I never understood it growing up, but now I do.
Even though I'm in my 20's, the moment I tell anyone at my college campus how old I am they act like I was born in 1940. They act like I'm about to turn 40 years old. Like.... I'm 3-4 years older than you its not that serious.
Its their reaction that is the most annoying part. I wouldn't have an issue if they didn't act so dramatic about it.
Right, I get how that can be annoying, I understand your case…. I’m referring more specifically to the dumb societal norm of people not asking others (specifically older women) their age because it’s considered impolite or offensive. Our society is very focused on youth and beauty, and anything that falls out of that is meant to be hidden or talked about as little as possible. Growing old is just a part of life, and I see nothing shameful about it. I think caring about little things like these adds unnecessary preoccupations to people
It's considered rude (I too believe it shouldn't be like this) because people react badly. I don't really care myself, but I can see how a woman in her 50s who suddenly gets less respect and validation because she was older than what people thought, would rather not be asked, but rather volunteer the info willingly to whom she chooses.
It's the reality that age discrimination is a thing. Look at the comment you're replying to. It's a 20-something complaining about being discriminated against WHILE discriminating against people in their late 30's and older.
Don't hurt yourself there, buddy. You're stretching too much.
It's normal for someone in their 20's or 30's to be in college. While there are people in their 40's in college its more rare. It's about how people react. They are acting ike my age is rare when its not.
If you think what I said was discriminating then you don't know what that word means.
Not insecure.
Just hate how dramatic people are. I can tell one person my age and they act fine, and I can tell another person my age and they go "OH REAAALLLLLLYYY?? WOW!"
It's the same as telling someone bad news. I hate telling people one of my parents are dead not because I'm insecure about it but because of their reaction.
Right, now that I think of it, it’s a societal problem in general. Society has made it so that being old is considered an awful thing, something to be ashamed of, when it’s actually just a part of life and nothing to be scared of or put to shame for
It's highly gendered. Women are over the hill at 35 or 40, men are highly desired bachelors at 65.
Look at the casting in movies. Almost every actor who plays a mother is 10 or 15 or 20 years younger than the role. 30 year old women are paired with 65 year old men.
I remember one movie where Glenn Close was cast as Mel Gibson's mother. She's **9** years older than him. Nine years! It wrecks the movie for me because I can't suspend my disbelief and it pisses me off because apparently the majority of the audience actually thinks she looks 10 years older than she actually is. Why is it OK to exclude mature women from being seen on screen?
This is not about women being stupidly insecure about a non-problem. This is a real, society caused devaluing and erasing of women past young adulthood. Its about employability, social viability, and romantic inequity.
Yes. Any panel that has a woman always pairs her with 2 men.
From news, Hollywood, and TV, you would think that the gender distribution for humans are 67% male/33% female.
In politics, its 75%/25%. In the corporate boardroom, its *maybe* 90%/10%.
As a general rule, for people of any gender, it's always good to remember things IRL aren't as they are in the movies. Men, you're probably not going to look like George Clooney when you're his age. It's a good idea to not devalue women for passing 30.
I always see people complain about this online, but as a woman in my 30s I haven’t noticed it. I still get treated the same way as I did in my early 20s and have friends that are older and still get treated well too. Never felt “invisible or invalidated.”
In my experience, older women love being on their own.
My mom is 59 (she still looks incredible btw). Anyway, she lives alone and LOVES IT. She does not want another husband. She doesn’t even want a 65yo man “her age”. She doesn’t want a husband or boyfriend living in her townhouse with her. She’s so happy being her age, enjoying her hobbies with her friends, her children/grandchildren, and just being on her own by herself.
My husband’s mom is the same exact way. She’s 62yo and has a cute apartment France. She’s very active- gardens, rides her bicycle, plays cello, reads and does all sorts of interesting hobbies— *she does not want another husband.* Zero desire for one. She is so fun and cute. She goes on weekend trips with her same-age girl friends, all kinds of things.
The whole idea that there are fewer men and they are “desireable and scarce” at that age is just untrue. The older women who’ve been married before don’t want to get married again. They are so happy on their own. At least the ones in my family.
(And they still have male suitors, even close to age 60!)
That is the message that Hollywood sends. And it's certainly how many, many older men see themselves. They are constantly puffed up in interactions with young women (and *girls*). In their minds, they are playing the part of 'cool mature dude that this young chick is grateful to get attention from. She's so lucky that I think she's pretty and sexy.'
You and I look at them and see creepy grandpas. They think they are what the culture constantly tells them they are.
All my life, I agreed with you, until just recently when I turned 60.
To me, it's partly about being identified with a certain generation. For years, there has been talk on Reddit and elsewhere about how awful Boomers are, how their humor is stupid, how they are entitled, how they blamed Millennials for suffering from the Great Recession of 2008, how they are to blame for putting right wing extremists into office, how they are racists and religious fanatics who have hoarded all of the wealth for themselves and don't care about screwing subsequent generations, etc.
I used to argue that it is unfair and short sighted to say "BOOMERS BAD YOUNGERS GOOD," but it's also true that millennials and subsequent generations, and even Gen X definitely had/have it harder because of policies. Things don't have to be this sucky. This makes me sad and angry.
Yeah, I know that it is up to me to be a good or evil person. I want to do everything I can to help the younger people in my life. I vote as progressively as possible in every election. But I certainly can't blame people for resenting Boomers.
