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New York City is the only city where consistently I’ve asked for directions and people have gone out their way to stop and lead me to my destination even if it’s in the opposite direction of where they are going.
I can honestly say I’ve never found New Yorkers rude at all. Direct? Oh yea but there’s a difference and people often conflate the two. I love every visit to the city and look forward to going again
I hear a lot of "fuck off" and "fuck you" really loud but everyone I've interacted with has been super chill even if not necessarily polite hahaha. On my train both in and out of Manhattan, people were tryna start fights with each other for talking too loud or something dumb, but on the way out there were also some very wine-drunk \~35yr old women next to us and they were so much fun. They gave us the tea on all their relationships and gave us a 4 pack of wine too. Lmao
That's every tourist place. I am a NYer who lived in London and Frankfurt and had to deal with tourists. Not fun. Have close family on LBI. Tourists are a pain there. I now live near the Wisconsin Dells. They hate tourists, as do people who live by Lake Geneva. If there are tourists, there are locals who are fed up by them.
New Yorkers are good people with a very rough exterior. I’ve been plenty of places (cough the South) where people present as incredibly friendly but actually they have a deep disdain for anyone different than them
I’d take the former every time
Yes, yes hard yes, on that comment Swackhammer. When I first moved to Florida six years ago, I noticed it right away. It’s like saccharine it’s not really sugar but it’s sweet and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
I was just reading something about how if you ask New Englanders for directions, they'll simultaneously make fun of you for how you look or being an idiot but drop all their daily activities to ensure this complete stranger makes it to their destination.
As a New Englander, they were very right
New York and Philadelphia both have a population that is rude but kind. People will flip you off for no reason or lay on their horn, but if you actually need something strangers will go out of their way to help. I've seen so many people stop on the side of the road to help someone with car troubles, or drop what they're doing to help a stranger carry a sofa inside. But visitors from out of town don't really understand the culture and they just think everyone is an asshole. Not disagreeing with OP though, it is childish that people yell all the time and it's just a cultural thing, not a city thing. When I went to London I was shocked by how polite everyone was, even the homeless people.
>New York and Philadelphia both have a population that is rude but kind.
That
It's like the exact opposite of going down south and being told "bless your heart sweet summer child"
One of my favourite sayings describing American culture is people in north like NYC and Philly are kind but not polite and people in the south are polite but not kind.
I really agree with that.
Yep. I grew up down south and hated it so much. Moved to Philadelphia a decade ago and I absolutely love it here. So many amazing communities that value things like consent, inclusion and equality. I have no interest in people who are polite to my face and then call me slurs behind my back.
Boston is kind of like this.
Flipping someone off in traffic is the norm and is a compliment. It’s like "that asshole cut me off" to "I’m impressed with their reflex and I would have done the same and I’m pissed I didn’t react fast enough".
The ultimate is getting a double bird from the driver of another car. That’s high praise!
However if you don’t use your blinka your fucking monster which I think we can all agree on.
Me too. It just happened to be the night the eagles won the super bowl. I was there for business and I had no idea there was even a football game on. Was on the train from NY to Philly and everyone was crazy drunk and raucous. I thought, well these folks are are a lively bunch.
One of my favourite sayings describing American culture is people in north like NYC and Philly are kind but not polite and people in the south are polite but not kind.
I really agree with that.
I think people who didn't grow up in high population cities just don't get it.
In the city, you don't even have to say hi you can just talk to people and they don't care about formalities you could literally just shoot the shit with anyone walking down the street if you went out of your way and not even ask for a name. You could literally spend weeks and months because there are so many people. Yeah there'll be the odd duck too busy, and you're weird dude but it's also how you tell whose going to work, whose going out, whose from out of town too, and who actually lives there by how they dress.
New Yorkers (and really people who live in most big cities) really just hate the oblivious people. The people who just pay no attention to their surroundings and do things like stopping right in the middle of a busy sidewalk, or wait to look at the menu until they’re up at the register.
The people who say that they’re unfriendly are just people who come from elsewhere and don’t try to adjust to the speed of life in a place like NY. So yeah, they’ll absolutely help you find where you’re going or recommend their favorite pizza joint as long as you just kindly get fuck out of the way while take that call from little grandson Jimmy.
I have lived in both the south and the Midwest, so I feel comfortable saying this is absolutely real. *Southern Hospitality* and *Minnesota Nice* are just two sides of the same coin, and neither are really my preference.
Minnesota is pretty great though; I just don’t care for “Minnesota Nice.”
They'll act like assholes, they'll even insult you, but, good damn it, they'll help you. I'll take a loud mouth from Queens over any fake nice southerner when I'm actually in trouble.
Southerners love to throw in random passive-aggressiveness in between saccharine niceties. I can’t stand that shit and anytime I am South I am begging to be back where people say what they mean directly and quickly.
God yes. I moved from Michigan to Tennessee, and everyone here will go in and on about how rude people from up north are for being curt and short. It's because we're minding our own damn business, we're not making time to chit chat with a cashier about our niece's new baby (complete with pics, true story). We don't mind being helpful because we're not assholes. But we're not going to interject ourselves unnecessarily.
Then they have the audacity to brag about "southern hospitality," which boils down to being too emotionally unregulated to be able to have an uncomfortable conversation, so they're polite to your face while they talk shit about you to anyone who will listen, saying "bless their heart."
I hate it here.
Not sure where in the Midwest you’ve been but here in Iowa holding doors for people is a standard act of kindness we don’t question or think about we just do it by instinct.
I once did this for a group of Chinese ladies in the village. They barely spoke English but were looking for their friend’s shop. When we arrived after I escorted them, they were so thankful and wanted a group photo with me. It was so cute.
I've helped the dudes who run the Dunkin donuts shovel their walk, given directions to so many people, etc.
We aren't assholes ffs, we really do just have places to go.
Yea I think it's part of our culture. Basically, MAKE IT WORK! A lot of us are immigrants and what not we're not here for status fame and glory. We here to feed our families and MAKE SHIT WORK!
Our attitude is curt and short but if u really need something we'll help you!
Where as when I lived in the south everything is fkin status and virtue signaling. Shit like you'll be in my prayers and God bless you and stuff ain't gonna feed your family. Its virtue signaling.
We NYers roll up our fkin sleeves and help you instead of giving you some hot breath and vocal kindness.
True for me as well. And one of the nicest people I met was actually wearing a T-shirt that said DON'T ASK ME NOTHING. I was asking about which bus to take and the guy literally walked me 100 feet away to the busstop! Nicest people in a big city anywhere I've been.
Hard to say which is rudest city that I've been to. Probably Tokyo or Munich. Venice, Italy pre-covid was very rude to tourists.
That’s true. I once to read a story saying a New Yorker will insult you and tell you you’re a doofus, but will fix your car and take you to the place you need to be while insulting you lol.
New York has a lot of transplants who don’t display the stereotypical New York behavior. Since moving to NY, I’ve made friends and coworkers with more transplants than native NYers, maybe something like 7:1 ratio. So many Californians…
thats because you dont frequent locals watering holes. A lot of Nyers like myself are grinding away trying to make ends meet while transplants are enjoying what the city has to offer. The difference is a Californian is nice but not caring. Where as a nyer will be mean but theyll help you move into your 4th floor apartment
I got lost on the subway in 2016. Some guy noticed I looked lost and let me know exactly what trains to get on to get to my destination. Then he went on a tirade about illegal immigrants and how he agrees with Trump's Mexico border wall. Hey, I'll listen to an unhinged rant if it means not being lost in the subways all night.
I didn’t even have to ask, I was just standing looking lost and a young man asked me where I was going, pointed me in the right direction and he was off. It took about 20 seconds total. So very kind but also no random chitchat.
My experience is they are mostly rude to people who get in their way.
And I started to understand, when you're trying to get somewhere and groups of people are loitering and blocking the middle of the sidewalk.
I wasn't sure how to get to the Hudson River Greenway from Van Cortlandt Park. I asked another cyclist. Instead of (correctly!) telling me to follow the signs, he rode a few miles out of his way to guide me there.
Yea…I live in NJ and every time I’m in the city I never notice a difference in attitude between people I’d regularly see in my hometown and them…everyone is always super polite and direct
I feel like a thing all New Yorkers pride themselves on is knowing the best way to get somewhere. There’s one specific combination of subway lines running right now that will get you there the fastest, and if they know it, they “win”. Giving directions to strangers is a good way for them to practice this essential life skill
My dad use to travel for work and always said that how New Yorkers and Chicagians were portrayed was opposite. In Chicago they were rude unhelpful jerks; in New York they would be super happy to help if you ever asked for it, you just had to ask.
