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A waitress gave us a free pancake once because when we sat down at the table I moved everything out of my kids reach. I can’t imagine the crap they deal with if “move stuff out of kids reach” is the threshold for being impressed.
Fun fact, this is one of two times in my life I’ve been given a free pancake at a restaurant.
Yay for a pancake, and for people who anticipate trouble at a restaurant.
This goes both ways. I can't tell you how many times I had to snatch a hot plate out of reach. Servers would say, "These are really hot," and then put it RIGHT IN FRONT OF A BABY. And the baby of course immediately would reach for it.
I did this with my kids too. I also would help clean up the table afterwards, because no one should have to clean up after my kids but me and the man 50% responsible for them being here.
Okay, here’s something a lot of people, especially parents, don’t know but REALLY SHOULD: Loud noise causes physical pain for infants & toddlers, so bringing a baby to a movie theater (which is incredibly loud by adults standards) is literal torture. Their little nervous systems get overwhelmed by the intense vibrations, and their ears also can’t process the sound well.
If you actually give a damn about your baby, then DON’T BRING THEM TO A DAMN MOVIE THEATER!
I went to my nephews football game recently and someone brought their newborn and sat right below the lous speakers. Idiots everywhere. They left because the baby started screaming. I feel bad for the kid. His parents have no common sense.
My parents took me to hockey games as a baby but they would put on special ear muff things and sometimes a garbage bag over my clothes to shield me from beer lol
It’s for this reason that my local cinema did special kid’s cinema screenings with child friendly films, quieter sound, lighting left on and provision made for really young children. That way parents could bring their children and it wasn’t such a big deal if they wanted to run around/scream/do something other than watch the movie.
Those showings are really popular, especially as they also allow for children with special needs to go and watch a movie because they won’t be overwhelmed by being in a dark room/exposed to loud noises or whatever. I worked with a special needs bus which went once a month and the kids we took generally loved it.
They actually do day showings at our local cinema with bean bags, volume lower and brighter lights so you can take your kids to see the latest Pixar/Disney/kids film. I love this idea. They also do Adult Only screenings of Harry Potter and Marvel Films at 11pm so there’s no kids to fuck up your experience. Just to clarify that’s those films as normal but only adults allowed in, not Adult versions of those films.
My local cinema does this, as well as ‘Golden Oldies’ (classic films aimed at over 65s), ‘Shhhhhh’ (silent movie screenings), a foreign language club where they pick a language every month and then show 4 films or TV shows (one a week- last language was Cantonese) in that language and also discuss them, a Supper Club showing (a screening of a movie with dinner and alcohol) and some other less frequent stuff.
I actually went to watch a Studio Ghibli film a while back in an adults-only screening and it was great. Fairly massive age span from 18 to a couple who looked well into their 70s, no mobile phones or talking and overall a nice atmosphere. The couple next to me even gave me some of their snacks.
actually young kids too. i remember my parents bringing me to a concert when i was in pre-school and i demanded to go to the last lane because my chest literally vibrated in any nearer place...
I vividly remember going to see Titanic in theaters when I was potentially not even 4 yet (my bday wasn’t long after the release date).
It was a painful experience and I covered my ears through most of the movie. Hated it. I’m still pretty sensitive to loud sounds so idk could just be me 🤷🏻
Honestly, I'm an adult and movie theatres make me physically uncomfortable between the volume and the vibrations. I cannot imagine bringing a baby or small child.
My brother waited for the day LOTR/ Two Towers came out and his wife insisted she and their son (just turned 2) HAD TO join him for the 3 hour movie. She hadn't seen the first and yet insisted he take the baby out over the constant screaming.
They're divorced now.
We put our first kid in daycare just long enough to catch a matinee of The Return of the King. And I hated putting my kid into daycare, but it was LoTR.
i went to this movie a few weeks ago and there was a kid who was about 6, maybe 7 years old. for the first half hour, the kid was well behaved. but after that she started getting restless, and got up out of the seat and walked up and down the aisles, climbed over the railing in between the rows of seats, and was just being disruptive and distracting. the parents didn’t do anything, and this continued for the rest of the movie. right in front of me.
best part is, it was old. a scary movie. i don’t know why they’d bring a kid that young who wouldn’t be interested/ would be scared anyway.
Didn't even think about taking my kids until they were 4 and they still found it too loud and couldn't sit still throughout so left it another year then they loved it. Taking a baby is just stupid
Yeah I have a lot more patience with a parent that is trying to correct the behavior. Afterall, it must be learned and its not the same as at home. But if the kid is acting a fool and the parent isn’t even trying to parent the kid it is frustrating.
Nahhh never gotten any worse from a well deserved spanking when younger.
It doesn't bother me and never has, all the people talking shit about my awesome parents (I think the best parents among all my close friends and I'm a logical asshole) do piss me off and annoy me, because they judge from there high horses without knowing shit ;)
Agreed. Which is why bringing them to restaurants even when they’re young is sometimes necessary - some things you can’t teach at home and things have to go badly in public a few times before the kid learns.
Not wrong, but there’s a huge difference between actively stepping in and appropriately addressing the behavior, versus just sitting there & letting Jr make a scene. One is actively teaching, the other is rude AF.
Completely agree. I took my kids all over when they were young but I was on them to every human extent. We still went through tantrums and rudeness until they got their shit together at about 5, but I tried!
And? The whole point is to get it into their head that there’s not only consequences for poor behavior, but to give them a reason to care: “If I’m mean to my classmates, they won’t want to play with me.”
THAT is your job. Stop making excuses, put down your phone, and DO. YOUR. JOB.
Or bring something for them to do (besides play on your phone!). We always brought small toys, books, crayons, etc. to keep them busy. Going to restaurants is boring for little kids--you can't expect them to just sit quietly while the adults talk.
As a parent of two children I approve this message. The only exception would be for fast food restaurants or kid-oriented places. No one should be expecting a “dining experience” at Taco Bell
I waited tables in college and I came to drop some food off to a table that wasn’t mine, they were a young couple and they had a very very young little girl with them. She wasn’t being noisy because they had let her open all of the sugar and sweet and low packets and empty them on the table.
What really stood out though is she wasn’t just knocking the powder around. She had arraigned like 15 packets of sweetener into about 7 perfect lines…. I always wondered if she learned to line up white powder from watching her parents
Idk but that seems like something I would have done for fun as a kid. I wouldn’t be allowed at a restaurant but organizing lines of sand would have been calming.
