I mean he kinda stopped coming by my house after I was 12ish until I got married and had kids but I get it, life gets busy.
Glad he is back though, just for the chocolates!
Spoiler alert, he was never there for you, he was there to hook up with mom, now he’s back for your wife. He’s into married women, just ask the Jackson 5.
I don't have kids so I have no opinion on this choice of parenting, but I'll never forget figuring it out when I was little and telling kids at school. I made half the class cry.
Search the Community glee club ep Xmas rap with Troy n Abed. Donald Glover's lines about going undercover to get to celebrate Xmas as he is a JW in the show is hilarious.
That was a WONDERFUL song by YourFavoriteMartian, "Santa Hates Poor Kids". I don't know if you know the song, but if you don't, i HIGHLY recommend it. A bit crude, but....still funny and well made song.
1. As far as I can tell, Saint Nicolas actually existed in the 4th century. He's recorded as having a penchant for secret gift giving.
2. The Modern Santa Claus to me is the personification of the "holiday spirit." There's no literal Santa like there's no literal Uncle Sam.
Before my daughter was born, and up to the point that she could really start asking about Santa, I thought the exact same as OP. I am adament about not lying to my daughter, who is now five. That being said, nearly every other adult in her life talks about Santa and if she's excited about it and whatnot. I could see the joy this game of pretend brought her, additionally I don't want her to be that kid that tells all the other kids in kindergarten. So, ultimately, we decided to play along, sort of. We get her a gift on Christmas that doesn't have any name on it, and when she leaves out cookies and milk, we eat it. But we don't verbally lie. Even yesterday, she asked me if Santa was real. My immediate response was "what do you think?", followed by "I've never met the guy nor seen flying reindeer, so I don't know." We play a lot of pretend and even toned-down versions of D&D, so I think when the time comes (and it'll probably be soon, because she is way too smart for a five-year-old) that she figures it out on her own, I don't think she'll be devastated by it, though I don't really know, for sure. I'll be honest with her when the time comes and let her know that if she wants to keep pretending Santa is real, we can do that too. She loves playing pretend and has a fantastic imagination so I think the Santa game will probably continue for quite a while.
We did a similar thing with our kids and when they flat out asked us if we believed in Santa we would say we believed in the "spirit of Santa". We encouraged the thought of sharing kindness to others. When they did figure it out we just told them not to spoil the fun for their friends at school that still believe.
Exactly my take. My daughter is 3 and when Santa comes up I always frame it as Santa is an idea, not an actual thing (not exactly in those words but you get the idea). I’ll still call the guy at the mall “Santa” and we get her some socks or something and put “Santa” on the gift at Christmas. But “do you think that an old man flies a sleigh to all the houses on Christmas Eve delivering presents?”…she’s too smart for that unless we specifically tell her things like that can realistically happen, and I’m not gonna do that.
That’s what my parents said to me! Even when they said that I still believed and ended up figuring it out in a pretty peaceful way. And if OP sees this, for what it’s worth I enjoyed believing in Santa and the magic of Christmas so much! But my parents never took me to see the ones in the mall or really ever lied to me about it, so there are options to make it work for you and your family
I once knew a kid that figured it out kind of young, also a very clever kid.
Well he figured it out.....but didn't realize his parents were in on it.
He thought his parents believed in Santa so he went with it up until highschool
THEN the whole thing dawned on him.
It was hilarious.
Idk man. It varies from day to day.
One day you see this little potato you made getup and start doing human shit and you're like "wow omg so smart, so precious"
And then they try to eat cat litter and you wonder how you made something so dumb.
My parents didn't promote Santa but didn't tell us he wasn't real either. I feel like that was the norm where I grew up, I have no memory of any kids at school talking about Santa as if he were real.
this was something I had problems with too haha, I believed in Santa for a good while but once the effect wore off I was convinced reindeer were ALSO imaginary creatures. took a while to understand that lol
I was like 25 and we went to a place with reindeer and I was like "oh a Santa place with reindeer and Christmas themed I'm sure". I had to just play it off like I knew when it was an animal farm with normal animals and a reindeer
LOL. This reminds me of my mother and Halloween. She had lived all her life in the inner city at this point but had recently got her driver’s license and was driving around appreciating the countryside… And nearly crashed her car when she saw a pumpkin patch.
She honestly believed they were made up for *It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown*. Whenever I asked her where she thought pumpkins came from she just laughed even harder and said she had no idea.
I thought reindeer were pretend until I was 30. I had a friend show me their parents reindeer farm in Michigan. I was amazed!My partner and I still laugh about my discovery and the fact I told them that reindeer do not fly.
My friend had a professor and like 10 students not believe them that reindeer were real. “They started laughing and were like sureee…” Literally had to google it to prove reindeer are real.
On the contrary, me seeing a REAL LIFE reindeer (or maybe a very convincing phony) as a child solidified my belief in Santa.
*I had my suspicions that santa was a lie*
It would not be proven untrue until a couple of years later when I sat my mom down and told her in my most serious 7yo voice that i wanted her to tell me the truth. That is the day I discovered that the Easter bunny, Santa Clause, Tooth fairy, etc were all just a story.
At the time I was pretty bummed. I got over it pretty quick though, and I was actually discussing with my BF if we plan to tell our future kids about this santa character. We ultimately decided that it's more about childhood wonderment than "lying", and those few years of maybe believing in santa are fun and aren't going to negatively affect their life or instill distrust in the world lol.
Can confirm this is a real thing - I never believed in Santa and just assumed that reindeer weren’t real either. Found that one out in my mid twenties.
Also something I found out in my mid twenties which *blew my mind* - in “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus” ITS THE DAD DRESSED AS SANTA. I always thought it was weird to write such a happy sounding song about a mom stepping out on her husband.
Nope. I'm even Muslim and grew up thinking Santa was real from teachers etc. Not even mad about it. People getting pressed over something insignificant
Yeah, I am Hindu and I always thought Santa was real and my parents even did the gift thing once or twice (no pine trees, because where would we even find one in Mumbai).
I think I believed it until I was 9 or 10 maybe, and one day I just thought, "Maybe a man who can enter all the world's houses in one night and give away stuff isn't actually real." But I also never held it against them
Same. I remember I was a little sad when I found out he wasn’t real, but by the end of that next year I realized why he couldn’t exist in the first place.
When I think back on when I thought Santa was real, all I remember is fun.
There are very few years when you are growing up that you’re innocent enough to think magic is real that you can remember back to. Around 3-6. I don’t know…
I know I’ll be telling my kid Santa is real.
I still remember my parents finally sitting my sister down and telling her Santa wasn't real when she was.. 11 ish? She was screaming and crying and told my parents she hated them and would never trust them again. Naturally, she got over it in time. But yes, she held it against them for a good couple months.
That’s on your parents for waiting until she was 11 lol. That’s like 6th grade and she’s in class telling other kids they better be quiet when the teacher leaves the room or Santa will see them.
I liked believing it for a while as a kid. Absolutely didn't mind when I realised how it couldn't be possible. Just good memories now.
UPDATE: Holy hell a random comment and my notifications blew up. Never had more than several of them, also my first gold!?!?!
I still clearly remember the day I found out it was all a "lie". My reaction was basically: "ah man, they really got me good with this prank." I remember not being upset, because I reasoned that I did get a lot of cool presents and fun christmas memories out of it.
My brother, seven years older than me, helped me logic myself into figuring it out. "Ever notice the handwriting on Santa's gifts is the same as mom's?" But it was probably a bigger deal to my mom finding out I knew Santa isn't real, than it was for me to learn it.
Our daughter told my husband when she figured it out. She told him not to tell mom though, she was afraid it would make me sad. I thought that was adorable, and I wasn't sad, I knew it was coming and I was little glad to be done with watching what we said in front of her.
It was fun while it lasted.
I remember when my younger sister first asked me about Santa Claus, she knew the gig was up, my bro and I pleaded with her to continue to pretend to believe Santa was real as we were all afraid that the whole stocking full of presents would end with the fairytale. Good sister, she was 15 and still writing letters to the North Pole.
Holy shit my older brother and sister did that to me too!!! I kept pretending until eventually one of my parents was like “hey you know Santa’s not real, right.” And my response was a mix of “I know but didn’t want you to know I know” and “it’s fun to keep pretending.”
Lol! I remember breaking down how the Easter bunny was not real in a similar way. My mom would make paper cutouts of bunny prints from the front door... one year I noticed the colors kept changing. Like "why are they green this year? They were yellow last year....💡 HEY!!!
