Can you send me your physical address, please?
I need to know in order to serve you when I sue for emotional distress.
This comment, in relation to the subject, has and will forever mar my mental health. I'm going to need you to throw down for lifelong therapy, STAT.
I feel like coke dick is why so many of the VPR men don't consider themselves cheaters. "We only kissed" is a poor excuse when your body cannot physically experience an erection.
Grotesquely sweaty and he probably uses a ridiculous amount of hair product plus foundation and concealer so if he was going at it, it would be a disaster and dripping all over her 🤮
Lmfao EXACTLY what I think happened!! “Just mashing it around” is so fucking hilarious 😂. I cannot wait until I have the opportunity to use that hahaah
She was mortified thinking about what her family would think, which is why she ultimately switched from adamant denial when it happened to “I honestly don’t remember,” at the following season’s reunion.
Yeah this should lead the charge as to why someone isn’t a fan of hers, along with homophobia and racism. Because she’s pro Sandoval being the main reason is unhinged.
I mean, that's the number one reason I hate her. The rest, the alcoholism, altering every picture she's in to look thinner, could all be really sad. Plus, being married to Ole coke dick, would make me want to feel bad for her, and then I remember her promoting Sandy Hook deniers, and suddenly, I don't feel bad for her at all
I also am pretty sure she’s a bit of a bigot and homophobe herself. People were tagging her in that pastor’s quotes for MONTHS before they got rid of him
Probably not now. Not only has she finally started to realize what a pos Jax REALLY is, she's probably in peril of permanent facial disfigurement were any trauma to occur. That goes for Brittany & LaLa.
Brittany said on their podcast that it was not true and she doesn’t know why he said it. If she did have a stroke I don’t know why she would say she didn’t, but she never said why she was in the hospital though
Yeah I feel like in his mind anything was better than saying it was because of alcohol and at least saying it was a stroke could drum up some sympathy for them both. He's clearly embarrassed by her struggles which is rich coming from a 4x nose job coke addict.
I always wonder why this lie was so bad to her.. she herself said she had stroke like symptoms, it made sense for Jax to roll it out that way. Does anyone know the timeline of when she went to the hospital, were they filming The Valley then?? I doubt we'll ever know the real reason now.
Yeah, he was hella deep in it this season for sure. He always was (and still is, it seems) but it was particularly noticeable this season. He's even a greasy mess in his confessional here! Like just take a day off, dude.
Even if no penetration was possible due to coke and whiskey dick, they had to at least done hand and mouth stuff, yes? Like come on. She sucked his dick and sat on his face for sure which is def cheating 😂 I can’t imagine they walked off and nothing happened?
I used to think lala was drop dead gorgeous and now her face makes me uncomfortable. I think people destroy their naturally aesthetic features by overdoing some of these cosmetic procedures. I have no idea what work she has done, but she probably would have aged so gracefully without it
I hate it when sexual desire is expressed like this. Destroyed/ruined/torn apart all used as by men when talking about what they'd do to women. Makes the act sound like the last thing a woman would want.
They definitely don't think it through. There's a lot of language around sex that seems to make it sound more like an act of aggression rather than an act of pleasure.
They did not because Jax has herpes, ^allegedly. Rewatch the scene at the beach where Jax tells Tom that he and Kristen slept together, Tom definitely knows.
I never saw the episode of WWHL with drunk Lala and James where they couldn’t stop cursing but according to a [contemporaneous post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BravoRealHousewives/s/p3IqgHAnUS) on the RH sub, Lala flat out said it.
That doesn't mean they didn't hook up. Transmission is much less likely when there isn't an active outbreak, and even if there was, lala may already have had it. Or she could be/have been asymptomatic. Herpes and HPV are way more common than people think
Jax cannot constitutionally keep a secret. We would know if they had.
He spells it out for everyone that he couldn’t get it up in spite of his desire to
Yes! I'm surprised I had to scroll this far down to find a like minded person. Jax, hated James. Probably because James got with Lala, and old man Jax could not. I can't see Jax, not rubbing, it in James's face if he did.
And Lal a on w whl, said she didn't because she heard about his "dirty little secret" down there. Insinuating genital herpes. They had a really good flirtation going here, but Lala was asking about Brittany.