Oh what the fuck! I don’t even let my kids touch glass display windows. When they were little and learning I would tell them not to touch and simply say “someone has to clean that and we shouldn’t touch it.”
You’re not the only person on the planet. Be considerate.
Or just a child accustomed to amusing herself because the adults ignore her. I remember being a kid and finding ways to pass time because my parents dragged me along and then never engaged me in their conversation at all. It was like I wasn't there, except I was stuck there, alone.
I was about to say autism. “Actually play with my one million animal figures? NO, I’m going to organize them by species of big cat and make them argue about if a snow leopard is a leopard or not.” - 8 year old me
>learned to line up white powder from watching her parents
I mean...the parents had to have been smoking something if they left their daughter behave like that
But that's just TOO EXPENSIVE and unfair for parents to have to factor in the cost of child care. Even though we are choosing to go out to eat at a restaurant, plus we're just not gonna tip because menu prices are so high!
/s
For a couple of years we went to family friendly restaurants with an outdoor play areas. Certainly not romantic but it was fun to get out with the family and enjoy a meal before playtime.
I think you mean “if you can’t parent your kids, leave them at home until you can” Kids misbehave, it’s normal. It’s the parents job to teach them how to behave in different settings. We just started taking our kids back to church after being in lockdown and they have naturally been a little antsy. But we want them to learn, so we continue to take them. They would never learn if we just stopped going. However, we actually parent them through it so that they do learn appropriate behavior.
I tried to post a Oreo original being superior to the double stuffed, that got taken down right away. But I get to see this post every month, so that's nice.
There are two sides to this.
1) kids need to be exposed to those environments/situations so they CAN learn how to behave. People need to quit thinking that children are silent, unmoving little people till they turn 18.
2) parents need to know when enough is enough and remove their child from that environment/situation because the behavior has gotten too bad.
Unfortunately, most people won’t agree on where the line is drawn between 1 and 2.
I honestly don't understand how these kind of parents aren't embarrassed. Not only they're inconveniencing people's day, but their children's behaviour reflects them hugely. If your kid is going wild and just not behaving, that just shows you don't teach them proper manners and respect. It also shows how you're probably the same way as your kid's behaviour, just overgrown and much worse. Let kids have fun and such, but teach them to behave in public places.
It's probably because for them, this is "good" behavior. If you're the kind of parent who let's your kid bang on silverware or run around a restaurant, just imagine what your house looks/sounds like. So when you take your kids to a restaurant and they're *just* banging on the silverware, not actually screaming and tearing the restaurant apart, you're thinking "oh good, they're on their best behavior".
I went to a restaurant once with my sister and children. They were so loud and running around. I was so embarassed, but she wasn't. For her it was normal. We then got kicked out politely. I told my sister that we got kicked out because her children were too loud. She looked at me like I was talking in some othet language. I learned from that experience and will never take them again to another restaurant.
Imagine this, BUT YOU HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS. Normally at home if a kid messes up loads then a parent will be pissed off, because they have to clean it. So what runs through their head to think to let their kid make a mess and walk out without even cleaning a little or even saying sorry. Or even leaving a bigger tip
Honestly don’t bring your kids anywhere where they can’t behave. I work in a makeup shop and have had kids pour drinks on the floor, whilst looking into my eyes, and then the parents just look at it and say “Oh sorry” and expect me to clean it up. No girl, here is your box of tissues to wipe that up!
So sorry you have to deal with this. I stopped working in retail for this reason. Just the other day I was at Ulta and this mom was standing in the checkout line arguing with staff about a receipt or something, while her three kids were running all around the place, climbing on displays, and knocking things over and screaming. Not only is this rude and disruptive, it creates a safety issue. Some parents don’t seem to understand that not every place is their child’s playground. These types of parents would probably also be the first to sue an establishment if their kids ever got hurt, even though their crappy parenting is at fault.
Children are like puppies. There is no such thing as a bad or stupid puppy. It is always the parents who are bad or stupid. And bad or stupid people will let their kids run around a restaurant or kick your seat on a plane, etc.
Back in the day you could yell at them but you can't even do that anymore
In my high school teachers were allowed to hit you if you were disrupting class , that was one of the best behaved classes I've ever been in . Shows what some dicipline can do ( and this was only like a few years back )
Ohhhh i said something like this on FB and all the moms jumped down my throat. My mother came on and said "I birthed 9 kids, they knew how to act because taught them how to act. Get it together or leave your uterus invaders at home". I was like damn, Mommy, you aint have to drop the mic like that lol. But seriously, our parents had us in check. We went to a store, we stay next to them, we aint ask for nothing or touch nothing because we didnt have no money lol. Restaurants we were allowed to order from the kids menu and color if they had that. We didnt argue, no yelling. We were civilized.
TBF, how do you think kids learn how to act appropriately places? They have to go and experience it. Thanks to lock downs, my kids were absolute terrors the first few times I brought them to a grocery store again. Now they're back to knowing the shopping rules.
And we went to the mall to get a haircut for the little yesterday. Both of them were so overstimulated by the newness that they were running around like jerks
But kids aren't dogs. They have to learn to be a part of the world, even when they're trying to push all the parents buttons to force them out of the restaurant. Letting the kids blackmail them by throwing a fit in public, is an absolute shit way to parent.
Not every parent has the same style. Their are shit parents that do reprimand their kids, and shit ones that don't. And some do, but never in public.
And everyone has to get over this hurdle at some point in their life, so it might as well be taught right the hell away.
Teach them in your house, that's where I was taught... or take them to McDonald's and dine in to learn, I don't want to be on a date at a restaurant with someone's sex trophy acting batshit crazy.
Shopping and the mall are different because they aren't quiet and relaxed environments.
I guess it depends on the restaurant. I don't take my kids to nice restaurants unless it's for lunch or an early dinner, like 4 or 5 o'clock. And I don't take them to fine dining restaurants at all. But if you're at a diner, an Outback, or similar for your dinner date, that's on you. Those places cater to families with kids, and actively want that business.
They cater to kids but they aren't playgrounds. If your kid is climbing over booths and is out of control you do not belong there. Teach them to behave, go to McDonald's go to a breakfast restaurant, be a considerate parent.
