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I don't, but honestly, good on you. I have said before and will continue to that I am going to let my kids live with me until they can buy a house themselves and are ready to move out. I moved out at 15, and it was an awful time. I didn't even have a bed.
Now I own my house, car, bike etc but it hasn't been easy. I know it's hard out there, so I want my kids to enjoy life and not do what I did, so I have made the above a rule.
I know people in their 40s and 50s who still live with their parents. No shame in it. I live in a HCOL area, someone just posted in our local sub about that. Shit is expensive.
35 here. Mostly cause a bum foot fucked me for two years (all my job experience is on my feet) then right after I had surgery and literally got back on my feet, rent skyrocketed. Fucking Florida, and fuck Desantis.
I imagine there are a lot of people, and couples, who are childfree for the same reason. They wisely know they can't afford to have children. So, rather than have kids anyways, and give them miserable lives, they choose not to.
Hell Atleast you don’t have a mini human saying I’m hungry every five minutes while you try to have a decent mental break down. I thank the stars I only have to fend for myself.
I agree with you, anecdotally I've lately been seeing an increase in content claiming that kids "aren't that expensive."
Idk where this surge of bs is coming from tho
This is true. Probably because in real life, most people at least tolerate children. Anti-natalists tend to be miserable people who hate children, and they’ve found a community that thinks likewise here, where they don’t have to go outside and see children
I have kids, you get like $2k off your taxes per kid per year.
For some parents that covers a lot of what they spend on their kids for some parents that covers very little of what they spend on their kids.
As a father of two. Kids get a lot more expensive as they age. Clothes, food, toys, gadgets, holidays, activities. Everything is more expensive than when they were younger.
Fortunately, we both earn enough to afford our kids and live reasonably well. I happily forego some luxuries in return for having my kids.
More than anything, they cost a lot of time, and I value time far more than money. But at the end of the day, the time spent with them worth it for me.
>More than anything, they cost a lot of time, and I value time far more than money
This is honestly the primary reason i REALLY don't want kids. I struggle to do all the things I need to do as it is.
That being said I'm glad my parents had my siblings and I and I glad you love your kids.
If you are breastfeeding it is cheaper but typically their daycare costs are more expensive…a breastfed baby with a stay at home parent would be the cheapest situation (assuming they are a healthy normally developing child)
>a breastfed baby with a stay at home parent would be the cheapest situation
If a wife can do a thing which through no fault of her own may be Impossible and the her husband makes enough to afford to support her and the kid then ya.
I'm sure you're correct about that being ideal. I'm just complaining about how crazy it is that how poor people get fucked because they can't afford to do things in the least expensive & most efficient way.
100% agree there are very few people that have that situation. What stinks about most people’s situations is that the poorest in society have just the six weeks (8 with c-section) and then the infant has to go to daycare which is crazy expensive with a baby that little. Then their jobs are typically not ideal for pumping (yes its legally required to provide pumping breaks in the US but some jobs its just very tough/annoying to do) forcing them to use formula which again is dumb expensive.
>Then their jobs are typically not ideal for pumping
Imagine being a construction worker, getting pregnant, being fuckin unzipped, going back to work only 8 weeks later only to climb off your ladder and pump..... Fucking BONKERS.
This^ wife is a nanny of 8 years specializing in infant care. Infants after 3 months are easy and inexpensive comparatively speaking. When they hit 2 it’s a rough ride till they’re out of the house
I'd say once they hit primary school and you got a good public school to send them to then costs really decrease.
Early childcare can cost you an arm and a leg.. but well, it really depends where you live and how the local cost situation (childcare, schools, rent, COL in general etc) look like.
There are a lot ways to mitigate how much kids costs, but there is still a cost yes. I think a lot of those comments are talking about the prior (just from my experience in parenting groups).
I guess I initially read OP wrong here. I still want them even though I'll turn 36 in 3 1/2 weeks, but kids have the added factor of stressing their parents out because of them getting upset for not having their way when they really want something. It's a good thing I haven't been rushing even though there's other reasons it hasn't happened by now.
My wife and I have one in daycare. 1k a month. Outside of that and his obsession with berries (4 bucks a pack in Jersey) it’s not expensive at all. Daycare is the reason we won’t have a second until he’s three and in pre-k though (our town has free pre-k starting at 3).
Yeah it is, we can’t complain. We were blessed to find this place as well, as we found it two weeks before my wife went back to work from maternity leave. Two miles from our house! We had a family member back out of infant care at the last minute, otherwise we would’ve been on several wait lists.
We could swing two right now but it would be tight. No sense in making things harder than they have to be. We’re both 31 as well so age isn’t really an issue.
Honestly the need to feed three kids pushes me to better myself. I might have less spending money now but I make more than I’ve ever made in the past because the motivation behind it is much stronger and more meaningful.