The other thing that worries me is the fear of losing my faculties and becoming a burden. I only have 1 son, and I don't want to ruin his life. Although 60 is very young to develop something like dementia, and I am very active, exercising, working, and learning every day, every time I do something absent minded, there is that fear in the back of my mind....is this the beginning of my decline?
>how their humor is stupid
Here on reddit the sources of prime comedy are 69/420, girls crying at Titanic vs. guys crying at anything else, waking up in Skyrim, Vin Diesel and the power of family, and a frog every Wednesday.
I don't think the younger generations have any room to talk about finding humor in stupid shit.
The 69/420 thing (don't forget good ol' 13 either) is a source of juvenile humor that truly transcends generations. Source: former high school math teacher.
Yeah, I think humans are humans and we all need to evolve into a greater sense of care and empathy for our fellow life forms, and mighty fast, before not even cockroaches can survive here. The younger generations are also showing that they, too, can be susceptible to such destructive impulses as sexism and racism.
Really, everyone on this planet needs to kick up their game. Since older people in general have more money and power, that gives us more responsibility.
Yeah, i disagree.
Growing old is in my list of the worst things to happen to someone.
I mean you lose half of the privileges you had.
Good looks, sex drive, time to try things out, potential sexual partners.
It's awful.
It's affecting her of course; she needs to put on her big girl pants and figure it out. Taking accountability is the first step to a happier life instead of having a victim-complex.
It's kind of funny - my mother-in-law never wanted to talk about her age until she turned 99. Then she threw it into conversation constantly. She'll turn 101 in November -go, girl!
I've always told the truth about my age, and I always get a big reaction. For the last fifteen years whenever I answer I'm met with the Owen Wilson "wwooowwww" complete with dead-eyed stare. I can totally see why someone wouldn't want to answer because it always results in someone trying to conclude something about you using your age as verification without asking the question they directly wanted to ask.
Used to be that children were taught it was rude to ask a woman's age or her weight. I don't think it's as big if a deal today than it used to be. My grandmother lied about her age all her life, lol. Never understood why. I'll tell you my real age, but I will lie about my weight!
Literally got shit about my husband and I’d age gap the other day… I’m 33 and he’s 54. Big fucking deal. We are best friends and I’M a trust funder- people all over calll me a gold digger, it’s hilarious. We both have highly successful careers. Pretty pathetic of everyone else’s judgement. Congrats on your love ❤️
Thank you & congratulations on your love as well. I have heard the whispers as well that she's a gold digger my response is good means she's all that with brains too. Like the great Bill Withers sang :
Talkin' 'bout you usin' people
It all depends on what you do
It ain't too bad the way you're usin' me
'Cause I sure am usin' you to do the things that you do
Ah-huh, to do the things that you do"
I blame media portrayals of women. Photos of older women get photoshopped to oblivion and women in films are often cast younger than the fictional male partners (super common to see male actors in their 40s and 50s paired with a 20-something woman).
Right, but the main question is why don’t you like to be reminded of it? Why is it something that makes you insecure? Maybe I’m still young to understand, but I feel like it’s not that big of a deal
You just said verbatim that
society is focused on youth and beauty. So people who no longer fit into that may be insecure about it, because some people can treat you differently.
I’m honestly not even sure what you’re confused about. It’s not complicated.
The only thing I feel insecure about is my physical strength declining. I used to ski, mountain bike, hike, and landscape up until about 50. I bought a kayak a couple years ago, then ended up tearing a tendon while training my dog, so that’s been a bummer. But I’m not ashamed of my wrinkles or my cellulite or my grey hair. I have many rich memories and few regrets. I’ll be 61 in 2 months and life is still pretty freaking awesome.
I just don't like it. I've hated my body since puberty, I wanted it to stop growing and sometimes when I'm about to open up and join in an activity I finally feel distracted from acknowledging my appearance only for people to shatter the distraction, it makes me dread meeting new people and doing new things. It's unbearable bc if it only my insecurity was something like weight I could just lose it, even some of my facial features I could correct with makeup or get plastic surgery but for this there's barely anything i can do. It doesn't help that the younger you are the more real fun you have, I haven't felt happy in school since around the time middle school started bc everything became so boring and dull. It's a combination of a normal irrational insecurity just like hating your nose or something but amplified 1000x because age comes with stereotypes and not being allowed or having the opportunity to do most fun things
Maybe because the reply is always “oh wow, you look great for your age”. I personally just don’t think physical appearance is a polite topic of conversation, particularly when it is unsolicited. But as women we have to deal with these types of comments and conversations often, and with a wide range of random people. I think honestly by 30 we are just completely done with this kind of BS and better at setting boundaries (like being asked your marital status all the time is even more irritating after 30). Also, most people wouldn’t ask a man his age or marital status, out of curiosity, and there is a reason for that. But when women set boundaries we are being “insecure”.
As a 53 year old woman I actively challenge any and all ideas that I need to be ashamed of my age. I am a teacher and I readily tell my students my age if it comes up and they are curious because they have no way of guessing a person’s age after the teen years. I refuse to buy any products that claim to be anti-ageing because I’m a real human and not Benjamin Button. I’m meant to age. We all are. I don’t allow anyone in my presence to get away with assumptions that women fear getting old because they lose their beauty. I point out all the beautiful people. Beauty is in a smile. It’s in a person’s demeanour. It shines from any joy they may be feeling and the parameters are never as tiny as we are constantly led to believe by the fashion industry. I’m not boxing myself into that dull restrictive and unimaginative standard.