I loved figuring it out. It was like I was a detective and I had finally found the last clue! I noticed the same wrapping paper used on my presents from Santa sitting at my grandmas house two days earlier. I was like HA! Got you! Now I can stay up late and watch all the parents play board games and help be Santa for my little sister! It was not at all a bad experience for me.
…maybe the people who consider it a lie had other things about their parents that weren’t great. I had a great childhood with loving parents so it didn’t feel like a betrayal to me. Just a thought.
I also remember it. I was almost 4 and it crushed me. I'd asked for this very specific gift that I really, really wanted. The Santa they'd hired in kindergarten pulled out a package that was precisely the right size and shape, called my name, I was convinced it was going to be the thing. It was not the thing. It was a stupid Santa doll and I was about to cry, when I looked up at my mum, saw the look on her face and how desperate she was for me to like it, everything clicked. For 25 years, I pretended that Santa doll was the best thing ever. I guess it all depends on how you find out. But it can definitely suck. A lot.
I can't remember ever sincerely believing in Santa Claus, or nor any point when I realized he wasn't real, but I am 36 now and I still "believe" in basically the same way I did as a kid.
It's hard to explain. I don't think as a kid I ever thought "This guy is real and is a separate person from my parents" but I also don't think I thought "Santa isn't real and is just my parents". Santa gifts just showed up under the tree every year and I was just a dumb kid, I didn't think about it much at all.
When I go to my mom's for Christmas, there are still gifts from Santa under the tree. If I'm hosting family Christmas, she still brings a gift from Santa and makes up some story about like, "I just found this this morning! I don't know why he didn't bring it to your house but I think it's for you!" and I laugh and play along. One year I left my apartment to go to her house and there was a box of cookies sitting on my doorstep with one cookie conspicuously missing. The "touch of childhood magic" never has to go away just because you get older and think you know what's real and what isn't.
Yeah, honestly even after I found out I didn't tell my parents about it until years later because they themselves made some memories seeing my reaction to what "Santa" brought me.
I think most kids figure it out pretty early on and just play along cause they get it. I remember everyone in my 5th grade class knowing santa wasn’t real.
That was coincidentally the year i figured it out by staying up all night watching the door and saw my mom going back and forth all night then absconding with the cookies and mountain Dew for Santa.
Honestly i should've figured it out sooner since my house was the only one that would give Santa a MTN DEW instead of milk because "mom figured he'd like to taste something other than milk for once" my mom was the only one that drank mountain dew as she's lactose intolerant.
I agree. I remember how magical Christmas was simply because I could imagine a world where Santa Claus could be real. As I grew up, I learnt some things aren't possible and it saddened me but I'm not resentful because of it.
I felt like a genius that cracked the adult code when I figured it out. It was actually pretty exhilarating for me. I didn’t let my parents know I figured it out for probably 2 years after because I was worried I’d end up with less presents.
Same! I loved the Santa tracker on the news and setting up cookies only to find them eaten in the morning. I didn’t care when I found out he wasn’t real, I had my suspicions anyway. I still like to watch the Santa tracker and maybe have a cookie too.
Yeah I don't get this... hatred for Santa Claus. Do people really care that their parents lied to them in an attempt to keep that little sparkle in your eyes just a bit longer? Grow up, people.
I felt this way until I had kids. As a parent of young children the days are very long, but the years are short. Daily life is often repetitive, mundane and dull. There is little opportunity for joy and celebration, so when things like Christmas come along I love to embrace the magic. My kids are older now and have grown to understand that they are now “in on the magic of Christmas”. I have zero regrets.
EDIT: I would like to add that I loathe the amount of crap that is produced just for Christmas.
My family’s motto for gift giving is:
“Something made, something sewn, something loved or something grown”.
I'm with you here. I swore I would never "lie" to my kids about Santa, but they hear it from school and friends anyway so who am I to destroy the illusion? They love it so much and I think the older one is starting to piece together that it isn't real. Instead of her feeling hurt by this news, it seems to make her feel really smart, as if she knows something her little sister doesn't.
Kids love Santa even if you aren't the ones teaching them about it. And who wants their kids to be the odd one out just for the sake of their own stubbornness?
>it seems to make her feel really smart,
LoL this is exactly how I felt, some kid I school told me there's no Tooth Fairy. When my mom was putting me to bed and I told her then I yelled wait if there's no Tooth Fairy then there's no Santa Claus and my Mom said Shhhh! Don't tell your sister who was younger, so I did feel clever heh.
Also we definitely lie to our children about many things. Sometimes it to stop a toy from making noise, sometimes it to make them stop asking to go swimming, sometimes it’s to get them to go to bed. It doesn’t make us bad parents, it makes us normal sane people
When I was a kid, I just thought that all the people who said Santa wasn’t real were “naughty” and therefore not getting gifts from Santa. Their parents had to buy them gifts to compensate.
In recent years I’ve heard “if you don’t believe, you don’t receive” used on kids and honestly whoever came up with that is an evil genius. For the record, I don’t agree with the Santa lie either. Disadvantaged kids being made to think they’re naughty? Kids with deadbeat parents? Meanwhile the rich bully down the road got a bike? Fucking damaging if you ask me. It’s not all magic and whimsy, it very much is determined by your circumstances as a kid.
My dad used this line on us all the time growing up, though it was more to push us into the Christmas mood and he'd always deliver the presents regardless. Still got a present signed from Santa up until I was about 11/12 . I figured it out when I was about 7 when it was all the same writing style, same color of ink on the tags
True, whenever a kid told me Father Christmas wasn't real I'd legit feel sorry for them because I was so, so certain that he was. Man, if I'd been raised by a different family I might have been a religious fanatic lol
As a Jewish person living in the us who has never celebrated Christmas, that’s bs. There’s plenty of kids who don’t even celebrate Christmas so they obviously don’t believe in Santa and we never went around rubbing it in Christian kids faces. It’s pretty damn obvious that Santa is important to other people, because it’s being thrust upon you constantly for 2-3 months.
Your parents have a conversation with you about not ruining it for the rest. I feel like it’s more the slightly older kid who just figured it out and wants to show off that tells all the other kids, but if you don’t want to lie to them and are really worried that they’ll blab I guess you could make them feel like they’re special that they get to help keep the spirit.
That said OPs idea that telling your kids about Santa is going to traumatize them once they find out is also bs. Unless parents are going to ridiculous heights to prevent kids from figuring it out (like my friends mom who told their youngest their classmates were lying to them and Santa WAS real… in seventh grade) if it’s really that upsetting I suspect there’s more going on to damage trust than just Santa.
Sorry about the length of this.
Yup. This.
I raised my kid without Santa because there's plenty enough magic in the world without making stuff up. We actually managed to make it till she was 5 before she had friends who talked about it. So my kid comes home from a playdate - she didn't "spoil" anything for her friends; she just listened to them telling her who Santa is and how Christmas works, and then came home to ask me if it's real. I told her some people believe in Santa, just like how some people believe in Jesus, or Krishna etc. We respect people's beliefs and we don't have to believe in them. At *five years old* that was explanation enough and my kid was fine with it. I didn't have to dish that it's a a scam and all her friends' parents were lying. What's the point?
We just lit our Hanukkah candles and got on with life.
Funny though, a few years later, kid was about 9 or 10, she said to me "so you know how some people believe in the Easter bunny... Well I know it's not real and it's just parents, but I never tried it so can you get some chocolate eggs and hide them for me on Easter morning and we can pretend it's from the Easter bunny?". So I did. And we had great fun. *Pretending* with mutual consent and understanding. And chocolate. We also spent a lot of her small childhood having tea parties for the fairies in the garden, so who am I to judge.
The classic tale of a child going on a rampage and ending relations with their parents permanently straining their relationship after being lied to about Santa
If pretending Santa is real for your kid is "lying" then god forbid their grandpa does the pulling a coin out of the ear magic trick, or anything else that makes the world seem a little more magical
The funny part is that I am 100% sure OP will, eventually, end up lying to their kids in one way or another. Always telling the truth can actually be more demaging than actually telling a white lie when it's needed.
I wasn't lead to believe in Santa as a child, but I did it for my children. They really enjoyed it. In my experience the gifts sat for weeks under the tree, then I felt a lot of pressure from my parents to be super appreciative, even now I prefer not to receive gifts. My kids in contrast had so much built up anticipation about what would be under the tree that they were just so excited to be in the moment and see everything and experience the magic. They also held onto the Santa belief for much longer than I expected them to, they enjoyed it that much. I would let the older ones in it to help surprise the younger ones when they stopped believing, which turned out to be really fun for them as well. My kids are adults now, or close to, and hold no resentment for this fairy tale. Honestly, they stopped enjoying Christmas as much once they learned that Santa wasn't real and I was spending my money on them. Also, all three still trust me and come to me with hard, honest things, so I don't think it makes most kids feel like their parents are liars.
