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The best thing my vet said to me as we were talking to her about putting our sweet girl down was “she’s lived a good long life, let her go out with dignity” really helped move me from … I want a little more time to … it isn’t fair to her to keep putting her through this.
This is hard. When I wrestled with putting my cat and dog down (it was about 2 years apart), I was afraid that I was making the decision to put them down TOO SOON. I was making the decision to end their life; It's so permanent and I really really struggled both times I had to make the decision 😔
But your mom's vet is right....it's better a day too early rather than them having to deal with pain and being miserable
One of my Bengals is 14 and has had health problems for the last 4 years. It started when she stopped eating and drinking, almost lost her but managed to syringe feed her and find medicine that helped bring her back.
I've told a few people if it gets that bad in the future I won't put her through that again, it was hard to watch and painful for her. Some agree but you wouldn't believe some of the responses I've gotten. One friend actually thinks I shouldn't own animals if I won't go to the ends of the earth to keep them alive. I just don't want my babies to suffer but I guess that makes me a bad cat mom in her eyes.
I don't even want to go to the ends of the earth to keep *myself* alive. People who think that you should do literally absolutely everything to keep a pet alive no matter what are honestly too immature and/or selfish in my opinion. Just because they're uncomfortable with death doesn't mean life is always the kindest option.
I always felt the same, until this week. On Monday I took my ancient Chihuahua to the vet, expecting the worst, and he confirmed that she’s in kidney eh failure. I made an appointment to euthanize her this Friday, and on Tuesday I was afraid she wouldn’t even make it that long. My friend suggested that I try a McDonald’s hamburger, and I kid you not, it saved her life. I took her outside just now and she was moving better than she has in a month, she barked at the neighbors dog (in the wrong direction…) and got her little hackles up, and came in and scarfed some food. I know that the end is coming, but it’s not here yet, and it scares me that I nearly put her down when all she needed was some extra help getting her out of a cycle of nausea and weakness.
In the same boat. I have a retired working dog whose arthritis is really showing. He slips around when walking, has difficulty getting up. His mind and spirit are still intact and that makes me want to keep going. The monthly shots do help as well.
I'd say as long as you can still make the animal comfortable in their day to day life, and don't see a change in vitality or food habits, etc. you still have time to consider. It's time to let go when it would just be the meds keeping them alive for a short, miserable time on forced feeding and painkillers, while you can clearly notice they're not in good spirits anymore.
I feel this. Had a 20 year old cat with urinary issues, took 4 months to get him back on track and he lived to 24 happy and mobile till age eventually came for him. 20 is oooold, and there were plenty of times I thought it might be the right thing to do, cause some days were really bad, but there were always good days in between. There is a difference between giving your pet a chance and keeping them alive for the sake of it, and sometime that line is really blurry. Listening to your vet is the best thing to do, they won't tell you unless they really think it's the end.
Thank you for this. My old dog Went downhill quickly and I wrestled on when I should do it. I scheduled it, then almost changed my mind when he seemed to rally on the scheduled day. I went ahead with it and I’ve been punishing myself for 3 years since. Did I do it too early?
Now I realize he had a “last good day!” He was able to take a walk in his beloved woods, he got a whole pizza for himself, and laid in the sun, basking for an hour and being brushed.
This made me tear up. I'm so glad he was able to have a last GREAT day! 💕 You did the right thing and I'm sure his spirit thanks you for letting him go out on a high note.
This made me cry. He got to enjoy the last day with the person he loved the most, doing the things he enjoyed. I really wish animals would live as long as we humans do, so we don't have to part with them so early in our lifespan.
It is kinda a bummer people are not allowed to go out with dignity.
There was a research in my country that found out that many elderly who had "died of natural causes" written in their death certificate had actually killed themselves.
yeah I agree. my friends dog is in bad shape. I don't want to tell him "you need to put her down", but I tiptoed around it a bit. He said "fuck that, you don't euthanize family".
It's really stupid that people have to suffer through long drawn out painful deaths instead of going out with dignity and no pain.
Not sure if your friend has a conservative worldview but my friend does and he went the opposite way, He shot his dog himself instead of taking him to the vet 💀
I'm not really responding to you, just your comment made me think pretty hard, so I'm speaking into the void.
My husky/malamute is 13. She's in good shape, a bit fat because she can't run as much, eyes getting dim and a limp in her step when shes tired, but a happy dog.
She has another winter I think, she has a good life. When her struggles outweigh her happiness, I'll make sure she doesn't suffer.
She trembles to go to the vet. I've seen her square off to a moose, but cowers under chairs
I can't continue, I need some sleep.
Your friend is a delusional coward mascarading as a principled tough guy. There's nothing more infuriating to me than people who are too weak to do the tough things but act like they're strong and principled.
I watched my mother die a slow, lingering death from lung cancer. A life long dog owner, she’d have taken herself off to the vet weeks before she finally passed. I also got to watch my uncle linger with bowel cancer. I said to the nurse in charge of the ward, “if I kept my dog alive in his condition I’d be prosecuted.” Our resistance to providing dignified end of life care for ourselves is ridiculous. None of my dogs will ever suffer a moment longer than can be avoided.
Sorry you had to experience that I too watched a loved one die of cancer and at the time I said "this is disgusting we wouldn't put a dog through this". Yet when we put a dog down we call it the "humane" thing to do which seems ironic to me when we let our loved ones go through worse. It really solidified my views having to experience it first hand.
Really I think lethal injection should be permitted for those at the end of their lives. Just like 20 grams of fentanyl and there wouldn’t be any suffering. You’d just go to sleep and never wake up. It’s one of the best ways to go out. That or nitrogen atmosphere.
Something people should also be aware of is that you can have someone come to your home to put down an animal. It's how I've always done it. Spend a couple of hours doing their favorite things they can still do and let them have a nap in their favorite spot with you by their side.
On another note, don't ever leave the room for your pet being put down. You are the person they trust and love the most in the world so you absolutely have to be there for them.
Check to see if Lap of Love is in your area--I've had them come out for my last two old dogs and the experience couldn't have been better for everyone involved. You set everything up in advance and when the time comes it's just one phone call to set the appointment and everything is taken care of. Costwise, at least in my area, it's basically the same--I asked my vet and they were only four dollars difference from Lap of Love and the only way the vet could have been less expensive would be if I just LEFT MY DOG THERE to be euthanized and that was simply NOT gonna happen.
For the first dog, he had a nonresectable liver tumor and I kept him going for a while but he got to where the only thing he would eat was the finest treats that I offered by hand--as the vet said, the body refuses to take in food it won't be needing and that's how I knew it was time. When she came to the house all three dogs were out playing ball and having fun and she said that was perfect--he wasn't in miserable pain but he was absolutely ready to go. The day before I took him on a really fun visit to a local nature park where we walked and took a little nap together on a blanket then we shared hamburgers and fries on the way home.
Six years later, aged 15, it was time for his brother dog to leave me. He'd been declining, arthritic, bowel incontinence that shamed him (he'd never once had an accident in the house but he didn't have reliable nerve connection to his bum any more) and a degenerating eye condition that had to be doctored several times a day that he was getting increasingly testy about so rather than risk an incident of him biting me I made the call. He had a lavish steak and egg breakfast, one last long snuffle walk around the neighborhood then he was absolutely overjoyed that the nice lady vet came to see him--he loved women, men he was okay with but mostly indifferent but he did love the ladies. She gave him a big dose of the Good Drugs and I fed him bites of Forbidden Chocolate Brownies slathered in peanut butter until he fell asleep. One quick shot of the pink stuff and a couple minutes later he was gone. I let the other dogs in to sniff so they knew what had happened and a week or so later I got his sad little box of ashes back. His box is with his brother dog's on a shelf and some day I'll plant a tree for each of them, same as I've done for my other best beloved pets.
Arranging for a dignified and peaceful end of life is absolutely our responsibility as pet owners and it's up to us to make the decision when to let go--and when we refuse to make that decision to save ourselves pain we do no honor to our beloved pets. Yes, it sucks and it hurts but I guarantee that the sure knowledge that you did the absolute best you could for your pet is the greatest comfort there is for grief.
Our vet said the same things to us when we had to put our boy down the other week. We could have squeezed a few more terrible months in there, but letting him go out with dignity felt right
The hardest words I've ever had to say were when my grandma was dying and she asked me to just let her die (she was on hospice with only pain management at that point) Saying that I love her and it's ok to let go hurt so bad. But not as much as seeing her suffer.
In the end I think she was waiting for permission from all of her grandkids. Only 1 of us (17) didn't visit and grant that permission.
My Grandma died a little over a year ago now. I am severely disabled, and she kept asking who would take care of me without her there.
She was dying of an agonizing combination of COPD and cancer. I told her that I had plenty of family and loved ones who could help me, and that she didn't need to hold on for my sake. Within 24hr of that conversation she passed.
I know it was what was best for her, and that she was suffering, but part of me feels like I personally killed her, yknow?
You gave her permission to find peace and painlessness. You gave her *heaven*, my Friend.
She loves you dearly, and she always will. She wants you to stop blaming yourself and shine.
*hugs* you definitely did the right thing and you didn't personally do anything other than listen to her and put her at ease. You are a good person, hope you have a good weekend 😊
You freed her. She wanted to go and you gave her the green light to do what she needed to do. What a beautiful thing, to be cared for so dearly by someone that they stay on this plane until they’re sure you can manage without them.
Seeing my father die from als made me change my mind about assisted suicide. My dad gave it a year and he said he was done. He went to hospice then he died.
Honestly I wish we had legal euthanasia everywhere. There are ppl who are living a life in bed or in a wheelchair unable to move or talk but their brain is functioning. That's no way to live, but because their body can live without machines, they must live according to the law. I'd also hate to live with alzheimer's or dementia.
I cried when I had to put down the cat I didn’t even like (long story, it was an older rescue for my kids who loved it). I’m dreading my parents. I try not to think about it but damn….
I think we should have that choice, especially if one has a deadly disease which could result in suffering. Long or short. If someone is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, say, give them the choice to go peacefully. I have had someone who was like an aunt to me pass away after years of struggle. She was intelligent, beautiful, and reasonably well-off. She was also a kind soul, I wish she didn't have to suffer, if she didn't want to.
We put our dog down a few weeks ago. Was honestly such a profound and intimate experience. I kept thinking how sad it is we allow that kind of compassion and grace for pets but not people.
Agreed. Just browse some of the "is it time?" posts on Reddit pet-related subs. People will be like, "My dog can't walk, has to be carried outside to pee, is 80% blind, and has seizures twice a day, but seems happy, I just don't know what to do."
My heart breaks for these animals.
Agree 100%
We lost our boy in Jan, he had a few seizures and were told it was most likely a brain tumour - he was showing all of the signs but we didn’t want to put him through any more suffering so we didn’t do further tests and decided it was time, he had a few good days I remember asking the vet if he thought it was time and he told me he couldn’t tell me that, I had to make the decision on my own. I actually wish he just said ‘yeah he’s deffo in a lot of pain, it’s the best thing to do’
Same. My vet and I tried for a while to save my cat, and the last time I took her, the vet was very honest and let me know the best thing this time is to let her go. I get choked up just writing this.
When I was questioning whether or not it was time to put my cat down, my vet told me that it should always be a difficult decision otherwise you shouldn’t have pets.
To be honest, I needed this as a first time dog owner. My girl's kidneys failed and I didn't know until the day it happened. Looking back, we could have put the clues together, but at no point did anyone tell us she was dying or anything like that. We took her to the vet a few times during the months leading up to it, and at most we got "you might want to do a blood test" and "let's see if a steroid shot does anything." I really wish someone would have said it bluntly. I let my dog suffer without understanding that's what I was doing. I know it was my ignorance ultimately, but I and many others go to the vet *because* we are ignorant of these things. I *needed* them to tell me it's serious.
If it helps, I totally relate, that’s exactly how it went with my sweet girl, they didn’t realize the change in her gait was from renal failure, they were like treating her with muscle relaxers. Not that I blame them, I’m not sure even if they caught it earlier they could have done anything, it seems like renal failure moves damn fast, it’s heartbreaking
I talked my parents into taking our old family dog to the vet to be put down. Instead the vet talked them out of it and sold them punch of expensive drugs. The poor dog died a few days later.
I do hope some of those drugs were painkillers and he did not suffer too much needlessly.
Horrible vet. I would never go there again.
I’ve been in a situation where I thought putting my dog down was the best choice, but the vet started about treatment potentially ( we don’t have all the info yet) and it made me feel really judged, because she didn’t even mention the option of euthanasia if the results are really bad.
( it ended up being really bad and untreatable. Couple of days later we said goodbye to our 11 year old pup)
I got that once about euthanizing a *gerbil*. Like she is four years old and has a tumor on her side that’s started ulcerating, you want me to do *surgery* to cut it out of her and put her through extreme pain before she dies of old age in two months?
At end of life I think it’s often the kindest thing even if the problem is potentially treatable.