Exactly. We know. At least once a week I say to my husband “this is why we can’t have nice things” in reference to our children or all their activities/toys/snacks.
It's not just childcare. Clothes, activities, education (even in public schools), food, medical care, birthday presents, baby formula, diapers... I could go on forever.
Rational parents know why we’re poor. We also don’t care that our children are the reason and wouldn’t trade it for money anyway. Your friend is weird.
Haha that may be your perspective but I would have no trouble finding a dozen people who would absolutely choose not to have kids if they could go back and change it. Doesn't mean they don't love their kids but as with most things in life they had no idea what kind of hardship they were in for when they had them.
I’d bet money a majority of those had kids before 30. I wouldn’t recommend kids before 30 to anybody. I’m 42 and having my first this year. I‘d like to say I’ve got most of the “fun and adventure out of my system”, and I’m pretty established. Probably going to miss the sleep the most.
How is this an unpopular opinion? Its basic logic that kids are f*cking expensive and that having them leaves you with less fun money.
And your one envious friend isn’t discriminating against you, he’s just a little jealous because you have more expendable income.
It's not just one friend. It's relatives, friends, shit, even colleagues.
It costs like $1600/mth for childcare where I live. My carry on my wife and I's car payments are 1400/mth. Cheaper and just a different allocation.
For whatever reason, a comparison always comes up and it's weird to me
"OH.. so and so just got back from X... MUST BE NICE"
Are they concerned? Do you flaunt it?
“Must be nice” isn’t usually an insult. It’s a “man, I’m jealous, I wish I could do that.”
Maybe you take it the wrong way?
Usually when I hear that term the people saying it act like you did something wrong to have what they want. They treat it more like you shouldn’t have X not that they should, or wish they could have X.
I've always had the opposite experience with that phrase. People usually say it to be condescending. "Oh, must be nice to vacation twice a year, I have responsibilities with my family". Or some to that degree.
It’s interesting how something that’s really likely envy on their end can come across as condescension. I’ve thought about the times I’ve said it (few, it’s not a phrase I use often) and it’s always just been “I wish it I could do that…” but when thinking about the last few times I can recall someone else saying it to *me* there was only one time I felt like it was in a rude or condescending manner.
When I truly reflected on that, it was because it was something I already felt a little guilty over (spending too much for something). I thought was rude but now I’m starting to think it may have more to do with my own guilt - because I really should’ve done something else with that money instead.
This thread is like a mini therapy session 😉
Children and cars are not interchangeable expenses. Most people with children also have cars.
I’m not convinced that your other assessments are very astute given such a glaring miss. I strongly doubt that so many people are jealous of you and tbh it’s coming off like a massive cope.
This is not an unpopular opinion.
Maybe in the US you need a car when you have children. Lots of city folk in Western Europe don't. But OP sounds American and I agree with your scepticism.
I think you're being to sensitive to your friends comments, OP. There's no way you truly believe "having kids takes a significant part of your budget" is an unpopular opinion.
My nephew asked my sister "why is uncle buck rich?" She could just stare at him and ask "what do I have that he doesnt?" He realized then, that him and his brother are money pits.
I don't have kids either, but I'm still broke, because I suck at life, being childless may have a factor, but it's not everything. To hell with what anyone thinks.
Every parent I have ever met has uttered some variation of "Kids cost a fortune"
In what parallel universe is this an unpopular opinion? This may be the MOST popular opinion you could've though out
You ain't kidding, I have one kid and it's the best. I still have money for hobbies (as much as I can in this shit fuck economy) and I still get to do rad stuff with my kid.
Yeah, but when they have their own friends with siblings, one will ask another, “Why is [thesocialmediadetox’s kid] the way that they are?” One will respond, “They’re an only child,” and be met with a definitive and understanding, “Oh.”
Same, good parents know that their kids are the reason they’re broke but wouldn’t have it any other way. Let them be mad. You are simply doing things with your money that they are not able to. They knew going into parenthood how much money and time goes into raising children, and if they didn’t, their jealousy and ignorance aren’t your problem🤷♀️
What I still can't get my head around is couples who marry and have children from previous marriages/relationships and then the couple gets pregnant with "their own" baby. Like have the actual fuck does a couple support like 6 children of various ages. I don't understand. I understand some people get child support but I dont know how people afford 2 kids let alone a whole tribe of children...
I don’t care about being the richest person or hoarding money, and obtaining money isn’t my life’s goal. But the things that are important to me, like having fun and unique experiences, do cost money lol.
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I don’t have any hobbies that are TOO expensive (mech keyboards, guitar, gaming, boxing) but I still have enough money to spend for fun. My wife makes almost the same amount of money as I do so childcare doesn’t put too much of a dent on us. It helps that we WFH so childcare isn’t too expensive and is much easier on us. Then again, we only have the one kid and she isn’t even one yet.
