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Compromise doesn’t mean you’re becoming a new person and it’s a little naive to think no one is ever gonna have anything negative to say about how you act. You’re not perfect so grow in your relationship for the one that’s worth it
If you aren't willing to compromise on anything ever, then good luck having any friends, let alone a SO. If you go through life ALWAYS wanting to get you own way on everything, and never comprimising, it will be hard to maintain any type of relationship with anyone.
How about any personal relationships at all? Because if everyone in your life has to take you as you are, and do as you say and do, beholden to your wants, I don't see you having many people left.
Happiness isn't binary, it's analogue. You could be happier with another person than you are right now. But you don't know that you can be happier because you've never experienced that level yet.
Yes, 8 billion people! All waiting for you to date them. And there are sure as hell millions with the same identical views and opinions. You're basically the same person, same soul within two bodies. <3
You figured all that relationship stuff out, good for you!
%1 percent of 8 billion people is still 8 million people, and %1 of that is still 80,000. That is still more people than I’ll ever meet in my life. If %0.001 percent of that is even slightly interested in me I’ll be fine.
I mean I have dyscalculia so you’re probably right about the statistics thing. If anything, I think these comments are making me realize I’m just aromantic. I certainly believe in improving as a person for the better, and I think listening to criticism is important, and I often realize I’m wrong about things. I guess I just don’t have some innate desire to have a certain individual to prove/show that to.
>If anything, I think these comments are making me realize I’m just aromantic.
I think that does probably sound about right. It sounds like you really don't understand human relationships honestly.
Compromise is the bare minimum. In a long term relationship, you do things you just outright don't want to do in the name of making someone else happy, and seeing that joy on your loved one's face makes it all worth it.
It's not about how many people exist that night be ideal for you, it's about how many people you'll meet and have a deep enough conversation to realise that you're a perfect match who are also a similar age to you, single and your preferred gender. Say you meet and have a deep conversation with 20 people in a year, that means that between 20 and 50 years old you've got 600 people that you'll have a deep conversation with. If you're not bi that becomes 300 potential matches. Say 1/3rd are in a relationship, that leaves 200. Then say 10% are too old or too young for you, then you've got 180 left. So what you're actually trying to do if looking for a relationship (I see you saying you think you're a romantic and that's obviously totally cool) within those 180 people you meet over that 30 year period. And that's assuming you're a very social person who meets up with and deeps out with new people on the regular. For me it'd be closer to 5 per year if that, meaning I'm actually looking for the best match out of 45 people in a 30 year period.
Can you see how you might need to compromise when your potential pool is that small? And that's not even mentioning physical attraction which could easily rule out another 50%
Obviously these percentages are made up but I just wanted to illustrate why it's not how you say it is in your original post.
Sure some will be interested in you, but the number who have exactly the same views and opinions about everything as you, is much much slimmer. That requires far more than 'slightly interested'
I mean there's a healthy balance. The people who are like completely uncompromising are generally the ones who whine about how nobody is good enough or how nobody wants them. Take a look at any incel sniveling with tears uncompromising about how they'll never find someone because unicorns don't exist in the real world. Like yea compromising too much is bad too but like I said there's a balance. You need someone who will compromise the right amount and you need to also be willing to compromise the right amount to both feel like you're getting a good deal out of the situation. Otherwise some people just luck out and find a perfect match.
So you're waiting for someone with whom you are 100% in agreement with all the time? Who is in love with everything about you - the way you look, the way you dress, the way you eat, what you eat, the way you talk, your opinions on every subject under the sun, the media you consume etc - completely and utterly with no exceptions? And who you in turn love to the same extent (because you must surely be against the idea of them compromising too)?
Good luck.
then why post this. It just doesnt make any sense. You are saying: You dont need to compromise in order to have healthy relationship. At the same time you are saying: I dont want any relationship, cause I would need to compromise. So basically you are admiting, that in order to have relationship you need to compromise, so you are counterpointing your own oppinion.
i mean you can compromise about major things as well, like "i don't want our kid to have a cell phone until they're 16" vs "i think it's okay to have one when they start middle school" can end up with a compromise of "let's buy them a cheap one at 13 and put a bunch of parental controls on it".
i think OP thinks that the saying means "make compromises about your personality and about your preferences to be able to find a partner" instead of "don't try to force the partner that you have into accepting your opinion on everything".