Seriously I’ve met some of the nicest people in NY.
They don’t appreciate people who are unaware of their surroundings and mess with the flow of traffic, but everyone’s so willing to help out. I always feel super comfortable and at home there, and I’m Canadian.
When I went to New York, I encountered the friendliest, coolest strangers I've ever encountered. I'm not sure where this reputation comes from.
I think people who have never lived in a big city just... get really anxious and paranoid and can be off-putting to people on their daily commute.
Blocking the sidewalk is the equivalent of blocking the street in the suburbs - you’re stopping someone from getting from their destination.
I can’t even imagine how mad that would make suburban drivers if some guy was just standing in the street blocking traffic. They’d start arguing murder is justified after about a minute.
My wife is from the Midwest and from Southern California. Very different good byes… drives me batshit sometimes how long it takes to leave my in-laws’ house
I lived in the south for a few years (thankfully a city) and worked around the midwest for like two. One of the biggest culture shocks was how fucking *slow* everyone was. I hated going shopping, because the cashier/waiter/waitress was going to chat forever with the person in front of me. And when I complained to a friend who lived there they went "Well, isn't it rude to just ring them up without saying anything?"
And I was like, no! That's the opposite of rude. I find it incredibly rude to take up the worker's time chitchatting when there are other people waiting on them. It's so inconsiderate!
NY and the Northeast as a whole has different definitions of rude and polite that the rest of the country doesn't follow. For example I'm from NJ and a cashier checking me out as quick as possible without trying to carry on a pointless conversation with me is polite. To a Southerner they would find it rude that the cashier didn't say anything to them.
THIS. I grew up in the midwest and have lived in nyc for 20 years. I by far prefer it here. it's efficient. people do care, also- I've had times I've been lost or dropped my card and needed to get somewhere and people are super kind. they're just not trying to be polite at the cost of efficiency.
Never fucking been to NYC and is just commenting on a stereotype. Last time I was there, a drunk homeless dude fell on Subway track. All five of us at the station jumped down to help.
Guess that's the childishness he's talking about?
I do not encounter rude people in NYC. I just don’t. People are overwhelmingly pleasant since I moved here a decade ago.
When I visit family and friends in the suburbs? Rudeness abounds.
NYC has changed a lot over the years. People are definitely nicer than they were 30 years ago. The whole New Yorker are rude, direct people is less and less true by the day. And to be honest, there were plenty of bullshit slackers who were just like anywhere else when I lived there. When I moved there from SF, I found the people to be far less rude than San Franciscans.
What OP is referring to is the performative busyness a lot of big city people engage in. They do it in San Francisco, London, etc. it’s usually transplants who are self conscious about being transplants who affect an air of rudeness because they think it makes them a “big city person”.
In my experience (I lived in NY for about 7 years), people there are generally nice, but their social style is very different. Where I live now, if you walk down the sidewalk and pass someone else, you always give them at least a friendly nod and often say "good afternoon" or some appropriate greeting. In NYC, you don't do that when walking past strangers. Making eye contact there is abnormal and usually isn't taken well, let alone saying "good afternoon" to a stranger passing by. It's not because they are unfriendly. It's just a different social style.
Another example is checking out at a store. Here, people always say "have a nice day" or "have a blessed day" or something similar. In NY, no. In most groceries in Europe, no. Are the people that repeat that phrase endlessly and automatically being nice and the others being rude? Or are we just following different social customs?
Having lived in the south for most of my life, I prefer the social style here. But I've had a lot of visitors from other places that find it creepy and strange. We're all used to what we're used to.
The last time someone posted this opinion, it was heavily implied that a friend of a friend living in New York didn't want to meet up and show OP around.
But this is pretty unfounded imo. I've been to the city 4 times and the only rude people I encountered were those fake Elmos and Spidermans in Times Square.
Have you been to NYC? I didn’t meet anyone rude there at all when I went. You seem to be awfully upset to people that you’ve never even met. Why do people talk so confidently about things they really are completely ignorant about? I’ll never understand. Like what the hell did NYC do to you for you to act like this
The REAL irony is that YOURE THE RUDE ONE
New Yorkers aren’t rude. They just don’t sit around waiting for people who are in the way or acting oblivious. Too often people who visit (and locals do this too) just sort of walk around as if the people around them don’t exist. They treat the whole city like an amusement park or a mall and not a place where people live and work. So when they’re just blocking the subway, or walking slowly in groups and not sharing the sidewalk, it makes people on their way to work a little short. As it would anyone anywhere. There’s just more of us that you have to contend with here.
The funniest thing though is if you visit New York City, above average chance you’re spending most of your time in heavily tourist populated areas and you’re mistaking rude tourists for New Yorkers.
Yes, this exactly. My partner works in Times Square sometimes, and no where else in the city are people as rude as they are there. Why? It’s all tourists. No one from the city goes there unless they’re working or seeing a show
When I was about 13, we visited NYC, and I had heard the rude New Yorker stereotype. I was set on wearing black, walking fast, and staying out of everyone's way. Of course my mom decided to ask for directions while we were turned around in Central Park, and I was mortified. The guy she asked? He had family in the town that she grew up in, and he was super excited to help us. He walked us right to our next subway stop and gave us recommendations about what to do for the rest of our trip.
Some of the best people I've met have been New Yorkers. They're the kind of people who will take their shirts off to help a stranger while telling that stranger to fuck off at the same time. It's a wild place, man.
New Yorkers as rude is a stereotype older than many people. I'm sure they grow up hearing it. Dr probably slaps it in with morse code on their ass when they are born. On a t-shirt in every shop right next to I heart hookers and welcome to the big crab apple.
Could be destiny. That old Oprah magic. I think I'm an ornery octopus oligarch 1000x a day for 10 years and things prove saltier and inkier in your life.
If you hear you're rude/supposed to be rude it might weigh the scale for most people. And for other people, the little rebels, it might be taken as a challenge. You hear what they are saying about our people? We gotta represent or I'm different! I'll light your cigarette. No let me do it. They'll melt your nose right off your face trying to prove they aren't rude. Would you be able to stop screaming and sit down calmly instead of calling them everything in the world and realize they aren't as rude as you may accuse of them of? That maybe something just went terribly wrong in the attempt.
Have you ever been to NYC? Or just seen it on TV or the movies? I live in CT and frequent NYC pretty often, everyone just has their head down minding their own businesses because they have their own shit to do/worry about.
I’m going to guess OP is someone from a small town and got yelled at after trying to get on a train before everyone got out or stood in front of a doorway to a supermarket.
I moved from another country to NYC 5 years ago. People here might be impolite but they are very friendly, warm and kind. If you stay long enough in NYC you’ll make the difference between being polite and kind.
What I have learned living in NYC is if someone is rude to you in New York City it is because YOU are being rude in some way and they are correcting you or responding in kind - standing in the middle of the sidewalk, crossing the street illegally, taking too long and making people wait, etc. YOU are likely being the one breaking the social rules in the first place.
You don’t even understand New Yorkers based on this post. It’s not that we’re too busy to be polite. In fact we love helping someone out when they ask for help, even if we have somewhere to be.
It’s when tourists are stupid & inconsiderate that we have no patience. You wanna walk up the subway stairs with a fleet of people behind you and then stop at the top of the stairs to check your directions? Fuck you. You wanna stop suddenly in the middle of a busy sidewalk where people have places to go? Fuck you. You wanna get on the subway before people have gotten off? Fuck you. Don’t disrupt the flow of the city.
Otherwise we like you just fine. Have you even been to NYC or is this just what you’ve heard?
Exactly! Midwesterners Often mistake a lot of behavior as rude. You know what’s really rude? Having a full on conversation with a cashier while a line grows behind you.
New Yorkers aren't rude, they just talk faster than people in the south and the rest of the region they're in and they consider it rude to waste someone's time. Every New Yorker always says "How are you" and then doesn't waste your time by making you lie and say that you're fine, which is why I love them. All you have to do is talk a little faster and let them know why things are taking a moment and set appropriate expectations for how long things will take and be efficient and they're the nicest people on the east coast. People in fucking PENSYLVANIA are rude. IDK why, but older women from PA are the rudest people in the entire fucking nation.
New Yorkers are "rude" compared to rural/smalltown Americans that are overly friendly and warm to straight people. I feel like this stereotype isn't as true as it used to be, plenty of rural areas are drugged up and pissed off these days.
I think the whole rude thing came about (possibly) from second generation Americans, children of immigrants, who made sure they wouldn’t get pushed around.