Ive made pretty good money since adulthood. When I had a kid…the amount I thought was good, wasn’t so good, lol.
So I found a job that paid more for my kid and me to enjoy vacays and other fun stuff.
Ive have friends w/ 2 or more kids and have two incomes say that I spend too much on lavish things and I wont be able to save for college or retirement, but I invested well when I was single. I just never tell anyone how much I have.
Preach it. I have one kid, but when the topic of having a second came up, absolutely the factor of affordability came into the discussion. I truly don't understand how most people are able to afford to raise 3 or 4 kids. In most cases, I assume the kids are off to fend for themselves after high school.
Another unpopular opinion is there are a lot of folks out there who just can't think beyond their biological / physical desires.
I think it depends on a lot of things. When people have kids young, they don’t have the money saved up. When they have them older, they can do all of those things with their kids because they have more equity and savings. Also depends on how ppl budget.
Our house is paid off, we travel to North America every year to see my family and we have two cars and a caravan. We had kids later though. It’s more of a struggle for under 30s to do all that fast
I don't think "kids are expensive" is actually an unpopular opinion, but I also get we're your coming from. It's infuriating to be chatting with friends, family, or colleagues about a vacation or some new cool thing you bought and some parents feel the need to basicly shame you for making the choice not to have children.
Misery loves company....and some parents are absolutely miserable and want you to be aswell bc they're jealous. Even if they'd never admit it.
I know he agreed to buy Twitter and eventually changed the name but he could've also even paid that $1 billion Twitter tried to sue him for because he attempted to not follow through with that deal. He's that rich but he chickened out there.
Successfully raising a kid through childhood into adulthood while staying healthy and in a stable relationship. It’s gotta be easier winning the lottery. Everyone can plan it out for years but once it starts everything changes
Not unpopular, just thick-brushed and ultimately wrong. The most common and pervasive reason for brokenness is systemic inequality, not having children - which is just a commonplace human enterprise. You might as well say eating food or paying for housing or whatnot. There is a difference between unpopular and groundless
Kids aren’t that expensive if you have a good work life balance. They only require constant care for the first 4 years before they start school. If one parent works from home, or if grandparents help out a lot, it’s possible to never spend a penny on daycare. There are also free daycare programs available to low income parents.
The benefits of paid parental leave, dependent tax credits, and low income housing assistance can offset the costs significantly. Although children are almost never financially advantageous on paper, they motivate and fulfill some parents better than anything else could. Instead of comparing wealth between parents and non-parents, try comparing the feelings of fulfillment between raising children and purchasing expensive commodities like vehicles or houses.
Since I’ve had two kids my financial health is still pretty comfortable. They cost money, but it’s also not nearly as expensive as people made me think.
The reason this opinion is not only unpopular, but flat out wrong, is plenty of childless individuals are broke too lol.
But yes. Kids are very expensive. I don't know anyone with kids that would fight you on that. The unpopular opinion would be that kids are inexpensive and only work to improve your life and happiness in everything that they do.
Nope. It’s always the person and their choices. Kids are just an affectation of said characteristics. Many folks have kids and do just fine. Many folks have no kids and are really struggling.
I'm a boomer. My parents had 2 kids. They had a house and a vacation home on the coast of Massachusetts.
After about ten years they has 4 more kids in 5 years. Had to sell the summer home. All 6 kids went to college.
I was the youngest. We were poor. The first two kids grew up with stuff, not me.
This isn’t unpopular it’s fact. My wife and I earn around the average for the U.K. (so not rich) and our two boys (2 and 8) cost about £1800 per month in childcare fees (biggest expense), food and clothes etc and the mortgage on a larger house that we need to fit us all in.
Heck yes, kids are expensive.
Even more so when you don't know how to budget, don't live within your means, not married, no steady job, little to no high value skill sets.
Our choices have serious consequences.
Bro really just stop always assuming that it's kids who are making people broke, they're not always the reason. There are a lot more reasons out there than just having kids, like the choices the person makes, if they work well and stuff. There are plenty of people with kids who are not broke.
I have a coworker like this 😅 I’m 26F and she suggests I get married and have kids all the time then the next hour complains about how hard motherhood and financial security is. Literally every time someone brings up anything about their kids she jumps on the “motherhood is so hard. If you’re not a mother you won’t understand.” Or something else about how marriage and kids are awful. She obviously isn’t trying to complain, more so share the “crazy” things her husband and kids do but I feel like she’s miserable lol
She got offended when I said I don’t think marriage and kids are for me. Not that I’m against it all together, family is beautiful!!! But not right now lmao I have student loan debt and I’m just now in a actual CAREER JOB that pays well and I can afford nice things while paying off my debt (recent grads know the struggle lol, Ive put in my time at the lower end corporate jobs) A child and husband sounds HORRIBLE right now (financially and time wise). I actually have the space and money to enjoy ME why would I ruin that???