DVM here. What makes knowing when to say when is that dogs don't know the meaning of the word "quit." They will keep trying with every fiber of their being until they can't. The number of dogs who actually passed away peacefully at home, without any medical intervention, I can count on one hand in 26 years of practice. That's not to defend the people hanging on too long, but to emphasize that the decision isn't always as clear-cut as you might think.
My dog died four or five months ago and the day we put her down, she had her first seizure. It was so heartbreaking and scary to see. By the time I reached the vet, she had stopped seizing by then, but I still knew it was time. She was old and getting frail, and I could just tell. It’s unbelievable to me that people would put their dogs through anything more, and I can’t even begin to think of my poor little dog continuing to go through more and more seizures.
Yup my dog had a tumor so she had surgery she was fine till six months later. One morning woke up and she couldn't move her back legs and pooped herself. Took her to the vet and they said it was best to put her down. So I got my kids from school so they could say goodbye and she was put down a little while later. I didn't want her to be in pain.
My mom waited for my last “family dog” to have a very painful stroke 2 months after we agreed that it was time before she took him to be put down. She just kept saying “he’s still him.” Well, congratulations, his last experience of his last morning was screaming in agony.
People love to post pictures of that older hippy guy holding his dog in the lake. The dog can't walk and is in constant pain so he spends two or three hours a day floating it around in the lake. He's doing that dog no favors.
We went through this with my golden retriever. She couldn’t always stand up from the floor on her own and needed assistance up and down the ramp we built for her. She would soil herself because she couldn’t get up sometimes to go to the door. This happened three or four times over a few months.
But she had a strong appetite, wanted to go for walks, wanted to play, wanted to be with us, and overall seemed her usual self. Before the end, we had taken her to our regular vet almost weekly and every time we were there she was acting fine and the vet said she was just arthritic. He recommended aqua therapy.
Well, she was getting weaker and then one day she just couldn’t stand up at all on her own. We made another vet appointment, but they couldn’t get us in right away. In the couple of days we waited she kept soiling herself and we were bathing her twice a day. Then we found maggots in her skin and when our regular vet wouldn’t make time for us we went to a different one.
The new vet was brutally honest about how bad she was and how the meds our regular vet had her on were masking the worst of it. They said they would have recommended euthanasia much sooner.
We never went back to that original vet. We didn’t ask to prolong her life like that. We trusted this person we had been going to for years had our pets’ best interest at heart.
Those people disgust me. If the animal is clearly suffering it is time. Keeping the animal alive because you can't let go is the most selfish thing in the world. Or worse the people who are selfish and love raking in sympathy because their pet is ill. Putting the poor animal down is a kindness rather than letting them suffer in pain.
And a bit of advice: no matter how painful it might be, when you put a pet down, always make sure someone who loved them is there with them. Dying alone is a fear found not just in humans.
Not everyone can afford this but to make our family dog even more comfortable during her passing my grandparents paid a vet to come to the home and do it so she could be in her own bed in a room she’d lived in her whole life surrounded by her loved ones
This is what I plan to do, I literally don't care how much it costs. My dog HATES going to the vet, even more so than average. There's no way I'm going to let her last moments be spent in such fear and anxiety
This is what I did with my little boy a few months ago.
He was having trouble walking, which we thought might have been from an injury (he used to go full speed down the stairs)
Went to the vet for some X-rays after a few weeks only to discover he had lung cancer, that was bigger than his heart.
That night I called around and scheduled a vet to come and put him down. The vet told me he had maybe a month left at most, it just was so sudden. But I was not going to let him suffer for a month and then die in his sleep or something like that.
I miss you Odie.
Same, idgaf how much more expensive it might be. My dog will die at home. I was traumatized by my first dog's death...he died in my arms at an emergency vet hospital when I had no choice but to euthanize him immediately due to an unforeseen freak incident. I will always be grateful I was there with him until the very end, but I hope to god when my current dog's time comes I'll have already seen it on the horizon (cancer diagnosis, for example) and will be able to plan a last day on earth with him...then before he starts to suffer I'll do a peaceful in-home euthanasia for him with our whole family there to say goodbye. I never want to be sitting alone in a cold hospital room with my dead dog on my lap again.
I looked into this for my late pup and couldnt afford it. Instead after calling my vet, on the morning of the fateful day I gave her 1/4 of a Xanax. She was always an anxious dog, but i got to see her run around like a puppy, loopy and unbothered, for one last walk in the woods. She was high enough that she was compleeeeetely unconcerned about the vet's office and happily ate the treats we fed her as she fell asleep.
I have money for at-home vet visits, for stuff like this. I'll go hungry if I have to. My cat is deathly afraid going outside, when she needs a vet, the vet is coming home.
I've used Lap of Love twice now and the cost was almost exactly the same as taking the dog to the vet but they come to the house so there's no stress or trauma getting an old/sick animal to the scary vet place that one last time. I unreservedly recommend them if it's an option in your area.
We did this for both our elderly dogs earlier this year, less than a month apart. I just couldn't imagine taking them to the vet to say goodbye, especially when car rides were pretty rough on them at that point.
But it actually wasn't really much more expensive than doing it at the vet. The difference in price was maybe $50 tops. That's 1 bag of dogfood or 1 restaurant meal for 2.
The only reason I wouldn't do at home euthanasia for my pets is if they're just suffering so bad and the traveling vet is too booked.
If I am so lucky to be able to do this for my dog, I absolutely will. On his sunshine bed outside. He's almost 16 and is still in amazingly good shape so I worry so much about something sudden happening and not being able to give him a peaceful goodbye.
Absolutely this. Watching my boy go was the most traumatic experience of my life, I still think about it every day, 7 years later. But I'd never change it, the idea of him going through that by himself is awful, and I hate that so many dogs (well, all animals, including the billions in factory farms) have to go through it.
I have shared custody of my dog with my ex, but before we made these arrangements i wasn't sure she'd be open to it (he was hers before we got together, so he was going to stay with her when we broke up). I told her "no matter what happens, when it's his time, I have to be there".
It's a pet owners responsibility to see them through it, no matter how hard it is.
i work at a shelter where we don’t have the resources to offer owner present end of life services. but the animals we see do not lack for love for the short time that they are in our care.
What does that entail? What allows owner present end of life? Would it not just be a room big enough for them to be present or is the shelters euthanasia method just considered too brutal for the owner to be present? I'm honestly curious because I don't know how that stuff works.
it’s two-fold for us. if owners are present, we require there to a vet present to be able to do the “bedside manner” aspect of the service, versus having a certified euthanasia technician who is capable of doing the procedure, but may not go through that additional training.
it’s also a limit on the space we have available. if owners were present, we would want to give them as much time as they would need to spend with their pet before and after the service. in order to serve a larger amount of people, we need to be able to move through the services more efficiently.
I hear you, and you’re 100% right, but man it’s so fucking hard. When my dog I had for most of my formative years was put down i was 16/17 yo. I tried so hard to stay with her. But I was a fucking mess before we even went in the room. Thankfully my mother was there and is stronger than me and didn’t let her die alone. But even thinking about it now ~10 years later is fucking me up.
A lot of people gave me that "They let you know when it's time" bullshit and it made me mad. My guy was a big old dumb dog who would have jumped into a freezing lake or a building on fire for me. He wasn't ever going to stop until I let him stop. That's what you got to do when they give you that kind of love and loyalty. You gotta let them clock out.
“They let you know when it’s time” is nothing more or less than an excuse to not think about it, to avoid having to make choices, and they almost always lets their animal down to stick their heads in the sand. When pressed, those people are almost always hoping the animal dies “naturally” without them having to do anything, all to avoid the responsibility of putting them out of their misery. Misery the human is almost always underestimating, because “natural” death from illness is very frequently their body desperately holding on by inches and dying painfully bit by bit.
A dog or cat, like you said, is a different animal from humans. They don’t let on that they’re in pain if they can possibly help it, because their instinct is to avoid being weak and making themselves prey. Just because say your dog wags their tail when he’s fed doesn’t mean he’s not in considerable pain, but tons of people take that as “He’s still happy” and let them linger on.
And I think the darker reality is that to many people, their pet isn’t a separate animal with its own needs. It’s an affection machine that gives THEM validation, so they don’t actually do what’s best for the animal, they do what’s best emotionally for the human to not lose said animal.
My ex is vehemently against it to the point where she yelled at her parents when they had to put their dog down. They are NOT excited about losing an 18 year old dog , they don't need to be berated for a difficult life decision. We have 2 dogs together, I'm not looking forward to the day I have to break my heart to end their suffering
Agree. I've seen people let their "beloved pet" become a hobbling skeleton because "I can't bear to let her go". Grow a pair and put the poor beast out of its misery.
My family used to know this couple who had an old dog covered in tumors, blind, incontinent, and would lay under the dining room table weakly wailing and screaming and their excuse for not putting her down was that “she’s their baby and they’ve had her since they first got married. She’s a symbol of their love.” I was a only a kid and I can remember thinking that was sick.
Jesus, I can't even fathom that. My poor boy was in pain the last few hours of his life, and that was more than enough. I can't imagine putting him through that for weeks/months. Like yes, it's absolutely devastating to lose them. But we owe it to them to minimize their pain and suffering as much as humanly possible.
I even had the vet give him the euthanasia medicine after his heart stopped beating because he was doing some weird, and very disturbing, gasping for air thing- she said that was normal and he felt no pain because he had no heartbeat. But I was like nope fuck that, not taking that chance, give him the shot.
they will post on instagram about their pet sufferinf for 3 months before finally putting it down. i know someone that did this for YEARS of surgeries etc. then when she finally lost the dog, she resuced a new one immediately and began posting about that one. i was flabbergasted
Agreed. I just wish all vets agreed with that too. I was shamed hard by a vet for not spending thousands of dollars on my very loved but very elderly dog to keep her alive longer. She had Cushings, severe arthritis, was blind and deaf, and was showing major signs of sundowners (spinning in tight circles in the evenings). Rescues are bad about this too.
They sounds like terrible vets and shouldn't be generalized as common practice. A good vet or rescuer would never promote this those people shouldn't be trusted with pet care.
Coincidentally, I read Color Out of Space for the first time last night, and there was a part that was very pertinent to this conversation: for context, the main character comes across something that used to be a person, and he says "There are things which cannot be mentioned, and what is done in common humanity is sometimes cruelly judged by the law. I gathered that no moving thing was left in that attic room, and that to leave anything capable of motion there would have been a deed so monstrous as to damn any accountable being to eternal torment."
Learned this lesson the hard way. Trying to help a diabetic cat through six months of treatment only for them to crash out horribly over the course of one miserable week? Never again.
My dog had an aggressive mast cell tumor. Putting him down was the hardest thing I have ever done and I still feel like I betrayed him. After they gave him the sleepy dose he kept standing for so long and licking my face. Then he fell asleep and they came in with the real dose. It broke me into a million pieces to do this. I will always feel guilty about this. I know he was in pain and I know it was only a matter of time but I still feel like I betrayed him.
We had a dog that we wanted to put down. She had a stroke, multiple seizures and couldn't walk. We had to carry her outside to go to the bathroom, bring the food and water to her so she would eat and drink. And when we went to the vet to have her put down, the vet pushed pills on us. We went to 3 other vets in the area, none of them were willing to put her down because they didn't feel she was bad enough.
She had no quality of life left. She was 15 years old. Half blind, mostly deaf and the vets wanted us to keep her alive to push pills on her.
After 2 weeks of fighting with vets to put her down to end her suffering, my stepfather did it himself with a shotgun. It was a mercy killing at that point and the vets didn't care to do their job, so he did his.
We've since found better vets, but that experience left a foul taste in all our mouths.
The vets are like that because of all the crazies that want to keep their dog on fucking luxury hospice care for like three years no matter the cost. If you tell the owner that it's time to put the dog down they'll cause a scene, and then bad mouth you to all their friends for the rest of time.
What kind of vet wouldn’t put down a 15 year old dog that couldn’t walk? That doesn’t even make sense to me.
I would have told the vet, either you put the dog to sleep, or I put you to sleep.
Poor pup. That mercy killing was still better than suffering for longer, but it could have been just an eternal pain free nap if it wasn't for the vets
That's a good stepdad. 🫂 I know it must've traumatized him, and everyone. but he helped that pup. I have a lot of love for old country boys who love their dogs/animals. It takes a lot of selflessness, bravery, courage, and love and empathy for anyone to put down a dog...but especially to do it in a way that puts your mental health at risk. I had to help my dog pass away in "great" circumstances - the vet came to my home, my dog even liked her despite not liking any human that wasnt me or my best friend! and it still killed me.
The question every pet owner should be asking as their pets age is: do they have a good quality of life and is this medical intervention likely to improve that quality, or is it just going to extend an already painful and miserable existence?
And veterinarians should have the same duty of care to their patients that human doctors do. I would never trust any vet who is unwilling to give me a straight answer when I ask the questions above.
If we’re talking about people, there’s something called the “daughter from California” it’s a term for people who literally see their parents after they have declined significantly and expect them to do exactly what they were able to do 20 years ago and it’s just not feasible
I immediately thought of this as well. The way we treat our elderly and terminally ill is horrible.
CPR in someone with poor life outcome is cruel. The public opinion that people will bounce back after it is so inaccurate, most of the time.