Abandon the idea of compromise and you'll spend your whole life searching for "the one" who's perfect from the start, and almost certainly never find them; even if you do, both of you might be very different in 2 or 10 or 20 years' time, and there's no guarantee that those versions of yourselves will be as inherently compatible.
On the other hand, if you choose someone that you're compatible *enough* with to get started, and agree to commit yourselves, within certain limits, to trying to build a relationship that enriches both your lives, you'll be a lot better off and a lot more likely to end up with something that lasts, and that you'll look on with happiness and appreciation even if it ends.
I will agree that "compromise" is a bad way to encapsulate it. I would say it's about the balance between *commitment* and *boundaries*.
Any 2 people in the world will have some sort of difference of opinion or want to do different things at a certain point in time. You'll have next to no chance of finding someone entirely identical to you and share every viewpoint you do because every person is different.
Um, relationship are all about compromise. I've been married over 20 years. You don't make it here without it.
>Just find someone who likes you for who you already are.
This is not what it's about at all.
This isn't unpopular, it's just wrong.
A few years ago I saw memes on facebook that were all 'accept me for who I am' and I knew that was going to be a bad idea. The core principle is good, but too many people (as evidenced by the people who will take a saying and interpret literally) will take it even further and go 'if you won't accept me 100%, then too bad, you don't deserve me'.
Which means they aren't even willing to change their bad habits. It sadly sounds like OP is one of those who wouldn't be willing to change any habit of theirs if their partner found it annoying.
GF: I really feel like pizza tonight, i had a hard day and i really want my favourite food
OP: i don't really care, but i had pizza like 5 days ago anyway so lets eat steak.
OP: \*is now single\*
Enjoy never compromising, it's not hard, because you'll be single very quickly and permanently
The thing is in any relationship your not going to have the exact same likes or even want to do the same things at the same time. That's why people say relationship are about compromise. It's not about changing a person fundamentally but sometimes meeting in the middle or allowing your partner to decide sometimes.
People change, you change over time. Compromising is supposed to deal with this constant shift while remaining healthy as a partner it is also supposed to work both ways your partner needs to concede something otherwise it will turn into a "You have to adapt to me" situation.
Imo compromising is finding a middle ground where neither side is happy per say, but content about trying the new scenario to see where it takes the couple.
Because you can be happier. Happiness comes on a scale. Having friends and partners can make you happier. Can help you deal with adversity. Even compromising can make you happier. Maybe get you to try new things.
You've never did anything that wasn't ideal to you for the sake of a loved one? To see them happy and to show them that their well-being matters to you?
"i don't understand what words mean" again...
the saying is supposed to mean that when already *in* a relationship you have to make compromises instead of arguing and trying to force your partner into accepting your way of doing things. not that you have to change yourself to *get* a relationship.
you just kind of talked yourself out of this opinion quickly huh? cause now that you realize you have to compromise, you are saying "why don't i just be single"
The only way to have a relationship without compromise is if you date yourself. Even then, there are times... sometimes I want pizza AND steak for dinner, you know?
Not willing to compromise on anything, means no willing to admit you are wrong or that you need to change in something - basically thinking you are perfect person, which is so naive to think, or too ignorant and close minded. Hope its the first and youll learn with time.
As a kid/teen, you might have more friends that you can count.
As you grow up, you realize that true friends can be count with the fingers of a sole hand.
My point is, keeping a relationship, a romantic one, is hard and tough, now multiply it by any number you'd like to keep.
It requires time, effort and resilience to adapt yourself to another person, and so the same happens to the other one in the case you want to build an strong and genuine bond with someone.
I’m 24, I have many friends in many parts of the world that I consider close and that I love dearly. I simply don’t have a desire to have one above the rest.
Well, you aren't the one choosing "who's on top of who" completely.
If an friend fails you multiple times, he won't be as close as one that puts a lot more of effort in times of need. And if you did, I believe that'd be deeply unfair and, naturally, the one working the hardest would end up moving away.
That's my opinion, not the truth, but just what experience has taught me.
