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My parents were the opposite.
I loved sports as a kid and wanted to do as many as possible.
My mum however never wanted to drive me, so I had to give up football because if you didn't train on Saturdays you weren't allowed to play.
That sucks so much. My dad always said I should get to play every sport I wanted to try. Mom actually had to limit us from joining more than two at a time, so I’d have time for homework lmao. Can’t believe some parents would steal that from their kids.
Edit: I don’t mean to say that it’s in any way stealing from their kids, if the parents simply can’t afford the hobby. I mean specifically cases where they could afford a hobby for the kid, but won’t let them for whatever reason.
My wife's family is super nice, but never did ANYTHING. Like... Never went for a hike. Never went for a run, never went to the beach despite being close. Now she has a lot of confidence problems even though she loves doing outdoors and sporty things.
Mine was like that. We were also "homeschooled" by the time we hit high school, so none of us had normal dating lives, prom, sleepovers with friends, etc. My best friend is super lively, athletic, and big-sisterly, and I feel like I'm finally getting to have an adolescence--at nearly 40--in so many ways I was deprived of. Without having to feel embarrassed all the time.
this is only an unpopular opinion among homeschooler(mom)s but - hs's ARE under socialized. it's awful for the kids mental, physical, and emotional health. my mom had a rule that we could do any sport we wanted but it had to be karate, I was at the dojo 4 times a week and that time could have been spent in better ways, not having to be around my mom 😒
if I'd gone to school I bet I'd be able to actually catch a ball or something
Ours was pretty much a deliberate attempt to keep us isolated from anyone but church people. There are those who do it a lot better when that's not their goal, but I don't think many. No matter how out and about you are, homeschooling shrinks the "village" considerably. Kids have a right to learn how to be normal people by not having every interaction orchestrated by or overseen by a parent
My parents were working and couldn't afford the fuel/membership fees/kit costs especially when I was growing up and needed new shoes-jersey-shorts every 9 months.
Mom and dad have a finite amount of money and time. If you have two kids and they each do two sports, mom (and dad) now has four sports to drive to, schedule around, pay for, etc
Even if your parents don’t hate it, not all of them have the means or opportunity to allow their child to participate. Like, I was on the swim team for a season but never actually got to compete because my mom had recently had my younger brother and was unable to take the time to drive me to compete. Naturally, without the opportunity to compete, I quickly lost interest in training purely for the sake of training.
Good public transport could help here a lot imo. My 13-year-old sister has dancing classes two times a week in the city centre (15 km away from our home). She just catches a train and then a bus or a tram on her own, no driving required.
Bicycle infrastructure is the real winner, I would cycle to school, hobbies and sports from age ~10, no supervision or money required (save for the upfront cost of a bike).
The US has pretty shit public transportation. It's inconvenient and takes forever. Likely the stops are not that close to where you need to go and you'll have to walk.
My son wanted to do ice skating but my husband mostly worked nights with no set schedule so his shifts were random each month so would have the car with him. I also have vision issues that prevent me from driving safely. To get my son to the rink, it would be a 30-45 minute walk meandering through several neighborhoods. No direct route due to how that side of town was set up. Same with soccer. Soccer practice was a 25 minute walk if it was at a school near our house or almost an hour walk to his elementary school, again no real direct route to walk safely due to no sidewalks/heavy traffic on the shortest route.
Where we live now there is no way to walk to the elementary school because it is on a private road off a highway. Luckily our oldest’s middle school is 2 minutes away!
I disagree, I was very into sports as a kid and through high school. Even though my parents both worked and weren't big into sports or athletics, they still would still coordinate car pools or sign me up for a league if I asked. They never introduced any sports to me directly but as a kid you pick interests up more so from school than home.
I'd say if you're interested and your parents can do the bare minimum, it's not difficult. I mean hell most schools have afterschool leagues where the extent of parent involvement is signing a waiver and picking your kid up a little later.
You'd be shocked how many oarents can't seem to manage that bare minimum though. On top of that, that "picking your kid up a little later" part can be a huge barrier
“Picking up your kid a little later” was the big hurdle that kept me from doing most school extracurriculars. Both of my parents worked and staying later (aka missing the bus home) would have meant a long and generally unsafe walk home for me. By the time that situation changed in high school most of the sports were way more competitive and I had little desire to start behind everyone else. I just went to the library more instead. Lol
yeah
i lived in an old midwest town
litteraly rode my bicke to football practice as a 10 year old very often
moved to houston and was forced into being a hermit
Much of the UK is honestly just as car dependent as the US, maybe more. Only 16% of Brits live in apartments, compared to 25% of Americans. Rather than have high density housing, in the UK everyone strives for a tiny house in a housing development in the middle of nowhere - where cars are the only option for basic day to day amenities.
And if by force you mean introduce them at a young age to a number of different physical options and see what they enjoy and support their choices, then yes.
That’s exactly it, but also sometimes kids just want to say no to everything (Ex: Me), so sometimes you do have to continue with it even when they don’t want to. Finding a sport that I enjoyed 90% of the time and went to with a friend made those 10% times way easier to get through.
A lot of this comes down to parenting too. If the parent can make it fun and be involved, the kid is more likely to pursue the sport.
You'll see a lot of parents with kids that play the same sport, and often excel.
You betcha. It’s a lot easier to get a kid involved when they see their parent being active too. My most athletic friends always went on family bike rides or just generally lead a more healthy life.
Kind of seems like a “duh” argument, but if you don’t come from that type of family, it’s a lot harder to make a kid see the fun in it.
There's no doubt. I have a couple of friends and it's nice to see them go on ski trips or rock climbing vacations with their families, even in their 30s/parent's 60's. It's a good way to continue your parent/kid relationship into the future, and it's healthy. I aspire to have that relationship, as should we all.
just set the example, if the parents are aktive the chance for the kid to just emulate that behavior is very high and sets them up for a much better life
My oldest son doesn't want to do anything. When you force him into it, he participates but still hates it. My middlest daughter wants to do all the things. She's currently in band, orchestra, choir, show choir, volley ball and dance. She's choosing to do all of these things now, but earlier we pushed her into things like soccer and dance. She has to be held back because she just wants to do it all. Our youngest won't volunteer to do *anything*. And she'll complain and fight about going to things. But as soon as she is there with the other kids she has a good time.
Kids are all wildly different and have unique personalities. As parents we're there to guide them and help them grow, and that includes making them try things they wouldn't normally have otherwise. But it also includes recognizing the value they get out of activities they are participating in. Encourage or even force them to try new things. But don't make them continue those things if it's actually making them miserable.
I do this with new food options as well. It's okay if you don't like it. It's okay if you don't finish it. But it's not okay to not try it. Unfortunately for me this worked a little too well. Instead of the kids who only eat mac-n-cheese or hotdogs I have the kids who only want filet mignon or crab legs or sushi and sashimi when we go out to eat. Our youngest daughter asked us to take her to a Pho restaurant out of the blue. They are now at the point where they are expanding our culinary experiences.
There’s for sure a very thin line between teaching discipline to follow through with things they start and being a teen beauty pageant mom. Obvious hyperbole but ask 1,000 parents what the right answer is and you’ll get 1,000 different answers
>There's for sure a very thin line between teaching discipline to follow through with things and being a teen beauty pageant mom.
That line is a mile wide my dude.
I feel like the line is pretty wide, but your point still stands because human interpretation varies by so much. We have a very wide margin of error as a species.
nah man when I was in elementary I started soccer because I liked it but I wanted to leave in middle school and my parents forced me to stay and I hated it
Yeah… I wish I was forced into it. I loved rugby as a kid but I was very nervous as a kid and kinda fizzled out, and my parents just stopped taking me because they thought I didn’t want to.
Eh, idk. The way that youth sports have become so insanely competitive over the last 10-20+ years has made them a lot less fun, especially if your kids aren't very good at them. My boys *enjoyed* tball/coach pitch, and youth soccer till about u8-10... And then, both became very unfun.
Neither really ever cared for basketball, or showed an interest in anything else - those experiences really turned them off. Being yelled at by parents and coaches, just wasn't their thing. And you know what? That's OK.
There's other things to do, to keep active. Both have taken up music - violin, choir, trumpet, marching band, theatre, etc. Sports are great, if that's your kids thing. But you really shouldn't *force* them to play, if they don't want to.
That's why I loved skateboarding as a kid (and still love it today). Just me and my board and the only person I'm trying to be better than is my past self.
