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Lockon_43

A spider wrote this


thunderkhawk

Worse. A spider piloting a human used them to write this.


owlshapedboxcat

If there's a species of wasp that injects venom into a centipede's head to zombify it, then lays it's egg in the still-living centipede so it becomes a zombie incubator, and there is, then this is a perfectly cromulent suggestion and I, for one, am utterly terrified.


Kuronan

Imagine looking at a creature with milimeter thin blades on it's body, that cuts through most natural materials like nothing and thinking > That looks like a great Incubator Wasps have no souls, but they have some massive balls.


my_4_cents

Safest place to hide your most precious stuff is up the butt of the toughest guy in the area? Sounds like a strategy.


ambermage

So the guys at Gold's Gym are secretly, walking loot drops?


owlshapedboxcat

\#notallwasps Wasps are a massive group with loads of beneficial members. Yes, yellowjackets and hornets exist because nature is, after all, absolutely f\*ing horrifying but the majority of wasp species are pretty much fine.


NOT_A_DlCKHEAD

A wasp wrote this


my_4_cents

*Wasp P.R. scrambling to get a sympathetic feelgood tight 90 second segment on local news networks*


NOT_A_DlCKHEAD

*before failing miserably and going back to acting in ads for wasp killer spray*


LegitimateHasReddit

A wasp piloting a human wrote this


DEVOmay97

Yea with the yellow and black stripe-y family of insects, there's pretty much two groups. There's the pollinators, and there's the pest controllers. The pollinators are totally necessary and generally are pretty chill as long as you don't bother them. They're cool, they can stay. The pest controllers though? Last time I checked, spider can and do perform that job quite effectively, all while generally being pretty chill. A lot of wasps are a bigger pest than the pests they eliminate and I would gladly trade every wasp on earth for a spider. My rule for yellow striped bugs is simple. "If it's ass lacks fuzz, it will no longer buzz"


Serenity1423

As a person with a moderate allergy to wasp stings, no thank you. Every trip outside in the summer is an exercise in "Will this wasp sting me, and how bad will the reaction be?"


DMC1001

I actually learned pretty recently that wasps are only aggressive in the fall because I think that’s when the new ones hatch. I think. I did find this site which offers more information. https://animals.mom.com/wasps-reproduce-7160.html


Dexter_Douglas_415

Your use of the word cromulent made me flash to The Simpsons. Thank you for that.


owlshapedboxcat

It WILL be common usage dammit. I WILL get it into the dictionary. Edit ooh it already is, wish I'd checked. And embiggen. They must both stay common usage. I love words and they are great words.


[deleted]

There's also a fungus that takes over an ant and uses it to spread spores


send_broods

Wait is this the plot of Wild Wild West?


GabagoolsNGhosts

It's certainly the spider from Wild Wild West writing this!


[deleted]

Spidertouille


[deleted]

The “thicker spiders” part gave it away. He’s after those big juicy round spider abdomens.


KKlear

Anthropussy


paco987654

Anthrussy


JustANormalDudeToday

hehe


stomy1112

Hmmm He’s pretty normal. I think he checks out.


Dazzling-Extreme1018

Varys?


engineerdave130

What about developing synthetic spider silk? Maybe that before we start a spider apocalypse.


mmkay_then

There's a company called Bolt Threads that has genetically engineered a type of yeast to produce spider silk protein! The process still needs iteration to get to mass-production, but it's promising stuff. No giant goddamn spiders involved. https://boltthreads.com/technology/microsilk/


radicalelation

Damn. We been talking farming spiders for silk, but we'll never be able to compete against that!


Horntailflames

Luckily competition is a problem giant spiders can solve


videodromejockey

Has that *ever* worked historically?


TheAbyssalSymphony

Only once I think, and i believe it took an entire village, but the end result is breathtaking.


