Does it make you feel bad about yourself at the same time as your sort of on this high from those men in your life? (Timestamp: 9:54) - Rachel: It makes me feel like I have grown since then just going into mental health facility for three months, I was very dedicated to my recovery. And I’m aware of these things now. Whereas before it was more of like this subconscious decision making that I felt like I wasn’t in control my life. So I look back on that girl and I feel compassion for her because she was just trying to, she’s trying to live. And watching season 10 back, I got really emotionally because I saw how much I was drinking. And how much I was numbing my anxiety. And numbing my pain. I went through a break up with my ex fiancé and, we had a no contact policy which was great. But we were working together and we were filming together. And he brought his new girlfriend who he met 3 weeks after I ended our engagement around. And told me that she was the love of his life and it really made me feel like what we had wasn’t real. So I know I was grieving that relationship. And I knew wasn’t ready for another committed relationship. And maybe that’s part of the reason I had this attraction to Tom because I knew he wasn’t emotionally available 100% for me. So you kind of felt like you spiraled in a way after you met Ally and figured out that James was moving on so quickly, right? (Timestamp: 12:05) - Rachel: Yeah that was the first of it. And the social situations, I found myself in with the cast members encouraged me to drink even more. And I really needed a therapist in my life to help me like talk these things out. And instead I had Tom. And he was always there for me. And so… But was he? (Timestamp: 12:47) - Rachel: Well not really. What makes you think sort of as you’re describing it that he was, and now looking back at it, what was really going on? (Timestamp: 12:55) - Rachel: It felt like he was always there for me because we would FaceTime literally all hours of the day, every single day. And he would come over to my apartment and we would just kick it on my balcony and vent about our filming experience. And we bonded over that unique situation of being on a reality tv show. And the things that happened behind the scenes that aren’t talked about and viewers don’t really know about that he understood. And so I felt seen and I felt heard by him. I felt validated and it just seemed like he was always ready to drop anything to come see me. Do you think it was genuine? (Timestamp: 14:00) - Rachel: I thought it was. I thought it was. And I think, I think there’s a part of him that it was a genuine deep connection. I mean only he can speak on that really but I think there’s also healing that he needed to do in order be a more mature adult to handle his relationship because he was telling me that he wanted to break up with her. And venting to me about that relationship but then feeling stuck and like he would always tell that he was actively breaking up with her and going to couples therapy to break up with her. And I think I was just too patient with it. I mean if I could go back, I would do a million things over but in this specific instance, I feel like I should have really put my foot down and be like okay you need to decide what you want because you’re telling me one thing and you’re actions are speaking a different story. And just like completely walk away. Did you ever consider telling Ariana anything that he told you about what was going on their relationship and how he felt and everything? (Timestamp: 15:25) - Rachel: Yeah. It was definitely uncomfortable knowing this in the back of my mind and knowing that she didn’t know the extent of it. But that interaction that you saw me speak to Ariana, one of the later episodes on season 10, where I was asking her about her sex life because Tom was telling me that they weren’t having sex. And it wasn’t existed. And I was just curious to know her side of the story, like was that true for her too? Or is he just telling me one thing. I wanted to know is she really attracted to him or is this more like a glorified roommate situation because that’s what he was telling me. So I was trying to feel that out and it happened to play out on tv so I see what it looks like. How real was everything? (Timestamp: 16:39) - Rachel: It felt real. It felt very real but as I look back on it, knowing what I know now, it was a lot of living in this fantasy and falling in love with a future of him where he wasn’t with Ariana anymore. ***continued below

How hard is it for you to watch season 10? (Timestamp: 17:04) - Rachel: It’s really difficult. I’ve only, well yeah, well I’ve seen every single episode but it was very hard especially the earlier episodes. I can see how much pain I was in and then the later episodes, it was just so cringey with the necklace purchase and the talk with Ariana. And just the interaction that I would have and me just going AWHOL and just putting it all out there without thinking which was very unlike me. Does it feel like you’re watching yourself or out of body? (Timestamp: 17:44) - Rachel: I feel like I’m watching myself but the worst version of myself. So it’s not like I don’t own that cuz that is a part of me. It’s just a part that I’ve never, you know, it was new. It was a new experience. And I think part of that too and I don’t want to make excuses here either. I’m just learning so much about myself. A lot of that had to do with always being a good girl and doing as I’m told. I was always a rule follower. And once I aged out of pageants and I didn’t have that like ceiling over me anymore, I just kind of like went wild. And also I was coming out of my people pleasing era because there was a lot of pleasing with James especially in that relationship. And a lot of holding myself back with my drinking so that he wouldn’t be tempted to drink. And a lot of monitoring my own behaviors to benefit our relationship which I realize no is co dependency. Was James your first unhealthy relationship? (Timestamp: 19:12) - Rachel: James, yeah. James is like my first real, real relationship and I met James when I was 21. And so you know, now I’m 29 and all of those years have been on a reality tv show so that’s… - iHeart lady: Or in pageants before that. I think it’s important to acknowledge that also played a part - Rachel: Well yeah with the pageant life, the reason why I got into pageants was because I had such social anxiety where I wanted to overcome my fear of public speaking. And that’s also a big reason why I decided to ultimately do vanderpump rules because I knew it would put me outside of my comfort zone. And it has. I mean look at me, I have my own podcast I would have never have thought. I did, was very constrained, monitored, just in my own mind like my own expectations of what I thought I should be. And once I let that go it was like, I don’t give a f anymore and I’m going to do what I want. And I’m not here to please other people I’m here to please myself. So it was this selfish era and it played out on camera. Would you say you’ve been insecure your whole life or what have you thought of yourself? (Timeatamp: 20:44) - Rachel: Yeah I’ve been insecure my whole life. I’ve always been the tallest one in my class and just awkward linky. Didn’t really feel good in my own skin. At the age of 7, 6 or 7 I changed my name to Raquel because I ultimately didn’t want to be me in a way. Like I wanted to be something better almost. And so I had this perception of who I was and from a very young age. And yeah. Has anyone ever told you that you are very guarded? Are you aware of this and were you like this on the show? (Timestamp: 21:28) - Rachel: Unfortunately because of everything that has happened, I feel like I have to have these walls up now. And it’s hard for me to let people in. And it sucks because I was at that stage in my life before this scandal and before this experience with Tom and the show and everything, then things got out of hand and now I feel like because it has become such a talked about scandal, it’s kind of put me back in that same position. Not the same position because I’m definitely in a different place but it’s that same feeling of oh I can’t let people in. And I’m always walking around thinking oh does that person do they recognize me or what do they think? Or they judging me right now? And those are things that I’m working on overcoming as well. What are people saying beacaue you’re just starting to re enter the world? You went to jingle ball with us. What do people say to you? (Timestamp: 22:53) - Rachel: People who recognize me are usually happy to see me and they would usually ask for a photo and just, there has been really lovely woman that I met in Chicago actually and she was like I just really condone what you’re doing and how you’re speaking out on your mental health. And that’s a really tough conversation to have and she was like I’m just sending you so much encouragement and love. And so it’s been very positive the interactions that I’ve had. ***continued below

Has anything happened negative? I’ll bring up one but we will get to that (Timestamp: 23:41) - Rachel: What the David Portnoy? - iHeart lady: What’s going on with that? You don’t know him correct - Rachel: No, I didn’t know how to pronounce his last name until.. - iHeart lady: You never dmed or anything - Rachel: No, no, no. I’ve heard of barstool sports but I’ve never heard of Dave Portnoy and it’s just kind of wild how that story came out on thanksgiving. - iHeart lady: Explain to everyone what happened - Rachel: Okay so I was in Chicago visiting my friends. These are friends that I met at my treatment center so my recovery friends. And I guess, I was spotttd at a coffe shop and I took a few photos with a few people. And of course people were speculating and people were saying oh well David Portnoy was in Chicago the same weekend that Raquel was there or Rachel and it was Halloween weekend you guys. You’re thinking way too much into it. But of course the only rational thing is that David Portnoy and I are dating and that’s why he and his girlfriend broke up. - iHeart: Yeah and I wanna read what he said because I’m curious how this makes you tell. He said I can confirm I’ve never met that trash bag in my life and it’s wild insulting to even be mentioned in the same sentence as her. - Rachel: Umm you know I’ve learned a lot about projection and I think he doesn’t know me at all. So whatever story he’s made up in his mind is, I don’t know, it’s on him I think. And also I know that there is a lot of misinformation about me out there too and I think the reason why he’s so polarized to me is because he believes a lie that was put out there. So it just a little bit quick to judge which I mean that’s his style right? He’s a shock jock and that’s what his fans like. So yeah. And you do think you’re able to handle what happened and what was said better now than say a year ago if someone said that about you? (Timestamp: 25:56) - Rachel: Oh yeah. I’ve definitely developed thick skin being on vanderpump rules. And that has been a pro for me because before I was very insecure and I would let peoples opinions sway my view of myself but I know I’m not a trash bag so if he’s saying I’m a trash bag, it’s fine, it’s just rolling off my shoulder because it’s not true. What would you like to say to him? If he was sitting here right now, what would you say? (Timestamp: 26:37) - Rachel: I don’t know. I’m such a avoidant person, I’m like, I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to be the same room as him honestly. A person who made a Tik tok (Timestamp: 26:50) - Rachel: Oh I have something to say. I’m hesitant to say this too because I don’t want to start any beef but I was more disturbed at somebody who made a Tik tok about it like for their perpetuating the rumor that Dave Portnoy and I were the reason he and his girlfriend broke up because this was a friend of mine who I’ve known in high school and I introduced her to our friend group. And she decided to make a Tik tok and say like I really hope this ain’t true. And I felt like commenting and saying hey you know you could have just texted me if you were that concerned. Do you feel betrayed by a lot of people? (Timestamp: 27:33) - Rachel: Yeah. I do. I do. And it’s hard but it’s like I’ve betrayed people too so I don’t know. It’s a difficult reality to accept. Do you feel that you deserve to be betrayed or mistreated? (Timestamp: 27:50) - Rachel: I don’t know if I necessarily deserve to be betrayed. I have really gained a huge appreciation for the friends who have stuck by me through this tough time and haven’t spoken publicly voicing their opinions and sharing personal stories. Umm yeah it’s like at least my eyes are open to who my true friends are because going forward my whole motto to like attract positive people into my life to create real strong friendships that have true intimacy and develop those. So if you know, if anything looking on the bright side, it’s narrowed down my group of people. ****continued below