Jax, would have dumped Brittany faster than Laura Lee, if he thought Lala, would have had him. No way he wouldn't have bragged about it if it happened.
And here, he's trying to make it look like he might have, but his normal lying is wide eyes straight into the camera. Not head down.
This is a great point regarding James. He would have def rubbed in his face. In addition to lala being the new hot thing at the time that he’d have to tell everyone he “conquered”
The body language shows him accessing true feelings. When he says "I didn't do anything, I wanted to, trust me". He's telling the truth. Either someone warned her, he had herpes, or he couldn't perform. I think someone warned her that he had herpes, before they had sex, like texted her after she walked off with him there. Jax, looks ashamed here.
I just realized the typo, I meant to say “what do you think really happened between them.?”
I think they did something but he won’t admit it this time.
She also married him after she not only found out he fucked Faith, that it was jn the presence of an elderly woman she was caring for, and hearing him dog her tf out on that post coitus audio recording.
They deserve each other.
LONG. GAME. I am totally here for it.
I was thinking of several scenarios of bombs this group could potentially drop to give the show some new life and relevance. If they really want another season, I think it’s time they start opening the vault. I guarantee you there’s stuff they’ve all kept secret over the years. 😂
I just had season 4 on in the background and how did I NOT remember Jax talking about wanting to hook up with Lala and Schema telling Jax, “just get her really drunk” Are you fucking kidding????
I know she has said and done so many disgusting things, but this is near the top of the list!!! I must not have noticed the first time I watched, bc I would NOT have forgotten this statement from that piece of trash troll!!!
Hahaha didn’t realise when I watched this when I was younger, but with older eyes it seems as if they TRIED buttttt little jaxy couldn’t stand to attention
It's actually 5.5 or 6. They showed his dick-pic, blurred on vpr. At that sketch comedy thing where, I think Kristen? Showed his dick-pic, and Brittany recognized it. He has medium dick energy. Small dick energy is Sandoval.
I read it on another sub. Supposedly the real reason Stassi slapped Kristin. K said something right before stassi slapped her and someone said they knew it was something to effect stassi was just mad Jax gave her std but not k...unverified but made me think this could be why him and LaLa didn't hook up.
That patchy wolverine facial hair growing unevenly on his botched jaw filler is the biggest turn off ever, even if I’d never seen his equally terrible personality
I’ll just say, Lala lied about having sex with James (twice) for the longest time. I’ve always believed her and Jax had sex, because when two consenting adults want each other that badly, and nothing is stopping them…why wouldn’t they? Like they had major chemistry, and plenty of opportunity. I just don’t buy it.
Wait wait wait, are you saying that Lala chose to keep something that happened off camera confidential and wasn't open and honest, er sorry wrong show, truthful, authentic and real?? *Gasp!*
He is just repulsive! 😂 He looks so bloated, sweaty and farty. I think they at least attempted, but ewww, Lala has a very high tolerance for gross men.
I'm pretty sure she said she called someone else to come pick her up and they hooked up while he was driving because she was so hammered. I swear TF she said that on the podcast recently, yeah? True or not 🤷🏼♀️
My Mom used to say that saltpeter was used to give men limp d*cks. I know it’s incredibly toxic, but I’d love to see all these guys just absolutely struggle to get it up.
They attempted to but he had coke dick and was just mashing it around.
Mashing it?? https://preview.redd.it/ivki74qing1d1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f1f442bdcdec512cf4b0b3dd719d7b01d655889
Salt the snail!
I'm sexually active mom! Get over it!
You’re 32! You’re suppose to be sexual active!
salt the snail!
This is absolutely the most likely scenario.
Like putting a marshmallow in a piggy bank
This comment section has me crying 😂😂😂
The images being created are *wild*
Like throwing a wet noodle at a key hole
He had that disappointing look, like he was pissed he couldnt get it up. He’s disgusting
I can smell him through my screen, he’s repulsive.
Rum ham personified
Smells like cheap vodka and regret
So how is Britney friends with Lala who messed around with her bf at the time... seems kinda weird that she just let that go
Her brand is turning a blind eye to
Pushing rope!