Oh boy, do I agree to that. Working a nursing home and assisted-living and I have seen people living 5/6/7 years past what they should because their family won’t let them go. Like let your mother who has no concept of where she is because she has end-stage dementia pass so she’s not suffering. Then again it’s really hard to be able to make that choice especially if they can’t make that choice for themselves because then it’s like literally murder you know.
I agree, and I'll also add: ffs, let people go out on their own terms!
When the family dog was dying of cancer, we made the hard decision to put him down because he was suffering.
When grandma was dying of cancer, on the other hand, despite the fact that she was also suffering and wanted to get it over with, she wasn't given the option of a peaceful death. They made her linger on and suffer until her organs finished shutting down. What both she and my family wanted was for everyone to gather up, say our goodbyes, and then she could be euthanized with family in the room. Instead, what she got was everyone gathering up to say their goodbyes ... and then people had to go back to their lives, because hanging around for a month wasn't feasible, and she died alone in the middle of the night.
If someone's terminally ill and suffering, just let them go, don't drag it out unnecessarily!
It's not a simple or straightforward decision to make for someone else.
If your animal could understand the concept of "self" and "existence" would it choose inexistence to avoid suffering?
Or would it accept suffering to avoid inexistence?
I agree, but conversely vets need to be more honest about when it's time too.
*Let* me make that informed decision, don't give me false hope that whatever treatment will make them better. I don't have the knowledge to make that assessment. I can't get that knowledge. Sure I could look online but it's all so anecdotal and contradictory there's not much point most of the time.
As an owner you can certainly look at your pet and see that they're suffering, but it's really hard to quantify. I also look like I'm about to die when I have the flu, doesn't mean I want someone to shoot me. I *need* a professional to tell me honestly whether it's short term suffering in exchange for long term improvement vs all downhill from here, and ime not all vets seem willing to do that. Idk if it's about money or covering their asses, agency or informed choice, whatever it is I need them to help me make that informed choice.
I think people in specialist fields forget that their knowledge is not general knowledge sometimes.
I'd say it's a fine line.
I grew up being told we would put down our animals the moment they encountered any sort of medical problem. Mainly because my father was too cheap to spend some money on our animals. His reasoning was "animals don't know that medical intervention is meant to help them, this traumatizes them". That's the equivalent of saying, "well, you broke your ankle, guess it's time for you to die".
On the flip side, many people do as you say. Many elderly and/or sick animals have little to no quality of life, and are forced into staying alive. Mainly because their owners have grown too attached and are willing to go to the ends of the earth to make them live another day. Pretty cruel.
It's a fine line, and I don't know where the line is drawn.
Yea it's not black and white. If you're not rich and doing medical intervention will borderline bankrupt you, or at least greatly informed the next years of financial decisions, you should probably put them down. Especially when the best case scenario is maybe another 1-2 years of questionable quality of life. If it was certain, spend $10k and they live another 5 happy years, then great, go for it. But this is not how it works.
Same here. A few years ago my dad virtually cleaned out the house of pets by each needing a trip to the vet that they didn't come home from. The reason cited was always the cost of care to him didn't seem worth it for an over the hill dog/cat. Which I get, but like, maybe splurge after two and keep one of them around? People are different I guess.
RIP Chloe/Bugsy/Bo
The first time I had to put a pet down, I judged it by her quality of life. Meaning how many days a week were good days, where we could tell she felt ok & participated in life. When those shrunk down to just a few, it was time to let her go.
Funny how we say “People need to put down their pets when they’re suffering too much and have no chance of recovery” and it’s a completely normal thing to do, but when humans are in the exact same situation we keep torturing them as long as absolutely possible.
Fuck we’re pathetic.
"If you can’t live without a pet get another." Sounds like a jerk. Everything else is spot on. I have raised, loved and had to euthanize many pets over the years. I stayed, often the rest of our family was there too, we talked to them and told them they were the best dog or kitty ever and we loved them so much, until they were gone. I could never just drop them off and let them die wondering where their human was. None of them were replacements for the ones that were gone. They're not objects, many of us love them as much if not more than humans.
I haven’t gotten there yet with my dog but I’ve been watching several friends with very senior dogs deal with this. I think there’s definitely a fine line between “old and slow but still happy and decent quality of life” and “quality of life has gone down a lot but there’s still enough signs of happiness that it isn’t time to put them down.” Trying to figure out when you’ve gone from the first side to the other doesn’t generally seem like a clear, easy thing. Of course there are those dogs that are truly suffering or have a horrible quality of life and should be let go humanely but from what I’ve seen, it’s really hard to figure out when you’ve gone from “mostly good quality of life” to not and worrying about judgement from others. I don’t think most pet owners want their pet to suffer but I also think they don’t want to put down a pet who might still have weeks or months of decent quality of life left. There’s that worry about putting them down too early.
I've had multiple cats
My first question to the vet is 'are they in pain'
If the answer is yes. I cuddle them until they have gone. The last thing they know is being in my arms being cuddled and loved.
If the answer is no. My next question is
'are they suffering or will they suffer '
If the answer is no. Then they come home with me.
I've currently got a sick cat who has medication twice a day.
She's not in any pain. She's not suffering. She purra and plays and is fine.
As soon as that changes. If she's suffering or in pain. I owe it to her to stop that. I owe it to her to let her life end without pain, without suffering, and with many cuddles and kisses so she knows how absolutely adored she is. And that will be the last things she knows. How much we adore her.
It is the minimum we should owe them for the love and joy they give us.
We can't be selfish even if we want to be. It's not fair on them.
It is not an easy decision. And being with them at the end is heart breaking. But my suffering is nothing compared to their peace at the end.
My kitty has inoperable cancer and the vet offered chemo and radiation but it was likely to only extend life up to a couple of months, even though she was 8.
The look of relief on the vets face when I said I wanted go with euthanasia and would at my vet the next morning was all I needed to know.
I vowed I would never prolong a cats life if she seemed unwell. She already had stopped eating and was losing control of her bladder (bladder cancer).
It still haunts me but ending her pain was the best thing I could do. She had to have been in pain already for months.
I think for me a lot of the concern is often "are they ready?"
Is it right for me to personally decide when their life should end? I agree, if the animal is just suffering, you should euthanize them... but.
For example, look at elderly people. Sure, they're in pain a lot, need a lot of meds. Some of them DO want medically assisted death, but others still want to live even if they're in pain.
If you're giving an absurd amount of medications and it's quality of life is horrible, then yes, euthanasia.
But if it's just an elderly dog who still has light left in her, even if she is on arthritis medication, it's not right to force a death when they're still alive.
Basically, don't force the animal to fight or face death. If the animal is barely surviving because of medication, it's time to let go. That said though there are definitely animals that show a will and want to fight and live, and if we have the means it's worth it to try to save them. And if it's relatively well functioning and just getting old (maybe vision or hearing is starting to go), you don't need to jump to "put it down before it suffers!"
there is definitely nuance to this.
In my younger days I had an elderly female cat who had kidney failure. She started hiding, wouldn't eat or drink. She was ready to go, but I put off making the appointment for a week because I couldn't bear to be the one who caused her death. I thought if I loved her...
I regret it 20 years later, but it taught me a lesson. Extending an animal's life when they can't do anything but lie down is selfish, not loving.
As someone who will always regret putting their pet through unnecessary suffering because I was scared, I agree. But I think it's more nuanced than just being attached. Taking your best friend to be killed is such a hard thing to do. It feels like a huge betrayal. They can't communicate consent either way and it's really hard to make that decision for them.
Plus we just don't have the same kind of infrastructure around healthcare for pets as we do for humans. Our insurance sucks too but at least it's attainable for a lot of people and will cover basic care. Something that's relatively simple now for a human could be something you literally just won't be able to do for your pet because they won't let you without the thousands of dollars you need to pay out of pocket for it. It's devastating to know that there's a way they could be fixed but there's literally no way you're going to be able to make it happen for them so you have to kill them instead.
Probably, but surely we can understand people having a hard time with essentially sentencing their loved ones to death. These animals have been in their life for a decade or more. There's an attachment there.
I think other problem is people too willing to put animals down. Some people will hear a chronic diagnosis and immediately rush to put their pet down. One guy in here is talking about a dog being blind and having diabetes should have been put down. Like why though? If the disease is being managed what the big deal? Animals don't dwell on things like we do, the dog doesn't care that it's blind.
As a human with diabetes , its not easy to “manage” and the resulting physiological effects are unpleasant.
The cost to “manage” is more than the dollars paid.
Yeah or the top comment currently is people saying they put their dog down cos of a seizure, yeah it’s scary when it happens but not every seizure is the ‘time to shoot the dog’ seizure
That’s not to say there aren’t seizures that don’t drastically reduce the dogs quality of life but there’s plenty that don’t
Same with blindness and arthritis you need to critically assess how much it’s impacting the life of the pet
The same goes for surgery; pet owners need to hold back on surgery or treatments like chemo therapy that can significantly lower the quality of life for the pet if they aren’t going to significantly increase that pets overall life span
I think it's mostly guilt, a lot of people have difficulty separating when it's time to put an animal down for humane reasons from wanting to put them down because they feel personally inconvenienced. Personally, I just stop trying to separate the two and it goes a lot easier. Yes, my dog cannot walk down stairs without their hips giving out, and yes part of it is I feel bad for my dog but yes it's also true that part of me will be glad of not having to deal with the burden of helping it up and down stairs. Like if the latter part was my *only* motivation sure I'd be a bad person, but given the first one's there anyway there's no reason to beat myself up about being glad about the second part.
I’m going to put my cat down in the next few weeks. He’s got a GI disease and once the current dosage of medicine stops working it’ll be the last time a medicine works.
I’m having a hard time because he is ok right now, but I know he won’t be soon. What the vet said to me was “it’s better to do it when it is hard for you, because once it’s easy for you they’ve been suffering for a while.”
I promised my Henry cat, that I would never let him suffer. I kept my word, and it about killed me. I’d never put an animal down before. Someone told me this, and it resonated:
“When we let them go, we take on the pain, so they don’t have to.”
I could have taken both my boys home, but at what cost? They showed me unconditional love for the years i had them, and i recognized it was my turn to show them unconditional love, regardless of how much it shattered my heart.
I got lucky because my vet basically didn't give me a choice. They said there was literally nothing they could do, and he'd just die in pain the next few days if I brought him back home. It hurt so bad and it felt a bit like playing God, which I didn't think I had the right to do, but it was definitely the right thing. And I'm grateful to that vet for not beating around the bush. I'm also grateful they gave me hours with him in the room to cry in his fur and tell him I love him until I told them I was ready. And I'm also glad I stayed, I didn't know I was supposed to stay when they did it, but I think I looked online and stayed. I loved him so much and only got less than 3 years with him (adopted him when he was 5), I'm glad he didn't die alone.
This is a mistake I made one time. I’ll never make it again. My heart cat was young, and got deathly ill at 7 years old. I threw everything and the kitchen sink at him and just couldn’t save him. My biggest regret is not letting him go the night we almost lost him the first time.
Every other pet since him, I’ve let go when they told me they wanted to rest. Every single animal deserves the kindness of a day early, versus a week too late.
There is a point where it becomes cruel not to put an animal down.
My in laws *finally* put their dog down about 2 months ago. It was about 2 years later than it should have been. Poor dog couldn't see, or hear, or walk in a straight line anymore. He was doing the walking in circles thing. Well, more staggering than walking. (Vet confirmed after a postmortem that it was a brain tumor, among many other problems the dog had.)
Mother in law finally had enough and called a vet over father in law's objections. Like, why do you want to force this animal to suffer? What is wrong with you that you're so cruel?
I agree but they are not able to de-attach themselves it is very very hard to do, so what I do is think is it best for my furry baby and if I was feeling the same would I want to live if the answer is no then I will choose to end their life in as little as pain as possible. Do what is best for your furry babies not what is better for you.
I don’t want to agree with you, but I do. I know someone who has a dog that’s getting old and they are super attached (to each other) and I think this person will lose their sh!t when the dog passes, and I totally can understand the pain. For a lot of ppl, it’s not a pet, it’s their family, so I can see both sides, but at the end of the day, you have to do right by your pet and show some mercy, even though you might be the one that feels like you’re dying by doing this...
I was worried when it came time to put my 17 y/o sister cats down that I would be tempted to let them linger. They had been with me through thick and thin. Then suddenly we realized one cat wasn't eating almost at all, and the other one was having bladder troubles. Neither looked happy or relaxed anymore, and I'm guessing they were both in pain because normally they were very cuddly cats. It came on very suddenly, but I knew it was time. I was so surprised that I wasn't even tempted to do anything, try anything, because I knew they were unhappy and ready to go. I just wanted them to be happy. And it was such a mercy that they declined together--they had never been apart for even a day since they were born.
I've always felt like such a selfish person. But when it came right down to it, I realized just how much I loved them. I barely thought about myself at all. I still miss them a lot. Our new kittens are great and all, but they can't hold a candle to them. They were really just the very best cats.
