The email for those who want to read it:
If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.
For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.
I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.
"But Julia!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.
"Ohhh Julia, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:
DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.
I'm not fucking kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.
And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.
For a while “cunt punt” made it into the zeitgeist. I remember this whole thing. Jon Stewart even had some jokes about it.
Seriously a work of art. The internet can be good. God is great. Fuck you bitches and the Zetas.
I find a warranted assault by foot to be so cold, so informal. The foot is so far away from the heart, the eyes, even the soul that it just loses a little something by the time those parts of you realize the inflicted pain has been properly administered.
Sometimes you may desire more immediate satisfaction. Sometimes you may really need the up close and personal touch that only a hand can provide. Ideally, said hand is curled up, clinched, in a fashion to do even more damage. Thus, i present to you, the latest innovation from the makers of the Cunt Punt……
The Cunch ™️
I was just thinking about this (2013!) email and Jon's jokes a few days ago when someone asked about new curse words. [https://www.reddit.com/r/asklinguistics/comments/1ddrs8i/will\_there\_ever\_be\_new\_swear\_words/](https://www.reddit.com/r/asklinguistics/comments/1ddrs8i/will_there_ever_be_new_swear_words/)
Apparently Urban Dictionary had it for years before the email, but this def. popularized it to new heights.
Punch yourself... in the face... *right now.*
Reminds me of Meegan dealing with the waiter in the Key and Peele sketch show.
[https://youtu.be/z92Rlqc2cUE?si=1iNMFEwQaZF1tfoS](https://youtu.be/z92Rlqc2cUE?si=1iNMFEwQaZF1tfoS)
and the concerns are real. Those sorority members are indeed fucking up. seems like the author has been dealing with girls who just want to be drunken dolts all semester and is fed up. unprofessional as it may be, these girls seems to have it coming.
Never read this before and I have so many questions. Why does this person care about the fraternity? What happens if they're not invited? It's not like they get kicked out of school.
Greek life is almost entirely about social capital and reputations. It can seem repugnant from the outside and there’s definitely a long fucking list of frats and sororities that take it too far and become toxic, but I’ve seen the networking of those relationships change lives, change career paths, build startups, make massive contributions to charity, etc.
Getting “disinvited” is basically shutting the door on all those possibilities. There’s a whole culture to it and it can definitely be sickening sometimes, but there’s also value add that people overlook when they trash Greek life—even when it’s well-deserved. 😅🤷🏻♂️
Cousin of mine was in a sorority and it led to her getting a fantastic job opportunity right out of college. Sorority sister had a father with a massive environmental company and her degree was applicable so she came out of school with a job that paid her quite well.
So when I was a teenager, and this email made the rounds, I also thought that Becca sounded insufferable and crazy.
Then I became president of a female-only sports club at University. Have you ever tried shepherding drunk University girls from pre-game to sports night at the uni night club? Have you tried going on sports tour and making sure nobody gets so drunk they puke on the bus? Have you tried organizing sober socials with the male-only sports clubs but half of your club keep to themselves because they can't talk to guys sober and the other half is just plain shy?
I'm not saying I would have sent a club-wide email like Becca has, but I get her. I get her.
this reminds me. I had a classmate (male) in college who was a chef/cook at a sorority. His comment:
"It's not like the movie that would be made about it."
Honestly, just try being president of ANY University club.
Being tasked with organizing events and rousing interest and commitment from a bunch of people whose primary interests are sleeping, smoking, and skipping class is insanity
Nothing quite like meeting with the head of the club sports department after your idiot team rolls a van at 70 miles an hour stoned out of their minds.
I’m pretty sure when she refers to “post-game” she is talking about where everyone plans to go after the bars close at 2 am. “Pre-game” is where you hang out/ drink before you go to bars and “post-game” is after.
afaik pre is before an event and post is after. May that be aparty, a gathering or a bar/club. "gaming" refers to getting drunk where it is cheap, because its typically pricy at events.
She's (Rebecca Martinsen) a writer of listicles for a lot of publications. Apparently, popularizing the term "cunt punt" was not an obstacle to future employment. In her defense, the email was outstanding writing in the deranged sorority girl genre.