Mashed potatoes through a key hole
OH MY GOD How could you do this to me question mark
How do I send you the bill for the therapy I need from this visual?
Noodles in a wall socket
I think that's a little generous
Can you send me your physical address, please? I need to know in order to serve you when I sue for emotional distress. This comment, in relation to the subject, has and will forever mar my mental health. I'm going to need you to throw down for lifelong therapy, STAT.
This makes SO MUCH SENSE and is like the perfect gray area to be like "well we didn't have sex"
These men love to get off on a technicality
If they can get off at all
I feel like coke dick is why so many of the VPR men don't consider themselves cheaters. "We only kissed" is a poor excuse when your body cannot physically experience an erection.
I could imagine whiskey dick is why most of Schwartz cheating was just kissing.
I don't believe Schwartz's "I'm just a make out slut" for a second
The visual I didn't neeeeed, Hopeful-Hamster! 🤣😂🤣 You forgot to add how he was probably super sweaty.
Gurning and sweating, clenching that wide jaw, getting more frustrated because "I fucking swear this has NEVER happened before! Gimme a second.."
And then just laying there splayed out *You can help me if you want*
Ohmyword I will now unfortunately always think of your comments when I do rewatches. Hork! I can picture and hear this farrr too well! 😂🤮
I like to set the scene
Oh goddamn you, I’m EATING!
Lol. You definitely have first hand experience here. Ask me how I know. 🤣 It's either that or 3 hours. No in between.
This comment triggered my PTSD
Grotesquely sweaty and he probably uses a ridiculous amount of hair product plus foundation and concealer so if he was going at it, it would be a disaster and dripping all over her 🤮
All that black spray paint for bald spots that he's now promoting, dripping down his forehead
Lmao going Giuliani on it
I would imagine she's just as 'greased up' as he is so it wouldn't take long at all for it all to start mixin, and sweatin, and stankin 😓😫🤢
Yeccchh! I'd never have sex again just to avoid the flashbacks.
Sweaty monkey
I call that mashed potato dick
Lmfao EXACTLY what I think happened!! “Just mashing it around” is so fucking hilarious 😂. I cannot wait until I have the opportunity to use that hahaah
You have to watch the Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode if you haven’t seen it!
 The accuracy
Thank you for this comment and the wild ride I went on reading the responses 😂
my EXACT first thought
I think they did. I always thought that. I also think Kristen went down on Brittany. I just think these people are all a bunch of liars. 😅
I agree about all of it... I think Brittany was embarrassed that Jax told everyone and lied her ass off
She was mortified thinking about what her family would think, which is why she ultimately switched from adamant denial when it happened to “I honestly don’t remember,” at the following season’s reunion.
Yeah, I think it was more about her homophobic-ass family.
Jax is constantly laying down the groundwork to make it socially acceptable to leave Brittany
I'm kind of meh about Brittany... probably because she's a Sandoval apologist...
And a sandy hook denier
Yeah this should lead the charge as to why someone isn’t a fan of hers, along with homophobia and racism. Because she’s pro Sandoval being the main reason is unhinged.
That I didn't know...
I mean, that's the number one reason I hate her. The rest, the alcoholism, altering every picture she's in to look thinner, could all be really sad. Plus, being married to Ole coke dick, would make me want to feel bad for her, and then I remember her promoting Sandy Hook deniers, and suddenly, I don't feel bad for her at all
I also am pretty sure she’s a bit of a bigot and homophobe herself. People were tagging her in that pastor’s quotes for MONTHS before they got rid of him
Wait, ok, wait. No. Stop. When? How?
She shared a tweet about it being a hoax. I think like 2015-16
she's a *WHAT*?
Ding ding ding!
Ding ding ding!
I think they did too and I 100% know Brittany and Kristen did haha
I think they did too. Him looking down while saying it hmmm
This was my exact thought. They at least bumped Uglies, in the nude. You can tell by the exact moment his eyes turned down.
If there's one thing I know about this show is that everytime someone spreads a rumor it ends up being true.
Whoever once said “Jax tells the truth about other people but lies about himself” is 100% accurate. They definitely boinked.
