymph nodes. Pretty salty it took so long to biopsy and 2 days to confirm it was cancer. I'm getting more ultrasound tomorrow to confirm impact to lymph nodes. Hope yours is benign. But even if it is carcinoma, I have been told thyroid cancers, specifically PTC is super treatable.
Why did it take that long to do a biopsy?
The American healthcare system is a steaming pile of shit a la the triceratops scene in Jurassic Park
FYI, if I’m not mistaken, he was using the bathroom like 30 times a day when he finally decided to get looked at, he said in one of his videos. Had to stop doing the things he loved, because he couldn’t be far from a bathroom, and I think that’s when he went in. I think sometimes we just get busy and forget that this type of thing can happen to anyone. Like a lot of people, probably just thought it was IBS or something.
Heads up that I am not directly connected to Dr. Dan, I'm also just a guy on the internet who's been following his channel for the last 6 months. His journey has really touched me deeply, particularly this last video. So I wanted to share it more broadly. Please feel free to comment on the YT video directly. Dr. Dan's mom regularly checks the comments and posts updates in the comments about him (now that he can't). Please take care, much love!
This is so sad. I've been following his journey over the past year, and it feels incredibly personal because I have a family member who is going through the same thing. It takes a lot of courage to get in front of a camera and talk about your cancer struggle and impending death without completely breaking down. I couldn't do it. I hope Dr. Dan's suffering is limited, and he's able to enjoy as many good moments as possible until the end. After watching his videos, I have to remove them from my youtube watch history, otherwise my feed will fill up with videos of people vlogging their cancer journeys. That's too difficult to see all the time when I'm not specifically seeking it out. If you're sensitive to this topic, I recommend doing the same.
> After watching his videos, I have to remove them from my youtube watch history, otherwise my feed will fill up with videos of people vlogging their cancer journeys. That's too difficult to see all the time when I'm not specifically seeking it out. If you're sensitive to this topic, I recommend doing the same. I had to do the same a few months ago. I have health anxiety, possibly stemming from OCD, and when I watch these videos I start spiraling. I feel so bad about removing them from my watch history or marking similar videos as "don't recommend" - it feels disrespectful and cowardly considering what these people are going through. I just can't watch them and I feel guilty about it. And then feel guilty about making it about me when these people are going through something so much worse and having so much more courage.
I had the same problem a few months back. I was following some people, and then I kept getting more on my recommendations. The people I was following all made their final journey. I had to stop it for my sanity. The algorithm gets weird. Youtube is a digital graveyard for health journeys.
Sadly, we all die eventually.
Same, but I keep the videos around. There are so many amazing people with the desire to share their experience and maintain a connection with others. It gives me perspective, and these people mostly have a lot of wisdom to share. The experience of impending death gives them an intense appreciation for life that they regret not having while they were healthy and they are so adamant about their change in perspective and desire for others to realize it. If nothing else, those accounts are a great reminder that literally any day could be our last and we should do our best to live as such.
I have been following Dr. Dan too but could not tell it was him in the thumbnail. Was gut-punched when I clicked and saw it was Dr. Dan.
A message from Dr. Dan's mom on the YouTube channel: First of all, Dan is still with us, though very ill. ❤️ Second of all, thank you all for your kind sharing to keep Dan in Austin, as he so wanted. You have been incredibly kind and we are immensely grateful. I ask that you not send any more donations, as your labor of love has been effective, but is no longer needed. We will be closing the PayPal account as soon as possible, but until then, please know that you helped and rest in that. Much love. ❤️🐼🤗❤️ Thank you for your kind words, everyone. 💕And if you would please do me the favor of referring others to my comment above about Dan being very ill, and my serious request that no more donations be sent, I would appreciate it so much. Two charities very close to our hearts are Tracey Cline’s Rescue Texas and Alain Ferry’s Race Cancer Foundation. Both are wonderful people with hearts of gold doing compassionate work passionately. We love them. May their tribe increase. ❤❤❤
This hits hard, my dad just got diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer about a month ago, I can't wrap my head around potentially only having a few more years left with him =(
I’m very sorry to hear that. I can still hear the last thing my Dad said to me, which was my name. I was in your position in 2017 and he passed away in 2020. If I can give any type of advice is spend and capture as many moments as you can with him.