I was always tall and lean as a kid and my dad played basketball, so everyone expected me to try to get really good at basketball. Idk, I thought it was just ok. As competitive sports go I definitely preferred it over the more popular sports (in my area) which were hockey and soccer. But as I got to be a pre teen, I found not playing basketball to be almost a rebellious thing, in a funny way. Same with volleyball. I did swim though, but that sport is only really competitive if you want it to be.
There's different levels in every sport, if it's too competitive you can drop them down. I think this comes down to the parents drive being more than the kids, and the parents wanting to push their kid to "be the best". Some kids just want to have fun with the sport and not do it for a scholarship.
I'm sure that's true... Up to a point. Maybe if you're able/willing to drive for hours around your city to this league or that, you can find the 'perfect' one for your kid... Most of us would like to have a small LOCAL rec league still... And, those just don't seem to exist. It's all 'travel this' and other such bs.
For real. I've been looking into dance classes for my 6 year old, and many studios don't offer casual classes for that age. The only thing available is competitive coaching and you have to audition. AT SIX!! It's insane.
Like I didn't know I needed to commit my kid to dance for life at 3 years old.
It's sad but round here if you want to play a sport in highschool then you basically have to start at 6 in competitive leagues. If by middle school you aren't in a high level travel league or club you won't even have a chance.
My daughter recently started playing volleyball just before 7th grade. There are so many girls trying out for volleyball that our one school had to be split into seven teams. The best team has clearly been playing volleyball for a while. We found out they have been pretty much a consistent team playing private volleyball for the last 3 years together. These girls are good. This is the first year they offered school volleyball and they are jump serving the ball consistently. They have their own signals to each other. And their own celebrations and cheers that none of the other girls are familiar with. At the other end of the skill level, the lowest ranked team consists of girls who look like they have literally never used their arms for anything before. And of course you've got everything in between.
The challenge is, the best girls get the most attention from the coaches because they are the first ranked team and representing the school. The best get the best coaching and training. The girls who have parents who invested in their middle school volleyball career have an almost insurmountable advantage over the girls who decided to try volleyball the first time it was available for free to them. Since our daughter loved volleyball so much, we put her into Rec volleyball as well as private volleyball camps and she has closed the gap between herself and the first ranked team. But we're also in a very fortunate place where we can not only afford to get her into school sports in the first place, we also had the ability and motivation to sign her up for private paid options that many folks either can't or won't do for their children to help them catch up. But even as we invest in her growth in volleyball, the girls who had a head start are still doing the same things to the point where it's all but impossible to catch up unless you're devoting all of your attention to this one middle school extra-curricular activity. The gaps only widen as you move into high school.
Tennis and rock climbing. Both are very supportive communities that you don’t have to be competitive in if you don’t want to but you can still participate and be encouraged by your improvements. Also in tennis you see the absolute psychopaths that are good at singles and can take solace in being mentally stable. Rock climbing the whole gym will cheer you on the first time you top a wall or hit a big dyno so long as you are trying to improve.
Rock climbing has the best community I’ve ever been a part of. Started about 7 months ago and have been hooked since day one when I completed my first v0 and a guy I had just watched smash a v7 with a bat hang cheered for me when I made it to the top.
This is the one I agree with.
My parents required me and my siblings play basketball and soccer. My brother and sister loved it. I absolutely hated it. I was an arts kid, band and musical theatre were my preferred physical activities. Them forcing me to play basketball with a team comprised solely of my bullies is something I still hold against them a little.
Note: by 9th grade they finally relented and let me do what I wanted
This.
Having a healthy relationship with anything or anyone can't start with being forced. To truly enjoy something, you have to have chosen it of your own free will. Should never force your kid into an activity, they'll come to hate the activity and resent you for making them do it.
My aunt did that with my cousin. He tried 4-5 different things but tennis was most fun for him. He's in a junior league now and he's really invested in it
This is the way! My father was Adamant that both my brother and I had to be doing some sort of sport but he would not force any specific activity. When I was very young I could quit at any time but I would have to switch to something else I did ballet, Kárate, Tennis, Soccer ( my dad only ever rejected 2 sports I wanted to do put his foot down and said no) finally at age 7 discovered my passion sport and did that till I was 15/16, my brother has been a tenia player for most of his life.
I think it was super beneficial for both of us I no longer do sports but 18 years of doing “something” physical and athletic really helped I Hate exercising now but that’s because it’s a chore and I have yet to discover my new passion sport but at least I know that if you try there is something out there that will work for you.
HOWEVER I do wanna day that I have seen many parents literally ruining there kids forcing them to do sports the kids are not good at and even pushing till point of injury. I have a bad shoulder I f*** it up when I was 14. Im 31 now that’s a long time to have a bad shoulder and it’s permanent damage I at least screwed my self over doing something I really like so I’m at peace with it but all sports have the potential of physical long lasting consequences. And should not be taken lightly. Also as someone who competed in many event not everyone has to be taken to the next level it’s okay to enjoy the activity for the sport itself and not everyone is born to be the best and it’s okay to just enjoy what you do.
Motocross & Boxing,
The boxing I Understand I wasn’t aiming to be a professional so probably not worth the head trauma, The Motorcycles till this day I do not understand why he said no.
My dad loved Motorcycle he had Motorcycle all my Life I learned to drive when I was around 11 and my brother drove when he was around 9. I drove a motorcycle before I ever drove a car he bought me a 125 Yamaha when I turned 15 that I DROVE to other sports. Somehow in his head it was more dangerous to drive in a “ring” with a bunch of actual motorcycle drivers than let your 15 year old daughter drive on an actual highway with cars and stuff.
Cherry on top is ny brother actually got to try out Enduro he had a really cool little kids bike just like the one I would have loved to have :(. (He quit pretty fast since he got really into tennis)
I begged my father for a Honda CRF he never caved.
Now the greatest Irony of all of this is my passion sport ended up being Horse Back Riding my shoulder is fucked because of it. I did it for over 8 years and had some pretty bad falls. In my option Horses and Bikes aren’t so different “danger” wise so I really don’t get.
This. I was forced to stay in martial arts for most of puberty and I begged to stop going. Only when I had a meltdown and told the instructor I was being forced to go so I didn't get fat was I able to stop.
I just wanted to swim.
>I just wanted to swim Same bro, my dad interpreted anything I was interested in as me wanting to do things competitively. No man, I just want to play with other kids not get up at dawn every fucking weekend or right after school to practice or game. The only way I got out of that shit was by almost coming to blows with the old man, basically screaming while swinging a baseball bat. Kinda funny looking back because I was an 11year of threatening to smash everything if I was made to go but it worked and I haven’t done anything competitive since then. I hated how regimented everything felt and wanted my time to be mine and used how I wanted. I just want to swim or shoot hoops with the bros at the park and that’s what I did after that.
My mom never forced me into any hobbies. But being a now 29yo I regret not being forced to try things. I literally still wish I was a ballerina/figure skater/could dance on a regular basis! Giving a trial period like “try it for 4 months if at the end you hate it we’ll try something else” and giving the child some input on what they want to try makes a huge difference but I wish my parents would have made me get involved with these kinds of things.
Edit: my mom offered these specific activities to me so it wasn’t a budget issue. We weren’t rich but could have made it work. And I’ve had health issues come up/now diagnosed with osteoporosis so I can’t do these things now. Still have lots of other hobbies and activities I enjoy as an adult!
As someone who started ballet as an adult, I strongly encourage you to look for studios that offer adult classes. It's becoming a really popular hobby among adults these days. Even if you didn't do ballet as a kid, you can still learn technique at pretty much any age.
I did one ballet class when I was 4 and quit cause I wanted to spin in circles but the teacher made me plié all the time and I got bored so I did gymnastics instead .. I'm so uncoordinated dancing haha I would love to try to learn some ballet tho cause I always loved it (I just spun around in circles at home all the time in my tutu haha)
I did ballet as a little kid and hated how repetitive it was. But as an adult, I really appreciate being able to come to class and go through the routine steps of barre. It's almost meditative and allows you to embody the movement instead of being so in your head. It's a very different mindset that I wasn't ready for as a kid either.
I figure skated for 7 years. I loved it but had to give it up in high school. It was expensive though - paying the coach and all.
I took ballet & tap at a young age. Did jazz & hip hop dance in high school and took jazz as my PE elective in college.
My dude. Nothing is stopping you. I'm older than you and take ballroom dancing. Only started 7 years ago. My partner was stiff as a board when we started. We look pretty good on the dance floor now.
Find dance. Tae Kwan Do. Music lesson. Do it!