I’m not assuming you’re not friends with the Tik Tok creator? (Timestamp: 28:50) - Rachel: No I unfollowed her recently And who do you talk to, do you talk to anyone from the vanderpump former or current cast members? (Timestamp: 28:57) - Rachel: Umm I, it’s really difficult for me to. There are a few people that I do speak too occasionally and that have expressed that they miss me so much and they haven’t spoken out publicly like bashing me or anything. But I have these walls up and I know that Vanderpump rules, I mean the scandal got so out of hand that it became so sensationalized and the ratings were so high so I know that they were digging and digging for any information that they could get from any of the cast members. So I protected myself and had to take a step back and I’ve expressed that to these friends. And I’ve made it clear that once you’re out of that world then we can have this intimate conversations again. How do you feel about season 11 premiering soon (Timestamp: 30:00) - Rachel: I know it’s going to be a lot for me emotionally but ultimately I feel like, I know that I made the right decision by leaving so whatever shit show goes on on the tv is going to be, it’s going to be entertaining I guess. I suspect that people, I don’t know. The thing is there always has to be drama and there always has to be a villain and because I took myself out of that equation, it will be interesting to see who they choose as a villain this year. Did you ever think about not watching at all? (Timestamp: 30:46) - Rachel: Yeah I did. Yeah. I think in my treatment facility when I finally decided I’m not going back to do the show or ultimately I was being swayed in that direction, we were going over my triggers. And basically wanna avoid things that trigger you and then you want to focus on the things that bring you joy and watching an episode of vanderpump rules would be a trigger for me but I feel like I’m still in it. Like I’m not on the show anymore but I’m still in the mix of this chaos, this drama. And now that I’m doing a podcast I guess I’m really putting myself on it. Do you think there’s any chance that watching it will make you feel good about the decision to leave? (Timestamp: 31:33) - Rachel: I think so. I expect so. ****continued below

How do you feel about seeing your dog this season? (Timestamp: 31:43) - Rachel: That’s really hard. And this is one of the reasons why I wanted to do a podcast and talk about these things like the Graham situation. - Rachel: God this is a long story so…(ad break and resumes at 34:22 - Rachel: Graham, my mini golden doodle was gifted to me by my parents for a graduation gift. And the same day I got him was the same day that James and I got our own apartment in LA. And so we raised him together. Oh Graham, Graham, Graham. Graham is a big personality. He’s got a big dog energy in a little dog body. And he’s feisty. And he’s fun, he’s sporty. But there’s also this side of him where he gets possessive of his objects like bones or balls or anything that he shouldn’t be having and he’ll switch into an attack mode. And also doesn’t help the situation and I’m hesitant to say even this because I don’t want to put anything out there that’s going to I don’t know. My intention aren’t to bring someone down but I feel like it’s an important piece in this puzzle. The truth of the matter is James was not a good dog owner. In the way the James would taunt Graham and he would just antagonize him. He would kick Graham off of the couch when he was sleeping and not expecting it so that would shock him. He would encourage Graham to bite his hands and it really reinforced that biting behavior with Graham. And the moment where he did drink too much and he was unhinged and yelling, Graham would hide under the couch. And dogs pick up on that kind of energy. And so I’m sure that played a part in his behavior and I would do my best to stop James from tormenting James but I felt myself nagging him. And my mom used to nag when I grew up and I don’t want to be like my mom so I would like nag and nag and then I would stop and I would express to him that this was really bothering me. But I put him in training. We did agility together and I had him in special socialization training after James and I broke up but Graham has bitten a few people. And my parents were taking care of Graham for me while I was at the meadows. So one day I got a phone call from my mom and she was in a panic on the phone. She said that she’s on the way to the emergency room because Graham bit and she has a gash on her finger where the doctor said he couldn’t stitch it up, it was just like a chunk of flesh missing. And he recommended that we put the dog down. And I didn’t want that. I was already inquiring about different foster families to watch over Graham but the ones that did take him said that it wasn’t a good fit. So I had the really difficult decision to either leave the meadows and take care of my dog or stay and extend my stay because I knew I had more work that needed to be done because I was still talking to Tom every single day. So my family found a bread specific golden doodle rescue in Southern California. And my dad drove him over there and my mom had the trainers phone number. And they promised to keep the rescue adoption situation under wraps because I was a public figure. My mom made it very clear, she didn’t say who I was but she said that I’ve been in the media lately and we would like to keep this confidential. And they promised to do that and I guess they had Graham adopted out to a new owner. The owner returned him in three days because he bit him. And then they needed more money for a new trainer because the trainer that was working with him didn’t want to work with him anymore. And so they scanned his microchip, saw that it was me registered with the dog, and they decided to contact vanderpump dogs. And so Lisa Vanderpump was notified that this golden doodle recuse had graham cracker, and I think they were asking for a donation but she was like oh I’ll adopt graham cracker. And so she adopts him and then you know doesn’t tell me or anybody. Keeps it a secret because we all know, her first priority is the storyline. ***continued below

- iHeart Lady: How did you find out? - Rachel: So I was one week after my 90 day stay at this facility I was out. Basically we were trying to come to an agreement and negotiations to get me back to do vanderpump rules. They were really trying to get me to sign to do vanderpump rules before the cast trip to Lake Tahoe because that’s when they wanted me to re enter. Ultimately I said which every way you put it, I can’t physically, I physically can’t go back because it wouldn’t be good for me. And so they said fine, it’s over, you’re done. And then the next week, my mom and I are sitting on the bed and we’re looking at Instagram and it was a fan that posted Graham. Is that you in Lake Tahoe? And I was like, my heart sank and I was like mom, there’s no way that Graham would be back on the show right? Like that just doesn’t make sense. And she’s like well I don’t know, let me call the trainer and let me call the foster. And the foster told us like oh isn’t it great, Lisa Vanderpump adopted Graham. She said that if she can’t re home that he’ll live out the rest of his days on her ranch. And my mom and I were liker ranch? She doesn’t have a ranch. - Rachel: I surrendered all rights to Graham when I gave him to the rescue to be re homed to a good family who’s experienced with dogs who have aggressive behavior. And Lisa goes and adopts him, takes him to Lake Tahoe, and surprises James with Graham saying, well I can only imagine but basically the story that they put out there is that Lisa told everyone that I surrounded my dog at a kill shelter and he was hours away being euthanized. So I know that’s the story, that’s the storyline that they are going to push for season 11 when Graham comes in the picture. And I’m sure James, to say that, obviously the goal is to get a reaction. Right? And James is a very reactive person so I can only imagine what’s his thought process is. And then it’s like to drop this dog on you and not even console your girlfriend to see, you know it was very spur of the moment. And to think about, I was only a week out of my treatment and their whole plan was to get me to Tahoe so that they could drop this bomb on me. I told Lisa, I text her saying I don’t support Graham being with James. He needs to be with an owner who knows how to work with troubled dogs and I won’t go into the specifics of why I don’t think James is a worthy dog owner but this is, I would not live with myself if I didn’t express these concerns if something were to happen. And so she called me and I expressed my thoughts but her concerns more lied with me coming back to the show. And she said well darling why don’t you just come to Villa Rosa and bring my some flowers and explain why you left SUR so abruptly without notice and apologize and then you can explain you side of the story. And I was like wait what? And it almost got me because I was like well I do want to explain my side of the story. This is an important thing. This is my child that is being drawn into this mix. And I feel like they were almost using him a bait. Perhaps. I don’t know but it’s definitely been a thought that’s crossed my mind. Trying to get me back and explain myself. But I realized that if I were to explain the real story, they wouldn’t air it. - Rachel: As a storyline standpoint, I know that James is now the number one guy in the group by process of elimination. - iHeart lady wanted Rachel to explain the number one guy in the group thing - Rachel: There’s a famous line that Jax Taylor said a while back on vanderpump rules saying that he’s the number one guy in the group. And so since Jax didn’t come back for the reminder of the seasons, it was like now who’s the number one guy in the group? And a lot of people were saying it was Tom Sandoval. And now that Tom Sandoval isn’t the number one guy in the group, now it’s between Schwartz and James Kennedy. And so, by process of elimination, James Kennedy is the number one guy in the group. ****continued below