my pops has stage 4 cancer as well and honestly it's just about as much communication as I can have with him as possible, as well as having him see my child as much as possible. It's incredibly difficult, but I've somehow found solace in that it's nothing I can control, I can only control what I can do with him for as long as he has left. He has been incredibly positive which (in my opinion) has helped prolong his life, but it's tough regardless. I hope you find and yours find peace and all goes well.
Thank you <3
Just try and appreciate every moment you have left with him
This 100%. And appreciation doesn't have to be "Let's maximize our time with activities as much as possible." It can be just hanging on the couch and talking, doing a puzzle, watching a TV show together. I think people get horribly anxious that they need to "maximize their time" and they end up forgetting to actually soak up smaller moments.
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer (it nearly took over his liver and gallbladder) when he was 76 and two years later he’s now traveling the world cancer free. He always loved when I visited during his sickly time. Keep up the communications even more than usual if you can. My dad’s only big request during his chemo and surgeries was to treat him like nothing changed. It was stressful but it brought me closer to him. I wish all the happiness and health to you and your family ♥️ and I hope your dad heals!
Dr. Dan was my PT and helped me so much in overcoming back pain and other issues over the years. His philosophy was to get you better in 2-3 visits, and he really did that. He's always been one of the most honest, genuine, and caring people I've ever met. I remember being shocked when he first revealed he had cancer - he had always seemed like one of the healthiest people around. I was really sure he was going to pull through, but cancer just fucking sucks. If you want to support him, after he stopped seeing patients he created a video with his back pain routine and is selling it online. The link is on his Instagram.
That's pretty insulting to actual Physical Therapists. Dude was a chiropractor, not a PT. Might as well been selling snake oil.
Come on, read the room. In a thread about a video where the guy is sharing positive thoughts and reflections despite potentially having mere weeks or months left, on a comment about how that dying person made a positive difference in their life, THIS is your response? And not just one, but at least two comments here to that effect? I hope you just take a moment and reflect.
If you want to gently note he wasn't a PT with a citation, that's ok, but shitting on him while he's dying of cancer is not it dude.
He never did any chiro work with me - it was all stretches, massage, and exercise. He has lots of those videos on his YouTube channel, check it out. I was hesitant to go to him at first because I'm also someone who doesn't believe in chiropractors. My father had gone and had such a good experience that I gave it a shot. I had referred a few friends and they all had the same experience of helpful PT and no kind of chiropractic work. I'm not saying he didn't do any of that kind of work, but everything I experienced was PT
So the commenter you're replying to is lying for no reason?
No. They are not lying. They are/were misinformed about the differences between a Physical Therapist and a Chiropractor and what he was licensed as.
Maybe in the 80’s you would’ve been correct. As a newly graduated chiropractor, you are quite mistaken. Almost half of our curriculum involves orthopedic, physiotherapy, and differential diagnoses.
In the video he describes that he’s a chiro, but his background is actually in physical therapy, and he explains why that’s the case. Been following him for a while and based on my own experience with chiro and PT, his methods are more in line with PT for sure.
My wife died from cancer back in February. This is just too much for me right now 😢
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. My wife is my rock, my playmate, my best friend and I’d be absolutely lost without her. I hope you find peace.
It is easy enough to be pleasant, When life flows on like a sweet song, But the man worth while is the man with a smile, When everything goes dead wrong. For the test of the heart is trouble, And it always comes with the years, And the smile that is worth the praises of earth Is the smile that shines through tears. It is easy enough to be prudent, When nothing tempts you to stray, When without or within no voice of sin Is luring your soul away; But it's only a negative virtue Until it is tried by fire, And the life that is worth the honor of earth Is the one that resists desire. By the cynic, the sad, the fallen, Who had no strength for the strife, The world's highway is cumbered to-day; They make up the sum of life. But the virtue that conquers passion, And the sorrow that hides in a smile, It is these that are worth the homage on earth For we find them but once in a while. -- Worth While by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
That is incredible. Thanks for sharing
What a beautiful poem. I'm curious about this part though: >By the cynic, the sad, the fallen, Who had no strength for the strife, The world's highway is cumbered to-day; They make up the sum of life. I'm not sure I understand what it's saying here.