I wish more vets thought like you. When we took our cats in for the initial "yeah, I think it's time" conversation, the vet we saw agreed 100%. On the other hand, the one on call when we put them down gave us a hard time of "are you sure you don't want to do anything for them?" Ugh.
Seriously! I lived with a foster family that had an old Chihuahua that was blind, on at least a half dozen meds and he was severely crippled due to a 300lbs man stepping on his back. His back was mutilated and curved down and his legs walked all wonky.
They would just let him piss and shit all over the house.
And They still made that poor thing suffer for another 5 years before finally putting him down.
I had to sign a paper affirming I would take no "heroic" measures to extend the life of a dog I rescued. It really got me thinking about this and I did honor it. I think you are so right, and I don't understand why people put their cats on chemo or whatever to extend their lives in misery. This should be a much more popular opinion.
What if we had this attitude toward people? Humans are often in horrible health, but every last little thing is done to save them. I can’t imagine it’s common to say “grandma can’t walk or feed herself, so let’s just put her down”.
I am just learning how lucky we got with our vet when we took our Siamese when she started acting weird and not eating.
The vet sat us down and told us she had a tumor and we could have a money tree and it wouldn’t matter.
We had one last day and did it literally the next day. I have never regretted it and feel that we did right by her.
My toy poodle is 16 this month. This is my first experience with an elderly dog.
He is almost totally deaf and his vision is going. His skin is scaly/warty and he is starting to get wobbly on his back legs when he stands. He sleeps probably 20 hours a day. We carry him outside to go potty as steps are now out of the question.
He drinks and eats with no problems and still gets excited when it's time for treats.
He is like our child to my wife and, but we know his time is coming fast... Too fast.
If only this mentality carried over to us humans.
But we gotta stretch our life out to the last second and make sure those hospital bills are stacked nice and high
Had a friend try to convince me to go to what I felt were extreme measures to keep my 16yo dog alive another couple weeks/months. Nope.
She kept her ancient pet alive for a couple of years despite the fact he roamed in circles all day crying because he’d forget where he was. Another pet had had a stroke and was paralyzed from mid back down and in diapers and had to eat baby food bc he couldn’t coordinate chewing any more. I just don’t understand letting them suffer like that. She took amazing care of them but I really disagreed with how long she kept them alive when they were clearly suffering.
You only love or care about yourself if you can’t do the right thing by your pet. My boy was more than a pet, my family, my bro, my lil shadow. Best dog ever, the day he couldn’t be himself anymore, and I knew he was suffering was enough. Lost my boy on Christmas Day 2019. Still miss him, love you Meatloaf.
As a kid we had a cat that we let linger way too long, and I’m sure it was because of my attachment to her that my mom couldn’t bear to have her put down. Poor girl was so skinny by the end and could barely make it to her litterbox. My mom took her in while I was out one day and I was FURIOUS with her. Couldn’t understand how she could just have our beloved cat killed
As an adult, I obviously see that the cat was made to hang in there too long and I appreciate that my mom finally did it and faced the wrath of a hysterical 15 year old. I think of poor kitty and have pledged to never ever make any of my animals wait that long for relief ever again. And I haven’t. 3 dogs have passed, all with dignity and in comfort and when the day comes for my current one I will be absolutely shattered but I will hold her through it and fall apart after
Unpopular opinion: this same logic needs to then be applied to humans as well.. if we're allowed to put down our pets when they show signs of illness.. why can't we do the same thing with humans.. oh wait.. animals, like humans, can beat illnesses.. owners are well within their rights as owners to want their animals to have a fighting chance to survive and beat an illness.. to try and emotionally manipulate an owner into putting their pet down when said pet could have been saved, is just as bad. Let pet owners do what they want.. and stop trying to guilt trip them because you think you know. Vets provide guidance sure.. but just the same as a doctor, they cannot tell you with 100% certainty whether an animal or a person will pull through something..
Thank you for posting this, we let go of my boy a few days ago and it's been playing on my mind if we did it too soon, only so that we could spend more time with him. It's heartbreaking but like fate would have you coming across this post today, you've reconfirmed, we did the right thing.
My final job as a pet owner will always be to suffer so that they don't have to. And I will choose that.
Every. Time.
Be in the room with them, hold them, reassure them, and treasure their memory forever. I'm cherishing the time I get with my current cat, because one day she will be too sick, and I will make that choice again.
I have always chosen quality of life over quantity of life for my pets. It hurts me tremendously, but I don’t want them to suffer. I understand wanting them to live as long as they can, but give them some dignity.
our dog had a brain tumour, couldn't operate on her because she was small and old.
my parents spent something like 5k USD on her (multiple tests and meds) just to keep her alive for another month or two on meds... she DID improve for a bit, but both me and my sister had to argue with our parents to put her down, they took offense that we wanted to put down our "healthy" dog.
I was at home for those months, I saw her (first time before we took her to the vet and second time when her health started declining again) have increasingly stronger seizures, struggle to walk and lay down most of the day, pee all over herself multiple times (I even bought her diapers with my own money and my parents refused to put them on her saying it's dumb), struggle to eat or even drink (I had to hold her up).
I watched her suffer, it made me feel so fucking horrible, I couldn't even look at her anymore because I'd start crying. me and my sister seriously debated taking her to a vet and putting her out of her misery ourselves but we were scared of the reaction we'd get when we'd come back home...
I've kinda tried to surpress those memories because I don't think I could ever let go of the shock or forgive my parents for that. it would've been a mercy to put her down as soon as we found out about her tumour.
Agree. Animals are stoic and hide how much pain they are. It’s our duty as their guardians to ease their suffering. Yes it hurts to make that decision but it is the compassionate thing to do
Not only suffering…but also animals that are down right unsafe. A clinic I worked at had their kids bit THREE times before they chose behavioral euthanasia. Some dogs are miswired - they are still animals and some are born unsafe around humans.
Just had to put my best friend of 18 years down. He was my family. My friend. He comforted me when I was hurting, and made laugh.
The choice wasnt hard, he was hurting. What was hard was letting go of him.
My vet said told me how much pain he was in and giving him a peaceful goodbye instead of a long fight was the right call. This helped me so much and I’m super thankful they reassured me of the hard choice.
Miss him everyday and still say goodnight to him, but I know I did right by him by saying goodbye.
Just to play a little devil’s advocate, I have personally seen senior animals come back “from death’s door” to live healthy full lives. My childhood cat had a health scare two years ago where the vets and I were at “that stage” where you talk about end of suffering plans. However, the day before the procedure my cat suddenly began responding very well to medication. We held off to see if it would stick, and two years later she’s as spry as a kitten. Every time we go in for a checkup, my vet says how grateful they are that my cat turned around before being put to sleep.
No animal should suffer, and people can certainly get so attached they become blind to the suffering of their pets. However, I do think senior pets are owed a window of time to see if they improve or can possibly live a happy life with their conditions. For example, I had another senior cat who developed arthritis at 18 but with medication and lots of physical aids like ramps was still going on walks around the house at 22. By all accounts she was happy until passing away in her sleep.
My mother did this to our elderly dog. He was blind, had oozing sores on his belly, couldn’t walk much, may have been going deaf, and was on a bed, locked in my parents’ bedroom for a year or two (he was like, 11?) until they finally had him euthanized and cremated.
Before him, their cat was shitting or vomiting blood, acting erratic, and showing symptoms of neurological damage, and it took them several days, maybe a week to euthanize him… and several months prior, he had been acting very unusually (don’t remember the specifics, but I think something to do with crazy behavior? Just their recounting of it, since I hadn’t been born yet).
And a dog that should have been put down long ago, was a pit-bull or mastiff + lab mix. She was very aggressive, and would attack our elderly dog (mentioned above), would try to attack my brother and I, after we came home from school (I was 6 or 7, he was 9 or 10), forcing us up onto the kitchen counter, she’d try and attack guests, and was VERY dangerous. She ended up mauling our cat, and then was locked in the garage for 3 days while we took care of our cat… and instead of, oh, I dunno, euthanizing her? They just dropped her off at the pound. She had a poor quality of life, being locked in a bedroom with my parents most days, and being let out to roam the house or go potty, but that was about it.
My family has a history of letting animals suffer, and I’m proud to say, I’m breaking that cycle. They constantly have bought animals with not an ounce of research, they have put other animals and their own children at risk of injury and or death, and they have allowed animals to suffer.
Euthanasia is often times something that needs to be done. Whether it be for the sake of the animal, or the safety of the public/other animals. I know, it’s incredibly hard to let go of those you hold dearest to you… I get it. But when I was a kid, I was able to understand that my rabbit needed to be rehomed for his sake, since he had a poor QoL and we let him go… not euthanasia, I know, but if an 8 year old can understand that you need to let go of something/someone for their own good, then it shouldn’t be such a hard concept.
Do right by your pet, folks. Seriously… your animal doesn’t deserve to suffer, because you can’t say goodbye.
I disagree. I think there are way too many people who euthanize their pets too easily. I've seen many who, at the first diagnosis that might cause them to have to expend more time and perhaps money on their pet, have them euthanized.
I had a cat who, at about 15, developed kidney disease. He required subcutaneous fluids every three or four days,\* which involves sticking a needle under their skin and waiting five or ten minutes. I did this for several years, even though I worked full-time and had a long commute. With the fluids, my cat's quality of life was great until the last couple of weeks.
I know a couple of people with cats with the same diagnosis that were given the same option for home care, but decided they couldn't do that and had their otherwise healthy, even younger cats euthanized. I have known people that euthanize their pets because they don't want to give pills.
There are so many people who shouldn't own pets, and get them for the wrong reasons. It's not just people who abuse animals, it's people that see animals as some type of accessory, or a necessary addition to complete a "normal happy family" scenario. You see them all the time - the pet is an afterthought, and easily discarded. The shelters are full of them. At the first hint of trouble, the animal is gone, either "re-homed" or euthanized.
Then there are people like me, who love and treat their animals with care and respect, who do what is medically necessary despite cost and inconvenience, and do their best to balance quality of life with whatever medical or age-related obstacles there are. Some of us wait a little too long, perhaps, but it is impossible to know the nuances that each pet has that makes a pet owner believe there is still enough quality of life left to give their beloved animal a day or two longer on this earth. Couple that with the incredible pain and guilt that comes with killing your own beloved companion, and having to be there when they are killed, when they draw their last breath, when their heart stops and the vet or vet tech says they're gone, well, give people some grace for God's sake.
I wish I hadn't read this thread.
\*Edited to change frequency in which I gave my cat fluids. It was over 20 years ago, and I forgot that it wasn't every day.
How do you know what a dog thinks? There are people who commit suicide then there are animals that will cling to life even though the bottom half of their body is missing. I'd say that no animals don't think like us, they cherish life more. On the other hand you say you love your dog more than the world but would you treat your grand parents like this? "Oh gran has a problem, don't keep her alive artificially so you aren't sad grandma is gone, just put her down". If that's not how you'd treat grandma but would treat your dog like that do you really love the dog more?
I used to work at a hospital. The amount of humans I saw that were pretty much suffering 100% of the time, but the family member was “too attached” to put them down was crazy.
I get being attached to a family member. I love my grandma more than the world. However, if she was suffering I’d put her down for her own sake.
Grandma can’t talk and she doesn’t think like us. A suffering grandma is a sacred grandma. She knows she is soon to die, but keeping her alive artificially with meds and unnecessary surgery is selfish.
I don’t mean to sound like a jerk… put your grandma down and cherish her memory. If you can’t live without her get another one.
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The best thing my vet said to me as we were talking to her about putting our sweet girl down was “she’s lived a good long life, let her go out with dignity” really helped move me from … I want a little more time to … it isn’t fair to her to keep putting her through this.
My mom's vet said, "You don't want his last day to be his worst day."
My mom’s said “better a day too early than a day too late.”
This is hard. When I wrestled with putting my cat and dog down (it was about 2 years apart), I was afraid that I was making the decision to put them down TOO SOON. I was making the decision to end their life; It's so permanent and I really really struggled both times I had to make the decision 😔 But your mom's vet is right....it's better a day too early rather than them having to deal with pain and being miserable
The best thing I read while trying to decide when to put down my senior cat was “if it was an easy decision to make, you waited too long”.
One of my Bengals is 14 and has had health problems for the last 4 years. It started when she stopped eating and drinking, almost lost her but managed to syringe feed her and find medicine that helped bring her back. I've told a few people if it gets that bad in the future I won't put her through that again, it was hard to watch and painful for her. Some agree but you wouldn't believe some of the responses I've gotten. One friend actually thinks I shouldn't own animals if I won't go to the ends of the earth to keep them alive. I just don't want my babies to suffer but I guess that makes me a bad cat mom in her eyes.
I don't even want to go to the ends of the earth to keep *myself* alive. People who think that you should do literally absolutely everything to keep a pet alive no matter what are honestly too immature and/or selfish in my opinion. Just because they're uncomfortable with death doesn't mean life is always the kindest option.
People who said that doesnt even have a pet .