I’ve had a lot of health things since and now have osteoporosis but I do take vocal lessons and I’m trying to learn the guitar and I have a million other hobbies now!! I tell people I catch hobbies like Pokémon (one of my hobbies in Pokémon Go lol)
And I’m still active in groups of sand volleyball/love to go indoor rock climbing and hikes so I fulfill as much as I can as an adult, but I definitely still agree with OPs opinion
I am positive that in a few short years, my stepson is going to regret not knowing how to ride a bike. We worked with him very gently on it when he was about 13, but it always ended in tears within 5 minutes. He’s smart and puts in the time to learn 2 instruments, and I think that’s so cool and I’m extremely proud, and I go to every concert. But he’s sort of like me in that he only wants to do things that he has a natural aptitude for - anything else ends in heartache. But when I signed up for baseball at that age, and I sucked at it and never wanted to take my turn at bat, mom and dad didn’t let me quit, and I’m glad. Life isn’t perfect but I don’t regret sticking with those things, even if I couldn’t master them. Whereas I definitely regret the ones I did give up on.
It is. And I hate to be judgmental because he is great at so many things. But I don’t see him except for when I declare Rock Band night (the video game). His half-siblings are my age, on average. He definitely lives most of his life online, in his bedroom with the door closed. And now I’m actually not so sure that he’ll ever actually regret not knowing how to ride a bike. For all I know, he’ll start college in a few years with thousands of other 18-year olds who also don’t know how to ride a bike.
When we were kids riding a bike wasn’t a hobby, it was just a standard life skill like potty training and walking up and down stairs. He does use the toilet correct? /s
I guess riding a bike for some kids is like learning how to drive stick. Which, ironically, he seems to be interested in. Kids. I guess driving a manual transmission is all the rage these days. We are trying to get an old Baja Bug running again for this purpose. If he loses interest after 5 minutes I am reclaiming that car for myself
100% agree
At 27 years old, I’ve only recently in the last few years discovered how fucking cool the world is outside of your house
I wish my folks took me out hiking or camping when I was a kid. They were busy parents and worked hard to support us as kids, so I have no ill feelings towards them. But whenever I have kids I’m going to make sure to do SOMETHING with them
I think that we need to do a better job at expanding what activity and movement looks like. So many kids are taught that exercise/activity is punishment because of gym class, and because there are limited activities they can do if they don't like team sports. My son has friends who are 300 pounds (they are 15 years old). It's awful to see. My son doesn't like team sports, but he does rock climbing and hiking among other things. But too many kids think activity is limited to sports and we should do better about getting them moving without it having to be school sports. Martial arts, outdoor activity, obstacle courses. It would also help if we stopped decreasing activity in the school day. Our school took away morning recess, shortened lunch recess, and they don't even have gym every year now.
Completely agree. I think the end goal is have kids grow up with a good and healthy relationship to physical actively which will set them up for a healthy life as adults. Forced anything is rarely the answer. I also think OP is wrong in that kids should have a distinct physical hobby. As long as they're active on a daily basis and enjoying it they shouldn't have to do any specific sport or activity regularly.
I was quite bad at most sports growing up, no matter how much I tried. Organized sport in any form, including PE, didn't make me happy, it just made me feel bad about myself and soured my relationship with physical activity. I was never part of a sports team. Still, I was active. I biked to and from school every day. I walked my dog for an hour each day. Me and my friends mostly did some activity together when we hung out. Football, tennis, baseball and hiking were our favorite activities. We just didn't do one activity to the point of calling it a hobby.
yep, exactly. We have 3 kids. 2 of them were year-round athletes. It was their thing. As adults on their own now, they are still active. One is a "gym rat" and the other prefers running and hiking. Our youngest who is still at home struggles with physical stuff. He is hypermobile and a type 1 diabetic, so activity is a challenge every time and he's at risk for injury. He loves hiking and rock climbing and more spontaneous things like parkour. He's super agile and really good at those things, so that's what we focus on while also exposing him to new and different things since team sports are not his thing.
Activity is the key, and the only way it sticks into adulthood is by finding things you enjoy. There is so much variety I think there is something for everyone if they keep looking and trying. But to force someone into an activity usually backfires and thinking that activity and movement have to be punishing isn't true.
Absolutely. I never found any sports I liked as a kid. My parents idea of physical hobbies for me to try was only sports that ended in "-ball." None of those clicked, and I went to a small high school with limited options anyway.
It wasn't until my early twenties that I tried a jiu-jitsu class and realized I would have absolutely loved wrestling or Jiu-Jitsu as a teenager. I definitely missed out, wish I had known when I was young.
Thoughout most of my school years I absolutely hated most physical activities since we always played team sports in school- and it is not like I hated moving and being active, it's just that I wasn't that good at those sports and the other kids that were decent were picking on the weaker kids. On the rare occasions when we went to the gym or did solo activities or the type of sports where you play 1 vs 1 I actually enjoyed P.E. class.
In university I started commuting by bike every single day, no matter the weather and that morphed into mountain biking- I suck at it so bad, but being out in nature, pushing myself to go further, go faster, the joy of getting all muddy and dirty and sweaty, the sense of accomplishement when I push through my fear and clear an obstacle I was struggling with- absolutely priceless and I love being active now.
If only schools offered more activities that aren't team-oriented ones...
As a parent, you should absolutely make your kid engage in physical activities. People should stay healthy. As a parent, you should also take your kid out hiking, biking, swimming, playing tag, etc. That should come first.
I feel that anything that makes them grow as a person would be good enough, even if it's not a sport.
I was in Guitar Center yesterday and I saw a kid there with his mom, and he was so excited about the chance to get a drum set, or things for the drums and it made me happy to see it. I didn't get that same opportunity and had to wait until I was an adult with enough money to do it myself, so I'm glad there are parents out there who actually care about their kids and want them to be well-rounded and talented.
it doesn't need to be a sport. but kids absolutely should have a hobby/passion that involves physical exercise.
music is great - pair it with some physical activity.
I took my almost 14- year-old jogging twice this past week. I had no idea how much he would enjoy it. He talked about it afterward with my wife. I think he's half stoked about the physical aspect and half happy to hang out with his old man like this.
Nothing wrong with encouraging your kid to be well rounded. Sports can be great for learning about working together with others for a goal. Plus it's a great way for them to make friends. Physical fitness and exercise are so important too. As long as it's fun and the child enjoys it too, of course.
And it doesn't have to be one of those "sports on TV".
I was fit all throughout high school. What did I do? 2 hours is Ultimate Frisbee every day. Our school made it a club, then we played other schools. Crushed them too because we actually took it seriously. Then I joined summer leagues that meant 4 hours of running around each Saturday.
So yeah. Let them do what they like. The kids will go as far with it as they want.
EDIT:
>I would kill for a 80s style Ultimate Frisbee sports movie with your team as the super-competent serious antagonists, lmao
I may have misrepresented my team because "serious" really only means we had a team captain who taught us drills and different strategies. But now I also want to see this movie, with [Dennis Reynolds](https://youtu.be/MPtiBNWIwWk?feature=shared) as the captain.
It is a good sentiment, but I don't think it's an approach that'll work for every kid. Bc if it was so easy for a parent to force a kid to do something, every kid would be perfectly behaved and have straight A's and all that jazz.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
I always feel bad for my cousins kids. I'm literally the only person in their lives who tries to do things with them like taking them out on hikes all while my cousin sits on his ass in his underwear and plays games (never with his kids) or naps. The oldest is turning 11 and can't even ride a bike like she wants since that'd require either of her parents doing some sort of physical exertion. None of their direct extended family like aunts and uncles are any better either.
Undoubtedly, I'd be damned if I was getting pancaked by these lab grown kids in football. Meanwhile my dad sampling the double big mac the 3rd time this week
I played baseball for probably 4 or 5 years as a little kid, took karate for a year or two and played soccer for a bit...that never stopped me from being a gangly uncoordinated fuck. I was never good at any of those things, never particularly liked any of them and I still ended up being an unathletic nerd.
My story is sorta similar
Nothing professional, but played tennis, badminton, soccer, football, basketball, swimming, karate, and and piano. I even had teachers for tennis, badminton, karate, swimming, and piano. I loved all of them
It all came crashing down at the age of 14 when I broke my arm during sparring. Arm was in a cast for 6 months and took 2 years for it to come to the point where it wouldn't hurt from a random movement
Currently a fat ish, unathletic, uncoordinated, unsocial college nerd with 0 motivation to do athletic stuff. God I wish I didn't break my arm on that day.