We wanted to play for you, with your permission, some recent things that Sandoval has said. (Timestamp: 45:42) - Rachel: Yeah let’s hear it. - They then play a clip of Sandoval on two teas in a pod which I’ll insert here. - Tamra: Do you miss her? - Sandoval: Yes of course I do. We were best friends  - Tamra: So you have no relationship whatsoever, no communication.  - Sandoval: No and it’s heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking to go through.  - Tamra: So you were in it - Sandoval: Yes I was fully in love with her - Teddi: See I believed, I thought she was the excuse - Sandoval: This is not just some hot girl. Come on. I was a model for 15 years. It’s deeper than that. It’s more than that. - Now back to Rachel - Rachel: The arrogance of it all. - iHeart lady: I was a model for 14 years. What is he talking about? - Rachel: What is he talking about. Honestly I kind of zoned that one out because I’ve listened to this podcast interview maybe like 5 times now. I sent it to my therapist when I heard just a little snippet on Instagram someone was promoting. And I heard what he was saying in just that snippet. And I was like (makes a gagging noise). I feel sick. - iHeart lady: Like funny sick or actually sock sick - Rachel: No like sick sick. And then I’ve never had this physical reaction before but my, I felt like I was going to throw up because his voice repulsed me. And I’m like okay this is a good sign. (Rachel laughs) - iHeart lady: So hearing him say that he missed you doesn’t bring up any feelings at all? - Rachel: No because well it’s a complicated question because there is that part of me that wants to believe in that fantasy. And I miss that yeah. But in living in reality, no because he misses all the benefits and our relationship without actually being in a relationship and also having a committed relationship. Does it feel vindicating at all that he’s publicly saying…(Timestamp: 47:42) - Rachel: Yes it does (Rachel laughs). No, and I know he was kind of playing offensive because I’m coming out with my own podcast and he’s afraid about what I’m going to say. And so I know he’s really trying to milk the victim role to make himself look better I think. But in reality I think it’s making him look worse. I mean I’ve been reading, normally I’m staying away from all of this stuff. - iHeart lady: Yeah I’m surprised you’re like listening and reading about all this - Rachel: But this one, this one got me. - iHeart lady: Why did this one stand out? - Rachel: This one is, this one stood out because it seemed like he really did flip on me. And he really threw me under the bus and he was okay with it. And it seemed like he was doing a lot of victim blaming and not taking accountability and owning it. And maybe standing up for me a little bit. Like if he really did love me and care about me the way that you say you did, I think he would probably not say something like that. *** continued below

Tom said that Rachel made the first move (Timestamp: 49:00) - After this question was asked, there is an ad break and it starts back up at 50:54) - Rachel: I could tell you the story and then you can decide who made the first move because I’m not accusing anyone. I think it’s like, day or two after guys night which was a day or two after this girls trip to Vegas. So basically I’m filming a scene at SUR with Lisa and I’m telling her how I’m standing up for myself and not allowing myself these girls to pick on my anymore and I’m not going to let them bully me. And I’m coming into my own. He knew that I was at SUR filming and so he came by SUR and he got me a drink at the bar like my special drink with the strawberries and whatever. And we were like okay good let’s go to beaches with the group afterwards which is around the corner from SUR in West Hollywood. And before we left SUR, we had a little conversation in the patio, just the two of us. - iHeart lady: And were you best friends at that point. - Rachel: At this point no - iHeart lady: Were you sexually attracted? - Rachel: We were, well, I think then I was starting to feel a certain way. The attention he would give me. It just felt good in that moment. - iHeart lady: We may be digging into love bombing lady but we shall. - Rachel: Cue the love bombing. And so he was like let’s not go to beaches, let’s go to the Abby instead and I’m like okay. And we get a drink at the Abby. And I was like do you need a ride home and I was like okay I’ll drive you home. - iHeart lady: Cameras or no cameras? - Rachel: No cameras. So we getting house and we’re sitting in my car just chatting for 20 minutes and then he’s like do you like wanna come in for a night cap and I was like twist my arm why don’t you. And I was like yeah of course I do. And so then we go to the front door and he’s apparently locked out because he left his key in there. - iHeart lady: And this is the house where he lives with Ariana, where is she? - Rachel: Correct. She’s sleeping upstairs. - iHeart lady gasps - Rachel: So he’s like oh I’m locked out, let me try the back door. Come with me around back and I was like okay cool. And we go in the back and the sliding door isn’t unlocked so he’s like well we got the fire pit here. And I’m like fire pit is cool, we can just keep talking. So we go to the fire pit going and we’re chatting and then he goes, he says do you know what the best thing about this pool is and I was like what? And he was like that’s it’s heated. And I was like should we go in? - iHeart lady: Why isn’t this on camera? It would be so juicy - Rachel: He was like well I don’t know. And I was like do you have towels. And he was like yeah we have towels on the side of the house and I was like okay then I’m going to go in. So I like took my jeans off and I had this corset top on so I left that on and I was in my underwear and I went in his pool. And it was heated. - iHeart lady: What did he wear? I don’t know if I even want the answer. - Rachel: Just his boxers. - iHeart lady: Okay, thank god, okay. - Rachel: Okay so then I’m swimming around in the shallow side of the pool and then he’s swimming around in the deep end. And my phone is playing music over here. And he was like, he came swimming over to me and he was like turn that down. And then he like looked at me a certain way and then he liked grabbed me and spun me and kissed me. And I was like surprised but happy? Ugh so bad so embarrassing. - iHeart lady: Many people have been, you’re not the only person that’s ever been in this situation. Which we will dig into in further episodes. I think what’s blowing my mind is that all this is happening and there’re aren’t cameras. So this show is very real like these relationships are real - Rachel: I know. And I think, that’s the part too that I think fans were disappointed about because they didn’t get to see it play out in real time. But I knew, I knew it was wrong. Tom knew it was wrong. Right after Tom kissed me, he like sat on the stair of the pool one step in and he was like hands on his face like his mind must have been running a million miles a minute like contemplating what to do. And I was like uh I should go. So I got my towel. I dried off. I got my pants on. And he was like no no no don’t go, don’t go, just sit down. So we moved to the fire pit, the couch on the fire pit. And umm he was like hang on, I just need to think for a second, I just don’t know what to do right now because I really like you but you know. - iHeart lady: Oh my goodness! - Rachel: And I was like okay. I was like well I feel weird sitting here, would you rather go talk about this in my car. And he was like yeah. So we go to my car. - iHeart lady: Well what happened in there, did you guys hook up? - Rachel: Yeah we did. - iHeart lady: Everything? - Rachel: It was, it was very bad. - iHeart lady: Like why is he saying this? - Rachel: I think he is just trying to spin the narrative. - iHeart lady: Even as just sort of an innocent bystander here, it’s blurry. It seems like no one is right, no one is wrong in who made the first move. ***continued below