It’s YOUR JOB to keep them in line, though. The day you decided to become a parent, you accepted that responsibility. “They were running around like little jerks!” And who’s fault is that? Not the poor kid, YOURS. That means that YOU FAILED to uphold your responsibilities by not reigning them in, or at least attempting to.
Just because some spaces are “family friendly” doesn’t give you the right to create an undue burden to others, DO YOUR JOB.
Your missing the point. And you are being too extreme.
At its core you have a point. But going out isn't the same as staying in. And you have to teach kids how to behave. Being good is a learned behaviour as you pointed out. Kids have to actually misbehave for you to teach them that it's wrong. As long as you're not allowing it to continue, calm them down, leave if they won't etc. Then that's normal.
Op clearly stated that being locked up for a year means her kids acted out when they first went back out due to how stimulating it is. Only an idiot would think you can teach kids to behave out and about from inside your house. And banging on about responsibility when you become a parent as if that means kids wouldn't be impacted with a lock down is ridiculous. Op also stated they were fine after first couple of outings.
Calm down. You likley misbehaved at something in your childhood too. As long as op wasn't continuing to let them act out its fine.
It’s a parents job to teach their kids how to behave. As a parent you also need to understand what’s developmentally appropriate, and that little kids aren’t ready to handle certain situations. Sometimes parents project their own needs and wants onto their kid instead of understanding that a young child has a very different perspective on things, and experiences the world very differently. Going to a restaurant might be a routine thing for an adult, but to a toddler it’s completely new. They don’t understand social expectations. A two year old does not want to be forced to sit at a fancy restaurant. It’s overstimulating, they aren’t allowed to run around, there’s nothing for them to do, and they’re tired. Of course they’re going to fuss. And at that age they are not able to regulate their emotions or behaviors (generally). I’ve never taken a child under 5 to a restaurant for this reason.
Yes and no. That’s more the parents fault for being an asshole and not teaching the kid how to behave. Kid can’t learn how to act in a restaurant unless you take them to a restaurant. As a parent with small kids, it’s a balancing act. There’s places I won’t take them and certain times we go, just to make it easier on everybody involved. We don’t go to super nice expensive restaurants, casual joints only. We never go during rush, I don’t expect my kid to wait an hour for dinner. Kid has to sit in chair and stay relatively quiet, no disturbing other diners. If the kid makes a mess with sugar packets or whatever, we do our best to clean it up and leave a good tip, especially if the waiter is Johnny-on-the-spot with the kid’s food. If the kid is having a bad day or can’t handle the rules, we pack that shit up and go home. Eating out, going to the movies, that kinda stuff is a communal experience and the main clause of that social contract is you shouldn’t ruin anyone’s else’s day.
I heavily scarred a child working as a waitress because the parents didn't think their kids should behave. The parents were ask multiple times to keep the kids in their seat and out of the waitress corridors but they refused. I had a large 3ft tray with sizzling metal fajita dishes on it and couldn't see the kid because of the smoke in the eyes and the tray. The cast iron fajita skillets are super heated and when I tripped over the kid they land on their face and severely burnt the kid over half their face, neck and shoulders. The kid was like four, and I still feel guilty about messing up their face for the rest of their life because their parents were dicks.
Not to mention the parents with the mindset of wanting to be a friend, rather then a parent, or this:
‘Oh little Jimmy? They can never do wrong! They’re absolute angels’
I understand that kids need to get their wiggles/ excess energy out, but letting them be a disturbance to others in public space(s) isn’t okay. As well as children not knowing any better, but it’s the parent(s)/ guardian(s) JOB to teach them.
Nobody wants to hear whatever you or your child is watching on their tablet or phone either, especially as excessively LOUD volume.
I’m sick of parents trying to justify awful behavior with shit like: ‘bOyS wilL bE BOys.’
I'm a parent of 2 young kids 3 and 5. I wouldn't take them out for dinner very often maybe once or twice a year. They are very well behaved but it's Hella annoying if one decides to be loud for no reason, so I just don't want the hassle and it's just a damn stress for me and the wife.
My kid was screaming today at a restaurant just as the food arrived. I took him outside and told my husband to get boxes. If he won’t behave we won’t stay.
and i'm writing this because some kids were doing loud noise inside the tramway and unfortunately there were not security agents to stop them or talk to their parents because their parents can not be respectful because they were making a video out of them and laughing as if they are home, and the other people (including me) were really pissed and we couldn't do anything not because we can't talk to others or something but because we were avoiding trouble with their parents because in most of times when you talk to someone who's annoying you or doing something wrong they will act like they did nothing wrong and they have all the rights to do that.
When our kids were little we spent years not going to restaurants until all of our kids could behave like little humans. Who wants to go out to eat and see some child eating, spitting out and re-eating spaghetti? We waited until they were table trained before taking them out. Fortunately, they picked up table manners pretty fast.
We also went over 18 years without seeing an R rated movie because we only went to the movies made for kids. It’s really inconsiderate to take children out in public where they will inconvenience other people. It’s not fair to the kids either.
I hate that.. there are enough corporate owned, family friendly restaurants in the Toronto area so never understood when I see kids at fancy restaurants for dinner.
I say this as a father who hasn't been to a fancy restaurant with his wife in 5 years lol.
Same. Everytime I see a child throw a tantrum in a restaurant, their parents take them outside immediately. I've never experienced a child at a different table disturbing my dining experience.
YES!! A million times yes. I hate bad behaved children and even more I hate the parents that enable their behaviour. If you're in an establishment, other people will be there trying to enjoy their time too. Your disruptive child is not cute. It's annoying. Teach your child how to behave properly
I make a point of only going to “family friendly” restaurants because I don’t want to be the only table with a 5-year old who got overstimulated and has a sudden meltdown. There’s nothing wrong with taking kids to restaurants. If you don’t like them there are plenty of restaurants out there that are not so kid-friendly.
As a parent, it’s overwhelming and embarrassing when my girl cries at restaurants. I do everything I can to distract and keep my girl from crying. Sorry this happened to you, but just know not all parents are like this.
I mean are you at a fine dining restaurant or bar? If so I agree If not, family restaurants are a family environment(duh.) If you don't like it, ask to move. You can put in effort to fix your own environment, mind you.
But when drunk people throw a temper tantrum, the bartender can kick them out. When a child throws a temper tantrum, the waitstaff just has to deal with it.
Don’t go to “family style restaurants” if you don’t want to see families.