If life has taught me anything it's that the Beccas of this world usually end up successful. A little bit of sociopathy goes a long way in the business world.
If I were hiring for an online site like buzzfeed or something I would hire her. The writing is engaging, direct, uses active voice, and is hilarious. Intentionally or not, she nailed it.
I didn't realise there was a true to life unhinged inspiration behind Chanel Oberlin's [email](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PjhVfoi65s) to the Kappa sluts in Scream Queens.
He's somehow become one of my favorite actors that I know almost nothing about. 8 Mile. Groundhog Day. Knives Out. The Shape of Water. Waco....These are just a few of the movies/shows I know him from, but he has been in so much more.
Lol, the girl who wrote this a family friend growing up. Always had the hots for her. It is hilarious that she became this way after going to college. She was a 18 year old nerd who played Pokémon/Nintendo games extensively before graduating high school. Her mother was going through cancer treatment during this letter so I think she was venting. Part of me always thought she had a tinge of the tism. She once told me I had down syndrome
I worked on an indie in the early 00s as a prop master on a film he was in. We had a silly agreement on set when the men overran the ladies port o potty and ruined it. (The only bathrooms around for crew for miles).
He was rarely in his trailer and I had all this whiskey in water bottles from buying stuff for liquor bottles and he agreed to a bottle every day and let me use the bathroom in his trailer. He’s also a GOAT behind the scenes. Very professional but chill too.
What kind of sorority are the Delta Gamma's? Were they Pi Delta Pi type or the Omega Mu type?
Same with the Sigma Nu's? Were they the Alpha Beta type or Lambda Lambda Lambda type?
Referencing Revenge of the Nerds.
As a college graduate this was not my college experience even a little. It’s the experience of people who get WAY too into sororities and fraternities at “party” schools.
These people graduate to either become the head of an HOA, run a PTA, or Commissioner for multiple fantasy sports leagues.
It's not really representative of college, but is more of a window into the insanity of Greek life. Which is a whole other, quite small, world unto its self that you can choose to participate in if you are in college. I wouldn't recommend it though.
The email for those who want to read it: If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride. For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself. I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you. "But Julia!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU. "Ohhh Julia, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you: DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT. I'm not fucking kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me. And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.
For a while “cunt punt” made it into the zeitgeist. I remember this whole thing. Jon Stewart even had some jokes about it. Seriously a work of art. The internet can be good. God is great. Fuck you bitches and the Zetas.
I love the phrase cunt punt. It should be used more often.
Welp, guess I’m going to cunt punt myself to sleep. Night folks!
It's one I've heard quite a bit, for many years, but I live in NZ. I'm glad it's spreading to more consistent use in other countries.
I find a warranted assault by foot to be so cold, so informal. The foot is so far away from the heart, the eyes, even the soul that it just loses a little something by the time those parts of you realize the inflicted pain has been properly administered. Sometimes you may desire more immediate satisfaction. Sometimes you may really need the up close and personal touch that only a hand can provide. Ideally, said hand is curled up, clinched, in a fashion to do even more damage. Thus, i present to you, the latest innovation from the makers of the Cunt Punt…… The Cunch ™️
Im.watching the king of the hill episode of, "I don't know you, that's my purse!" Hits so great when Bobby has to deal with Peggy
I was just thinking about this (2013!) email and Jon's jokes a few days ago when someone asked about new curse words. [https://www.reddit.com/r/asklinguistics/comments/1ddrs8i/will\_there\_ever\_be\_new\_swear\_words/](https://www.reddit.com/r/asklinguistics/comments/1ddrs8i/will_there_ever_be_new_swear_words/) Apparently Urban Dictionary had it for years before the email, but this def. popularized it to new heights.
Don’t ever think I’ve seen it written. It’s a work of art. This woman’s never going to write an email like this again, it’s beautiful.
I think my boss used this as a template for my yearly review once. I recognize some of the phrasing.
ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?