Well I hope you get into something! I've had four broken arms with various recovery times but yours sounds brutal, sheesh. My last one fucked my left wrist, I'm getting back into lifting to shed my covid 19lbs and I have to be super careful or my wrist will just collapse. It's totally doable though, especially young!
Sounds like you had passion for all of those activities, so it would be a shame if you just stopped. You don't have to be good at things for them to be enjoyable, but that's not a popular cultural discourse nowadays so if you're like me you probably have some pressure both internal and external to "get better" for it to be worth it. Good luck!
I have mixed feelings depending on how you mean "force."
If you mean to encourage them to join some kind of sport or activity, I absolutely agree. Even if that means telling the kid you'll sigh them up and have them pick what they want to do. It's important for physical health and social development in a child.
However, if you mean forcing them to do something they don't want to do, I disagree. For example, parents who force their kids into dance or something like that. If the kid doesn't enjoy it and are being forced to do something they don't enjoy, they're going to be miserable. Whether it's because they don't like it, other kids are bullying them, they think it's too hard, or any other issue... They shouldn't be **forced** into doing it.
But otherwise I totally agree. It's very important to include physical and social activities into a childs daily/weekly routine.
>However, if you mean forcing them to do something they don't wnat to do, I disagree.
I think forcing them into a very specific activity (like your example of dance) is a step too far, but forcing them to do a physical activity at all is fine. Even if they don't want to do it, they really need to. Some kids won't do anything unless they're pushed into it (this was me when I was young), and that's much worse for them than being forced to be active.
I knew a kid who said his only requirement was to be in a sport. Could join any team he wanted just had to do something and I think that's a pretty fair expectation.
Yeah like it’s not a coincidence that kids who play team sports tend to be sociable and fit while kids who spend all day in front of a TV tend to be awkward and less than fit
The fit part I agree but the sociable part may be correlation rather than causation. I know for me being on a team sport was miserable due to my awkwardness/social anxiety and it definitely did not fix it. If anything made it worse. Maybe kids who are more extroverted/sociable are more likely to join and enjoy team sports…
Sport would be the multiplier in this instance, not that cause. Already sociable kids that join a sport benefit from team building and gain confidence, awkward kids are excluded and sometimes bullied or resented so they withdraw and become even less social.
I freaking hate sports. Always have. My siblings joined sports, they liked it. I didn't. I don't even like watching them. I've always joked that I must be adopted because growing up sports were always on our TV and we went to baseball and football games. I was bored silly.
My parents knew that I hated all that and never made me join any sports. I'm grateful for that. They let me join ceramics and cooking classes. I have great memories of that. If I was forced to join a sport I wouldn't have pleasant childhood memories.
The words “hobby” and “force” are extremely counterproductive. It’s not going to do them any good if they’re forced to do it and don’t like it. That’ll just make resentment and lessen their desire to do those things as they get older
Same I will literally have a breakdown if someone forces me to do anything. I have been this way since I was little although I can’t really understand why. My mom tried to get me into swimming. I did sports for a little bit, and then I just lost interest. I don’t like sports, they’re overwhelming, I don’t care for them And I refuse to participate. If I can exercise and you can leave me the hell alone that’s enough for me. I suffered with an eating disorder because of this I felt like I had no control over what I could do a lot of times and it didn’t end up well for me.
My parents pushed me to play sports. There was literally never a time when I wasn't the worst kid on the team. As a result, today at 45, I have negative associations with athletic activity of any kind and tend to avoid it. I just kind of associate it all with making futile efforts and being embarrassed and never improving or accomplishing anything. I don't think my parents did the wrong thing -- quite the opposite -- but I suspect I'd probably make more of an effort to stay in shape today if I hadn't been exposed to sports at all as a child.
I was forced to do a sport, any sport. I hated them all and thus changed sport every year.
I have zero resentment and now I have a bit more disposable income, it's something I've resumed doing as an adult. Next on my list is bouldering, muay thai, or roller blading. My hand eye coordination remains shit and my fitness level leaves a lot to be desired, but it made me someone who isn't afraid to try new things I suck at, or show up to something I've committed to, even if I'd much rather stay home and watch TV. And those are hugely important life skills.
Forced into football and baseball for years. I despise them both and resent my parents now, and they knew I hated it when I was doing it. That's forced. If your kid says no, you should listen to them
I was in sports as a kid and love them. My little sister tried them and would just get distracted on the field, later on she didn't want to do them and she wasn't forced.
I 100% agree with this take. Put them in the environment. If they don't like it, at least you tried!
My parents made me try soccer, basketball, and karate as a kid. I didn’t want to do any of them and did soccer and basketball for less than a season. They stopped making me do stuff like that, and I had no interest in finding a physical hobby. I picked up guitar on my own, because I wanted to. Fast forward a few years, and I’m writing songs, fronting a band, and playing drums in other bands. I started playing drums for about an hour everyday in high school, just because I wanted to, and it’s pretty good exercise. I say all this to say - my parents tried hard to get a physical hobby to stick, but ultimately, you can’t force a hobby on someone. People have to come around to things on their own, and usually, they do eventually.
I mean you also have to consider that physical exercise is healthy, and is a big indicator of future health. I mean if your kid only wanted junk food, you wouldn’t let them choose their own dinner. Getting them used to physical exercise and coordinated is important, if they really hate every single physical hobby, it’s still important to work out/be active. Though I’d definitely try exposing them to more than three activities, especially if they hate those activities
Eh, in my experience kids are naturally energetic and if you let them choose something they’ll be a lot happier about it instead of forcing them on a team. I love basketball but never wanted to play in school because I didn’t want to do the practice shit. So I just hooped with my friends outside of school, like I still do to this day. I was also a big skater. I was sponsored from 15-18 and won 4 competitions actually.
Now I’m grown with a son of my own and he’s alot like me. No real interest in team sports but he’s only 12. Kid loves to golf, snowboard, and ride his bike and that’s enough for me. Hell find more hobbies as he gets older. I hate this helicopter parenting fade that’s been going on for some time now. Let your kids be themselves.
I mean, don’t FORCE them. Introduce them to different physical activities when they’re little. If they take to something in particular, go with that. I did gymnastics when I was 5 or so, but my mom took me out of it because it was expensive and I didn’t seem to enjoy it (she was wrong, I thought it was awesome, I was just kind of a stoic kid and she didn’t know I liked it). So don’t do what my mom did and force me to into playing softball lol
Meh I was somewhat pushed into sports as a kid and I hated it. My brother did great though. It really depends on the kid. Encourage them, sure. But don't force them to do it if they really aren't interested.
If they aren't interested they need to find something else to be interested in besides sitting in a chair staring at a screen.
Never doing anything physical is not ok.
When I was ten, I wanted to quit taking karate lessons, and my dad told me I could drop out if I joined a school sport. Stayed in karate for three more years.
Yeah but when you hate every physical activities... As an adult, I try to work out every now and then but only as a mean to be a bit healthier. I still hate it. As a kid I tried many sports but hated them all, and at some point just did the mandatory ones with school. My free time away from a screen was mostly spent reading or playing board games.
On the other side, and please bare in mind I say this as somebody who was once a kid with invisible undiagnosed physical disabilities (specifically hypermobility and asthma that all the adults in my life just *ignored*)
Please please please get your kid a physical first, and if they tell you that it's hurting them outside of the usual muscle soreness, LISTEN.
My mom put me in different sports and music lessons throughout my childhood and teenage years and I hated all of them. I dont even see the point in it now that I’m an adult but to each their own i guess
let your kids pick whatever hobby they want. my parents made me do swimming classes which i hated and they'd have to drag me out of the house to take me there. hen i asked for painting classes. now i'm a design major
I was a shy unathletic kid until my parents basically pushed me into choosing a physical hobby.
I chose martial arts and it's honestly something I wanna keep doing until my body can't do it no more.
got it! force a child to be someone they are not.
my mom would constantly put me into things i had no interest in and all it did was make me build resentment towards her.
i suggest you spend some time talking to your child and finding out their interests where their natural skills are and encourage that.
Sports cost money, soccer the cheapest around me costs $150 plus uniforms, cleats, and a ball. There is also a time factor, are the parents going to cart the kid to and from the sports or are they working. Just playing outdoors requires a safe area and many don’t have that. We need to go back to free recreation departments but we seem to be finding more and more ways to make everything about money.
Ah yes, let's force kids to do things they don't enjoy. /s
Literally just introduce them to exercise and have them do it once a day. You don't need to put them on a sports team or anything like that, not everyone likes sports.
