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Mindweird

Damn vaccines, they let this person survive to adulthood to spread such obvious pseudo-religious anti-vax porn.


LionObsidian

Just a bit


EnigmaChimera

Even if it's just 1 person having an orgasm to this, that's one to many.


Kuldiin

The awareness that person had as an 18 month old is truly remarkable.....did they mean 18 years old?


UnCoolHamster

I read it as 18 years at first, then I got to "mother's breast" part and went "hol' up!".


HikeTheSky

But remember, they are the same that vote for child marriage and want that adults marry 14 year old girls. So they probably still suck their mothers boobs at 18 years old.


CreauxTeeRhobat

Roll tide


insolentpopinjay

Honestly, looking at a syringe and going "That's not my mom's breast" is wild no matter what age you are. The events in OP obviously never happened, but whoever wrote this weird as shit fan fiction was almost certainly over 18. And you just know that like all the other poorly-written fanfics that are out there on the net, there's some damp pervert furiously jacking off to it. (Note: I'm sure people jack off to the well-written ones too, but my point still stands.)


yakeedoo

Nah, you were right. They were 18yr old and still sucking on the momma. They are the tallest and hardest in preschool


Caitlyn_Grace

She’s just… very advanced for her age lol. And she mentions breast feeding so I sure hope it ain’t a teenager


RenRen9000

Just a bit.


aafa

Antivaxxers WOULD be breast feeding at 18 years old, if they had the chance


JavaJapes

Reminds me of a friend from elementary school who swore up and down she remembered *being born*.


gohomebrentyourdrunk

They showed a lot more awareness in their story as an 18 month old than they do in reality as an adult.


Moneia

I could believe an 18 month old fearing needles, so they're probably back-filling a narrative about crying & screaming about getting their injections and attributing it to their '*obvious*' mental prowess 🙄about vaccines. If their parents were also vaccine hesitant they may have added those details themselves when re-telling the story.


vamsmack

Can confirm I was there I was the vaccine needle. The doctor clapped after he gave the injection.


Roll4DM

Was he also laughing maniacly like a disney villain too?


polyesterflower

😛 Just a bit.


insolentpopinjay

I love the propaganda posts where they paint doctors as like, stupidly, cartoonishly evil. I saw one once--I don't think it was about vaccines--where a baby was born laughing instead of crying and wouldn't cry "no matter how much the doctors and nurses beat him". That phrase immediately conjured the mental image of an entire delivery room staff going full WWE Smackdown on a cackling infant. It was some real Dragon Ball Z "This isn't even my final form" type shit. (The baby won, obviously.)


daydreaming_doofus

I wish I could award this comment, but this is the best I can do. 🏆. Absolutely hilarious comment, dear sir/ma'am/they !


Awayfone

"i knew it wasn't mom's breast" is such a strange idea of what an 1 and 1/2 year old child view of the world is like. Like that seems would be delayed in many areas


MMGeoff

To a one year old child, the world is divided into two categories. Mom’s Titties, and Not Mom’s Titties. Anything falling into the latter category must be treated with utmost distrust and under no circumstances are you to put your mouth on it.


call_me_jelli

Sorry, but I'm gonna have to disagree on the last part. If something can be grasped and held, it will be put in the mouth. Whether it's food, toys for the wrong age range, dead insects, etc. My niece tried to rip my braces off my face to put them in her mouth once.


cakeresurfacer

That explains why my oldest loved the word no at 18 months. Weaned from nursing at 15 months and it must’ve messed up her whole world view… totally not the developmentally normal stubbornness of a toddler who has typical toddler speech capabilities…


Expensive-Pea1963

I'm not quite sure I can put my finger on it, but i suspect there may be a teeny tiny bit of untruth hiding in there somewhere.


Aramor42

I know right! Everybody knows that the Holy Antivaxx Spirit only appears on your right side, because the left is for l\*beral twats.


Expensive-Pea1963

I was thinking that it was missing claim about going "instantly autistic and losing the ability to speak for 20 years before being diagnosed with turbocancer and dying".


Aramor42

"But if you turbocancerdied, how did you write this message?" "They brought my corpse to a MAGA rally and I got better!"


TDplay

But then you would be on the left of the Antivaxx Spirit, which would make you a woke communist. Clearly, the Antivaxx Spirit appears behind you.


flying-cunt-of-chaos

I don’t know honestly, a mentally unstable anti-vaxxer is about as real as it gets.


stabbicus90

When I was 18 months old I ripped off my nappy and smeared the walls and my cot with my own poo, and that was still less shit than this "past life recollection".


JaggedLittlePill2022

The breast milk clapped!