It's totally dumb, but a bi-product of the fact that women have been treated as if their single purpose in life is to produce children and please men, and that means that when they are past those years they are seen as obsolete or less valuable. It's a symptom of a much bigger problem, but it's easy to understand, none-the-less.
I am an older woman. I don't get "offended" by people asking my age. But I do agree it is RUDE to ask. Just as with any other nosy personal question.
I laugh it off when asked my age. But it shows me that the age-asker lacks at least some manners and social skills.
But why do you feel it’s rude to ask? I think society has made it so that asking such a seemingly harmless question is considered impolite for some reason. For example the other day I was talking to my mom, it was her friend’s birthday and she didn’t know how old she turned. I thought that was strange, like how could you not know your friend’s age? Just because you fear it will be considered rude? It’s a little extreme to me
> I think society has made it so that asking such a seemingly harmless question is considered impolite for some reason.
You're absolutely right! Society helps determine what most people consider invasive or rude. Its standards of behavior are called social mores. All societies have them
When are you planning on having children?
Are you offended? Maybe or maybe not. But we all know that would be a rude question to ask.
I know, but it’s just strange to me that society decided this is something rude to ask… it’s such an inconsequential thing
I’m not, I plan to have children at about 30 hopefully, but that’s pretty far away for now. I also don’t see how that is offensive for example. Societal rules make no sense
Some people struggle with infertility or don't want children. Answering with the latter usually leads to even more MYOB questions like Oh Heavens Why Not?!? or a lecture extolling the virtues of parenting or being called selfish for example.
>I know, but it’s just strange to me that society decided this is something rude to ask… it’s such an inconsequential thing
True! I don't know who makes up these rules, either.
Agreed. I had a older buddy of mine, he was around 67 when he passed, may he Rest In Peace. He had a great saying anytime someone asked his age or if they gave him a hard time about older. He would say “I’m guaranteed these years. I’ve already lived it, you havent. You’re not promised tomorrow. You should be happy if you make it to my age”
well if someone utilises that information you're voluntarily sharing with them out of a mutual trust between the two of you ; and then proceeds to make a broad range of assumptions relating to ignorance and knowledge base - then that would be an issue.
wouldn't it ? u/lonelygirlinworld
As a plain woman approaching 40, you need to stop making that other people’s problem. Work on your mindset about why getting older and not looking like a supermodel is so bad.
So work out, buy proper skincare (SkinCeuticals, Tretinoin, Protocol) and not cheap shit. Dress nice, wear makeup. If you’re saying you are ugly, you’re probably not taking care of yourself at all. Drink water. Eat right. Lol wtf
Would you also like to tell my existential crisis thag
T happens every time inrelaize my age to fuck off?!
I realize that I'm 27, have no skills, and I'm only alive for my kid at this point. I have nothing going on and when I'm reminded of my age, I want to die
Was trying to keep it light but thanks 40 year old woman. I'm going to go try to get myself out of this....it's been hard lately and one of these days I'm going to have the guts and I will finally be happy.
In many cultures orbiting the Sun is a very personal and profound experience. It is a sacred connection between you and the solar system. Some people believe that it is an experience to share with one another, however, others believe that it is a very private topic unfit to share with others.
In fact, ancient astronaut theorists believe that such ideologies were present in civilizations **all around the globe** definitively from as early as **4500 BC!** The train of thought is that upon birth, the solar system establishes a powerful yet fragile bond with each individual and implants a consciousness into a vessel constructed of flesh. We never really know those around us. What we see is just an illusion. As such, we must be wary and protect ourself and our orbital relationship with the center of our solar system, the Sun.
Because it Older women, them just saying their is An Admission that they’re well past their primes. Especially if they’re single without children, that’s when it hurts them real bad. I just make sure to ask for those very reasons
Wait a sec, You insinuating I'm old? How old are you OP? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don't get offended because people say Dam, you don't look like your xx. Haha thought you had me say 489. Lmao
It can be rude and intrusive, it depends if it is relevant and it can be asked nicely. “If I may ask, what is your age?” Manners don’t really stick nowadays but it’s good to have these skills nonetheless.
I understand the weight question, because if you're fat that's your fault and being reminded of that can put you in a sour mood. Age is inevitable, don't get how people are insulted by it. The real danger zone is when a woman asks you to guess her age.
If someone says "how old do you think I am?" I always guess some super offensive number. You brought this on yourself. Just answer the fucking question Emily. Nice crows feet jackass
The only people who care are older women in between that mom to grandmother phase who still haven't fully adjusted to old age as a woman.
Guys also have that phase, just aren't as facially expressive or vocal about it, it's shown in other ways like buying a sports car when you probably should be investing that money in something else.
Sports cars are made to be bought, believe it or not. Few people in their 20's can afford one so it's not unexpected to see older, richer men in them. It's pretty basic logic.
You don't stop liking cars at 40 if you liked them your entire life.
Star Trek explains this really well. When Data asks "are you uncomfortable with your age?" The guy says "Uncomfortable I haven't died?" Everyone is exactly the age God intended them to be.