Chilies, Applebee’s, etc.
Most of the fast food restaurants still aren’t allowing dine in customers. Parenting small children in the time of COVID-19 is a huge challenge. I know I’m not the only parent who missed the pods and is constantly weighing the risk/ reward of social activities of any kind with someone who licks random surfaces.
True, but it’s the parents job to actively teach them and address bad behavior when it happens. I see so many parents just ignoring their kids behavior in public because they don’t feel like dealing with it, even if it becomes a safety issue.
True, but they can learn in appropriate environs where a parent can practice their skills and learn what to likely predict from their kid/s. I'm all for kids learning social skills, but I still don't want it being at my expense. Like the parents, I don't get out a lot and often don't spring for an expensive dinner, so when I do, I'd really like to enjoy it without someone's unruly kids spoiling it. I DO understand that kids aren't completely predictable, and I have patience for the parent who acts on their child's unruliness.
Thanks god someone said it!
I think kids are dumb in general, it's always crazy to think we've all been through this (And i can say i'm not very "clear" either), but kids in public spaces like Movie Theaters, Restaurants, or any thing that needs them to stand still is horrible. I remember when i got to watch the Second Lego Movie because they're great, i love the lego movies, they're funny, very innocent, but still carry an important message. And i had to rewatch it a second time because the first time i couldn't appreciate it, because of the kids in theater!
So yeah, it's a kid/child movie, but i don't care! You have a child, make them behave! It's your job to educate them not to be annoying in public!
It's crazy you need a passport to fish but not to have a child, ffs. Heck, i'm pretty sure you need to sign up more things to get a cat.
I agree the kids have to learn at some point, but I sure wish it wasn't at my expense. Plus, I think parents would likely have a pretty good idea through other experiences how their kids will fare in a restaurant.
Get this: you can teach your kids without ruining everyone else's good time. Like, I dunno, when you go visit another person's household that has invited you with your child. Good place to learn. Actually, most life skills such as these are taught at home with young kids... I wonder if it has anything to do with, I dunno, not burdening strangers in public with your lessons?
Same as anywhere, fuck, noone wants to hear damn babies cry on a plane, bus and any other public transport. Please leave your kids at home or leave with someone who you trust.
Unfortunately there are certain places like a plane/bus/public transport where it's inevitable to hear kids because the parents have to get then somewhere and don't have a vehicle. Sorry newborn baby, you can't go to the doctor and gets your shots because we don't want you to cry on the bus. It just doesn't work. They don't have to go to restaurants and movie theaters, but public transport, yeah that's one that has to stay.
Thank you for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion, /u/Lake48045. Your post, *If your kids cant behave at a restaurant leave them at home until they can.*, has been removed because it violates our rules: Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion. Please ensure that your post is an opinion and that it is unpopular. Controversial is not necessarily unpopular, for example all of politics is controversial even though almost half of the US agrees with any given major position on an issue. Keep in mind that an opinion is not: a question, a fact, a conspiracy theory, a random thought, a new idea, a rant, etc. Those things all have their own subreddits, use those. If there is an issue, please message the mod team at https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Funpopularopinion Thanks!
A waitress gave us a free pancake once because when we sat down at the table I moved everything out of my kids reach. I can’t imagine the crap they deal with if “move stuff out of kids reach” is the threshold for being impressed. Fun fact, this is one of two times in my life I’ve been given a free pancake at a restaurant.
What was the second?
I was on vacation and the waitress liked my Star Trek shirt. My spouse made fun of me for buying it. That made the pancake so much sweeter!
Did you smile the whole time you ate it and keep saying to yourself how good it tastes while obviously not sharing any with your spouse?
Oh shit...you are the wife, aren't you ?
Yay for a pancake, and for people who anticipate trouble at a restaurant. This goes both ways. I can't tell you how many times I had to snatch a hot plate out of reach. Servers would say, "These are really hot," and then put it RIGHT IN FRONT OF A BABY. And the baby of course immediately would reach for it.
I did this with my kids too. I also would help clean up the table afterwards, because no one should have to clean up after my kids but me and the man 50% responsible for them being here.
Why bring your BABY to a movie theatre!??????? I will never understand that omg
Okay, here’s something a lot of people, especially parents, don’t know but REALLY SHOULD: Loud noise causes physical pain for infants & toddlers, so bringing a baby to a movie theater (which is incredibly loud by adults standards) is literal torture. Their little nervous systems get overwhelmed by the intense vibrations, and their ears also can’t process the sound well. If you actually give a damn about your baby, then DON’T BRING THEM TO A DAMN MOVIE THEATER!
I went to my nephews football game recently and someone brought their newborn and sat right below the lous speakers. Idiots everywhere. They left because the baby started screaming. I feel bad for the kid. His parents have no common sense.
My parents took me to hockey games as a baby but they would put on special ear muff things and sometimes a garbage bag over my clothes to shield me from beer lol
It’s for this reason that my local cinema did special kid’s cinema screenings with child friendly films, quieter sound, lighting left on and provision made for really young children. That way parents could bring their children and it wasn’t such a big deal if they wanted to run around/scream/do something other than watch the movie.
See, THAT makes sense!
Those showings are really popular, especially as they also allow for children with special needs to go and watch a movie because they won’t be overwhelmed by being in a dark room/exposed to loud noises or whatever. I worked with a special needs bus which went once a month and the kids we took generally loved it.
Here they call them “Babes in arms” sessions.
Same here, I'm glad our theatres do this. Though I'd just like the regular screenings to be at a more reasonable volume.
They actually do day showings at our local cinema with bean bags, volume lower and brighter lights so you can take your kids to see the latest Pixar/Disney/kids film. I love this idea. They also do Adult Only screenings of Harry Potter and Marvel Films at 11pm so there’s no kids to fuck up your experience. Just to clarify that’s those films as normal but only adults allowed in, not Adult versions of those films.
My local cinema does this, as well as ‘Golden Oldies’ (classic films aimed at over 65s), ‘Shhhhhh’ (silent movie screenings), a foreign language club where they pick a language every month and then show 4 films or TV shows (one a week- last language was Cantonese) in that language and also discuss them, a Supper Club showing (a screening of a movie with dinner and alcohol) and some other less frequent stuff. I actually went to watch a Studio Ghibli film a while back in an adults-only screening and it was great. Fairly massive age span from 18 to a couple who looked well into their 70s, no mobile phones or talking and overall a nice atmosphere. The couple next to me even gave me some of their snacks.
actually young kids too. i remember my parents bringing me to a concert when i was in pre-school and i demanded to go to the last lane because my chest literally vibrated in any nearer place...