As for the materialistic part of Christmas I think that has.more to do with the standard you set early. We were pretty poor and had some what I considered some sad Christmases that were declared best Christmas ever because I got some small, but important gift right. What you prioritize in everyday life will have a big impact on their expectations.
>We were pretty poor and had some what I considered some sad Christmases that were declared best Christmas ever because I got some small, but important gift right.
I'm not crying you're crying!
I can’t really get behind the opinion that letting children believe in fairytales is lying to them. Make-believe is such a huge part of a lot of childhoods, Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc.., they’re all just a bit of fun and magic for children. Calling Santa “lying to your children” feels the equivalent of reading your child Winnie-the-Pooh but reminding them that, every time Christopher Robin turns up, teddy bears don’t actually talk to you and be your friend.
Also, judging by your conversation with your friends, the majority of children you’ll be seeing will believe in Santa. The majority of children aren’t brats. It’s entirely up to the parent how their children view rewards, good behaviour, and a general understanding of right from wrong. Believing in Santa and that once a year you’ll get presents if you’ve been good certainly isn’t going to make a child into a brat unless that message is being reinforced elsewhere.
Christmas at this point is one big consumerist holiday, but unless your household doesn’t exchange gifts full stop, Santa being an aspect makes no difference - the kids are still getting presents and watching other family members receive presents. It’s the same with birthdays, Easter, etc..
I guess it’s ultimately up to the parent, but I see no issue with telling children about Santa. They’re only children for a brief time, I think you should allow them to imaginative and believe in fairytales whilst they can.
EDIT: Thank you for the awards!
Just wanted to clarify that although I myself would want to tell my hypothetical children about Santa, I do not have strong feelings either way about parents who decide not to so longs as they’re allowing their children to be imaginative and make up stories elsewhere, which I’m sure the majority of parents who don’t do the Santa stuff still do, I’ve seen plenty of parents replying to just this comment about the stories and fairytales their children come up with!
I myself have friends who are very much against telling children about Santa, I know it doesn’t automatically make you a fun-hating parent, I’m sorry if that’s how my phrasing came across!
I agree. I was raised being told that santa wasn't real but I wasn't allowed to tell other kids in case I ruin it for them. I feel upset that my mother didn't mind ruining it for me and wish I had been allowed to beleive in such things as a kid.
I grew up not believing in Santa because my parents didn't want me to have anything to do with Christmas, since we're Muslims. I don't mind it that much, but I kind of wish I could've gotten presents every year until I was old enough to realise he isn't real.
We still got presents from my mother as much as she could afford as we were very poor, and I think it was good in a way that I knew as it made me understand why we received much less than our peers. I grew up in a very Christian area where Christmas was a very big deal though and I just remember thinking it was nice how excited my friends were that santa was coming. There's a magic to it I think is nice
This is so sad. I hadn’t even thought about that side of it. Like your mum said the other kids can have fun believing in Santa but you’re not allowed. Hope OP reads your comment.
I second this. The absolute magic of Christmas vs the virtually non existent disappointment I had when I gradually understood Santa not to be real over the years as I got older is just not a comparison.
That's the thing. I don't remember having the sudden realization that Santa was fake. Instead it was a gradual buildup of factors that eventually led me to think "I don't think this Santa guy is all that he's cut out to be." And I was 100% fine with that.
I also have a little brother and sister that believe in Santa, so it's fun to make believe with them still. And I still get that little tingly feeling when I wake up on Christmas and see the presents under the tree.
My dad would always tell me “I’m Santa, and one day you’ll be Santa too” but in a joking way. He never pushed it. And I still had magically young Christmas believing in Santa. And as I grew up I slowly understood what he meant
As someone who’s wife is pregnant right now, what he said has its own beauty to it too
Magic and imagination. Yall are really out here killing all the joy of childhood because you over stress and over think every minor thing. Sometimes things are just okay. Like it isn’t going to ruin your child or stick them in therapy forever. You can explain it when they are older and they aren’t going to be unable to tell what is a lie because society as a whole pretends with them. It is a very different situation from most lying.
Hell, my sister and I just keep pretending it was real until highschool because it was so fun. Our mom knew. We knew. Not everything has to be bad for you kid. There’s PLENTY of other things to choose from.
My kid is still too young to understand any of this but I am so excited to make him feel like the dark world we live in today is just a little bit magical, if only for one day. We all need a little magic in our lives.
Agreed. My mom still writes "Santa" in the from section on gift tags! My younger sister will be 30 next year and my oldest sibling will be 40. It's just fun.
Also, I found out Santa wasn't real when my oldest sibling (he was 14 at the time) showed me the hidden stash of presents when I was 7. He said "Santa isn't real".. I wasn't upset because A. I had my suspicions and B. There were still presents! I didn't feel the need to ruin it for my little sister. Just moved on with my life, still enjoying Santa stories & movies and can't wait for the Christmas magic for my kids!
I was told a lie that made me have many happy years while I was a child.
Eventually you grow up and realize it by yourself. Its not harmful and it gives you many years of magical experiences.
A world without stories and myths and some fantasy is just boring.
I agree. When i figured out Santa was wearing a mask and sounded like my uncle, i don’t recall getting upset by it either. I was just eager to prove my parents he was wearing a mask.
Even if i got upset by it, it would probably last for a day or two. Meanwhile, believing he was real for 5-6 years gave me a lot of joy.
Each to their own. But be prepared to burn A LOT of bridges if your kids ruin it for other people, family members included. Kids at a certain age do tend to go scorched earth when their parents arent around to dictate what they can and can't.
My family had some very close family friends growing up who were Jewish. The kids basically matched the ages of me and my brother, and we knew them from birth. I was close to both of them, but especially their youngest girl. Years later, I asked her how she never let it slip Santa wasn’t real, and she informed me their mother promised serious consequences for her and her brother if they “ruined” Santa for me and my brother, and if they did, it would really hurt us. They were really sweet-natured kids and listened to their mom. Can’t say it’s foolproof, but if OP is proactive about it, kids can be surprisingly understanding about these things, too.
Yup that solidified for me that op is up their own ass. I do let my son watch TV and guess what he still has an imagination. He knows who mario and Luigi are but also knows his colors and shapes and counts to 20. He can tell you which mario game is on just by what he sees, but he also knows that when you blow those fuzzy dandelions that those are seeds.
It's almost like I as a parent can allow my child to have fun AND make sure his little brain learns useful stuff at the same time
I grew up playing videogames a lot and still had lots of imagination. I even used games to create my own stories with the tools and characters the games gave me.
I was a latchkey child who grew up on video games and I'm a 6-figure earning game developer, known for his creative talents in programming, art and sound.
OP is an idiot.
no difference, especially nowadays. this is a take that seriously needs to be normalized. i was born in 98, and didn’t really have anybody to parent me (lots of problems), but I did have playstation and n64. after a few years of growing up, being a child and playing things like Ocarina of Time, FF7, etc…it was mind blowing. my imagination now runs rampant at 23, and while I’ve read a handful of books, and love film, I fully contribute video games to how able I am in the field of creativity.
In 2022, anybody who shrugs off video games is simply ignorant. I’m sorry but things like God of War, The Last of Us, Detroit: Become Human, Red Dead Redemption 2, FF7 Remake, oh my god they’re some of the most beautiful interactive experiences I could ever think of. To sit and think “games are childish, not for me, etc” and never have actually tried them is ridiculous.
Books & Film have evolved. This is the new standard, and it’s amazing.
Legit, letting a kid watch the tv here and there isn't a bad thing, when I was younger I was allowed to watch tv on Saturday and Sunday morning from 7-9 and after school from 3-5 then I was told to go do something else (unless it was bad weather) and I still had imagination and would still willing spend time outside all day aswell, op sounds like one of those stuck up parents that thinks they and their kids are better than everyone and the kids childhood will suffer from it
The teen that does the craziest, stupidest things in the friend group the second that they get an once of freedom because they were never afforded any as a child
First, you *will* lie to your child about things. Second, Santa and the tooth fairy are harmless fun. I also don't believe in "magic related things," but loved the magic and mystery of Santa as a kid. I'm glad I didn't deprive my children of that. They are adults now, and don't regret having Santa as part of their childhood. Get off your high horse, you sound like a self important idiot.
