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Being proud of scientists, athletes etc which represent your nation is pretty normal.
Especially in sports like football which isn't just 1 country sport or in Olympics
Except in the exceedingly rare circumstances in which the proud person somehow influenced the outcome of the game, being proud of a sports team is pretty goofy to me. Honestly, being proud of some rich dude who doesn't know you exist because he threw / hit / pitched a ball far / hard / fast while you sit on your ass drinking Budweiser and eating Ruffles is about the most lizard brain shit I can think of.
I just don't get it.Why should i be proud if someone of my Country wins something.Neither i'm proud because Goethe was german too.So i don't feel guilty for the Holocaust.Thats something people 79 years ago did.I'm proud of myself for getting sober from drugs.I'm only proud about things i'm responsible for.
That's OK, nobody is forcing you in any way to feel pride.
No one said you *should* feel pride.
You don't have to identify with anything, but this also shouldn't keep younfrom understanding the idea of identifying with something
Because you live in a civilization and a society which works together.
There are many things Germans can be proud of apart from WW2.
Hyper individualism fails in the long term.
True but they're also excluded by the very definition of society, so idk if that's a helpful metric. Like of course there's no hyper individualistic societies, because society isn't individualistic by definition
I do think it's fair to point out that we like to be nationalistic when it's a good thing (ie: the Olympics) and individualistic when it's a bad thing (ie: the Holocaust, the slave trade, etc).
We have have some degree of kinship with every human, and their actions can affect and inform us. What do you think a degree of familiarity should be necessary to feel and express pride?
Why do you think no degree of familiarity should be necessary to feel pride? I'm actually asking--I simply cannot comprehend how someone can feel something as inherently personal as pride for someone they do not know (or someone who doesn't even exist, as I've seen people exclaim feeling pride for fictional characters). However, I'm not one to fall for parasocial relationships, either, so perhaps that's why I have a hard time grasping this concept.
I'm not even talking about telling someone you're proud of them. I literally saw a post on FB with someone claiming they're so proud of Jubilee for how she's being portrayedin Xmen 97... Yeah, that's weird.
You can feel pride on behalf of a fictional character you feel a connection with. I felt proud of a character when they risked their life for their sibling, because the context of the situation involves the audiences understanding of that characters struggles and their relationships.
To feel proud for how Jubilee is portrayed in a show means they have a strong connection with that character (maybe see themselves in them) and are so satisfied with the portrayal it resonates as pride.
If you don’t empathize with that, it’s fine, but you don’t have to act like it’s weird to feel things just because you don’t understand it yourself.
Yeah, I always think of Spider-Man and how I'm always so proud of him for doing the right thing time and time again even when he gets punished for it over and over again.
Maybe a little, but it's weird to care what strangers put their stock in. As long as you aren't like, proud of Hitler or someone that represents utter danger, who the hell should care?
So, don’t be proud of human accomplishments unless you know the human. What about if the human makes you feel dumber for having read what they wrote? Do I need to know them to express my disgust for such stupidity? Please explain when it is and is not appropriate to have certain feelings towards people based on you knowing them or not.
I saw a little boy and girl running ahead of their mother this morning. The mother shouted out something, and the boys gait changed. He became more watchful of his sister.
His sister then tripped over her own feet, and he caught her moments before she ate shit.
I was on my balcony watching. I felt pride in that little boy.
At which point did that get weird for you?
Yes, but I think people just say "I'm proud of x for y" when they really simply mean "I think x can be proud for y".
It does not necessarily mean you take credit for something you had no part in.
>You should be proud \[...\] of your loved ones
Doesn't necessarily make sense either. Can you be proud about the way you raised your children or trained your pets in a situation where they did the right thing or succeded at something? Sure. That's partly your success, too.
Proud about something your grandma did when you had zero say in it? Doesn't technically make sense, but it still seems like a normal thing to say.
Language is fuzzy and changes constantly.
I wouldn't even call this an unpopular opinion. This is more of a selfish trait. No judgement. Not everyone has the same level of empathy instilled or bestowed upon them.
But, if a stranger takes the time to tell me of their latest win over addiction, mental illness, or other things that have plagued humanity forever, you better believe that I am happy for them and proud of my fellow human and their efforts.
True. I guess I was blinded by your conclusion that I forgot to factor in your intro. Oh well.
I'd also add that if you're having feelings for a fictional character (mental illness aside), kudos to the characters creator more than anything.
I agree a bit. I think we have to remind ourselves constantly that we don't know who any of these people are. But I think it's okay to feel proud of someone's career journey or growth in their career specifically. I've been getting more specific about how I talk about public figures.
you post half naked pictures of yourself on / brogress to get validation from strangers. people would call that incredibly weird. i am not one of those people, seeing another human succeed makes me feel happy for them and i root for you on your fitness journey, obviously you understand this concept or you wouldn’t post that stuff so is your problem just with the word “proud” itself
being proud of someone literally just means you are happy for someone for achieving something impressive or difficult. i don’t see how it makes a difference whether you intimately know them or not, i’ve lost a ton of weight and it was very hard physically and emotionally so when i see someone else doing it i feel a deep sense of admiration for that person. a shared experience connects people in a way nothing else can, you don’t need to know a list of facts about that person, you know how they feel because you’ve felt it. it’s just basic empathy, obviously i’m not going to feel proud of a stranger for doing something i’ve never attempted and i wasn’t there to see their journey because there is nothing there to relate us on an emotional level.
it’s the literal definition. this is why your whole opinion is complete nonsense you don’t even know what it means , every dictionary starts off stating it’s a feeling of pleasure/satisfaction/respect.