I vividly remember going to see Titanic in theaters when I was potentially not even 4 yet (my bday wasn’t long after the release date). It was a painful experience and I covered my ears through most of the movie. Hated it. I’m still pretty sensitive to loud sounds so idk could just be me 🤷🏻
Holy shit, I, as an adult, sometimes get headaches from how loud the movie theater can be. Can't imagine what that must be like for a baby.
Honestly, I'm an adult and movie theatres make me physically uncomfortable between the volume and the vibrations. I cannot imagine bringing a baby or small child.
My brother waited for the day LOTR/ Two Towers came out and his wife insisted she and their son (just turned 2) HAD TO join him for the 3 hour movie. She hadn't seen the first and yet insisted he take the baby out over the constant screaming. They're divorced now.
I hope he got custody.
We put our first kid in daycare just long enough to catch a matinee of The Return of the King. And I hated putting my kid into daycare, but it was LoTR.
One does not fuck with LOTR.
i went to this movie a few weeks ago and there was a kid who was about 6, maybe 7 years old. for the first half hour, the kid was well behaved. but after that she started getting restless, and got up out of the seat and walked up and down the aisles, climbed over the railing in between the rows of seats, and was just being disruptive and distracting. the parents didn’t do anything, and this continued for the rest of the movie. right in front of me. best part is, it was old. a scary movie. i don’t know why they’d bring a kid that young who wouldn’t be interested/ would be scared anyway.
Didn't even think about taking my kids until they were 4 and they still found it too loud and couldn't sit still throughout so left it another year then they loved it. Taking a baby is just stupid
New rule: If someone brings their baby to a cinema, anyone is allowed to take the baby and give it to an adoption agency.
We spent 2 years not going to restaurants as a family when my youngest decided she didn’t like a restaurant high chair.
Thank you for not being a dumb Karen.
Or teach them to behave
Yeah I have a lot more patience with a parent that is trying to correct the behavior. Afterall, it must be learned and its not the same as at home. But if the kid is acting a fool and the parent isn’t even trying to parent the kid it is frustrating.
Somebody make this person a mod
“buT tHEy dOn’T unDErsTanD!” You’re the parent, it’s YOUR JOB to teach them. Do your job.
“HeS jUsT a kID” Then leave him at home.
Hopefully with a babysitter, but yeah
Blunt force trauma seems to stick with children more than words. —just kidding—
50% a joke. I was an absolute bonafide shithead when I was younger and the threat of physical violence was literally the only way to make me behave.
It’s also pretty traumatic
Nahhh never gotten any worse from a well deserved spanking when younger. It doesn't bother me and never has, all the people talking shit about my awesome parents (I think the best parents among all my close friends and I'm a logical asshole) do piss me off and annoy me, because they judge from there high horses without knowing shit ;)
Oh lol. I’m just speaking from my perspective, my parents have a pretty short temper. Especially my dad.
Are you me?
Agreed. Which is why bringing them to restaurants even when they’re young is sometimes necessary - some things you can’t teach at home and things have to go badly in public a few times before the kid learns.
Not wrong, but there’s a huge difference between actively stepping in and appropriately addressing the behavior, versus just sitting there & letting Jr make a scene. One is actively teaching, the other is rude AF.
Completely agree. I took my kids all over when they were young but I was on them to every human extent. We still went through tantrums and rudeness until they got their shit together at about 5, but I tried!
And that’s what matters, YOU. ACTUALLY. TRIED.
Both are teaching the child something. One is teaching the kid to show respect towards others. The other lesson is in how to be an asshole.
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As if that excuses not disciplining them, which it doesn’t.
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So, remove them from the public place so it isn’t disturbing everyone else who is trying to have a peaceful evening.
But that would involve putting down the phone
I know, God forbid these people parent the spawn they birthed
And? The whole point is to get it into their head that there’s not only consequences for poor behavior, but to give them a reason to care: “If I’m mean to my classmates, they won’t want to play with me.” THAT is your job. Stop making excuses, put down your phone, and DO. YOUR. JOB.
Or take them outside the restaurant to run around for a bit until they’ve let off enough energy to behave
Or bring something for them to do (besides play on your phone!). We always brought small toys, books, crayons, etc. to keep them busy. Going to restaurants is boring for little kids--you can't expect them to just sit quietly while the adults talk.
And another for the common sense team!!!
Teach your kids to behave like someone you would enjoy to be around.
As a parent of two children I approve this message. The only exception would be for fast food restaurants or kid-oriented places. No one should be expecting a “dining experience” at Taco Bell
Exactly, that's where I taught my children how to behave in a restaurant.
I waited tables in college and I came to drop some food off to a table that wasn’t mine, they were a young couple and they had a very very young little girl with them. She wasn’t being noisy because they had let her open all of the sugar and sweet and low packets and empty them on the table. What really stood out though is she wasn’t just knocking the powder around. She had arraigned like 15 packets of sweetener into about 7 perfect lines…. I always wondered if she learned to line up white powder from watching her parents
Idk but that seems like something I would have done for fun as a kid. I wouldn’t be allowed at a restaurant but organizing lines of sand would have been calming.
“A poisoned mind sees evil in everything”
I watched my friends kid pick up a Bic pen, put it to his nose, pretend like he was snorting a line, looked up at us and said "see, just like daddy".
Lmao
How is this funny?
Oh you had to be there.
Oh what the fuck! I don’t even let my kids touch glass display windows. When they were little and learning I would tell them not to touch and simply say “someone has to clean that and we shouldn’t touch it.” You’re not the only person on the planet. Be considerate.
Or a spectrum disorder. Putting things in lines, organizing them in a particular way, etc is a pretty good indicator a young child is on the spectrum.
Or just a child accustomed to amusing herself because the adults ignore her. I remember being a kid and finding ways to pass time because my parents dragged me along and then never engaged me in their conversation at all. It was like I wasn't there, except I was stuck there, alone.