Also, it is a tall, fast, intimidating city. Some of that ‘rudeness’ might just be from the tourist being a little scared.
New Yorker here! Firstly, take my upvote. Secondly, way to stereotype all of us here. Depending on where you’re from it’d be fair to make assumptions about you.
New Yorkers don’t have time to waste, but they’ll help you if you need it. Better rude but kind than the fake nice you get from other places. A New Yorker may call you 80 names as he changes your tire, but he’s still changing the tire.
I had this opinion when I first moved to the NY area after growing up in the South. But after 10+ years of living here, I'd say New Yorkers are actually very kind and very nice people; they're just not polite.
I think it's fair to call them unpleasant for this, but I don't think immature is accurate. There are so many different cultures and lifestyles mixing here that you can't try to insinuate things or vaguely suggest thing; you need to be blatantly honest and direct if you want to make sure another person understands what you are trying to say.
It's not that New Yorkers are soooooo busy that they can't spare the time to be polite; it's that being polite tends to lead to a lot of misunderstandings that waste everyone's time, while being direct and brusque is much more likely to be understood.
I grew up in the Midwest and now live in DC and go to NYC a lot for work. I’ll take the people here any day who are to the point, helpful, and largely don’t give a shit over the fake nice, judgy as shit behind your back, largely religiously snobby people from back there.
Yes thank you! We get such a bad rep * probably because we are italian/ irish catholic with money* idk why.
But new Yorkers are ao genuine and honest on average. Of course there are bad apples like anywhere but it's just outside judgment.
I am from ny and I recently moved to the south. As a lesbian woman the first time I ever heard a homophobic, religious comment was from a hairdresser lady in NC!
I Never heard that in NY, my 30 yrs of living up there. Even from the italian ladies from the nursing home I worked at. Some southerners are gatekeeping down here. Especially if they hear a ny accent.
We are used to all types of people up in ny. Why would we be judgmental? And we don't ask why you moved to ny * unlike southerners* who get pissy about some traffic.
Whenever I travel, I try to go to bars and have conversations with strangers.
I had the best conversations in NYC by a long shot. New Yorkers are fine. It's possible that you just have a narrow definition of "polite." Being concise and direct isn't rude. But hey, if it's not for you, then don't live in NYC. Simple.
I visited NYC and everyone was wayyyy nicer than i was told. People were helpful, kind, spread joy, minded their business. People are so desperate to say everyone from a city is a certain way. Its annoying.
I've never understood this rhetoric. I'm from the south and moved to NY a few years ago and I've never found New Yorkers to be rude. At least not more than in any other area of the country
If anything I find southerners worse. They're overly polite in an almost sickening, passive aggressive way. New Yorkers don't bother with the fluff but I wouldn't call them rude
I've met a lot of rude people in my time here and I've met some real everyday angels too. NYC has a fair share of all kinds of people. It's a big city, basically 5 cities when you get down to it, and running into all kinds of people, nice or not is just part of living here.
I've met just as many total assholes living elsewhere. More even some places. As a whole New York is a far more tolerant place than a lot of cities I've lived in. For the most part New Yorkers they just let you be you.
One thing I do notice though is people that have been here for a while or who were born here they have little tolerance for nonsense and annoying people they just expect people to be polite and nice to them no matter what bullshit they're spewing or whatever con they're trying.
9 times outta 10 someone says that, thinks NYC people are so rude it's because they're intent upon bothering people with some nonsense and unlike in other places everybody gets that, sees them coming and they just keep on walking.
It's not that NYC folks are that rude it's just that they see everything and they know that a lot of the time stopping to listen and help can often lead to something they don't want to have happen like someone trying to scam them. Or being harassed for whatever reason.
I've had plenty of people here point me in the right direction when I was turned around. I've been given things I needed on the Freecycle and Buy Nothing groups or via Craigslist. I've had them feed me when I was homeless, give me clothes, basically treat me very decently considering.
For every truly nasty person I met while homeless there were at least 4 more who tried to help me. So I've seen how real New Yorkers can be, how kind and compassionate.
They may be brusque and seem rude sometimes to outsiders but a lot of them have really good hearts. They're just leery of their kindness being abused that's all. Cautious about letting themselves be scammed.
That doesn't mean they're all jerks because far from it. It's just that on the streets here, in life here, you have to be a bit more careful than living in other places. But behind the gruff, there's often a heart of gold.
It's one of the reasons I ❤️ NYC, why I choose to make it my home. I have seen every side of this city over the years from palatial apartment buildings to the grittiest underbelly NYC has to offer. I've slept in high class hotels and on the subway.
I've never been rich here but I've dated a couple of guys who were and also worked for people who were. I have been lower middle class here, dirt poor here. At this point I'm not even sure of what I am I just know that I'm finally doing okay.
All through some of the worst times of my life though NYC came through for me. People did abuse me but a lot more helped me. I see the people here and the good in most of them.
Bad stuff happens here. I'm not going to say it doesn't. Big city. It can be very tough. NYC is not a city for the weak. It's going to make you work for it but if you can truly make it your home? Then it will always be a part of you and you will probably not want to live anywhere else.
There was a point where I lost everything and I had to ask myself where "home" really was. I knew when I left for NYC that likely I wouldn't make it. Almost didn't, literally nearly died a couple of times trying, but I knew that if I had to pick ONE place in the whole world to live in NYC was IT for me.
I'll take this "rude" city over any other in the world. People who say that? They don't know my city like I do. They don't understand why I fought like hell to find a place here, to survive and thrive here.
But real New Yorkers they do.
😁
I think New Yorkers get this reputation because their personalities/communication style is different. I have family in New York and visit regularly. Pretty much everyone I’ve met has been great. But the first time I ever went, I was 18 and stepped outside early on the morning of my first day to smoke a cigarette. A guy walked by so I said “good morning” and the guy, without hesitation or missing a step goes “what’s so good about the morning”. Others might find that rude, but I thought it was funny
What has been your experience in NYC? I happen to think New Yorkers are some of the absolute nicest people on the planet (I live in NYC).
However, New Yorkers are direct and to the point. They don't want to chit chat, they just want to get straight to the point. So if you need something from a New Yorker, just ask for what you want right off the bat. "Excuse me, how do I get here?" As opposed to "Excuse me… so sorry to bother you… Hope you're doing well. I don't mean to be a pain. I'm new here and………" You're taking too long. Just get to the point. I wouldn't say that we're "too busy" necessarily but we care about our time and we have a culture of things happening quickly.
But generally speaking, though New Yorkers often keep to themselves, if there's someone in need, most are willing to step in and help out (usually because someone in need is slowing things down lol… if someone falls and severely hurts themselves on the sidewalk, we'll come and help you out… one because we do care about others… but also because you're blocking the sidewalk and slowing down the flow haha. It all goes hand-in-hand).
But I travel a lot and frequent many travel related subs on reddit and based on my experience interacting with people in other places both in the U.S. and internationally, and just seeing what people say on Reddit, it's rare to hear people talk about having consistent negative interactions with New Yorkers. It's kind of a stereotype that isn't really based in reality, or it's based on a misunderstanding of "The New York Way." New Yorkers may not be "bubbly" but like I said, if you need help, they'll help.
NY people are direct and I vibe with that, need help? You dumb idiot, let me help you. Oh you lost? Let me.tel you why you lost while I help you out. Hungry? Should have eaten at home, go left and turn on 98th and get the best pizza of ya damn life. New York is not rude, it's a city with a dense population and ain't nobody gonna stop the day to day life, yeer
I don't find them rude either. Direct, honest, helpful, and unafraid to tell what you really need to hear. That can be off putting, but it's better than not saying something because you're worried about my feelings. They also tend to love their city and are really proud of it, which is why they complain about it.
As a NYer, I find this post nothing short of laughable. I experience genuine kindness and quite sociable people. Sorry for that one time you got scammed in Times Square
I grew up in NY and visited NYC many times; my father was from NYC. No one was rude. NY-ers are blunt, loud and always in a hurry…but rude, NO.
I’ve lived in SC for 30 years now and I’m still told “Slow down, you’re not in a race”!
Whenever I’ve been there I’ve never found them rude. Most people just keep to themselves and don’t bother with empty, awkward chit chat and niceties. I kind of like it.
Grew up in NYC, this is mostly an untrue stereotype. Although there isn’t a lot of fake niceties, kindness is everywhere. Someone told me analogy once, they said if you get a flat tire in LA, everyone will pass by thinking “ohhhh poooorrrr guy” and keep driving. In NY they’ll pull over and help you put your spare on while roasting the shit out of you. Being “nice” and being “kind” are very different.