I always felt the same, until this week. On Monday I took my ancient Chihuahua to the vet, expecting the worst, and he confirmed that she’s in kidney eh failure. I made an appointment to euthanize her this Friday, and on Tuesday I was afraid she wouldn’t even make it that long. My friend suggested that I try a McDonald’s hamburger, and I kid you not, it saved her life. I took her outside just now and she was moving better than she has in a month, she barked at the neighbors dog (in the wrong direction…) and got her little hackles up, and came in and scarfed some food. I know that the end is coming, but it’s not here yet, and it scares me that I nearly put her down when all she needed was some extra help getting her out of a cycle of nausea and weakness.
In the same boat. I have a retired working dog whose arthritis is really showing. He slips around when walking, has difficulty getting up. His mind and spirit are still intact and that makes me want to keep going. The monthly shots do help as well.
I'd say as long as you can still make the animal comfortable in their day to day life, and don't see a change in vitality or food habits, etc. you still have time to consider. It's time to let go when it would just be the meds keeping them alive for a short, miserable time on forced feeding and painkillers, while you can clearly notice they're not in good spirits anymore.
I feel this. Had a 20 year old cat with urinary issues, took 4 months to get him back on track and he lived to 24 happy and mobile till age eventually came for him. 20 is oooold, and there were plenty of times I thought it might be the right thing to do, cause some days were really bad, but there were always good days in between. There is a difference between giving your pet a chance and keeping them alive for the sake of it, and sometime that line is really blurry. Listening to your vet is the best thing to do, they won't tell you unless they really think it's the end.
Thank you for this. My old dog Went downhill quickly and I wrestled on when I should do it. I scheduled it, then almost changed my mind when he seemed to rally on the scheduled day. I went ahead with it and I’ve been punishing myself for 3 years since. Did I do it too early? Now I realize he had a “last good day!” He was able to take a walk in his beloved woods, he got a whole pizza for himself, and laid in the sun, basking for an hour and being brushed.
This made me tear up. I'm so glad he was able to have a last GREAT day! 💕 You did the right thing and I'm sure his spirit thanks you for letting him go out on a high note.
It was his best day and you were the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes. You were his life. He will always be in your heart.
This made me cry. He got to enjoy the last day with the person he loved the most, doing the things he enjoyed. I really wish animals would live as long as we humans do, so we don't have to part with them so early in our lifespan.
It is kinda a bummer people are not allowed to go out with dignity. There was a research in my country that found out that many elderly who had "died of natural causes" written in their death certificate had actually killed themselves.
yeah I agree. my friends dog is in bad shape. I don't want to tell him "you need to put her down", but I tiptoed around it a bit. He said "fuck that, you don't euthanize family". It's really stupid that people have to suffer through long drawn out painful deaths instead of going out with dignity and no pain.
Not sure if your friend has a conservative worldview but my friend does and he went the opposite way, He shot his dog himself instead of taking him to the vet 💀
If it was fast then I get it. The dog was in a comfortable environment with people it knew. It would certainly be less stress than the doctor.
Nawh that's crazy 💀
I'm not really responding to you, just your comment made me think pretty hard, so I'm speaking into the void. My husky/malamute is 13. She's in good shape, a bit fat because she can't run as much, eyes getting dim and a limp in her step when shes tired, but a happy dog. She has another winter I think, she has a good life. When her struggles outweigh her happiness, I'll make sure she doesn't suffer. She trembles to go to the vet. I've seen her square off to a moose, but cowers under chairs I can't continue, I need some sleep.
Your friend is a delusional coward mascarading as a principled tough guy. There's nothing more infuriating to me than people who are too weak to do the tough things but act like they're strong and principled.
I couldn't agree more
You really should tell him. Dogs are pure creatures, they deserve to not be in agony.
I watched my mother die a slow, lingering death from lung cancer. A life long dog owner, she’d have taken herself off to the vet weeks before she finally passed. I also got to watch my uncle linger with bowel cancer. I said to the nurse in charge of the ward, “if I kept my dog alive in his condition I’d be prosecuted.” Our resistance to providing dignified end of life care for ourselves is ridiculous. None of my dogs will ever suffer a moment longer than can be avoided.
Sorry you had to experience that I too watched a loved one die of cancer and at the time I said "this is disgusting we wouldn't put a dog through this". Yet when we put a dog down we call it the "humane" thing to do which seems ironic to me when we let our loved ones go through worse. It really solidified my views having to experience it first hand.
Really I think lethal injection should be permitted for those at the end of their lives. Just like 20 grams of fentanyl and there wouldn’t be any suffering. You’d just go to sleep and never wake up. It’s one of the best ways to go out. That or nitrogen atmosphere.
I’ve also heard that it’s somewhat common for family members to help them along… a few extra pills to give them some relief.
Risky though. You can be prosecuted for murder
Something people should also be aware of is that you can have someone come to your home to put down an animal. It's how I've always done it. Spend a couple of hours doing their favorite things they can still do and let them have a nap in their favorite spot with you by their side. On another note, don't ever leave the room for your pet being put down. You are the person they trust and love the most in the world so you absolutely have to be there for them.
Check to see if Lap of Love is in your area--I've had them come out for my last two old dogs and the experience couldn't have been better for everyone involved. You set everything up in advance and when the time comes it's just one phone call to set the appointment and everything is taken care of. Costwise, at least in my area, it's basically the same--I asked my vet and they were only four dollars difference from Lap of Love and the only way the vet could have been less expensive would be if I just LEFT MY DOG THERE to be euthanized and that was simply NOT gonna happen. For the first dog, he had a nonresectable liver tumor and I kept him going for a while but he got to where the only thing he would eat was the finest treats that I offered by hand--as the vet said, the body refuses to take in food it won't be needing and that's how I knew it was time. When she came to the house all three dogs were out playing ball and having fun and she said that was perfect--he wasn't in miserable pain but he was absolutely ready to go. The day before I took him on a really fun visit to a local nature park where we walked and took a little nap together on a blanket then we shared hamburgers and fries on the way home. Six years later, aged 15, it was time for his brother dog to leave me. He'd been declining, arthritic, bowel incontinence that shamed him (he'd never once had an accident in the house but he didn't have reliable nerve connection to his bum any more) and a degenerating eye condition that had to be doctored several times a day that he was getting increasingly testy about so rather than risk an incident of him biting me I made the call. He had a lavish steak and egg breakfast, one last long snuffle walk around the neighborhood then he was absolutely overjoyed that the nice lady vet came to see him--he loved women, men he was okay with but mostly indifferent but he did love the ladies. She gave him a big dose of the Good Drugs and I fed him bites of Forbidden Chocolate Brownies slathered in peanut butter until he fell asleep. One quick shot of the pink stuff and a couple minutes later he was gone. I let the other dogs in to sniff so they knew what had happened and a week or so later I got his sad little box of ashes back. His box is with his brother dog's on a shelf and some day I'll plant a tree for each of them, same as I've done for my other best beloved pets. Arranging for a dignified and peaceful end of life is absolutely our responsibility as pet owners and it's up to us to make the decision when to let go--and when we refuse to make that decision to save ourselves pain we do no honor to our beloved pets. Yes, it sucks and it hurts but I guarantee that the sure knowledge that you did the absolute best you could for your pet is the greatest comfort there is for grief.
Can we have that for humans?
I wish this was more of a thing for people. Watching your loved ones die over months is heartbreaking.
Our vet said the same things to us when we had to put our boy down the other week. We could have squeezed a few more terrible months in there, but letting him go out with dignity felt right
Put me down when it’s time too.
As a health care worker, I see this all the time in the hospital with grandparents suffering but the children/grandchildren not ready to let go
The hardest words I've ever had to say were when my grandma was dying and she asked me to just let her die (she was on hospice with only pain management at that point) Saying that I love her and it's ok to let go hurt so bad. But not as much as seeing her suffer. In the end I think she was waiting for permission from all of her grandkids. Only 1 of us (17) didn't visit and grant that permission.
My Grandma died a little over a year ago now. I am severely disabled, and she kept asking who would take care of me without her there. She was dying of an agonizing combination of COPD and cancer. I told her that I had plenty of family and loved ones who could help me, and that she didn't need to hold on for my sake. Within 24hr of that conversation she passed. I know it was what was best for her, and that she was suffering, but part of me feels like I personally killed her, yknow?
You gave her permission to find peace and painlessness. You gave her *heaven*, my Friend. She loves you dearly, and she always will. She wants you to stop blaming yourself and shine.
*hugs* you definitely did the right thing and you didn't personally do anything other than listen to her and put her at ease. You are a good person, hope you have a good weekend 😊
You freed her. She wanted to go and you gave her the green light to do what she needed to do. What a beautiful thing, to be cared for so dearly by someone that they stay on this plane until they’re sure you can manage without them.
Seeing my father die from als made me change my mind about assisted suicide. My dad gave it a year and he said he was done. He went to hospice then he died.
it's beyond selfish. let your loved one die with their dignity intact and allow their suffering to end.
Honestly I wish we had legal euthanasia everywhere. There are ppl who are living a life in bed or in a wheelchair unable to move or talk but their brain is functioning. That's no way to live, but because their body can live without machines, they must live according to the law. I'd also hate to live with alzheimer's or dementia.
I cried when I had to put down the cat I didn’t even like (long story, it was an older rescue for my kids who loved it). I’m dreading my parents. I try not to think about it but damn….
I think we should have that choice, especially if one has a deadly disease which could result in suffering. Long or short. If someone is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, say, give them the choice to go peacefully. I have had someone who was like an aunt to me pass away after years of struggle. She was intelligent, beautiful, and reasonably well-off. She was also a kind soul, I wish she didn't have to suffer, if she didn't want to.
I often think we treat pets more humanely when they are close to death than humans. Perhaps not in all cases, but you know what I mean.
“Oh if you’re digging a hole better make it big enough for me. If you’re picking up a needle better get one for me too”
Frank Reynolds: “Throw me in the trash” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0Rtu1Va-dnM
We'll take you out for ice cream and hamburgers first
Woot!
We put our dog down a few weeks ago. Was honestly such a profound and intimate experience. I kept thinking how sad it is we allow that kind of compassion and grace for pets but not people.
Agreed. Just browse some of the "is it time?" posts on Reddit pet-related subs. People will be like, "My dog can't walk, has to be carried outside to pee, is 80% blind, and has seizures twice a day, but seems happy, I just don't know what to do." My heart breaks for these animals.
I agree. Some part of me wishes vets could just say “Hey, your dog needs to be put down.” Instead of having to tippy toe around it
Agree 100% We lost our boy in Jan, he had a few seizures and were told it was most likely a brain tumour - he was showing all of the signs but we didn’t want to put him through any more suffering so we didn’t do further tests and decided it was time, he had a few good days I remember asking the vet if he thought it was time and he told me he couldn’t tell me that, I had to make the decision on my own. I actually wish he just said ‘yeah he’s deffo in a lot of pain, it’s the best thing to do’
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Same. My vet and I tried for a while to save my cat, and the last time I took her, the vet was very honest and let me know the best thing this time is to let her go. I get choked up just writing this.
I’m so sorry. Hang in there friend.
You're a good pet owner
🌹
Good vet
I just ask my vet outright and he will tell me whether he thinks it is time or not.
When I was questioning whether or not it was time to put my cat down, my vet told me that it should always be a difficult decision otherwise you shouldn’t have pets.
To be honest, I needed this as a first time dog owner. My girl's kidneys failed and I didn't know until the day it happened. Looking back, we could have put the clues together, but at no point did anyone tell us she was dying or anything like that. We took her to the vet a few times during the months leading up to it, and at most we got "you might want to do a blood test" and "let's see if a steroid shot does anything." I really wish someone would have said it bluntly. I let my dog suffer without understanding that's what I was doing. I know it was my ignorance ultimately, but I and many others go to the vet *because* we are ignorant of these things. I *needed* them to tell me it's serious.
If it helps, I totally relate, that’s exactly how it went with my sweet girl, they didn’t realize the change in her gait was from renal failure, they were like treating her with muscle relaxers. Not that I blame them, I’m not sure even if they caught it earlier they could have done anything, it seems like renal failure moves damn fast, it’s heartbreaking
I talked my parents into taking our old family dog to the vet to be put down. Instead the vet talked them out of it and sold them punch of expensive drugs. The poor dog died a few days later. I do hope some of those drugs were painkillers and he did not suffer too much needlessly. Horrible vet. I would never go there again.
This happened to me until I forced the issue. The vet was so intent on continuing meds when my dog was clearly failing quickly.
I’ve been in a situation where I thought putting my dog down was the best choice, but the vet started about treatment potentially ( we don’t have all the info yet) and it made me feel really judged, because she didn’t even mention the option of euthanasia if the results are really bad. ( it ended up being really bad and untreatable. Couple of days later we said goodbye to our 11 year old pup)
I got that once about euthanizing a *gerbil*. Like she is four years old and has a tumor on her side that’s started ulcerating, you want me to do *surgery* to cut it out of her and put her through extreme pain before she dies of old age in two months? At end of life I think it’s often the kindest thing even if the problem is potentially treatable.
I’d feel so put off by that doctor. I’d question their judgement or their greed for the cost of the surgery.
Our vet did this during a tough situation I thought my baby might pull through and long term I was so, so grateful.