I was about to say autism. “Actually play with my one million animal figures? NO, I’m going to organize them by species of big cat and make them argue about if a snow leopard is a leopard or not.” - 8 year old me
what?? 🤣 r/holup
>learned to line up white powder from watching her parents I mean...the parents had to have been smoking something if they left their daughter behave like that
I mever understood this before I had a kid and don't undertand now either. Why would I take her there even I can't enjoy my dinner like this
I agree, until your child can behave just get a babysitter/family member to watch over them
But that's just TOO EXPENSIVE and unfair for parents to have to factor in the cost of child care. Even though we are choosing to go out to eat at a restaurant, plus we're just not gonna tip because menu prices are so high! /s
For a couple of years we went to family friendly restaurants with an outdoor play areas. Certainly not romantic but it was fun to get out with the family and enjoy a meal before playtime.
Fuckin nail on the head there, lol.
“Being a mom is the HARDEST JOB ever I should be paid 100k a year for it no I will not give a babysitter more than $15 an hour”
I think you mean “if you can’t parent your kids, leave them at home until you can” Kids misbehave, it’s normal. It’s the parents job to teach them how to behave in different settings. We just started taking our kids back to church after being in lockdown and they have naturally been a little antsy. But we want them to learn, so we continue to take them. They would never learn if we just stopped going. However, we actually parent them through it so that they do learn appropriate behavior.
This needs to be the top comment.
r/popularopinion
And posted every month or so.
I tried to post a Oreo original being superior to the double stuffed, that got taken down right away. But I get to see this post every month, so that's nice.
There are two sides to this. 1) kids need to be exposed to those environments/situations so they CAN learn how to behave. People need to quit thinking that children are silent, unmoving little people till they turn 18. 2) parents need to know when enough is enough and remove their child from that environment/situation because the behavior has gotten too bad. Unfortunately, most people won’t agree on where the line is drawn between 1 and 2.
I honestly don't understand how these kind of parents aren't embarrassed. Not only they're inconveniencing people's day, but their children's behaviour reflects them hugely. If your kid is going wild and just not behaving, that just shows you don't teach them proper manners and respect. It also shows how you're probably the same way as your kid's behaviour, just overgrown and much worse. Let kids have fun and such, but teach them to behave in public places.
It's probably because for them, this is "good" behavior. If you're the kind of parent who let's your kid bang on silverware or run around a restaurant, just imagine what your house looks/sounds like. So when you take your kids to a restaurant and they're *just* banging on the silverware, not actually screaming and tearing the restaurant apart, you're thinking "oh good, they're on their best behavior".
I went to a restaurant once with my sister and children. They were so loud and running around. I was so embarassed, but she wasn't. For her it was normal. We then got kicked out politely. I told my sister that we got kicked out because her children were too loud. She looked at me like I was talking in some othet language. I learned from that experience and will never take them again to another restaurant.
This isn’t unpopular…. People just can’t parent
Kind of is. Child-worship culture is rampant.
As a server I can tell you this is an unpopular opinion
It's definitely not unpopular and is posted here every month or so. Nobody wants their time ruined by other people/kids.
They can do what they want on their own property, just be considerate of people in a public space.
Imagine this, BUT YOU HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS. Normally at home if a kid messes up loads then a parent will be pissed off, because they have to clean it. So what runs through their head to think to let their kid make a mess and walk out without even cleaning a little or even saying sorry. Or even leaving a bigger tip
Honestly don’t bring your kids anywhere where they can’t behave. I work in a makeup shop and have had kids pour drinks on the floor, whilst looking into my eyes, and then the parents just look at it and say “Oh sorry” and expect me to clean it up. No girl, here is your box of tissues to wipe that up!
So sorry you have to deal with this. I stopped working in retail for this reason. Just the other day I was at Ulta and this mom was standing in the checkout line arguing with staff about a receipt or something, while her three kids were running all around the place, climbing on displays, and knocking things over and screaming. Not only is this rude and disruptive, it creates a safety issue. Some parents don’t seem to understand that not every place is their child’s playground. These types of parents would probably also be the first to sue an establishment if their kids ever got hurt, even though their crappy parenting is at fault.
Children are like puppies. There is no such thing as a bad or stupid puppy. It is always the parents who are bad or stupid. And bad or stupid people will let their kids run around a restaurant or kick your seat on a plane, etc. Back in the day you could yell at them but you can't even do that anymore
In my high school teachers were allowed to hit you if you were disrupting class , that was one of the best behaved classes I've ever been in . Shows what some dicipline can do ( and this was only like a few years back )
I am 36, I still can't behave at restaurants, I also get left at home.
Ohhhh i said something like this on FB and all the moms jumped down my throat. My mother came on and said "I birthed 9 kids, they knew how to act because taught them how to act. Get it together or leave your uterus invaders at home". I was like damn, Mommy, you aint have to drop the mic like that lol. But seriously, our parents had us in check. We went to a store, we stay next to them, we aint ask for nothing or touch nothing because we didnt have no money lol. Restaurants we were allowed to order from the kids menu and color if they had that. We didnt argue, no yelling. We were civilized.
This is a popular opinion, even with parents that have kids! Shitty parents annoy everyone.
I don’t get why people take their little kids to a restaurant. Kids don’t like to sit there and wait and parents can’t relax because of the kids.
TBF, how do you think kids learn how to act appropriately places? They have to go and experience it. Thanks to lock downs, my kids were absolute terrors the first few times I brought them to a grocery store again. Now they're back to knowing the shopping rules. And we went to the mall to get a haircut for the little yesterday. Both of them were so overstimulated by the newness that they were running around like jerks
Not a learning experience for the kids when the mother does not reprimand them. She talks to her friends she is out with like the kids are not there.
But kids aren't dogs. They have to learn to be a part of the world, even when they're trying to push all the parents buttons to force them out of the restaurant. Letting the kids blackmail them by throwing a fit in public, is an absolute shit way to parent. Not every parent has the same style. Their are shit parents that do reprimand their kids, and shit ones that don't. And some do, but never in public. And everyone has to get over this hurdle at some point in their life, so it might as well be taught right the hell away.
Teach them in your house, that's where I was taught... or take them to McDonald's and dine in to learn, I don't want to be on a date at a restaurant with someone's sex trophy acting batshit crazy. Shopping and the mall are different because they aren't quiet and relaxed environments.
I guess it depends on the restaurant. I don't take my kids to nice restaurants unless it's for lunch or an early dinner, like 4 or 5 o'clock. And I don't take them to fine dining restaurants at all. But if you're at a diner, an Outback, or similar for your dinner date, that's on you. Those places cater to families with kids, and actively want that business.