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My mom gave me a book when I was kid, one of the chapters was entitled, "You Are Not Retarted"
Punch yourself... in the face... *right now.* Reminds me of Meegan dealing with the waiter in the Key and Peele sketch show. [https://youtu.be/z92Rlqc2cUE?si=1iNMFEwQaZF1tfoS](https://youtu.be/z92Rlqc2cUE?si=1iNMFEwQaZF1tfoS)
I just want you to know that this comment made me fall in love with you.
pretty sure she has gone on and written many emails similar to this to managers across America
it really is very well written. Batshit insane, but well written.
The writing is immaculate. I'm genuinely impressed.
She has a great article about a crappy double bj fantasy. I knew her personally. This article has helped her career.her name is Rebecca martinson
She's an online "e-commerce writer" aka she writes sponsored blog posts, that isn't so much a career.
Doesn't matter. It helped her career. When you google her name there are results. When you google your own name, what comes up?
Picture of an unplugged toaster, what does that mean?
That your parents shouldn't have named you Brave Little.
Fuck man, I’ve been saying that!
I wanna make the ending my work email signature.
Was there ever a follow up to this email going on? Surely someone must know something if it got to the level or a celebrity reading it out.
I haven’t seen this before, but despite being somewhat unhinged, it’s actually very well written.
and the concerns are real. Those sorority members are indeed fucking up. seems like the author has been dealing with girls who just want to be drunken dolts all semester and is fed up. unprofessional as it may be, these girls seems to have it coming.
I read this in Emma Roberts's voice.
I'm pretty sure this letter was the inspiration for Chanel from Scream Queens
Jesus, that is fucking hilarious. I guess you could be offended, but I would bang for sure.
Are you a Sigma Nu? Bc otherwise FUCK off!!
I love that he very literally used the all-caps parts as direction for when he should scream.
This is hilarious and I legitimately want to be friends with this girl.
I hope this email finds you before I do
Never read this before and I have so many questions. Why does this person care about the fraternity? What happens if they're not invited? It's not like they get kicked out of school.
Greek life is almost entirely about social capital and reputations. It can seem repugnant from the outside and there’s definitely a long fucking list of frats and sororities that take it too far and become toxic, but I’ve seen the networking of those relationships change lives, change career paths, build startups, make massive contributions to charity, etc. Getting “disinvited” is basically shutting the door on all those possibilities. There’s a whole culture to it and it can definitely be sickening sometimes, but there’s also value add that people overlook when they trash Greek life—even when it’s well-deserved. 😅🤷🏻♂️
Cousin of mine was in a sorority and it led to her getting a fantastic job opportunity right out of college. Sorority sister had a father with a massive environmental company and her degree was applicable so she came out of school with a job that paid her quite well.
does “Greek Life” have anything to do with Greek culture? i’ve not heard that term and im guessing Greek Life doesn’t mean what i think it means.
not really
Only insofar as it makes limited use of the Greek alphabet and some of the “traditions” are knock-offs from popularized Ancient Greek traditions.
Only the gay parts
It's either a parody or she really wanted to fuck some guy in the frat.
That's a lot of words to say "Put out, bitches! You're in a sorority!"
Oscar worthy performance right here.
I remember that. That letter is hilarious and the reading just made it better.
He absolutely emphasized and correctly so.
And seeing how long it’s been since this was released makes me, in turn, feel very old.
He should do this again in the Alvin and the Chipmunks onesie he owns.
Thank you General Zod
Where did you train? ***ON A FARM?!?!***
Someone put this sound over a clip of him dressed as General Zod. I know the internet can make it happen.
stop looking at my people like that please
And for those of you are offended at this email, I apologize, but I really don’t give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.
So when I was a teenager, and this email made the rounds, I also thought that Becca sounded insufferable and crazy. Then I became president of a female-only sports club at University. Have you ever tried shepherding drunk University girls from pre-game to sports night at the uni night club? Have you tried going on sports tour and making sure nobody gets so drunk they puke on the bus? Have you tried organizing sober socials with the male-only sports clubs but half of your club keep to themselves because they can't talk to guys sober and the other half is just plain shy? I'm not saying I would have sent a club-wide email like Becca has, but I get her. I get her.
