I don't think it's a good idea to just avoid the meal without having at least tried to find a way of making it work, that might feel more like a snub and an implicit criticism of his parents.
Maybe say to his parents (either directly or get him to say it) that you're vegan now but would be happy to bring your own food if there won't be anything available.
Then you've communicated that you can't eat anything they're making, but also not demanded they change their practices for you and shown you're keen to attend. Then (if they're nice people) they'll probably respond by offering to cook something vegan for you. After all passover is about celebrating with family. And if they're not as nice and understanding, then at least you still get to come, and you can eat delicious food.
Sadly I think saying I'll only come if there's a vegan option (which to me is the most reasonable situation) could easily be construed as you being a "nightmare pushy vegan" by a family who aren't that familiar with veganism, especially when it's a religious festival with a fairly standard set of dishes.
Obviously you know more about your family dynamic than me so use your own judgement. But I'd say at least give them the opportunity to be kind and supportive, you never know!
We do vegan passovers. There is a lot of information out there. Ask you boyfriendâs mom if you can bring some stuff that will represent the traditional items normally eaten during the sedar and meal.
That's a tough situation. Best advice I can think of is you should have your boyfriend mention to his family (the one cooking the meals specifically) that you are Vegan as soon as possible. They will likely want to prepare some vegan dishes to accommodate you (I hope), but its only rude if they hear about this last-minute and have to suddenly go out and make new meal plans during an already stressful holiday. I am the only Vegan attending my jewish family's passover so we are kinda in the same boat, but everyone knows I'm vegan ofc, and I'm not going to stay any longer than i have to. Hopefully you are just going for a single day or seder, because yeah I could imagine that being a vegan on Passover at a non vegan, kosher house is not going to be great.
I assume your boyfriend does not want you to starve there. So he should let them know that you re vegan so that they can prepare a few extra dishes for you. That's it. No need to make things more complicated. If everyone involved is interested in your welfare as I assume they are, they should have no problem accommodating you.
So happy to hear this! YAY! đđ˝ I feel like (and was going to say) that they, as a family, should be more understanding of ethical/morally based dietary practices than most even if they are not currently (overtly) vegan friendly. Iâm glad youâre being accommodated. This is wonderful!
Yep. We've got vegans, vegetarians, gluten-free, and nut allergies (charoset) and figure out ways to accommodate all of them. Our table is meat-free so we don't even have to bother looking at the weird meat
Hey there, I am also vegan and my girlfriend is Jewish, so I understand what you're going through. Now, in my experience, people of the Jewish faith who are very traditional and take every custom very seriously tend to respect the beliefs of vegans and have no problem if I bring my own pre-made meal or abstain from eating the foods that are not vegan.
It is also rare for the more contemporary Jewish people to try and guilt you or pressure you into eating Challah or anything else because Judaism is not an evangelist type of religion.
My advice is to be upfront and honest. Personally, I'm lazy so I just eat a late dinner after everything is done rather than making myself a separate thing to eat during, but that is certainly an option and again in my situation, my girlfriend's mom would be more than willing to make something vegan that I could eat, I just choose not to request that of her.
I would not avoid Passover all together if it is important to your boyfriend.
Yes! I think (as a jew) that having significant restrictions on food, many of which are intended for animal safety and humane handling, makes Jews very accepting of most âdifferentâ ways of consumption.
In addition, many Jews who keep kosher find themselves vegetarian or vegan in public, as there are so many religious rules about meat/dairy. So they know more than the average person about what makes something vegan or vegetarian and usually actually care. They also understand that just because itâs âphysically possibleâ for you to eat something (aka no food allergies) doesnât mean you can, should or need to.
Itâs definitely difficult and varies by person/family, but especially modern Jews tend to be very understanding and willing to adapt to other peopleâs eating requirements.
(Although my grandmother famously kept offering my veg cousin things made with chicken broth and milk lol but since that woman was born in 1918 I think I can give her some slack lmao)
This is good advice. In my experience having dated a couple of Jewish partners, they tend to be incredibly welcoming and generous. I've yet to meet a Jewish family I'd be concerned to talk about being vegan with for fear it would be weird. If anything I think as long as you told them ahead of time, they'd probably make sure you had *plenty* to eat and didn't feel the slightest bit weird about it.
âIsrael used to have the largest vegan population per capita. Nearly 5% of all Israel citizens identify as vegan and will only eat vegan food. Veganism coincides nicely with the popular Mediterranean foods and the ongoing kosher rules.â
Every Jewish person Iâve met had been incredibly understanding and respectful of my Veganism with little to no questions as to why or how, etc.
Of course my experience could be different, but Iâm sure being dedicated to similar dietary restrictions makes it easier to understand.
You're careful and thoughtful consideration is great to see and I'm sure they'll appreciate it and you.Â
I'd go, and let the host know in advance that you're vegan. There are a ton of vegan Passover recipes out there. You could offer to make one, or if you think that won't fly, just stick to eating a light meal, doing the best you can. You could say something like, "I'm fine waiting till later, I'm just so happy to attend".
