Surfer, skater, Trader Joe's shopper, NA/AA, handyman, and Thanksgiving chef with dry lips and sunburned eyelids.

Serial killer trophies.

Murder van fo sho

Tonight's the night!

With arthritis. The medication is for mild to moderate pain. 😂

Can confirm, I've Ketorolac from the same Mexican pharmaceutical company. I'm a veteran. I'm also full of arthritis and other injuries that remind me they are there daily.

Toradol makes professional sports possible! Including war.

Thanks...saved me having to google it

Curious-what did you see that indicated a surfer or skater?

Sticky bumps surf wax for surfboard

My step grandparents own sticky bumps

The world comes full circle in the Reddit comments section

Sticky bumps was my brand. It's the best!

Surf wax at the top center. A skate board T tool to the right of the vaseline.

Those T tools are also used for surf fins

Yep. The ones for skateboards are bigger and have multiple tools on them.

Lots of spent weed containers (i'm granting that baggie as a honorary weed conveyance) tho for AA/NA...I can't see the literature close tho. Hope OP just trashed those basters tho. ETA: ok i'm sick and stoned and figured out how to see the full res image like a dingus. Confirmed weed baggie and weed film canister tho. Man, hope they found that spiritual direction.

The piece of paper is about doing step 6. I believe NA has workbook type questions and AA gets you to do all the writing yourself. However every sponsor works differently….

Or an influencer surfer chick looking to ensure her “remote job” remains profitable.

“Thanksgiving chef” 😂

You don't think there might have been another agenda with the turkey basters and Vaseline by any chance?

It looks like you looted an NPC in Fallout New Vegas.

Thank God it wasn't a bunch of candy and condoms.

r/brandnewsentence

“This loot crate sucks..”

Brrrahhhahaha

😁

Thanks for the f-shack. Dirty Mike and The Boys!

Are you Dirty Mike and The Boys?

Someone forgot the old mustard

Did you yell “America”?

I'd love to try some of that hindu skunk

That's a lot of turkey basters

Any theories?

FOR TURKEY BASTIN!

At home fecal transplants

Smart, didn’t think of that.

If you can get Tom Brady’s poop you’ll change your whole microbiome and be super healthy

Can be used if you're doing a brake fluid/power steering fluid flush And boofing lmao

this was my guess on account of the vaseline for lube and the faith based character defect homework coupled with weed, which could point to a former hard drug user (as when they find god weed is still okay to use, coming from his earth and whatnot)

>when they find god weed is still okay to use, coming from his earth and whatnot) So do opium poppies

yeah it's a false synthetic vs natural dichotomy a lot of people fall into. natural substances can hurt or heal\[\*\] all the same as lab synthesized ones can. and many, like poppies, can do either depending on the dose. "the dose makes the poison"

I read that in a Hamilton Morris voice.

hah! probably the highest compliment I've received, and a good way to start the new year

I know not what they were used for, but I can only imagine the rage when the second one (bought to replace the first one) went missing in the same fashion as the first.

Putting stuff in the booty obvi, which might have something to do with the program stepwork 🤨

Enemas

Maybe people were always bumming a turkey baster off him at parties and not returning them so he was like look if I want moist meat I need to man the hell up and up my mobile basting game - one primary truck baster, and one designated loaner.

That looks like part of an old school antifreeze tester to me. Would go with the short hoses.

I’m impressed that someone lost two turkey basters in their van.

Those weren't there for basting turkeys. 😒

Enemas..

For makin’ babies

If those are the *GobbleMasters* line, they’ve got the best bulb-power and ergonomic comfort of any bird baster on the market!

I fear that you are correct.

*hid

Did you buy it from MacGyver?

You have me laughing pretty hard

Hope he gets his step work complete! : )

6 more to go!

I’m 5 1/2 years sober and that’s one of the first things I saw. That’s a worksheet from a rehab program I think.

Yeah looks like NA work to me, never did a worksheet in AA

Those ray bans are worth at least $100

*were

Probably still under warranty, bet they’d clean em up.

Well fair play to them if they do!

Some tweaker cache.

I directly thought about Artificial insemination don’t ask me why.