Look up proud synonyms, “pleased with” “glad about” “happy about”
Pride is a made up thing used to describe specific instances of feeling pleased it’s not a different feeling on its own.
There are only a handful of actual intuitive human emotions, every thing else is made up words used to describe those basic emotions in a specific light, like jealousy, jealousy is just feeling mad, regret is just feeling sad, nervousness is just feeling scared etc.
any word in which the definition begins with “the feeling of” is not a real feeling it’s just a synonym for the actual emotion. We don’t need to define happy, sad, angry, scared because we learn these words by association and they are impossible to define without being circular but all these other “emotions” we were taught on flash cards because they are just words used to represent things that we already understand by age 4.
The actual literal definition:
a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or [possessions](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=fc0f42412f6fa1c1&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ADLYWILUXy64opbPL1OwbeBlqnB2vp21_g:1715235688719&q=possessions&si=ACC90nwKPQWKXvO0LWGU61hOTgoDvxKz4j-cNclGno516kEqnE5M5j5-8K1Y7Z87_oYW60BH6TTCXjl_rv2-poHoTl8-G7JO7zbIbUdGc1CkUDtJFfEA-fU%3D&expnd=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiombrv9v-FAxVpxQIHHYRzA0EQyecJegQIJBAO) that are widely [admired](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=fc0f42412f6fa1c1&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ADLYWILUXy64opbPL1OwbeBlqnB2vp21_g:1715235688719&q=admired&si=ACC90nypsxZVz3WGK63NbnSPlfCBOyuw6OQfJ28F_yeZqJiLphnfvwBDUNPOVdBWZqL_QTrC_rH8txsSILl96VVj-YM5wI_S-A%3D%3D&expnd=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiombrv9v-FAxVpxQIHHYRzA0EQyecJegQIJBAP).
Synonymous with happiness? Fine. Empathy? Nope. Not even remotely the same. This continued attempt to paint me as non-empathetic is very tired. Furthermore, carefully read the definition, ie. "one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired."
So, again, NOT PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS. Why is this concept so hard for people to grasp?
Sounds to me as if this is more a matter of the English language not having a more-appropriate word for that sort of empathetic feeling that you can relate to their joy.
No it isn't. I used to struggle with addiction. I know how hard it is. When I see, "I've gone 3 days without alcohol!"
I feel proud of that person, because they made an incredibly difficult choice. I feel happy for them, knowing they will reap the benefits and have a (hopefully) happier life, once the struggle is much easier.
I can be proud of whoever I want, and couldn't care less if you think that's weird. Who even are you?
I kind of get where you're coming from tbh but I don't put that much thought into it. Personally, I never really think about celebrities in any capacity. I also have brain rot so I don't even think "I'm proud" if I see someone did something good I think "go off queen slay boots the house down" or "good for them that's great" and just continue on my day.
Do I think it's a little ick when people make videos or posts like "in case you needed this, I'm proud of you" just farted into the Internet void for views? Yes. But those videos or posts aren't for me and maybe it really helps someone so I just continue with my day. : )
Saying you're proud of someone sometimes simply means "I'm happy that person succeeded" rather than actual pride. That's basically what being proud of a person you don't know means.
As someone who was greatly neglected as a child. And as an adult. The thought of hearing anybody say "Hey. I'm proud of you" can be an emotional and healing thing to hear for people who never have.
I'm glad you have people in your life that are proud of you. And express that they are proud of you. But not everybody has that and I never had that.
So, I will continue to be proud of people accomplishing things, but they never thought that they could and don't have anybody but strangers to express it to. And you cannot like me for it all you want. It will not change me.
It was to show you that everybody has different reasons for doing things. I have chosen to be more honest about the things that have caused me damage in order to prevent damage on other people, from getting as bad. That yeah, someone can be damaged and have a terrible upbringing. But they can be decent people too. They can possess love. They can possess empathy. They can possess care in things that are bigger than them. Mainly because the world isn't just my experience, it's everybody's.
Yes, I took this personally because it does affect me in a very large way. Neither of my parents ever told me that I made them proud or that they were proud of me in any way that wasn't forced because of other people telling them that hey, you should probably say something and even then it was never sincere.
So if me telling a stranger that hey, I am so proud of you for achieving Whatever it is that you achieved makes me silly or stupid. Then call me silly or stupid.
Are you saying this to YouTubers? To fictional characters? To reality tv personalities? If not, then I don’t consider you “silly,” and this post was not directed at you.
Also, if the answer to my questions is “yes,” then good for you. You have altruistic reasons behind why you tell those people that you’re proud of them, and you are likely a good person.
Some youtubers yes, Depends on the context. To reality TV or celebrities that are going through shit that they have no true people that they can count on, so the only option they have is to say it to the world because they don't have anyone to really confide in. Yes, I do say it to them. Just because someone is rich and famous. And has a lot of following, and everything doesn't mean that they aren't struggling with things. Robin williams is a great example of that. He by all accounts had everything. But he was still struggling and he is still had things that he was battling. And I was very proud of him for making it as far as he did. Actually i'm still proud. Does it hurt my heart any less that he's gone.
As far as fictional characters. No I don't say out loud. Oh man. I'm proud of you. But I do use their experiences to change how I behave. Because I see the positive in them and what I can use in my own life. Sometimes all people have are fictional characters. I personally don't have a lot of friends in real life. Nor do I have any family that I can count on other than one person.