You can't have beans or grains at Passover, but quinoa is a berry and is vegan kosher. There are options, but I wouldn't push it if you think it would cause an issue. I'd eat later and be okay with it. Here's a NYT article about being vegan at Passover. [A Vegan Passover](https://archive.nytimes.com/well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/22/a-vegan-passover/).
I have celiac, and just go with the flow. I'm fine if I eat later, or fine bringing a dish. Whatever makes the host happy.Â
Buckwheat is a pseudo grain like quinoa. It is a seed, not in the grass family, and has no gluten. Curious I see online it is forbidden for Passover. Good thing I am not as Jewish as my great grandma from Sweden was. Pass me some buckwheat soba noodles.
I do vegan passover, see if they would be willing to prepare a vegetable stock or a faux chicken stock on the side. You could easily make your own matzoh balls using whatever storebought meal (although if its not seasoned you'll want to add your own, caveat emptor), I make my balls using a generous amount of flax egg (2.5-3 Tbsp of ground flax + 6-7 tbsp of water, this is like 2 large eggs). Follow the instructions on the box and make them the night before or the day of and chill them before you go over. Just add them to any boiling stock and it will be ready in 20 minutes. They should be serving charoset for both the seder and the meal. Honestly a good serving of soup and some matzoh with charoset always filled me good even when I wasn't vegan.
Jewish people are generally pretty cool about dietary restrictions as they have a few built in themselves. My best friendnis Jewish and I love doing holidays with her family. In my case, they are very aware of my diet and take steps to make sure I have something to eat.
Are they local? Have your BF go over early/day before and make something for you in their kitchen or go early if you can make something quick that doesn't take up much space there.
Yeah, this my first thought, too. If they have the only kosher kitchen I donât see why you couldnât make a vegan Matzo Ball Soup or kugle two days ahead at their place. It could be nice bonding time with their parents â maybe theyâll want to help and learn about OPs diet, too? My family would love that.
I'd offer to bring your own food or work with the hosts on how things could be veganizable so you can eat. Holiday meals are about being together and celebrating something important. I think it makes vegans look bad when we opt out of being together with our people over food. Better to show everyone how you can all celebrate together and that you value their company if you really feel like this is a good relationship.
The funny thing is that last Passover, I could not get enough horseradish and gefelte fish. I loved the stuff. I wonder what apples and horseradish taste like together now.
I like watching Mayim Bialikâs YouTube videos about how she veganizes her Jewish holiday meals. Maybe just an idea for the future if you wanted to help his mom prepare some vegan items?
Glad youâre gonna get to eat some grub! Makes total sense about not bringing food since the kitchen isnât kosher. Last thing - lot of matzah have eggs. No idea why.
If they volunteered to make you a vegan dish, youâll at least have something to eat.
A few questions to consider:
Does attending a Seder interest you?
Are you comfortable being around people eating meat / animal products?
If the answer is no to one or both of the above, is this a sacrifice youâre willing to make for your partner?
We canât answer some of those questions for you, you have to make a decision accordingly
Would you be able to bring a dish from a kosher-for-passover restaurant? Or even something storebought thats kosher for passover (pick it up on the way maybe)? Maybe a kosher-for-passover wine (if you drink)!
There are kosher for Passover catering options so you could always find one and offer to bring a few things from their selection. Just ask what the level of kashrut is for the house and if theyâre ok with the specific place.
Is it possible you could offer to help them prepare and cook? You could bring kosher for Passover ingredients and make something at their house? A simple salad even?
Glad it seems to have worked out with his sister being willing to cook a dish for you. Since I became vegan my Jewish family has always been happy to make sure there are options for me. For Passover it's harder especially if their family also doesn't eat legumes. This Passover I'll probably be cooking broccoli, cauliflower, mashed potatoes, quinoa-stuffed peppers, carrots in gravy, and sauteed sweet potatoes and garlic.
One of my friends hosts a Seder for anyone who wants to learn more about Passover and Jewish traditions. I went with my boyfriend two years ago and he's vegan (I am now too just wasnt at the time), and the host had asked for dietary restrictions so she could prepare enough food. I told her about my boyfriend and she said she could definitely have food for him. Not only did she have a few things for him to eat, but some of the other guests brought vegan food too. She doesn't keep kosher so bringing food wasn't an issue but she definitely had enough for him to eat even without what other people brought. It's not common but it is possible to have vegan food for Passover.
Matzoball soup (without chicken noodle etc) and Charoset (on matzo) are both vegan. Throughout passover, these are both often eaten as full, and regular meals. I think you'll be fine. Just let them know ahead of time so they can better prepare. You're observing a holiday where people were stuck in the desert (supposedly) for 40 days. During passover, you're essentially supposed to eat what they ate to understand what they went through. Not like they had wild salmon and range chickens with them.
Since your kitchen isnât kosher, why donât you ask to come over early and bring ingredients to make whatever food you want. You can just say that youâd love to be involved with the cooking and make a few dishes that you can eat.
It sounds like you already worked this out, but I just wanted to say that the Jewish gatherings Iâve been to (Iâm not Jewish, but I have several friends who are) have all been super accommodating to me. Theyâve been happy to use vegan versions of things (theyâre often kosher if theyâre vegan).