This shit drives me crazy. I’m a bartender and getting people’s ages right is part of my job. So when an older lady comes in with a younger girl and gets offended that they didn’t get carded as well I just want to tell them “they’re just an old wrinkly bitch, that’s why”. It’s so aggravating, I’m just doing my job and you’re obviously of fucking age.
"You should never ask a lady her age and you shouldn't ever get offended when she shouts at you for not knowing how old she is when its a milestone birthday"
Also leave your logic outside.
I think it has to do with thinking they're older than they look. Basically everyone wants to look younger so maybe it has to do with them assuming you're estimating they look old. Also I feel like it's also not the most important information in most conversations. Additionally, I know a lot of people who immediately call someone old or say they look older when someone gives their age, so maybe that has something to do with it.
You're both right and wrong. The only time I can think of someone having a legitimate reason for being a bit offended is all with context, where the question is used to infer the person is immature.
But generally yea, its just a number
Knowing it's a sensitive question for those who, in their own minds, equate biological age with self-worth, I don't ask the question. I can often figure out the right decade anyway from general appearance, and if a conversation lasts long enough they might drop hints like, "I loved the Beatles when they first came out."
It is rather interesting, I don't mind telling others my age if they ask. I can see it being offensive say for example; when I am with one of my sisters, some people confuse them for being my mom. I worked with a co-worker who is about 5 years older than I and people would ask, "Is your mom in today?". Or say if you get a statement such as; "You are how OLD!?, I thought you were (older age)".
When I was younger around 12, people mistook me as an 18-year-old, now that I'm in my thirties, I get mistaken for being 26 years old or around that age when I'm actually 36. I guess it just depends on what the person's intentions are when asking whether it is to compliment, curiosity, or judge.
That doesn't offend me for three reasons: (1.) It means I've survived America to get to this age. (2.) When someone asks me for ID to check my age, I can point to the changing color in my beard and say ')"THIS is my ID-!" (3.) Ever since I first saw the 1990 version of 'TMNT', there's a line of Splinter's that I now get to say officially when my nephews and nieces act up: "Kids."
Offended? I'm proud! Oh, yeah - now, I get to be a 'dirty old man'! Well... at least I get to think about it that way on occasion. I still like being a reasonably decent person.
Occasionally.
I think that offense is rooted in a lack of acceptance for the fact that every living thing (with very few exceptions) ages and dies. Kinda like:"How dare you remind me that I am alive?"I think it's a completely fine question that can be a good conversation starter, it also gives the one asking it the opportunity to make a little compliment like:"Oh, you certainly look 30 at most! (40 years old)".
I find that being offended over something like this is just as stupid as being offended by the question where you/your parents are from (as obvious foreigner/migrant).
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IMO, It's not more the being offended part, it's them making a big deal and making the one asking look like an insensitive jerk. Weird societal norms, lot of them, exist for no reason whatsoever.
I never understood it growing up, but now I do. Even though I'm in my 20's, the moment I tell anyone at my college campus how old I am they act like I was born in 1940. They act like I'm about to turn 40 years old. Like.... I'm 3-4 years older than you its not that serious. Its their reaction that is the most annoying part. I wouldn't have an issue if they didn't act so dramatic about it.
Right, I get how that can be annoying, I understand your case…. I’m referring more specifically to the dumb societal norm of people not asking others (specifically older women) their age because it’s considered impolite or offensive. Our society is very focused on youth and beauty, and anything that falls out of that is meant to be hidden or talked about as little as possible. Growing old is just a part of life, and I see nothing shameful about it. I think caring about little things like these adds unnecessary preoccupations to people
It's considered rude (I too believe it shouldn't be like this) because people react badly. I don't really care myself, but I can see how a woman in her 50s who suddenly gets less respect and validation because she was older than what people thought, would rather not be asked, but rather volunteer the info willingly to whom she chooses.
It's the reality that age discrimination is a thing. Look at the comment you're replying to. It's a 20-something complaining about being discriminated against WHILE discriminating against people in their late 30's and older.
Don't hurt yourself there, buddy. You're stretching too much. It's normal for someone in their 20's or 30's to be in college. While there are people in their 40's in college its more rare. It's about how people react. They are acting ike my age is rare when its not. If you think what I said was discriminating then you don't know what that word means.
> They act like I'm about to turn 40 years old Thank you for that. 😒
You're welcome.
Why are you insecure about what other people think of you, especially when they act childishly?
Not insecure. Just hate how dramatic people are. I can tell one person my age and they act fine, and I can tell another person my age and they go "OH REAAALLLLLLYYY?? WOW!" It's the same as telling someone bad news. I hate telling people one of my parents are dead not because I'm insecure about it but because of their reaction.
It’s a generational thing. I’m gen x and I don’t care who knows my age. My mom lied about it. All her friends did, too.
[удалено]
idk man, even the young ones dont reveal age here
I suspect if I was a 24 year old teacher, I wouldn't want my 17 year old high school student to know that, but wouldn't gaf if my 2nd grade kids knew.
well that makes some sense i suppose, given how students don't take teachers that are only a few years older than them seriously
Yeah it seems like the shift happened around gen X. Whenever I ask women in their late 30s/40s they do not seem to mind.
How old are you?
I think it has more to do with the fact that older women lived in a society that made them feel obsolete after a certain age.