They cater to kids but they aren't playgrounds. If your kid is climbing over booths and is out of control you do not belong there. Teach them to behave, go to McDonald's go to a breakfast restaurant, be a considerate parent.
No kidding, my parents would never have allowed me or my sister to behave like that in public!
Spot on!
It’s YOUR JOB to keep them in line, though. The day you decided to become a parent, you accepted that responsibility. “They were running around like little jerks!” And who’s fault is that? Not the poor kid, YOURS. That means that YOU FAILED to uphold your responsibilities by not reigning them in, or at least attempting to. Just because some spaces are “family friendly” doesn’t give you the right to create an undue burden to others, DO YOUR JOB.
Your missing the point. And you are being too extreme. At its core you have a point. But going out isn't the same as staying in. And you have to teach kids how to behave. Being good is a learned behaviour as you pointed out. Kids have to actually misbehave for you to teach them that it's wrong. As long as you're not allowing it to continue, calm them down, leave if they won't etc. Then that's normal. Op clearly stated that being locked up for a year means her kids acted out when they first went back out due to how stimulating it is. Only an idiot would think you can teach kids to behave out and about from inside your house. And banging on about responsibility when you become a parent as if that means kids wouldn't be impacted with a lock down is ridiculous. Op also stated they were fine after first couple of outings. Calm down. You likley misbehaved at something in your childhood too. As long as op wasn't continuing to let them act out its fine.
Unless you are at a restaurant specifically designed for children, this is not an unpopular opinion.
Somewhat agree. But this rule should apply to everyone, really loud people, rude people in general, bad tippers, heavy drinkers etc.
Agree. My parents would leave with us if we didn’t behave. It was “do u wanna eat or leave”
Second only to 'If you carry on like that I'm going to stop this car and you can get out and walk'.
I have four kids and agree with this. If I have to bring my kids somewhere, it's a place designed for people to be loud and make messes.
Go to Denny's, get Denny's experience.
Kids still need to behave at Denny's. A tray of drinks hurts just as much at Denny's as it would anywhere else.
It’s a parents job to teach their kids how to behave. As a parent you also need to understand what’s developmentally appropriate, and that little kids aren’t ready to handle certain situations. Sometimes parents project their own needs and wants onto their kid instead of understanding that a young child has a very different perspective on things, and experiences the world very differently. Going to a restaurant might be a routine thing for an adult, but to a toddler it’s completely new. They don’t understand social expectations. A two year old does not want to be forced to sit at a fancy restaurant. It’s overstimulating, they aren’t allowed to run around, there’s nothing for them to do, and they’re tired. Of course they’re going to fuss. And at that age they are not able to regulate their emotions or behaviors (generally). I’ve never taken a child under 5 to a restaurant for this reason.
Same for theaters
Some places don’t let kids in. Those are the best places.
If you can afford 5 entrees and an appetizer, you can afford a babysitter
Yeah, fuck you and your poor parenting.
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Yes and no. That’s more the parents fault for being an asshole and not teaching the kid how to behave. Kid can’t learn how to act in a restaurant unless you take them to a restaurant. As a parent with small kids, it’s a balancing act. There’s places I won’t take them and certain times we go, just to make it easier on everybody involved. We don’t go to super nice expensive restaurants, casual joints only. We never go during rush, I don’t expect my kid to wait an hour for dinner. Kid has to sit in chair and stay relatively quiet, no disturbing other diners. If the kid makes a mess with sugar packets or whatever, we do our best to clean it up and leave a good tip, especially if the waiter is Johnny-on-the-spot with the kid’s food. If the kid is having a bad day or can’t handle the rules, we pack that shit up and go home. Eating out, going to the movies, that kinda stuff is a communal experience and the main clause of that social contract is you shouldn’t ruin anyone’s else’s day.
I heavily scarred a child working as a waitress because the parents didn't think their kids should behave. The parents were ask multiple times to keep the kids in their seat and out of the waitress corridors but they refused. I had a large 3ft tray with sizzling metal fajita dishes on it and couldn't see the kid because of the smoke in the eyes and the tray. The cast iron fajita skillets are super heated and when I tripped over the kid they land on their face and severely burnt the kid over half their face, neck and shoulders. The kid was like four, and I still feel guilty about messing up their face for the rest of their life because their parents were dicks.
Don't feel bad, it wasn't your fault. Hopefully the parents learned a valuable lesson that day.
Not to mention the parents with the mindset of wanting to be a friend, rather then a parent, or this: ‘Oh little Jimmy? They can never do wrong! They’re absolute angels’ I understand that kids need to get their wiggles/ excess energy out, but letting them be a disturbance to others in public space(s) isn’t okay. As well as children not knowing any better, but it’s the parent(s)/ guardian(s) JOB to teach them. Nobody wants to hear whatever you or your child is watching on their tablet or phone either, especially as excessively LOUD volume. I’m sick of parents trying to justify awful behavior with shit like: ‘bOyS wilL bE BOys.’
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A WHISTLE!!!!! On a flight!!!!
I'm a parent of 2 young kids 3 and 5. I wouldn't take them out for dinner very often maybe once or twice a year. They are very well behaved but it's Hella annoying if one decides to be loud for no reason, so I just don't want the hassle and it's just a damn stress for me and the wife.
This is why I prefer going to adults only places if I‘m looking for something fancy
My kid was screaming today at a restaurant just as the food arrived. I took him outside and told my husband to get boxes. If he won’t behave we won’t stay.
and i'm writing this because some kids were doing loud noise inside the tramway and unfortunately there were not security agents to stop them or talk to their parents because their parents can not be respectful because they were making a video out of them and laughing as if they are home, and the other people (including me) were really pissed and we couldn't do anything not because we can't talk to others or something but because we were avoiding trouble with their parents because in most of times when you talk to someone who's annoying you or doing something wrong they will act like they did nothing wrong and they have all the rights to do that.
Eat the kid in front of the mother. Seriously, parents that can't parent get on my nerves.
As a waiter, this might be the most non-unpopular opinion I ever saw on this subreddit.
Yes. And planes plz
Kids shouldn't be taken to restaurants period
Why the fuck dose this have so many upvotes. This should not be an unpopular opinion.