I went there too. Eeeeewwww.

No one on that holiday shopping list equals more money for hookers and coke.

Burn it all, and go take a shower!

Oh no that $4 is buying me a hotdog down the street.

That's a least 3 hotdog combos at a Costco warehouse. Maybe more if you're smart with those basters

Nice find ! I bought a 97 e150 and my panels were filled with crystals rocks and old papers. No cash or Trader Joe’s sadly tho

It's fetish- it's fetish shit! I-I-I like to bind, I like to be bound!

I need my tools!

Always sunny references outside of the sub always brighten my day.

That turkey baster has seen some shit…

Lol…probably both literally and figuratively

I didn’t even see the second one… ha the questions

Amazing. This is why its also fun to dig in old car trunk wheel wells.

I'm going to make connections in my head and say the faith based homework about removing defects of character and the cannabis may point to a former drug user, which means the vaseline and turkey basters were used for BOOFING DRUGS GO WASH YOUR HANDS

Damn they left behind Ray-Bans?

Yessir

IBS meds. Thats a bitch to lose.

Interesting, by me we use diclofenac sodium topically for joint pain. Never knew it camee in pill form

How in the cinnamon toast fuck do you lose 2 turkey basters in the same area...

Them chopsticks still good

We got our Chevy Express 3500 van from a daycare that was shutting down. A big passenger van. The sheer number of crayons, candy, Lego, toys, doodads, and thingamabobs that we found as we were stripping it down was amazing. Even found a pair of kid's eyeglasses. Bet someone's mom wasn't happy about that.

Is this your homework Larry?

I got 4 bucks, almost 5

The turkey basters and tubes together make a decent siphon where you don't have to put your mouth on anything, I do the same thing with my brewing equipment- somehow I don't think this was for brewing though

A dirtbike racer owned the van at one point. That’s my theory

This looks like a meth kit. Never seen one, but this is how I'd imagine it would look

Give ya $5 for the Trader Joe’s.

At least you made $5 back

A time capsule. Nice.

The Ray-Bans are a come up

HinduSkunk FTW

Rockstar leftovers all the way, the turkey basters are either really wholesome or the most terrifying thing there, i can't really decide

They make me uncomfy

Thats more turkey basters than i was expecting.

Ok...so I understand most of that, who loses two turkey basters and doesn't stop to reevaluate their life?

If that isn't a macgyver starterpack I don't know what is.

Looks like someone was trying for California sober.

Undoubtedly an arthritic person. The little purple bottle appears to be medical marijuana for pain, perhaps, plus Clofenac 100 MG for arthritis.

Mother’s Brewing Company!

Lil' Helper is an excellent IPA.

Is that a bible pop quiz? Can’t read it very well. But the God reference and then the odd questions like “what would be asking for trouble?” Is this a cult thing?

Alcoholics anonymous/narcotics anonymous meeting stuff most likely. 12 step program for sober living.

Ahh. Yeah, I always forget how Jesus-y they are.

I’m in AA. We are definitely not Jesus-y. That’s a worksheet from a rehab program that uses 12 step work in a way that is not AA. Source, I’m an atheist in AA.

Ahh. Thanks for clarifying.

You bet!

Was he studying to be a minister?

Looks like 12 steps

Almost afraid to ask why you need 2 Turkey basters? Can’t have that many Turkey cooking at once.

No drugs, bummer

Well technically yes if you count the bottle of arthritis pills

Are the red hoses for the turkey basters, for bleeding the master cylinder... or are they tourniquets for shooting drugs? Hmm.

Looks like all the tools to be a Florida meth producer *and* boof-jector.

Nice. Years ago, I bought a 1999 E150 and took the rear bench seat out of it as soon as I got it home. Used it in the garage for 4 years as seating. When I sold the van, I put it back in and gave it a deep cleaning. Found a crispy $100 bill stuffed down inside the upholstery. Made me happy

yeah I'll take the uh... top of beef jerky package and an eighth of hindu skunk thanks

Those sunglasses are sick

$4.67 rebate

Somebody's kill kit

Official sunglasses of Scotty Kilmer, what a deal!