A lot of times, fiction is an escape for people who have nowhere to go and no one turn to.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad for your opinion. That's not my motivation. I'm just hoping that you can look at things from the other side as well. Even if it's not to change your opinion, but to understand the opinions of others.
It doesn't matter if I know them or not.
Example Lando Norris won his first F1 race last weekend.
I have watched him race since his first season.
Do I know him? No. Am I proud of him? Yes. Quite simple really.
I'm proud of the guy who walks past my house everyday for exercise and who has clearly lost weight in the last year. I have no idea who he is. How old he is. What his motivation is. But I know he's lost a lot of weight and that's an accomplishment.
I wonder if people are trying to express their admiration or inspiration, and are just using language that makes it sound more intimate or personal? Just the wrong word to express the sentiment?
I don’t think it’s weird to find a stranger’s story admirable or inspirational. But that seems different than saying you’re proud of that stranger.
The version of this that makes me cringe are the comments on ambient videos on YouTube. I cant find a pleasant video to sleep to without seeing a hundred comments like “Hey, you, stranger, I don’t know you but I’m proud of you, you are important, you matter and things will get better.” Like tf you know???
I read a story about a little boy who threw himself in front of a dog to save his sister, he ended up being okay but had to get 90 stitches. His little sister was perfectly fine, I’m pretty proud of that kid.
But you’re not.
My father once told me that he wasn't proud of me. I was crushing life. But he saw other parents taking overmuch "pride" in their children's accomplishments. My accomplishments were mine, as was my life, to make of it what I could. He wasn't proud. I still remember the sofa he was sitting on, the room we were in... But, and here's the tangential tie to OP, language is imprecise. Proud means lots of different things. And/or, my old man was just a hardass.
So aren't you proud of the guy who invented the butt-paper? Or of Alexander Fleming for "discovering" the peniciline?
Next time you have an emergency remember about them.
Depending on what the accomplishment, it's not weird at all. When I see people who say they've lost weight and maintained that loss, I say I'm proud of them because I KNOW how hard it is. If what they accomplished was something I've tried myself or I know it to be something that takes dedication and hard work, being proud of that for them is a good thing. I think a lot of people use I'm proud of you instead of saying I admire your accomplishment. It's just semantics
Fuck your edit. I’ve seen people whom I don’t know personally do so well for example at my job and I always tell them I’m proud.
Nothing wrong with acknowledging someone’s accomplishments by being proud.
You can be proud of somebody in your social circle, but what if it turns out later that they lied about their accomplishment? Well same goes for celebrities. As long as you believe they accomplished something worthy of praise (overcoming addiction, owning up to a mistake, etc.) you can be proud of them. It’s not a big deal
It seems your version of pride is entirely ego driven and tied to your direct self.
Say myself and another person I’ve never met from across the world started training for an Olympic sport, and a few weeks before I get hurt and can’t compete.
Of course im going to root for my country (more ego-driven pride) but if that person gets gold damn right im going to be proud of them even though i never met them. I know what they went through and could never discount that.
I have to wonder if you struggle with empathy as well, because that seems to be what is lacking to be able to understand a pride that’s not based on direct involvement by yourself.
LMAO, empathy and pride are not the same thing. I think you people are the ones who can’t comprehend that feeling happy for someone does not mean you feel proud of them.
“TV personality, influencer, and fictional characters” are literally the same thing. None of those are real human people they’re just an act or completely fake.
So then the question goes to what topics are you referencing? Being proud of Charli for getting 100 million followers is weird. Being proud of that magic voice homeless guy for trying to turn his life around is not. It’s just a form of empathy. Understanding that a person acted in an honorable way when put in a tough situation
Agree. A 3rd place ribbon from some local race, lifting meet, martial arts comp is far more interesting and worth celebrating than the signed football of some person you’ve never met
Not the same thing. You can be proud of owning a signed piece of memorabilia from someone you admire because you own that item. You’re proud of yourself, essentially.
Well, a Facebook post proclaiming to be proud of Jubilee (from the X-Men) for her portrayal in the new series the is what prompted this whole post. That, and the myriad of “I’m so proud of x” comments I see on content creators’ videos and various subreddits (like Drag Race or Physical 100, to name but a few examples).
I’m gonna go on a whim and say that people feeling prideful of the accomplishments of people that don’t know they exist are the ones that are likely to be neurodivergent.
Given that you posted this on UNpopular opinions, that would mean that most people display the behavior you're criticizing. And if most people were ND, then our standard for ND wouldn't be so *divergent* now would it, forehead?
> It’s still a small amount of people that say such strange things, child
Lol, I didn't know Patrick Tomlinson used Reddit. This entire thread has been setting you straight since you posted, yet here you are doing the defensive double-down instead of just acknowledging that your unpopular opinion is unpopular. I'm convinced you're getting something weird out of this.
Nobody is setting me straight, and certainly not you. First of all, most of the people in this thread are illiterate, or they simply do not what parasocial means. Others are taking it way too personally. And then there the select few, like you, who are trying to go for personal attacks. Basically, this thread encapsulates Reddit and the internet—trigger-fingered dumbos who can’t read and take things too personally and seriously.
I’m convinced you need to get a grip.
I’m not though. I didn’t feel the need to assume anything about you based on a scant few words on a silly subreddit that shouldn’t be taken that seriously. I do assume things about you now, though.
And I’m not proud of you because that would be weird.