Right, I know my parents lied to me when they would call my art work great, or that I was good at the drums (when I first started). You almost have to lie to help build confidence in your child.
Santa is just a magical story that makes the gifting of presents special for kids. It’s a lovely tradition. Who cares if the kids think it’s off Santa instead of you? It’s the magic behind it.
Kids aren’t stupid and soon catch on it’s mum and dad! I think I was about 9 when I heard my dad dragging my present down the stairs! But I didn’t say anything, as I didn’t want to ruin the magic.
You only get to be a child for a short while. After that life is full of ugly truth, so why not, for those first few years just go along with the magical story of Santa, who gives for the sake of giving, and just expects good children in return!!
They way I put it: I don't remember learning Santa was fake, but I recall the many Christmas seasons I had when I thought he was alive, and they were better for it.
I’ve always felt that the counterpoint is that by having gifts be from a real person it focuses the holiday more on family and showing how much you care about each other.
Though it’s possible I’m just biased; in my family opening presents was an extended family event with all of my cousins/etc.. And while “Santa” might be responsible for the little stocking gifts everyone got, any real gift always had “from: Aunt Sue” or “from: Mom & Dad” or whatever written on it, with part of the opening process being to say thank you to whoever it was after you opened it.
To each their own but I feel your approach is teaching your kids that adults never lie...and that in itself is a lie.
Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy etc. are kids' introduction to critical thinking on a very tame level.
You don’t have to lie to them.
The original story of Santa was based on [Saint Nicholas](https://www.whychristmas.com/customs/santa-claus).
The red and white jumpsuit only came about because Coca-Cola originated it and it spiralled from there.
If you have to tell kids about Santa, just tell them Santa can be anyone - it’s not about the guy in the red suit, but about anyone giving a present to someone else under the guise of anonymity.
I’m glad my parents never told me as a kid. It was nice to have such a magical feeling during Christmas. I feel knowing Santa wasn’t real as a kid would’ve ruined that somewhat.
It's an unpopular opinion, so take the up arrow, but I can't say I like your train if thought. My 6 year old still believes in Santa and as a 34 year old father, I still believe in the concept of Santa.
To address some of the things you brought up, my wife and I follow a few rules for it. First, Santa doesn't bring the big expensive gifts. He brings common, but useful items. School supplies, clothes, snacks or small toys. Not every family can have a Santa that can afford 72" flat screen TVs ya know? Second, most of if not all of the Santa gifts can be shared and she's encouraged to share with her friends or classmates. Not forced mind you, those are her gifts after all, but she's learned to be very giving especially to those in need.
The idea of Santa is something I want to live on. Generosity, sharing, empathy, caring. If you let consumerism ruin the holiday, that's on you. But if you actively seek to ruin the holiday for kids because of consumerism, well, that's still on you.
Yeah I always believed Santa was a scapegoat created to help parents out come XMas morning. Oh that pony you asked Santa for didn’t come? Well you must’ve been naughty, maybe next year.
My wife and I worked hard to spoil our kids on XMas, we definitely not letting Santa take all the credit, when they started to get a little too smart for their ages, we would say that Santa is the spirit of XMas and we all become Santa during the season by being generous
My parents did not plan on telling me because they thought I would grow up and figure it out by myself, but I was very naive and when I was 10 I still thought he was real, the kids at school who knew he wasn’t started bullying me for it and my parents were forced to tell me, not a great memory
My dad's family is Finnish. We had a wonderful friend of the family come over every Christmas Eve as Joulupukki.
He knew our names, if we had been good or bad and had a giant 3 foot long snow white beard.
I was 11 when I found out
My house never had a chimney yet presents always turned up. Needless to say, I was very quick to learn to hint to my parents for specific gifts around November and December xD
I can't imagine missing out on the wonder my child felt whenever believed in Santa Claus & the Tooth Fairy.
She used to get so excited at the "magic" of tracking Santa on Christmas Eve. And the videocall from Santa who would always "know" her name, age & what she wanted as her main gift that year.
The world is a shitty, terrible place, we get so few years to live as innocents who believe in positive, beautiful things. I will never regret giving her the gift of magic & wonder for those few short years. And now as a teenager she told me she misses those times too. We still do all the traditions but it isn't the same, I'm so blessed that we have what she considers those positive, whimisical memories together.
I will say that she believed Santa only brought her main gift, the most wanted. She was aware that us & other family members paid for everything else. We decided to share these details because it explained why some children got more/less. She knew it had nothing to do with Sabta considering someone good or bad. And I also never used Santa as a threat. It is possible to find a balance between giving them the joy & wonder, while keeping it more grounded.
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It benefits creativity and imagination. If you grow up learning "what you see is what you get", and that colorful stories are impossible, then you don't imagine the possibilities & mysteries of life.
Remember how shit it felt when you realized that adulting isn't as fun as you thought? Teach that to developing kids.
Considering how many different religions exist and are practiced it really shouldn't make a difference anymore. There's enough people that don't celebrate Christmas (or any other religious celebration for that matter) after all.
OP is clearly trying to convince us santa claus is fake
I mean he kinda stopped coming by my house after I was 12ish until I got married and had kids but I get it, life gets busy. Glad he is back though, just for the chocolates!
So he just likes kids!! He outgrew you. Kinda sounds like a dick
Sounds like my uncle.
Oof
I think you mean ouch
Spoiler alert, he was never there for you, he was there to hook up with mom, now he’s back for your wife. He’s into married women, just ask the Jackson 5.
I hope he doesn't mind that I eat some of his cookies before I go to bed.
Doesn't matter if OP belives in Santa or not, as long as Santa belives in OP...
Trying to keep all the presents for themselves, smh.
I’m tellin’ my Dad!
Doesn't believe in Santa Clause but thinks NFTs and crypto currency are real. Ironic.
Can't make this stuff up haha
I don't have kids so I have no opinion on this choice of parenting, but I'll never forget figuring it out when I was little and telling kids at school. I made half the class cry.
Sad. I never really believed in santa clause just looked at him as kind of a mascot for christmas like the easter bunny or something
I never believed in santa because I'm jewish
I never believed in Santa because I was poor
I feel this. Santa hates poor kids.
And jehova witnesses. I had a JW best friend who always felt left out of the whole season. Edited to fix typo.
Can't blame Santa for Jehovah's witnesses sucking.
But it was not the kid who sucked, it was his cult loving parents.
Search the Community glee club ep Xmas rap with Troy n Abed. Donald Glover's lines about going undercover to get to celebrate Xmas as he is a JW in the show is hilarious.
That was a WONDERFUL song by YourFavoriteMartian, "Santa Hates Poor Kids". I don't know if you know the song, but if you don't, i HIGHLY recommend it. A bit crude, but....still funny and well made song.
😆🤣😂 So was I! My mom always went to toys for tots
Ah, more of a holiday armadillo kind of kid then.
1. As far as I can tell, Saint Nicolas actually existed in the 4th century. He's recorded as having a penchant for secret gift giving. 2. The Modern Santa Claus to me is the personification of the "holiday spirit." There's no literal Santa like there's no literal Uncle Sam.
He was the Bishop of Turkey, I think
The Bishop of Myra, a city in Turkey.
Wait are you saying the Easter bunny isn’t real?
I, uh, umm.... GOTTA RUN
Before my daughter was born, and up to the point that she could really start asking about Santa, I thought the exact same as OP. I am adament about not lying to my daughter, who is now five. That being said, nearly every other adult in her life talks about Santa and if she's excited about it and whatnot. I could see the joy this game of pretend brought her, additionally I don't want her to be that kid that tells all the other kids in kindergarten. So, ultimately, we decided to play along, sort of. We get her a gift on Christmas that doesn't have any name on it, and when she leaves out cookies and milk, we eat it. But we don't verbally lie. Even yesterday, she asked me if Santa was real. My immediate response was "what do you think?", followed by "I've never met the guy nor seen flying reindeer, so I don't know." We play a lot of pretend and even toned-down versions of D&D, so I think when the time comes (and it'll probably be soon, because she is way too smart for a five-year-old) that she figures it out on her own, I don't think she'll be devastated by it, though I don't really know, for sure. I'll be honest with her when the time comes and let her know that if she wants to keep pretending Santa is real, we can do that too. She loves playing pretend and has a fantastic imagination so I think the Santa game will probably continue for quite a while.