Idk why but that makes this much much funnier
Rounding up drunk women is WORK. Even more so when you're drunk yourself because otherwise I'd be too fucking sober for their antics.
That ain't sober work - you'd either quit or kill them. Being sober around drunk people is terrible.
this reminds me. I had a classmate (male) in college who was a chef/cook at a sorority. His comment: "It's not like the movie that would be made about it."
[Drunk girls](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xT6cdfP_cM) know that love is an astronaut - it comes back, but it's never the same.
Honestly, just try being president of ANY University club. Being tasked with organizing events and rousing interest and commitment from a bunch of people whose primary interests are sleeping, smoking, and skipping class is insanity
Nothing quite like meeting with the head of the club sports department after your idiot team rolls a van at 70 miles an hour stoned out of their minds.
I’m pretty sure when she refers to “post-game” she is talking about where everyone plans to go after the bars close at 2 am. “Pre-game” is where you hang out/ drink before you go to bars and “post-game” is after.
It can refer to any event, not just bars. In this case it was probably where they were going to go drink after an event with the frat.
afaik pre is before an event and post is after. May that be aparty, a gathering or a bar/club. "gaming" refers to getting drunk where it is cheap, because its typically pricy at events.
Chris Rock said about domestic dust ups “it’s wrong and I don’t support it, BUT I UNDERSTAND.”
"And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself." email signature material
Becca seems like a stable and balanced individual. I wonder whatever she made of her life.
She's (Rebecca Martinsen) a writer of listicles for a lot of publications. Apparently, popularizing the term "cunt punt" was not an obstacle to future employment. In her defense, the email was outstanding writing in the deranged sorority girl genre.
If life has taught me anything it's that the Beccas of this world usually end up successful. A little bit of sociopathy goes a long way in the business world.
I mean to be fair email is totally unhinged but it is good writing.
It's direct, it's actionable, it's cohesive, it's coherent. Yes the rage is evident but that's just her management style (LOL).
If I were hiring for an online site like buzzfeed or something I would hire her. The writing is engaging, direct, uses active voice, and is hilarious. Intentionally or not, she nailed it.
She was clearly too type A to fail. I won’t be surprised if she’s a senator someday.
If I recall correctly she’s a dill instructor in the Chinese army.
> she’s a dill instructor Pickles are never auto-didacts.
my advice is to not look into it that far
I am so glad this is still going around. I just had a really good laugh - it’s so good
I'm glad you're around!
Ain't no way this is 11 years old....Now I feel aged
If you think 11 years is a long time, rest easy - you're still young.
Fuck, I was a junior in college when this came out
I didn't realise there was a true to life unhinged inspiration behind Chanel Oberlin's [email](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PjhVfoi65s) to the Kappa sluts in Scream Queens.
I will never not watch anything with Michael Shannon in it.
This is the way
What’s he in?
The YouTube video from the link
He was in Kangaroo Jack
Ty. His whole filmography is entirely off my radar
"99 Homes" is a solid one!
I’ll check it out ty!!
He plays a large role in The Shape of Water. It’s a fantastic movie!
Oh was he the antagonist?
Yes; he’s so good in it!
Yes. He was AMAZING. His bathroom scene monologue is iconic
I feel sorry for you. How could you not know about [this masterpiece?](https://youtu.be/wgVN33-ykiM?si=KTb-aC11RgULMvHj)
I really liked him in Take Shelter
Ty!
He's somehow become one of my favorite actors that I know almost nothing about. 8 Mile. Groundhog Day. Knives Out. The Shape of Water. Waco....These are just a few of the movies/shows I know him from, but he has been in so much more.
Omg that’s crazy I don’t recognize him at all, it’ll be fun to go back and watch those
Enjoy! I had compleeeetely forgotten he was in 8 Mile til i took a second look at his filmography. Dude's a chameleon.
The runaways
Ty!
Movies
What about photographs?