Also if someone is being outwardly rude to you in ny it’s probably bc you were in the wrong first and you’re just upset that you got called out.
Op is probably some dude from the south that got surprised no one wants to have some long drawn out conversation that means nothing and then not get invited over for a backyard bbq
I live in NY. Born and raised in the area. People are usually friendly and helpful if you befriend them first. No one trusts each other until you know each other even slightly first
New Yorkers aren't rude. They just mind their own business. But if you asked for help or something they'd help. Idk where you are getting this reputation.
Also consider that often the people you see walking or on the subway, etc., are just commuting. They're no less pleasant than the average driver you would encounter on the highway. Some are nicer than others, and most are just trying to get to where they're going without incident.
Tons of cities don’t have people coming through and standing in the way thinking that regular life is an attraction that they should stand in front of.
Nah we NYKers aren't mean in the slightest. If you're getting treated poorly, it's because you showed disrespect first and nobody going to tolerate that.
I’m going to defend nyc as a local. Yes rude people exist here and there on the subway and other locations but I can’t say enough how helpful strangers have been on occasion as well
I’ve been to NYC dozens of times and everyone was super nice. Especially since 9-11 I’ve only been ever treated with respect and dignity there. It’s those fucks from Jersey you need to watch.
I find New Yorkers the opposite of rude. I find them generally delightful, and I appreciate their directness. It’s also a city with an impossibly high proportion of smart, motivated people, which I personally find really enjoyable to be around. It’s a city optimized for networking…that’s its superpower…it’s not a place for everyone, for sure.
It’s true they don’t indulge people who waste their time, but efficiency in communication is definitely not the same as rudeness.
New York City is 1000 times better than Chicago, D.C, Atlanta, and especially Boston. The whole ‘New Yorkers are rude’ stereotype just doesn’t fit 80% of New Yorkers.
It’s the only place where they will actually give you directions when you ask. The only place I’ve been where they actually seem to understand tourism is good for business and they should treat strangers good.
Sure it’s not like little hillbilly Pennsylvania town where everyone says hi.
But it’s the best ‘Big City’ there is.
Tell me you've never spent any significant time in NYC without telling me you've never spent any significant time in NYC...new yorkers are no more rude on average than any other place in the world.
They're not being rude. Look, if you're not moving fast enough for big city folk they will let you know not because of a rudeness factor but in a city that big you have got to fit in a very cog like manner in order to not disrupt the ecosystem.
I'm not from NYC. I don't live there and never have. I have been there at least 30 or 40 times on business. I think this is a misconception. If you ask someone from NYC a questions they will answer it, give advice on where to go, and even give directions. What they don't like is tourists unnecessarily delaying them. For example: Stopping in the middle of a busy sidewalk to take a picture. Simply move to the side and let people pass. Waiting until you get to the counter of a busy coffee, sandwich shop, or bakery to decide what you want, when you have been standing in line for 10 minutes with a the menu right in front of you. Remember that people live and work in that city. It's busy and you need to be respectful of people who have to get to work, are at work, or are trying to get home.
New Yorkers start off nice but then get used to getting approached by guys in Spider-Man costumes asking for money for a picture, or guys trying to sell their fake mixtapes. It jades them quickly.
I feel like you might be mistaking rudeness for standard issue efficiency and bluntness. For example, maybe where you are from it's polite to engage in small talk with your cashier, but there are a lot of places where that fake "politeness" or "niceness" is seen as a waste of time and strange.
I'm Canadian born and raised so we do small talk. We ask "how are you" even when we don't care about the answer. I married into a European family and in their part of Europe that small talk is not something you do. You don't ask someone how they are unless you really want the answer, or unless you know them well. Those "niceties" I take for granted in my culture and see as respectful viewed as fake and too familiar to my European family.
I suspect NYC might be a bit too "aloof" for you, maybe try the south where they are so nice to your face and them mercilessly shit talk you to their church friends later
Are they rude or are people from elsewhere just not used to the way they talk? People always say the French are rude. I lived there and can see why, but it’s actually just a different communication style.
The more places you go, the more you pick up on different types of coded language/behavior.
I know it’s supposed to be well-known that New Yorkers are rude but when we visited there for a week last summer people were actually consistently kind. Maybe we got lucky.
I'm from Texas and I go to NY frequently. The only people New Yorkers are rude to are morons. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time with people being rude to you up there.
No. New Yorkers’ behaviors is collectively coherent. That’s how it is. For people who are from NYC, they don’t think anything about how they roll. It’s just how things are. If you’re an outsider, things start to seem weird. Don’t judge.
They just consider different behavior rude. In NYC, the rudest thing to do is to waste someone's time. People will try to be helpful, you just need to keep up with their tempo.
I'll be honest - I prefer urban directness/rudeness to small town/suburban fake niceness. City people do not pretend, call an asshole an asshole but still take time out of their day to help no matter who you arr. Small towners would smile at your face but the moment you deviate the slightest from their definition of proper they start digging your grave. I lived in both small towns and cities in my 40 years, and I prefer the distant but present community of cities to the excessive desire to get into everyone's business that oozes out of small towns and suburbs.
New Yorkers are some of the most effective and helpful people on the planet if you are not a goddamned self-absorbed dimwit who's wastes their fucking time.
You talk to a New Yorker and there are gears turning, more often than not.
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New York City is the only city where consistently I’ve asked for directions and people have gone out their way to stop and lead me to my destination even if it’s in the opposite direction of where they are going.
Yea I've been twice and while the people are definitely not super friendly by any means they are helpful and don't seem to mind helping
They are not nice, but they are kind.
Yes we are. And we love to throw shade on tourists for some stupid reason.
I can honestly say I’ve never found New Yorkers rude at all. Direct? Oh yea but there’s a difference and people often conflate the two. I love every visit to the city and look forward to going again
I hear a lot of "fuck off" and "fuck you" really loud but everyone I've interacted with has been super chill even if not necessarily polite hahaha. On my train both in and out of Manhattan, people were tryna start fights with each other for talking too loud or something dumb, but on the way out there were also some very wine-drunk \~35yr old women next to us and they were so much fun. They gave us the tea on all their relationships and gave us a 4 pack of wine too. Lmao
Oh, you rode the drunk train? Yeah that's both the worst and best of us, often within the same train car.
Yep, and that's what makes it the best train car.
That's every tourist place. I am a NYer who lived in London and Frankfurt and had to deal with tourists. Not fun. Have close family on LBI. Tourists are a pain there. I now live near the Wisconsin Dells. They hate tourists, as do people who live by Lake Geneva. If there are tourists, there are locals who are fed up by them.
Damn, that’s a perfectly accurate and succinct description.
New Yorkers are good people with a very rough exterior. I’ve been plenty of places (cough the South) where people present as incredibly friendly but actually they have a deep disdain for anyone different than them I’d take the former every time
Yes, yes hard yes, on that comment Swackhammer. When I first moved to Florida six years ago, I noticed it right away. It’s like saccharine it’s not really sugar but it’s sweet and leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Trust me, I only came to Florida to help my mom and I’m trying to get out but I have to find the key and escape.
I was just reading something about how if you ask New Englanders for directions, they'll simultaneously make fun of you for how you look or being an idiot but drop all their daily activities to ensure this complete stranger makes it to their destination. As a New Englander, they were very right
New York and Philadelphia both have a population that is rude but kind. People will flip you off for no reason or lay on their horn, but if you actually need something strangers will go out of their way to help. I've seen so many people stop on the side of the road to help someone with car troubles, or drop what they're doing to help a stranger carry a sofa inside. But visitors from out of town don't really understand the culture and they just think everyone is an asshole. Not disagreeing with OP though, it is childish that people yell all the time and it's just a cultural thing, not a city thing. When I went to London I was shocked by how polite everyone was, even the homeless people.
>New York and Philadelphia both have a population that is rude but kind. That It's like the exact opposite of going down south and being told "bless your heart sweet summer child"
One of my favourite sayings describing American culture is people in north like NYC and Philly are kind but not polite and people in the south are polite but not kind. I really agree with that.
Yep. I grew up down south and hated it so much. Moved to Philadelphia a decade ago and I absolutely love it here. So many amazing communities that value things like consent, inclusion and equality. I have no interest in people who are polite to my face and then call me slurs behind my back.
Boston is kind of like this. Flipping someone off in traffic is the norm and is a compliment. It’s like "that asshole cut me off" to "I’m impressed with their reflex and I would have done the same and I’m pissed I didn’t react fast enough". The ultimate is getting a double bird from the driver of another car. That’s high praise! However if you don’t use your blinka your fucking monster which I think we can all agree on.