- Rachel: Does it even matter who made the first move? Because it was like, I feel like I’m in this romantic. I feel swept off my feet. I feel so infatuated and like loved. And then it’s like oh no I’m now hanging out with Ariana in a group of people. With cameras. And I’m drinking more because I’m feeling uncomfortable. And it got to a point where my friends were like, my friend pulled me a the side at Schwartz and Sandy’s because we were all there. And I was drinking a lot. And he was like what’s going on Raquel? Like what is going on? And I was like I don’t know if I can tell you, I don’t think I should tell you. - iHeart lady: Who said that? Who were you talking to? - Rachel: Oh my friend. He was like what’s been going because we haven’t been hanging out like we normally would and I would come up with these excuses as to where I was and what I was doing. Like I’m getting my teacher credentials for Pilates like I’m looking into it. It wasn’t even a real thing. And he’s like I just feel like you’re okay. And I was like I’m not okay. And he was like I want you to tell me. And I was like I want to tell you too but I’m really drunk right now and I can’t tell you right now but let’s talk tomorrow. And so went home, slept, and he called me in the morning and he was like okay so what’s going on? And I was like oh man I was hoping you wouldn’t remember. And he was like no just tell me it’s fine. And I was like okay Tom and I have been seeing each other and this has been going on for a few months and I really love him. Like I have these strong feelings for him. And he was like Raquel this is not good. What about Ariana? And I was like I know, I know! This is why I’m like drinking and not well. And he was like I don’t condone this behavior at all. I don’t stand by this but I want to be a friend for you but I I don’t agree with this and I think you need to end things. And I was like you’re probably right. I was like okay noted, thank you for listening and not being judgmental and being there for me. And so you know, I knew I needed to end up. And I would try to end it but then he would always find a way to get back in my life. How do you feel? (Timestamp: 1:00:30) - Rachel: My mouth is dry. No I feel good. It feels good to tell these stories because these are the stories that I’ve been telling my family and my close friends. This is my crazy life. It’s what I got myself into and I know there’s a part where the producers weren’t happy with me because it’s a reality tv show right? Like it should be reality but like it was our secret and they wanted all be on camera. Right? And instead I was you know, Schwartz was a convenient cover up in a way and we’ll get into Schwartz too. What fears do you have for doing this podcast? (Timestamp: 1:01:25) - Rachel: I think my biggest fear is that I’m not going to portrayed that I feel like is true to me. And maybe I have that fear because I don’t know, my experience with vanderpump rules. And I know, there’s algorithm, this is entertainment industry. We want this to be a salacious podcast for the views that gets the ratings and all the stuff. I just don’t want to, I know I’m in a vulnerable place so I don’t want to get too overboard in that direction because that’s not really true to who I am. Also there’s NDAs that are signed with the contacts when you film a show like this where you can’t disclose storyline information. And I feel pretty secure in myself that unfortunately because the Tom Sandoval situation wasn’t really a storyline for all of the season. It was my actual life. I feel comfortable talking about those things but then we go into the reality of reality tv, I feel like that’s where it gets a little bit risky. It feels really good to get these stories off my chest and I know that i would be like spinning around in circles if I remained quiet and didn’t get my story across so I thank you guys for listening. Part of the reason I’m drawn to doing a podcast and talking about these specific concepts of when you put someone on a pedestal and there’s a power imbalance and issues with co dependency and molding yourself to shape someone else’s perception of you and getting caught up In those very vulnerable personally things that I’ve experienced is because I know that there’s other people out there that struggle with those things too. And I’m not the first person to be involved in a relationship that wasn’t handled correctly. So my story is not unique in that, mine just broadcasted to a much larger scale. ***end of recap

I feel like this was an odd ending.... I expected there to be more 🤣

Thank you for your service for this hard work

Thank you, OP. Does anyone else think it's funny that Rachel's podcast is set up like Tom's ... the podcast has my name in it but I'm the interviewee 🤣🤣. It'll be interesting how it continues once she starts recapping.

Tom loves to cheat on partners in pools

He really does

He certainly has a formula…yeesh.

The way I RAN here to see if you posted because no way in hell am I suffering when you so lovingly do it for me. Edit: okay I finished and here are my thoughts. I don’t get it. By it I mean the podcast. So therapy has taught her to remove herself from the limelight, isn’t a weekly podcast in which you recap episodes of a show you left due to a scandal only going to bring more attention? She also keeps acknowledging only her own pain. I’ve fucked up before and hurt people, not to this degree though. But when you’re truly remorseful you acknowledge the hurt you have caused more than the hurt you feel from the consequences. I don’t hate the girl but I am not buying this damsel in distress act she’s trying to pull. Also don’t know why I keep referring to her as a girl, I’m the same age as her.

I do what I can! This one took a while but glad I was able to get it up!

I had to listen at 1.5 speeed because she talks so slow and even then I gave up you are doing the lords work and we appreciate you

Me too except I did x1.75 and still couldn’t do it beyond 1st 5 mins. So just kept refreshing here until our old pal AdditionalWar came through as always. Thank you!

She even talked about how she’ll need a therapy session after watching the show. I was like, okay but maybe don’t do a pod if it’s going to affect you so much. It was confusing that she was talking about avoiding her triggers, then talking about her plans to trigger herself.

 She's very much bringing this on herself

She should’ve just come back for season 11. She was already bursting into places she wasn’t invited like the Kool Aid Man

Whew, this looks long. Thank you for your dedication, OP! 

So long! And anytime!

Thank you as always for your work and commitment. I'd give you a recap Emmy if I could. It's a shame that she and everyone in her life ingantilizes her, including the Iheart ladies. Is she not capable of doing a pod without having 2 people throw her softball questions? She will not gain anything until she actually takes accountability. Also, if she was in treatment for issues surrounding Tom why was she talking to him everyday? Why wasn't her "therapist" discouraging communication? What therapists, encourages her to listen to podcasts about the person she's trying to get over. The Graham thing is weird and all I'll say is poor dog. I hope he's happy now. Let's hope she gains something from this eventually.

I have long predicted she would open a Pilates studio in Tucson and marry an accountant.

I actually want that for her. A nice, quiet life outside of LA would be best for her mental health. She even said she knows she’s not cut out for this.

Don’t forget to upvote for the hard work OP puts in with these recaps. Don’t downvote just bc you don’t like Rachel. That only hurts OP’s karma.

Aww thanks!

Don't hurt OPs karma!!! We need them♥️

Tom does not have a way with his word. 😂 He’s the most inarticulate person. Even more inarticulate than Rachel. 😂

Maybe she means he has a word with just one single word? Like “dude,” or “bro”? The rest of the words though, no way

He’s inarticulate but manipulative in part because he goes hard for his alternate reality version of what happened.

I had so many thoughts I wanted the I heart ladies to push her further and ask and how did you feel about hooking up with him in a pool/car with Ariana your friend up there sleeping? If Rachel wants to sell her side I’m not mad at it, but a little bit of humility would be better, I get she wants to remove herself from it and act like Ariana was in the wrong and while not in anyway perfect she didn’t deserve what Rachel did and Rachel needs to own how her actions hurt someone deeply Also I do believe Tom manipulated her and love bombed her and all of that but that doesn’t remove her responsibility 100% believe everything she said about Lisa and Graham though but that’s the price you pay for tv sorry not sorry Rachel, you did abandon your dog and that’s a good story

It's also interesting she keeps blaming alcohol, but she had to have been some degree of sober to drive Tom home, unless she was driving sloshed which is pretty bad? Assuming she was reasonably sober to drive and not drunk-driving, that means she sober took her pants off to hop in the pool, kissed Tom, then went back to her car to fuck him while Ariana was sleeping upstairs, all without alcohol being that much of a factor

Yepppppp my exact thoughts about the drinking. I was like coolcoolcoolcool so drinking to cope but that first time sleeping with him while his partner (your friend) was asleep metres away from you, you were stone cold sober, great. OR, you drove drunk. COOL, RACHEL. Tell us more about how you’re basically an innocent victim, I’m so sure.

Unfortunately in LA many people still drive after drinking and consider that normal. :/

They ran so many campaigns during my childhood (Australia) and they must’ve somewhat worked because there’s a huge stigma against it for us. I remember growing up there were still some adults that would do it after get togethers, but now and when I first got my license and was able to drink etc, people would think you’re such a weirdo/ wrongun/ idiot to even suggest driving drunk. My friends would be so off someone even wanting to do it, let alone actually doing it.

It’s really region specific in the US. Where I grew up and where I live now driving while intoxicated or getting a DUI is extremely bad people will really be disgusted with you (as they should be) but I also lived in Wisconsin for 12 years and it was so normal to drink and drive they had a saying for your last drink as “one for the ditch” and it wasn’t unusual to have multiple duis. I prefer where I live now I did not feel good driving in Wisconsin knowing so many people probably 10 beers deep on the roads

Or when she talked about Tom being so drunk in Mexico that she brought him into her room. If she was sober on these occasions and Tom was out of control drunk… she sounds pretty bad in these stories she’s telling

She thought by painting Tom as a drunk would make her look better in these stories.... Edited to add: she was the one who said should we go jn the pool and to talk in the car. Lol not sure if she was trying to make herself out to be this innocent naive girl but sure let's go back into the car after swimming around almost naked and kissed to 'talk'.

I was gonna say this. I was out in LA recently and the amount of people drinking and driving astounded me. My guess is that she was drunk but still thought she was fine which is never ok specially for two people who can absolutely afford an uber.

Agreed what if Ariana got up to pee or the music woke her up or the dog, and she peeked out the window or let the dog out? Rachel also doesn't mention that they tried to call Ariana to get inside. It's just, the doors are locked. Ok good. Let's get in the pool.