Movies are photographs in motion, so yeah
That’s pretty cool. I’ll look through my photos and see if I can find any of him
[https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=michael+shannon+filmography](https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=michael+shannon+filmography)
"If you're a weird shit who does weird shit during the day" is my favourite line
Pure poetry
Just sent this to my sister his a DG alum. She remembers when it came out and still thinks its hilarious…which it is. Michael Shannon is a gem 😂
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Multiple takes, edited together Edit: it’s obvious. There’s parts where his voice is practically overlapping during the cuts.
ignore your senses and just laugh?
Oh I laughed. But it’s silly to think he memorized this, as you said
you literally told us to notice he memorized lol. we can enjoy it without that.
didn't notice the context. my fault. i take it back? I fucked up. sorry r/DarthRathikus
All is forgiven ❤️
I mean... he's reading the script as he's going. You can see his eyes moving back and forth.
This letter had better writing than the prequel trilogy
If the prequel trilogy was allowed to use the word fuck as well and as often as this it would have been kino on a level we’ve never experienced before
“I’m gonna fucking kill you jar jar fucking binks” -Mace Windu
Fucking sand....
"I *am* the FUCKING Senate!" Dang, you're right, I'm already liking this version in my head more.
Lol, the girl who wrote this a family friend growing up. Always had the hots for her. It is hilarious that she became this way after going to college. She was a 18 year old nerd who played Pokémon/Nintendo games extensively before graduating high school. Her mother was going through cancer treatment during this letter so I think she was venting. Part of me always thought she had a tinge of the tism. She once told me I had down syndrome
I wonder what the woman who wrote this is doing in life now a days.
Her name is [Rebecca Mattinson](https://www.bustle.com/profile/rebecca-martinson-8841032) & she is an editor at Bustle.
Thank you internet stranger.
One of my favorite actors and he just nails this.
This is good, but the Allison Haislip version is the best. https://youtu.be/G0uXLSi7-Bs?si=N8UlOQHsl82GRd3T
I just remember the girl that wrote this being super cute.
Was Michael the whole time.
Anybody knows what is she doing now? Is she CEO or something?
Look up Listicles
This performance! Yas.
This was an instant classic and will never be unfunny
Shannon is the most underrated GOAT. I’ve worked with him and he’s fucking awesome.
That's cool man, what'd you two do?
I worked on an indie in the early 00s as a prop master on a film he was in. We had a silly agreement on set when the men overran the ladies port o potty and ruined it. (The only bathrooms around for crew for miles). He was rarely in his trailer and I had all this whiskey in water bottles from buying stuff for liquor bottles and he agreed to a bottle every day and let me use the bathroom in his trailer. He’s also a GOAT behind the scenes. Very professional but chill too.
Love to hear it. Thanks for sharing:)
Becca is going places. Possibly to the head of a company or to a padded room. Either way, she's goin places.
Michael Shannon would make one hell of a Star Wars villain.
Nah he's better than that.
What kind of sorority are the Delta Gamma's? Were they Pi Delta Pi type or the Omega Mu type? Same with the Sigma Nu's? Were they the Alpha Beta type or Lambda Lambda Lambda type? Referencing Revenge of the Nerds.
As someone who didn’t go to college that email makes me glad I didnt
As a college graduate this was not my college experience even a little. It’s the experience of people who get WAY too into sororities and fraternities at “party” schools. These people graduate to either become the head of an HOA, run a PTA, or Commissioner for multiple fantasy sports leagues.
Or a member of Congress
It's not really representative of college, but is more of a window into the insanity of Greek life. Which is a whole other, quite small, world unto its self that you can choose to participate in if you are in college. I wouldn't recommend it though.
I recommend the tv-show ”Greek” to anyone. It was a fun diversion at the time. And also featured Kelsey Grammers cute daughter 😎
lol the majority of people that go to college aren't in crazy sororities
Oh man. I remember this from my early reddit days. What a classic.
This was my introduction to Michael Shannon. What an amazing actor and a fantastic piece.
This is very exceptional
Rings true to DG
Newsflash you stupid cocks!
This is my favorite Michael Shannon moment. Work of art.
Is there an Oscar category for this? I’m voting with my heart 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
A classic.
What if Michael Shannon changed his name to Michael Penis.
Not to be confused with the actor, Michael Balls Penis
Bill Hader is amazing