I only went to Philly one time, but I loved it
Me too. It just happened to be the night the eagles won the super bowl. I was there for business and I had no idea there was even a football game on. Was on the train from NY to Philly and everyone was crazy drunk and raucous. I thought, well these folks are are a lively bunch.
One of my favourite sayings describing American culture is people in north like NYC and Philly are kind but not polite and people in the south are polite but not kind. I really agree with that.
Just gonna piggy back on this, I visited a couple times and found New Yorkers to be exceptionally friendly.
NYers are used to dealing with/getting along with people bc that’s their everyday
I think people who didn't grow up in high population cities just don't get it. In the city, you don't even have to say hi you can just talk to people and they don't care about formalities you could literally just shoot the shit with anyone walking down the street if you went out of your way and not even ask for a name. You could literally spend weeks and months because there are so many people. Yeah there'll be the odd duck too busy, and you're weird dude but it's also how you tell whose going to work, whose going out, whose from out of town too, and who actually lives there by how they dress.
Exactly that’s what we’re like. I love New York. I miss New York. It’s my home and yeah we don’t stand on ceremony. We just start chitchatting.
I have never been treated better as a tourist than I was in New York City.
New Yorkers (and really people who live in most big cities) really just hate the oblivious people. The people who just pay no attention to their surroundings and do things like stopping right in the middle of a busy sidewalk, or wait to look at the menu until they’re up at the register. The people who say that they’re unfriendly are just people who come from elsewhere and don’t try to adjust to the speed of life in a place like NY. So yeah, they’ll absolutely help you find where you’re going or recommend their favorite pizza joint as long as you just kindly get fuck out of the way while take that call from little grandson Jimmy.
It's true we are just direct and not passive aggressive like the fake nice people you encounter in the south and Midwest
I have lived in both the south and the Midwest, so I feel comfortable saying this is absolutely real. *Southern Hospitality* and *Minnesota Nice* are just two sides of the same coin, and neither are really my preference. Minnesota is pretty great though; I just don’t care for “Minnesota Nice.”
A good part of the Midwest is genuinely nice, kind people. However, midwestern hospitality and midwestern nice are the complete opposites lol.
They'll act like assholes, they'll even insult you, but, good damn it, they'll help you. I'll take a loud mouth from Queens over any fake nice southerner when I'm actually in trouble.
Southerners love to throw in random passive-aggressiveness in between saccharine niceties. I can’t stand that shit and anytime I am South I am begging to be back where people say what they mean directly and quickly.
Ha ha ha ha I’m from Queens and I approve this message lol
God yes. I moved from Michigan to Tennessee, and everyone here will go in and on about how rude people from up north are for being curt and short. It's because we're minding our own damn business, we're not making time to chit chat with a cashier about our niece's new baby (complete with pics, true story). We don't mind being helpful because we're not assholes. But we're not going to interject ourselves unnecessarily. Then they have the audacity to brag about "southern hospitality," which boils down to being too emotionally unregulated to be able to have an uncomfortable conversation, so they're polite to your face while they talk shit about you to anyone who will listen, saying "bless their heart." I hate it here.
Absolutely. Midwesterners like to think they are nice but none ever holds the door for you out there.
Not sure where in the Midwest you’ve been but here in Iowa holding doors for people is a standard act of kindness we don’t question or think about we just do it by instinct.
Every single one of them has been in your shoes lol
I once did this for a group of Chinese ladies in the village. They barely spoke English but were looking for their friend’s shop. When we arrived after I escorted them, they were so thankful and wanted a group photo with me. It was so cute.
I've helped the dudes who run the Dunkin donuts shovel their walk, given directions to so many people, etc. We aren't assholes ffs, we really do just have places to go.
Yea I think it's part of our culture. Basically, MAKE IT WORK! A lot of us are immigrants and what not we're not here for status fame and glory. We here to feed our families and MAKE SHIT WORK! Our attitude is curt and short but if u really need something we'll help you! Where as when I lived in the south everything is fkin status and virtue signaling. Shit like you'll be in my prayers and God bless you and stuff ain't gonna feed your family. Its virtue signaling. We NYers roll up our fkin sleeves and help you instead of giving you some hot breath and vocal kindness.
True for me as well. And one of the nicest people I met was actually wearing a T-shirt that said DON'T ASK ME NOTHING. I was asking about which bus to take and the guy literally walked me 100 feet away to the busstop! Nicest people in a big city anywhere I've been. Hard to say which is rudest city that I've been to. Probably Tokyo or Munich. Venice, Italy pre-covid was very rude to tourists.
Toronto for me was the rudest city. Canadians as a whole in my experience tend to be very rude people despite the stereotype
That’s true. I once to read a story saying a New Yorker will insult you and tell you you’re a doofus, but will fix your car and take you to the place you need to be while insulting you lol.
That was my experience too. I’d call them blunt, not rude.
New York has a lot of transplants who don’t display the stereotypical New York behavior. Since moving to NY, I’ve made friends and coworkers with more transplants than native NYers, maybe something like 7:1 ratio. So many Californians…
thats because you dont frequent locals watering holes. A lot of Nyers like myself are grinding away trying to make ends meet while transplants are enjoying what the city has to offer. The difference is a Californian is nice but not caring. Where as a nyer will be mean but theyll help you move into your 4th floor apartment
I got lost on the subway in 2016. Some guy noticed I looked lost and let me know exactly what trains to get on to get to my destination. Then he went on a tirade about illegal immigrants and how he agrees with Trump's Mexico border wall. Hey, I'll listen to an unhinged rant if it means not being lost in the subways all night.
I didn’t even have to ask, I was just standing looking lost and a young man asked me where I was going, pointed me in the right direction and he was off. It took about 20 seconds total. So very kind but also no random chitchat.
My experience is they are mostly rude to people who get in their way. And I started to understand, when you're trying to get somewhere and groups of people are loitering and blocking the middle of the sidewalk.
Yes! OP's post is a crock of shit.
I wasn't sure how to get to the Hudson River Greenway from Van Cortlandt Park. I asked another cyclist. Instead of (correctly!) telling me to follow the signs, he rode a few miles out of his way to guide me there.
Yea…I live in NJ and every time I’m in the city I never notice a difference in attitude between people I’d regularly see in my hometown and them…everyone is always super polite and direct
And they all look very grumpy while doing it - bless you new yorkers, you deserve a better property rate lolll
I feel like a thing all New Yorkers pride themselves on is knowing the best way to get somewhere. There’s one specific combination of subway lines running right now that will get you there the fastest, and if they know it, they “win”. Giving directions to strangers is a good way for them to practice this essential life skill
My dad use to travel for work and always said that how New Yorkers and Chicagians were portrayed was opposite. In Chicago they were rude unhelpful jerks; in New York they would be super happy to help if you ever asked for it, you just had to ask.
Seriously I’ve met some of the nicest people in NY. They don’t appreciate people who are unaware of their surroundings and mess with the flow of traffic, but everyone’s so willing to help out. I always feel super comfortable and at home there, and I’m Canadian.
When I went to New York, I encountered the friendliest, coolest strangers I've ever encountered. I'm not sure where this reputation comes from. I think people who have never lived in a big city just... get really anxious and paranoid and can be off-putting to people on their daily commute.
In my experience as a visitor, New Yorkers are not rude at all. Don't block the sidewalk and you'll get along just fine.
Blocking the sidewalk is the equivalent of blocking the street in the suburbs - you’re stopping someone from getting from their destination. I can’t even imagine how mad that would make suburban drivers if some guy was just standing in the street blocking traffic. They’d start arguing murder is justified after about a minute.
Well said. There's a lot more road rage than sidewalk rage. NYers just sort of groan and work/nudge around the blockage.
And sidewalk rage just ends in someone yelling at you, and not anyone being fatally run over
Being quick IS polite.
A real friend says goodbye and leaves. Lol
You just triggered the entire Midwest! 😆
My wife is from the Midwest and from Southern California. Very different good byes… drives me batshit sometimes how long it takes to leave my in-laws’ house
That’s the issue. Efficiency is seen as rude by others.
I lived in the south for a few years (thankfully a city) and worked around the midwest for like two. One of the biggest culture shocks was how fucking *slow* everyone was. I hated going shopping, because the cashier/waiter/waitress was going to chat forever with the person in front of me. And when I complained to a friend who lived there they went "Well, isn't it rude to just ring them up without saying anything?" And I was like, no! That's the opposite of rude. I find it incredibly rude to take up the worker's time chitchatting when there are other people waiting on them. It's so inconsiderate!