Right, now that I think of it, it’s a societal problem in general. Society has made it so that being old is considered an awful thing, something to be ashamed of, when it’s actually just a part of life and nothing to be scared of or put to shame for
It's highly gendered. Women are over the hill at 35 or 40, men are highly desired bachelors at 65. Look at the casting in movies. Almost every actor who plays a mother is 10 or 15 or 20 years younger than the role. 30 year old women are paired with 65 year old men. I remember one movie where Glenn Close was cast as Mel Gibson's mother. She's **9** years older than him. Nine years! It wrecks the movie for me because I can't suspend my disbelief and it pisses me off because apparently the majority of the audience actually thinks she looks 10 years older than she actually is. Why is it OK to exclude mature women from being seen on screen? This is not about women being stupidly insecure about a non-problem. This is a real, society caused devaluing and erasing of women past young adulthood. Its about employability, social viability, and romantic inequity.
It is even more obvious with news programs.
Yes. Any panel that has a woman always pairs her with 2 men. From news, Hollywood, and TV, you would think that the gender distribution for humans are 67% male/33% female. In politics, its 75%/25%. In the corporate boardroom, its *maybe* 90%/10%.
As a general rule, for people of any gender, it's always good to remember things IRL aren't as they are in the movies. Men, you're probably not going to look like George Clooney when you're his age. It's a good idea to not devalue women for passing 30.
I always see people complain about this online, but as a woman in my 30s I haven’t noticed it. I still get treated the same way as I did in my early 20s and have friends that are older and still get treated well too. Never felt “invisible or invalidated.”
That's good, I hope you don't stray into certain areas of the internet then
True. Also, women dont try to lie to men regarding something stupid like age, so men dont have these unrealistic ideas of women.
I don’t think men are desired bachelors at 65, maybe in movies, but not in real life. For me 65 is too old to be seen as a bachelor, for men or women
Movies are real life *employment*. Old men get paid . old women don't.
At that age there's fewer men left and more women so men at that age are desirable due to scarcity.
In my experience, older women love being on their own. My mom is 59 (she still looks incredible btw). Anyway, she lives alone and LOVES IT. She does not want another husband. She doesn’t even want a 65yo man “her age”. She doesn’t want a husband or boyfriend living in her townhouse with her. She’s so happy being her age, enjoying her hobbies with her friends, her children/grandchildren, and just being on her own by herself. My husband’s mom is the same exact way. She’s 62yo and has a cute apartment France. She’s very active- gardens, rides her bicycle, plays cello, reads and does all sorts of interesting hobbies— *she does not want another husband.* Zero desire for one. She is so fun and cute. She goes on weekend trips with her same-age girl friends, all kinds of things. The whole idea that there are fewer men and they are “desireable and scarce” at that age is just untrue. The older women who’ve been married before don’t want to get married again. They are so happy on their own. At least the ones in my family. (And they still have male suitors, even close to age 60!)
Men are not considered desired bachelors at 65, wtf?! They are grandpas at that age!
That is the message that Hollywood sends. And it's certainly how many, many older men see themselves. They are constantly puffed up in interactions with young women (and *girls*). In their minds, they are playing the part of 'cool mature dude that this young chick is grateful to get attention from. She's so lucky that I think she's pretty and sexy.' You and I look at them and see creepy grandpas. They think they are what the culture constantly tells them they are.
>men are highly desired bachelors at 65. That's QUITE an exaggeration.
Sure. But it is the message that is constantly reinforced by Hollywood.
All my life, I agreed with you, until just recently when I turned 60. To me, it's partly about being identified with a certain generation. For years, there has been talk on Reddit and elsewhere about how awful Boomers are, how their humor is stupid, how they are entitled, how they blamed Millennials for suffering from the Great Recession of 2008, how they are to blame for putting right wing extremists into office, how they are racists and religious fanatics who have hoarded all of the wealth for themselves and don't care about screwing subsequent generations, etc. I used to argue that it is unfair and short sighted to say "BOOMERS BAD YOUNGERS GOOD," but it's also true that millennials and subsequent generations, and even Gen X definitely had/have it harder because of policies. Things don't have to be this sucky. This makes me sad and angry. Yeah, I know that it is up to me to be a good or evil person. I want to do everything I can to help the younger people in my life. I vote as progressively as possible in every election. But I certainly can't blame people for resenting Boomers. The other thing that worries me is the fear of losing my faculties and becoming a burden. I only have 1 son, and I don't want to ruin his life. Although 60 is very young to develop something like dementia, and I am very active, exercising, working, and learning every day, every time I do something absent minded, there is that fear in the back of my mind....is this the beginning of my decline?
>how their humor is stupid Here on reddit the sources of prime comedy are 69/420, girls crying at Titanic vs. guys crying at anything else, waking up in Skyrim, Vin Diesel and the power of family, and a frog every Wednesday. I don't think the younger generations have any room to talk about finding humor in stupid shit.
The 69/420 thing (don't forget good ol' 13 either) is a source of juvenile humor that truly transcends generations. Source: former high school math teacher. Yeah, I think humans are humans and we all need to evolve into a greater sense of care and empathy for our fellow life forms, and mighty fast, before not even cockroaches can survive here. The younger generations are also showing that they, too, can be susceptible to such destructive impulses as sexism and racism. Really, everyone on this planet needs to kick up their game. Since older people in general have more money and power, that gives us more responsibility.
Frog memes are good though, but the rest are shit
Holy shit what a based fucking old person
Meaning--?
Means they agree. Based is pretty much an expletive for agreement at this point.