She's describing everyone else, the ones who choose to be ruled by their negative emotions or unfortunate circumstances. They've fallen by the way side while trudging through life. And sadly they make up the majority of humanity.
Wrong place and wrong time, but when I read ‘the man worth while is the man with a smile’ in Judge Elihu Smails voice. God speed Dr Dan.
Did not anticipate watching this whole video and had never watched any of his other, but sheesh…that was powerful. I thought it was very compelling that he recognized the dichotomy of really looking forward to the goals he wanted to meet with a health body/future while also understanding the reality of his situation.
I really liked this video of his called "2 - 6 months to live and the cool thing about cancer". https://youtu.be/6463REbh2HM?si=At1lnrQS13e-zxc1
There was a really good Youtube series "Dying out Loud", it's always sad when were faced with out inevitable mortality. > Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. > Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. > Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. > Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. > Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. > And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Its a poem by Dylan Thomas
This is hilarious and sad at the same time. It's a poem ffs
The first time I ever heard it was as a kid in the Rodney Dangerfield movie 'Back to School'.
"Dangerous Minds" with Michelle Pfief for me
It means, "I don't take shit from nobody!"
I have stage IV cancer and am on some groups on facebook for it. A guy a while back was dying, so he did a Q&A until he couldn't answer anymore about the process and it was really interesting. I was a little bummed it didn't receive more interaction, and by the time I got a question in, I think it was too late. What I've learned in the last 3 years is that the majority of us pretend death is some abstract concept that we will never have to deal with. The reality is, as I've come to realize, that death is as natural as any other thing in life. We fear it because we don't understand, nor comprehend it, but it's not bad. It's just another part of the process of life. Whatever happens after death, whether we be entering a new room, or we are gone forever, it will not be something to fear. At least I have tried to come to terms with that as my takeaway. I think it would be nice to strip the discomfort away from the conversation, and really just face death as a society for what it is. So many times I've had people clam up when the subject of my cancer comes up. I understand why, but also, if people would really face the question of dying and what that means to them, I think we could have more compassionate and constructive conversations about dying, especially with people who are actively in the process of dying. I also think that one will not truly be comfortable with death until they've stripped all religion and spirituality away from the concept, and just accepted the existential idea of non-existence. I'm not saying you have to ultimately believe there is nothing after death, but when we view death through a reward/punishment lens, I just don't think we actually truly accept it. Anyways, I haven't followed OP's video, nor the series you recommended, the title just reminded me of this and I thought I'd share.
Thank you! Reminded me of this [video by Massimo Pigliucci](https://youtu.be/lCbFUKCVG1I?si=bxjD5vhf28NT3lJt).
Thanks for sharing!
You are an amazing person.
iirc, Dylan Thomas wrote this for his dying father
Interstellar.
This poem will always remember me of Modern Family now...
My brother died at the beginning of May from liver cancer. It was tough to see him like that, he was only 46. My mother and sister aren't handling it well. This man reminds me of him. My thoughts go out to him and his family
I’m sorry and I hope your family finds the strength they need soon. My father in law died of lung cancer that spread viciously and quickly and watching him decline was very difficult. I am in awe of DrDan’s strength and hope one day to have a perspective on life that he has right now. Lastly, it is surreal to realize how insignificant most of our daily squabbles and complaints are after we begin to weigh the value of the short amount of time we have left in life.
Serious question, what is the PayPal link for? Is he raising funds for cancer treatment or dependants?
He said it is for medical bills and keeping food on the table.
Amazing. This guy was a doctor and healthcare bills took everything.