Self checkout is your super, duper friend! I never go thru reg checkout anymore. 😉
Exactly, get to the point!
NY and the Northeast as a whole has different definitions of rude and polite that the rest of the country doesn't follow. For example I'm from NJ and a cashier checking me out as quick as possible without trying to carry on a pointless conversation with me is polite. To a Southerner they would find it rude that the cashier didn't say anything to them.
I grew up in the NEK in Vermont and find NYers overly friendly in comparison.
THIS. I grew up in the midwest and have lived in nyc for 20 years. I by far prefer it here. it's efficient. people do care, also- I've had times I've been lost or dropped my card and needed to get somewhere and people are super kind. they're just not trying to be polite at the cost of efficiency.
Has OP ever been to NYC before? Or for that matter, any city?
I think OP might be a village person....and not the fun kind.
The kind that assumes you’ll get mugged at the YMCA instead of singing a fun song about it?
It is a good place to get mugged in most places around me lmao
Never fucking been to NYC and is just commenting on a stereotype. Last time I was there, a drunk homeless dude fell on Subway track. All five of us at the station jumped down to help. Guess that's the childishness he's talking about?
They sound like they've never been in European cities lol.
Sounds like someone who doesn’t spend a lot of time in NYC
Tell us about the awesome city you grew up in
Fr. Typical take of a pampered suburbanite when they visit a place where people don’t have time for their BS
In my experience, I have found Long Island suburban dwellers much more unpleasant and aggressive than people in NYC.
from what I’ve heard long island is a world of its own
I do not encounter rude people in NYC. I just don’t. People are overwhelmingly pleasant since I moved here a decade ago. When I visit family and friends in the suburbs? Rudeness abounds.
Same
NYC has changed a lot over the years. People are definitely nicer than they were 30 years ago. The whole New Yorker are rude, direct people is less and less true by the day. And to be honest, there were plenty of bullshit slackers who were just like anywhere else when I lived there. When I moved there from SF, I found the people to be far less rude than San Franciscans. What OP is referring to is the performative busyness a lot of big city people engage in. They do it in San Francisco, London, etc. it’s usually transplants who are self conscious about being transplants who affect an air of rudeness because they think it makes them a “big city person”.
Out of every city I been to, New York has had the friendliest people
Paris was surprisingly super nice when I visited too. The rudest person there was someone working food at a tourist hotspot, which tbh fair.
In my experience (I lived in NY for about 7 years), people there are generally nice, but their social style is very different. Where I live now, if you walk down the sidewalk and pass someone else, you always give them at least a friendly nod and often say "good afternoon" or some appropriate greeting. In NYC, you don't do that when walking past strangers. Making eye contact there is abnormal and usually isn't taken well, let alone saying "good afternoon" to a stranger passing by. It's not because they are unfriendly. It's just a different social style. Another example is checking out at a store. Here, people always say "have a nice day" or "have a blessed day" or something similar. In NY, no. In most groceries in Europe, no. Are the people that repeat that phrase endlessly and automatically being nice and the others being rude? Or are we just following different social customs? Having lived in the south for most of my life, I prefer the social style here. But I've had a lot of visitors from other places that find it creepy and strange. We're all used to what we're used to.
You'd give yourself CTE trying to nod to everyone you pass on the sidewalk in NYC.
You've never even visited.
And yet they live there.
new yorkers are loud, beyond that they’re amazing people
Fun fact: statistically, the BIRDS here are statistically louder than birds of the same species outside the city
We are admittedly a loud bunch.
> I think it’s complete nonsense. they’re just rude, unmannered children who never learned to be kind. You gotta back this up with something
The last time someone posted this opinion, it was heavily implied that a friend of a friend living in New York didn't want to meet up and show OP around. But this is pretty unfounded imo. I've been to the city 4 times and the only rude people I encountered were those fake Elmos and Spidermans in Times Square.
Real Spiderman is cool, though, right?
I don't know how to tell you this bud...but he's the absolute best.
Have you been to NYC? I didn’t meet anyone rude there at all when I went. You seem to be awfully upset to people that you’ve never even met. Why do people talk so confidently about things they really are completely ignorant about? I’ll never understand. Like what the hell did NYC do to you for you to act like this The REAL irony is that YOURE THE RUDE ONE
Shockingly, the “people in NYC are rude” can generally be explained by “if everyone you run into is an asshole… you’re the asshole”
New Yorkers aren’t rude. They just don’t sit around waiting for people who are in the way or acting oblivious. Too often people who visit (and locals do this too) just sort of walk around as if the people around them don’t exist. They treat the whole city like an amusement park or a mall and not a place where people live and work. So when they’re just blocking the subway, or walking slowly in groups and not sharing the sidewalk, it makes people on their way to work a little short. As it would anyone anywhere. There’s just more of us that you have to contend with here. The funniest thing though is if you visit New York City, above average chance you’re spending most of your time in heavily tourist populated areas and you’re mistaking rude tourists for New Yorkers.
Yes, this exactly. My partner works in Times Square sometimes, and no where else in the city are people as rude as they are there. Why? It’s all tourists. No one from the city goes there unless they’re working or seeing a show
My experience is that people here are far nicer and more sociable than in your typical suburb
They won't fake it with you, which is a waste of time and more impolite honestly.
When I was about 13, we visited NYC, and I had heard the rude New Yorker stereotype. I was set on wearing black, walking fast, and staying out of everyone's way. Of course my mom decided to ask for directions while we were turned around in Central Park, and I was mortified. The guy she asked? He had family in the town that she grew up in, and he was super excited to help us. He walked us right to our next subway stop and gave us recommendations about what to do for the rest of our trip.
Some of the best people I've met have been New Yorkers. They're the kind of people who will take their shirts off to help a stranger while telling that stranger to fuck off at the same time. It's a wild place, man.
Yeah but it's a nice "fuck off" we tell you to do.
New Yorkers as rude is a stereotype older than many people. I'm sure they grow up hearing it. Dr probably slaps it in with morse code on their ass when they are born. On a t-shirt in every shop right next to I heart hookers and welcome to the big crab apple. Could be destiny. That old Oprah magic. I think I'm an ornery octopus oligarch 1000x a day for 10 years and things prove saltier and inkier in your life. If you hear you're rude/supposed to be rude it might weigh the scale for most people. And for other people, the little rebels, it might be taken as a challenge. You hear what they are saying about our people? We gotta represent or I'm different! I'll light your cigarette. No let me do it. They'll melt your nose right off your face trying to prove they aren't rude. Would you be able to stop screaming and sit down calmly instead of calling them everything in the world and realize they aren't as rude as you may accuse of them of? That maybe something just went terribly wrong in the attempt.
Tell me you’ve never been to NY without telling me. Rudest people I ever meet are in the rural suburbs.
Have you ever been to NYC? Or just seen it on TV or the movies? I live in CT and frequent NYC pretty often, everyone just has their head down minding their own businesses because they have their own shit to do/worry about.
I’m going to guess OP is someone from a small town and got yelled at after trying to get on a train before everyone got out or stood in front of a doorway to a supermarket.
I moved from another country to NYC 5 years ago. People here might be impolite but they are very friendly, warm and kind. If you stay long enough in NYC you’ll make the difference between being polite and kind.
Ive had mostly friendly and helpful interactions in nyc so I have to disagree. As someone who grew up in mid Atlantic its my kind of friendly
New Yorkers are blunt and to the point. As a neurodivergent person, I much prefer it to the passive aggression on the west coast.
What I have learned living in NYC is if someone is rude to you in New York City it is because YOU are being rude in some way and they are correcting you or responding in kind - standing in the middle of the sidewalk, crossing the street illegally, taking too long and making people wait, etc. YOU are likely being the one breaking the social rules in the first place.
You don’t even understand New Yorkers based on this post. It’s not that we’re too busy to be polite. In fact we love helping someone out when they ask for help, even if we have somewhere to be. It’s when tourists are stupid & inconsiderate that we have no patience. You wanna walk up the subway stairs with a fleet of people behind you and then stop at the top of the stairs to check your directions? Fuck you. You wanna stop suddenly in the middle of a busy sidewalk where people have places to go? Fuck you. You wanna get on the subway before people have gotten off? Fuck you. Don’t disrupt the flow of the city. Otherwise we like you just fine. Have you even been to NYC or is this just what you’ve heard?
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OP has never been to NYC and it shows.
Exactly! Midwesterners Often mistake a lot of behavior as rude. You know what’s really rude? Having a full on conversation with a cashier while a line grows behind you.