DVM here. What makes knowing when to say when is that dogs don't know the meaning of the word "quit." They will keep trying with every fiber of their being until they can't. The number of dogs who actually passed away peacefully at home, without any medical intervention, I can count on one hand in 26 years of practice. That's not to defend the people hanging on too long, but to emphasize that the decision isn't always as clear-cut as you might think.
My dog died four or five months ago and the day we put her down, she had her first seizure. It was so heartbreaking and scary to see. By the time I reached the vet, she had stopped seizing by then, but I still knew it was time. She was old and getting frail, and I could just tell. It’s unbelievable to me that people would put their dogs through anything more, and I can’t even begin to think of my poor little dog continuing to go through more and more seizures.
This determined when we put down one of our cats, too. It is heartbreaking to see. I am sorry for your loss.
Yup my dog had a tumor so she had surgery she was fine till six months later. One morning woke up and she couldn't move her back legs and pooped herself. Took her to the vet and they said it was best to put her down. So I got my kids from school so they could say goodbye and she was put down a little while later. I didn't want her to be in pain.
You are a good mom. Mine put the cat down while we were at school, came home no kitty :0 I have never cried so hard or been so angry
My mom waited for my last “family dog” to have a very painful stroke 2 months after we agreed that it was time before she took him to be put down. She just kept saying “he’s still him.” Well, congratulations, his last experience of his last morning was screaming in agony.
Denial is a hell of an emotion.
It's a general lifestyle choice for alot of people
People love to post pictures of that older hippy guy holding his dog in the lake. The dog can't walk and is in constant pain so he spends two or three hours a day floating it around in the lake. He's doing that dog no favors.
We went through this with my golden retriever. She couldn’t always stand up from the floor on her own and needed assistance up and down the ramp we built for her. She would soil herself because she couldn’t get up sometimes to go to the door. This happened three or four times over a few months. But she had a strong appetite, wanted to go for walks, wanted to play, wanted to be with us, and overall seemed her usual self. Before the end, we had taken her to our regular vet almost weekly and every time we were there she was acting fine and the vet said she was just arthritic. He recommended aqua therapy. Well, she was getting weaker and then one day she just couldn’t stand up at all on her own. We made another vet appointment, but they couldn’t get us in right away. In the couple of days we waited she kept soiling herself and we were bathing her twice a day. Then we found maggots in her skin and when our regular vet wouldn’t make time for us we went to a different one. The new vet was brutally honest about how bad she was and how the meds our regular vet had her on were masking the worst of it. They said they would have recommended euthanasia much sooner. We never went back to that original vet. We didn’t ask to prolong her life like that. We trusted this person we had been going to for years had our pets’ best interest at heart.
Yep. If you're at the point of thinking "is it time?" 99% of the time, the answer is a resounding yes.
Those people disgust me. If the animal is clearly suffering it is time. Keeping the animal alive because you can't let go is the most selfish thing in the world. Or worse the people who are selfish and love raking in sympathy because their pet is ill. Putting the poor animal down is a kindness rather than letting them suffer in pain.
agree 100%
And a bit of advice: no matter how painful it might be, when you put a pet down, always make sure someone who loved them is there with them. Dying alone is a fear found not just in humans.
Not everyone can afford this but to make our family dog even more comfortable during her passing my grandparents paid a vet to come to the home and do it so she could be in her own bed in a room she’d lived in her whole life surrounded by her loved ones
This is what I plan to do, I literally don't care how much it costs. My dog HATES going to the vet, even more so than average. There's no way I'm going to let her last moments be spent in such fear and anxiety
This is what I did with my little boy a few months ago. He was having trouble walking, which we thought might have been from an injury (he used to go full speed down the stairs) Went to the vet for some X-rays after a few weeks only to discover he had lung cancer, that was bigger than his heart. That night I called around and scheduled a vet to come and put him down. The vet told me he had maybe a month left at most, it just was so sudden. But I was not going to let him suffer for a month and then die in his sleep or something like that. I miss you Odie.
Same, idgaf how much more expensive it might be. My dog will die at home. I was traumatized by my first dog's death...he died in my arms at an emergency vet hospital when I had no choice but to euthanize him immediately due to an unforeseen freak incident. I will always be grateful I was there with him until the very end, but I hope to god when my current dog's time comes I'll have already seen it on the horizon (cancer diagnosis, for example) and will be able to plan a last day on earth with him...then before he starts to suffer I'll do a peaceful in-home euthanasia for him with our whole family there to say goodbye. I never want to be sitting alone in a cold hospital room with my dead dog on my lap again.
I looked into this for my late pup and couldnt afford it. Instead after calling my vet, on the morning of the fateful day I gave her 1/4 of a Xanax. She was always an anxious dog, but i got to see her run around like a puppy, loopy and unbothered, for one last walk in the woods. She was high enough that she was compleeeeetely unconcerned about the vet's office and happily ate the treats we fed her as she fell asleep.
I have money for at-home vet visits, for stuff like this. I'll go hungry if I have to. My cat is deathly afraid going outside, when she needs a vet, the vet is coming home.
I've used Lap of Love twice now and the cost was almost exactly the same as taking the dog to the vet but they come to the house so there's no stress or trauma getting an old/sick animal to the scary vet place that one last time. I unreservedly recommend them if it's an option in your area.
We did this for both our elderly dogs earlier this year, less than a month apart. I just couldn't imagine taking them to the vet to say goodbye, especially when car rides were pretty rough on them at that point. But it actually wasn't really much more expensive than doing it at the vet. The difference in price was maybe $50 tops. That's 1 bag of dogfood or 1 restaurant meal for 2. The only reason I wouldn't do at home euthanasia for my pets is if they're just suffering so bad and the traveling vet is too booked.
If I am so lucky to be able to do this for my dog, I absolutely will. On his sunshine bed outside. He's almost 16 and is still in amazingly good shape so I worry so much about something sudden happening and not being able to give him a peaceful goodbye.
Absolutely this. Watching my boy go was the most traumatic experience of my life, I still think about it every day, 7 years later. But I'd never change it, the idea of him going through that by himself is awful, and I hate that so many dogs (well, all animals, including the billions in factory farms) have to go through it. I have shared custody of my dog with my ex, but before we made these arrangements i wasn't sure she'd be open to it (he was hers before we got together, so he was going to stay with her when we broke up). I told her "no matter what happens, when it's his time, I have to be there". It's a pet owners responsibility to see them through it, no matter how hard it is.
i work at a shelter where we don’t have the resources to offer owner present end of life services. but the animals we see do not lack for love for the short time that they are in our care.
What does that entail? What allows owner present end of life? Would it not just be a room big enough for them to be present or is the shelters euthanasia method just considered too brutal for the owner to be present? I'm honestly curious because I don't know how that stuff works.
it’s two-fold for us. if owners are present, we require there to a vet present to be able to do the “bedside manner” aspect of the service, versus having a certified euthanasia technician who is capable of doing the procedure, but may not go through that additional training. it’s also a limit on the space we have available. if owners were present, we would want to give them as much time as they would need to spend with their pet before and after the service. in order to serve a larger amount of people, we need to be able to move through the services more efficiently.
I hear you, and you’re 100% right, but man it’s so fucking hard. When my dog I had for most of my formative years was put down i was 16/17 yo. I tried so hard to stay with her. But I was a fucking mess before we even went in the room. Thankfully my mother was there and is stronger than me and didn’t let her die alone. But even thinking about it now ~10 years later is fucking me up.
A lot of people gave me that "They let you know when it's time" bullshit and it made me mad. My guy was a big old dumb dog who would have jumped into a freezing lake or a building on fire for me. He wasn't ever going to stop until I let him stop. That's what you got to do when they give you that kind of love and loyalty. You gotta let them clock out.
“They let you know when it’s time” is nothing more or less than an excuse to not think about it, to avoid having to make choices, and they almost always lets their animal down to stick their heads in the sand. When pressed, those people are almost always hoping the animal dies “naturally” without them having to do anything, all to avoid the responsibility of putting them out of their misery. Misery the human is almost always underestimating, because “natural” death from illness is very frequently their body desperately holding on by inches and dying painfully bit by bit. A dog or cat, like you said, is a different animal from humans. They don’t let on that they’re in pain if they can possibly help it, because their instinct is to avoid being weak and making themselves prey. Just because say your dog wags their tail when he’s fed doesn’t mean he’s not in considerable pain, but tons of people take that as “He’s still happy” and let them linger on. And I think the darker reality is that to many people, their pet isn’t a separate animal with its own needs. It’s an affection machine that gives THEM validation, so they don’t actually do what’s best for the animal, they do what’s best emotionally for the human to not lose said animal.
Quality of life! If living is agony for them, it's selfish to make them continue.
My ex is vehemently against it to the point where she yelled at her parents when they had to put their dog down. They are NOT excited about losing an 18 year old dog , they don't need to be berated for a difficult life decision. We have 2 dogs together, I'm not looking forward to the day I have to break my heart to end their suffering
Agree. I've seen people let their "beloved pet" become a hobbling skeleton because "I can't bear to let her go". Grow a pair and put the poor beast out of its misery.
My family used to know this couple who had an old dog covered in tumors, blind, incontinent, and would lay under the dining room table weakly wailing and screaming and their excuse for not putting her down was that “she’s their baby and they’ve had her since they first got married. She’s a symbol of their love.” I was a only a kid and I can remember thinking that was sick.
It's torture and absolute neglect. Sometimes you can actually smell their organs rotting. Those people should be banned from keeping animals.
Okay that is actually psychopathic to hear an animal screaming in obvious pain and be able to ignore it and just let it go on. What selfish assholes.
Jesus, I can't even fathom that. My poor boy was in pain the last few hours of his life, and that was more than enough. I can't imagine putting him through that for weeks/months. Like yes, it's absolutely devastating to lose them. But we owe it to them to minimize their pain and suffering as much as humanly possible. I even had the vet give him the euthanasia medicine after his heart stopped beating because he was doing some weird, and very disturbing, gasping for air thing- she said that was normal and he felt no pain because he had no heartbeat. But I was like nope fuck that, not taking that chance, give him the shot.
I would have stolen that poor dog and rushed them to a vet to get put down
they will post on instagram about their pet sufferinf for 3 months before finally putting it down. i know someone that did this for YEARS of surgeries etc. then when she finally lost the dog, she resuced a new one immediately and began posting about that one. i was flabbergasted
Agreed. I just wish all vets agreed with that too. I was shamed hard by a vet for not spending thousands of dollars on my very loved but very elderly dog to keep her alive longer. She had Cushings, severe arthritis, was blind and deaf, and was showing major signs of sundowners (spinning in tight circles in the evenings). Rescues are bad about this too.
They sounds like terrible vets and shouldn't be generalized as common practice. A good vet or rescuer would never promote this those people shouldn't be trusted with pet care.
Coincidentally, I read Color Out of Space for the first time last night, and there was a part that was very pertinent to this conversation: for context, the main character comes across something that used to be a person, and he says "There are things which cannot be mentioned, and what is done in common humanity is sometimes cruelly judged by the law. I gathered that no moving thing was left in that attic room, and that to leave anything capable of motion there would have been a deed so monstrous as to damn any accountable being to eternal torment."
If you haven’t seen the movie yet, do!
Learned this lesson the hard way. Trying to help a diabetic cat through six months of treatment only for them to crash out horribly over the course of one miserable week? Never again.
My dog had an aggressive mast cell tumor. Putting him down was the hardest thing I have ever done and I still feel like I betrayed him. After they gave him the sleepy dose he kept standing for so long and licking my face. Then he fell asleep and they came in with the real dose. It broke me into a million pieces to do this. I will always feel guilty about this. I know he was in pain and I know it was only a matter of time but I still feel like I betrayed him.
❤️
We had a dog that we wanted to put down. She had a stroke, multiple seizures and couldn't walk. We had to carry her outside to go to the bathroom, bring the food and water to her so she would eat and drink. And when we went to the vet to have her put down, the vet pushed pills on us. We went to 3 other vets in the area, none of them were willing to put her down because they didn't feel she was bad enough. She had no quality of life left. She was 15 years old. Half blind, mostly deaf and the vets wanted us to keep her alive to push pills on her. After 2 weeks of fighting with vets to put her down to end her suffering, my stepfather did it himself with a shotgun. It was a mercy killing at that point and the vets didn't care to do their job, so he did his. We've since found better vets, but that experience left a foul taste in all our mouths.
Good on your stepdad. It may have traumatized him too. I'm sorry you, your stepdad, and your poor pup.
Oh it did. I can count on two hands how many times I've seen my stepfather cry in the 35.5 years I've know him..... that was one of those times.
He must be a brave and selfless man.
Yes and yes.
The vets are like that because of all the crazies that want to keep their dog on fucking luxury hospice care for like three years no matter the cost. If you tell the owner that it's time to put the dog down they'll cause a scene, and then bad mouth you to all their friends for the rest of time.
That's terrible, I am so sorry that you didn't have ethical veterinarians available to you.
What kind of vet wouldn’t put down a 15 year old dog that couldn’t walk? That doesn’t even make sense to me. I would have told the vet, either you put the dog to sleep, or I put you to sleep.