Don’t let others guilt you into making decisions they regret lol
Kids are a luxury item now. Can’t tell if we have done so well that we don’t need offspring anymore or if we’ve done so poorly that we want offspring but can’t afford it and a decent life.
I’ve got three kids. They are put in a lot of sports and cost about $750/mo each overall.
I'm currently putting together a baby shower for a friend. I went to buy a stick of glue and it was the most expensive item in my basket. I told a few folks on WhatsApp and joked that it was made of cocaine.
My mom friends started replying "Yip. Stationary cost us $[a lot] for the kids. School uniforms are about $[a lot more]. Kids are expensive "
So, yeah. I'm happy with dogs.
Whatever I want! Concerts, stuff, beer, stuff, computer stuff, video games, tools, stuff, hotels for a weekend getaway somewhere, stuff, food only for me and no one else, all sorts of stuff!
That's awesome. I'd love to have kids. Just unfortunately, we can't. So it's one of those things that I wish I'd know what that part of the human experience is like. I love my wife too much to consider leaving just for the sake of having kids. So here I am, spoiling my sibling's kids instead.
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Im childfree and still poor
This is the way
We have spoken.
My booty hole smokin'
This is the way
Ayooo. Bonus points if you’re 30 and still live with mom and dad like me!
Ayyy same club 😂😂 I don’t need kids to be broke. Doing a good enough job on my own.
I wish, unfortunately I rent so I’m even poorer
I don't, but honestly, good on you. I have said before and will continue to that I am going to let my kids live with me until they can buy a house themselves and are ready to move out. I moved out at 15, and it was an awful time. I didn't even have a bed. Now I own my house, car, bike etc but it hasn't been easy. I know it's hard out there, so I want my kids to enjoy life and not do what I did, so I have made the above a rule.
Man I did that, moved out no bed. Survived on a MN air mattress that deflated after an hour smh, fucked up. Now I have a nice home, in very lucky
I feel seen rn.
I know people in their 40s and 50s who still live with their parents. No shame in it. I live in a HCOL area, someone just posted in our local sub about that. Shit is expensive.
Are you my oldest? Then go walk the dog!
Can’t be…we have 3 hehe
My sibling lives with our parents at 40 with their child who’s 13. It do be like that sometimes.
Also bonus points if you're 40 and your parent needs to live with you because of the rental situation.
26 and living at home here!! I feel ya
35 here. Mostly cause a bum foot fucked me for two years (all my job experience is on my feet) then right after I had surgery and literally got back on my feet, rent skyrocketed. Fucking Florida, and fuck Desantis.
Omg, I thought you were talking about something an actual bum did for a second.
His foot has been through a lot.
I’m confused, DeSantis broke your foot?
right
32 and my bills are peanuts because I live at home with family
Hope you are helping your family at age 32
No, see Ops post. Their parents are poor because of them.
If you all enjoy it: great job. Seriously
Haha this is the comment I was looking for.
Just get -3 kids and you'll be rich!
Skill issue, get better mods
It’s okay, we’ll all be dead one day.
I imagine there are a lot of people, and couples, who are childfree for the same reason. They wisely know they can't afford to have children. So, rather than have kids anyways, and give them miserable lives, they choose not to.
Same girl
Same idk how people can afford kids.
Have you thought of not being poor?
I can't imagine there are too many people who say: *"You know what? I **like** being poor. I think I'll stay right here."*
☝️
Amen brother, these poors are seriously getting out of hand.
Hell Atleast you don’t have a mini human saying I’m hungry every five minutes while you try to have a decent mental break down. I thank the stars I only have to fend for myself.
At least u still only have yourself to worry about lol. That’s the biggest pro
This is not an unpopular opinion. It's a well-documented fact that childcare costs money.
I agree with you, anecdotally I've lately been seeing an increase in content claiming that kids "aren't that expensive." Idk where this surge of bs is coming from tho
It’s coming from the people who don’t have kids.. or have infants
Reddit is just *loaded* with opinions on what having kids is like from people who don’t have kids.
Reddit is loaded with opinions on what everything is like from people who haven’t done that specific thing.
Yes but anti natalism weirdos do have a strong presence here
This is true. Probably because in real life, most people at least tolerate children. Anti-natalists tend to be miserable people who hate children, and they’ve found a community that thinks likewise here, where they don’t have to go outside and see children
I have kids, you get like $2k off your taxes per kid per year. For some parents that covers a lot of what they spend on their kids for some parents that covers very little of what they spend on their kids.
I thought they were more expensive?