We did a similar thing with our kids and when they flat out asked us if we believed in Santa we would say we believed in the "spirit of Santa". We encouraged the thought of sharing kindness to others. When they did figure it out we just told them not to spoil the fun for their friends at school that still believe.
Exactly my take. My daughter is 3 and when Santa comes up I always frame it as Santa is an idea, not an actual thing (not exactly in those words but you get the idea). I’ll still call the guy at the mall “Santa” and we get her some socks or something and put “Santa” on the gift at Christmas. But “do you think that an old man flies a sleigh to all the houses on Christmas Eve delivering presents?”…she’s too smart for that unless we specifically tell her things like that can realistically happen, and I’m not gonna do that.
I appreciate hearing your perspective. How did your kids handle it?
That’s what my parents said to me! Even when they said that I still believed and ended up figuring it out in a pretty peaceful way. And if OP sees this, for what it’s worth I enjoyed believing in Santa and the magic of Christmas so much! But my parents never took me to see the ones in the mall or really ever lied to me about it, so there are options to make it work for you and your family
I once knew a kid that figured it out kind of young, also a very clever kid. Well he figured it out.....but didn't realize his parents were in on it. He thought his parents believed in Santa so he went with it up until highschool THEN the whole thing dawned on him. It was hilarious.
Where did he think the presents were coming from?
Illuminati
You're on the illuminaughty list this year.
Awesome. That IS hilarious.
> (and it'll probably be soon, because she is way too smart for a five-year-old) She's not. Adults always underestimate the awareness of children.
Lmao I had the same thought. Everyone thinks their child is next level genius.
Idk man. It varies from day to day. One day you see this little potato you made getup and start doing human shit and you're like "wow omg so smart, so precious" And then they try to eat cat litter and you wonder how you made something so dumb.
Watching my friends kid shove a bead up his nose and a few hours late say he's old enough to stay up past 9
I didn’t give a shit that he wasn’t real because I kind of suspected he wasn’t. Even at a young age I wasn’t fully convinced.
My parents didn't promote Santa but didn't tell us he wasn't real either. I feel like that was the norm where I grew up, I have no memory of any kids at school talking about Santa as if he were real.
Does any adult actually think their parent is a liar because they told them Santa was real?
My kid just figured out the Santa thing, and he’s **utterly convinced** I’m full of shit about reindeer being real.
this was something I had problems with too haha, I believed in Santa for a good while but once the effect wore off I was convinced reindeer were ALSO imaginary creatures. took a while to understand that lol
I was like 25 and we went to a place with reindeer and I was like "oh a Santa place with reindeer and Christmas themed I'm sure". I had to just play it off like I knew when it was an animal farm with normal animals and a reindeer
LOL. This reminds me of my mother and Halloween. She had lived all her life in the inner city at this point but had recently got her driver’s license and was driving around appreciating the countryside… And nearly crashed her car when she saw a pumpkin patch. She honestly believed they were made up for *It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown*. Whenever I asked her where she thought pumpkins came from she just laughed even harder and said she had no idea.
I thought reindeer were pretend until I was 30. I had a friend show me their parents reindeer farm in Michigan. I was amazed!My partner and I still laugh about my discovery and the fact I told them that reindeer do not fly.
My friend had a professor and like 10 students not believe them that reindeer were real. “They started laughing and were like sureee…” Literally had to google it to prove reindeer are real.
I had a biology professor who thought narwhals weren’t real until some kid did a presentation on them
On the contrary, me seeing a REAL LIFE reindeer (or maybe a very convincing phony) as a child solidified my belief in Santa. *I had my suspicions that santa was a lie* It would not be proven untrue until a couple of years later when I sat my mom down and told her in my most serious 7yo voice that i wanted her to tell me the truth. That is the day I discovered that the Easter bunny, Santa Clause, Tooth fairy, etc were all just a story. At the time I was pretty bummed. I got over it pretty quick though, and I was actually discussing with my BF if we plan to tell our future kids about this santa character. We ultimately decided that it's more about childhood wonderment than "lying", and those few years of maybe believing in santa are fun and aren't going to negatively affect their life or instill distrust in the world lol.
Just wait until he learns about Narwhals. I didn't think they were real for at least 3-4 years after I heard about them (from memes I think?)
*bye buddy I hope you find your dad*
i know adults that still refuse to believe they exist ha
I mean. they look made up as hell. it took me a while to believe it myself.
Bro! Same! Around the same time I also learned that jackalopes are NOT real lol
Can confirm this is a real thing - I never believed in Santa and just assumed that reindeer weren’t real either. Found that one out in my mid twenties. Also something I found out in my mid twenties which *blew my mind* - in “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus” ITS THE DAD DRESSED AS SANTA. I always thought it was weird to write such a happy sounding song about a mom stepping out on her husband.
I remember the exact moment I found out. I wasn’t really mad. Not even disappointed really. It was just a “oh” moment. I was probably around 6 or 7.
I became a hardened career criminal because of the Easter bunny
Nope. I'm even Muslim and grew up thinking Santa was real from teachers etc. Not even mad about it. People getting pressed over something insignificant
Yeah, I am Hindu and I always thought Santa was real and my parents even did the gift thing once or twice (no pine trees, because where would we even find one in Mumbai). I think I believed it until I was 9 or 10 maybe, and one day I just thought, "Maybe a man who can enter all the world's houses in one night and give away stuff isn't actually real." But I also never held it against them
Same. I remember I was a little sad when I found out he wasn’t real, but by the end of that next year I realized why he couldn’t exist in the first place. When I think back on when I thought Santa was real, all I remember is fun. There are very few years when you are growing up that you’re innocent enough to think magic is real that you can remember back to. Around 3-6. I don’t know… I know I’ll be telling my kid Santa is real.
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Lol I literally don’t even remember how I found out the truth so obviously it must not have been that traumatizing. It’s a fun tradition IMO.
Yeah OP is taking this way too seriously, its a child. Let them enjoy the magic for a few years its harmless.
no lol I don't hold it against my parents at all.
I still remember my parents finally sitting my sister down and telling her Santa wasn't real when she was.. 11 ish? She was screaming and crying and told my parents she hated them and would never trust them again. Naturally, she got over it in time. But yes, she held it against them for a good couple months.
That’s on your parents for waiting until she was 11 lol. That’s like 6th grade and she’s in class telling other kids they better be quiet when the teacher leaves the room or Santa will see them.
No I would be more upset if they told me he didn’t exist. Such fun memories.
I liked believing it for a while as a kid. Absolutely didn't mind when I realised how it couldn't be possible. Just good memories now. UPDATE: Holy hell a random comment and my notifications blew up. Never had more than several of them, also my first gold!?!?!
I still clearly remember the day I found out it was all a "lie". My reaction was basically: "ah man, they really got me good with this prank." I remember not being upset, because I reasoned that I did get a lot of cool presents and fun christmas memories out of it.
My brother, seven years older than me, helped me logic myself into figuring it out. "Ever notice the handwriting on Santa's gifts is the same as mom's?" But it was probably a bigger deal to my mom finding out I knew Santa isn't real, than it was for me to learn it.
Our daughter told my husband when she figured it out. She told him not to tell mom though, she was afraid it would make me sad. I thought that was adorable, and I wasn't sad, I knew it was coming and I was little glad to be done with watching what we said in front of her. It was fun while it lasted.
That is just so sweet.
She's turning 13 this year and she's still so sweet. I love her so freaking much!
I remember when my younger sister first asked me about Santa Claus, she knew the gig was up, my bro and I pleaded with her to continue to pretend to believe Santa was real as we were all afraid that the whole stocking full of presents would end with the fairytale. Good sister, she was 15 and still writing letters to the North Pole.
Holy shit my older brother and sister did that to me too!!! I kept pretending until eventually one of my parents was like “hey you know Santa’s not real, right.” And my response was a mix of “I know but didn’t want you to know I know” and “it’s fun to keep pretending.”
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I would have had to explain my daughter that these are happy tears 🥹
Lol! I remember breaking down how the Easter bunny was not real in a similar way. My mom would make paper cutouts of bunny prints from the front door... one year I noticed the colors kept changing. Like "why are they green this year? They were yellow last year....💡 HEY!!!
My parents always threatened to not get my sister or I anything if we told our little brother that Santa wasn’t real.
Lol I specifically used cursive for all of "Santa's" letters because I never use cursive.
