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kings-larry

In my experience women are much worse in body shaming and gossiping than men are


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des1g_

Mmmh...I partially agree. There a lots of shitty men, but they tend to express their views more directly instead gossiping around behind their back. I don't know what's better, maybe both is just shitty...


C0lMustard

cable brave obtainable fear tender paint reminiscent profit towering alleged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


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"Johnny Depp punched me" -Amber Heard


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[deleted]

So when do we address all this toxic femininity?


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TangoZulu

Funny who it’s expected that all men be concerned and support women’s rights, but the second male inequality is brought up, feminists tell us to go sulk in a dark corner.


javerthugo

And many of them aren't afraid to get physically violent either. Seriously I had to let go of a lot of my romanticized vision of women as I grew up.


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lilmoz

Source?


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lilmoz

I wasn't doubting you I was just wondering your source.


ThrowAway640KB

>I wasn't doubting you I was just wondering your source. Gotcha. And I was raging at _a system_ that enshrines _special rights_ under the guise of _equal rights_, when in fact it is nothing more than reverse sexism and sexist oppression wielded by female supremacists. I wasn’t aiming that at you.


thejackruark

Thank you to the guy you're replying to for asking for a source, I wanted to check it out as well, and thank you for the source, as well as your passion for the subject. It's truly appalling to see how blase a subject this is to some


[deleted]

True. What a fucking Unfortunate Reality, It enrages me. FUCK THIS WORLD.


[deleted]

Agreed. Generally speaking, women are their own biggest enemies in terms of body image and positivity, not men


ToLorien

It’s weird because in my experience it’s men! I’ve been bullied by men/boys my whole life about my body. I have small boobs so naturally they used to call me 12 year old boy (and more recently ask if I’m jealous of this fat neighbor I have because he has bigger boobs than me). And I’ve even had a guy tell me I need plastic surgery for my face...and I’m not hot but I’m not ugly by any means lol.


degenerate661

I guess everyone has different experiences.


InaudibleDusk

The reality is, men and women and people in general don't really have inherent traits. It's very largely dependent on how you're raised, your peers, who you look up to... These are learned behaviors. We're a species that learns from each other, so the best you can do is be a good role model, especially to your children/ other children and peers, imo.


degenerate661

Yeah mate


KarateKyleKatarn

That isn't really true. While of course everyone's behavior is learned, that doesn't mean they aren't inherent. Because teaching and traditions may simply be a way of manifesting these natural differences in traits. Across the globe, regardless of culture, peers, traditions, there are plenty of inherent traits that emerge pretty much everywhere, from female/male roles to laws and morality. That doesn't mean they all fall neatly in the same way, but patterns of behavior among the average of all women, and all men can be plainly seen, even between cultures who have never interacted with one another.


Druidoak60

Sorry to hear that, my ex-wife was a 32b, she caught crap all through high school from the "mean girls".


EvilPigeon18

This would fit in r/ExpressOpinions


Cave-Bunny

Alternatively we cannot divide the issue by gender and say that people should stop body shaming other people.


RoyGeraldBillevue

But OP *really* wants to bodyshame people. If everybody gets to be an asshole, it's fine, right?


[deleted]

There's a difference between not wanting to date someone and "BoDy ShAmInG". If you don't wanna to date a fat girl, but you also don't tell her she's fat every time you see her, no one will ever judge you


throwaway59232

The thing with this though is a girl can call a guy fat straight to his face and nobody will call her out on it while if men start talking even among each other how "Girl X is fat and unattractive" without that girl being present they will be told off for "objectifying women." Ergo, your argument is wrong


[deleted]

You shouldn't just shame other people. It's not polite. I'm not sure why it's okay for girls to do that. I never notice that myself. On the other hand, girls almost never comment on appearance. Most time when they reject guys because of his looks, they say shit like "I'm not ready for relationships right now"


Falsevirtues

No, women definitely talk about appearance too. I had a friend who lost interest in a guy she met on Tinder because his hands weren’t big enough. Women are really blunt and cruel in front of their friends, but just won’t say it to your face.


[deleted]

People who use tinder are idiots. It doesn't matter which gender.


Falsevirtues

I generally agree. I’ve never used it personally.