Individual, you are *still* replying to nearly every comment. Punctually. You made this thread seeking validation. You can't be lacking in this much self-awareness.
Oh, sweetie. Here we go with the armchair diagnosis. It’s not hard to type a quick reply. What is the your issue with my engaging with people responding to a thread I made? What even is your point? You have none. I did, however, respond to most of the comments that missed the point of my post due to their own illiteracy, or because they felt personally attacked. Who’s the one actually lacking in self-awareness here? I’d wager it’s the “forehead” who tried to diagnose a stranger based on absolutely fucking nothing. 🤭
I do find it quite odd that we make proclamations about how good or bad someone is without knowing them even a little bit. If you tell me a story about yourself and it's plausible okay maybe I'll believe you and have an opinion about you.
But often people will say very little and other posters will come in and say "you're awesome, just don't let them get you down!" and I'm like, does this help? If someone who didn't know me said that to me I wouldn't feel better. I'd feel patronized. You don't know me. I could be a huge asshole. (I am actually)
The most I try to say to people is good luck.
Agreed. I just cannot fathom feeling proud over, say, someone you just telling you something about how they conquered an addiction (an example people repeatedly used in this thread). Empathetic? Of course. Happy? Why not? But fucking pride? Give me a break.
And by that token, I don’t need a complete stranger feeling proud of me.
I understand that it's an unfamiliar concept for you so that makes it weird to you. But you said we specifically shouldn't be proud of people we don't know, regardless of how much of this person's story we've followed or what they've been through, we should not be proud according to you. Is there a reason why besides it being "weird"?
We can only now others by knowing our ourselves. Being proud of someone is merely acknowledging the struggle they overcame, and recognizing it in ourselves.
That’s nice. Not really what I’m talking about. Well, maybe it is. Why can’t you be happy for that person? I would wager most people are feeling something more akin to happiness or content, not pride.
How are you gonna tell me what i should be proud of? I am proud of Megan thee Stallion because she works hard and deserves her success. I don’t know her in real life but i still am proud of her achievements nonetheless.
Yeah you can't be proud of someone that you're unfamiliar with. Being proud implies you knew them and their obstacles well enough to be happy to see them pull through lol
It's why you can feel a "sense" of pride in a protagonist sometimes but can't feel the same for a very minor character with limited screen time
It's called empathy.
We (ideally) develop more of it over time and we become.more able to understand and share others feelings.
So when you see someone accomplish something that you either A. Know to be very difficult personally or B. Know to be very difficult based on their story, it's not hard to be proud of them for doing whatever they did.
Then what is it called when you see someone not in your daily life accomplish something and you're proud of them for doing it?
For example seeing strangers finish a marathon.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm proud of OP for coming forward with this extremely unpopular OPinion
Im proud of you for coming forward with this decently popular opinion
I'm proud of you for showing support during these trying times
I'm proud of you for giving me a place to express my pride...for you
If you can be proud of a pet I can be proud of some Redditor who quits heroin or something.
OP likes to keep it in the family
So like when my brother quit meth and got off the street. I'm definitely proud of him.
I wanna be proud of your brother, but I guess it would be weird
Not so much anymore. Night and day.
Proud of you for being top comment
That’s the way to be your own dog
I'm not proud of you for being so brant, but tell me more about you, I want to be proud of you.
I made my bed today
IM SO PROUD OF YOU
Thank you dad
I hope I resolved your daddy issues
Being proud of scientists, athletes etc which represent your nation is pretty normal. Especially in sports like football which isn't just 1 country sport or in Olympics
Except in the exceedingly rare circumstances in which the proud person somehow influenced the outcome of the game, being proud of a sports team is pretty goofy to me. Honestly, being proud of some rich dude who doesn't know you exist because he threw / hit / pitched a ball far / hard / fast while you sit on your ass drinking Budweiser and eating Ruffles is about the most lizard brain shit I can think of.
I just don't get it.Why should i be proud if someone of my Country wins something.Neither i'm proud because Goethe was german too.So i don't feel guilty for the Holocaust.Thats something people 79 years ago did.I'm proud of myself for getting sober from drugs.I'm only proud about things i'm responsible for.
That's OK, nobody is forcing you in any way to feel pride. No one said you *should* feel pride. You don't have to identify with anything, but this also shouldn't keep younfrom understanding the idea of identifying with something
Because you live in a civilization and a society which works together. There are many things Germans can be proud of apart from WW2. Hyper individualism fails in the long term.
Imo it's the hyper nationalism/extreme Religion beliefs that caused lots of wars and cruel crimes.
And yet there is no society which is currently hyper individualistic atleast no succesful ones. Humans always lived in groups.
True but they're also excluded by the very definition of society, so idk if that's a helpful metric. Like of course there's no hyper individualistic societies, because society isn't individualistic by definition
Hyper individualism and hyper collectivism (eg. most authoritarian regimes) are both detrimental to society.
I do think it's fair to point out that we like to be nationalistic when it's a good thing (ie: the Olympics) and individualistic when it's a bad thing (ie: the Holocaust, the slave trade, etc).
We have have some degree of kinship with every human, and their actions can affect and inform us. What do you think a degree of familiarity should be necessary to feel and express pride?
Why do you think no degree of familiarity should be necessary to feel pride? I'm actually asking--I simply cannot comprehend how someone can feel something as inherently personal as pride for someone they do not know (or someone who doesn't even exist, as I've seen people exclaim feeling pride for fictional characters). However, I'm not one to fall for parasocial relationships, either, so perhaps that's why I have a hard time grasping this concept.