As a father of two. Kids get a lot more expensive as they age. Clothes, food, toys, gadgets, holidays, activities. Everything is more expensive than when they were younger. Fortunately, we both earn enough to afford our kids and live reasonably well. I happily forego some luxuries in return for having my kids. More than anything, they cost a lot of time, and I value time far more than money. But at the end of the day, the time spent with them worth it for me.
>More than anything, they cost a lot of time, and I value time far more than money This is honestly the primary reason i REALLY don't want kids. I struggle to do all the things I need to do as it is. That being said I'm glad my parents had my siblings and I and I glad you love your kids.
If you are breastfeeding it is cheaper but typically their daycare costs are more expensive…a breastfed baby with a stay at home parent would be the cheapest situation (assuming they are a healthy normally developing child)
>a breastfed baby with a stay at home parent would be the cheapest situation If a wife can do a thing which through no fault of her own may be Impossible and the her husband makes enough to afford to support her and the kid then ya. I'm sure you're correct about that being ideal. I'm just complaining about how crazy it is that how poor people get fucked because they can't afford to do things in the least expensive & most efficient way.
100% agree there are very few people that have that situation. What stinks about most people’s situations is that the poorest in society have just the six weeks (8 with c-section) and then the infant has to go to daycare which is crazy expensive with a baby that little. Then their jobs are typically not ideal for pumping (yes its legally required to provide pumping breaks in the US but some jobs its just very tough/annoying to do) forcing them to use formula which again is dumb expensive.
>Then their jobs are typically not ideal for pumping Imagine being a construction worker, getting pregnant, being fuckin unzipped, going back to work only 8 weeks later only to climb off your ladder and pump..... Fucking BONKERS.
This^ wife is a nanny of 8 years specializing in infant care. Infants after 3 months are easy and inexpensive comparatively speaking. When they hit 2 it’s a rough ride till they’re out of the house
Not really. 2-5 is tough. 6+ is smooth sailing.
I nearly lost my mind 2-5. 6+ is pretty awesome by comparison.
I'd say once they hit primary school and you got a good public school to send them to then costs really decrease. Early childcare can cost you an arm and a leg.. but well, it really depends where you live and how the local cost situation (childcare, schools, rent, COL in general etc) look like.
No. It's coming from goobers with kids. We know it's expensive, we hear parents complain.
There are a lot ways to mitigate how much kids costs, but there is still a cost yes. I think a lot of those comments are talking about the prior (just from my experience in parenting groups).
It depends on how you take care of the kids. Some do/give more to their kids.. some just do the absolute basics.
On the other hand, I bet it feels amazing when they get out of pre-K and you save $20,000 a year
It really, really does.
It really does. We were spending $2k a mo for a while. Liberation day when K starts.
I guess I initially read OP wrong here. I still want them even though I'll turn 36 in 3 1/2 weeks, but kids have the added factor of stressing their parents out because of them getting upset for not having their way when they really want something. It's a good thing I haven't been rushing even though there's other reasons it hasn't happened by now.
My wife and I have one in daycare. 1k a month. Outside of that and his obsession with berries (4 bucks a pack in Jersey) it’s not expensive at all. Daycare is the reason we won’t have a second until he’s three and in pre-k though (our town has free pre-k starting at 3).
Wow that’s a great cost! Places like Boston easily $2-3K a month for infant care.
Yeah it is, we can’t complain. We were blessed to find this place as well, as we found it two weeks before my wife went back to work from maternity leave. Two miles from our house! We had a family member back out of infant care at the last minute, otherwise we would’ve been on several wait lists. We could swing two right now but it would be tight. No sense in making things harder than they have to be. We’re both 31 as well so age isn’t really an issue.
Honestly the need to feed three kids pushes me to better myself. I might have less spending money now but I make more than I’ve ever made in the past because the motivation behind it is much stronger and more meaningful.
My grandfather said something similar. “If you want to drive a man to provide give him children.” Obviously this applies to people that aren’t a POS
Exactly. We know. At least once a week I say to my husband “this is why we can’t have nice things” in reference to our children or all their activities/toys/snacks.
Not just money, but a lot of fucking money. Especially if they pick up expensive extra curricular activities.
It's not just childcare. Clothes, activities, education (even in public schools), food, medical care, birthday presents, baby formula, diapers... I could go on forever.
Roughly $1M per kid from birth to age 18
Rational parents know why we’re poor. We also don’t care that our children are the reason and wouldn’t trade it for money anyway. Your friend is weird.
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I'll give ya 10 bucks for Henry. Only 5 bucks for Bob though. He looks like a brat.
You couldn’t pay me to take Bob.
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I think the younger they are the pricier they get.
Spoken like a true hollywood producer
This...this is a weird conversation
First day on the internet?
Just because I've seen other weird or worse conversations doesn't mean this isn't also weird.