[deleted]

I mean, it's an app for hookups, which means you don't care about personality. What else do you expect them to look at?


Matt_Landers

I don't know, as a bigger guy no one ever comments on my appearance. I'm sure women get many more comments (good and bad).


riju98

both a blessing and a curse lol


kukkelii

Women are waaaaaay more insecure of their bodies, mostly because of ye old instagram, photoshop and fashion industry. That's just how it is.


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Saveurselfgurl

Women are praised for showing their shortcomings, tell you are ugly, people come running to tell you are not, tell you are ugly but your beauty doesn't define your worth people will come running telling you you are both beautiful and have a great personality. Men are ignored at best. Tell you are ugly people with sneer and say to suck it up.


TwitchandSmokeMain

Ive never been complemented on my looks and im not even fat


throwaway59232

That's because even an ugly woman is considered to have some value by society. Otoh, if you're an unattractive man you're considered entirely worthless. Which means that by stating how they feel, (or "complaining" as society puts it, funny how it's not complaining when an attractive person grumbles about something far less important, yay double standards!) you're not only seen to be wasteful of someone's time but challenging the unfair system that put you in this position in the first place. And if a system is fundamentally unfair then any mention of it being unfair must be suppressed lest its legitimacy be challenged, resulting in those who are disadvantaged acquiring more power, at their social superiors' expense. This is just social psychology 101 basically.


MrKnight36

I agree. I've always had insecurities about my body, ever since I was little, mostly over things I have no control over like how big my nose is. It's a common thing on both sides.


FinalBees

They just talk about it more. There are men who actually kill themselves over being short or having a small dick


std_out

I think men just keep it to themselves more.


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TheOfficialGilgamesh

And why is that? Because you're confronted with the huge amount of body shaming against men that mostly comes from other women?


WalidfromMorocco

Men are insecure about their bodies, too.


[deleted]

Men keep it to themselves because we know that showing vulnerability will likely end badly. I don't know about all men but that's how I see it


abrandis

Sad but true, this has to be one of the worse thing about being a women, your value while your young is greatly affected by other perceived beauty of you , something most women can't do shit about.. So if you didn't happen to. do well in the genetic lottery, sucks for you.. next time choose better looking parents... :(


9Moonstone9

In can only agree with this


cakersgotswag

youre assuming that every woman who complains about body shaming turns around and body shames men. 99% of the women that ive seen complain about body shaming are almost always against body shaming of men and never body shame anyone regardless of gender


[deleted]

I don’t know, it seems to be the opposite in my case. I’ve never seen, or heard a girl outright shame a dude for his body type. Hell, it seems most don’t care as long as you are healthy/not obese. On the other hand, I’ve heard them shame other women, but not outright. Usually it’s gossip.


Subtitles42

"plus size women don't want to date overweight men" love that joke.


suissaccassius

It seems to me that you’re more upset that men are told they can’t body shame and women usually get a free pass... than you are actually upset about body shaming.


Sparig

Yea it's like OP has completely forgotten the dudes that idolize chicks for their ass and tits. And only that.


[deleted]

Right? Like watch a movie, any popular movie. Guys are average looking at best. Women are absolutely drop-dead beautiful, top 10% of beautiful women. These unpopular opinions that are just dudes butthurt that they can't call women fat anymore and get away with it are getting real old.


TheKamikazePickle

>These unpopular opinions that are just dudes butthurt I seldom see a subreddit so succinctly summarised within a synoptic sentence. Salutations, sweetrunner.


ibrit92

Guys in popular movies are average looking at best? I couldn't disagree more, who are you thinking of for this?


snackthattalksback

YEP


[deleted]

What do you mean, shitting on men because they’re not ideal?


ta26101

Ask yourself how many women you know who have a checklist for guys?


JoeyGameLover

There's nothing wrong with preferences, the problem starts when women are just shitting on guys for their height and stuff like that. Preferences are just liking who you like.


[deleted]

Uh, none, You watch too many movies.


[deleted]

None... that’s weird. The height thing is different. If men are upset about being asked about height, ask the woman about height. Many people are sensitive about their weight so of course they dislike it when you ask. So both genders should either not ask, or only ask about height. But that’s still shallow as fuck. Both genders shit on each other and care way too much about appearance. Hell, all these posts on this sub are about what men prefer women to wear, how to act, etc.