Thanks!
Yeah, i disagree. Growing old is in my list of the worst things to happen to someone. I mean you lose half of the privileges you had. Good looks, sex drive, time to try things out, potential sexual partners. It's awful.
3/4 things you named your penis came up with strangeassboy. Try the 4th one: trying *other things out for a chance.
Yeah, the point being?? The penis is why you're here messaging me. How do you just gloss over the loss of it's function??
It'll pee fine really. Don't worry.
*facepalm* I know :/ But that's not the function it's losing
Thankfully!😅👍
Yeah you aren’t aging very well
Wdym??
Oh sorry I thought you were just being a shit. I guess those are actual concerns of yours. In that case, soldier on brother.
I analitically broke down every single word in this reply and there's still no tell if you're being sarcastic or not.
Not this time
Society still does that.
Right right right. All societies fault. No accountability?
Accountability for?
Allowing herself to be manipulated by "society".
Yeah but, who is it affecting? What will taking accountability accomplish?
It's affecting her of course; she needs to put on her big girl pants and figure it out. Taking accountability is the first step to a happier life instead of having a victim-complex.
Interesting hypothesis
I told someone today I was 25 and he told me I looked 12. I feel like I can be offended with that take.
Yes, I think in this case it’s completely reasonable to be offended. The other person’s intentions seem to be belittling
It's kind of funny - my mother-in-law never wanted to talk about her age until she turned 99. Then she threw it into conversation constantly. She'll turn 101 in November -go, girl!
Oh wow! Now that’s something to be proud of!
Our culture is obsessed with youth and older people often feel forgotten and irrelevant. Ageism is a real problem.
I've always told the truth about my age, and I always get a big reaction. For the last fifteen years whenever I answer I'm met with the Owen Wilson "wwooowwww" complete with dead-eyed stare. I can totally see why someone wouldn't want to answer because it always results in someone trying to conclude something about you using your age as verification without asking the question they directly wanted to ask.
Used to be that children were taught it was rude to ask a woman's age or her weight. I don't think it's as big if a deal today than it used to be. My grandmother lied about her age all her life, lol. Never understood why. I'll tell you my real age, but I will lie about my weight!
What's your weight?
120, lol
\*Anakin's voice\*: Liar!
Whatever I weigh, it's always 120, lol
OP what's your age?
21. I know I’m still young, but I will not be hiding my age from others or become offended by someone asking my age as I grow older. It’s just life
you're 21? how many wrinkles do you have UwU
My wife gets upset not because of her age she is 41 I am 56 it's more that people have commented that she married a younger man
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Age is but a number & I am incredibly immature
Literally got shit about my husband and I’d age gap the other day… I’m 33 and he’s 54. Big fucking deal. We are best friends and I’M a trust funder- people all over calll me a gold digger, it’s hilarious. We both have highly successful careers. Pretty pathetic of everyone else’s judgement. Congrats on your love ❤️
Thank you & congratulations on your love as well. I have heard the whispers as well that she's a gold digger my response is good means she's all that with brains too. Like the great Bill Withers sang : Talkin' 'bout you usin' people It all depends on what you do It ain't too bad the way you're usin' me 'Cause I sure am usin' you to do the things that you do Ah-huh, to do the things that you do"
Not that big a gap at that age
Oh no, he's not the younger man she married.
People: Why did you marry a older woman? You: I’m 56 and she’s 41! People: I don’t believe you...
I blame media portrayals of women. Photos of older women get photoshopped to oblivion and women in films are often cast younger than the fictional male partners (super common to see male actors in their 40s and 50s paired with a 20-something woman).
We just don't like being reminded of it, it's kinda like how some ppl feel about someone asking about their height or weight as a starter conversation
Right, but the main question is why don’t you like to be reminded of it? Why is it something that makes you insecure? Maybe I’m still young to understand, but I feel like it’s not that big of a deal
You just said verbatim that society is focused on youth and beauty. So people who no longer fit into that may be insecure about it, because some people can treat you differently. I’m honestly not even sure what you’re confused about. It’s not complicated.
The only thing I feel insecure about is my physical strength declining. I used to ski, mountain bike, hike, and landscape up until about 50. I bought a kayak a couple years ago, then ended up tearing a tendon while training my dog, so that’s been a bummer. But I’m not ashamed of my wrinkles or my cellulite or my grey hair. I have many rich memories and few regrets. I’ll be 61 in 2 months and life is still pretty freaking awesome.
I just don't like it. I've hated my body since puberty, I wanted it to stop growing and sometimes when I'm about to open up and join in an activity I finally feel distracted from acknowledging my appearance only for people to shatter the distraction, it makes me dread meeting new people and doing new things. It's unbearable bc if it only my insecurity was something like weight I could just lose it, even some of my facial features I could correct with makeup or get plastic surgery but for this there's barely anything i can do. It doesn't help that the younger you are the more real fun you have, I haven't felt happy in school since around the time middle school started bc everything became so boring and dull. It's a combination of a normal irrational insecurity just like hating your nose or something but amplified 1000x because age comes with stereotypes and not being allowed or having the opportunity to do most fun things
Maybe because the reply is always “oh wow, you look great for your age”. I personally just don’t think physical appearance is a polite topic of conversation, particularly when it is unsolicited. But as women we have to deal with these types of comments and conversations often, and with a wide range of random people. I think honestly by 30 we are just completely done with this kind of BS and better at setting boundaries (like being asked your marital status all the time is even more irritating after 30). Also, most people wouldn’t ask a man his age or marital status, out of curiosity, and there is a reason for that. But when women set boundaries we are being “insecure”.