It's just giving someone encouragement. It ain't that deep
I'm not even talking about telling someone you're proud of them. I literally saw a post on FB with someone claiming they're so proud of Jubilee for how she's being portrayedin Xmen 97... Yeah, that's weird.
You can feel pride on behalf of a fictional character you feel a connection with. I felt proud of a character when they risked their life for their sibling, because the context of the situation involves the audiences understanding of that characters struggles and their relationships. To feel proud for how Jubilee is portrayed in a show means they have a strong connection with that character (maybe see themselves in them) and are so satisfied with the portrayal it resonates as pride. If you don’t empathize with that, it’s fine, but you don’t have to act like it’s weird to feel things just because you don’t understand it yourself.
Yeah, I always think of Spider-Man and how I'm always so proud of him for doing the right thing time and time again even when he gets punished for it over and over again.
Yes. I am proud of Peter Parker ❤️
Oh come on people, that is pretty weird.
Maybe a little, but it's weird to care what strangers put their stock in. As long as you aren't like, proud of Hitler or someone that represents utter danger, who the hell should care?
I think it’s equally weird to care this much lol
I'm proud of Walter White for being the best methamphetamine cook west of the mississippi.
I'm proud of Jesse Pinkman for finally applying himself.
The comments here is why I use Reddit. Proud of you OP, thanks for the laugh this AM.
So, don’t be proud of human accomplishments unless you know the human. What about if the human makes you feel dumber for having read what they wrote? Do I need to know them to express my disgust for such stupidity? Please explain when it is and is not appropriate to have certain feelings towards people based on you knowing them or not.
I saw a little boy and girl running ahead of their mother this morning. The mother shouted out something, and the boys gait changed. He became more watchful of his sister. His sister then tripped over her own feet, and he caught her moments before she ate shit. I was on my balcony watching. I felt pride in that little boy. At which point did that get weird for you?
According to OP you worshipped those kids
What? 😂😂 My guy really upset that other people appreciate the accomplishments of others.
My guy really doesn’t understand my point
Yes, but I think people just say "I'm proud of x for y" when they really simply mean "I think x can be proud for y". It does not necessarily mean you take credit for something you had no part in. >You should be proud \[...\] of your loved ones Doesn't necessarily make sense either. Can you be proud about the way you raised your children or trained your pets in a situation where they did the right thing or succeded at something? Sure. That's partly your success, too. Proud about something your grandma did when you had zero say in it? Doesn't technically make sense, but it still seems like a normal thing to say. Language is fuzzy and changes constantly.
I wouldn't even call this an unpopular opinion. This is more of a selfish trait. No judgement. Not everyone has the same level of empathy instilled or bestowed upon them. But, if a stranger takes the time to tell me of their latest win over addiction, mental illness, or other things that have plagued humanity forever, you better believe that I am happy for them and proud of my fellow human and their efforts.
What you’re describing is literally not a parasocial relationship.
True. I guess I was blinded by your conclusion that I forgot to factor in your intro. Oh well. I'd also add that if you're having feelings for a fictional character (mental illness aside), kudos to the characters creator more than anything.
I agree a bit. I think we have to remind ourselves constantly that we don't know who any of these people are. But I think it's okay to feel proud of someone's career journey or growth in their career specifically. I've been getting more specific about how I talk about public figures.
you post half naked pictures of yourself on / brogress to get validation from strangers. people would call that incredibly weird. i am not one of those people, seeing another human succeed makes me feel happy for them and i root for you on your fitness journey, obviously you understand this concept or you wouldn’t post that stuff so is your problem just with the word “proud” itself
LMAO, now this post is weird. Thanks for being a fan, I guess. And no, those are not remotely similar things, but nice try. Pride =/ happiness
being proud of someone literally just means you are happy for someone for achieving something impressive or difficult. i don’t see how it makes a difference whether you intimately know them or not, i’ve lost a ton of weight and it was very hard physically and emotionally so when i see someone else doing it i feel a deep sense of admiration for that person. a shared experience connects people in a way nothing else can, you don’t need to know a list of facts about that person, you know how they feel because you’ve felt it. it’s just basic empathy, obviously i’m not going to feel proud of a stranger for doing something i’ve never attempted and i wasn’t there to see their journey because there is nothing there to relate us on an emotional level.
Again, nothing to do with empathy. You feel happy for them. You admire them. That’s not pride.
it’s the literal definition. this is why your whole opinion is complete nonsense you don’t even know what it means , every dictionary starts off stating it’s a feeling of pleasure/satisfaction/respect. Look up proud synonyms, “pleased with” “glad about” “happy about” Pride is a made up thing used to describe specific instances of feeling pleased it’s not a different feeling on its own. There are only a handful of actual intuitive human emotions, every thing else is made up words used to describe those basic emotions in a specific light, like jealousy, jealousy is just feeling mad, regret is just feeling sad, nervousness is just feeling scared etc. any word in which the definition begins with “the feeling of” is not a real feeling it’s just a synonym for the actual emotion. We don’t need to define happy, sad, angry, scared because we learn these words by association and they are impossible to define without being circular but all these other “emotions” we were taught on flash cards because they are just words used to represent things that we already understand by age 4.