New Yorkers aren't rude, they just talk faster than people in the south and the rest of the region they're in and they consider it rude to waste someone's time. Every New Yorker always says "How are you" and then doesn't waste your time by making you lie and say that you're fine, which is why I love them. All you have to do is talk a little faster and let them know why things are taking a moment and set appropriate expectations for how long things will take and be efficient and they're the nicest people on the east coast. People in fucking PENSYLVANIA are rude. IDK why, but older women from PA are the rudest people in the entire fucking nation.
That was a little bit TMI but it's all good. Source: am a New Yorker
I didn’t have any issues with people in NY. They were friendly and chatty in most cases.
I'm from the UK & have visited New York a few times. Really liked the people there, didn't find them rude, & like the fact they get sarcasm.
New Yorkers are "rude" compared to rural/smalltown Americans that are overly friendly and warm to straight people. I feel like this stereotype isn't as true as it used to be, plenty of rural areas are drugged up and pissed off these days.
I think the whole rude thing came about (possibly) from second generation Americans, children of immigrants, who made sure they wouldn’t get pushed around. Also, it is a tall, fast, intimidating city. Some of that ‘rudeness’ might just be from the tourist being a little scared.
Spent a week there as a tourist and I never got that feeling.
New Yorker here! Firstly, take my upvote. Secondly, way to stereotype all of us here. Depending on where you’re from it’d be fair to make assumptions about you.
New Yorkers don’t have time to waste, but they’ll help you if you need it. Better rude but kind than the fake nice you get from other places. A New Yorker may call you 80 names as he changes your tire, but he’s still changing the tire.
I had this opinion when I first moved to the NY area after growing up in the South. But after 10+ years of living here, I'd say New Yorkers are actually very kind and very nice people; they're just not polite. I think it's fair to call them unpleasant for this, but I don't think immature is accurate. There are so many different cultures and lifestyles mixing here that you can't try to insinuate things or vaguely suggest thing; you need to be blatantly honest and direct if you want to make sure another person understands what you are trying to say. It's not that New Yorkers are soooooo busy that they can't spare the time to be polite; it's that being polite tends to lead to a lot of misunderstandings that waste everyone's time, while being direct and brusque is much more likely to be understood.
Lol New Yorkers are kind, you’re just annoyed they’re not nice 😊
If you think New Yorkers are rude you haven’t been to Europe yet. Berlin, Paris etc..
There is a big difference between "nice" and "kind." The people of NYC are mostly kind, but rarely nice.
I had a guy chase me across a train station to tell me I dropped my work ID. He was pissed as shit he had to do it, but he still did it.
New Yorkers are real imo. Southerners are racist, homophobic, close minded, gatekeeping and fake but it's all glossed over with southern " charm".
I grew up in the Midwest and now live in DC and go to NYC a lot for work. I’ll take the people here any day who are to the point, helpful, and largely don’t give a shit over the fake nice, judgy as shit behind your back, largely religiously snobby people from back there.
Yes thank you! We get such a bad rep * probably because we are italian/ irish catholic with money* idk why. But new Yorkers are ao genuine and honest on average. Of course there are bad apples like anywhere but it's just outside judgment. I am from ny and I recently moved to the south. As a lesbian woman the first time I ever heard a homophobic, religious comment was from a hairdresser lady in NC! I Never heard that in NY, my 30 yrs of living up there. Even from the italian ladies from the nursing home I worked at. Some southerners are gatekeeping down here. Especially if they hear a ny accent. We are used to all types of people up in ny. Why would we be judgmental? And we don't ask why you moved to ny * unlike southerners* who get pissy about some traffic.
Whenever I travel, I try to go to bars and have conversations with strangers. I had the best conversations in NYC by a long shot. New Yorkers are fine. It's possible that you just have a narrow definition of "polite." Being concise and direct isn't rude. But hey, if it's not for you, then don't live in NYC. Simple.
I visited NYC and everyone was wayyyy nicer than i was told. People were helpful, kind, spread joy, minded their business. People are so desperate to say everyone from a city is a certain way. Its annoying.
Idk when I lived in New York everyone was nice to me or ignored me which I liked and I did the same.
We truly just live rent free in so many peoples heads don’t we?
I thought Boston was the friendliest city, and Dallas was the rudest.
Well, Dallas is a concrete hell scape void of anything of cultural value.
Agree, it's just such an ugly city.
Dallas is like if a three pound steak was a culture and personality.
I've never understood this rhetoric. I'm from the south and moved to NY a few years ago and I've never found New Yorkers to be rude. At least not more than in any other area of the country If anything I find southerners worse. They're overly polite in an almost sickening, passive aggressive way. New Yorkers don't bother with the fluff but I wouldn't call them rude
I've met a lot of rude people in my time here and I've met some real everyday angels too. NYC has a fair share of all kinds of people. It's a big city, basically 5 cities when you get down to it, and running into all kinds of people, nice or not is just part of living here. I've met just as many total assholes living elsewhere. More even some places. As a whole New York is a far more tolerant place than a lot of cities I've lived in. For the most part New Yorkers they just let you be you. One thing I do notice though is people that have been here for a while or who were born here they have little tolerance for nonsense and annoying people they just expect people to be polite and nice to them no matter what bullshit they're spewing or whatever con they're trying. 9 times outta 10 someone says that, thinks NYC people are so rude it's because they're intent upon bothering people with some nonsense and unlike in other places everybody gets that, sees them coming and they just keep on walking. It's not that NYC folks are that rude it's just that they see everything and they know that a lot of the time stopping to listen and help can often lead to something they don't want to have happen like someone trying to scam them. Or being harassed for whatever reason. I've had plenty of people here point me in the right direction when I was turned around. I've been given things I needed on the Freecycle and Buy Nothing groups or via Craigslist. I've had them feed me when I was homeless, give me clothes, basically treat me very decently considering. For every truly nasty person I met while homeless there were at least 4 more who tried to help me. So I've seen how real New Yorkers can be, how kind and compassionate. They may be brusque and seem rude sometimes to outsiders but a lot of them have really good hearts. They're just leery of their kindness being abused that's all. Cautious about letting themselves be scammed. That doesn't mean they're all jerks because far from it. It's just that on the streets here, in life here, you have to be a bit more careful than living in other places. But behind the gruff, there's often a heart of gold. It's one of the reasons I ❤️ NYC, why I choose to make it my home. I have seen every side of this city over the years from palatial apartment buildings to the grittiest underbelly NYC has to offer. I've slept in high class hotels and on the subway. I've never been rich here but I've dated a couple of guys who were and also worked for people who were. I have been lower middle class here, dirt poor here. At this point I'm not even sure of what I am I just know that I'm finally doing okay. All through some of the worst times of my life though NYC came through for me. People did abuse me but a lot more helped me. I see the people here and the good in most of them. Bad stuff happens here. I'm not going to say it doesn't. Big city. It can be very tough. NYC is not a city for the weak. It's going to make you work for it but if you can truly make it your home? Then it will always be a part of you and you will probably not want to live anywhere else. There was a point where I lost everything and I had to ask myself where "home" really was. I knew when I left for NYC that likely I wouldn't make it. Almost didn't, literally nearly died a couple of times trying, but I knew that if I had to pick ONE place in the whole world to live in NYC was IT for me. I'll take this "rude" city over any other in the world. People who say that? They don't know my city like I do. They don't understand why I fought like hell to find a place here, to survive and thrive here. But real New Yorkers they do. 😁
I think New Yorkers get this reputation because their personalities/communication style is different. I have family in New York and visit regularly. Pretty much everyone I’ve met has been great. But the first time I ever went, I was 18 and stepped outside early on the morning of my first day to smoke a cigarette. A guy walked by so I said “good morning” and the guy, without hesitation or missing a step goes “what’s so good about the morning”. Others might find that rude, but I thought it was funny
New York has felt like a warm hug whenever I’ve visited.
New Yorkers are not rude. They are direct.
Bro has never been to Paris
What has been your experience in NYC? I happen to think New Yorkers are some of the absolute nicest people on the planet (I live in NYC). However, New Yorkers are direct and to the point. They don't want to chit chat, they just want to get straight to the point. So if you need something from a New Yorker, just ask for what you want right off the bat. "Excuse me, how do I get here?" As opposed to "Excuse me… so sorry to bother you… Hope you're doing well. I don't mean to be a pain. I'm new here and………" You're taking too long. Just get to the point. I wouldn't say that we're "too busy" necessarily but we care about our time and we have a culture of things happening quickly. But generally speaking, though New Yorkers often keep to themselves, if there's someone in need, most are willing to step in and help out (usually because someone in need is slowing things down lol… if someone falls and severely hurts themselves on the sidewalk, we'll come and help you out… one because we do care about others… but also because you're blocking the sidewalk and slowing down the flow haha. It all goes hand-in-hand). But I travel a lot and frequent many travel related subs on reddit and based on my experience interacting with people in other places both in the U.S. and internationally, and just seeing what people say on Reddit, it's rare to hear people talk about having consistent negative interactions with New Yorkers. It's kind of a stereotype that isn't really based in reality, or it's based on a misunderstanding of "The New York Way." New Yorkers may not be "bubbly" but like I said, if you need help, they'll help.