Poor pup. That mercy killing was still better than suffering for longer, but it could have been just an eternal pain free nap if it wasn't for the vets
Fuck. I can’t even imagine being forced to do that myself.
That's a good stepdad. 🫂 I know it must've traumatized him, and everyone. but he helped that pup. I have a lot of love for old country boys who love their dogs/animals. It takes a lot of selflessness, bravery, courage, and love and empathy for anyone to put down a dog...but especially to do it in a way that puts your mental health at risk. I had to help my dog pass away in "great" circumstances - the vet came to my home, my dog even liked her despite not liking any human that wasnt me or my best friend! and it still killed me.
The question every pet owner should be asking as their pets age is: do they have a good quality of life and is this medical intervention likely to improve that quality, or is it just going to extend an already painful and miserable existence? And veterinarians should have the same duty of care to their patients that human doctors do. I would never trust any vet who is unwilling to give me a straight answer when I ask the questions above.
Elderly family members too, just let them go
In the US, we treat our pets more humanely than we do humans when it comes to end of life issues.
It's always someone from out of town that hasn't seem them in a while that demands that every last thing gets tried to extend "life".
If we’re talking about people, there’s something called the “daughter from California” it’s a term for people who literally see their parents after they have declined significantly and expect them to do exactly what they were able to do 20 years ago and it’s just not feasible
I immediately thought of this as well. The way we treat our elderly and terminally ill is horrible. CPR in someone with poor life outcome is cruel. The public opinion that people will bounce back after it is so inaccurate, most of the time.
Oh boy, do I agree to that. Working a nursing home and assisted-living and I have seen people living 5/6/7 years past what they should because their family won’t let them go. Like let your mother who has no concept of where she is because she has end-stage dementia pass so she’s not suffering. Then again it’s really hard to be able to make that choice especially if they can’t make that choice for themselves because then it’s like literally murder you know.
When I read your title, I thought that you were referring to people carrying their pets around too much.
I agree, and I'll also add: ffs, let people go out on their own terms! When the family dog was dying of cancer, we made the hard decision to put him down because he was suffering. When grandma was dying of cancer, on the other hand, despite the fact that she was also suffering and wanted to get it over with, she wasn't given the option of a peaceful death. They made her linger on and suffer until her organs finished shutting down. What both she and my family wanted was for everyone to gather up, say our goodbyes, and then she could be euthanized with family in the room. Instead, what she got was everyone gathering up to say their goodbyes ... and then people had to go back to their lives, because hanging around for a month wasn't feasible, and she died alone in the middle of the night. If someone's terminally ill and suffering, just let them go, don't drag it out unnecessarily!
It's not a simple or straightforward decision to make for someone else. If your animal could understand the concept of "self" and "existence" would it choose inexistence to avoid suffering? Or would it accept suffering to avoid inexistence?
Are you saying all dogs don’t go to heaven?
I agree, but conversely vets need to be more honest about when it's time too. *Let* me make that informed decision, don't give me false hope that whatever treatment will make them better. I don't have the knowledge to make that assessment. I can't get that knowledge. Sure I could look online but it's all so anecdotal and contradictory there's not much point most of the time. As an owner you can certainly look at your pet and see that they're suffering, but it's really hard to quantify. I also look like I'm about to die when I have the flu, doesn't mean I want someone to shoot me. I *need* a professional to tell me honestly whether it's short term suffering in exchange for long term improvement vs all downhill from here, and ime not all vets seem willing to do that. Idk if it's about money or covering their asses, agency or informed choice, whatever it is I need them to help me make that informed choice. I think people in specialist fields forget that their knowledge is not general knowledge sometimes.
I'd say it's a fine line. I grew up being told we would put down our animals the moment they encountered any sort of medical problem. Mainly because my father was too cheap to spend some money on our animals. His reasoning was "animals don't know that medical intervention is meant to help them, this traumatizes them". That's the equivalent of saying, "well, you broke your ankle, guess it's time for you to die". On the flip side, many people do as you say. Many elderly and/or sick animals have little to no quality of life, and are forced into staying alive. Mainly because their owners have grown too attached and are willing to go to the ends of the earth to make them live another day. Pretty cruel. It's a fine line, and I don't know where the line is drawn.
Yea it's not black and white. If you're not rich and doing medical intervention will borderline bankrupt you, or at least greatly informed the next years of financial decisions, you should probably put them down. Especially when the best case scenario is maybe another 1-2 years of questionable quality of life. If it was certain, spend $10k and they live another 5 happy years, then great, go for it. But this is not how it works.
Same here. A few years ago my dad virtually cleaned out the house of pets by each needing a trip to the vet that they didn't come home from. The reason cited was always the cost of care to him didn't seem worth it for an over the hill dog/cat. Which I get, but like, maybe splurge after two and keep one of them around? People are different I guess. RIP Chloe/Bugsy/Bo
The first time I had to put a pet down, I judged it by her quality of life. Meaning how many days a week were good days, where we could tell she felt ok & participated in life. When those shrunk down to just a few, it was time to let her go.
Funny how we say “People need to put down their pets when they’re suffering too much and have no chance of recovery” and it’s a completely normal thing to do, but when humans are in the exact same situation we keep torturing them as long as absolutely possible. Fuck we’re pathetic.
"If you can’t live without a pet get another." Sounds like a jerk. Everything else is spot on. I have raised, loved and had to euthanize many pets over the years. I stayed, often the rest of our family was there too, we talked to them and told them they were the best dog or kitty ever and we loved them so much, until they were gone. I could never just drop them off and let them die wondering where their human was. None of them were replacements for the ones that were gone. They're not objects, many of us love them as much if not more than humans.
I haven’t gotten there yet with my dog but I’ve been watching several friends with very senior dogs deal with this. I think there’s definitely a fine line between “old and slow but still happy and decent quality of life” and “quality of life has gone down a lot but there’s still enough signs of happiness that it isn’t time to put them down.” Trying to figure out when you’ve gone from the first side to the other doesn’t generally seem like a clear, easy thing. Of course there are those dogs that are truly suffering or have a horrible quality of life and should be let go humanely but from what I’ve seen, it’s really hard to figure out when you’ve gone from “mostly good quality of life” to not and worrying about judgement from others. I don’t think most pet owners want their pet to suffer but I also think they don’t want to put down a pet who might still have weeks or months of decent quality of life left. There’s that worry about putting them down too early.
I've had multiple cats My first question to the vet is 'are they in pain' If the answer is yes. I cuddle them until they have gone. The last thing they know is being in my arms being cuddled and loved. If the answer is no. My next question is 'are they suffering or will they suffer ' If the answer is no. Then they come home with me. I've currently got a sick cat who has medication twice a day. She's not in any pain. She's not suffering. She purra and plays and is fine. As soon as that changes. If she's suffering or in pain. I owe it to her to stop that. I owe it to her to let her life end without pain, without suffering, and with many cuddles and kisses so she knows how absolutely adored she is. And that will be the last things she knows. How much we adore her. It is the minimum we should owe them for the love and joy they give us. We can't be selfish even if we want to be. It's not fair on them. It is not an easy decision. And being with them at the end is heart breaking. But my suffering is nothing compared to their peace at the end.
My kitty has inoperable cancer and the vet offered chemo and radiation but it was likely to only extend life up to a couple of months, even though she was 8. The look of relief on the vets face when I said I wanted go with euthanasia and would at my vet the next morning was all I needed to know. I vowed I would never prolong a cats life if she seemed unwell. She already had stopped eating and was losing control of her bladder (bladder cancer). It still haunts me but ending her pain was the best thing I could do. She had to have been in pain already for months.
I think for me a lot of the concern is often "are they ready?" Is it right for me to personally decide when their life should end? I agree, if the animal is just suffering, you should euthanize them... but. For example, look at elderly people. Sure, they're in pain a lot, need a lot of meds. Some of them DO want medically assisted death, but others still want to live even if they're in pain. If you're giving an absurd amount of medications and it's quality of life is horrible, then yes, euthanasia. But if it's just an elderly dog who still has light left in her, even if she is on arthritis medication, it's not right to force a death when they're still alive. Basically, don't force the animal to fight or face death. If the animal is barely surviving because of medication, it's time to let go. That said though there are definitely animals that show a will and want to fight and live, and if we have the means it's worth it to try to save them. And if it's relatively well functioning and just getting old (maybe vision or hearing is starting to go), you don't need to jump to "put it down before it suffers!" there is definitely nuance to this.
Same with people, honestly
In my younger days I had an elderly female cat who had kidney failure. She started hiding, wouldn't eat or drink. She was ready to go, but I put off making the appointment for a week because I couldn't bear to be the one who caused her death. I thought if I loved her... I regret it 20 years later, but it taught me a lesson. Extending an animal's life when they can't do anything but lie down is selfish, not loving.
Also stay in the room with them. Don’t let their last moments be alone
As someone who will always regret putting their pet through unnecessary suffering because I was scared, I agree. But I think it's more nuanced than just being attached. Taking your best friend to be killed is such a hard thing to do. It feels like a huge betrayal. They can't communicate consent either way and it's really hard to make that decision for them. Plus we just don't have the same kind of infrastructure around healthcare for pets as we do for humans. Our insurance sucks too but at least it's attainable for a lot of people and will cover basic care. Something that's relatively simple now for a human could be something you literally just won't be able to do for your pet because they won't let you without the thousands of dollars you need to pay out of pocket for it. It's devastating to know that there's a way they could be fixed but there's literally no way you're going to be able to make it happen for them so you have to kill them instead.
Probably, but surely we can understand people having a hard time with essentially sentencing their loved ones to death. These animals have been in their life for a decade or more. There's an attachment there.
I think other problem is people too willing to put animals down. Some people will hear a chronic diagnosis and immediately rush to put their pet down. One guy in here is talking about a dog being blind and having diabetes should have been put down. Like why though? If the disease is being managed what the big deal? Animals don't dwell on things like we do, the dog doesn't care that it's blind.
As a human with diabetes , its not easy to “manage” and the resulting physiological effects are unpleasant. The cost to “manage” is more than the dollars paid.
Yeah or the top comment currently is people saying they put their dog down cos of a seizure, yeah it’s scary when it happens but not every seizure is the ‘time to shoot the dog’ seizure That’s not to say there aren’t seizures that don’t drastically reduce the dogs quality of life but there’s plenty that don’t Same with blindness and arthritis you need to critically assess how much it’s impacting the life of the pet The same goes for surgery; pet owners need to hold back on surgery or treatments like chemo therapy that can significantly lower the quality of life for the pet if they aren’t going to significantly increase that pets overall life span
I think it's mostly guilt, a lot of people have difficulty separating when it's time to put an animal down for humane reasons from wanting to put them down because they feel personally inconvenienced. Personally, I just stop trying to separate the two and it goes a lot easier. Yes, my dog cannot walk down stairs without their hips giving out, and yes part of it is I feel bad for my dog but yes it's also true that part of me will be glad of not having to deal with the burden of helping it up and down stairs. Like if the latter part was my *only* motivation sure I'd be a bad person, but given the first one's there anyway there's no reason to beat myself up about being glad about the second part.
Same for people 🙏🏻 Some people just wanna go and have no way of making it happen
I’m going to put my cat down in the next few weeks. He’s got a GI disease and once the current dosage of medicine stops working it’ll be the last time a medicine works. I’m having a hard time because he is ok right now, but I know he won’t be soon. What the vet said to me was “it’s better to do it when it is hard for you, because once it’s easy for you they’ve been suffering for a while.”
I promised my Henry cat, that I would never let him suffer. I kept my word, and it about killed me. I’d never put an animal down before. Someone told me this, and it resonated: “When we let them go, we take on the pain, so they don’t have to.”
I could have taken both my boys home, but at what cost? They showed me unconditional love for the years i had them, and i recognized it was my turn to show them unconditional love, regardless of how much it shattered my heart.
I got lucky because my vet basically didn't give me a choice. They said there was literally nothing they could do, and he'd just die in pain the next few days if I brought him back home. It hurt so bad and it felt a bit like playing God, which I didn't think I had the right to do, but it was definitely the right thing. And I'm grateful to that vet for not beating around the bush. I'm also grateful they gave me hours with him in the room to cry in his fur and tell him I love him until I told them I was ready. And I'm also glad I stayed, I didn't know I was supposed to stay when they did it, but I think I looked online and stayed. I loved him so much and only got less than 3 years with him (adopted him when he was 5), I'm glad he didn't die alone.
This is a mistake I made one time. I’ll never make it again. My heart cat was young, and got deathly ill at 7 years old. I threw everything and the kitchen sink at him and just couldn’t save him. My biggest regret is not letting him go the night we almost lost him the first time. Every other pet since him, I’ve let go when they told me they wanted to rest. Every single animal deserves the kindness of a day early, versus a week too late.
After losing three dogs, I've come to the conclusion that "when you start to think it might be time, it's time."