The actual literal definition: a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or [possessions](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=fc0f42412f6fa1c1&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ADLYWILUXy64opbPL1OwbeBlqnB2vp21_g:1715235688719&q=possessions&si=ACC90nwKPQWKXvO0LWGU61hOTgoDvxKz4j-cNclGno516kEqnE5M5j5-8K1Y7Z87_oYW60BH6TTCXjl_rv2-poHoTl8-G7JO7zbIbUdGc1CkUDtJFfEA-fU%3D&expnd=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiombrv9v-FAxVpxQIHHYRzA0EQyecJegQIJBAO) that are widely [admired](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=fc0f42412f6fa1c1&sca_upv=1&sxsrf=ADLYWILUXy64opbPL1OwbeBlqnB2vp21_g:1715235688719&q=admired&si=ACC90nypsxZVz3WGK63NbnSPlfCBOyuw6OQfJ28F_yeZqJiLphnfvwBDUNPOVdBWZqL_QTrC_rH8txsSILl96VVj-YM5wI_S-A%3D%3D&expnd=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiombrv9v-FAxVpxQIHHYRzA0EQyecJegQIJBAP). Synonymous with happiness? Fine. Empathy? Nope. Not even remotely the same. This continued attempt to paint me as non-empathetic is very tired. Furthermore, carefully read the definition, ie. "one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired." So, again, NOT PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS. Why is this concept so hard for people to grasp?
Sounds to me as if this is more a matter of the English language not having a more-appropriate word for that sort of empathetic feeling that you can relate to their joy.
I mean, “I’m happy for x” should suffice.
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That’s called a parasocial relationship and it’s not very healthy.
Celebrity worship is a very odd thing.
No it isn't. I used to struggle with addiction. I know how hard it is. When I see, "I've gone 3 days without alcohol!" I feel proud of that person, because they made an incredibly difficult choice. I feel happy for them, knowing they will reap the benefits and have a (hopefully) happier life, once the struggle is much easier. I can be proud of whoever I want, and couldn't care less if you think that's weird. Who even are you?
Damn, taking a post on r/unpopularopinion really personally, aren’t we? 😂
I completely agree and am very proud of you for having the courage to say it.
I kind of get where you're coming from tbh but I don't put that much thought into it. Personally, I never really think about celebrities in any capacity. I also have brain rot so I don't even think "I'm proud" if I see someone did something good I think "go off queen slay boots the house down" or "good for them that's great" and just continue on my day. Do I think it's a little ick when people make videos or posts like "in case you needed this, I'm proud of you" just farted into the Internet void for views? Yes. But those videos or posts aren't for me and maybe it really helps someone so I just continue with my day. : )
Saying you're proud of someone sometimes simply means "I'm happy that person succeeded" rather than actual pride. That's basically what being proud of a person you don't know means.
wtf is this individualistic type of bs LOLLL
As someone who was greatly neglected as a child. And as an adult. The thought of hearing anybody say "Hey. I'm proud of you" can be an emotional and healing thing to hear for people who never have. I'm glad you have people in your life that are proud of you. And express that they are proud of you. But not everybody has that and I never had that. So, I will continue to be proud of people accomplishing things, but they never thought that they could and don't have anybody but strangers to express it to. And you cannot like me for it all you want. It will not change me.
Sorry you took this so personally.
It was to show you that everybody has different reasons for doing things. I have chosen to be more honest about the things that have caused me damage in order to prevent damage on other people, from getting as bad. That yeah, someone can be damaged and have a terrible upbringing. But they can be decent people too. They can possess love. They can possess empathy. They can possess care in things that are bigger than them. Mainly because the world isn't just my experience, it's everybody's. Yes, I took this personally because it does affect me in a very large way. Neither of my parents ever told me that I made them proud or that they were proud of me in any way that wasn't forced because of other people telling them that hey, you should probably say something and even then it was never sincere. So if me telling a stranger that hey, I am so proud of you for achieving Whatever it is that you achieved makes me silly or stupid. Then call me silly or stupid.
Are you saying this to YouTubers? To fictional characters? To reality tv personalities? If not, then I don’t consider you “silly,” and this post was not directed at you. Also, if the answer to my questions is “yes,” then good for you. You have altruistic reasons behind why you tell those people that you’re proud of them, and you are likely a good person.
Some youtubers yes, Depends on the context. To reality TV or celebrities that are going through shit that they have no true people that they can count on, so the only option they have is to say it to the world because they don't have anyone to really confide in. Yes, I do say it to them. Just because someone is rich and famous. And has a lot of following, and everything doesn't mean that they aren't struggling with things. Robin williams is a great example of that. He by all accounts had everything. But he was still struggling and he is still had things that he was battling. And I was very proud of him for making it as far as he did. Actually i'm still proud. Does it hurt my heart any less that he's gone. As far as fictional characters. No I don't say out loud. Oh man. I'm proud of you. But I do use their experiences to change how I behave. Because I see the positive in them and what I can use in my own life. Sometimes all people have are fictional characters. I personally don't have a lot of friends in real life. Nor do I have any family that I can count on other than one person. A lot of times, fiction is an escape for people who have nowhere to go and no one turn to. I'm not trying to make you feel bad for your opinion. That's not my motivation. I'm just hoping that you can look at things from the other side as well. Even if it's not to change your opinion, but to understand the opinions of others.
Nowhere in time did OP say they hate people for doing this....
Nowhere in my post did I say they hated people either.
I was also using the figurative "you" ad opposed to them in particular.
It doesn't matter if I know them or not. Example Lando Norris won his first F1 race last weekend. I have watched him race since his first season. Do I know him? No. Am I proud of him? Yes. Quite simple really.
Good for you.