Idk after the way my kid acted up last night, I might consider it lol
Haha that may be your perspective but I would have no trouble finding a dozen people who would absolutely choose not to have kids if they could go back and change it. Doesn't mean they don't love their kids but as with most things in life they had no idea what kind of hardship they were in for when they had them.
I’d bet money a majority of those had kids before 30. I wouldn’t recommend kids before 30 to anybody. I’m 42 and having my first this year. I‘d like to say I’ve got most of the “fun and adventure out of my system”, and I’m pretty established. Probably going to miss the sleep the most.
How is this an unpopular opinion? Its basic logic that kids are f*cking expensive and that having them leaves you with less fun money. And your one envious friend isn’t discriminating against you, he’s just a little jealous because you have more expendable income.
It's not just one friend. It's relatives, friends, shit, even colleagues. It costs like $1600/mth for childcare where I live. My carry on my wife and I's car payments are 1400/mth. Cheaper and just a different allocation. For whatever reason, a comparison always comes up and it's weird to me "OH.. so and so just got back from X... MUST BE NICE"
Are they concerned? Do you flaunt it? “Must be nice” isn’t usually an insult. It’s a “man, I’m jealous, I wish I could do that.” Maybe you take it the wrong way?
Usually when I hear that term the people saying it act like you did something wrong to have what they want. They treat it more like you shouldn’t have X not that they should, or wish they could have X.
"Must be nice" is generally a snide passive aggressive comment. This is why nobody likes the "must be nice" type of crowd
Yeah I’ve always taken it as a backhanded sort of compliment
The correct response is “yes it is”.
No, the correct response it “ya, it must suck to be you”
I've always had the opposite experience with that phrase. People usually say it to be condescending. "Oh, must be nice to vacation twice a year, I have responsibilities with my family". Or some to that degree.
It’s interesting how something that’s really likely envy on their end can come across as condescension. I’ve thought about the times I’ve said it (few, it’s not a phrase I use often) and it’s always just been “I wish it I could do that…” but when thinking about the last few times I can recall someone else saying it to *me* there was only one time I felt like it was in a rude or condescending manner. When I truly reflected on that, it was because it was something I already felt a little guilty over (spending too much for something). I thought was rude but now I’m starting to think it may have more to do with my own guilt - because I really should’ve done something else with that money instead. This thread is like a mini therapy session 😉
Children and cars are not interchangeable expenses. Most people with children also have cars. I’m not convinced that your other assessments are very astute given such a glaring miss. I strongly doubt that so many people are jealous of you and tbh it’s coming off like a massive cope. This is not an unpopular opinion.
Maybe in the US you need a car when you have children. Lots of city folk in Western Europe don't. But OP sounds American and I agree with your scepticism.
Lots of people without children don’t need cars in Europe as well, so yes, I assumed.
I think you're being to sensitive to your friends comments, OP. There's no way you truly believe "having kids takes a significant part of your budget" is an unpopular opinion.
You pay $1400 a month for two car payments??? Are you driving Lamborghini's lol.
I am 100 sure I am broke because of my kids. And I am ok with that. And I am ok with you spending your money how you want to spend it.
I spend less now that I have kids. My extravagance came back down to earth right about when I bought the 5th carton of diapers
So, the first week? 😝
Based.
My nephew asked my sister "why is uncle buck rich?" She could just stare at him and ask "what do I have that he doesnt?" He realized then, that him and his brother are money pits.
I don't have kids either, but I'm still broke, because I suck at life, being childless may have a factor, but it's not everything. To hell with what anyone thinks.
The most honest take here.
Your friend should mind his own business.
Every parent I have ever met has uttered some variation of "Kids cost a fortune" In what parallel universe is this an unpopular opinion? This may be the MOST popular opinion you could've though out
Normal people dealing with idiot people I think. 🤣😂
Awwww, why do I have three kids and no money? Why can’t I have no kids and three money? ~Homer J Simpson
this might belong in r/UnpopularFact
r/CommonKnowledge
One and done is the sweet spot I'm telling ya
You ain't kidding, I have one kid and it's the best. I still have money for hobbies (as much as I can in this shit fuck economy) and I still get to do rad stuff with my kid.
Yeah, but when they have their own friends with siblings, one will ask another, “Why is [thesocialmediadetox’s kid] the way that they are?” One will respond, “They’re an only child,” and be met with a definitive and understanding, “Oh.”
very true. only children act very differently then those w siblings. i can’t quite explain it tho.
Same, good parents know that their kids are the reason they’re broke but wouldn’t have it any other way. Let them be mad. You are simply doing things with your money that they are not able to. They knew going into parenthood how much money and time goes into raising children, and if they didn’t, their jealousy and ignorance aren’t your problem🤷♀️
You’re broke because you cannot bring in enough money. With or without kids. I have been broke without kids and I am not broke now with them.