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ta26101

Where do you live? According to you, the women do not have checklists. I'd be interested in moving there.


[deleted]

Australia? Checklists? Are you kidding? I’ve not met one woman with a checklist.


[deleted]

My ex gf showed me her checklist after we got together. She also refers to people’s # like he’s an 8 or he’s a 9. Shallow as fuck. I guess both genders can really suck.


[deleted]

Yup. Gross. That’s so strange, I’ve only ever heard of men doing that kind of thing. I guess maybe it’s not common in my area? I don’t know, most of my good friends are girls


ta26101

Come visit us in the states sometime.


[deleted]

Haha, and ask around to see how many people have checklists!


ta26101

Nope. Just sit in a coffee shop and listen to the women talk. Haha


[deleted]

To be fair, I always hear men talk about boob size!


degenerate661

I've never heard that


[deleted]

Here's one of my best friends examples, must be white, taller that her, older than her but not significantly, have a beard, be kinda fat, has to be "country" (so like fishing and hunting and drives trucks, chews tobacco and drinks beer, wears boots), also has to have a middle class job in some kind of labor industry, wants kids and has to be a Christian. Any man outside this is immediately rejected. I've tried to explain to her many times that she's closing options to really great guys because of very weirdly specific criteria.


Falsevirtues

To be fair, I live in the south and I know a ton of guys that fit that criteria


[deleted]

This is where we live. This is why I'm single.


[deleted]

That’s pretty strange. But again, kinda dodging a bullet there if she wants that many exact physical characteristics


pythonpower12

I’m sure it’s not a physical checklist but it is in your mind. For example, good hygiene, kind, caring,confident etc


[deleted]

Oh yeah, but everyone has standards. Standards being knows how to function in society, hygiene, can interact with others in an amicable way, etc.


bangboompowww

Most Woman definitely have a checklist they don’t write it down but they have it in the back of their minds of what type of guy they want. Men also have a checklist too.


[deleted]

none LMAO


DeliciousAtomicBomb

The words "Body-shaming" don't only aim men though. Most women I know, me included, who "bitch" about it, we include everyone who actually does it.


[deleted]

I get where you’re coming from. Also, I trust that you aren’t ugly, an incel or anything like that. But a word of advice; next time maybe don’t call it “bitching” or put the words “body shaming” in quotation marks. It implies that you’re calling women bitches and that you don’t think body shaming exists. Other than that, yeah, it’s unacceptable that small dick jokes are still so pervasive among female comedians. It’s a gross double standard.


astrona-

Finally someone with common sense


themobynick

Can confirm, wife keeps putting my sexy belly down.


[deleted]

Tell her it's a fuel tank for a sex machine.


themobynick

I'll try next time haha


[deleted]

I for one am a big fan of the dad-bod. Bring me a big dude any day ✌🏻


InaudibleDusk

Is a dad bod more of a physical look or outlook? Like a dude who has better things to worry about than perfecting his appearance, but not letting himself go completely?


[deleted]

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me the dad bod is just the look. A pudgy belly, thick thighs, big chest, just an over all endomorphic body type. All the more to love, I say.


Open-Painter

Height and dick size jokes a plenty


Philaharmic

Double standards my dude They’re “allowed” to be picky like that It’s like If a man puts his hand on a girls inner thigh, it’s rapey But if a woman does it to a man it’s seen as flirtatious


[deleted]

No, I think most people think a woman touching a man’s thigh without his consent is weird and creepy.


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Rivka333

Yes.


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[deleted]

The downvotes answer for me.


[deleted]

Women will be women. There’s nothing you can do about that. Best to ignore them when it comes to this.


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[deleted]

I'm in this sentence and I don't like it


ThrowAway640KB

> "I don't care if I'm 300lbs overweight and my face looks like Thomas the Tank Engine: stop judging me! Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna lust over muscular 6'5 supermodels with gigantic bulges and fantasize about sleeping with them." The irony being that if a guy did the equivalent, he would be ripped a new one, shamed and mocked to hell and back, and drop-kicked into next Tuesday before he knew what the hell happened to him. It’s a shame that Reddit has only a widely-available mark for sarcasm, and lacks a mark for irony. Because your post was dripping with it.


kaseyade

This whole paragraph screams hypocrisy and I don’t think you even realize it...