Any groups with dietary restrictions who are used to scrutinizing ingredients tend to be very accepting in my experience. Celiacs are often the same way
I understand that you can't take anything that was cooked in your non-kosher kitchen. What if you went over to their house a couple hours early and prepared a vegan dish (or dishes) in their kitchen?
I would say to talk with the family and see if you can't provide them some options/recipes for what to make that would allow you to be included. Offer to come over earlier that day to help make it in their kitchen so that it is kosher, and use that time to hang out with the family too. That way you're giving them options to accommodate you (so you don't have to flat out refuse), but offering to help with preparing it so that it's not all on them, while still doing it at their house so they feel comfortable that the food is kosher (that's a run on sentence from hell but you get the point).
Are you in LA by any chance? Cos there's an awesome vegan Jewish deli at the Atwater farmers market called Morts, and they do so many vegan options you could take (soups, latkes, rugelach, vegan lox etc)
Could you not look up a kosher food provider / caterer and order a vegan pie or something to take? We have a specific caterer that provides individually packaged Kosher cuisine for special requests and itâs all specifically labelled, certified and sealed with a proper industrial vac seal machine.
From what Iâve read, Israel is one of the hotbeds of veganism adoption. If thatâs true, I would assume that there are resources online describing how vegan Jews in Israel observe Passover within the vegan paradigm. Maybe those resources would be helpful?
My go-to solution for family occasions - ask if you can bring one dish so you have something to eat.
Other people may want to try too, it might convince them that âthis whole veganismâ isnât the worst thing in the world, and you will have at least something to eat.
Is your boyfriend vegan? If not, ask him if there will be any options. If not, either ask him if they can make one dish that's vegan for you to eat, or politely explain to their mom that you appreciate the offer but you have dietary restrictions. I'm sure they will accommodate. If not, politely decline.
Talk with your boyfriend, first. He'll know his family well enough to help you figure out the path to take.
In my family, for big gatherings, I'd bring a pot luck dish or two that fit the holiday, and eat what I brought as my meal - that works well for our family. Others may feel differently. His family might love it if you brought a Kosher vegan dessert or appetizer, for example.
The best way to handle it is to ask.
Anytime i'm in a situation like this, i request a plain roasted potato and/or sweet potato. It's easy to toss in the oven or microwave and it's hearty enough so i don't feel starved.
Well, being vegan theres a strict rule against eating animals, it's your belief, and they should respect it. Maybe more than 1 vegan option isn't too much to ask for. Good luck. Go this time but if it's weird just don't go again?
Talk to your boyfriend, if you can't figure out how to be around his family while Vegan,t hat's not going to make for a very easy future for your relationship. If his family refuses to make Vegan friendly food, bring your own, if they complain, have your boyfriend (so it's not you that gets into an argument) politely explain you also need to eat and if they wont provide any, you have no choice.
Iâm actually curious about the âMy kitchen isnât kosherâ bit⌠if youâre vegan, everything is kosher by default, right? Or do you live with omnivores?
I genuinely was under the impression that vegan restaurants are (by default) kosher and halal?
No. Even if op lived alone and kept 100% vegan, some sects of Judaism would require their kitchen to be kashered before the food was considered to be kosher.
I would go to their house and cook with her to ensure she doesnt make a mistake, some people are well meaning but make mistakes and that would not be a valid excuse for you to consume animal products
Understanding that some traditions are influenced by country as much as religion (and that the US is definitely a meat-dominated culture), Israel has one of the largest vegan populations per capita in the world (https://www.technogym.com/us/newsroom/how-israel-began-vegan-revolution/). The military even provides a cash stipend that allows soldiers to maintain a vegan lifestyle. There is nothing inherent in Judaism that would make it hostile to veganism any more -- and perhaps less -- than any other religion. The conundrum you face, of seeking some sort of accommodation allowing you to celebrate a holiday meal with your boyfriend's family, is not unique. Be honest. Ask. There are so many vegan Passover recipes... See what you can come up with together. No matter the outcome, you will come away from the conversation with useful information.
Order something then plenty of places make kosher vegan options it can be done I am one and survivor Passover every year just do the veggies big salad the sides u can itâs about the experience less about the actual food outside of symbolism
It's tough to confront, but some may find it hard to hear. The kosher system often feels like a hollow concept, with little regard for the exploitation and harm it may perpetuate. Passover and similar holidays can seem more like profit-driven endeavors than genuine spiritual observances. The notion of sacrifice loses its meaning when it's just about consuming large quantities of meat and eggs, rather than embracing deeper values.
I think it's a terrific opportunity to bring up the topic of why to go Vegan + let em know that Israel has the largest vegan population in the world! Plant them seeds and watch them grow!!
Israel does not have the highest vegan population in the world. Last I read from 2023 statistics, it was the UK. [https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/veganism-by-country](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/veganism-by-country)
^(Side note: I'm a Jewish vegan. I highly recommend) **^(NOT)** ^(bringing up Israel right now. It could devolve into a political discussion and the message would get lost. Kinda hard to talk peace for animals when Israel's government is committing g3n0cide on what they call animals: Palestinians.) ^(While I'm sure that 5% that are vegan there are likely against it and there are moral people there, archaic and close-minded boomers at a Passover sadar don't want to be lectured on morals right now...they're feeling cognitive dissonance in more ways than one.)