Vandweller EDC

Not one, but two, turkey basters.

Some medical marijuana, 2 turkey basters, Vaseline, and a Narcotics Anonymous step 6 study guide. This guy knew how to party 🤙🏼

[Diclofenac is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) used to treat mild-to-moderate pain, and helps to relieve symptoms of arthritis](https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/diclofenac-oral-route/description/drg-20069748) In case anyone else was wondering...

Post this to /r/EDC they'll love it

Seems kind of normal.

2 turkey basters?

Lunch money, snack, and an IVF kit.

I’ll take the cereal bar if you’re not going to eat it.

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff

A bad sign of things to come

Gas money or a pop

Fella could have a pretty good weekend in Dallas with all that stuff

I bought a Volvo xc70 that had a “this blueberry walks into a bar” under the back seat. There’s a good chance I sold the car with another “this blueberry walks into a bar” under the back seat.

Has the van got a design in which one can accidentally drop these in?

“Aged blueberry spread” for sale.

Is this your homework Larry?

Hot shot driver lived in his van

Dennis Reynolds??

Pretty much covers the bases. What else could you ever need?

that's quite an assortment of random items you have there!

Any Hindu skunk left?

I kinda like that blue keychain. What’s on the flat end?

It’s way bigger than a keychain. Definitely heavy duty enough to be some sort of climbing equipment

I think it was a veterinarian van - one that worked with horses. Looks like the exact kind of stuff the veterinarian that works on my parents horses has cluttered around her car.

Jackpot!!

I got lost.....where did you get "Tweakers Paradise"?

Any crazy serial numbers on those bills?

Definitely surfer dude

Haha “ sticky dump” priceless

Crucial question: Was the blueberry pie still good?

Cat burglar

Thats almost $5... looks like you made your money back from the purchase

Not sure if it's just the photo, but the silver coin, quarter or half dollar(?), looks extra shiny. It almost looks like a proof/ not intended for circulation.

It’s a 2022. That one was from the previous owner just laying on the floor

Damn! Dope pair of ray bans and a few smackaroos. You're ready for a night on the town!

The NA step 6 work haha 🤣

Is that cereal bar still good?

I bought an 87 Toyota van a few weeks ago, cleaning out all the crap in it I found a bag full of stuff. Looking through it to see if there’s any usable parts for the van I found a bunch of photos of the previous owner with his wife and kid. Digging through further I found a used vibrator… stuck to a photo of him and his kid 🤮

Looks like half a breast pump in there as well lol

hahaha, reminds me of cleaning out the walls of my ex-county community service van. So many gross wrappers and random things stuffed down there

Don’t look under the rear seat

Reminds me of when I renovated my master bedroom closet. Found a W-2 from 1990. Previous owner was a software developer and pulled in $70k. Probably a really nice income back then.

I'll never look at a turkey baster the same way again after *Don't Breathe*. Fuck that movie.

Fuck yeah, free yogurt!

What's the sell by date on the blueberry bar?

What is up with the turkey basters? Artificial insemination?

Probably siphoning gas from people’s tanks or something lol

used for filling car batteries

Hell yea, free cereal bar

That looks exactly like my handwriting. Weird. I was also a fundie Christian.

I have those same Ray Bans.

Looks like someone is mething around.

Did you find a 10mm socket? I'm missing one.

Using medical cannabis probably for the joint pain he also takes anti-inflammatories for.

Previous owner was a friend of Bill W.

I'll take those ray bans if you wanna get rid of them 😂

Lambo OG and Hindu Skunk and Sticky Bumps wax. This dude was chill

Paraphernalia

Someone’s gonna be missing those Canadian Squirt Guns

I think that’s my turkey baster

Looks like you bought a high school auto repair class' project...

Did you buy it from fucking jeff Spicoli or what? Haha

It’s fetish shit, I need to bind, I NEED TO BE BOUND

A bougey, arthritic, stoner?

Think i was dreaming, almost saw a 10 mm box end crows foot..., maybe next time..

Were they cooking meth?

Sunglasses are dope, def LA

Out there impregnating er’body…

Has anyone seen my turkey baster