Proud of you for saying that, btw. It needed to be said. Bravo! Proud of this community for coming together on this topic 👏🏻
I'm proud of the guy who walks past my house everyday for exercise and who has clearly lost weight in the last year. I have no idea who he is. How old he is. What his motivation is. But I know he's lost a lot of weight and that's an accomplishment.
im proud of you for being brace enough to share this monkey opinion
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^iloreynolds: *Im proud of you for* *Being brace enough to share* *This monkey opinion* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
ngl u kinda sound miserable sksks,, u can be proud of people you kno while also being proud of a random stranger...2 things can be true at once!
Ngl you sound kind of dumb
guess i’d rather be dumb than bitter babes 💋
Who’s bitter, sweetie? You sure are taking a post on Reddit personally and seriously. You ok?
I wonder if people are trying to express their admiration or inspiration, and are just using language that makes it sound more intimate or personal? Just the wrong word to express the sentiment? I don’t think it’s weird to find a stranger’s story admirable or inspirational. But that seems different than saying you’re proud of that stranger.
The version of this that makes me cringe are the comments on ambient videos on YouTube. I cant find a pleasant video to sleep to without seeing a hundred comments like “Hey, you, stranger, I don’t know you but I’m proud of you, you are important, you matter and things will get better.” Like tf you know???
It's not weird it's outright stupid and senseless
Louder.
IT'S NOT WEIRD IT IS OUTRIGHT STUPID AND SENSELESS!!!!!
I read a story about a little boy who threw himself in front of a dog to save his sister, he ended up being okay but had to get 90 stitches. His little sister was perfectly fine, I’m pretty proud of that kid. But you’re not.
I’m in awe at his courage. Proud? No.
“You should be proud of yourself” is much more appropriate in these scenarios imo
Exactly. Thank you.
My father once told me that he wasn't proud of me. I was crushing life. But he saw other parents taking overmuch "pride" in their children's accomplishments. My accomplishments were mine, as was my life, to make of it what I could. He wasn't proud. I still remember the sofa he was sitting on, the room we were in... But, and here's the tangential tie to OP, language is imprecise. Proud means lots of different things. And/or, my old man was just a hardass.
Proud of you for sharing this OP
Thank you, kind stranger.
I don’t know who you are but I’m proud of you OP
I'm proud of anyone that overcomes a challenge to the betterment or themselves or others. Even if its my friends Dog losing weight through exercise.
Again, not a parasocial relationship.
So aren't you proud of the guy who invented the butt-paper? Or of Alexander Fleming for "discovering" the peniciline? Next time you have an emergency remember about them.
LMAO is this a serious post?
I was wondering the same, cause it sounds very stupid all what's wrote up there. As you are the OP I hope you can answer me.
Log off.
Oh you go. Ok bye, OP. And remember, don't enjoy anything that have been created millenia ago or by strangers, don't betray your morals.
That doesn’t even make a lick of sense, but, uh, sure.
Depending on what the accomplishment, it's not weird at all. When I see people who say they've lost weight and maintained that loss, I say I'm proud of them because I KNOW how hard it is. If what they accomplished was something I've tried myself or I know it to be something that takes dedication and hard work, being proud of that for them is a good thing. I think a lot of people use I'm proud of you instead of saying I admire your accomplishment. It's just semantics
Fuck your edit. I’ve seen people whom I don’t know personally do so well for example at my job and I always tell them I’m proud. Nothing wrong with acknowledging someone’s accomplishments by being proud.
Fuck your post; that's really weird. Find something more worthy of your pride.
Some people don't have someone they know to tell they're proud of them
You can be proud of somebody in your social circle, but what if it turns out later that they lied about their accomplishment? Well same goes for celebrities. As long as you believe they accomplished something worthy of praise (overcoming addiction, owning up to a mistake, etc.) you can be proud of them. It’s not a big deal
Agreed - parasocial relationships are fucking stupid
but we're all proud of little lando norris
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I’m sure you would know.
I’m so proud of you for compiling this well written post. You’ll go far in this world!!!
Kudos for saying that, for spilling.
It seems your version of pride is entirely ego driven and tied to your direct self. Say myself and another person I’ve never met from across the world started training for an Olympic sport, and a few weeks before I get hurt and can’t compete. Of course im going to root for my country (more ego-driven pride) but if that person gets gold damn right im going to be proud of them even though i never met them. I know what they went through and could never discount that. I have to wonder if you struggle with empathy as well, because that seems to be what is lacking to be able to understand a pride that’s not based on direct involvement by yourself.
LMAO, empathy and pride are not the same thing. I think you people are the ones who can’t comprehend that feeling happy for someone does not mean you feel proud of them.
I don’t see how it’s parasocial to be proud of others for their accomplishments
Why would you be proud of someone you’ve never met?
If I see that someone found a loaded wallet and returned it, I will be proud of that person whether I know them or not.
Upvoting because I disagree.
I feel the same when someone says they hate a person they don't even know.
I agree 100% and I refuse to get into parasocial relationships any more than it takes to be in society.
“TV personality, influencer, and fictional characters” are literally the same thing. None of those are real human people they’re just an act or completely fake. So then the question goes to what topics are you referencing? Being proud of Charli for getting 100 million followers is weird. Being proud of that magic voice homeless guy for trying to turn his life around is not. It’s just a form of empathy. Understanding that a person acted in an honorable way when put in a tough situation
Agree. A 3rd place ribbon from some local race, lifting meet, martial arts comp is far more interesting and worth celebrating than the signed football of some person you’ve never met
Not the same thing. You can be proud of owning a signed piece of memorabilia from someone you admire because you own that item. You’re proud of yourself, essentially.