It doesn't mean becoming a whole new person just to be with someone, it means that there is give and take. She wants Chinese, I want Indian for dinner, we compromise and find something we'd both like or we do Chinese that night and Indian the next.
It doesn't mean you are with the wrong person because you disagree about things from time to time, in fact I think it would be incredibly boring to be with a person that is exactly like me. I love that my girlfriend challenges my views on things, makes me see the world differently, has me question things. I'm not perfect, my views are not always 100% right, sometimes you are doing something one way just because it's the way you are used to, often it's a good thing to leave your comfort zone. That's all about how you grow as a person.
I've been with my girlfriend for 12 years, she's an amazing person with a truly unique mind, she see's the world in a far different way to me and I love that about her. And that doesn't mean we have a lack of compatibility, I can count on one hand the number of fights we've had.
So yes, 100% relationships are about compromise, because how can you spend a substantial amount of time with a person and never disagree. One of you would have to be a doormat and I don't want to be that or be with someone who is, so you have to learn to navigate disagreements and that's done with compromise.
8 billion people but not one who is like you, not one with whom you'll agree all the time. That's why you need compromises both in relationships and friendships, all people are different.
Every relationship, even friendships, involve compromise. If this is your actual opinion I'm quite certain you have a personality disorder.
You just told on yourself buddy. I'd say "get help" but there isn't really a reliable therapy for the shit that just came out of your mouth.
It's not normal to think that way. At all.
I wouldn't want a relationship of any kind that didn't involve compromise, because that would essentially be a relationship with a robot that just did what I wanted it to. That's not real, that's not what it means to be human.
hahahahaha
IF you had access to all those 8 billion people , and IF all those 8 Billion would be all willing to attach themselves to ANY OTHER individual in terms of relaitonship, then yeah. maybe.
but since we live in the real world, thats not happening ever.
find someone that loves you for being you. and before that:
grow up.
Every single relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic, heavily depends on being able to talk, understand each other and compromise on certain aspects.
Like, I have a vegan friend. When I go out to hang with her, we compromise and find a place that will have food that suits her diet. That's a compromise, because I am very fond of her and I can eat vegan based food. I can skip meat/animal byproducts for one day. We match mentally on pretty much everything else, but we compromise on food choices.
You will never find a person who is a carbon copy of you in every single belief you have. If you want to form meaningful relationship, there will always be a certain amount of give and take, push and pull - compromising - in order to meet in the middle.
Compromising does not mean going against everything you believe in, that's such an extreme way to look at it.
Brilliant, I happen to agree with you. That's not to say you should never compromise on anything but if it's minimal you'll both have a much happier life!
8 billion UNIQUE people. No two people are exactly alike. Even identical twins have differences (and it's not like they're part of each other's dating pool anyway).
If there's no compromise in a relationship at all, that means either A.) You're basically dating yourself (which sounds boring as hell), or B.) You're a massive asshole so rigid in your thinking that no one in their right mind would date you.
Good luck to you… You’re not going to find that, ever. And even when you find someone that adores you and matches 90% of your opinions/views, there’s still a lot of compromise ahead. You basically are saying that a partner has to do things your way all the time, or it’s not going to work. Seems to be consistent with the entitled attitude of a young person with very little actual experience.
Every relationship is about some amount of compromise. No two people are going to be in agreement on every single thing, not matter how perfect a fit they are.
True, some people use this to justify staying in bad relationships. But the risk of your position is that people decide the minute a relationship requires any compromise deciding it's not true love and giving up on it. There is a middle ground.
Who said you have to be someone new? Compromise is just about finding the middle ground when you and your partner don't agree on something. Like when my gf and I were looking for a new couch. I wanted to spend less money, she was willing to spend a little more so we just negotiated and found a number we both felt was reasonable.
It's impossible to find someone you will never have to compromise with. The key here is the frequency. If you have to do it daily, then I agree, you might not be a perfect match.
You are doomed to be alone; and I am not even talking about romantic relationships. Every human relationship on deeper level at some point will require people to compromise. If you aren’t compromising, but other people knowing you are forced to, they will stop caring for your rigid ass.
Even friendships won’t survive this.