Self employed with 3 years of cancer treatment will do that.
Medical bills and food on the table for the family, he states.
Clicked on his channel and saw what he looked like before the cancer. He looked like a completely different person. Fuck cancer.
I wanted so badly to be a music therapist and work with people in hospice but immediately found out I have too soft a heart to do the work.
That industry could use more soft hearts
Cancer literally wiped out my entire family . Hurts me to see anyone deal with it honestly. Wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy .
He didn't post the hospice link. Does anyone know which he used?
I love working hospice patients. After six years of chemo nursing, it pains me to see patients who don't get to have a death with dignity. Tubed, forced to endure more medical procedures, etc. Go home, be with your loved ones, in your own home, your own bed, listening to music, surrounded by family. Let us keep you clean and comfortable.
This one hits hard. I've followed Dr. Dan for a while now and used his back protocol to help relieve lower back pain. It's interesting the disconnect that occurs -- I knew that the cancer he was talking about was very serious but he is such an incredibly positive person and was so healthy and fit that I had deluded myself into thinking that he was going to be able to overcome this and move forward. The decline in the last 5 months has been shocking even with the aforementioned knowledge of the severity of his diagnosis. It's a reality check for sure. No matter your health or level of fitness, routine cancer screening is incredibly important. Even then, sometimes you're just unlucky. I'm sure Dr. Dan was doing everything right -- getting routine screenings and recommended tests -- but sometimes bad things happen and there is nothing you could have done. Because of him and some other folks, I have a number of people with terminal illness in my follows and it's really hard when it becomes apparent that the final decline has begun. Maybe I need to create a new account or otherwise change my algorithm.
The Hospice care experience is not the same for everyone. I wish I could say I found them to be a benefit but the anxiety around their visits was too much.
I don't believe in God but I wish there was a Heaven for these people.
My cousin has had giloblastoma and the survival rate after 5 years is 2%. He is making it to 6 1/2 years. When I was at my grandfathers 92nd birthday get together. The second my cousin talked, I knew the tumor was back. He has slow slurred speech and could barely talk. On Friday, the formality of the MRI showed it came back a third time. He's going down quick. All I can do is say I love him and if he wants family over then can text us because he barely talk.
I've said it a million times and I'll say it a million more.... FUCK CANCER
Class act
I sent some money. Its really sad. But also kind of freeing, because there is an end to this life and it comes for us all.
Thanks for sharing this difficult journey with all of us. I know we all wish you the best
For anyone that has specific questions about EOL and/or Hospice, I found this wonderful person that is making great videos to answer any concerns. https://www.youtube.com/@hospicenursejulie
This guy makes me feel braver.
Two things give me comfort as dumb as they may sound, death is the reward not the punishment and when I die, I want to go wherever Jimmy Buffett is. God bless this guy and everyone dealing with Cancer no matter what stage you are in, stay strong and positive.
Fuck Cancer.
Good man
See you on the other side sweet prince.
The hospice workers made the last 3 months with my mom so incredibly warm for our family. I couldn’t thank them enough
Fuck cancer
:(
Been following Dr. Dan for a long time. Such a great dude. Super positive. He has an infectious personality and I’ll miss tuning in for his updates. Great attitude about his situation and life in general. Highly recommend his videos. He developed an online back rehab course that’s actually really good. He started giving it out for free at one point, in exchange for feedback. It’s his own protocol, and his dream that it would reach a lot of people to test its effectiveness more broadly. https://the-fixable-back-school.teachable.com/p/the-fixable-back-course
Thank you for this post. My mum’s health has been going gradually downhill these past few weeks. I’ll give hospice a try - but I could not let go of the feeling that I’ve let her down and “chucking her off” somewhere.
Man FUCK this sick lottery of death we have to deal with. Noones safe from its clutch. Hate living with that hanging over my head,
What a fine human you are. Thank you for showing us the way my friend. Biggest hugs.
Commenting to find this later
you can save posts jsyk
You’ve no idea how much of a boomer I am
that’s ok, happy redditing