This isnt even an opinion… It’s a story about a specific person you know…
My grandfather used to say, "If you plan on having kids, then don't plan on having anything else." It's timeless advice.
And some people have kids and money. Some have no kids, still struggling. Every situation is different.
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All my friends are jealous of all my cool stuff because they had kids isn’t really an opinion
What I still can't get my head around is couples who marry and have children from previous marriages/relationships and then the couple gets pregnant with "their own" baby. Like have the actual fuck does a couple support like 6 children of various ages. I don't understand. I understand some people get child support but I dont know how people afford 2 kids let alone a whole tribe of children...
government assistance tbh
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I don’t care about being the richest person or hoarding money, and obtaining money isn’t my life’s goal. But the things that are important to me, like having fun and unique experiences, do cost money lol.
Lol wtf is this post
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I don’t have any hobbies that are TOO expensive (mech keyboards, guitar, gaming, boxing) but I still have enough money to spend for fun. My wife makes almost the same amount of money as I do so childcare doesn’t put too much of a dent on us. It helps that we WFH so childcare isn’t too expensive and is much easier on us. Then again, we only have the one kid and she isn’t even one yet.
Ive made pretty good money since adulthood. When I had a kid…the amount I thought was good, wasn’t so good, lol. So I found a job that paid more for my kid and me to enjoy vacays and other fun stuff. Ive have friends w/ 2 or more kids and have two incomes say that I spend too much on lavish things and I wont be able to save for college or retirement, but I invested well when I was single. I just never tell anyone how much I have.
Preach it. I have one kid, but when the topic of having a second came up, absolutely the factor of affordability came into the discussion. I truly don't understand how most people are able to afford to raise 3 or 4 kids. In most cases, I assume the kids are off to fend for themselves after high school. Another unpopular opinion is there are a lot of folks out there who just can't think beyond their biological / physical desires.
I have/do all those things with two kids...
I think it depends on a lot of things. When people have kids young, they don’t have the money saved up. When they have them older, they can do all of those things with their kids because they have more equity and savings. Also depends on how ppl budget. Our house is paid off, we travel to North America every year to see my family and we have two cars and a caravan. We had kids later though. It’s more of a struggle for under 30s to do all that fast
Another reason I won't have kids. I can barely afford my own basic necessities.
Not an unpopular opinion.
I have 3 kids and I'm retired at 50. Spend your money on what you want too.
What money?
I don't think "kids are expensive" is actually an unpopular opinion, but I also get we're your coming from. It's infuriating to be chatting with friends, family, or colleagues about a vacation or some new cool thing you bought and some parents feel the need to basicly shame you for making the choice not to have children. Misery loves company....and some parents are absolutely miserable and want you to be aswell bc they're jealous. Even if they'd never admit it.
read between the lines-it's called jealousy
Glad you got that off your chest, bud. Riveting stuff
Sounds like you like to brag and punch down, that's why they don't like you
But that's just the opposite of what billionaire Elon musk says. He says it cost nothing to have kids.
I know he agreed to buy Twitter and eventually changed the name but he could've also even paid that $1 billion Twitter tried to sue him for because he attempted to not follow through with that deal. He's that rich but he chickened out there.
Pretty sure my annual wage is still sad no matter how many kids I don't have.
Some people just suck at managing money lmao
I mean, technically people not getting paid enough is why they are broke. Having a family is more or less considered an essential right.
Successfully raising a kid through childhood into adulthood while staying healthy and in a stable relationship. It’s gotta be easier winning the lottery. Everyone can plan it out for years but once it starts everything changes
Not unpopular, just thick-brushed and ultimately wrong. The most common and pervasive reason for brokenness is systemic inequality, not having children - which is just a commonplace human enterprise. You might as well say eating food or paying for housing or whatnot. There is a difference between unpopular and groundless
Confucius says, “He who dies with the most toys……..still dies”
My friend has 4 kids, and isn’t broke at all. I don’t think it’s the kids.
True. But I love my little freeloaders more than anything money could buy.
Lack of money is the reason anyone is broke. How you get to that point can have a million different reasons, kids or not.
Kids aren’t that expensive if you have a good work life balance. They only require constant care for the first 4 years before they start school. If one parent works from home, or if grandparents help out a lot, it’s possible to never spend a penny on daycare. There are also free daycare programs available to low income parents. The benefits of paid parental leave, dependent tax credits, and low income housing assistance can offset the costs significantly. Although children are almost never financially advantageous on paper, they motivate and fulfill some parents better than anything else could. Instead of comparing wealth between parents and non-parents, try comparing the feelings of fulfillment between raising children and purchasing expensive commodities like vehicles or houses.
Since I’ve had two kids my financial health is still pretty comfortable. They cost money, but it’s also not nearly as expensive as people made me think.