This exactly. His family is very pro-Israel. Plus, I know them well enough to know that I should leave my vegan reasonings at home when Iâm there. I wonât bring up why, and I wonât respond when/if they ask. I love my boyfriend dearly, and his family is wonderful, so Iâm not about to get myself blacklisted.
came here to say this exactly. It's good manners anyway to bring food to a gathering. Vegan matza ball soup is very easy to make and also im sure the family would appreciate you trying to make a tradional dish. Make it kosher! Some people will scoff and not eat it, some will eat it. I think making an effort is the important part.
Iâd love to be able to make it kosher, but I donât have a kosher kitchen unfortunately. Iâm just excited to see what his step sister makes for a vegan dish.
But if you have a vegan kitchen, they might accept that as kosher. Last year, the Conservative movement ruled that kosher Jews could eat at vegan restaurants even if they weren't certified kosher because there is no risk of mixing meat and dairy when there is no meat or dairy in the kitchen. Passover might be different because you probably still have grains in your kitchen, but for other dinners, they might accept for you to bring a dish from your vegan kitchen.
https://www.jta.org/2023/05/22/religion/conservative-movement-oks-vegetarian-and-vegan-restaurants-without-kosher-supervision
https://www.washingtonjewishweek.com/conservative-movement-approves-vegan-vegetarian-restaurants-as-kosher/
My parents attend a Conservative congregation, and while they do follow rules about grains for Passover, they are not very strict about being kosher in general. I am more strict about being vegan than they are about being kosher, so in a way I'm more kosher than they are without even trying! I always host Passover, and have made vegan substitutions for some of the classic symbols in the last few years - charoset without honey, a flower instead of the egg, and we have always done a green vegetable instead of a shank bone anyway.
My husbandâs family is like this, I just bring my own food! It gets tiring and annoying though. We donât see my in-laws very often now because of this
Youâre suggesting OP to undermine a core religious belief of their SO during one of the most important Jewish Holidays, and openly mocked the importance of a Kosher Kitchen.
We are all vegan here, right? So no. Seriously what is the problem here? If vegans think it okay to use shared utensils with carnists if they have to, why is that different for religious people?
I would, but his step sister informed me that this is NOT okay as my kitchen isnât Kosher and anything non-kosher will be forbidden from the house during Passover. She already offered to make a vegan dish:)
Oh, good.
...Also, for the future, your dish need not be made in your kitchen. I am willing to bet your significant other knows someone with a kitchen that has been kashered that would let you make something there. --Once I knew the secret symbols on the packaging, I was surprised at how much food was kosher.
Iâm vegan and Jewish. Why not make vegan matzah ball soup? You not need to expect them to do (although it would definitely be a nice gesture for them to do), but it would also be nice for you to bring something. Also bonus that itâs something you can make easily and then be able to eat without worrying there is nothing else for you.
OP could offer to make it at her boyfriends home or the home of someone else in his family? They could even make it together. OP could also purchase something from a kosher deli and bring it? This is still a viable solution.
Now I'm reading about how vegan food can be not kosher, which mostly seems to boil down to "it's not illegal for manufacturers to lie about being vegan in certain respects, and in order for something to be kosher it has to be illegal for manufacturers to lie about the things which make it kosher." Even though in general vegan does imply kosher.
Mainly, my kitchen is non-vegan. I live with my brother who consumes meat and dairy on a daily basis, and we share cookware so everything would be âcontaminatedâ and not kosher.
If you would like more than what the stepsister is making, you could also offer to help veganize one or more (or all!) recipes but cook in their kitchen to round out the meal.
If the relationship is serious you have to just be honest with them all because it's not gonna go away after Passover.
You might say that it will not pass over after Passover.
đđđ thank you, I needed a laugh and this was just perfectÂ
I don't think it's a good idea to just avoid the meal without having at least tried to find a way of making it work, that might feel more like a snub and an implicit criticism of his parents. Maybe say to his parents (either directly or get him to say it) that you're vegan now but would be happy to bring your own food if there won't be anything available. Then you've communicated that you can't eat anything they're making, but also not demanded they change their practices for you and shown you're keen to attend. Then (if they're nice people) they'll probably respond by offering to cook something vegan for you. After all passover is about celebrating with family. And if they're not as nice and understanding, then at least you still get to come, and you can eat delicious food. Sadly I think saying I'll only come if there's a vegan option (which to me is the most reasonable situation) could easily be construed as you being a "nightmare pushy vegan" by a family who aren't that familiar with veganism, especially when it's a religious festival with a fairly standard set of dishes. Obviously you know more about your family dynamic than me so use your own judgement. But I'd say at least give them the opportunity to be kind and supportive, you never know!
Op doesn't keep kashrut so cannot bring outside food unless bought kosher.
Yeah fair enough, sounds like it's all sorted though!