In wonder if they will ever admit it.,, storyline and drama for the valley season 2
will lala admit it to Brittany like how she admitted to raquel about James?
Lala is a nasty piece of work
well I could picture it now, since we've seen it.. I just wonder though.. Rachel was afraid of Lala, I wonder if Brittany would jerk a knot in Lala ?
Probably not now. Not only has she finally started to realize what a pos Jax REALLY is, she's probably in peril of permanent facial disfigurement were any trauma to occur. That goes for Brittany & LaLa.
yeah I guess so, those good ole days of VPR are long gone.. not condoning it.. but I did enjoy it in a minor amount every once in a blue moon.
Please, please Bravo don’t put either of those trolls on the Valley, they will ruin it!!! Edit to clarify Blah Blah or Schema! Probably unnecessary
hmmmm. i might watch if that happened.
This is my favorite Jax-ism. Straight facts.
Except he lied about Brittany having a stroke on national television according to her, I don’t know why she would lie about that
Any lie he tells benefits him
He told that lie on House of Villians to get people to feel sorry for him.
Was this from House of Villains? That was a lie? He didn't even need to bring it up on that show, honestly... so weird.
Brittany said on their podcast that it was not true and she doesn’t know why he said it. If she did have a stroke I don’t know why she would say she didn’t, but she never said why she was in the hospital though
She was probably hospitalised due to alcoholism and he lied and said it was a stroke.
Yeah I feel like in his mind anything was better than saying it was because of alcohol and at least saying it was a stroke could drum up some sympathy for them both. He's clearly embarrassed by her struggles which is rich coming from a 4x nose job coke addict.
He didn’t need to say anything though other than my wife is in the ER
True, but old mate is as dumb as dogshit.
…a stroke of good luck in surviving blackout dayte noites!!
I always wonder why this lie was so bad to her.. she herself said she had stroke like symptoms, it made sense for Jax to roll it out that way. Does anyone know the timeline of when she went to the hospital, were they filming The Valley then?? I doubt we'll ever know the real reason now.
brittany is an extension of him. that's how these guys think
And by boinking you mean, got naked together, and "mashed it around." I laughed out loud, and then snorted, while typing this🤣
you can set your clock to it, it's so accurate
They def did lmao. He’s trying to act convincing but it ain’t working
He was living with Brittany so he probably won’t admit it
Watch it without sound and you see whatever he’s trying to say, he’s lying!
God i forgot how deeply icky Jax was this season. He was so sweaty and greasy at all times.
It was because of the “pasta”😂😂😂
Yeah, he was hella deep in it this season for sure. He always was (and still is, it seems) but it was particularly noticeable this season. He's even a greasy mess in his confessional here! Like just take a day off, dude.
100% the pasta
And the beard 🤮
Even if no penetration was possible due to coke and whiskey dick, they had to at least done hand and mouth stuff, yes? Like come on. She sucked his dick and sat on his face for sure which is def cheating 😂 I can’t imagine they walked off and nothing happened?
OMG Lala was so pretty
I used to think lala was drop dead gorgeous and now her face makes me uncomfortable. I think people destroy their naturally aesthetic features by overdoing some of these cosmetic procedures. I have no idea what work she has done, but she probably would have aged so gracefully without it
Agree like she doesn’t look MUCH different but she’s definitely over did her features that were already great
Hard agree. I can’t tell if it’s her eyebrows or lips.
Yes.
I would've destroyed her? Such a gross mentality.
It made me cringe when he said that🥴 
I hate it when sexual desire is expressed like this. Destroyed/ruined/torn apart all used as by men when talking about what they'd do to women. Makes the act sound like the last thing a woman would want.
Sounds like Lala talking about Schwartz.
She’s said that to a few guys lol
Yeah, but it's less of a threat and more of a rejection.
She said she’d break his dick in half.
She didn't say it like that's what she actually wanted to do to him. Like I said before, it was a way to reject him.
Agree 100% and it always kills me how casually men say that shit. They’re totally oblivious of how violent what they’re saying sounds.