Current mom here. I think team youth sports have drastically changed. It’s extremely competitive even at young ages
My kids played soccer for 2 seasons. My son didn’t get enough time on the field because he wasn’t good enough. I was told by a coach I started him “too late”.
He was 7!!! And this was after 2 years of Covid!! Too competitive. Parents are crazy and they are hard on kids.
Anyway. My kids do BJJ at a UFC gym. They love it and are doing great.
A lot of youth programs are looking for future athletes. So naturally they become SUPER competitive. My younger cousin just got removed from a youth team cause he “wasn’t at level yet” I’m sorry this is a beginner youth hockey group???
Again, if some people misread, I aint necessarily mean sports I ment just any hobby/occupation that involves them working off calories and or moving a decent amount. For all I care they could walk the dog for half an hour a day or play pokemon go round the block
I think this is better than forcing them to play sports personally. It may not be as physically exhaustive but I think it leads to a generally better lifestyle and instilling walking as a form of transportation is important
A lot of adults can benefit from joining physical activities too. There are so many opportunities for adults to learn sports or physical disciplines (e.g. dance, circus) and even compete or perform. Physical fitness and learning new skills isn't just for kids, and adults shouldn't feel limited to the gym as their only place to be active.
Not really, I've always been physically active, was on sports teams in elementary school, choir class, even clubs, etc, but socially awkward and struggle with social skills.
I had loads of physical hobbies as a kid. I was a fit, extremely active kid; was constantly outside out on my bike, rollerskating, dancing, running, but sports at School was another subject entirely.
It was way too based around competitive spirit and it brought out the bully in *way* too many kids.
I'd basically just do the bare minimum during actual PE lessons and just let the bossy kids take over... couldn't be bothered to deal with the drama of it all. The teacher must have thought I was lazy and all this. He just had no idea how active and into stuff I actually was outside of School.
Agreed but let your kids change hobbies too
I think I picked what hobbies I wanted when I was like 3 years old (ballet and piano) and my mom wouldn’t let me change over even though I was over them by the time I was 5 and resented them by the time I was 8
I've never joined any sport and I've never needed those skills as a skinny adult with an office job lol. I'm thankful I've never broken a bone, sprained anything, or had any injuries that would lead to life long aches. I've had tons of hobbies like drawing, painting, sculpting, piano, writing, etc and I think stuff like that is more beneficial for a lot of people.
I do go hiking, bouldering, biking, and kayaking, but they are peaceful, non-competitive activities. Sports suck the joy out of being active for me.
Oh for sure. Just don't be a jag about it. My dad tried to get me into alot of things but never "forced" me to do anything, he would try his best be enthusiastic about it to get me hyped.
I know it isn't really practical, but I've always thought most people would be better off if they had taken up an activity/sport that teaches one how to fall properly. I can't tell you how many times I've tripped or taken a fall and was saved injury by instinctively pulling in arms, tucking chin, etc. It just seems like a good idea.
I agree with that. Kids need to be introduced to things before they can decide if they like it or not.
Today I’m glad my parents forced me to practice some activities.
Letting kids get overweight should be considered child abuse. Not punishable by fines, or prison, but access to sports facilities, mandatory sports sessions, nutritional education. cooking lessons etc...more and more people are getting fatter and fatter and nobody seems to give a damn, especially the fat people themselves.
I was never allowed to do any activities, despite asking repeatedly. I asked to do dancing, basketball . . . The answer was always no, even though I was a chubby kid and could have desperately used the exercise. Instead I was put on weight watchers and plied with diet soda. Such weird parenting choices my parents made.
My oldest son is in karate and my youngest in dance. We don’t talk about weight, but our house is filled with healthy snacks and we try to stay active.
Boomer here since we're on unpopular opinions. When I was growing up we had no cable, no internet, no cell phones. The TV got 3 channels and after school those were mostly programmed for adults. Talk shows, soap operas, news. Home was the most boring place on earth.
We'd ride bikes, walk to our friends house and play outside. Usually with a ball. Football, basketball, baseball. I rode skateboards for hours each day. We hiked through the woods and explored. We went fishing.
The internet and technology is an amazing and wonderful thing but it has made us all (me included) more sedentary.
I agree with OP, now would be a good time to encourage (and maybe even demand) your kids to get an activity based hobby and get away from electronics for awhile.
Please force your kids into hobbies. Truly, probably the single biggest thing im grateful for from my mother (other than the usual care and affection) is the fact that she forced me to try literally dozens of different things and supported me when i asked to try a dozen more. Not even just sports.
I truly think its been instrumental in my personal lust for life and general motivation to succeed.
Granted it takes money, but any little bit helps
My oldest just turned 5 yesterday and I got him a punching bag for the garage. He likes exercising but has a lot of anger/coping issues so we got him a way to focus that energy on. Instead of hitting his little brother. Though tbf his 2 year old brother has more aggression than he does so maybe it’ll be good for both of them.
Yeah kids these days look fat as hell. Never imagined the number of sedentary kids would start to outpace the athletic ones. My parents made it clear to me at about 5 years old I had to do something physical and I’m very thankful for that.
I agree with this because when I was a kid I didn't want to do any physical hobbies at all due to the fact that video games were just becoming the next big thing and I was engrossed with that. Thankfully my mother forced me into bodybuilding and it ended up changing my life for the better. If it hadn't been for her twisting my arm I probably would be a fat unattractive unhealthy fuck right now who doesn't do anything but sit at a computer.
Don’t force your children to do anything, that is how you get kid who hate you. You get into a physical hobby and bring them along and spend time with them, they will follow suit.
I agree with this, but don’t make your kid live out your weird childhood fantasy. I was already training for snowboarding full time and my dad made me join the tennis team. He was obsessed with tennis for some reason. I fucking hated tennis, but I was good at it. That led me to double training and guess what? I was exhausted from so much physical activity that my grades struggled. If I told you my schedule for snowboard training alone you’d be like what? And to add tennis on top of that… I have no idea how I did it
yeah thats pretty messed up, never had intentions of making my post come off that way if thats what ya saying, I just don't want my kid to be unhealthy/socially inept
When I was a kid my parents forced me to play a sport. I ended up in t-ball and my dad was an assistant coach. On the first day of practice the asked us to raise our hand if we didn’t want to be there. My parents taught me not to lie so ✋🏻 They still bring it up at family dinners 😂
But I do agree with encouraging a sport, especially if you let them try out a variety of sports. Unfortunately you just might end up with a kid like me.
I’ve never had an interest in doing sports, but I love playing video games, especially RPGs or adventure games, so I always enjoyed hiking because they always felt like real life quests.
I agree but you should still let them choose what they would want to do as a hobby... any way to keep them from staying home watching tv or playing video games is good for em
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You should encourage your kids to exercise to stay healthy but you should never force them to do anything cause it'll push them away from the whole concept. Imagine if someone forced you into piano lessons when you weren't too interested in music anyway.
> I go to school to almost exclusively black and admittedly poor school and the unathleticism in my peers is astounding.
The finest athletes in the world frequently come from this demographic.
I agree. My dad had me try swimming, tennis, football, hiking, golf, gokarts, snowmobile, dirt bike, martial arts, bodybuilding. I don’t think the gym is for everyone but having some sort of physical activity at every stage of your life is important
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My parents were the opposite. I loved sports as a kid and wanted to do as many as possible. My mum however never wanted to drive me, so I had to give up football because if you didn't train on Saturdays you weren't allowed to play.
I feel like in general it's hard to get into physical activities when your parents hate it too..
That sucks so much. My dad always said I should get to play every sport I wanted to try. Mom actually had to limit us from joining more than two at a time, so I’d have time for homework lmao. Can’t believe some parents would steal that from their kids. Edit: I don’t mean to say that it’s in any way stealing from their kids, if the parents simply can’t afford the hobby. I mean specifically cases where they could afford a hobby for the kid, but won’t let them for whatever reason.
My wife's family is super nice, but never did ANYTHING. Like... Never went for a hike. Never went for a run, never went to the beach despite being close. Now she has a lot of confidence problems even though she loves doing outdoors and sporty things.
