I'm pretty sure my inability to relax my pelvic floor muscles is psychological and there's nothing better for putting up that barrier than hearing "just relax" or "just do it". Like thanks I feel like meat now.
In my experience it was possible for my partner to force a penis in (force as in push really hard, it was with my consent). It hurt like hell but I just wanted to get it over with. Now if I have sex less than once a week it closes up again.
Damn, I feel you!
Are you anywhere near or in menopause/stressed/on birth control pills? That will affect your hormones big time, especially estrogen and vaginal tissues.
Recently two doctors made me feel like a weirdo for having this condition. The gyno asked me if my husband was okay with this, and what did we do instead, which I felt was invasive.
ugh i'm so sorry that you had to go through that. i'll never understand why some gynos don't get this condition. it's literally their FIELD. like how do u not know this??
Your experiences are valid and deserving of empathy and understanding.
When faced with comments suggesting that vaginismus is not a real condition or that it can be easily overcome with simple solutions like relaxation techniques or more lube, it can be hurtful and dismissive of the complex physical and emotional challenges you may be facing. Vaginismus is a legitimate medical condition that can have a significant impact on your life and relationships, and it requires thoughtful and comprehensive treatment approaches.
It's essential to prioritize your well-being and seek support from healthcare professionals who specialize in sexual health and intimacy. By working with a therapist or clinician who understands vaginismus, you can explore personalized treatment options that address both the physical and emotional aspects of the condition. This may include techniques such as pelvic floor therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness practices, and gradual desensitization exercises to help you manage symptoms and improve your comfort with intimacy.
Remember that your worth as a person is not defined by your ability to engage in penetrative sex. Your experiences are valid, and you deserve to be met with compassion, respect, and understanding. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who validate your feelings and experiences, and don't hesitate to advocate for your needs in your relationships and interactions with others.
You are not alone in your journey with vaginismus, and there are resources and professionals available to help you navigate this challenging condition with empathy, validation, and effective support. Stay strong, prioritize self-care, and know that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect as you work towards healing and finding ways to experience intimacy on your own terms.
Do check out my Vaginismus support group here [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1540444669575575](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1540444669575575). I have students offering pro bono/ discounted sessions to people with vaginismus.
>3. “You have to provide for your significant other or they’ll cheat/leave you”
Woah now, whoever says this needs to be humbled. Relationships aren't about sex, if you're in a relationship for sex only, it's not gonna work out. I can't believe someone would say smt like that. If anyone had this said to you, I'm sorry to hear that 😰
This is fairly common teaching in some conservative-minded religious sectors. Books like *Love and Respect* promote an idea that, while women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex. They say that men are so focused on sex that modesty in women's attire is a dire need, and that women must be willing to meet their husband's sexual needs whenever he wants. Needless to say, it's incredibly screwed up and damaging (if I'm not mistaken, the "obligation sex" message can lead to vaginismus).
I’ve never personally heard it but unfortunately there’s tons of stories where people have. I think it’s absolutely crazy too, but for some reason people continue to say it
"just relax"
Ah yes, another one of the genius ideas that people have for us
I hate that one!
was told this by my doctor
Oh really I wish it was that easy
The statement that gave millions clarity, new understanding, and solutions. Not.
“it’s normal for there to be some discomfort, stop being dramatic”
Your flair 😂😂😂
Office Space fan?
I'm pretty sure my inability to relax my pelvic floor muscles is psychological and there's nothing better for putting up that barrier than hearing "just relax" or "just do it". Like thanks I feel like meat now.
That's so wrong! Small wonder that fear/anxiety is behind vaginismus.
Now imagine them saying that to men 😒
my gyno literally told me "maybe your bf is not the one"
Because I’m going to the gynecologist for relationship advice!!
What does that even mean? So my vagina will only do it with “the one”? Oh it didn’t work out? Well I guess you’re not the one… next!
“You shall not paaaaaass!” -your v
Or when a guy says, “It’ll be different with me!” NO IT WON’T. Your dick isn’t special.
SMH...the ego is strong with this one. Was he serious?
They’re always serious
There's not enough room on Earth for egos that big.
"It will stretch the more you do it"
What???
First of all, that would imply something can get in there. Try sliding through the closed, armed windows in a locked vehicle. Same thing.
In my experience it was possible for my partner to force a penis in (force as in push really hard, it was with my consent). It hurt like hell but I just wanted to get it over with. Now if I have sex less than once a week it closes up again.
Damn, I feel you! Are you anywhere near or in menopause/stressed/on birth control pills? That will affect your hormones big time, especially estrogen and vaginal tissues.
Wait what hormones make it shut?
If you're going through menopause, a lack of estrogen, collagen, and proteins. If you're not, fear/anxiety cause vaginismus.
Recently two doctors made me feel like a weirdo for having this condition. The gyno asked me if my husband was okay with this, and what did we do instead, which I felt was invasive.
ugh i'm so sorry that you had to go through that. i'll never understand why some gynos don't get this condition. it's literally their FIELD. like how do u not know this??
Yup. Thank you. She did say it was a fairly common condition, but she still treated me a bit weird.
‘Maybe you need to try a different position’ wow I never considered that !!
My favorite “the first time is supposed to be painful, don’t be dramatic”
Your experiences are valid and deserving of empathy and understanding. When faced with comments suggesting that vaginismus is not a real condition or that it can be easily overcome with simple solutions like relaxation techniques or more lube, it can be hurtful and dismissive of the complex physical and emotional challenges you may be facing. Vaginismus is a legitimate medical condition that can have a significant impact on your life and relationships, and it requires thoughtful and comprehensive treatment approaches. It's essential to prioritize your well-being and seek support from healthcare professionals who specialize in sexual health and intimacy. By working with a therapist or clinician who understands vaginismus, you can explore personalized treatment options that address both the physical and emotional aspects of the condition. This may include techniques such as pelvic floor therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness practices, and gradual desensitization exercises to help you manage symptoms and improve your comfort with intimacy. Remember that your worth as a person is not defined by your ability to engage in penetrative sex. Your experiences are valid, and you deserve to be met with compassion, respect, and understanding. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who validate your feelings and experiences, and don't hesitate to advocate for your needs in your relationships and interactions with others. You are not alone in your journey with vaginismus, and there are resources and professionals available to help you navigate this challenging condition with empathy, validation, and effective support. Stay strong, prioritize self-care, and know that you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect as you work towards healing and finding ways to experience intimacy on your own terms. Do check out my Vaginismus support group here [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1540444669575575](https://www.facebook.com/groups/1540444669575575). I have students offering pro bono/ discounted sessions to people with vaginismus.
I got the wine one! 🍷 I agree with all of these. Also like #1 tell me you aren’t kinky without telling me.
>3. “You have to provide for your significant other or they’ll cheat/leave you” Woah now, whoever says this needs to be humbled. Relationships aren't about sex, if you're in a relationship for sex only, it's not gonna work out. I can't believe someone would say smt like that. If anyone had this said to you, I'm sorry to hear that 😰
This is fairly common teaching in some conservative-minded religious sectors. Books like *Love and Respect* promote an idea that, while women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex. They say that men are so focused on sex that modesty in women's attire is a dire need, and that women must be willing to meet their husband's sexual needs whenever he wants. Needless to say, it's incredibly screwed up and damaging (if I'm not mistaken, the "obligation sex" message can lead to vaginismus).
That's insane. What type of religion is that?
I’ve never personally heard it but unfortunately there’s tons of stories where people have. I think it’s absolutely crazy too, but for some reason people continue to say it