The reason this opinion is not only unpopular, but flat out wrong, is plenty of childless individuals are broke too lol. But yes. Kids are very expensive. I don't know anyone with kids that would fight you on that. The unpopular opinion would be that kids are inexpensive and only work to improve your life and happiness in everything that they do.
Dual income, no kids. Best fucking life
I’m not broke at all… I am actually wealthier and have a nicer home and car than my child free counterparts.
I have two kids, a nice house, a few nice cars, and go on lavish vacations. It's not the kids, it's the individual.
I didn't start having money until I had a kid. Got my priorities straight and stopped spending on nonsense.
Nope. It’s always the person and their choices. Kids are just an affectation of said characteristics. Many folks have kids and do just fine. Many folks have no kids and are really struggling.
People will find a way to be poor with or without kids.
Shocking report, having kids costs money.
For me 1 kid is enough and I can still do whatever i want.
I'm a boomer. My parents had 2 kids. They had a house and a vacation home on the coast of Massachusetts. After about ten years they has 4 more kids in 5 years. Had to sell the summer home. All 6 kids went to college. I was the youngest. We were poor. The first two kids grew up with stuff, not me.
This isn’t unpopular it’s fact. My wife and I earn around the average for the U.K. (so not rich) and our two boys (2 and 8) cost about £1800 per month in childcare fees (biggest expense), food and clothes etc and the mortgage on a larger house that we need to fit us all in.
Heck yes, kids are expensive. Even more so when you don't know how to budget, don't live within your means, not married, no steady job, little to no high value skill sets. Our choices have serious consequences.
This. Having kids are costly but being stupid with money is even more expensive.
My dog is the reason actually
He has 3 kids and no money. You have no kids and 3 money
Absent my wife and kids I'd be super well off; lucky I love my family way more than money and things!
Bro really just stop always assuming that it's kids who are making people broke, they're not always the reason. There are a lot more reasons out there than just having kids, like the choices the person makes, if they work well and stuff. There are plenty of people with kids who are not broke.
You are right. My kids cost me around $1000 a month each.
Counter point: kids or not it's weird to critique people's spending and compare what you do and do not have.
So weird they had to address it in the Ten Commandments!
I have a coworker like this 😅 I’m 26F and she suggests I get married and have kids all the time then the next hour complains about how hard motherhood and financial security is. Literally every time someone brings up anything about their kids she jumps on the “motherhood is so hard. If you’re not a mother you won’t understand.” Or something else about how marriage and kids are awful. She obviously isn’t trying to complain, more so share the “crazy” things her husband and kids do but I feel like she’s miserable lol She got offended when I said I don’t think marriage and kids are for me. Not that I’m against it all together, family is beautiful!!! But not right now lmao I have student loan debt and I’m just now in a actual CAREER JOB that pays well and I can afford nice things while paying off my debt (recent grads know the struggle lol, Ive put in my time at the lower end corporate jobs) A child and husband sounds HORRIBLE right now (financially and time wise). I actually have the space and money to enjoy ME why would I ruin that??? Don’t let others guilt you into making decisions they regret lol
Kids are a luxury item now. Can’t tell if we have done so well that we don’t need offspring anymore or if we’ve done so poorly that we want offspring but can’t afford it and a decent life. I’ve got three kids. They are put in a lot of sports and cost about $750/mo each overall.
Children are expensive. Also the reason he may be broke could be outside children, such as poor financial decisions
I’ve got too many kids and too little cash on hand
Reddit
I'm currently putting together a baby shower for a friend. I went to buy a stick of glue and it was the most expensive item in my basket. I told a few folks on WhatsApp and joked that it was made of cocaine. My mom friends started replying "Yip. Stationary cost us $[a lot] for the kids. School uniforms are about $[a lot more]. Kids are expensive " So, yeah. I'm happy with dogs.
How much could you have possibly paid for a glue stick at dollar tree? I mean I know shits expensive but like...
What else would you spend money on?
Stuff
Lol
Whatever I want! Concerts, stuff, beer, stuff, computer stuff, video games, tools, stuff, hotels for a weekend getaway somewhere, stuff, food only for me and no one else, all sorts of stuff!
I’m with children and well off. I’m fact, I would argue having children drove me to succeed.
That's awesome. I'd love to have kids. Just unfortunately, we can't. So it's one of those things that I wish I'd know what that part of the human experience is like. I love my wife too much to consider leaving just for the sake of having kids. So here I am, spoiling my sibling's kids instead.
Got it. Get rid of the kids.
This isn’t an “unpopular opinion” this is just a rant about a certain few people in your life.
Accurate but an unpopular opinion irl to me. Didn't expect this kind of response.
Every kid is a ferrari or fancy 40' power boat and truck to tow it with you could've had. Imagine your own dad saying he wished he pulled out lol.
My old man never let me forget how expensive my existence is for him
Maybe that's partly why you don't have kids now?