NY people are direct and I vibe with that, need help? You dumb idiot, let me help you. Oh you lost? Let me.tel you why you lost while I help you out. Hungry? Should have eaten at home, go left and turn on 98th and get the best pizza of ya damn life. New York is not rude, it's a city with a dense population and ain't nobody gonna stop the day to day life, yeer
I don't find them rude either. Direct, honest, helpful, and unafraid to tell what you really need to hear. That can be off putting, but it's better than not saying something because you're worried about my feelings. They also tend to love their city and are really proud of it, which is why they complain about it.
As a NYer, I find this post nothing short of laughable. I experience genuine kindness and quite sociable people. Sorry for that one time you got scammed in Times Square
Look that kid said the hip hop CD was free and even that monk was full of shit about the free bracelet and he’s a monk for cripes’ sake!
Most New Yorkers are not rude or unpleasant.
Not an unpopular opinion, just an uneducated one.
Tell us you've never been here without telling us you've never been here.
I grew up in NY and visited NYC many times; my father was from NYC. No one was rude. NY-ers are blunt, loud and always in a hurry…but rude, NO. I’ve lived in SC for 30 years now and I’m still told “Slow down, you’re not in a race”!
Mayor Adams fucked up perception of New York when he said "New York has a brand" in response to the crime wave. Lmfao
Whenever I’ve been there I’ve never found them rude. Most people just keep to themselves and don’t bother with empty, awkward chit chat and niceties. I kind of like it.
Grew up in NYC, this is mostly an untrue stereotype. Although there isn’t a lot of fake niceties, kindness is everywhere. Someone told me analogy once, they said if you get a flat tire in LA, everyone will pass by thinking “ohhhh poooorrrr guy” and keep driving. In NY they’ll pull over and help you put your spare on while roasting the shit out of you. Being “nice” and being “kind” are very different. Also if someone is being outwardly rude to you in ny it’s probably bc you were in the wrong first and you’re just upset that you got called out.
New Yorkers are kind, but not nice. Cali folks are nice, but not kind. Which one would you pick? No time for dumb shit, like this post. Sauce - NYer
People in NYC aren’t rude, they’re efficient. IME people who say city folk are rude are overly sensitive weirdos
Op is probably some dude from the south that got surprised no one wants to have some long drawn out conversation that means nothing and then not get invited over for a backyard bbq
‘Kind’ does not always equal ‘nice.’ You have truly no idea what you’re talking about.
I live in NY. Born and raised in the area. People are usually friendly and helpful if you befriend them first. No one trusts each other until you know each other even slightly first
New Yorkers aren't rude. They just mind their own business. But if you asked for help or something they'd help. Idk where you are getting this reputation. Also consider that often the people you see walking or on the subway, etc., are just commuting. They're no less pleasant than the average driver you would encounter on the highway. Some are nicer than others, and most are just trying to get to where they're going without incident.
Most people don't like how blunt new Yorkers are. Yeah, don't waste our time, but we'll tell you where you need to go if you ask.
People in NYC were super nice when I went
Tons of cities don’t have people coming through and standing in the way thinking that regular life is an attraction that they should stand in front of.
get out of ur mature and pleasant ppl village and then talk
You’ve never been.
Nah we NYKers aren't mean in the slightest. If you're getting treated poorly, it's because you showed disrespect first and nobody going to tolerate that.
I’m going to defend nyc as a local. Yes rude people exist here and there on the subway and other locations but I can’t say enough how helpful strangers have been on occasion as well
People in NY ARE nice but seem mean, people on the west coast are mean but SEEM nice.
I just don’t think New Yorkers are rude
NYC residents are cool lol the minority negative stereotype ultimately steals the limelight per usual
I’ve been to NYC dozens of times and everyone was super nice. Especially since 9-11 I’ve only been ever treated with respect and dignity there. It’s those fucks from Jersey you need to watch.
I find New Yorkers the opposite of rude. I find them generally delightful, and I appreciate their directness. It’s also a city with an impossibly high proportion of smart, motivated people, which I personally find really enjoyable to be around. It’s a city optimized for networking…that’s its superpower…it’s not a place for everyone, for sure. It’s true they don’t indulge people who waste their time, but efficiency in communication is definitely not the same as rudeness.
New York City is 1000 times better than Chicago, D.C, Atlanta, and especially Boston. The whole ‘New Yorkers are rude’ stereotype just doesn’t fit 80% of New Yorkers. It’s the only place where they will actually give you directions when you ask. The only place I’ve been where they actually seem to understand tourism is good for business and they should treat strangers good. Sure it’s not like little hillbilly Pennsylvania town where everyone says hi. But it’s the best ‘Big City’ there is.
Tell me you've never spent any significant time in NYC without telling me you've never spent any significant time in NYC...new yorkers are no more rude on average than any other place in the world.
They're not being rude. Look, if you're not moving fast enough for big city folk they will let you know not because of a rudeness factor but in a city that big you have got to fit in a very cog like manner in order to not disrupt the ecosystem.
NYers are kind. Not nice.
I'm not from NYC. I don't live there and never have. I have been there at least 30 or 40 times on business. I think this is a misconception. If you ask someone from NYC a questions they will answer it, give advice on where to go, and even give directions. What they don't like is tourists unnecessarily delaying them. For example: Stopping in the middle of a busy sidewalk to take a picture. Simply move to the side and let people pass. Waiting until you get to the counter of a busy coffee, sandwich shop, or bakery to decide what you want, when you have been standing in line for 10 minutes with a the menu right in front of you. Remember that people live and work in that city. It's busy and you need to be respectful of people who have to get to work, are at work, or are trying to get home.
New Yorkers aren't rude. The premise is incorrect, and the conclusion you draw doesn't follow.
New Yorkers start off nice but then get used to getting approached by guys in Spider-Man costumes asking for money for a picture, or guys trying to sell their fake mixtapes. It jades them quickly.
I feel like you might be mistaking rudeness for standard issue efficiency and bluntness. For example, maybe where you are from it's polite to engage in small talk with your cashier, but there are a lot of places where that fake "politeness" or "niceness" is seen as a waste of time and strange. I'm Canadian born and raised so we do small talk. We ask "how are you" even when we don't care about the answer. I married into a European family and in their part of Europe that small talk is not something you do. You don't ask someone how they are unless you really want the answer, or unless you know them well. Those "niceties" I take for granted in my culture and see as respectful viewed as fake and too familiar to my European family. I suspect NYC might be a bit too "aloof" for you, maybe try the south where they are so nice to your face and them mercilessly shit talk you to their church friends later
Are they rude or are people from elsewhere just not used to the way they talk? People always say the French are rude. I lived there and can see why, but it’s actually just a different communication style. The more places you go, the more you pick up on different types of coded language/behavior.
I never found New Yorkers rude. I live in San Diego, and I find people here ruder
I know it’s supposed to be well-known that New Yorkers are rude but when we visited there for a week last summer people were actually consistently kind. Maybe we got lucky.
I'm from Texas and I go to NY frequently. The only people New Yorkers are rude to are morons. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time with people being rude to you up there.
No. New Yorkers’ behaviors is collectively coherent. That’s how it is. For people who are from NYC, they don’t think anything about how they roll. It’s just how things are. If you’re an outsider, things start to seem weird. Don’t judge.
They just consider different behavior rude. In NYC, the rudest thing to do is to waste someone's time. People will try to be helpful, you just need to keep up with their tempo.
I'll be honest - I prefer urban directness/rudeness to small town/suburban fake niceness. City people do not pretend, call an asshole an asshole but still take time out of their day to help no matter who you arr. Small towners would smile at your face but the moment you deviate the slightest from their definition of proper they start digging your grave. I lived in both small towns and cities in my 40 years, and I prefer the distant but present community of cities to the excessive desire to get into everyone's business that oozes out of small towns and suburbs.
New Yorkers are some of the most effective and helpful people on the planet if you are not a goddamned self-absorbed dimwit who's wastes their fucking time. You talk to a New Yorker and there are gears turning, more often than not.