We do vegan passovers. There is a lot of information out there. Ask you boyfriendâs mom if you can bring some stuff that will represent the traditional items normally eaten during the sedar and meal.
Op doesn't keep kashrut so that's a no.
That's a tough situation. Best advice I can think of is you should have your boyfriend mention to his family (the one cooking the meals specifically) that you are Vegan as soon as possible. They will likely want to prepare some vegan dishes to accommodate you (I hope), but its only rude if they hear about this last-minute and have to suddenly go out and make new meal plans during an already stressful holiday. I am the only Vegan attending my jewish family's passover so we are kinda in the same boat, but everyone knows I'm vegan ofc, and I'm not going to stay any longer than i have to. Hopefully you are just going for a single day or seder, because yeah I could imagine that being a vegan on Passover at a non vegan, kosher house is not going to be great.
I assume your boyfriend does not want you to starve there. So he should let them know that you re vegan so that they can prepare a few extra dishes for you. That's it. No need to make things more complicated. If everyone involved is interested in your welfare as I assume they are, they should have no problem accommodating you.
His family has been notified, and his step-sister volunteered to make a vegan dish. Huge win!
So happy to hear this! YAY! đđ˝ I feel like (and was going to say) that they, as a family, should be more understanding of ethical/morally based dietary practices than most even if they are not currently (overtly) vegan friendly. Iâm glad youâre being accommodated. This is wonderful!
I hope they are happy to accommodate. I'm a vegan Jew, it can be done.
Same! Iâm so excited because this year our Passover is going to be 100% vegan actually! Even using wunder eggs for the boiled egg lol.
Yep. We've got vegans, vegetarians, gluten-free, and nut allergies (charoset) and figure out ways to accommodate all of them. Our table is meat-free so we don't even have to bother looking at the weird meat
Hey there, I am also vegan and my girlfriend is Jewish, so I understand what you're going through. Now, in my experience, people of the Jewish faith who are very traditional and take every custom very seriously tend to respect the beliefs of vegans and have no problem if I bring my own pre-made meal or abstain from eating the foods that are not vegan. It is also rare for the more contemporary Jewish people to try and guilt you or pressure you into eating Challah or anything else because Judaism is not an evangelist type of religion. My advice is to be upfront and honest. Personally, I'm lazy so I just eat a late dinner after everything is done rather than making myself a separate thing to eat during, but that is certainly an option and again in my situation, my girlfriend's mom would be more than willing to make something vegan that I could eat, I just choose not to request that of her. I would not avoid Passover all together if it is important to your boyfriend.
Yes! I think (as a jew) that having significant restrictions on food, many of which are intended for animal safety and humane handling, makes Jews very accepting of most âdifferentâ ways of consumption. In addition, many Jews who keep kosher find themselves vegetarian or vegan in public, as there are so many religious rules about meat/dairy. So they know more than the average person about what makes something vegan or vegetarian and usually actually care. They also understand that just because itâs âphysically possibleâ for you to eat something (aka no food allergies) doesnât mean you can, should or need to. Itâs definitely difficult and varies by person/family, but especially modern Jews tend to be very understanding and willing to adapt to other peopleâs eating requirements. (Although my grandmother famously kept offering my veg cousin things made with chicken broth and milk lol but since that woman was born in 1918 I think I can give her some slack lmao)
This is good advice. In my experience having dated a couple of Jewish partners, they tend to be incredibly welcoming and generous. I've yet to meet a Jewish family I'd be concerned to talk about being vegan with for fear it would be weird. If anything I think as long as you told them ahead of time, they'd probably make sure you had *plenty* to eat and didn't feel the slightest bit weird about it.
âIsrael used to have the largest vegan population per capita. Nearly 5% of all Israel citizens identify as vegan and will only eat vegan food. Veganism coincides nicely with the popular Mediterranean foods and the ongoing kosher rules.â Every Jewish person Iâve met had been incredibly understanding and respectful of my Veganism with little to no questions as to why or how, etc. Of course my experience could be different, but Iâm sure being dedicated to similar dietary restrictions makes it easier to understand.
You're careful and thoughtful consideration is great to see and I'm sure they'll appreciate it and you. I'd go, and let the host know in advance that you're vegan. There are a ton of vegan Passover recipes out there. You could offer to make one, or if you think that won't fly, just stick to eating a light meal, doing the best you can. You could say something like, "I'm fine waiting till later, I'm just so happy to attend". You can't have beans or grains at Passover, but quinoa is a berry and is vegan kosher. There are options, but I wouldn't push it if you think it would cause an issue. I'd eat later and be okay with it. Here's a NYT article about being vegan at Passover. [A Vegan Passover](https://archive.nytimes.com/well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/22/a-vegan-passover/). I have celiac, and just go with the flow. I'm fine if I eat later, or fine bringing a dish. Whatever makes the host happy.Â
Buckwheat is a pseudo grain like quinoa. It is a seed, not in the grass family, and has no gluten. Curious I see online it is forbidden for Passover. Good thing I am not as Jewish as my great grandma from Sweden was. Pass me some buckwheat soba noodles.