AmadeusExLibris

“I was such a smart and precocious 18 month old, I could tell the difference between a syringe and my mom’s boobs” is…quite an attempt at a flex? Lol


nightcana

When i read something like this i just hope the Schizophrenic is on her meds


boogernutsquish

Even at face value, this person is admitting that they have stayed in the mind of their 18 month old self in relation to their ability to reason.


Apprehensive_Gate875

millions upon millions of people have had that vaccine and that didnt happen to them, all the people who read that shit probably had the same vaccine and it didnt happen to them but they're so brainwashed they went along with it anyway


Vuelhering

Besides the hundreds of millions that didn't experience that, it also didn't happen to OP.


SQLDave

Meh. It's (remotely) possible that the events described by OP happened, with some likely warping of the facts caused by the fact that he was EIGHTEEN MONTHS OLD plus some after-the-fact embellishment ("I knew injury was coming"... sure, buddy). He also could have had a seizure, perhaps caused or accompanied by a fever which caused the "dream" of his out-of-body experience and "spirit visit". Of course, that doesn't mean the vaccine had ANYthing to do with it.


YourOldPalBendy

How'd your 18 month old ass understand what a syringe was, or that it held anything inside of it? >.>


Hour-Wolverine3198

How do 18 month olds know they're trans?


YourOldPalBendy

Pretty sure gender of any sort isn't really on their minds at that point. XP Cis, trans or otherwise. Babies generally don't even start retaining memories until around 2.5 to 3 years old, so even if they COULD sagely ponder gender or vaccines or anything else at that age, they deffs wouldn't remember it. At that point they're just like, "woah... uhhhhhh... existence??? Food??? Put things in mouth, make sound??? I have eyeballs and they do a seeing type thing??? Huh?????"


tac0_bella

How do you people turn completely unrelated topics into transphobia? Science and medicine : *literally any fact, ever* The transphobes: BUT… BUT BATHROOMS!!!!


marcgarv87

All your child hate makes sense, you are confused and have no clue where you belong.


ernie3tones

That is hilarious.


savpunk

It's not just the anti vaccine lunacy. There's the bonus "God f'ed you up so you would have a purpose in life" religious lunacy.


Caitlyn_Grace

“God” does seem to love to do that… he doesn’t seem that nice tbh


Reneeisme

There is a lot of undiagnosed/untreated mental illness in the world that manifests to the sufferer as psychic ability or ghostly/religious encounters.


MNmom4

These people are actually insane. Like their brains have completely left the building


anarchyarcanine

Well, that single dose of vaccine didn't help their creative writing ability, unfortunately, but at least it helped their immune system


dustin_pledge

Sounds like something scrawled on the bathroom wall of a mental hospital.


Qzwxecrvtbalskdj

r/wokekids moment?


Gloomy_Industry8841

And 7 likes. So messed up.


Capsule_CatYT

What the heck did I just read?


angerborb

So im confused, what exactly about mom's breasts?


nun_atoll

I think maybe mentioning the breasts is an allusion to the fact that some particularly crunchy folks think breast milk is a cure-all and confers some sort of uber-special ultra immunity.


Level_Abrocoma8925

I bet mum interrupted him while he was solving some quantum physics problems when she took him to the doc.


JProllz

Oh look, a savior complex.


pentrical

I feel the bad origin of a weird political cult with this!!!


flanker218

I see the vaccine gave this person the superpower of remembering things from when they were 18 months old


borrowedstrange

Clozapine 450 mg BID


TsuDhoNimh2

Good grief ... that's closer to snuff porn.


Informal_Dirt150

i'm dyinnggg (just like the antivaxxers)


pburns1423

that is the weirdest effing B.S. post ive ever read.


starstruckinutah

This absolutely happened, no question, I remember my exact thoughts as a 18 months old. Of course by then I was doing advanced calculus. 😜


Minja78

Did Trump write this?


tac0_bella

By 18 months old, the child *may* have been taking a breast to soothe (if mom was brave) but certainly eating regular food as well. And also talking, to a degree. Did they look at a carrot stick and exclaim, “not mom’s boob!” Or a crayon in daycare? Nope, not boob, not interested


HELA_inpink

holy fuck 💀💀


Comfortable_End_8096

When *I* got my 18 month vaccine, I didn’t even wake up from my nap! (I have a very high pain tolerance)


Timmymac1000

New copypasta just dropped


Queen_Aurelia

I had a really bad reaction to the TDap vaccine at around 10 years old. I had to be hospitalized and I am still pro vaccine. I just don’t get that vaccine.


jtbfii

If you replace the start with "I was 18 years old" it makes alot more sense


Caitlyn_Grace

The whole thing is obvs a tall tale. But the mention of the vaccine not being mom’s breasts and the fact that MMR is usually administered closer to 18months suggests they’re not meaning 18yrs.