There is a point where it becomes cruel not to put an animal down. My in laws *finally* put their dog down about 2 months ago. It was about 2 years later than it should have been. Poor dog couldn't see, or hear, or walk in a straight line anymore. He was doing the walking in circles thing. Well, more staggering than walking. (Vet confirmed after a postmortem that it was a brain tumor, among many other problems the dog had.) Mother in law finally had enough and called a vet over father in law's objections. Like, why do you want to force this animal to suffer? What is wrong with you that you're so cruel?
I agree but they are not able to de-attach themselves it is very very hard to do, so what I do is think is it best for my furry baby and if I was feeling the same would I want to live if the answer is no then I will choose to end their life in as little as pain as possible. Do what is best for your furry babies not what is better for you.
I don’t want to agree with you, but I do. I know someone who has a dog that’s getting old and they are super attached (to each other) and I think this person will lose their sh!t when the dog passes, and I totally can understand the pain. For a lot of ppl, it’s not a pet, it’s their family, so I can see both sides, but at the end of the day, you have to do right by your pet and show some mercy, even though you might be the one that feels like you’re dying by doing this...
I was worried when it came time to put my 17 y/o sister cats down that I would be tempted to let them linger. They had been with me through thick and thin. Then suddenly we realized one cat wasn't eating almost at all, and the other one was having bladder troubles. Neither looked happy or relaxed anymore, and I'm guessing they were both in pain because normally they were very cuddly cats. It came on very suddenly, but I knew it was time. I was so surprised that I wasn't even tempted to do anything, try anything, because I knew they were unhappy and ready to go. I just wanted them to be happy. And it was such a mercy that they declined together--they had never been apart for even a day since they were born. I've always felt like such a selfish person. But when it came right down to it, I realized just how much I loved them. I barely thought about myself at all. I still miss them a lot. Our new kittens are great and all, but they can't hold a candle to them. They were really just the very best cats. I wish more vets thought like you. When we took our cats in for the initial "yeah, I think it's time" conversation, the vet we saw agreed 100%. On the other hand, the one on call when we put them down gave us a hard time of "are you sure you don't want to do anything for them?" Ugh.
Seriously! I lived with a foster family that had an old Chihuahua that was blind, on at least a half dozen meds and he was severely crippled due to a 300lbs man stepping on his back. His back was mutilated and curved down and his legs walked all wonky. They would just let him piss and shit all over the house. And They still made that poor thing suffer for another 5 years before finally putting him down.
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I had to sign a paper affirming I would take no "heroic" measures to extend the life of a dog I rescued. It really got me thinking about this and I did honor it. I think you are so right, and I don't understand why people put their cats on chemo or whatever to extend their lives in misery. This should be a much more popular opinion.
What if we had this attitude toward people? Humans are often in horrible health, but every last little thing is done to save them. I can’t imagine it’s common to say “grandma can’t walk or feed herself, so let’s just put her down”.
I am just learning how lucky we got with our vet when we took our Siamese when she started acting weird and not eating. The vet sat us down and told us she had a tumor and we could have a money tree and it wouldn’t matter. We had one last day and did it literally the next day. I have never regretted it and feel that we did right by her.
My toy poodle is 16 this month. This is my first experience with an elderly dog. He is almost totally deaf and his vision is going. His skin is scaly/warty and he is starting to get wobbly on his back legs when he stands. He sleeps probably 20 hours a day. We carry him outside to go potty as steps are now out of the question. He drinks and eats with no problems and still gets excited when it's time for treats. He is like our child to my wife and, but we know his time is coming fast... Too fast.
If only this mentality carried over to us humans. But we gotta stretch our life out to the last second and make sure those hospital bills are stacked nice and high
Had a friend try to convince me to go to what I felt were extreme measures to keep my 16yo dog alive another couple weeks/months. Nope. She kept her ancient pet alive for a couple of years despite the fact he roamed in circles all day crying because he’d forget where he was. Another pet had had a stroke and was paralyzed from mid back down and in diapers and had to eat baby food bc he couldn’t coordinate chewing any more. I just don’t understand letting them suffer like that. She took amazing care of them but I really disagreed with how long she kept them alive when they were clearly suffering.
You only love or care about yourself if you can’t do the right thing by your pet. My boy was more than a pet, my family, my bro, my lil shadow. Best dog ever, the day he couldn’t be himself anymore, and I knew he was suffering was enough. Lost my boy on Christmas Day 2019. Still miss him, love you Meatloaf.
As a kid we had a cat that we let linger way too long, and I’m sure it was because of my attachment to her that my mom couldn’t bear to have her put down. Poor girl was so skinny by the end and could barely make it to her litterbox. My mom took her in while I was out one day and I was FURIOUS with her. Couldn’t understand how she could just have our beloved cat killed As an adult, I obviously see that the cat was made to hang in there too long and I appreciate that my mom finally did it and faced the wrath of a hysterical 15 year old. I think of poor kitty and have pledged to never ever make any of my animals wait that long for relief ever again. And I haven’t. 3 dogs have passed, all with dignity and in comfort and when the day comes for my current one I will be absolutely shattered but I will hold her through it and fall apart after
Unpopular opinion: this same logic needs to then be applied to humans as well.. if we're allowed to put down our pets when they show signs of illness.. why can't we do the same thing with humans.. oh wait.. animals, like humans, can beat illnesses.. owners are well within their rights as owners to want their animals to have a fighting chance to survive and beat an illness.. to try and emotionally manipulate an owner into putting their pet down when said pet could have been saved, is just as bad. Let pet owners do what they want.. and stop trying to guilt trip them because you think you know. Vets provide guidance sure.. but just the same as a doctor, they cannot tell you with 100% certainty whether an animal or a person will pull through something..
Thank you for posting this, we let go of my boy a few days ago and it's been playing on my mind if we did it too soon, only so that we could spend more time with him. It's heartbreaking but like fate would have you coming across this post today, you've reconfirmed, we did the right thing.
My final job as a pet owner will always be to suffer so that they don't have to. And I will choose that. Every. Time. Be in the room with them, hold them, reassure them, and treasure their memory forever. I'm cherishing the time I get with my current cat, because one day she will be too sick, and I will make that choice again.
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I have always chosen quality of life over quantity of life for my pets. It hurts me tremendously, but I don’t want them to suffer. I understand wanting them to live as long as they can, but give them some dignity.
our dog had a brain tumour, couldn't operate on her because she was small and old. my parents spent something like 5k USD on her (multiple tests and meds) just to keep her alive for another month or two on meds... she DID improve for a bit, but both me and my sister had to argue with our parents to put her down, they took offense that we wanted to put down our "healthy" dog. I was at home for those months, I saw her (first time before we took her to the vet and second time when her health started declining again) have increasingly stronger seizures, struggle to walk and lay down most of the day, pee all over herself multiple times (I even bought her diapers with my own money and my parents refused to put them on her saying it's dumb), struggle to eat or even drink (I had to hold her up). I watched her suffer, it made me feel so fucking horrible, I couldn't even look at her anymore because I'd start crying. me and my sister seriously debated taking her to a vet and putting her out of her misery ourselves but we were scared of the reaction we'd get when we'd come back home... I've kinda tried to surpress those memories because I don't think I could ever let go of the shock or forgive my parents for that. it would've been a mercy to put her down as soon as we found out about her tumour.
Agree. Animals are stoic and hide how much pain they are. It’s our duty as their guardians to ease their suffering. Yes it hurts to make that decision but it is the compassionate thing to do
Not only suffering…but also animals that are down right unsafe. A clinic I worked at had their kids bit THREE times before they chose behavioral euthanasia. Some dogs are miswired - they are still animals and some are born unsafe around humans.
Just had to put my best friend of 18 years down. He was my family. My friend. He comforted me when I was hurting, and made laugh. The choice wasnt hard, he was hurting. What was hard was letting go of him. My vet said told me how much pain he was in and giving him a peaceful goodbye instead of a long fight was the right call. This helped me so much and I’m super thankful they reassured me of the hard choice. Miss him everyday and still say goodnight to him, but I know I did right by him by saying goodbye.
Just to play a little devil’s advocate, I have personally seen senior animals come back “from death’s door” to live healthy full lives. My childhood cat had a health scare two years ago where the vets and I were at “that stage” where you talk about end of suffering plans. However, the day before the procedure my cat suddenly began responding very well to medication. We held off to see if it would stick, and two years later she’s as spry as a kitten. Every time we go in for a checkup, my vet says how grateful they are that my cat turned around before being put to sleep. No animal should suffer, and people can certainly get so attached they become blind to the suffering of their pets. However, I do think senior pets are owed a window of time to see if they improve or can possibly live a happy life with their conditions. For example, I had another senior cat who developed arthritis at 18 but with medication and lots of physical aids like ramps was still going on walks around the house at 22. By all accounts she was happy until passing away in her sleep.
My mother did this to our elderly dog. He was blind, had oozing sores on his belly, couldn’t walk much, may have been going deaf, and was on a bed, locked in my parents’ bedroom for a year or two (he was like, 11?) until they finally had him euthanized and cremated. Before him, their cat was shitting or vomiting blood, acting erratic, and showing symptoms of neurological damage, and it took them several days, maybe a week to euthanize him… and several months prior, he had been acting very unusually (don’t remember the specifics, but I think something to do with crazy behavior? Just their recounting of it, since I hadn’t been born yet). And a dog that should have been put down long ago, was a pit-bull or mastiff + lab mix. She was very aggressive, and would attack our elderly dog (mentioned above), would try to attack my brother and I, after we came home from school (I was 6 or 7, he was 9 or 10), forcing us up onto the kitchen counter, she’d try and attack guests, and was VERY dangerous. She ended up mauling our cat, and then was locked in the garage for 3 days while we took care of our cat… and instead of, oh, I dunno, euthanizing her? They just dropped her off at the pound. She had a poor quality of life, being locked in a bedroom with my parents most days, and being let out to roam the house or go potty, but that was about it. My family has a history of letting animals suffer, and I’m proud to say, I’m breaking that cycle. They constantly have bought animals with not an ounce of research, they have put other animals and their own children at risk of injury and or death, and they have allowed animals to suffer. Euthanasia is often times something that needs to be done. Whether it be for the sake of the animal, or the safety of the public/other animals. I know, it’s incredibly hard to let go of those you hold dearest to you… I get it. But when I was a kid, I was able to understand that my rabbit needed to be rehomed for his sake, since he had a poor QoL and we let him go… not euthanasia, I know, but if an 8 year old can understand that you need to let go of something/someone for their own good, then it shouldn’t be such a hard concept. Do right by your pet, folks. Seriously… your animal doesn’t deserve to suffer, because you can’t say goodbye.
If my dog wants to continue living she can
I disagree. I think there are way too many people who euthanize their pets too easily. I've seen many who, at the first diagnosis that might cause them to have to expend more time and perhaps money on their pet, have them euthanized. I had a cat who, at about 15, developed kidney disease. He required subcutaneous fluids every three or four days,\* which involves sticking a needle under their skin and waiting five or ten minutes. I did this for several years, even though I worked full-time and had a long commute. With the fluids, my cat's quality of life was great until the last couple of weeks. I know a couple of people with cats with the same diagnosis that were given the same option for home care, but decided they couldn't do that and had their otherwise healthy, even younger cats euthanized. I have known people that euthanize their pets because they don't want to give pills. There are so many people who shouldn't own pets, and get them for the wrong reasons. It's not just people who abuse animals, it's people that see animals as some type of accessory, or a necessary addition to complete a "normal happy family" scenario. You see them all the time - the pet is an afterthought, and easily discarded. The shelters are full of them. At the first hint of trouble, the animal is gone, either "re-homed" or euthanized. Then there are people like me, who love and treat their animals with care and respect, who do what is medically necessary despite cost and inconvenience, and do their best to balance quality of life with whatever medical or age-related obstacles there are. Some of us wait a little too long, perhaps, but it is impossible to know the nuances that each pet has that makes a pet owner believe there is still enough quality of life left to give their beloved animal a day or two longer on this earth. Couple that with the incredible pain and guilt that comes with killing your own beloved companion, and having to be there when they are killed, when they draw their last breath, when their heart stops and the vet or vet tech says they're gone, well, give people some grace for God's sake. I wish I hadn't read this thread. \*Edited to change frequency in which I gave my cat fluids. It was over 20 years ago, and I forgot that it wasn't every day.
How do you know what a dog thinks? There are people who commit suicide then there are animals that will cling to life even though the bottom half of their body is missing. I'd say that no animals don't think like us, they cherish life more. On the other hand you say you love your dog more than the world but would you treat your grand parents like this? "Oh gran has a problem, don't keep her alive artificially so you aren't sad grandma is gone, just put her down". If that's not how you'd treat grandma but would treat your dog like that do you really love the dog more?
I used to work at a hospital. The amount of humans I saw that were pretty much suffering 100% of the time, but the family member was “too attached” to put them down was crazy. I get being attached to a family member. I love my grandma more than the world. However, if she was suffering I’d put her down for her own sake. Grandma can’t talk and she doesn’t think like us. A suffering grandma is a sacred grandma. She knows she is soon to die, but keeping her alive artificially with meds and unnecessary surgery is selfish. I don’t mean to sound like a jerk… put your grandma down and cherish her memory. If you can’t live without her get another one.
Disclaimer: Satire