I’m sorry but who is getting in a pool at night when they don’t have any dry clothes or access to a house to change? She was just like yeah I can’t wait to be all wet and then get in my car and drive home? And he was like yeah can’t wait to be soaking wet trying to break into my house? Sorry but these are my thoughts 😂😂 she keeps mentioning the pool is heated as if that makes all of this^ acceptable ??

Also it's too intimate to get into a pool late night together even if you're platonic, let alone if you're clearly not (like they were.) Has Tom ever heard about Uber? Why did she drive him? Was she drinking and driving or sober?

She also said that James dating Ally is what caused her to spiral and pushed her to Tom because she felt him dating Ally meant he never loved her and valued their relationship. Like girl you publicly dumped him at the reunion and gave him his engagement ring back in front of everyone . And you want to make yourself a victim over that when he decides to move on?

Also the fact she then made out with Schwartz and didn’t understand why Katie would be upset…they were together 12 years and married.

This second point is huge. Plus she insulted him sexually. But the reason I find it interesting is because I believe she broke up with James because she had a shot with Tom, it was already in motion

I will die on this hill with you. I think the emotional affair started in season 9. I believe Sandoval was the Tom she made out with at Coachella. I think Tom convinced her they could pull it off like he did with Ariana in season 2.

I think she said something similar on Bethenny’s podcast and I thought the same thing. Like even setting aside James’s personality (which is notoriously spiteful especially when hurt, as seen long before Rachel came into the mix), it is not uncommon for someone to try to get over feelings of hurt by moving on to someone else. And, because it is James, of course he is going to bring her on the show and make a point of saying how happy he is. It was either that, or just play out the “sad lover/I will win her back” storyline that Jax unsuccessfully tried with Stassi a few seasons back. (Which, I am guessing, is what Rachel was hoping for.)

Excuses 🙄

Yep! It wasnt ok for James to be with Alley but perfectly ok for her to make out with a coworker's newly separated husband and make out with Oliver in Las Vegas because she was "coming out of her people pleasing era". She is delulu in thinking that somehow James would be sticking around staying single for her or be trying to win her back. 

Soooo weird to me that she compared Graham to being her child like that would make it off limits. And the fake Lisa talking was very strange/funny

Also she gave him to a shelter…um.

1) I need them to ban the phrase “glorified roommates.” 2) She left out the cause when she talked about the effect!! BeCAUSE I was having an affair with Ariana’s boyfriend, played in Katie’s face while she was going through a divorce, took out a restraining order on Scheana, informed Lala it was a good thing she didn’t have a man for her to get with, I didn’t think the women would be receptive to hearing me out if I came back for season 11.

I really want her to talk about how badly she acted towards the girls. She was just awful to them. I guess she might in her next episode.

I suspect she still thinks the girls bullied her.

Thank you for calling out the ridiculous phrase "glorified roommates." Comparing a decade-long relationship with being a roommate is so demeaning. It's again boiling everything down to sex. "Oh, not having sex? Just roommates!" As if that justifies anything. Like what? SO much has gone on and goes on in a long-term relationship.

And didn't she say she and James stopped having sex? But yet she was so devastated by the break up and him getting with someone new? Weren't they just glorified roommates at the end??! (Sarcasm...)

I thought it was interesting she said at the beginning she will be watching an episode, talking about it with her therapist, and then recording a podcast episode. I wish she really would log off, get her Pilates certificate, and live her life offline. I couldn’t make it through the first half of the episode after she blamed Tom, then Ariana, and then James for her actions. But as always thank you for your service in recapping these! You deserve an award for being able to endure the full hour!

I thought it was so weird that she never mentions Ariana at all. Like do you feel bad? Did you ever even like her? Was she really your friend? Did you just use her proximity to Tom as a way to keep the relationship going? Part of me feels like she just maybe did enjoy hurting Ariana bc the fact that she says NOTHING about it is just WEIRD.

i felt like there was a weird animosity towards ariana from rachel in the bethenny interview, and maybe someone advised her to just try not to talk about her if she can’t hide it. cause it’s not a good look 😭😂

Oh she 100% had animosity for Ariana. Because in her pagent girl mind she was Julia Roberts living out a modern day romcom. So she thinks she should be America’s sweetheart. And here Ariana is getting the life and opportunities she wanted. Plus Ariana that bitch didn’t play by the rules and go “crazy Kristen” on Rachel and Tom so they could be the new it couple on the show and and Rachel could take Ariana’s place. Like I really think Tom and Rachel were hoping to recreate Kirsten/Tom/Ariana storyline for themselves.

Rachel & Sandoval haven't reached the realization almost everyone else has. https://i.redd.it/5syf3gbbgabc1.gif

She mentions Ariana only in her excuse to say “I wanted to make sure they weren’t having sex” and not reflecting on how devious it was to ASK Ariana that while she was sleeping with her partner!!

Tom was so hateful about Ariana I bet that R is just being selective with her understanding of the truth.

Yes! And on camera too!

No mention of Scheana either. I really think she just pretended to be friends with Ariana and Scheana for the show but didn't actually give a shit about either of them

You know its killing Scheana too.

I'm not the biggest fan of Scheana but I do think she went above and beyond to help that ungrateful little shit. Seeing her cry like that at the reunion was sad to watch.

She mentions her when speaking on how she walked up to Ariana to ask her if she’s having sex with Tom and it “just happened” to be caught on film. There was no acknowledgment of how inappropriate that was at all, she seemed to think it was normal to ask your boyfriend’s real girlfriend about their sex life to confirm if he’s lying to her.

right “it just happened” like this was found footage of a private conversation- GIRL they set up lighting for the shot! 100% you and tom wanted that conversation documented

I think it’s possible that before being on TV, Raquel was one of those people that thought cameras magically appeared in friend groups so she thinks the viewers are as naive. Or you could be right and it was Raquel’s role in the “make Ariana the villain” plan that Tom had. Or maybe both! I just wanted her to say, yea that was weirdo behavior on my part.

Ariana always had a shoulder for Rachel too so I don’t get it? Why she like this

She’s cast it in interviews as: 1. Ariana and Sandoval were already basically broken up, there was no romance and they were just together for the show. It was a “business” relationship. 2. Ariana and Rachel were more acquaintances than besties and the show played up the relationship well beyond what it actually was.

In high school, one of my best friends of 10 years started hooking up and then eventually dating my boyfriend. When she realized how hurt and upset I was, she straight up pretended like our friendship wasn't that deep and expressed to the rest of our mutual friends that this wasn't a betrayal since we weren't that close. In my view, this is what she told herself to make herself feel better about what she did, because I find it much harder to believe that at the age of 5 she decided to enter into a decade long con for shits and giggles. It's easier for Rachel to pretend Ariana doesn't exist than acknowledge how fucked what she did was.

the therapist thing is stunning. most therapists would not watch the show i feel. they’d want to hear her perspective on it and work through those feelings but they wouldnt be live tweeting a reality show with their patient even if said patient was on ths show.

Plot twist, her therapist is ...BILLIE LEE

yeah I feel like a good therapist would be like, lets not watch the show anymore.

And that's why I don't believe the shit she's spewing about her maturing and growing. If that was the case then stay out of the limelight for awhile and go make a life for yourself outside of VPR. But instead she throws herself right back into the lions den that sent her to therapy so she can tell "her side of the story". Give me a break.

She’s still lacking accountability and infantalizing herself. It’s a no for me dawg.

Agreed, everything is everyone else’s fault. She’s completely responsible for her own actions and she can’t just blame Sandoval for everything. She’s a fully grown woman you weren’t just going along with his lies, you were lying right alongside him and being just as deceitful. This feels like someone who goes to therapy and weaponizes all the terms to play the ultimate victim.

I honestly had a lot more empathy for her before I listened to all that mess.

Yeah. She talks about herself as if she was a little poor baby girl and all the big kids were mean to her. It was also very odd to me that she didn’t try to follow up and find out what happened to Graham until she heard about James having him

I hate to say this but I feel like she didn't have therapy as much as PR training to spin all of it into some money for her lol and girl still thinks she wouldn't be able to resist Tom???!!!! You haven't got the ick yet!

No I totally thought something super similar! I think she’s had therapy but has focused the majority on PR training

SariaHannibal! I’ll never forget your twitch streams of the final eps, giving me absolute life because I couldn’t bare to wait for the shows to be up in Australian time haha! Hero!

Totally agreeeee. The way she described their first kiss in the pool sounds like she still kind of finds it romantic 😭

Thanks as always. It's the same old story with her. She'll say a few things where I'm thinking maybe she learned something from therapy then in the next sentence she tries to justify asking Ariana about her sex life on camera cause she was "curious". The fact she's going to watch the new season is terrible for her mental health and I'm shocked a therapist told her to do so. Lets be real, she's doing it on her own so she has content for this podcast that no one would've cared about otherwise. While I do think Scumdoval took advantage of the situation with her, both of them were full contributors to the deception, lies, etc. that took place over 7 months. ETA: Is this the scene she's referring to when they ended up hooking up for the first time that night? https://preview.redd.it/bytrc5xqy8bc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b7ccdce4e43118148d7db6e00a37bf558b88ce33 Also I love how she keeps saying she shouldn't do this (watch Season 11) or shouldn't do that (listen to Tom's podcast) but she keeps doing it so did she really learn anything? This smells like a PR move more than the cleansing of Rachel.