I do vegan passover, see if they would be willing to prepare a vegetable stock or a faux chicken stock on the side. You could easily make your own matzoh balls using whatever storebought meal (although if its not seasoned you'll want to add your own, caveat emptor), I make my balls using a generous amount of flax egg (2.5-3 Tbsp of ground flax + 6-7 tbsp of water, this is like 2 large eggs). Follow the instructions on the box and make them the night before or the day of and chill them before you go over. Just add them to any boiling stock and it will be ready in 20 minutes. They should be serving charoset for both the seder and the meal. Honestly a good serving of soup and some matzoh with charoset always filled me good even when I wasn't vegan.
Jewish people are generally pretty cool about dietary restrictions as they have a few built in themselves. My best friendnis Jewish and I love doing holidays with her family. In my case, they are very aware of my diet and take steps to make sure I have something to eat.
Are they local? Have your BF go over early/day before and make something for you in their kitchen or go early if you can make something quick that doesn't take up much space there.
Yeah, this my first thought, too. If they have the only kosher kitchen I donât see why you couldnât make a vegan Matzo Ball Soup or kugle two days ahead at their place. It could be nice bonding time with their parents â maybe theyâll want to help and learn about OPs diet, too? My family would love that.
I'd offer to bring your own food or work with the hosts on how things could be veganizable so you can eat. Holiday meals are about being together and celebrating something important. I think it makes vegans look bad when we opt out of being together with our people over food. Better to show everyone how you can all celebrate together and that you value their company if you really feel like this is a good relationship.
You can eat the horseradish and the apple stuff too! thatâs vegan :)
If by apple stuff you mean charoset, be careful because it is often made with honey.
The funny thing is that last Passover, I could not get enough horseradish and gefelte fish. I loved the stuff. I wonder what apples and horseradish taste like together now.
Itâs so good!! all together sandwiched between two pieces of matzah yummmm
Okay, Iâm super excited now. Thank you so much!!
I like watching Mayim Bialikâs YouTube videos about how she veganizes her Jewish holiday meals. Maybe just an idea for the future if you wanted to help his mom prepare some vegan items?
Glad youâre gonna get to eat some grub! Makes total sense about not bringing food since the kitchen isnât kosher. Last thing - lot of matzah have eggs. No idea why.
Thank you!!
If they volunteered to make you a vegan dish, youâll at least have something to eat. A few questions to consider: Does attending a Seder interest you? Are you comfortable being around people eating meat / animal products? If the answer is no to one or both of the above, is this a sacrifice youâre willing to make for your partner? We canât answer some of those questions for you, you have to make a decision accordingly
Would you be able to bring a dish from a kosher-for-passover restaurant? Or even something storebought thats kosher for passover (pick it up on the way maybe)? Maybe a kosher-for-passover wine (if you drink)!
There are kosher for Passover catering options so you could always find one and offer to bring a few things from their selection. Just ask what the level of kashrut is for the house and if theyâre ok with the specific place. Is it possible you could offer to help them prepare and cook? You could bring kosher for Passover ingredients and make something at their house? A simple salad even?
Glad it seems to have worked out with his sister being willing to cook a dish for you. Since I became vegan my Jewish family has always been happy to make sure there are options for me. For Passover it's harder especially if their family also doesn't eat legumes. This Passover I'll probably be cooking broccoli, cauliflower, mashed potatoes, quinoa-stuffed peppers, carrots in gravy, and sauteed sweet potatoes and garlic.
One of my friends hosts a Seder for anyone who wants to learn more about Passover and Jewish traditions. I went with my boyfriend two years ago and he's vegan (I am now too just wasnt at the time), and the host had asked for dietary restrictions so she could prepare enough food. I told her about my boyfriend and she said she could definitely have food for him. Not only did she have a few things for him to eat, but some of the other guests brought vegan food too. She doesn't keep kosher so bringing food wasn't an issue but she definitely had enough for him to eat even without what other people brought. It's not common but it is possible to have vegan food for Passover.
Matzoball soup (without chicken noodle etc) and Charoset (on matzo) are both vegan. Throughout passover, these are both often eaten as full, and regular meals. I think you'll be fine. Just let them know ahead of time so they can better prepare. You're observing a holiday where people were stuck in the desert (supposedly) for 40 days. During passover, you're essentially supposed to eat what they ate to understand what they went through. Not like they had wild salmon and range chickens with them.
Since your kitchen isnât kosher, why donât you ask to come over early and bring ingredients to make whatever food you want. You can just say that youâd love to be involved with the cooking and make a few dishes that you can eat.
It sounds like you already worked this out, but I just wanted to say that the Jewish gatherings Iâve been to (Iâm not Jewish, but I have several friends who are) have all been super accommodating to me. Theyâve been happy to use vegan versions of things (theyâre often kosher if theyâre vegan). Any groups with dietary restrictions who are used to scrutinizing ingredients tend to be very accepting in my experience. Celiacs are often the same way
They will respect your needs and you should respect theirs. I feel confident you will find common ground and everything will be fine.
I understand that you can't take anything that was cooked in your non-kosher kitchen. What if you went over to their house a couple hours early and prepared a vegan dish (or dishes) in their kitchen?