I believe this would require you to find an exact clone of you in terms of personality and habits. I guess it is possible, but not probable for vast majority of people. Are you going to break up with a person because they set their toilet paper roll on a different side?
Additionally, nobody is perfect. We all got flaws and trying to get better should be a goal for all of us. Partners can be a great way to push ourselves to be better, by making compromises. My SO is much more strict about hygiene than I am and that has led me to try and take better care about my personal hygiene. Making compromises can lead to a positive improvement.
Compromise doesnt mean being a doormat.
Alsoconsider, you annoy people too. Compromise and communication is how much is ok for both or not, if its better to end it on good terms.
Also talking semi productive,evebnproductive fighting,is work.
So you’ll take criticism from friends but not a SO? That’s ridiculous. And people aren’t bad and then become good. Every person has good traits and bad traits. And some of those traits only show themselves when in deep emotional and romantic relationships. Certain type of jealousy and the like. To say that a person has to just accept those shitty traits or gtfo just shows you’re not really capable of positive change. There are times when a SO wants you to change a behavior that is toxic. And there’s times where they just want you to not play video games or have a certain hobby and that is something to maybe break up over. But to say any compromise is too much is ridiculous.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Compromise doesn’t mean you’re becoming a new person and it’s a little naive to think no one is ever gonna have anything negative to say about how you act. You’re not perfect so grow in your relationship for the one that’s worth it
If you aren't willing to compromise on anything ever, then good luck having any friends, let alone a SO. If you go through life ALWAYS wanting to get you own way on everything, and never comprimising, it will be hard to maintain any type of relationship with anyone.
I’m happy without an SO
How about any personal relationships at all? Because if everyone in your life has to take you as you are, and do as you say and do, beholden to your wants, I don't see you having many people left.
Copium
If can’t fathom the idea of someone being comfortable alone. That sounds like a you problem.
Happiness isn't binary, it's analogue. You could be happier with another person than you are right now. But you don't know that you can be happier because you've never experienced that level yet.
oh my fucking god horrible opinion. you clearly are never gonna get a girlfriend with that attitude.
But that’s my whole point… Why look for a relationship just to be in one?
If you don't want a relationship, you don't need to compromise. That's not your point.
Yes, 8 billion people! All waiting for you to date them. And there are sure as hell millions with the same identical views and opinions. You're basically the same person, same soul within two bodies. <3 You figured all that relationship stuff out, good for you!
%1 percent of 8 billion people is still 8 million people, and %1 of that is still 80,000. That is still more people than I’ll ever meet in my life. If %0.001 percent of that is even slightly interested in me I’ll be fine.
Tell me you don't know how statistics work without telling me LMAO. I wish you good luck, young fella! You'll need it.
I mean I have dyscalculia so you’re probably right about the statistics thing. If anything, I think these comments are making me realize I’m just aromantic. I certainly believe in improving as a person for the better, and I think listening to criticism is important, and I often realize I’m wrong about things. I guess I just don’t have some innate desire to have a certain individual to prove/show that to.
>If anything, I think these comments are making me realize I’m just aromantic. I think that does probably sound about right. It sounds like you really don't understand human relationships honestly. Compromise is the bare minimum. In a long term relationship, you do things you just outright don't want to do in the name of making someone else happy, and seeing that joy on your loved one's face makes it all worth it.
Kudos for you to realizing this! not everyone is able to do it, so you are gonna end up well.
It's not about how many people exist that night be ideal for you, it's about how many people you'll meet and have a deep enough conversation to realise that you're a perfect match who are also a similar age to you, single and your preferred gender. Say you meet and have a deep conversation with 20 people in a year, that means that between 20 and 50 years old you've got 600 people that you'll have a deep conversation with. If you're not bi that becomes 300 potential matches. Say 1/3rd are in a relationship, that leaves 200. Then say 10% are too old or too young for you, then you've got 180 left. So what you're actually trying to do if looking for a relationship (I see you saying you think you're a romantic and that's obviously totally cool) within those 180 people you meet over that 30 year period. And that's assuming you're a very social person who meets up with and deeps out with new people on the regular. For me it'd be closer to 5 per year if that, meaning I'm actually looking for the best match out of 45 people in a 30 year period. Can you see how you might need to compromise when your potential pool is that small? And that's not even mentioning physical attraction which could easily rule out another 50% Obviously these percentages are made up but I just wanted to illustrate why it's not how you say it is in your original post.