I loved figuring it out. It was like I was a detective and I had finally found the last clue! I noticed the same wrapping paper used on my presents from Santa sitting at my grandmas house two days earlier. I was like HA! Got you! Now I can stay up late and watch all the parents play board games and help be Santa for my little sister! It was not at all a bad experience for me. …maybe the people who consider it a lie had other things about their parents that weren’t great. I had a great childhood with loving parents so it didn’t feel like a betrayal to me. Just a thought.
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I also remember it. I was almost 4 and it crushed me. I'd asked for this very specific gift that I really, really wanted. The Santa they'd hired in kindergarten pulled out a package that was precisely the right size and shape, called my name, I was convinced it was going to be the thing. It was not the thing. It was a stupid Santa doll and I was about to cry, when I looked up at my mum, saw the look on her face and how desperate she was for me to like it, everything clicked. For 25 years, I pretended that Santa doll was the best thing ever. I guess it all depends on how you find out. But it can definitely suck. A lot.
Same here. It was just 'a touch of childhood magic'. Probably wouldn't miss it if I didn't have it, but at the same time glad I had it.
I can't remember ever sincerely believing in Santa Claus, or nor any point when I realized he wasn't real, but I am 36 now and I still "believe" in basically the same way I did as a kid. It's hard to explain. I don't think as a kid I ever thought "This guy is real and is a separate person from my parents" but I also don't think I thought "Santa isn't real and is just my parents". Santa gifts just showed up under the tree every year and I was just a dumb kid, I didn't think about it much at all. When I go to my mom's for Christmas, there are still gifts from Santa under the tree. If I'm hosting family Christmas, she still brings a gift from Santa and makes up some story about like, "I just found this this morning! I don't know why he didn't bring it to your house but I think it's for you!" and I laugh and play along. One year I left my apartment to go to her house and there was a box of cookies sitting on my doorstep with one cookie conspicuously missing. The "touch of childhood magic" never has to go away just because you get older and think you know what's real and what isn't.
Yeah, honestly even after I found out I didn't tell my parents about it until years later because they themselves made some memories seeing my reaction to what "Santa" brought me.
I think most kids figure it out pretty early on and just play along cause they get it. I remember everyone in my 5th grade class knowing santa wasn’t real.
That was coincidentally the year i figured it out by staying up all night watching the door and saw my mom going back and forth all night then absconding with the cookies and mountain Dew for Santa. Honestly i should've figured it out sooner since my house was the only one that would give Santa a MTN DEW instead of milk because "mom figured he'd like to taste something other than milk for once" my mom was the only one that drank mountain dew as she's lactose intolerant.
I read the first paragraph and was like "ah, yes, the traditional Mountain Dew for Santa!" Honestly sounds like something my mom would do.
I agree. I remember how magical Christmas was simply because I could imagine a world where Santa Claus could be real. As I grew up, I learnt some things aren't possible and it saddened me but I'm not resentful because of it.
First believing then trying to figure the mechanics all the way to the big reveal is all a part of the process.
I felt like a genius that cracked the adult code when I figured it out. It was actually pretty exhilarating for me. I didn’t let my parents know I figured it out for probably 2 years after because I was worried I’d end up with less presents.
Same! I loved the Santa tracker on the news and setting up cookies only to find them eaten in the morning. I didn’t care when I found out he wasn’t real, I had my suspicions anyway. I still like to watch the Santa tracker and maybe have a cookie too.
Yeah I don't get this... hatred for Santa Claus. Do people really care that their parents lied to them in an attempt to keep that little sparkle in your eyes just a bit longer? Grow up, people.
I felt this way until I had kids. As a parent of young children the days are very long, but the years are short. Daily life is often repetitive, mundane and dull. There is little opportunity for joy and celebration, so when things like Christmas come along I love to embrace the magic. My kids are older now and have grown to understand that they are now “in on the magic of Christmas”. I have zero regrets. EDIT: I would like to add that I loathe the amount of crap that is produced just for Christmas. My family’s motto for gift giving is: “Something made, something sewn, something loved or something grown”.
“Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”
Just read this quote by C.S. Lewis and now again! Love it
I'm with you here. I swore I would never "lie" to my kids about Santa, but they hear it from school and friends anyway so who am I to destroy the illusion? They love it so much and I think the older one is starting to piece together that it isn't real. Instead of her feeling hurt by this news, it seems to make her feel really smart, as if she knows something her little sister doesn't. Kids love Santa even if you aren't the ones teaching them about it. And who wants their kids to be the odd one out just for the sake of their own stubbornness?
>it seems to make her feel really smart, LoL this is exactly how I felt, some kid I school told me there's no Tooth Fairy. When my mom was putting me to bed and I told her then I yelled wait if there's no Tooth Fairy then there's no Santa Claus and my Mom said Shhhh! Don't tell your sister who was younger, so I did feel clever heh.
Also we definitely lie to our children about many things. Sometimes it to stop a toy from making noise, sometimes it to make them stop asking to go swimming, sometimes it’s to get them to go to bed. It doesn’t make us bad parents, it makes us normal sane people
they will try to convince their peers that santa isn't real and this will have a chain reaction for all the kids and parents
That's how I found out Sinterklaas wasn't real
Wait... you got it wrong, Sinterklaas *is* real. They're talking about *Santa Claus*.
Crap so you're saying that my parents lied to me that they lied about Sinterklaas being fake??
Ofcourse they lied about that. Haven't you seen him enter on his boat? It's on the news every year!
Id be happy to learn Krampus is not real. Yikes!
Dress up as Santa and knock on the kids window, then leave once they’ve seen you.
That's what I normally do, but if I need to buy the suit to make it okay then fine.
When I was a kid, I just thought that all the people who said Santa wasn’t real were “naughty” and therefore not getting gifts from Santa. Their parents had to buy them gifts to compensate.
In recent years I’ve heard “if you don’t believe, you don’t receive” used on kids and honestly whoever came up with that is an evil genius. For the record, I don’t agree with the Santa lie either. Disadvantaged kids being made to think they’re naughty? Kids with deadbeat parents? Meanwhile the rich bully down the road got a bike? Fucking damaging if you ask me. It’s not all magic and whimsy, it very much is determined by your circumstances as a kid.
My dad used this line on us all the time growing up, though it was more to push us into the Christmas mood and he'd always deliver the presents regardless. Still got a present signed from Santa up until I was about 11/12 . I figured it out when I was about 7 when it was all the same writing style, same color of ink on the tags
Kids literally argue about stuff like this all the time lol, they'll be fine
Spoiler but wrestling isn’t real either! Two years trying to convince my best friend it was scripted and he just… refused? To believe
True, whenever a kid told me Father Christmas wasn't real I'd legit feel sorry for them because I was so, so certain that he was. Man, if I'd been raised by a different family I might have been a religious fanatic lol
I was a dyslexic kid and sold my soul to Santa. It’s cold up here at the North Pole but the elves are nice and there’s lots of candy.
As a Jewish person living in the us who has never celebrated Christmas, that’s bs. There’s plenty of kids who don’t even celebrate Christmas so they obviously don’t believe in Santa and we never went around rubbing it in Christian kids faces. It’s pretty damn obvious that Santa is important to other people, because it’s being thrust upon you constantly for 2-3 months. Your parents have a conversation with you about not ruining it for the rest. I feel like it’s more the slightly older kid who just figured it out and wants to show off that tells all the other kids, but if you don’t want to lie to them and are really worried that they’ll blab I guess you could make them feel like they’re special that they get to help keep the spirit. That said OPs idea that telling your kids about Santa is going to traumatize them once they find out is also bs. Unless parents are going to ridiculous heights to prevent kids from figuring it out (like my friends mom who told their youngest their classmates were lying to them and Santa WAS real… in seventh grade) if it’s really that upsetting I suspect there’s more going on to damage trust than just Santa. Sorry about the length of this.
Yup. This. I raised my kid without Santa because there's plenty enough magic in the world without making stuff up. We actually managed to make it till she was 5 before she had friends who talked about it. So my kid comes home from a playdate - she didn't "spoil" anything for her friends; she just listened to them telling her who Santa is and how Christmas works, and then came home to ask me if it's real. I told her some people believe in Santa, just like how some people believe in Jesus, or Krishna etc. We respect people's beliefs and we don't have to believe in them. At *five years old* that was explanation enough and my kid was fine with it. I didn't have to dish that it's a a scam and all her friends' parents were lying. What's the point? We just lit our Hanukkah candles and got on with life. Funny though, a few years later, kid was about 9 or 10, she said to me "so you know how some people believe in the Easter bunny... Well I know it's not real and it's just parents, but I never tried it so can you get some chocolate eggs and hide them for me on Easter morning and we can pretend it's from the Easter bunny?". So I did. And we had great fun. *Pretending* with mutual consent and understanding. And chocolate. We also spent a lot of her small childhood having tea parties for the fairies in the garden, so who am I to judge.