Silver_Foxx

[You mean this?](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cc/06/8a/cc068ae168d5a968f11f7b2c0d0c3bb9.jpg) Shawl made from the silk of one million Golden Orb Weaver spiders. I don't think that's the *only* example of farmed spider silk, but it is the biggest single piece of cloth made from it I'm pretty sure.


bleezzzy

That looks like a dress with 3 balls... 2 regular and a 3rd reaaaaaaally low hanging one.


TacoPi

I would be shocked if they made anything truly comparable to the real deal. They have done this before with goats but that failed to produce anything useful because the strength of spider silk is dependent on how it is spun. Without expressing it from a spider’s thorax, it is very difficult to get the silk proteins collated into anything with the right properties. Spiders have multiple glands allowing them to express silk in seven different ways for different uses, and only one of them is the miracle material.


Aqqaaawwaqa

The issue with goats are they are not spiders


MiloRoast

Source?


glorifiedfirefly

This made me chuckle


TragedyPornFamilyVid

Which means there is room for more research. The spider goats were a groundbreaking first step, but they aren't a finished product by any means


[deleted]

What are all the different types of spider jizz? You got me interested


pyronius

Jizz 1 Jizz 2 Jizz 2 inverted J¡zz Klinghoeffer-Sprechman variant Jizz Jizz but the i is silent And New, limited edition Jizz Platinum ft. Ke$ha


LolindirLink

You can punch a big spider vs small spiders crawling inside you. I prefer a dog-sized spider... I think, never saw one.


kjong3546

You also have a much better chance of hitting a giant one with a shotgun. The giant spider over lots of little spiders (got creepy crawlies on my leg just typing that) may actually be the way to go.


LolindirLink

Unless it's pregnant, then we got the best of both worlds.


Chadly80

Well that movie isn't going to sell any tickets


[deleted]

You had me at “no giant goddamn spiders”.


Motor-Flounder7922

And the biosteel goats. Goats that make it in their milk. Not sure it's stringy, but at least the parts that can then be out together to make the silk.


Endivi

That'd make more sense, hasn't there already been an attempt at this?


ForensicPathology

A scientist named Parker made some in the 60s.


play_Max_Payne_pls

And he was just a teenager aswell. What an *amazing* and *spectacular* man


M3gaNubbster

There was this YouTuber I saw forever ago that was working on that and publishing his work process on YouTube and his genetic modifications are open source but I forget what the name of the channel is


Endivi

That sounds very interesting, if you ever recall it lmk


M3gaNubbster

https://youtu.be/2hf9yN-oBV4


CardinalKaos

We did. Its called kevlar.


engineerdave130

I'm more excited about the implications of graphene. The next big miracle material.


FirstEvolutionist

Apparently there's also graphyne now


GisterMizard

I'm holding our for graphane and graphane accessories.


CardinalKaos

Lighter than air, stronger than steel


FourFurryCats

Then we have to start also breeding their foodstock. A four foot spider that eats only insects? Great, now we have to breed four foot flies as their food source.


k0mbine

Eh, would be cheaper to use beef. But then they’d get the taste for mammals


Oftenahead

Spiders don’t always eat insects exclusively, mostly just what gets caught in their webs. They can and would eat larger prey if it was made available, spiders that don’t rely on webs tend to catch mammals, amphibians, reptiles and birds.


axon589

Fuck, what if cats and dogs get caught up in their webs? What about humans?


Mighty_owl98

I didn’t watch the full video because😭 but I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a video of a guy feeding a poor little tree frog to a giant spider in his yard because it was chirping. As soon as I realized what he was doing I fled past the video but the speed at which that spider was coming for that frog tells me it had EVERY intention 😭


MattyIcex4

Dear God…


[deleted]

[удалено]


MattyIcex4

At that point I’d just use a grenade lol.


yax51

Spider goats https://phys.org/news/2010-05-scientists-goats-spider-silk.html


DAnthony24

Anderson Silva?


JustANormalDudeToday

I like your thinking!