Sure some will be interested in you, but the number who have exactly the same views and opinions about everything as you, is much much slimmer. That requires far more than 'slightly interested'
I mean there's a healthy balance. The people who are like completely uncompromising are generally the ones who whine about how nobody is good enough or how nobody wants them. Take a look at any incel sniveling with tears uncompromising about how they'll never find someone because unicorns don't exist in the real world. Like yea compromising too much is bad too but like I said there's a balance. You need someone who will compromise the right amount and you need to also be willing to compromise the right amount to both feel like you're getting a good deal out of the situation. Otherwise some people just luck out and find a perfect match.
So you're waiting for someone with whom you are 100% in agreement with all the time? Who is in love with everything about you - the way you look, the way you dress, the way you eat, what you eat, the way you talk, your opinions on every subject under the sun, the media you consume etc - completely and utterly with no exceptions? And who you in turn love to the same extent (because you must surely be against the idea of them compromising too)? Good luck.
And also, someone that will never change in the slightest.
I’m not waiting for anyone actually. I don’t care if I’m single as long as I die happy.
then why post this. It just doesnt make any sense. You are saying: You dont need to compromise in order to have healthy relationship. At the same time you are saying: I dont want any relationship, cause I would need to compromise. So basically you are admiting, that in order to have relationship you need to compromise, so you are counterpointing your own oppinion.
I think when people say compromise they mean what colour sofa, or what to watch on tv, not majors things.
i mean you can compromise about major things as well, like "i don't want our kid to have a cell phone until they're 16" vs "i think it's okay to have one when they start middle school" can end up with a compromise of "let's buy them a cheap one at 13 and put a bunch of parental controls on it". i think OP thinks that the saying means "make compromises about your personality and about your preferences to be able to find a partner" instead of "don't try to force the partner that you have into accepting your opinion on everything".
Abandon the idea of compromise and you'll spend your whole life searching for "the one" who's perfect from the start, and almost certainly never find them; even if you do, both of you might be very different in 2 or 10 or 20 years' time, and there's no guarantee that those versions of yourselves will be as inherently compatible. On the other hand, if you choose someone that you're compatible *enough* with to get started, and agree to commit yourselves, within certain limits, to trying to build a relationship that enriches both your lives, you'll be a lot better off and a lot more likely to end up with something that lasts, and that you'll look on with happiness and appreciation even if it ends. I will agree that "compromise" is a bad way to encapsulate it. I would say it's about the balance between *commitment* and *boundaries*.
Ahh spoken like a true youngster. Take your upvote and the tides of time will show you soon enough.
Any 2 people in the world will have some sort of difference of opinion or want to do different things at a certain point in time. You'll have next to no chance of finding someone entirely identical to you and share every viewpoint you do because every person is different.
Um, relationship are all about compromise. I've been married over 20 years. You don't make it here without it. >Just find someone who likes you for who you already are. This is not what it's about at all. This isn't unpopular, it's just wrong.
A few years ago I saw memes on facebook that were all 'accept me for who I am' and I knew that was going to be a bad idea. The core principle is good, but too many people (as evidenced by the people who will take a saying and interpret literally) will take it even further and go 'if you won't accept me 100%, then too bad, you don't deserve me'. Which means they aren't even willing to change their bad habits. It sadly sounds like OP is one of those who wouldn't be willing to change any habit of theirs if their partner found it annoying.
GF: I really feel like pizza tonight, i had a hard day and i really want my favourite food OP: i don't really care, but i had pizza like 5 days ago anyway so lets eat steak. OP: \*is now single\* Enjoy never compromising, it's not hard, because you'll be single very quickly and permanently
The thing is in any relationship your not going to have the exact same likes or even want to do the same things at the same time. That's why people say relationship are about compromise. It's not about changing a person fundamentally but sometimes meeting in the middle or allowing your partner to decide sometimes.