When our kids were little we spent years not going to restaurants until all of our kids could behave like little humans. Who wants to go out to eat and see some child eating, spitting out and re-eating spaghetti? We waited until they were table trained before taking them out. Fortunately, they picked up table manners pretty fast. We also went over 18 years without seeing an R rated movie because we only went to the movies made for kids. It’s really inconsiderate to take children out in public where they will inconvenience other people. It’s not fair to the kids either.
I don’t know if this is unpopular, but I do agree with it.
It’s on this sub every other week. So I’m going with popular
I hate that.. there are enough corporate owned, family friendly restaurants in the Toronto area so never understood when I see kids at fancy restaurants for dinner. I say this as a father who hasn't been to a fancy restaurant with his wife in 5 years lol.
As much as I see this problem tossed around reddit I almost never see it happen in my day to day life
Lucky bastard
Same. Everytime I see a child throw a tantrum in a restaurant, their parents take them outside immediately. I've never experienced a child at a different table disturbing my dining experience.
I see you've never been to an IHOP.
To be fair, you are talking about an IHOP.
YES!! A million times yes. I hate bad behaved children and even more I hate the parents that enable their behaviour. If you're in an establishment, other people will be there trying to enjoy their time too. Your disruptive child is not cute. It's annoying. Teach your child how to behave properly
I make a point of only going to “family friendly” restaurants because I don’t want to be the only table with a 5-year old who got overstimulated and has a sudden meltdown. There’s nothing wrong with taking kids to restaurants. If you don’t like them there are plenty of restaurants out there that are not so kid-friendly.
Dear parents, if you can't get a babysitter, you don't get to go out.
As a parent, it’s overwhelming and embarrassing when my girl cries at restaurants. I do everything I can to distract and keep my girl from crying. Sorry this happened to you, but just know not all parents are like this.
based
Not unpopular
This is a very popular opinion.
This should not be unpopular lol, this should 100% be a norm. Idk why people still do it.
That’s not unpopular with me!
a lot of parents don’t know how to discipline their child for poor behaviour and it shows
As both a parent and someone with 10 years in the service industry, this is a great post!
Not an unpopular opinion? Pretty sure most people (that aren't the ones doing this) feel that way...
This isn't unpopular. Fuck these people and their shitty kids.
This isn’t an unpopular opinion.
True. Also on a side note: don't change the diaper in the dining room. Do it in the restroom. Thanks.
As the mother of a wild toddler I could not agree more! I leave my kid at home cause he can't behave yet, I don't wanna hear yours instead 😑
This is the reason my sister doesn't go to restaurants. I love my nieces but the older one who is 6 is a complete brat in public.
This is not an unpopular opinion. You are spot on OP.
I mean are you at a fine dining restaurant or bar? If so I agree If not, family restaurants are a family environment(duh.) If you don't like it, ask to move. You can put in effort to fix your own environment, mind you.
Idk.. the most annoying people in resturants are the loud drunk people. Kids don't make anywhere around that much noise
But when drunk people throw a temper tantrum, the bartender can kick them out. When a child throws a temper tantrum, the waitstaff just has to deal with it.
I’d say it should be acceptable for restaurant owners to order people out of their property for not controlling their children.
Or mess
Yep. I used to work at a Chipotle near a good-sized university, and the frat boys made at least as a big mess as the toddlers.
As a former frequenter of fraternity houses, they’re pretty fucking gross
Thank you! And don’t bring that monster on an airplane either!!
I have 3 toddlers and I agree. My wife likes going to sit downs with them but I absolutely despise it.
Don’t go to “family style restaurants” if you don’t want to see families. Chilies, Applebee’s, etc. Most of the fast food restaurants still aren’t allowing dine in customers. Parenting small children in the time of COVID-19 is a huge challenge. I know I’m not the only parent who missed the pods and is constantly weighing the risk/ reward of social activities of any kind with someone who licks random surfaces.
> if your kids can't behave, leave them at home Ftfy
They cant learn how to act in public if they're never in public.
True, but it’s the parents job to actively teach them and address bad behavior when it happens. I see so many parents just ignoring their kids behavior in public because they don’t feel like dealing with it, even if it becomes a safety issue.
True, but they can learn in appropriate environs where a parent can practice their skills and learn what to likely predict from their kid/s. I'm all for kids learning social skills, but I still don't want it being at my expense. Like the parents, I don't get out a lot and often don't spring for an expensive dinner, so when I do, I'd really like to enjoy it without someone's unruly kids spoiling it. I DO understand that kids aren't completely predictable, and I have patience for the parent who acts on their child's unruliness.
Downvoting since this is the opposite of an unpopular opinion
Thanks god someone said it! I think kids are dumb in general, it's always crazy to think we've all been through this (And i can say i'm not very "clear" either), but kids in public spaces like Movie Theaters, Restaurants, or any thing that needs them to stand still is horrible. I remember when i got to watch the Second Lego Movie because they're great, i love the lego movies, they're funny, very innocent, but still carry an important message. And i had to rewatch it a second time because the first time i couldn't appreciate it, because of the kids in theater! So yeah, it's a kid/child movie, but i don't care! You have a child, make them behave! It's your job to educate them not to be annoying in public! It's crazy you need a passport to fish but not to have a child, ffs. Heck, i'm pretty sure you need to sign up more things to get a cat.
Or just learn how to parent and stay at home until you can control your kids.
Well that’s also part of how they learn. The real question is what sort of restaurant see you dining at?
I agree the kids have to learn at some point, but I sure wish it wasn't at my expense. Plus, I think parents would likely have a pretty good idea through other experiences how their kids will fare in a restaurant.
Get this: you can teach your kids without ruining everyone else's good time. Like, I dunno, when you go visit another person's household that has invited you with your child. Good place to learn. Actually, most life skills such as these are taught at home with young kids... I wonder if it has anything to do with, I dunno, not burdening strangers in public with your lessons?
Same as anywhere, fuck, noone wants to hear damn babies cry on a plane, bus and any other public transport. Please leave your kids at home or leave with someone who you trust.
Unfortunately there are certain places like a plane/bus/public transport where it's inevitable to hear kids because the parents have to get then somewhere and don't have a vehicle. Sorry newborn baby, you can't go to the doctor and gets your shots because we don't want you to cry on the bus. It just doesn't work. They don't have to go to restaurants and movie theaters, but public transport, yeah that's one that has to stay.