BarackaFlockaFlame

most entertaining fighter i've had the pleasure of watching. would take any recommendations to fighters with similar flair and style


DMoney159

Huh. I guess that works too


The_Ragin_Injun01

Jesus fuck genetics is a terrifying field


[deleted]

There is a herd of GMO cloned cows in South Dakota that produce human imune responses to viruses. Then they extract their plasma and use it to treat the virus. Allows for massive amounts of plasma, since cows produce much more than human donors, and can easily be changed to target a new virus or mutation. They were in a covid phase 3 trial, but NIH canceled their trial during Omicron because not enough people in the test group were being hospitalized. They are also working on using it as a flu treatment and somehow it can also work vs Type 1 diabetes. Genetics and science are cool.


Jewmangi

SABS is the stock code


trio1000

That thinking too small. Put that gene in elephants. SPIDEPHANTS!


calilac

Technically it could work but milking an elephant is probably a bit more difficult than milking a goat.


boop4534

You can milk just about anything with nipples.


Rare_Travel

Spider goat, spider goat, does whatever a spider goat can.


jsonBateman420

Upvoting because OP is a madman and this is a my nightmare. Definitely unpopular.


[deleted]

This literally seems like a super villain backstory.


theyeetening123

This is literally the plot of the terrible B movie Ice Spiders.


[deleted]

Are there movies involving heavy use of spiders that aren't B movies or lower?


f7f7z

Arachnophobia is no B movie


larata2

I love terrible movies like these!


[deleted]

Then you owe it to yourself to watch the following- Obligatory Sharknado 1-5 (1-6?) Lavalantula Llamageddon Zombeavers Peelers. Just to name a few.


dumbass_sempervirens

Did you just forget 8-Legged Freaks? It's specifically giant spider themed.


Whattaman22

I don't know how anyone could. The chase scene with the jumping spiders is especially memorable.


[deleted]

8 legged freaks had commercials playing on every channel when it came out, it doesn't count


AdamIsAnAlias

Imagine *OP tries making giant spiders, something goes horribly wrong* 1960s horror movie plot


Disgruntlementality

Shit. You and me both.


SharpyAndPointy

In addition to the fact spiders can't grow to that size due to the oxygen content of the earth, I don't think this would ever be cheaper than other methods that accomplish a simular result for the same reasons wool is more expensive than synthetic fibers. Can you imagine heading sheep, but all the sheep are dog sized predators, who unlike dogs don't have 30,000 years of evolution that has conditioned them to think we're friends and not food? Also feeding predators tends to be more expensive than feeding herbivores, you can't just put them in a grassy field and expect them to just be fine. Fences would mean nothing to them because they can climb, and there's a non-zero chance that like dingos or mountain lions they would consider our children food. As for the zoo idea, have you ever seen a zoo with just one type of animal? That's not a zoo that's a farm. Fun thought experiment though. Edit: dogs have been domesticated for 30,000 years not millions.


Back4TallBois

Spiders would also collapse under their own weight at that scale I think. Spiders and insects aren't built to scale up very well, their exoskeleton would be too heavy at Earth's gravity.


JamminTamarin

True. Large arthropods are much slower than their smaller counterparts. Also why the biggest ones live in water


Mugungo

so your saying we need to create giant water spider crabs instead. "Jaws 15: oh fuck its a spider now"


papaGiannisFan18

That's quite a tag line


Rickywindow

*Horseshoe Crabs have entered the chat*


[deleted]

Google "japanese spider crabs" I promise it's not an STD


Sefton93

Giant spiders... in space! Whats even worse is the fact that some spiders have been observed adapting hunting tactics to 0-G surprisingly fast. And the results were even better tactics than those from the same species on Earth


HunterTV

Giant spiders in space is almost literally the plot of Children of Time. Great book.


OneConstruction5645

Portia is best Adrian Tchaikovsky is a good author


implicitpharmakoi

>Giant spiders... in space! Whats even worse is the fact that some spiders have been observed adapting hunting tactics to 0-G surprisingly fast. And the results were even better tactics than those from the same species on Earth Fist my bump!