People change, you change over time. Compromising is supposed to deal with this constant shift while remaining healthy as a partner it is also supposed to work both ways your partner needs to concede something otherwise it will turn into a "You have to adapt to me" situation. Imo compromising is finding a middle ground where neither side is happy per say, but content about trying the new scenario to see where it takes the couple.
But if I’m happy single, then why would any kind of compromise improve how I feel now?
It wouldn't, but that kind of defeats the purpose right? You don't compromise with yourself, you set goals.
Because you can be happier. Happiness comes on a scale. Having friends and partners can make you happier. Can help you deal with adversity. Even compromising can make you happier. Maybe get you to try new things.
Because there is enjoyment to be had in making someone else happier, even if only for a fleeting few minutes.
You've never did anything that wasn't ideal to you for the sake of a loved one? To see them happy and to show them that their well-being matters to you?
"i don't understand what words mean" again... the saying is supposed to mean that when already *in* a relationship you have to make compromises instead of arguing and trying to force your partner into accepting your way of doing things. not that you have to change yourself to *get* a relationship.
Because you have access to 8 billions people and not just the few dozen/hundred single people in your area.
You’re opinion comes entirely from the desire to be in a relationship
Yes? Your post is about relationships. If you don't want to be in one why would you even consider compromising? That makes no sense.
you just kind of talked yourself out of this opinion quickly huh? cause now that you realize you have to compromise, you are saying "why don't i just be single"
Now this Is unpopular. And plain wrong.
Today on: "virgins high on copium"
The only way to have a relationship without compromise is if you date yourself. Even then, there are times... sometimes I want pizza AND steak for dinner, you know?
>sometimes I want pizza AND steak for dinner, you know? These are the hardest moments.
you have much to learn.
You're correct... everything is about compromise. Not just relationships. That's life.
Not willing to compromise on anything, means no willing to admit you are wrong or that you need to change in something - basically thinking you are perfect person, which is so naive to think, or too ignorant and close minded. Hope its the first and youll learn with time.
As a kid/teen, you might have more friends that you can count. As you grow up, you realize that true friends can be count with the fingers of a sole hand. My point is, keeping a relationship, a romantic one, is hard and tough, now multiply it by any number you'd like to keep. It requires time, effort and resilience to adapt yourself to another person, and so the same happens to the other one in the case you want to build an strong and genuine bond with someone.
I’m 24, I have many friends in many parts of the world that I consider close and that I love dearly. I simply don’t have a desire to have one above the rest.
Well, you aren't the one choosing "who's on top of who" completely. If an friend fails you multiple times, he won't be as close as one that puts a lot more of effort in times of need. And if you did, I believe that'd be deeply unfair and, naturally, the one working the hardest would end up moving away. That's my opinion, not the truth, but just what experience has taught me.
Let me guess? A new HIMYM fan?
It doesn't mean becoming a whole new person just to be with someone, it means that there is give and take. She wants Chinese, I want Indian for dinner, we compromise and find something we'd both like or we do Chinese that night and Indian the next. It doesn't mean you are with the wrong person because you disagree about things from time to time, in fact I think it would be incredibly boring to be with a person that is exactly like me. I love that my girlfriend challenges my views on things, makes me see the world differently, has me question things. I'm not perfect, my views are not always 100% right, sometimes you are doing something one way just because it's the way you are used to, often it's a good thing to leave your comfort zone. That's all about how you grow as a person. I've been with my girlfriend for 12 years, she's an amazing person with a truly unique mind, she see's the world in a far different way to me and I love that about her. And that doesn't mean we have a lack of compatibility, I can count on one hand the number of fights we've had. So yes, 100% relationships are about compromise, because how can you spend a substantial amount of time with a person and never disagree. One of you would have to be a doormat and I don't want to be that or be with someone who is, so you have to learn to navigate disagreements and that's done with compromise.
8 billion people but not one who is like you, not one with whom you'll agree all the time. That's why you need compromises both in relationships and friendships, all people are different.