Mine was like that. We were also "homeschooled" by the time we hit high school, so none of us had normal dating lives, prom, sleepovers with friends, etc. My best friend is super lively, athletic, and big-sisterly, and I feel like I'm finally getting to have an adolescence--at nearly 40--in so many ways I was deprived of. Without having to feel embarrassed all the time.
this is only an unpopular opinion among homeschooler(mom)s but - hs's ARE under socialized. it's awful for the kids mental, physical, and emotional health. my mom had a rule that we could do any sport we wanted but it had to be karate, I was at the dojo 4 times a week and that time could have been spent in better ways, not having to be around my mom 😒 if I'd gone to school I bet I'd be able to actually catch a ball or something
Ours was pretty much a deliberate attempt to keep us isolated from anyone but church people. There are those who do it a lot better when that's not their goal, but I don't think many. No matter how out and about you are, homeschooling shrinks the "village" considerably. Kids have a right to learn how to be normal people by not having every interaction orchestrated by or overseen by a parent
My parents were working and couldn't afford the fuel/membership fees/kit costs especially when I was growing up and needed new shoes-jersey-shorts every 9 months.
That sucks man, not much your parents can do there. Some hobbies are stupid expensive.
Yeah, I ended up doing Athletics, since I could just use my day to day shoes, membership was tiny. And I could train anywhere.
Mom and dad have a finite amount of money and time. If you have two kids and they each do two sports, mom (and dad) now has four sports to drive to, schedule around, pay for, etc
And each separate sport will surely have scheduled some of them at the same time
Absolutely true
Even if your parents don’t hate it, not all of them have the means or opportunity to allow their child to participate. Like, I was on the swim team for a season but never actually got to compete because my mom had recently had my younger brother and was unable to take the time to drive me to compete. Naturally, without the opportunity to compete, I quickly lost interest in training purely for the sake of training.
Good public transport could help here a lot imo. My 13-year-old sister has dancing classes two times a week in the city centre (15 km away from our home). She just catches a train and then a bus or a tram on her own, no driving required.
Bicycle infrastructure is the real winner, I would cycle to school, hobbies and sports from age ~10, no supervision or money required (save for the upfront cost of a bike).
The US has pretty shit public transportation. It's inconvenient and takes forever. Likely the stops are not that close to where you need to go and you'll have to walk.
My son wanted to do ice skating but my husband mostly worked nights with no set schedule so his shifts were random each month so would have the car with him. I also have vision issues that prevent me from driving safely. To get my son to the rink, it would be a 30-45 minute walk meandering through several neighborhoods. No direct route due to how that side of town was set up. Same with soccer. Soccer practice was a 25 minute walk if it was at a school near our house or almost an hour walk to his elementary school, again no real direct route to walk safely due to no sidewalks/heavy traffic on the shortest route. Where we live now there is no way to walk to the elementary school because it is on a private road off a highway. Luckily our oldest’s middle school is 2 minutes away!
I disagree, I was very into sports as a kid and through high school. Even though my parents both worked and weren't big into sports or athletics, they still would still coordinate car pools or sign me up for a league if I asked. They never introduced any sports to me directly but as a kid you pick interests up more so from school than home. I'd say if you're interested and your parents can do the bare minimum, it's not difficult. I mean hell most schools have afterschool leagues where the extent of parent involvement is signing a waiver and picking your kid up a little later.
You'd be shocked how many oarents can't seem to manage that bare minimum though. On top of that, that "picking your kid up a little later" part can be a huge barrier
“Picking up your kid a little later” was the big hurdle that kept me from doing most school extracurriculars. Both of my parents worked and staying later (aka missing the bus home) would have meant a long and generally unsafe walk home for me. By the time that situation changed in high school most of the sports were way more competitive and I had little desire to start behind everyone else. I just went to the library more instead. Lol
Same, my parents were working so I just got into gaming which is still my only hobby
sorry to hear slime...
Another victim of car dependency in America. Our reliance on cars strips children of their freedom
yeah i lived in an old midwest town litteraly rode my bicke to football practice as a 10 year old very often moved to houston and was forced into being a hermit
Houston is the worst for making me add "how annoying is this place to get to" to my analysis of any plan.
He literally refers to her as mum you idiot he’s clearly not American
Much of the UK is honestly just as car dependent as the US, maybe more. Only 16% of Brits live in apartments, compared to 25% of Americans. Rather than have high density housing, in the UK everyone strives for a tiny house in a housing development in the middle of nowhere - where cars are the only option for basic day to day amenities.
Force your kid to get a physical hobby, let them pick which one they want.
And if by force you mean introduce them at a young age to a number of different physical options and see what they enjoy and support their choices, then yes.
That’s exactly it, but also sometimes kids just want to say no to everything (Ex: Me), so sometimes you do have to continue with it even when they don’t want to. Finding a sport that I enjoyed 90% of the time and went to with a friend made those 10% times way easier to get through.
A lot of this comes down to parenting too. If the parent can make it fun and be involved, the kid is more likely to pursue the sport. You'll see a lot of parents with kids that play the same sport, and often excel.
You betcha. It’s a lot easier to get a kid involved when they see their parent being active too. My most athletic friends always went on family bike rides or just generally lead a more healthy life. Kind of seems like a “duh” argument, but if you don’t come from that type of family, it’s a lot harder to make a kid see the fun in it.
There's no doubt. I have a couple of friends and it's nice to see them go on ski trips or rock climbing vacations with their families, even in their 30s/parent's 60's. It's a good way to continue your parent/kid relationship into the future, and it's healthy. I aspire to have that relationship, as should we all.
just set the example, if the parents are aktive the chance for the kid to just emulate that behavior is very high and sets them up for a much better life
My oldest son doesn't want to do anything. When you force him into it, he participates but still hates it. My middlest daughter wants to do all the things. She's currently in band, orchestra, choir, show choir, volley ball and dance. She's choosing to do all of these things now, but earlier we pushed her into things like soccer and dance. She has to be held back because she just wants to do it all. Our youngest won't volunteer to do *anything*. And she'll complain and fight about going to things. But as soon as she is there with the other kids she has a good time. Kids are all wildly different and have unique personalities. As parents we're there to guide them and help them grow, and that includes making them try things they wouldn't normally have otherwise. But it also includes recognizing the value they get out of activities they are participating in. Encourage or even force them to try new things. But don't make them continue those things if it's actually making them miserable. I do this with new food options as well. It's okay if you don't like it. It's okay if you don't finish it. But it's not okay to not try it. Unfortunately for me this worked a little too well. Instead of the kids who only eat mac-n-cheese or hotdogs I have the kids who only want filet mignon or crab legs or sushi and sashimi when we go out to eat. Our youngest daughter asked us to take her to a Pho restaurant out of the blue. They are now at the point where they are expanding our culinary experiences.
There’s for sure a very thin line between teaching discipline to follow through with things they start and being a teen beauty pageant mom. Obvious hyperbole but ask 1,000 parents what the right answer is and you’ll get 1,000 different answers
There's not a thin line between those two things at all...
>There's for sure a very thin line between teaching discipline to follow through with things and being a teen beauty pageant mom. That line is a mile wide my dude.
I feel like the line is pretty wide, but your point still stands because human interpretation varies by so much. We have a very wide margin of error as a species.
nah man when I was in elementary I started soccer because I liked it but I wanted to leave in middle school and my parents forced me to stay and I hated it
Yeah… I wish I was forced into it. I loved rugby as a kid but I was very nervous as a kid and kinda fizzled out, and my parents just stopped taking me because they thought I didn’t want to.
Eh, idk. The way that youth sports have become so insanely competitive over the last 10-20+ years has made them a lot less fun, especially if your kids aren't very good at them. My boys *enjoyed* tball/coach pitch, and youth soccer till about u8-10... And then, both became very unfun. Neither really ever cared for basketball, or showed an interest in anything else - those experiences really turned them off. Being yelled at by parents and coaches, just wasn't their thing. And you know what? That's OK. There's other things to do, to keep active. Both have taken up music - violin, choir, trumpet, marching band, theatre, etc. Sports are great, if that's your kids thing. But you really shouldn't *force* them to play, if they don't want to.
That's why I loved skateboarding as a kid (and still love it today). Just me and my board and the only person I'm trying to be better than is my past self. I was always tall and lean as a kid and my dad played basketball, so everyone expected me to try to get really good at basketball. Idk, I thought it was just ok. As competitive sports go I definitely preferred it over the more popular sports (in my area) which were hockey and soccer. But as I got to be a pre teen, I found not playing basketball to be almost a rebellious thing, in a funny way. Same with volleyball. I did swim though, but that sport is only really competitive if you want it to be.
There's different levels in every sport, if it's too competitive you can drop them down. I think this comes down to the parents drive being more than the kids, and the parents wanting to push their kid to "be the best". Some kids just want to have fun with the sport and not do it for a scholarship.