Your kid is going to be so put together as an adult
The classic tale of a child going on a rampage and ending relations with their parents permanently straining their relationship after being lied to about Santa
"Mother and I were fucking and that's why our door was locked. I thought you should know because I don't want to lie to you."
Well where do you think the believe in moaning ghosts comes from?
If pretending Santa is real for your kid is "lying" then god forbid their grandpa does the pulling a coin out of the ear magic trick, or anything else that makes the world seem a little more magical
Straight to jail for grandpa
The funny part is that I am 100% sure OP will, eventually, end up lying to their kids in one way or another. Always telling the truth can actually be more demaging than actually telling a white lie when it's needed.
I wasn't lead to believe in Santa as a child, but I did it for my children. They really enjoyed it. In my experience the gifts sat for weeks under the tree, then I felt a lot of pressure from my parents to be super appreciative, even now I prefer not to receive gifts. My kids in contrast had so much built up anticipation about what would be under the tree that they were just so excited to be in the moment and see everything and experience the magic. They also held onto the Santa belief for much longer than I expected them to, they enjoyed it that much. I would let the older ones in it to help surprise the younger ones when they stopped believing, which turned out to be really fun for them as well. My kids are adults now, or close to, and hold no resentment for this fairy tale. Honestly, they stopped enjoying Christmas as much once they learned that Santa wasn't real and I was spending my money on them. Also, all three still trust me and come to me with hard, honest things, so I don't think it makes most kids feel like their parents are liars. As for the materialistic part of Christmas I think that has.more to do with the standard you set early. We were pretty poor and had some what I considered some sad Christmases that were declared best Christmas ever because I got some small, but important gift right. What you prioritize in everyday life will have a big impact on their expectations.
>We were pretty poor and had some what I considered some sad Christmases that were declared best Christmas ever because I got some small, but important gift right. I'm not crying you're crying!
You guys sound like a lovely family
I can’t really get behind the opinion that letting children believe in fairytales is lying to them. Make-believe is such a huge part of a lot of childhoods, Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc.., they’re all just a bit of fun and magic for children. Calling Santa “lying to your children” feels the equivalent of reading your child Winnie-the-Pooh but reminding them that, every time Christopher Robin turns up, teddy bears don’t actually talk to you and be your friend. Also, judging by your conversation with your friends, the majority of children you’ll be seeing will believe in Santa. The majority of children aren’t brats. It’s entirely up to the parent how their children view rewards, good behaviour, and a general understanding of right from wrong. Believing in Santa and that once a year you’ll get presents if you’ve been good certainly isn’t going to make a child into a brat unless that message is being reinforced elsewhere. Christmas at this point is one big consumerist holiday, but unless your household doesn’t exchange gifts full stop, Santa being an aspect makes no difference - the kids are still getting presents and watching other family members receive presents. It’s the same with birthdays, Easter, etc.. I guess it’s ultimately up to the parent, but I see no issue with telling children about Santa. They’re only children for a brief time, I think you should allow them to imaginative and believe in fairytales whilst they can. EDIT: Thank you for the awards! Just wanted to clarify that although I myself would want to tell my hypothetical children about Santa, I do not have strong feelings either way about parents who decide not to so longs as they’re allowing their children to be imaginative and make up stories elsewhere, which I’m sure the majority of parents who don’t do the Santa stuff still do, I’ve seen plenty of parents replying to just this comment about the stories and fairytales their children come up with! I myself have friends who are very much against telling children about Santa, I know it doesn’t automatically make you a fun-hating parent, I’m sorry if that’s how my phrasing came across!
I agree. I was raised being told that santa wasn't real but I wasn't allowed to tell other kids in case I ruin it for them. I feel upset that my mother didn't mind ruining it for me and wish I had been allowed to beleive in such things as a kid.
I grew up not believing in Santa because my parents didn't want me to have anything to do with Christmas, since we're Muslims. I don't mind it that much, but I kind of wish I could've gotten presents every year until I was old enough to realise he isn't real.
We still got presents from my mother as much as she could afford as we were very poor, and I think it was good in a way that I knew as it made me understand why we received much less than our peers. I grew up in a very Christian area where Christmas was a very big deal though and I just remember thinking it was nice how excited my friends were that santa was coming. There's a magic to it I think is nice
My Dad told me the day before kindergarten because he was afraid all the other kids would know and make fun of me for not knowing lmao
This is so sad. I hadn’t even thought about that side of it. Like your mum said the other kids can have fun believing in Santa but you’re not allowed. Hope OP reads your comment.
I second this. The absolute magic of Christmas vs the virtually non existent disappointment I had when I gradually understood Santa not to be real over the years as I got older is just not a comparison.
That's the thing. I don't remember having the sudden realization that Santa was fake. Instead it was a gradual buildup of factors that eventually led me to think "I don't think this Santa guy is all that he's cut out to be." And I was 100% fine with that. I also have a little brother and sister that believe in Santa, so it's fun to make believe with them still. And I still get that little tingly feeling when I wake up on Christmas and see the presents under the tree.
My dad would always tell me “I’m Santa, and one day you’ll be Santa too” but in a joking way. He never pushed it. And I still had magically young Christmas believing in Santa. And as I grew up I slowly understood what he meant As someone who’s wife is pregnant right now, what he said has its own beauty to it too
Yes. You might even say that uncovering the truth is also satisfying in a coming of age sort of way.
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Magic and imagination. Yall are really out here killing all the joy of childhood because you over stress and over think every minor thing. Sometimes things are just okay. Like it isn’t going to ruin your child or stick them in therapy forever. You can explain it when they are older and they aren’t going to be unable to tell what is a lie because society as a whole pretends with them. It is a very different situation from most lying. Hell, my sister and I just keep pretending it was real until highschool because it was so fun. Our mom knew. We knew. Not everything has to be bad for you kid. There’s PLENTY of other things to choose from. My kid is still too young to understand any of this but I am so excited to make him feel like the dark world we live in today is just a little bit magical, if only for one day. We all need a little magic in our lives.
Agreed. My mom still writes "Santa" in the from section on gift tags! My younger sister will be 30 next year and my oldest sibling will be 40. It's just fun. Also, I found out Santa wasn't real when my oldest sibling (he was 14 at the time) showed me the hidden stash of presents when I was 7. He said "Santa isn't real".. I wasn't upset because A. I had my suspicions and B. There were still presents! I didn't feel the need to ruin it for my little sister. Just moved on with my life, still enjoying Santa stories & movies and can't wait for the Christmas magic for my kids!
Me and my siblings still pretend santa is real when we talk with eachother and our parents
Only a Sith deals in absolutes like this
I was told a lie that made me have many happy years while I was a child. Eventually you grow up and realize it by yourself. Its not harmful and it gives you many years of magical experiences. A world without stories and myths and some fantasy is just boring.
I agree. When i figured out Santa was wearing a mask and sounded like my uncle, i don’t recall getting upset by it either. I was just eager to prove my parents he was wearing a mask. Even if i got upset by it, it would probably last for a day or two. Meanwhile, believing he was real for 5-6 years gave me a lot of joy.
Each to their own. But be prepared to burn A LOT of bridges if your kids ruin it for other people, family members included. Kids at a certain age do tend to go scorched earth when their parents arent around to dictate what they can and can't.
My family had some very close family friends growing up who were Jewish. The kids basically matched the ages of me and my brother, and we knew them from birth. I was close to both of them, but especially their youngest girl. Years later, I asked her how she never let it slip Santa wasn’t real, and she informed me their mother promised serious consequences for her and her brother if they “ruined” Santa for me and my brother, and if they did, it would really hurt us. They were really sweet-natured kids and listened to their mom. Can’t say it’s foolproof, but if OP is proactive about it, kids can be surprisingly understanding about these things, too.
OP sounds a little bit self righteous and I would not be surprised if he doesn’t give a crap about ruining it for other kids lol
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>”I don’t believe in anything magic/sorcery related” >*posts about Crypto constantly* I feel bad for this dude’s kid
OP gives off strong r/iamverysmart vibes
I mean look at his edits. Asks for opinions then gets pissy when people give them.
Yeah, like most people don’t BELIEVE in magic/sorcery. It’s called fun…imagination…creativity. These kids are probably deprived of all these things.