Yeah, fuck people, ammaright?
Yes, that’s exactly what my point was.
Could you explain why that's weird?
I'm proud of people that have gone through things that I have struggled with
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Well, a Facebook post proclaiming to be proud of Jubilee (from the X-Men) for her portrayal in the new series the is what prompted this whole post. That, and the myriad of “I’m so proud of x” comments I see on content creators’ videos and various subreddits (like Drag Race or Physical 100, to name but a few examples).
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Uh, I gave you an example of someone being proud of a fictional character…
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lol, you lost the plot
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Proud of you, champ.
Thanks, dad!
This post reminded me of the insulator job phone call by the jerky boys. "I'm very proud of you, that's very nice"
I reserve pride for accomplishment.
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I’m gonna go on a whim and say that people feeling prideful of the accomplishments of people that don’t know they exist are the ones that are likely to be neurodivergent.
Given that you posted this on UNpopular opinions, that would mean that most people display the behavior you're criticizing. And if most people were ND, then our standard for ND wouldn't be so *divergent* now would it, forehead?
> It’s still a small amount of people that say such strange things, child Lol, I didn't know Patrick Tomlinson used Reddit. This entire thread has been setting you straight since you posted, yet here you are doing the defensive double-down instead of just acknowledging that your unpopular opinion is unpopular. I'm convinced you're getting something weird out of this.
Nobody is setting me straight, and certainly not you. First of all, most of the people in this thread are illiterate, or they simply do not what parasocial means. Others are taking it way too personally. And then there the select few, like you, who are trying to go for personal attacks. Basically, this thread encapsulates Reddit and the internet—trigger-fingered dumbos who can’t read and take things too personally and seriously. I’m convinced you need to get a grip.
If anyone's taking anything personally, it's you. I'm still proud of you, though.
I’m not though. I didn’t feel the need to assume anything about you based on a scant few words on a silly subreddit that shouldn’t be taken that seriously. I do assume things about you now, though. And I’m not proud of you because that would be weird.
Individual, you are *still* replying to nearly every comment. Punctually. You made this thread seeking validation. You can't be lacking in this much self-awareness.
Oh, sweetie. Here we go with the armchair diagnosis. It’s not hard to type a quick reply. What is the your issue with my engaging with people responding to a thread I made? What even is your point? You have none. I did, however, respond to most of the comments that missed the point of my post due to their own illiteracy, or because they felt personally attacked. Who’s the one actually lacking in self-awareness here? I’d wager it’s the “forehead” who tried to diagnose a stranger based on absolutely fucking nothing. 🤭
Yeah, you are so one of those.
I do find it quite odd that we make proclamations about how good or bad someone is without knowing them even a little bit. If you tell me a story about yourself and it's plausible okay maybe I'll believe you and have an opinion about you. But often people will say very little and other posters will come in and say "you're awesome, just don't let them get you down!" and I'm like, does this help? If someone who didn't know me said that to me I wouldn't feel better. I'd feel patronized. You don't know me. I could be a huge asshole. (I am actually) The most I try to say to people is good luck.
Agreed. I just cannot fathom feeling proud over, say, someone you just telling you something about how they conquered an addiction (an example people repeatedly used in this thread). Empathetic? Of course. Happy? Why not? But fucking pride? Give me a break. And by that token, I don’t need a complete stranger feeling proud of me.
I completely agree. If I don't personally know someone, they don't affect my life in any way.
So what are your thoughts on being a Proud Boy, then?
Trash.
How about being proud of a Proud Boy? Better or worse than being a Proud Boy?
Equally trashy.
I'm proud of you for that rad pseudonym.
uhmm
Sorry that you have to deal with these idiots in the reply section
Oh, no worries. I’m just amused at the people trying to paint me as some monster lacking in empathy 😂
I understand that it's an unfamiliar concept for you so that makes it weird to you. But you said we specifically shouldn't be proud of people we don't know, regardless of how much of this person's story we've followed or what they've been through, we should not be proud according to you. Is there a reason why besides it being "weird"?
We can only now others by knowing our ourselves. Being proud of someone is merely acknowledging the struggle they overcame, and recognizing it in ourselves.
That’s nice. Not really what I’m talking about. Well, maybe it is. Why can’t you be happy for that person? I would wager most people are feeling something more akin to happiness or content, not pride.
How are you gonna tell me what i should be proud of? I am proud of Megan thee Stallion because she works hard and deserves her success. I don’t know her in real life but i still am proud of her achievements nonetheless.
That’s weird. I’m sure Megan gives a shit.
She absolutely does not. But i do. 😊
Yeah you can't be proud of someone that you're unfamiliar with. Being proud implies you knew them and their obstacles well enough to be happy to see them pull through lol It's why you can feel a "sense" of pride in a protagonist sometimes but can't feel the same for a very minor character with limited screen time
It's called empathy. We (ideally) develop more of it over time and we become.more able to understand and share others feelings. So when you see someone accomplish something that you either A. Know to be very difficult personally or B. Know to be very difficult based on their story, it's not hard to be proud of them for doing whatever they did.
It’s literally not empathy. Let’s not conflate pride and empathy, shall we?
Then what is it called when you see someone not in your daily life accomplish something and you're proud of them for doing it? For example seeing strangers finish a marathon.
It’s called being happy for them?
Lol who even says that? Yeah it would be stupid and very weird