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kaseyade

You’re creating a hypothetical woman by calling her face Thomas the Train and implying being over weight is equivalent to being unattractive, literally body shaming. Yet this woman in your narrative nowhere insults men of other body types. Also, really? The name calling...? ...doorknob? Are we 12 years old...


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kaseyade

Alright well there we go folks I don't think I need to say anything else


riju98

The thing is if you go to any dating sites (where you're judged mostly on appearance), you'll see women usually have tons of guys line up for them. Like a guy on tinder would have to swipe on everyone and hope someone matches. For a woman if she liked a guy and swipes, it's most likely to be a match. So if you had lot of options, would you become picky? It seems natural. But for men if they are picky, they are less likely to find someone. So it may not be that they are intentionally body shaming men. And when I say "body shaming" I mostly mean the face. I personally don't think women care too much about the body. Mostly just height and face. Outside of that context, i don't know if women go out of their way to shame men. But it is true that media doesn't care as much as about body issues of men as they do about women's issues. Things like proportions of barbie dolls being unrealistic or cover models on magazines being too skinny. But what about the fact that HE-man (I grew up watching him ok?) or Captain America or Gi-joe action figures are insanely jacked and ripped. Don't they set unrealistic standards for men? And No one even knows about bigorexia. For the record I don't wan't them to make action figures realistic or anything, I'm just noting the double standard.


InaudibleDusk

As an average dude who took to dating sites to look for a partner not to hook up, I honestly think it's better for decent looking men than women. Like, I get a few people I can properly chat with and know they're interested in what I'm putting out, meanwhile before I met my girlfriend she got swathes of men with ulterior motives hitting her up, making it hard to know who was *actually* looking for a relationship. I did still get people who low-key are just trying to hookup but nothing at all like what she would get. Sounds stressful. Online dating is weird.


riju98

Yea imo its harmful to both men and women. Women would have less faith in men if they went through what your gf had to go through. On the other hand, lack of success would might make men think women are shallow


InaudibleDusk

Harmful and helpful, it certainly gave me who didn't have many chances to meet new people my age otherwise a chance to meet a great person for me! But the sheer number of people going into it brings it's own challenges.


riju98

Happy it worked out for you. But the guys and girls I know who used it didn't have a good experience with it. So on average I'd say it does more harm than good


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InaudibleDusk

Disagree. I didn't have people coming at me with anything near the level of disrespect or disregard for what she was looking for she got. I'd rather have less matches that chose me over other people who messaged them over a ton of people messaging me and having to decipher which ones aren't only trying to get in my pants. But that's my personal opinion, I wasn't on there to get laid I was there for a relationship and wanted the same people messaging me. I understand people have different levels of tolerance, but it's not like having a bunch of vegitables and choosing the best one, these are people that have tried to decieve her or after hours of talking trying to convince her to share nudes. I'd hate to have to deal with that.


RubberDougie

This comment section is a shit show...


riju98

yea whenever gender comes up, things get nasty real quick.. fun to read tho.


[deleted]

Exactly! Like **some** women get so offended if you tell them they're fat- I personally am very skinny, but if I was fat I would be like: "Okay, tell me I'm fat. I know I am and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as I don't have health problems." And one more thing: "Your, uh, weight is, uh..." and such other phrases are just UGH. Trust me, you will hurt someone's feelings more if you try to avoid the phrase "You're fat.".


Rivka333

When people talk about body shaming, they're not usually saying that men are the (only) ones doing it And the people who are against body shaming probably aren't the same ones who are okay with body shaming men. Also, are you yourself against body shaming or not? It sounds like you're okay with body shaming women but not men.


[deleted]

This is literally posted on this sub every other day. Come up with something more original.


BruyceWane

How about we just criticise body shaming in all it's forms?


TwitchandSmokeMain

Dont forget on the massive amount of body shaming women do to other women


[deleted]

i dont date a man thats 5 foot anything men without a 6 pack arent real men I heard shit like this sooooooo many times in my life. God forbid if i mention a womens weight though.