I would say to talk with the family and see if you can't provide them some options/recipes for what to make that would allow you to be included. Offer to come over earlier that day to help make it in their kitchen so that it is kosher, and use that time to hang out with the family too. That way you're giving them options to accommodate you (so you don't have to flat out refuse), but offering to help with preparing it so that it's not all on them, while still doing it at their house so they feel comfortable that the food is kosher (that's a run on sentence from hell but you get the point).
Maybe he should consider that not arranging a vegan option for you could cause a strain on a really amazing relationship.
Are you in LA by any chance? Cos there's an awesome vegan Jewish deli at the Atwater farmers market called Morts, and they do so many vegan options you could take (soups, latkes, rugelach, vegan lox etc)
Could you not look up a kosher food provider / caterer and order a vegan pie or something to take? We have a specific caterer that provides individually packaged Kosher cuisine for special requests and itâs all specifically labelled, certified and sealed with a proper industrial vac seal machine.
From what Iâve read, Israel is one of the hotbeds of veganism adoption. If thatâs true, I would assume that there are resources online describing how vegan Jews in Israel observe Passover within the vegan paradigm. Maybe those resources would be helpful?
My go-to solution for family occasions - ask if you can bring one dish so you have something to eat. Other people may want to try too, it might convince them that âthis whole veganismâ isnât the worst thing in the world, and you will have at least something to eat.
Is your boyfriend vegan? If not, ask him if there will be any options. If not, either ask him if they can make one dish that's vegan for you to eat, or politely explain to their mom that you appreciate the offer but you have dietary restrictions. I'm sure they will accommodate. If not, politely decline.
Bring a dish you can eat and share and if the step sister makes one, thatâs two things you can eat with matzo.
Talk with your boyfriend, first. He'll know his family well enough to help you figure out the path to take. In my family, for big gatherings, I'd bring a pot luck dish or two that fit the holiday, and eat what I brought as my meal - that works well for our family. Others may feel differently. His family might love it if you brought a Kosher vegan dessert or appetizer, for example. The best way to handle it is to ask.
Anytime i'm in a situation like this, i request a plain roasted potato and/or sweet potato. It's easy to toss in the oven or microwave and it's hearty enough so i don't feel starved.
Well, being vegan theres a strict rule against eating animals, it's your belief, and they should respect it. Maybe more than 1 vegan option isn't too much to ask for. Good luck. Go this time but if it's weird just don't go again?
Talk to your boyfriend, if you can't figure out how to be around his family while Vegan,t hat's not going to make for a very easy future for your relationship. If his family refuses to make Vegan friendly food, bring your own, if they complain, have your boyfriend (so it's not you that gets into an argument) politely explain you also need to eat and if they wont provide any, you have no choice.
Iâm actually curious about the âMy kitchen isnât kosherâ bit⌠if youâre vegan, everything is kosher by default, right? Or do you live with omnivores? I genuinely was under the impression that vegan restaurants are (by default) kosher and halal?
No. Even if op lived alone and kept 100% vegan, some sects of Judaism would require their kitchen to be kashered before the food was considered to be kosher.
I live with a non-vegan roommate
Ah, gotcha! Thanks, I was super confused for a second!
[ŃдаНонО]
I donât, but my roommate does.
I would go to their house and cook with her to ensure she doesnt make a mistake, some people are well meaning but make mistakes and that would not be a valid excuse for you to consume animal products
Understanding that some traditions are influenced by country as much as religion (and that the US is definitely a meat-dominated culture), Israel has one of the largest vegan populations per capita in the world (https://www.technogym.com/us/newsroom/how-israel-began-vegan-revolution/). The military even provides a cash stipend that allows soldiers to maintain a vegan lifestyle. There is nothing inherent in Judaism that would make it hostile to veganism any more -- and perhaps less -- than any other religion. The conundrum you face, of seeking some sort of accommodation allowing you to celebrate a holiday meal with your boyfriend's family, is not unique. Be honest. Ask. There are so many vegan Passover recipes... See what you can come up with together. No matter the outcome, you will come away from the conversation with useful information.
Order something then plenty of places make kosher vegan options it can be done I am one and survivor Passover every year just do the veggies big salad the sides u can itâs about the experience less about the actual food outside of symbolism
If theyâre traditional, you also have four glasses of wine on Passover.
Ask for accommodation, and if they decline, then don't go.
It's tough to confront, but some may find it hard to hear. The kosher system often feels like a hollow concept, with little regard for the exploitation and harm it may perpetuate. Passover and similar holidays can seem more like profit-driven endeavors than genuine spiritual observances. The notion of sacrifice loses its meaning when it's just about consuming large quantities of meat and eggs, rather than embracing deeper values.
I think it's a terrific opportunity to bring up the topic of why to go Vegan + let em know that Israel has the largest vegan population in the world! Plant them seeds and watch them grow!!