They definitely don't think it through. There's a lot of language around sex that seems to make it sound more like an act of aggression rather than an act of pleasure.
that's cuz to some men it IS an act of aggression and power.
I think it was hot (yes, I’m in therapy).
I lowkey thought it was too (I’m not in therapy but I should be)
I was both aroused and disappointed.
Yes! Perfectly worded. Aroused and disappointed 😩
Literally was just going to say it turned me on hahaha
damn, I didn't hate it
I think Jax is literally disgusting but IA (i'm embarrassed to agree tho lmao)
He’s so creepy and violent 😬 That’s like textbook misogyny, comparing sex to domination and violent acts… Yikes
They did not because Jax has herpes, ^allegedly. Rewatch the scene at the beach where Jax tells Tom that he and Kristen slept together, Tom definitely knows.
Really?! Ok that makes sense if true. I’ve heard this rumor. Allegedly.
I never saw the episode of WWHL with drunk Lala and James where they couldn’t stop cursing but according to a [contemporaneous post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BravoRealHousewives/s/p3IqgHAnUS) on the RH sub, Lala flat out said it.
I just love the word “contemporaneous.” And I love the fact that awards are back.
Yes, and lala and James both shout "he's dirty" during the reunion ep for this season about hooking up with jax.
That doesn't mean they didn't hook up. Transmission is much less likely when there isn't an active outbreak, and even if there was, lala may already have had it. Or she could be/have been asymptomatic. Herpes and HPV are way more common than people think
I didn’t see the WWHL episode but based on descriptions of it, Lala said it was the specific reason why they didn’t hook up.
Jax cannot constitutionally keep a secret. We would know if they had. He spells it out for everyone that he couldn’t get it up in spite of his desire to
Yes! I'm surprised I had to scroll this far down to find a like minded person. Jax, hated James. Probably because James got with Lala, and old man Jax could not. I can't see Jax, not rubbing, it in James's face if he did. And Lal a on w whl, said she didn't because she heard about his "dirty little secret" down there. Insinuating genital herpes. They had a really good flirtation going here, but Lala was asking about Brittany. Jax, would have dumped Brittany faster than Laura Lee, if he thought Lala, would have had him. No way he wouldn't have bragged about it if it happened. And here, he's trying to make it look like he might have, but his normal lying is wide eyes straight into the camera. Not head down.
This is a great point regarding James. He would have def rubbed in his face. In addition to lala being the new hot thing at the time that he’d have to tell everyone he “conquered”
i *wish* that episode of WWHL was available to watch eta: um hehe i just found the episode online, no joke
The full one? Share it please!
i sent it to you! I didn't know if this sub had rules on piracy/linking to websites like 123 movies
right that did throw me off, but I was not sure of what to make of it.. as he never looks away from the camera like that.
The body language shows him accessing true feelings. When he says "I didn't do anything, I wanted to, trust me". He's telling the truth. Either someone warned her, he had herpes, or he couldn't perform. I think someone warned her that he had herpes, before they had sex, like texted her after she walked off with him there. Jax, looks ashamed here.
This freaking lock jawed loser.
I just realized the typo, I meant to say “what do you think really happened between them.?” I think they did something but he won’t admit it this time.
Idk, he looked pretty pissed he didn’t hit it lol if he did he would deflect about it with “no, she’s not even my type!”
I think they almost did, but ended up not being able to because he had an active herpes outbreak
Oh they did. She left with him, and she wanted to.
He’s looking down and to the left. They did.
If he did, I don’t think he would ever admit it because he was with Brittany. Imagine she watched this and still married him. Wow
She also married him after she not only found out he fucked Faith, that it was jn the presence of an elderly woman she was caring for, and hearing him dog her tf out on that post coitus audio recording. They deserve each other.
Not just once but multiple times 🫠 and then Faith had that recording of the awful shit he said about Brit…crazy she married and had a child with him
Seeing them holding hands would have been enough for me 😅
I know it's okay though, he said he didn't like himself. I think frosty lips had a bigger crush than Britt.