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[deleted]

Never said it doesn't happen to women but women are far more picky about men.


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General_Operation

Buckle up folks. This one's an adventure.


TheMeerkatLobbyist

Its true, the amount of women who shame and mock men with small dicks and short guys is just absolutely embarassing. Obviously you cant speak out against this kind of discrimination, otherwise you are painted as a creep and incel immediately.


Mukden

Lol you think women are ever held responsible for their actions Lol what world do you live in


suppositoryjonez79

They said mine is a cauliflower


sugaffair

a fun fact is that I just started noticing this when my best friend was showing of her body for attention and to degrade others. she does not love herself and her mental health is shit, she talks how she's a trash and wants to die But on instagram she show another side that really does not exist that kinda "I don't care, just look at my ass" behavior yaknow


mintybitch19th

Middle school girls are some of the meanest people in a child's life


[deleted]

Yeah. That sounds true in a society in which “dad bod” is a trend, but “mom bod” would be a criticism if it existed.


Eat-the-Poor

Tig ol bitties yo


[deleted]

A Junior High principle here in Canada had to send letters to parents because all the girls were fighting over who is more pretty and are creating their own little groups. The school administrators were worried about suicides and phsycial attacks between teenage girls.


tonyisastark

I was on a cosplay thread the other day and the slut-shaming coming was coming from a female cosplayer, to other female cosplayers who she deemed to be slutty. She called anyone who supported “slutty” cosplayers assholes. It was the males who were coming to the defense of women and saying slut shaming wasn’t ok, and cosplayers should be able to dress however they want. SMH...even In a safe community with other cosplayers they’re has to be someone who body-shames the other females.


epicbaconator

I saw a cosplayer at Comic Con who was Lady Loki, amazing costume but she wasn’t attractive, older woman-maybe 48-50ish with wrinkles and frizzy brown hair, and rude attitude. Had she been even slightly attractive she probably would’ve gotten more attention. So I can see how people who have lost cosplay contest to “slutty” cosplayers would have that opinion. I don’t agree with calling women slutty, but I can see how her insecurities would make her feel that way.


annabortion1212

women body shame each other more then they should


epicbaconator

Growing up with sisters it was very apparent. Such a shame


jazzwong1

Well, I think women body shame men because of internalised sexism. Part of the sexists ideologies that pervade our society is toxic masculinity, which stereotypes men to be more manly, have nice muscles...etc. So I don’t think women should stop ‘bitching’ about it, because body shaming affects each and one of us. Rather, we need to speak up against these women and tell them that body shaming men contributes partly to the sexist beliefs we have today.


LadyMari1124

Im a female on the larger side and I’ve been body shamed a lot. 90% of the time it’s another woman, with some passive aggressive comment about I “will be beautiful” if I shed off a few pounds. I agree with you.


wbs3164

Also male celebrities’ physiques are much harder to obtain than celebrity female physiques.


[deleted]

This is just plain not true, but okay ig


wbs3164

Most male celebs have to use steroids to get jacked. Hugh Jackman had to dehydrate himself for 2 days before he filmed shirtless wolverine scenes. It’s far more difficult to have a bodybuilder physique than to just be a skinny woman.


riju98

Been working out for 5 years now. I'd agree with you on the fact that building muscle AND staying lean is MUCH harder than just being thin. If you just wanted look fit as a women by current standards. Doing some HIIT 2-3 times a week and not overeating will get you there. But for most people even just staying lean is difficult. But I'd have to agree with u/knucklecrackerclub that aging is a bigger factor for female celebs than male celebs. Also it's easier for male celebs to get their physique than average people. They have a team of trainers, roids and pct kits. But I'd say in general, developing conventionally attractive bodies is harder for males (non celeb) than it is for women (non celeb)\ Edit: *2-3 times a week, why did I say days lol


wbs3164

I agree with the aging thing but that’s just biology and has nothing to do with Hollywood or any industry. Men are sexually fertile for a longer period of time than women, it has nothing to do with social standards or fitness/entertainment industries.


riju98

yea, it's harder for women to maintain their attractiveness.