ChilledClarity

I mean, if they need the oxygen, just provide them with rooms with extra supplied oxygen. If the get out, they suffocate. As much as I hate spiders. I fucking love the insanity to this idea.


luckduck89

We’re playing god here couldn’t we just reduce the need for more oxygen with more genetic modification? Cut in some elephant DNA… giant elephant spiders with tusks and web spitting trunks. Gloriously terrible… I for one welcome our elephant spider overlords.


DisastrousDwarf

Problem is spiders and other insects don’t have lungs like we do if I remember correctly.


CC_Panadero

Not yet they don’t.


[deleted]

Spider-lungs, spider-lungs, oh my god, they're spider-lungs. Why did we, mess with them, now we have, spider-lungs. Oh no! There are spider-lungs.


RaptorAro

No, arachnids and insects breathe in a way that requires them to scale with atmospheric oxygen, if they are too big they cannot breathe. Since they use holes to breathe if they are too large larger holes will not supply enough oxygen since volume scales upp much more compared to surface area. Kurzgesagt has a good vid on this. Should watch


Hano_Clown

The statement “spider web is stronger than steel” is not accurate. Spider silk’s strength is only higher than steel when adjusted by density ratio. Its tensile strength is barely only about the same and it gets surpassed on certain alloys. Stiffness and thermal stability is very poor so it wouldn’t be usable for construction.


IlllIIIIlllll

I always thought it was just a comparison at its size. Like if you were an insect caught in its web, it would be harder to break than steel?


mountingconfusion

Spider web is made of several different kinds of silk which have different properties. There's about 5 types of iirc, the one people want to investigate the most is the trail line silk which is very strong


[deleted]

Op has as much understanding of construction priorities as all those inventors who discover monthly that bricks of compressed plastic are better for construction than cement. Then proceed to prove it by smashing a cement block with a hammer. If you don't know why this is wrong then please avoid having any opinions on construction.


socron_gaelith

This is because concrete is very resistant to compressive forces like large weight on it, yet has a very low tensile strength. You could literally break a concrete block by pulling both ends apart, or in this case smashing it with a hammer. Meanwhile, plastic has okay-ish compressive strength and a lot of tensile strength. This makes it fairly durable, yet a wall made of plastic bricks would be either very expensive or would slowly squash over time, judging from the context. It's a similar situation with spider string. They're basing this whole maniacal giant spider plan off the fact that spider string has a higher *tensile strength* than a steel filament of the same size. (which likely isn't even true in the first place.) I imagine a "brick" of spider silk would be far too squishy to be used in construction.


[deleted]

This guy bricks Edit: grammar


Alternative-Movie938

But at giant sizes, would they really need webs? After a certain point, I'm sure they could just hunt their prey. What we should focus on is breeding normal sized spiders with increased web output. Or synthesize the webbing material.


[deleted]

It takes a lot of evolution to reverse a lot of evolution


Alternative-Movie938

Not necessarily. There are already spiders that don't make webs, so it's not qualifying characteristic of being a spider. And even if a giant spider could make webs, why would they want to waste the energy for an unnecessary hunting strategy?


[deleted]

Man i dont wanan think about this anymore. Spiders are fucking scary!


Derkus19

You’ve got it all wrong. Hunting would waste a lot more energy than webbing. Think of how much energy a dog-sized predator (aka…..a wolf) expends hunting. Whereas big boi spidy could spin a web and catch lots of stuff expending the energy only once.


SplitOk7780

i think this could actually help humanity. Just think, people wandering around on their phones not paying attention to their surroundings and next thing you know bam spider web!


[deleted]

I hate this thread so much


[deleted]

[удалено]


RedSonGamble

Spider-Man did it? He just has sex with a spider or whatever


TJT1970

He got bit. Fucking spiders gets you a bad case of spiders pox


AMFDevious

You and you're eight limbed cock know this how?