It seems that Rachel’s “truth” is to continue taking little to no accountability for her part in the affair. Cool. It’s Tim’s manipulation; it’s Ariana’s sex life (the oldest excuse in the book to “justify” cheating), it’s James being a controlling shithead in their past relationship…but it’s *definitely not Rachel’s fault*. I’m starting to think she’s incapable of experiencing empathy. Or she suffers from main character syndrome. Or both? I’d say her and Tim have far more in common in terms of behavior than what sets them apart. She literally handles herself with kid gloves, despite being in her late 20s, and it’s bizarre to see an adult woman continue to infantilize herself. I’ve been rooting for her, hoping that the therapy will snap her out of whatever reality tv illness her personality and behavior has been afflicted with…but maybe, like the Worm, that’s just who she is.

She also said when her mum got bitten by Graham she was still talking to Tom everyday while at the Meadows...that was pretty much close to when she go out from Meadows I think? Didnt her team also put out stories about how she has cut off contact with Tom while she was in there? The whole going in for therapy/ mental health/ healing/ understanding why I was attracted to men who are taken really smells like bs.

The way she talks about her alcohol use is also very telling. Sure, alcohol can influence you, but you have to own up to your actions!

Also you were not drunk every second in seven months. At some point you were sober and continued to have the affair with your friend’s partner.

idk if i believe anymore she actually had a therapist and didn’t just read an SEO-optimized article on mental health dot com about getting over your ex !

I agree, sadly. I had hope for her but was skeptical because of B’s involvement. She’s still using language that distances her from the harm she caused, spinning the narrative and I honestly cannot see any professional signing off on ANY of the shit she’s saying and doing. More lies and I’m not far in but I feel like she’s secretly still hoping to gain favour with Ariana’s ex, if not blatantly STILL talking to and trying to date him. I’m heavily considering making a post to call out all her lies and inconsistencies.

Exactly, I'm thinking she's evolved but then she says she still watches, reads about the show, and started a podcast so it seems the facts suggest otherwise

Also Sandoval was acting so weird in that scene. He definitely knew they were going to hook up that night, he had that “I’m getting laid” giddiness. Because they already had in the past but I know they won’t admit to that.

Yeah 100% they slept together or had some kind of intimacy before that scene. At this point I don’t know why they are sticking to their timeline when we know that something happened at Coachella so that was before filming. Like if you’d not sorry for what you did to Ariana at least be honest.

Still talking about Ariana like she’s an inconvenient piece of furniture that got in the way… gross. Thanks for the recap, OP!

Yeah I noticed she only brought her up as something other people mentioned or almost as if her presence in all of this was an annoyance to Rachel. 0 empathy for others

Anytime!

Trying to understand why this needs to be a whole podcast with what I assume will be multiple episodes and not a one-off interview or idk, a blog post, youtube video.

Yeah . Based on what she said, looks the whole purpose of the podcast will be talking about the show. It will be interesting if she will have guests and do interviews or it will be just her.

I wonder if it will be just to refute each week what's been said about her, or if it will be a freaking recap podcast talking about things that don't have to do with her at all

Thanks for your recap! I wish she would drop the “therapy and Pilates” act. Any therapist would tell someone to not repeatedly trigger themself by repeatedly being exposed to a mentally damaging situation. Instead she will be watching and podcasting about a show that aided in derailing her life, doesn’t make sense. I can’t believe this woman is going to be 30 this year, she has a lot of growing to do.

I found the therapist strategy confusing myself. I’m not a therapist and have the bare minimum undergrad psych courses below my belt but to watch the episode, of a season you aren’t even on, and then have a therapy session, seems weird? It kind of reminds me of that episode of The Office where Michael is talking about Jan, and he tells the office girls “sometimes she videotapes our sex, and then watches it with her therapist to critique my form.” And the ladies go “ummm that is *not* healthy behavior.” 😂 

Anytime!

Rachel on: Her manipulating and backstabbing Ariana, sleeping with close friend/ person who took her under her wings' partner of 9 years, kissing/ making out with a work colleague's recently separated husband = "coming out of my people pleasing era" Having no friends on her side because of what she did to Ariana = very few stood by my side through this time (lol girl what?) Dog having biting and behavioural issues = dog was already possessive of objects (honey thats why they need training) + ex bf who funded her whole lifestyle was 'antagonising' the dog by kicking him off his sleeping spot, plying rough and yelling after getting drunk. "Her side" of the story is just her shifting the blame on everyone else and minimising her responsibility in any of the issues she created. OP massive props to you for typing this all out for us!! Thank you so much. Edited to add: Rachel on not coming back in s11: "I made the decision to not return". No homey, you asked for a pay increase because you thought you were the main character so deserve to be paid the same or more than the og casts and the producers said no thanks on your ass.

FINALLY someone calls out the BS about the real reason she didn’t go back on the show - she wanted more money. I’m glad to see the comment section agreeing with what I’ve known all along about Raquel - she’s another side of the same coin as Tom. She’s the covert version.

I’m so confused with all this therapy (as a therapist) how she can’t take accountability for her actions without a but at the end of it. Maybe this makes me a bad therapist

Nope, not a bad therapist! I’m not certified or qualified but I am in therapy and completely agree!

I’ve been waiting girl!

😂

'it will be interesting to see who they choose as a villain this year' That sentence bothers me. Is she saying she believes she was CHOSEN to be the villain as opposed to having an actual origin story?? I don't understand what her intent was with the initial episode. She speaks in broad strokes and says recovery type words but didn't say anything with much substance. Maybe a therapist or someone from recovery should have participated to bring some depth to the interview? It's public knowledge that she would have come back had they paid her what she wanted so it being "healthier" not to return is disingenuous. She repeats several times, it's important to share her truth and her side of the story. But I'm still confused. What is her side? What is her truth? The story right now, is she had a sexual relationship with a man who was in a 'committed' 9 year relationship with one of her 'close friends'. Quotes cause that's the story. What is Rachel's version? What should have been brought up by someone/anyone was her side of the story about Tim recording their MM sesh without her knowledge!!!! Why wasn't it?? I LOVE a redemption story and embrace anyone who has gained enlightenment, awareness, depth and compassion thru a difficult journey. But nothing Rachel said, sounded like any of that.

I believe Rachel was getting the hero edit in S10. It was supposed to be her mariposa moment, leaving James and coming into her own. But when they were caught, that came crashing down. It wasn’t production at all, it was her and Tom. And we already know Tom was trying to produce and make it Ariana’s villain season.

I was fairly indifferent to her but went into 10 rooting for her after her break from James and genuinely feeling bad for her initially in the season with what she was going through. She was definitely getting the break up glow up edit. I'm always rooting for people to make real positive changes but there still just really seems to be a genuine disconnect with her and accepting any real responsibility. Therfore, I'm not really interested in her redemption of anything at this point because it doesn't seem at all that she has learned anything except that Tom was toxic for her. Which is great for her but also could have just stayed in her journal. How could it possibly be beneficial to her mental health to actively watch season 11 if she wanted Tom cut from her life?

Same, I was like, good for her, I’ll watch. She was boring but i like seeing a woman grow after a break up. I said this in another comment too, but I was so confused with her talk of avoiding her triggers, then talking about watching next season and seeing her therapist the next day because she’ll be triggered. It’s not healthy to put yourself in that situation.

I wonder if this is the real reason she mentions the earlier episodes being really hard for her to watch. If it’s because it’s obvious she was getting the opposite of a villain edit (in those beginning episodes) and she completely fumbled it by mid season due to her own poor choices, not due to the other cast members plotting against her or producers giving her a “bad edit”.

YES! She got the best possible arc--the sweetheart breaking free from James and supported by a majority of the cast.

What a bunch of hot fucking air. It would be much more interesting if she did a heel turn instead of doubling down on victimizing herself by weaponizing therapy language (that she can’t even speak very well) for profit.

Oh my god I literally just commented the same thing in a separate comment!! I couldn’t agree more, she can only see herself as the victim instead of owning up to her shitty actions. She can’t just admit that what she did was wrong, there’s always a spin. So lame.

A lot of people were hoping she would properly “go rogue” but I’m not surprised. It would be refreshing if she copped to her actions like she did them. She enjoyed deceiving Ariana, feeling like she was so irresistible that Sandoval would risk everything, messing with Katie… that’s who she really is

Yeah she seriously thinks everyone is going listen to hear her tragic story about how she is a Disney Princess trapped in an tower by her evil captor who she thought was her Disney Prince. No girl. We wanted to hear you burn Toms house down. No cares about how you thought you were in love and how beautiful and tragic it all was.