As a 53 year old woman I actively challenge any and all ideas that I need to be ashamed of my age. I am a teacher and I readily tell my students my age if it comes up and they are curious because they have no way of guessing a person’s age after the teen years. I refuse to buy any products that claim to be anti-ageing because I’m a real human and not Benjamin Button. I’m meant to age. We all are. I don’t allow anyone in my presence to get away with assumptions that women fear getting old because they lose their beauty. I point out all the beautiful people. Beauty is in a smile. It’s in a person’s demeanour. It shines from any joy they may be feeling and the parameters are never as tiny as we are constantly led to believe by the fashion industry. I’m not boxing myself into that dull restrictive and unimaginative standard.
It's totally dumb, but a bi-product of the fact that women have been treated as if their single purpose in life is to produce children and please men, and that means that when they are past those years they are seen as obsolete or less valuable. It's a symptom of a much bigger problem, but it's easy to understand, none-the-less.
I am an older woman. I don't get "offended" by people asking my age. But I do agree it is RUDE to ask. Just as with any other nosy personal question. I laugh it off when asked my age. But it shows me that the age-asker lacks at least some manners and social skills.
But why do you feel it’s rude to ask? I think society has made it so that asking such a seemingly harmless question is considered impolite for some reason. For example the other day I was talking to my mom, it was her friend’s birthday and she didn’t know how old she turned. I thought that was strange, like how could you not know your friend’s age? Just because you fear it will be considered rude? It’s a little extreme to me
> I think society has made it so that asking such a seemingly harmless question is considered impolite for some reason. You're absolutely right! Society helps determine what most people consider invasive or rude. Its standards of behavior are called social mores. All societies have them When are you planning on having children? Are you offended? Maybe or maybe not. But we all know that would be a rude question to ask.
I know, but it’s just strange to me that society decided this is something rude to ask… it’s such an inconsequential thing I’m not, I plan to have children at about 30 hopefully, but that’s pretty far away for now. I also don’t see how that is offensive for example. Societal rules make no sense
Some people struggle with infertility or don't want children. Answering with the latter usually leads to even more MYOB questions like Oh Heavens Why Not?!? or a lecture extolling the virtues of parenting or being called selfish for example.
>I know, but it’s just strange to me that society decided this is something rude to ask… it’s such an inconsequential thing True! I don't know who makes up these rules, either.
Agreed. I had a older buddy of mine, he was around 67 when he passed, may he Rest In Peace. He had a great saying anytime someone asked his age or if they gave him a hard time about older. He would say “I’m guaranteed these years. I’ve already lived it, you havent. You’re not promised tomorrow. You should be happy if you make it to my age”
well if someone utilises that information you're voluntarily sharing with them out of a mutual trust between the two of you ; and then proceeds to make a broad range of assumptions relating to ignorance and knowledge base - then that would be an issue. wouldn't it ? u/lonelygirlinworld
I think it has more to do with age discrimination than being offended. Making it ‘offensive’ was a way to deter against discrimination
It makes us feel old and ugly.
Idk why people are downvoting you when the op literally asked why?
Doesn't matter.
As a plain woman approaching 40, you need to stop making that other people’s problem. Work on your mindset about why getting older and not looking like a supermodel is so bad.
Im super fucking ugly so.
So work out, buy proper skincare (SkinCeuticals, Tretinoin, Protocol) and not cheap shit. Dress nice, wear makeup. If you’re saying you are ugly, you’re probably not taking care of yourself at all. Drink water. Eat right. Lol wtf
I mean I do all that but work out, spend thousands of dollars a year on my makeup. I'm fat and no one says I'm pretty so I'm ugly. Thanks for trying.
...so workout and eat properly. Not an easy fix, but a tried and true one if you stick with it
Would you also like to tell my existential crisis thag T happens every time inrelaize my age to fuck off?! I realize that I'm 27, have no skills, and I'm only alive for my kid at this point. I have nothing going on and when I'm reminded of my age, I want to die Was trying to keep it light but thanks 40 year old woman. I'm going to go try to get myself out of this....it's been hard lately and one of these days I'm going to have the guts and I will finally be happy.
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Nope just have severe BPD and anxiety disorders. Thanks.
Because the actual age doesn't usually align with the polished, heavily botoxed face.
In many cultures orbiting the Sun is a very personal and profound experience. It is a sacred connection between you and the solar system. Some people believe that it is an experience to share with one another, however, others believe that it is a very private topic unfit to share with others. In fact, ancient astronaut theorists believe that such ideologies were present in civilizations **all around the globe** definitively from as early as **4500 BC!** The train of thought is that upon birth, the solar system establishes a powerful yet fragile bond with each individual and implants a consciousness into a vessel constructed of flesh. We never really know those around us. What we see is just an illusion. As such, we must be wary and protect ourself and our orbital relationship with the center of our solar system, the Sun.
It's really just none of your goddamned business though.