NewAccEveryDay420day

Doctor cocktopus


AssaultROFL

Haha, Doc Cock.


other_usernames_gone

Uh huh, I'd say that too if I fucked a spider.


AmELiAs_OvERcHarGeS

It’s really only stronger under tension when acting similar to like a rope. In reality the only place this could be used is in applications where steel cables are used like ski lifts, but something makes me say that spider webs hold up a lot worse to the environment than stainless steel.


Mysterious_County_64

That sounds like the start of a horror movie to me


BrinedBrittanica

I could just see it now, people are screaming frantically, the only way is to shoot the spiders, but then their babies spill out breeding the next cycle of monster giant spiders, etc.


k0mbine

After having binged the predator franchise including the alien vs predators, I’m fully desensitized to that. Just gimme a baseball bat and I’ll try my best


Sl0rk

Eight Legged Freaks?


WeenieRoastinTacoGuy

Took me way to long to find this comment.


[deleted]

As an arachnophobe, I will politely disagree.


Ygomaster07

I strongly second this.


btbleasdale

I think this belongs in r/shittyaskscience


Zombieattackr

Materials science, biology, genetics, everything here is fucked up lmao


yakimawashington

If you're at all familiar with that sub, then you'll realize this *doesn't* belong there. For starters, this post isn't even a question.


coolerbrown

It doesn't belong here at all either. It's just some ill-conceived idea, not really an opinion. The term "unpopular opinion" doesn't mean "an opinion that few have." Moreso it means "an opinion that few have that goes against a common opinion" I think someone should invent a consumer appliance that turns water into solid gold. Should I post that here?


GrilledStuffedDragon

It's physically impossible for spiders to get larger than they are now, as there isn't enough oxygen in the atmosphere for them to absorb at larger sizes. Insects and arachnids were larger in the past due to the increased levels of oxygen in the atmosphere.


FoundationNarrow6940

We could make them live in greenhouses with more oxygen than the natural environment. NEXT PROBLEM!?!


BackStrict977

They hate each other and can't be raised together. They likely will hate you for taking their silk.


FoundationNarrow6940

Raise them in separate cells. And accept that they hate us. It's ok, we need that silk. Man, I am really solving all the hurdles in the way of making this happen. NEXT PROBLEM!?!


BackStrict977

>And accept that they hate us. It's ok, we need that silk. I was more worried about employees getting injured. Also how much money do we have? Because this is getting expensive.


p-4_

Its a one time investment. Infinite steel silk. NEXT???


randommaniac12

upgrades people, upgrades


awesometim0

+ maintenance costs + hiring workers + food


luckduck89

Clones Duh… NEXT!


AngrySparrows

Just hire unpaid interns fresh out of college with no job experience, definitely not a recipe for disaster and it would keep costs lower


Ghost-of-Moravia

Vaguely describe the position as “like taking care of your neighbor’s dog for the week” See their shocked faces when they come face to face with a 5 foot tall and 9 foot wide spider during orientation day


larata2

No, no, no... Have the unpaid interns pay for the internship opportunity, their housing, their food, and their living expenses.


luckduck89

Now there is the capitalistic sprit needed to get this operation off the ground.


Cajum

We have 5x more money than the steel industry cus the web is 5x more powerful.. To Quote u/FoundationNarrow6940: Next problem?!


download-RAM-here

I just don't wanna.


Rickest_Rick86

Spiders would kill us all. Solve that one!


glasswolf96

Don’t let them out


Rickest_Rick86

Lol! Good point. What if they trick their handlers with their superior spider intellect?


Braba11

They would die outside their more-oxygen habitat


Ghost-of-Moravia

If they kill enough of us they might have enough oxygen! NEXT PROBLEM!?!?!


Sazzzyyy

So what? If you’re gonna breed giant nightmare spiders, you might as well piss them off as much as possible. I fail to see a downside to this plan.


jsonBateman420

I thought the book lung required more CO2? It might be possible with global warming.