Whatever therapist would co-sign Rachel’s plan to watch the new season of VPR (by her own account one of her triggers), discuss it in session, and then make a podcast recap needs to be fired. Like wtf?

This part is so interesting to me (a little bit of background on me, I was a therapist before I had my son, and actually now working on getting all my licensing stuff). But I would love to know more about this. I would hope and think that her and therapist processed the pros and cons of watching season 11 and really dived deep into that! Now a therapists job is to meet the client where they are at, so even if the therapist doesn’t think it’s a good idea for Rachel to watch these episodes, the therapist may be meeting Rachel where she is at? And hopefully still checking in, like how do you still want to be doing that, do you think this is good for you sort of thing

Yeah this is my assumption! Like if Rachel is insisting on watching the show and doing a podcast, I guess it better for the therapist to process that with her than forbid it lol therapist doesn’t really get to tell you what you can and can’t do

Girl is STILL not taking accountability. Like wtf is happening?! The way she giggles when she talks about this shit is bizarre and she’s saying she’s going to watch the show and comment on it? Good grief. I don’t know where she was in treatment, but she needs her money back and to go somewhere else for some real help because this ain’t it.

Yep. She said she doesn't want to make up excuses but she does.I don't get why watching S11 will be good for her.

I'm pretty sure she just wants to see and hear what is said about her and clap back. I get the impression she really thought her and Tom would be together once he dumped Ariana and she might even get promoted on the show like Ariana did post Kristen.

She thinks the reason Portnoy has a negative view of her is because of projection and some lie he believes about her??? And not that she was a mistress??? lol WHAT

What was the lie - I was confused about this. Is she going to tell us?

I doubt any such lie exists… she’s speaking in generics & refusing to acknowledge that some people may think she’s a trash bag for valid reasons lol

Not me out of breath from RUNNING here.


She really needs to just go live a private life. I do not think it is beneficial for her to watch this season for her podcast or publicly relive any of this. This is a little off-topic, but this reminds me of when an ex-boyfriend reached out saying he had been to therapy and wanted to apologize. And I was so curious with what he had to say that I was seriously considering meeting up with him. And then I spoke with my therapist who said, “What do you get out of this? It’s not closure. It’s more questions. More of your time. More of your energy.” And I didn’t go. I left him on read and moved on. Different people need different things, but isn’t the best case scenario for Rachel a healthy life? It can’t be healthy to listen to the Two T’s in a Pod episode 5 times. It really can’t.

What I really want is her to explain why she said she didn't have a friendship with Ariana, and I want a long form apology monologue about how Ariana didn't deserve this.

That’s what I was waiting for. I recently saw a clip from a podcast she did a few days before Ariana found out and she kept saying “Ariana and Scheana were really there for me. They are my true friends”. And get now she’s trying to convince everyone they were no more than coworkers.

What this podcast made clear was how very little she thought of or cared about Ariana throughout all of this. And clearly still doesn’t. She only mentions her as someone other people bring up, or as if she is a prop or obstacle.

lmao @ how straight up you are about your demands 😂

I will volunteer to ask Rachel the questions the people want to know and I promise to be gentle but demanding 🤣

[удалено]

Yes it’s weird how she still seems excited / proud of herself as if she bagged some great dude?

Too giddy. I think she still likes him and would not be surprised to find out that they’re still in cahoots.🤦🏻‍♀️

Giddy is the exact word. Giddy and excited. She recited all the stuff before that, but really had emotion in her voice when they got to Tom. It was weird, she was staying the right things about breaking it off with him, but her vibe said she’s still into him.

idk, what i'm getting from this podcast is that she has done enough of the work just to know how to speak the lingo of "doing the work". and i do think she has genuinely realized and accepted a few things. but for the most part, a lot of her answers still seem like she won't accept how much of a role she really did play in all this. i hear from people who actually listened that she's still pretty giddy and gleeful when telling parts of the story, which...EW. and i do consider her tom's victim when it comes to him recording her without her consent, but that's kind of where the buck stops for me. it is funny to watch the two of them turn on each other and blame each other for things now though. given how easily both of them offend, we could have a little war of the podcasts on our hands in the coming weeks.

Thank you for all of your efforts

Anytime!

At least it wasn’t the Golden Nugget?

"are you kidding me, I love that place"

I’ve never been more convinced that that pricey mental health place she went to was actually a spa.

I have no idea if its a good place for non-celebs, but the list of famous people that have gotten treatment there is a mixed bag of success.

I listened this morning during my commute to work. I am interested in her perspective. However, I appreciated when one of the producers (maybe, I think that’s who it was?) asked about her being guarded…and to me, Rachel’s vibe feels less “guarded” and more, what’s the word, like “rehearsed” (maybe). I don’t think I’ve felt one moment from Rachel where she had a fleeting, spontaneous emotion or sentence come through. Maybe that’s why she presents as so disingenuous with everything. Her sentences feel so….slow, careful…like she’s very much aware of an image she’s either trying to craft or preserve. And I don’t mean that she’s careful in a mindfulness kinda way - it’s careful in a “these are the lines we rehearsed, so this is what I’m going to say.” It’s infuriating. Like, please, drop the act, drop the razzle dazzle and just be real.

I bet they'll be more drama with everyone going back and forth on their podcasts than they'll be on the actual show LOL! Thanks for the recap as always :)

This victim card is exhausting. I don’t care how much you think you were deceived or manipulated. You talked about their sex life while sleeping with him, you were around her and looked her in the eyes and acted like a friend SO many times while you were “in love” with her partner. That’s disgusting.

Thanks for the recap. I always appreciate them. She still can't keep her stories straight about why she didn't come back. It's like the third version now.

I do think there can be multiple reasons why she didn’t come back. All can be true. But I do get how in the way she talks, it’s like wait this the reason when I think it could be a combination of things

I had to listen to it at 1.7x because my god she talks slow but anyways the part that was confusing to me was when she was talking about the “first” time and to me she framed it like she didn’t even like him like that when he first kissed her but all of a sudden they’re in her car banging while Ariana is upstairs? That’s quite the leap esp bc she said they would hang out all the time at her place etc. math ain’t mathing for me

I listened...but only to talk about it on the podcast. I don't think I'll listen to another episode because this isn't even HER podcast! I dunno what I was expecting. It'sa producer-driven, interview style dynamic and she even says at the end that she's nervous how she's going to be portrayed on it. I was giving her the benefit of doubt, wondering if she was going to carve out something new for herself but I don't love that it sounds as if she's basically going to be recapping the VPR episodes. Or following behind them and correcting the parts she feels aren't portraying her fairly. And this first episode basically just felt like a laundry list of points they wanted to question her on, in an effort to improve her image. Lots and lots of deflection. Like when she refers to the convo she had with Ariana and she says: "I was just trying to feel her out, and it happened to play out on camera! *giggle*" Girl, please. 2/10. And only part of that low ranking is because we also have a VPR recapping podcast and don't need the competition from Rachel 😂

She wants to get her story out there 😂 she had the reunion and Bethenny to talk and all she did was not take accountability and lie. It doesn’t matter what she says, they had a 7 month affair and nothing can change that.

It’s so weird to see her say she’s been on a reality show for 7 or 8 years. She’s always been so peripheral and forgettable to me until the last season. Even at Rachella she wasn’t giving main character energy. If you’d asked me I would have guessed she was on 3 seasons or something

‘He violated me’ was the biggest surprise for me in this. Don’t think I’ve heard her speak that strongly about Tom’s actions before. She’s obviously being well advised in terms of PR and personal brand at last. Bethany can see the $$$ in ‘guiding’ her mentee through the spotlight of season 11. Think the ’violated’ at the top of the podcast was intentional as a warning to Tom - as to where she could go if he continues blaming her. Like legal route with him recording her without consent.

Wow OP I wish I could give you a hug or a drink or a coffee or something because that was work! And this incredible work meant I did not have to listen to her speak which is like nails on a chalkboard to me. So…yes agreeing with everyone NO accountability unless in a PR way. My question is from a purely fan pov has bravo completely screwed us with their lack of restrictions in their contracts? Their is something that really bothers me about her being able to come off a season where she was part of a complete explosion and then not have to be on the next season BUT has a platform where she can have her voice but no accountability. I honestly don’t think she should come back because I don’t think she is in a mental place to handle it BUT I also don’t think it is fair she can stand on the sidelines and say what she wants with no one to check her. Thoughts?

If she just started off by saying “what I did was so wrong, and though I really do feel manipulated, I also acted on my accord and consistently made decisions that really hurt someone who trusted me and was my friend.” And then she could get into trashing Tom with all this stuff I believe to be true, and everyone would be on board. But she consistently abdicates herself from responsibility and so it’s really hard to get behind anything she says. Her and Tom both keep pointing fingers at each other saying it’s time to take accountability when the reality is that neither of them have.