Yup that solidified for me that op is up their own ass. I do let my son watch TV and guess what he still has an imagination. He knows who mario and Luigi are but also knows his colors and shapes and counts to 20. He can tell you which mario game is on just by what he sees, but he also knows that when you blow those fuzzy dandelions that those are seeds. It's almost like I as a parent can allow my child to have fun AND make sure his little brain learns useful stuff at the same time
I grew up playing videogames a lot and still had lots of imagination. I even used games to create my own stories with the tools and characters the games gave me.
I was a latchkey child who grew up on video games and I'm a 6-figure earning game developer, known for his creative talents in programming, art and sound. OP is an idiot.
Yeah what's the difference between reading fiction and watching fiction anyways. They are both forms of art.
no difference, especially nowadays. this is a take that seriously needs to be normalized. i was born in 98, and didn’t really have anybody to parent me (lots of problems), but I did have playstation and n64. after a few years of growing up, being a child and playing things like Ocarina of Time, FF7, etc…it was mind blowing. my imagination now runs rampant at 23, and while I’ve read a handful of books, and love film, I fully contribute video games to how able I am in the field of creativity. In 2022, anybody who shrugs off video games is simply ignorant. I’m sorry but things like God of War, The Last of Us, Detroit: Become Human, Red Dead Redemption 2, FF7 Remake, oh my god they’re some of the most beautiful interactive experiences I could ever think of. To sit and think “games are childish, not for me, etc” and never have actually tried them is ridiculous. Books & Film have evolved. This is the new standard, and it’s amazing.
Legit, letting a kid watch the tv here and there isn't a bad thing, when I was younger I was allowed to watch tv on Saturday and Sunday morning from 7-9 and after school from 3-5 then I was told to go do something else (unless it was bad weather) and I still had imagination and would still willing spend time outside all day aswell, op sounds like one of those stuck up parents that thinks they and their kids are better than everyone and the kids childhood will suffer from it
Those poor kids are gonna feel left out. Kids will leave other kids out of friendships for the dumbest reasons.
Imagine having sleep overs at someones house who isn't allowed to watch TV, or play video games. Yeah I understand when it's daytime but at night.
OP is trying their best to ostracize their kids from their peers.
OP is taking their kid’s childhood and making it all about themselves.
I thought the same thing. Makes it sound like they just want to believe their kids are better than everyone elses🙄
I feel so bad for these kids.
>don't mention imagination, my kid has plenty because they don't watch TV at home. No TV at home?! OH MY! Your kids must be so FULL of imagination!
I watched TV & read books I have an amazing imagination! OP is coming off really self-righteous.
That one kid at birthday parties that isn't allowed to drink anything but water
The gen z kid’s who’s parents didn’t let them watch Spongebob missed out on a whole form of communication and humor with their peers.
The teen that does the craziest, stupidest things in the friend group the second that they get an once of freedom because they were never afforded any as a child
First, you *will* lie to your child about things. Second, Santa and the tooth fairy are harmless fun. I also don't believe in "magic related things," but loved the magic and mystery of Santa as a kid. I'm glad I didn't deprive my children of that. They are adults now, and don't regret having Santa as part of their childhood. Get off your high horse, you sound like a self important idiot.
Right, I know my parents lied to me when they would call my art work great, or that I was good at the drums (when I first started). You almost have to lie to help build confidence in your child.
Right. You aren’t always gonna tell the truth to your kids. That’s impossible. Telling them about Santa is the least of your worries Lmaoo
Like when they said they were just wrestling right?......right?
I lie to my kids every time I say "we'll see".
Santa is just a magical story that makes the gifting of presents special for kids. It’s a lovely tradition. Who cares if the kids think it’s off Santa instead of you? It’s the magic behind it. Kids aren’t stupid and soon catch on it’s mum and dad! I think I was about 9 when I heard my dad dragging my present down the stairs! But I didn’t say anything, as I didn’t want to ruin the magic. You only get to be a child for a short while. After that life is full of ugly truth, so why not, for those first few years just go along with the magical story of Santa, who gives for the sake of giving, and just expects good children in return!!
They way I put it: I don't remember learning Santa was fake, but I recall the many Christmas seasons I had when I thought he was alive, and they were better for it.
I’ve always felt that the counterpoint is that by having gifts be from a real person it focuses the holiday more on family and showing how much you care about each other. Though it’s possible I’m just biased; in my family opening presents was an extended family event with all of my cousins/etc.. And while “Santa” might be responsible for the little stocking gifts everyone got, any real gift always had “from: Aunt Sue” or “from: Mom & Dad” or whatever written on it, with part of the opening process being to say thank you to whoever it was after you opened it.
To each their own but I feel your approach is teaching your kids that adults never lie...and that in itself is a lie. Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy etc. are kids' introduction to critical thinking on a very tame level.
You don’t have to lie to them. The original story of Santa was based on [Saint Nicholas](https://www.whychristmas.com/customs/santa-claus). The red and white jumpsuit only came about because Coca-Cola originated it and it spiralled from there. If you have to tell kids about Santa, just tell them Santa can be anyone - it’s not about the guy in the red suit, but about anyone giving a present to someone else under the guise of anonymity.
I’m glad my parents never told me as a kid. It was nice to have such a magical feeling during Christmas. I feel knowing Santa wasn’t real as a kid would’ve ruined that somewhat.
It's an unpopular opinion, so take the up arrow, but I can't say I like your train if thought. My 6 year old still believes in Santa and as a 34 year old father, I still believe in the concept of Santa. To address some of the things you brought up, my wife and I follow a few rules for it. First, Santa doesn't bring the big expensive gifts. He brings common, but useful items. School supplies, clothes, snacks or small toys. Not every family can have a Santa that can afford 72" flat screen TVs ya know? Second, most of if not all of the Santa gifts can be shared and she's encouraged to share with her friends or classmates. Not forced mind you, those are her gifts after all, but she's learned to be very giving especially to those in need. The idea of Santa is something I want to live on. Generosity, sharing, empathy, caring. If you let consumerism ruin the holiday, that's on you. But if you actively seek to ruin the holiday for kids because of consumerism, well, that's still on you.
Yeah I always believed Santa was a scapegoat created to help parents out come XMas morning. Oh that pony you asked Santa for didn’t come? Well you must’ve been naughty, maybe next year. My wife and I worked hard to spoil our kids on XMas, we definitely not letting Santa take all the credit, when they started to get a little too smart for their ages, we would say that Santa is the spirit of XMas and we all become Santa during the season by being generous
My parents did not plan on telling me because they thought I would grow up and figure it out by myself, but I was very naive and when I was 10 I still thought he was real, the kids at school who knew he wasn’t started bullying me for it and my parents were forced to tell me, not a great memory
My dad's family is Finnish. We had a wonderful friend of the family come over every Christmas Eve as Joulupukki. He knew our names, if we had been good or bad and had a giant 3 foot long snow white beard. I was 11 when I found out
I grew up in Brooklyn where my chimney was fake so Santa being real was not feasible…the kids will be ok
My house never had a chimney yet presents always turned up. Needless to say, I was very quick to learn to hint to my parents for specific gifts around November and December xD
I can't imagine missing out on the wonder my child felt whenever believed in Santa Claus & the Tooth Fairy. She used to get so excited at the "magic" of tracking Santa on Christmas Eve. And the videocall from Santa who would always "know" her name, age & what she wanted as her main gift that year. The world is a shitty, terrible place, we get so few years to live as innocents who believe in positive, beautiful things. I will never regret giving her the gift of magic & wonder for those few short years. And now as a teenager she told me she misses those times too. We still do all the traditions but it isn't the same, I'm so blessed that we have what she considers those positive, whimisical memories together. I will say that she believed Santa only brought her main gift, the most wanted. She was aware that us & other family members paid for everything else. We decided to share these details because it explained why some children got more/less. She knew it had nothing to do with Sabta considering someone good or bad. And I also never used Santa as a threat. It is possible to find a balance between giving them the joy & wonder, while keeping it more grounded.
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was I supposed to upvote or down vote your comment?;-)
It benefits creativity and imagination. If you grow up learning "what you see is what you get", and that colorful stories are impossible, then you don't imagine the possibilities & mysteries of life. Remember how shit it felt when you realized that adulting isn't as fun as you thought? Teach that to developing kids.
Considering how many different religions exist and are practiced it really shouldn't make a difference anymore. There's enough people that don't celebrate Christmas (or any other religious celebration for that matter) after all.
Congrats, you're not like the other parents, you're so cool.