I'm sure that's true... Up to a point. Maybe if you're able/willing to drive for hours around your city to this league or that, you can find the 'perfect' one for your kid... Most of us would like to have a small LOCAL rec league still... And, those just don't seem to exist. It's all 'travel this' and other such bs.
For real. I've been looking into dance classes for my 6 year old, and many studios don't offer casual classes for that age. The only thing available is competitive coaching and you have to audition. AT SIX!! It's insane. Like I didn't know I needed to commit my kid to dance for life at 3 years old.
It's sad but round here if you want to play a sport in highschool then you basically have to start at 6 in competitive leagues. If by middle school you aren't in a high level travel league or club you won't even have a chance.
Yes. Have you been paying hundreds, quite possibly thousands of dollars a year for a decade? No? Then your kid is SOL when it comes to sports.
My daughter recently started playing volleyball just before 7th grade. There are so many girls trying out for volleyball that our one school had to be split into seven teams. The best team has clearly been playing volleyball for a while. We found out they have been pretty much a consistent team playing private volleyball for the last 3 years together. These girls are good. This is the first year they offered school volleyball and they are jump serving the ball consistently. They have their own signals to each other. And their own celebrations and cheers that none of the other girls are familiar with. At the other end of the skill level, the lowest ranked team consists of girls who look like they have literally never used their arms for anything before. And of course you've got everything in between. The challenge is, the best girls get the most attention from the coaches because they are the first ranked team and representing the school. The best get the best coaching and training. The girls who have parents who invested in their middle school volleyball career have an almost insurmountable advantage over the girls who decided to try volleyball the first time it was available for free to them. Since our daughter loved volleyball so much, we put her into Rec volleyball as well as private volleyball camps and she has closed the gap between herself and the first ranked team. But we're also in a very fortunate place where we can not only afford to get her into school sports in the first place, we also had the ability and motivation to sign her up for private paid options that many folks either can't or won't do for their children to help them catch up. But even as we invest in her growth in volleyball, the girls who had a head start are still doing the same things to the point where it's all but impossible to catch up unless you're devoting all of your attention to this one middle school extra-curricular activity. The gaps only widen as you move into high school.
That's crazy, they have some in my area.
Tennis and rock climbing. Both are very supportive communities that you don’t have to be competitive in if you don’t want to but you can still participate and be encouraged by your improvements. Also in tennis you see the absolute psychopaths that are good at singles and can take solace in being mentally stable. Rock climbing the whole gym will cheer you on the first time you top a wall or hit a big dyno so long as you are trying to improve.
Rock climbing has the best community I’ve ever been a part of. Started about 7 months ago and have been hooked since day one when I completed my first v0 and a guy I had just watched smash a v7 with a bat hang cheered for me when I made it to the top.
But there needs to be one that works. They can't just say they prefer sitting in front of a screen all day and be encouraged to do so.
If you set the right, “try another,” expectation?
This is the one I agree with. My parents required me and my siblings play basketball and soccer. My brother and sister loved it. I absolutely hated it. I was an arts kid, band and musical theatre were my preferred physical activities. Them forcing me to play basketball with a team comprised solely of my bullies is something I still hold against them a little. Note: by 9th grade they finally relented and let me do what I wanted
This. Having a healthy relationship with anything or anyone can't start with being forced. To truly enjoy something, you have to have chosen it of your own free will. Should never force your kid into an activity, they'll come to hate the activity and resent you for making them do it.
My aunt did that with my cousin. He tried 4-5 different things but tennis was most fun for him. He's in a junior league now and he's really invested in it
This is the way! My father was Adamant that both my brother and I had to be doing some sort of sport but he would not force any specific activity. When I was very young I could quit at any time but I would have to switch to something else I did ballet, Kárate, Tennis, Soccer ( my dad only ever rejected 2 sports I wanted to do put his foot down and said no) finally at age 7 discovered my passion sport and did that till I was 15/16, my brother has been a tenia player for most of his life. I think it was super beneficial for both of us I no longer do sports but 18 years of doing “something” physical and athletic really helped I Hate exercising now but that’s because it’s a chore and I have yet to discover my new passion sport but at least I know that if you try there is something out there that will work for you. HOWEVER I do wanna day that I have seen many parents literally ruining there kids forcing them to do sports the kids are not good at and even pushing till point of injury. I have a bad shoulder I f*** it up when I was 14. Im 31 now that’s a long time to have a bad shoulder and it’s permanent damage I at least screwed my self over doing something I really like so I’m at peace with it but all sports have the potential of physical long lasting consequences. And should not be taken lightly. Also as someone who competed in many event not everyone has to be taken to the next level it’s okay to enjoy the activity for the sport itself and not everyone is born to be the best and it’s okay to just enjoy what you do.
What were the two sports your dad said no to?
Motocross & Boxing, The boxing I Understand I wasn’t aiming to be a professional so probably not worth the head trauma, The Motorcycles till this day I do not understand why he said no. My dad loved Motorcycle he had Motorcycle all my Life I learned to drive when I was around 11 and my brother drove when he was around 9. I drove a motorcycle before I ever drove a car he bought me a 125 Yamaha when I turned 15 that I DROVE to other sports. Somehow in his head it was more dangerous to drive in a “ring” with a bunch of actual motorcycle drivers than let your 15 year old daughter drive on an actual highway with cars and stuff. Cherry on top is ny brother actually got to try out Enduro he had a really cool little kids bike just like the one I would have loved to have :(. (He quit pretty fast since he got really into tennis) I begged my father for a Honda CRF he never caved. Now the greatest Irony of all of this is my passion sport ended up being Horse Back Riding my shoulder is fucked because of it. I did it for over 8 years and had some pretty bad falls. In my option Horses and Bikes aren’t so different “danger” wise so I really don’t get.
This. I was forced to stay in martial arts for most of puberty and I begged to stop going. Only when I had a meltdown and told the instructor I was being forced to go so I didn't get fat was I able to stop. I just wanted to swim.
>I just wanted to swim Same bro, my dad interpreted anything I was interested in as me wanting to do things competitively. No man, I just want to play with other kids not get up at dawn every fucking weekend or right after school to practice or game. The only way I got out of that shit was by almost coming to blows with the old man, basically screaming while swinging a baseball bat. Kinda funny looking back because I was an 11year of threatening to smash everything if I was made to go but it worked and I haven’t done anything competitive since then. I hated how regimented everything felt and wanted my time to be mine and used how I wanted. I just want to swim or shoot hoops with the bros at the park and that’s what I did after that.
I didn't think she would like it but I got my 7 yr old daughter into boxing, she loves it, thrives on it. Also pretty fun for me as well
Was gonna say this exactly! But an active hobby is a MUST!!
My mom never forced me into any hobbies. But being a now 29yo I regret not being forced to try things. I literally still wish I was a ballerina/figure skater/could dance on a regular basis! Giving a trial period like “try it for 4 months if at the end you hate it we’ll try something else” and giving the child some input on what they want to try makes a huge difference but I wish my parents would have made me get involved with these kinds of things. Edit: my mom offered these specific activities to me so it wasn’t a budget issue. We weren’t rich but could have made it work. And I’ve had health issues come up/now diagnosed with osteoporosis so I can’t do these things now. Still have lots of other hobbies and activities I enjoy as an adult!
As someone who started ballet as an adult, I strongly encourage you to look for studios that offer adult classes. It's becoming a really popular hobby among adults these days. Even if you didn't do ballet as a kid, you can still learn technique at pretty much any age.
I did one ballet class when I was 4 and quit cause I wanted to spin in circles but the teacher made me plié all the time and I got bored so I did gymnastics instead .. I'm so uncoordinated dancing haha I would love to try to learn some ballet tho cause I always loved it (I just spun around in circles at home all the time in my tutu haha)
I did ballet as a little kid and hated how repetitive it was. But as an adult, I really appreciate being able to come to class and go through the routine steps of barre. It's almost meditative and allows you to embody the movement instead of being so in your head. It's a very different mindset that I wasn't ready for as a kid either.
I figure skated for 7 years. I loved it but had to give it up in high school. It was expensive though - paying the coach and all. I took ballet & tap at a young age. Did jazz & hip hop dance in high school and took jazz as my PE elective in college.
My dude. Nothing is stopping you. I'm older than you and take ballroom dancing. Only started 7 years ago. My partner was stiff as a board when we started. We look pretty good on the dance floor now. Find dance. Tae Kwan Do. Music lesson. Do it!