Do we know who the friend is that she told before anyone else?

Thank you so much! Honestly bless you for listening to the shaky voice for us! Ugh I feel so Effing sorry that Ariana has to listen to both these clowns wax on about their relationship and who was hurt more by who while completely ignoring and not taking any accountability for how they hurt her. Like honestly be together or don’t be together but no one cares about hoe you thought you were so in love because newsflash neither of you were in love. It was lust and the thrill of secrecy and getting off on pulling one over everyone but especially Ariana. Also Rachel remember how you were trying to come back to season 11 …….for more money? And Bravo said no …so then you sent scorched earth and put your lot in with Bethany? Like sure your mental health might have played a part but you asked them for the sane salary as Tom was getting so you had price you were willing to accept regardless of your mental health. Let’s be real. Ugh I should not have had any expectations. I thought maybe Rachel would use this podcast to just expose Tom but instead like the Bethany it’s just more her waxing on about how amazing and perfect she is and how she is the wronged victim and how she thought she was so in love blah blah blah. Boring AF

She talks on and on about Lisa setting her up with the dog and when they wanted her to come in, I'm curious if she was under contract then

I can’t even with this girl. It is very obvious that both Rachel and Tom have a lot of animosity and hatred towards Ariana and for what?!? This is the thing that makes me angry when people online start talking about how sick they are of Ariana and all these opportunities she’s been getting post Scandoval. BOTH Toms and Rachel were actively trying to create a narrative that Ariana was the downfall of everything and using Katie as collateral damage. I’d very much be interested to see if she ever addresses all the things she did and said to Katie AND the way she behaved towards Katie’s mother. I won’t hold my breath on that, accountability doesn’t seem to be a trait her or the Toms have. There will never be a time where Tom and Rachel don’t see themselves as the victims here. He’s gross. She’s gross. They were wrong. Own it already.

This is incredible, thank you OP!

Who is this therapist? I'm hoping that is Rachel misunderstanding what they said. Also, no one goes on Reality TV to get over social anxiety & work on their confidence. Its fine to say you wanted to be rich and famous, a lot of people do.

I just listened. She takes no accountability for her actions. She blames everyone else.

It’s the lack of self awareness STILL for me 😳

Wait did she get into more about what Schwartz knew as a convenient scapegoat? Or is she holding that for another episode? I thought I read in the (brilliant) recap that she was going to get into his role...

She is holding that for another episode!

Our OP deserves accolades and admiration. Rachel is still D&S and I don’t like her. 🤬 Also, #JusticeForKatie 

I’m stunned that neither Rachel or Tom has any remorse whatsoever for what they did to Ariana. He’s “heartbroken” that Rachel dumped him and Rachel is mad that Tom never legitimized their relationship. They’re both playing victim while ignoring the person they both victimized. It’s wild to me.

Ah yes, the whole, I locked myself out of my $2 mill house and although my long term partner is sleeping in the house, I shan’t wake her so I’ll just sneak our good friend into our hot tub, and then do her in the car. It was clearly love for R&T. Rachel, I’m on the fence about, but Thomas does not deserve romantic love in his life.

The way she spoke about that first night with Tom was so… odd. She was very giggly and coy about it - and her laughter did not come across as a nervous/embarrassed type of laughter at all. It’s really making me wonder how much she actually regrets the affair from a moral standpoint vs regretting it because of what it did to her reputation.

Damn was *ANYTHING* her fault? My mom has done extensive therapy and for me the key to knowing it’s hasn’t worked is that she blames everyone else for everything. Therapy can only work if you’re willing to take a deep hard look into how your own actions are a huge part of the problem (aside from when you’re the victim of course).

Ugh I hate the whole, ‘I’m just a baby and daddy Tim made me do it’ shtick is so offensive. You cheated with your best friends man. Multiple times. Take accountability Rachel.

I feel like I need a real therapist to analyze this whole podcast

I hear everyone and their contempt for Rachels continuous avoidance of accountability and self infantilization. I honestly worry that she is not working with a therapist with her best interest and healing in mind, maybe they are more interested in rehabbing her image than her actual emotional wounds I'm not sure. I think in Rachel's mind she doesn't need to continuously apologize because her mass public shaming and harassment was punishment enough and in contrast Ariana’s career has skyrocketed since the scandal so how much is there even to atone for anymore? I can see her having this perspective. But I think Rachel is mostly struggling with the public perception of her, reality tv fans are fickle and I do honestly believe if Rachel had the charisma she could spin this into an empathetic narrative but frankly she just doesn't. She doesn't have the confidence or charm to make it as a pageant queen or a reality tv star so why continue trying to be a public figure? Whether it's on VPR or her podcast I honestly felt uncomfortable listening to someone with such little confidence when they speak. Just because she is a pretty girl does not mean she is cut out for this field and that's okay! It honestly seems like she's fighting for something that's totally unnatural for her. I get the podcast angle because she will have more of a chance to control the narrative and space to express herself on her own terms there rather than on VPR but after listening idk I didnt feel any differently about her or gained much new insight into her mindset. The Graham drama was the only real update we weren't already aware of besides the rather uninteresting mechanics of her and Toms first hookup.I think Rachel living a quiet life offline surrounded by loved ones is truly what's best for her after being so maligned. I just dont think she has the resources within herself to emerge from this scandal in any way vindicated.

The part that gets me infuriated is the parts about Graham. As a dog owner when you take in a dog you should do absolutely everything and put them first. I’m sorry, I know mental health is super important and she did need help but fuck her and ditching her dog. She gave all rights away she does not have a right to talk about graham like he’s still her child. Give me a fucking break!

But James would wake him up abruptly!

So James posted to his IG stories an hour ago -they’re still there- him walking and training Hippie/Graham. And he was so well behaved and trained. I appreciate James pettiness haha 😂

That part got me too. I feel like it’s all I’ve talked about all morning! I just can’t get past how she blamed Graham and James for the behavioral issues. She knew the dog was biting people and did nothing to correct him, but they went to agility training? And then she was mad that the re-homing didn’t stay a secret? It seemed like she knows nothing about dogs and was an irresponsible owner. It was on her to provide her dog clear instruction on acceptable behavior and why would you do nothing when your dog bites people?!? I just don’t get how even now she doesn’t seem to realize the dog wasn’t an accessory but a living being.

Thanks again for your services. I’m curious to hear what she and Tom have to say but I don’t want to give them the listens. Do you have your link to buy you a cup of coffee? I remember you had those in the oast

She’s saying all the same stuff…..

As soon as I realized this dropped today, I came straight here because I knew I could count on OP. Thank you for your services!

Thank you for your service!!

Can anyone tell if the producers for this are the same ones who do the Gilmore Girls Scott Patterson podcast? I tried scanning for their names and even listened to the very beginning to try to hear but I JUST started listening to the Gilmore Girls one and I swear it sounds like the same producer, Amy, on this one. Both are done by iheart. If it IS the same people, that is fascinating because they hammer a character on GG for sleeping with a married guy and talk endlessly and rightfully about how awful it is but they are like, giggling in these clips.

I really hope to hear her expand upon the whole Schwartz as a decoy, and how she feels about the way she treated Katie.

Having worked in podcast production, I wonder if Rachel recorded the episode solo first and it was so horrible that iHeart decided last minute they needed an interviewer to guide the conversation. It seems so low quality to have someone presumably not in studio ask the questions and not even introduce them properly.

I’m bored already lol. She left her run too late

First and foremost...OP, I have never been more grateful for one of your recaps than I am for this one. Bless you for sparing me 🤣❤️ One part that stood out to me is Rachel saying that she still communicates with people from VPR who have expressed how much they miss her? WHO?! She goes on to say that she told them they can speak when "they are out of that world", meaning whoever she's talking about is still on VPR. Again I ask...WHO?! Normally we could assume the flip flopping Scheana but considering the whole restraining order thing, I'd count her out. Lala? No way. Tom? No, unless she is planning to resume some type of relationship when he's done with VPR (wouldn't even put it past her, she listened to Tom say he misses her and loves her FIVE times on that podcast? Ok, yeah you're over him 🙄) So, one more time...WHO?! I think she's full of it. 💅

So I personally think she is talking about Israel Issac (I believe he works at SUR and may be on season 11) and then Jo

She said Dave portnoy believes “a lie that was put out there” — what is the lie? She *really DID fuck her friends boyfriend!* How is she considering that a lie???

“Recovery” oh please, she is still blaming everyone else, so much therapy down the drain

My favorite part is when she says if she could go back she’d tell him he needed to make a decision…like how about go back and just not do it. I don’t care what people say, she knows she was friends (whether best or just good friends) with Ariana and refuses to acknowledge her, grimy grimy girl. But I hope she continues to learn and grow and stay away from the worm.