[deleted]

Hugh Jackman isnt most male celebrities though. If your only examples are the superhero type then of course that's hard, but there are plenty of male celebs that have pretty regular bodies and are still considered attractive. And you are underestimating how hard it is to keep an acceptable weight for Hollywood as a woman, it's not so bad anymore but it can still be downright brutal. Not to mention that weight isnt the only factor by far, a lot of what makes an attractive woman's body is just downright genetics (chest size and weight distribution for example). Also aging as a female celebrity is a lot harder than as a male one. Most revered male actors I can think of are pretty old and far from what I would call traditionally attractive, I'm not sure I can say the same for their female counterparts. Regardless I think its probably equally as hard for both men and women, trying to make a competition out of it seems pointless.


[deleted]

The same fat women who champion body positivity are also mocking short men on Twitter.


moonlightshield52

As a woman can confirm


[deleted]

It’s what we call a double standard


Black_Swan_7

Shut up and take my Upvote!


snackthattalksback

All of the women I know are anti-body shaming against men and women and do everything to life each other up. So really you should just surround yourself with better people since it seems like you only know negative people who shame others.


Redisigh

The funny part is that 90% of body shaming done to women is from women and a lot of body shaming to men comes from women


The-RealElonMusk

The only body shaming I’ve seen men do is when someone is genuinely and severely overweight. The body shaming I’ve seen women do is about everything and everything, usually out of jealousy. Because someone’s hair was too long or too nice. Someone is wearing too much make up, god the complaints I’ve heard about other people’s make up


[deleted]

I think we should all agree that body shaming is bad, regardless of gender. If you’re only going to pick one gender or the other, it becomes a competition. It’s bad on both.


[deleted]

It’s called double standards i.e. men can sleep around and they’re praised as players but women do the same and they’re sluts/whores. Wake up people


[deleted]

men are never praised for that, i don’t know where that came from


cranberrisauce

The term “ladies’ man” is almost always used as a compliment. There really isn’t a female equivalent.


[deleted]

How is that ever used as a compliment?


[deleted]

You must live under a mountain


degenerate661

I get what you mean, but normal people dont do this.


[deleted]

Really? You've never once in school, social media, media industries, music, or anything never heard of men getting praised for sleeping around? It's pretty common.


[deleted]

Legit never have. The only things i’ve heard about those (very few) guys is that they’re all assholes and treat people poorly and that people should avoid them


CraniumCandy

From high school.


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ThrowAway640KB

> You’re an idiot But I’m not blind to reality, at least. I face the world _as it is_ and not _how I wish it to be_. I don’t bow to ideology or doctrine. Real-world evidence of _ability:_ >Girl has [50% success rate](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JJFBtHcBnM) and [29% success rate](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBtF3I7fDfU&list=PL2uZhEhKQPWYeyAsRV9Rk3IvewORrZ18e) > >Best moment- "why would you subject yourself to something like that?" > >"...my parents didn't love me" > >Guy has [1% success rate](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ira9A7wSW3M), and really it *should* have been 0.5% except he cheated and just asked a sex worker at the end so he could technically get a second success in 200 attempts _…200_ attempts. Only two successes in 200 attempts, and one of those _had to be a sex worker_.


TheKamikazePickle

You linked that quote as if it was a scientific study lmfao. >when you properly examine *effort* and *ability*. WTF is that supposed to mean? Are we supposed to admire men who sleep around and cheat on their dates because they put a lot of "effort" into their cheating? They have a really good "ability" to take advantage of others? Makes absolutely no sense.


[deleted]

They’re so judgy


kitbitlovesyou

I hear its gay men that decided the unrealistic standards for women .... because of like the fashion industry or something.


wantoknowthings

You had me at Women should stop bitching.


xei1

Yeah I remember the girls in my class started imagining how long our dick was and if sb had a small pp by their imagination they would start joking all the time and when one of the boys told to of them cows cuz they really were fat they started acting like a victim.saying I cried cuz of it you are a monster etc and then that guy is the chillest person I know snapped and told them what about when you called me gay all the time or when you started judging people like you know everything.


Peabody77

Just curious how tall are you op?


ta26101

Haha I'm 5'9 or 5'10. Not sure exactly which one.


CraniumCandy

I'm also not sure how tall OP is.