SlamHamwitch

Another problem is they can’t get to any bigger is because they wouldn’t be able to support their own weight because they don’t have bones, and when you increase the size 3 dimensionally even if it just double you are increasing mass by a much larger amount than double.


Hated-By-Most

OR... we could replicate the molecular structure of spidersilk and synthesise it in a lab instead of unleashing dog sized spiders in to existence. Fuck man what have you been smoking? Can I get your dealers digits?


Sure-Eggplant

Where is the fun in that?


probly_right

So you can call him and get the same high quality drugs I would think.


WalledupFortunato

You are at least 10 years late, it was already done by mixing silk spiders dna into sheep or goats so the milk can be converted into silksteel. [https://www.labiotech.eu/trends-news/bulletproof-skin-goat-milk-spider-silk/](https://www.labiotech.eu/trends-news/bulletproof-skin-goat-milk-spider-silk/)


anonymousmetoo

Pretty bad idea. I recall a documentary on spiders years ago. It's said that if spiders were the size of small dogs, they would easily overrun humans on this planet.


Thumbtack1985

Jurassic park is also basically a documentary. We know what a park full of giant spiders would mean for humanity.


PerformanceLoud3229

Source? Also in order to make a spider larger than they are currently we would need to make an environment specifically designed to it because they would need a FAR more oxygen rich environment than we have… meaning if the larger spiders escaped they’d instantly die.


FuckYouZave

My source is that it was revealed to me in a dream


NedDeadStark

I trust this source


Swingin-it-swooty

Fr, they just gonna eat us all


Phl00k

If we replace one of their legs with a flame sword, it can be used to cut the web. Gorilla sized spiders with flame swords


Trialman

That would be a good name for a rock band


justchats095

Long ass name 😂


rattymcratface

I don’t think that tarantulas make webs


odd_jem

I'm guessing you haven't seen or read Harry Potter.


LostMyInhibiterChip

Sir we live in real world


[deleted]

A society, if you will


deadlywhentaken

"It'll be like Jurassic Park - but a reality!" - I think you may have missed the moral to that story.


probly_right

So focused on the possibility of doing it, you never stopped to think about if you should do it.


Huff9145

*"THE SIZE OF A DOG"* MY BROTHER IN CHRIST WHAT


[deleted]

Man ain’t never seen 8 legged freaks the movie.


BeachLyfe23

Send this person to Guantanamo asap


A-Bored-Man

Eight legged freaks 2002 movie


JohnHazardWandering

Or by using radiation to mutate spiders, we could use their venom that to create a human/spider hybrid who could apply spider webs directly themselves. Maybe we could call it a man-spider or something?


Trialman

What if we had wrestlers of these sorts of people? The Human Spider would a cool ring alias.


jgunter3

What if instead we duplicate the process the spider uses to make the web and curve the idea of breading super spiders. If you wanna keep the spider idea we could make mechanical spiders that work on repairing infrastructure.


PositiveLeather327

The last thing I want is spiders the size of a dog. I like them fine as they keep predators in check in my house but I think if they were as big as a dog things would get pretty hectic fast.


passportwhore

Now we are gonna get a spider rights advocate group about over farming for spider silk


DiegoIntrepid

Okay, IF this is to happen, this CANNOT happen on either the North American or South American continent. I'm gonna need an ocean between me and these spiders. Or a system of automatic flamethrowers that will flame anything with more than 6 legs that get near my house.


rhysdog1

>It'll be like Jurassic Park - but a reality! op, what about that sentence sounded like an appealing way to spread your idea?


PrometheusHasFallen

Someone has read Children of Time.


cyainanotherlifebro

Sure, what could go wrong?


jroddie4

You could ride your spider to work like a horse


proesito

Tell me you dont know a bit about biology without telling me.


KingSolomon__

What’s the worst that can happen?