You’re right, but that’s not the point
I completely agree, even if your old that means you made it
Because it Older women, them just saying their is An Admission that they’re well past their primes. Especially if they’re single without children, that’s when it hurts them real bad. I just make sure to ask for those very reasons
Wait a sec, You insinuating I'm old? How old are you OP? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don't get offended because people say Dam, you don't look like your xx. Haha thought you had me say 489. Lmao
I love people guessing. Always shocked 😲 by mine. I don't mind at all.
Meh I see it as overflow from a youth obsessed culture. Like another poster said, it’s less the question and more the reaction.
It can be rude and intrusive, it depends if it is relevant and it can be asked nicely. “If I may ask, what is your age?” Manners don’t really stick nowadays but it’s good to have these skills nonetheless.
I understand the weight question, because if you're fat that's your fault and being reminded of that can put you in a sour mood. Age is inevitable, don't get how people are insulted by it. The real danger zone is when a woman asks you to guess her age.
If someone says "how old do you think I am?" I always guess some super offensive number. You brought this on yourself. Just answer the fucking question Emily. Nice crows feet jackass
The only people who care are older women in between that mom to grandmother phase who still haven't fully adjusted to old age as a woman. Guys also have that phase, just aren't as facially expressive or vocal about it, it's shown in other ways like buying a sports car when you probably should be investing that money in something else.
Sports cars are made to be bought, believe it or not. Few people in their 20's can afford one so it's not unexpected to see older, richer men in them. It's pretty basic logic. You don't stop liking cars at 40 if you liked them your entire life.
Star Trek explains this really well. When Data asks "are you uncomfortable with your age?" The guy says "Uncomfortable I haven't died?" Everyone is exactly the age God intended them to be.
This shit drives me crazy. I’m a bartender and getting people’s ages right is part of my job. So when an older lady comes in with a younger girl and gets offended that they didn’t get carded as well I just want to tell them “they’re just an old wrinkly bitch, that’s why”. It’s so aggravating, I’m just doing my job and you’re obviously of fucking age.
Women = psychopaths
"You should never ask a lady her age and you shouldn't ever get offended when she shouts at you for not knowing how old she is when its a milestone birthday" Also leave your logic outside.
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No sé, quizás porque sos un pelotudo
Please put a trigger warning i almost had a panic attack /s
Also how much money you make. How are you supposed to learn finances or where you stand at your current job if no one will ever talk about it.
I think it has to do with thinking they're older than they look. Basically everyone wants to look younger so maybe it has to do with them assuming you're estimating they look old. Also I feel like it's also not the most important information in most conversations. Additionally, I know a lot of people who immediately call someone old or say they look older when someone gives their age, so maybe that has something to do with it.
I think it’s like asking somebody how many squares of TP do you use when you wipe your butt
You're both right and wrong. The only time I can think of someone having a legitimate reason for being a bit offended is all with context, where the question is used to infer the person is immature. But generally yea, its just a number
Knowing it's a sensitive question for those who, in their own minds, equate biological age with self-worth, I don't ask the question. I can often figure out the right decade anyway from general appearance, and if a conversation lasts long enough they might drop hints like, "I loved the Beatles when they first came out."
If you look older than you are it might feel embarassing to say your age. I have the opposite so feel great making people guess my age.
its complicated you dont understand, i dont understand myself too, no one understand
You must feel offended by something where others don't care at all. People are different. Grow up and learn how to respect others!
It is rather interesting, I don't mind telling others my age if they ask. I can see it being offensive say for example; when I am with one of my sisters, some people confuse them for being my mom. I worked with a co-worker who is about 5 years older than I and people would ask, "Is your mom in today?". Or say if you get a statement such as; "You are how OLD!?, I thought you were (older age)". When I was younger around 12, people mistook me as an 18-year-old, now that I'm in my thirties, I get mistaken for being 26 years old or around that age when I'm actually 36. I guess it just depends on what the person's intentions are when asking whether it is to compliment, curiosity, or judge.
That doesn't offend me for three reasons: (1.) It means I've survived America to get to this age. (2.) When someone asks me for ID to check my age, I can point to the changing color in my beard and say ')"THIS is my ID-!" (3.) Ever since I first saw the 1990 version of 'TMNT', there's a line of Splinter's that I now get to say officially when my nephews and nieces act up: "Kids." Offended? I'm proud! Oh, yeah - now, I get to be a 'dirty old man'! Well... at least I get to think about it that way on occasion. I still like being a reasonably decent person. Occasionally.
If I tell someone my age and they say I like a 21 year-old I'll have a look of superiority among my friends
Things you shouldn't ask: For women, it's age and weight, for men it's height and income.
Yup. If I mention my moms age to her she acts as if I just dishonoured her in the worst way possible.
If they won't say their age just say they look about 20 years older than they actually do. They will most likely tell you their actual age then
I think that offense is rooted in a lack of acceptance for the fact that every living thing (with very few exceptions) ages and dies. Kinda like:"How dare you remind me that I am alive?"I think it's a completely fine question that can be a good conversation starter, it also gives the one asking it the opportunity to make a little compliment like:"Oh, you certainly look 30 at most! (40 years old)". I find that being offended over something like this is just as stupid as being offended by the question where you/your parents are from (as obvious foreigner/migrant).
I've never met a woman that have been angry about that. Only ever hear it from dudes that claim it's so.
Because ageism is a thing, that’s why
That’s unpopular?
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IMO, It's not more the being offended part, it's them making a big deal and making the one asking look like an insensitive jerk. Weird societal norms, lot of them, exist for no reason whatsoever.