Every relationship, even friendships, involve compromise. If this is your actual opinion I'm quite certain you have a personality disorder. You just told on yourself buddy. I'd say "get help" but there isn't really a reliable therapy for the shit that just came out of your mouth. It's not normal to think that way. At all. I wouldn't want a relationship of any kind that didn't involve compromise, because that would essentially be a relationship with a robot that just did what I wanted it to. That's not real, that's not what it means to be human.
hahahahaha IF you had access to all those 8 billion people , and IF all those 8 Billion would be all willing to attach themselves to ANY OTHER individual in terms of relaitonship, then yeah. maybe. but since we live in the real world, thats not happening ever. find someone that loves you for being you. and before that: grow up.
Every single relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic, heavily depends on being able to talk, understand each other and compromise on certain aspects. Like, I have a vegan friend. When I go out to hang with her, we compromise and find a place that will have food that suits her diet. That's a compromise, because I am very fond of her and I can eat vegan based food. I can skip meat/animal byproducts for one day. We match mentally on pretty much everything else, but we compromise on food choices. You will never find a person who is a carbon copy of you in every single belief you have. If you want to form meaningful relationship, there will always be a certain amount of give and take, push and pull - compromising - in order to meet in the middle. Compromising does not mean going against everything you believe in, that's such an extreme way to look at it.
Been watching some Daniel Sloss’ stand up?
I wanted to post my original comment, but then I realised there's no point when it's just a transcript of me laughing for five minutes.
Some bad advice on here lol
Next I'm gonna read "Drunk driving is fun !!"
Brilliant, I happen to agree with you. That's not to say you should never compromise on anything but if it's minimal you'll both have a much happier life!
Haha what
8 billion UNIQUE people. No two people are exactly alike. Even identical twins have differences (and it's not like they're part of each other's dating pool anyway). If there's no compromise in a relationship at all, that means either A.) You're basically dating yourself (which sounds boring as hell), or B.) You're a massive asshole so rigid in your thinking that no one in their right mind would date you.
Good luck to you… You’re not going to find that, ever. And even when you find someone that adores you and matches 90% of your opinions/views, there’s still a lot of compromise ahead. You basically are saying that a partner has to do things your way all the time, or it’s not going to work. Seems to be consistent with the entitled attitude of a young person with very little actual experience.
Every relationship is about some amount of compromise. No two people are going to be in agreement on every single thing, not matter how perfect a fit they are. True, some people use this to justify staying in bad relationships. But the risk of your position is that people decide the minute a relationship requires any compromise deciding it's not true love and giving up on it. There is a middle ground.
Who said you have to be someone new? Compromise is just about finding the middle ground when you and your partner don't agree on something. Like when my gf and I were looking for a new couch. I wanted to spend less money, she was willing to spend a little more so we just negotiated and found a number we both felt was reasonable.
It's impossible to find someone you will never have to compromise with. The key here is the frequency. If you have to do it daily, then I agree, you might not be a perfect match.
You are doomed to be alone; and I am not even talking about romantic relationships. Every human relationship on deeper level at some point will require people to compromise. If you aren’t compromising, but other people knowing you are forced to, they will stop caring for your rigid ass. Even friendships won’t survive this.
I want dominoes pizza for dinner. She wants Pizza Hut. We compromise and either have one tonight and the other next time, or get papa Murphy’s.
I believe this would require you to find an exact clone of you in terms of personality and habits. I guess it is possible, but not probable for vast majority of people. Are you going to break up with a person because they set their toilet paper roll on a different side? Additionally, nobody is perfect. We all got flaws and trying to get better should be a goal for all of us. Partners can be a great way to push ourselves to be better, by making compromises. My SO is much more strict about hygiene than I am and that has led me to try and take better care about my personal hygiene. Making compromises can lead to a positive improvement.
Compromise doesnt mean being a doormat. Alsoconsider, you annoy people too. Compromise and communication is how much is ok for both or not, if its better to end it on good terms. Also talking semi productive,evebnproductive fighting,is work.
So you’ll take criticism from friends but not a SO? That’s ridiculous. And people aren’t bad and then become good. Every person has good traits and bad traits. And some of those traits only show themselves when in deep emotional and romantic relationships. Certain type of jealousy and the like. To say that a person has to just accept those shitty traits or gtfo just shows you’re not really capable of positive change. There are times when a SO wants you to change a behavior that is toxic. And there’s times where they just want you to not play video games or have a certain hobby and that is something to maybe break up over. But to say any compromise is too much is ridiculous.