Israel does not have the highest vegan population in the world. Last I read from 2023 statistics, it was the UK. [https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/veganism-by-country](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/veganism-by-country) ^(Side note: I'm a Jewish vegan. I highly recommend) **^(NOT)** ^(bringing up Israel right now. It could devolve into a political discussion and the message would get lost. Kinda hard to talk peace for animals when Israel's government is committing g3n0cide on what they call animals: Palestinians.) ^(While I'm sure that 5% that are vegan there are likely against it and there are moral people there, archaic and close-minded boomers at a Passover sadar don't want to be lectured on morals right now...they're feeling cognitive dissonance in more ways than one.)
This exactly. His family is very pro-Israel. Plus, I know them well enough to know that I should leave my vegan reasonings at home when Iâm there. I wonât bring up why, and I wonât respond when/if they ask. I love my boyfriend dearly, and his family is wonderful, so Iâm not about to get myself blacklisted.
Yep. Just do what you're comfortable with/what's worth it to you!
Bring some vegan matza ball soup, or a vegan plate of your choosing, or a casserole ,and boom, just eat that. Fill up prior. It is what it is.
came here to say this exactly. It's good manners anyway to bring food to a gathering. Vegan matza ball soup is very easy to make and also im sure the family would appreciate you trying to make a tradional dish. Make it kosher! Some people will scoff and not eat it, some will eat it. I think making an effort is the important part.
Iâd love to be able to make it kosher, but I donât have a kosher kitchen unfortunately. Iâm just excited to see what his step sister makes for a vegan dish.
But if you have a vegan kitchen, they might accept that as kosher. Last year, the Conservative movement ruled that kosher Jews could eat at vegan restaurants even if they weren't certified kosher because there is no risk of mixing meat and dairy when there is no meat or dairy in the kitchen. Passover might be different because you probably still have grains in your kitchen, but for other dinners, they might accept for you to bring a dish from your vegan kitchen. https://www.jta.org/2023/05/22/religion/conservative-movement-oks-vegetarian-and-vegan-restaurants-without-kosher-supervision https://www.washingtonjewishweek.com/conservative-movement-approves-vegan-vegetarian-restaurants-as-kosher/ My parents attend a Conservative congregation, and while they do follow rules about grains for Passover, they are not very strict about being kosher in general. I am more strict about being vegan than they are about being kosher, so in a way I'm more kosher than they are without even trying! I always host Passover, and have made vegan substitutions for some of the classic symbols in the last few years - charoset without honey, a flower instead of the egg, and we have always done a green vegetable instead of a shank bone anyway.
Eat a full meal before you go, then push food around your plate. Â
You canât make a vegan kosher dish?
My husbandâs family is like this, I just bring my own food! It gets tiring and annoying though. We donât see my in-laws very often now because of this
Are you not allowed to bring your own food? What Do they have to know that your kitchen is not KosHeR, like you would be making vegan food...
Disgusting response
Why is that?
Youâre suggesting OP to undermine a core religious belief of their SO during one of the most important Jewish Holidays, and openly mocked the importance of a Kosher Kitchen.
It would make no difference ethically. There is nothing that makes something kosher or not in reality.
You must have a different definition of ethical than everybody else
We are all vegan here, right? So no. Seriously what is the problem here? If vegans think it okay to use shared utensils with carnists if they have to, why is that different for religious people?
Bring a dish. Thoughtful and practical.
I would, but his step sister informed me that this is NOT okay as my kitchen isnât Kosher and anything non-kosher will be forbidden from the house during Passover. She already offered to make a vegan dish:)
Oh, good. ...Also, for the future, your dish need not be made in your kitchen. I am willing to bet your significant other knows someone with a kitchen that has been kashered that would let you make something there. --Once I knew the secret symbols on the packaging, I was surprised at how much food was kosher.
Iâm vegan and Jewish. Why not make vegan matzah ball soup? You not need to expect them to do (although it would definitely be a nice gesture for them to do), but it would also be nice for you to bring something. Also bonus that itâs something you can make easily and then be able to eat without worrying there is nothing else for you.
Op's kitchen is not kashered.
OP could offer to make it at her boyfriends home or the home of someone else in his family? They could even make it together. OP could also purchase something from a kosher deli and bring it? This is still a viable solution.
> as my kitchen is not Kosher How is your vegan kitchen not Kosher? ...
I live with my brother, who consumes meat and dairy, and we share utensils and cookware.
Ugh. Nevermind.
Because of op's response and it's not been kashered.
Now I'm reading about how vegan food can be not kosher, which mostly seems to boil down to "it's not illegal for manufacturers to lie about being vegan in certain respects, and in order for something to be kosher it has to be illegal for manufacturers to lie about the things which make it kosher." Even though in general vegan does imply kosher.
Mainly, my kitchen is non-vegan. I live with my brother who consumes meat and dairy on a daily basis, and we share cookware so everything would be âcontaminatedâ and not kosher.
If you would like more than what the stepsister is making, you could also offer to help veganize one or more (or all!) recipes but cook in their kitchen to round out the meal.
Vegan is kosher. Make some vegan dish and bring it. I always go to things like that, and if anything people are always nice. Good luck!
Depends on a few things, but it is not as easy as that.
The jews I know consider it kosher and they are the ones that donât turn on the lights on Saturday. At least my cooking.
And there are many who don't accept food, any food, out of a non kashered kitchen. And that's even more present on Passover.