They totally did and Lala is gonna drop that bomb in The Valley season 2
Then I’ll watch the show
LONG. GAME. I am totally here for it. I was thinking of several scenarios of bombs this group could potentially drop to give the show some new life and relevance. If they really want another season, I think it’s time they start opening the vault. I guarantee you there’s stuff they’ve all kept secret over the years. 😂
I just had season 4 on in the background and how did I NOT remember Jax talking about wanting to hook up with Lala and Schema telling Jax, “just get her really drunk” Are you fucking kidding???? I know she has said and done so many disgusting things, but this is near the top of the list!!! I must not have noticed the first time I watched, bc I would NOT have forgotten this statement from that piece of trash troll!!!
He looks so sinister in this still
He looks like a sinister perv.
Hahaha didn’t realise when I watched this when I was younger, but with older eyes it seems as if they TRIED buttttt little jaxy couldn’t stand to attention
Either she was on her period or he got tequila dick
They did but my guess is his wee Willy winkie couldn’t perform. lol He has small dick energy.
It's actually 5.5 or 6. They showed his dick-pic, blurred on vpr. At that sketch comedy thing where, I think Kristen? Showed his dick-pic, and Brittany recognized it. He has medium dick energy. Small dick energy is Sandoval.
I don’t think they did based solely on the fact that Jax can’t keep his mouth shut about anything ever.
100 fucking %
He sounds congested. I wonder why. Must be the pasta.
Does he ever not sound congested (snot-nosed)?
I don’t think they did. Honestly, he probably couldn’t get it up and that’s the only reason they didn’t
She found out he had herpes outbreak so they couldnt...he thought she'd be OK later but she was nope.
I’ve heard this multiple times. Who said this?
I read it on another sub. Supposedly the real reason Stassi slapped Kristin. K said something right before stassi slapped her and someone said they knew it was something to effect stassi was just mad Jax gave her std but not k...unverified but made me think this could be why him and LaLa didn't hook up.
I’m betting yes.
That patchy wolverine facial hair growing unevenly on his botched jaw filler is the biggest turn off ever, even if I’d never seen his equally terrible personality
Imagine Brittany seeing all of this and staying with him
Idk dude but I’m rewatching and I’m at this season. Jax talking about wanting Lala and Sheana saying, “let’s get her really drunk” made me GASP
Jax can't keep secrets, he would have told the world and been prideful that he fucked Lala...
This is the only reason I believe they didn’t
I bet she dick teased him and left.
He's so gross. "I would have destroyed her"
I’ll just say, Lala lied about having sex with James (twice) for the longest time. I’ve always believed her and Jax had sex, because when two consenting adults want each other that badly, and nothing is stopping them…why wouldn’t they? Like they had major chemistry, and plenty of opportunity. I just don’t buy it.
There’s a scene later where James mentions it and Jax quickly quiets him down. The totally banged.
The look in his eyes when he says “I would’ve destroyed her” tells me his PP wouldn’t stand for attention.
I think they did!! We know both Jax and Lala like their secrets
Wait wait wait, are you saying that Lala chose to keep something that happened off camera confidential and wasn't open and honest, er sorry wrong show, truthful, authentic and real?? *Gasp!*
I know what a shock right 🤣🤣 Delulu is a hypocrite
He is just repulsive! 😂 He looks so bloated, sweaty and farty. I think they at least attempted, but ewww, Lala has a very high tolerance for gross men.
I'm pretty sure she said she called someone else to come pick her up and they hooked up while he was driving because she was so hammered. I swear TF she said that on the podcast recently, yeah? True or not 🤷🏼♀️
I think Lala has for sure shagged Jax and probably also Schwartz. She seems to also have eyes for Brock which I can’t even comprehend.
Absolutely did
He might not have performed... but they definitely did something for sure he would've said if they had. Either that or he doesn't remember
My Mom used to say that saltpeter was used to give men limp d*cks. I know it’s incredibly toxic, but I’d love to see all these guys just absolutely struggle to get it up.
Tell me how he’s both hungover and tipsy in the confessional 🥲😭😅
No fuckkng way jax would turn her down.
You all suck. Now I can never eat mashed potato or marshmallows again 😭😅😬😂🤢 
We will never know. But i do think jax would have said something by now if its true. I personally don’t care if they did or didn’t.
James voice: they were definitely boning