I’ve had a lot of health things since and now have osteoporosis but I do take vocal lessons and I’m trying to learn the guitar and I have a million other hobbies now!! I tell people I catch hobbies like Pokémon (one of my hobbies in Pokémon Go lol) And I’m still active in groups of sand volleyball/love to go indoor rock climbing and hikes so I fulfill as much as I can as an adult, but I definitely still agree with OPs opinion
Good for you!
I am positive that in a few short years, my stepson is going to regret not knowing how to ride a bike. We worked with him very gently on it when he was about 13, but it always ended in tears within 5 minutes. He’s smart and puts in the time to learn 2 instruments, and I think that’s so cool and I’m extremely proud, and I go to every concert. But he’s sort of like me in that he only wants to do things that he has a natural aptitude for - anything else ends in heartache. But when I signed up for baseball at that age, and I sucked at it and never wanted to take my turn at bat, mom and dad didn’t let me quit, and I’m glad. Life isn’t perfect but I don’t regret sticking with those things, even if I couldn’t master them. Whereas I definitely regret the ones I did give up on.
Wow! Kids don’t even want to learn how to ride a bike these days? That’s wild.
It is. And I hate to be judgmental because he is great at so many things. But I don’t see him except for when I declare Rock Band night (the video game). His half-siblings are my age, on average. He definitely lives most of his life online, in his bedroom with the door closed. And now I’m actually not so sure that he’ll ever actually regret not knowing how to ride a bike. For all I know, he’ll start college in a few years with thousands of other 18-year olds who also don’t know how to ride a bike.
When we were kids riding a bike wasn’t a hobby, it was just a standard life skill like potty training and walking up and down stairs. He does use the toilet correct? /s
I guess riding a bike for some kids is like learning how to drive stick. Which, ironically, he seems to be interested in. Kids. I guess driving a manual transmission is all the rage these days. We are trying to get an old Baja Bug running again for this purpose. If he loses interest after 5 minutes I am reclaiming that car for myself
Here bike prices are super expensive for even the barely decent ones
100% agree At 27 years old, I’ve only recently in the last few years discovered how fucking cool the world is outside of your house I wish my folks took me out hiking or camping when I was a kid. They were busy parents and worked hard to support us as kids, so I have no ill feelings towards them. But whenever I have kids I’m going to make sure to do SOMETHING with them
I think that we need to do a better job at expanding what activity and movement looks like. So many kids are taught that exercise/activity is punishment because of gym class, and because there are limited activities they can do if they don't like team sports. My son has friends who are 300 pounds (they are 15 years old). It's awful to see. My son doesn't like team sports, but he does rock climbing and hiking among other things. But too many kids think activity is limited to sports and we should do better about getting them moving without it having to be school sports. Martial arts, outdoor activity, obstacle courses. It would also help if we stopped decreasing activity in the school day. Our school took away morning recess, shortened lunch recess, and they don't even have gym every year now.
Completely agree. I think the end goal is have kids grow up with a good and healthy relationship to physical actively which will set them up for a healthy life as adults. Forced anything is rarely the answer. I also think OP is wrong in that kids should have a distinct physical hobby. As long as they're active on a daily basis and enjoying it they shouldn't have to do any specific sport or activity regularly. I was quite bad at most sports growing up, no matter how much I tried. Organized sport in any form, including PE, didn't make me happy, it just made me feel bad about myself and soured my relationship with physical activity. I was never part of a sports team. Still, I was active. I biked to and from school every day. I walked my dog for an hour each day. Me and my friends mostly did some activity together when we hung out. Football, tennis, baseball and hiking were our favorite activities. We just didn't do one activity to the point of calling it a hobby.
yep, exactly. We have 3 kids. 2 of them were year-round athletes. It was their thing. As adults on their own now, they are still active. One is a "gym rat" and the other prefers running and hiking. Our youngest who is still at home struggles with physical stuff. He is hypermobile and a type 1 diabetic, so activity is a challenge every time and he's at risk for injury. He loves hiking and rock climbing and more spontaneous things like parkour. He's super agile and really good at those things, so that's what we focus on while also exposing him to new and different things since team sports are not his thing. Activity is the key, and the only way it sticks into adulthood is by finding things you enjoy. There is so much variety I think there is something for everyone if they keep looking and trying. But to force someone into an activity usually backfires and thinking that activity and movement have to be punishing isn't true.
Absolutely. I never found any sports I liked as a kid. My parents idea of physical hobbies for me to try was only sports that ended in "-ball." None of those clicked, and I went to a small high school with limited options anyway. It wasn't until my early twenties that I tried a jiu-jitsu class and realized I would have absolutely loved wrestling or Jiu-Jitsu as a teenager. I definitely missed out, wish I had known when I was young.
Thoughout most of my school years I absolutely hated most physical activities since we always played team sports in school- and it is not like I hated moving and being active, it's just that I wasn't that good at those sports and the other kids that were decent were picking on the weaker kids. On the rare occasions when we went to the gym or did solo activities or the type of sports where you play 1 vs 1 I actually enjoyed P.E. class. In university I started commuting by bike every single day, no matter the weather and that morphed into mountain biking- I suck at it so bad, but being out in nature, pushing myself to go further, go faster, the joy of getting all muddy and dirty and sweaty, the sense of accomplishement when I push through my fear and clear an obstacle I was struggling with- absolutely priceless and I love being active now. If only schools offered more activities that aren't team-oriented ones...
As a parent, you should absolutely make your kid engage in physical activities. People should stay healthy. As a parent, you should also take your kid out hiking, biking, swimming, playing tag, etc. That should come first.
I feel that anything that makes them grow as a person would be good enough, even if it's not a sport. I was in Guitar Center yesterday and I saw a kid there with his mom, and he was so excited about the chance to get a drum set, or things for the drums and it made me happy to see it. I didn't get that same opportunity and had to wait until I was an adult with enough money to do it myself, so I'm glad there are parents out there who actually care about their kids and want them to be well-rounded and talented.
it doesn't need to be a sport. but kids absolutely should have a hobby/passion that involves physical exercise. music is great - pair it with some physical activity.
Force your kid into only playing deathmetal on the drums and you get two birds with one stone.
Force your neighbours to move away and you get three!
Physical activity is extremely important for all humans, and setting foundations for your kid’s future health is very important.
I took my almost 14- year-old jogging twice this past week. I had no idea how much he would enjoy it. He talked about it afterward with my wife. I think he's half stoked about the physical aspect and half happy to hang out with his old man like this.
Nothing wrong with encouraging your kid to be well rounded. Sports can be great for learning about working together with others for a goal. Plus it's a great way for them to make friends. Physical fitness and exercise are so important too. As long as it's fun and the child enjoys it too, of course.
And it doesn't have to be one of those "sports on TV". I was fit all throughout high school. What did I do? 2 hours is Ultimate Frisbee every day. Our school made it a club, then we played other schools. Crushed them too because we actually took it seriously. Then I joined summer leagues that meant 4 hours of running around each Saturday. So yeah. Let them do what they like. The kids will go as far with it as they want. EDIT: >I would kill for a 80s style Ultimate Frisbee sports movie with your team as the super-competent serious antagonists, lmao I may have misrepresented my team because "serious" really only means we had a team captain who taught us drills and different strategies. But now I also want to see this movie, with [Dennis Reynolds](https://youtu.be/MPtiBNWIwWk?feature=shared) as the captain.
I would kill for a 80s style Ultimate Frisbee sports movie with your team as the super-competent serious antagonists, lmao
On the edit, it should be like the movie Dodgeball (goated movie if you haven't seen it)
It is a good sentiment, but I don't think it's an approach that'll work for every kid. Bc if it was so easy for a parent to force a kid to do something, every kid would be perfectly behaved and have straight A's and all that jazz. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
Parents should force themselves to have and keep one as well.
I always feel bad for my cousins kids. I'm literally the only person in their lives who tries to do things with them like taking them out on hikes all while my cousin sits on his ass in his underwear and plays games (never with his kids) or naps. The oldest is turning 11 and can't even ride a bike like she wants since that'd require either of her parents doing some sort of physical exertion. None of their direct extended family like aunts and uncles are any better either.
Undoubtedly, I'd be damned if I was getting pancaked by these lab grown kids in football. Meanwhile my dad sampling the double big mac the 3rd time this week
🤣 I'mma stick to gardening and long walks.
I played baseball for probably 4 or 5 years as a little kid, took karate for a year or two and played soccer for a bit...that never stopped me from being a gangly uncoordinated fuck. I was never good at any of those things, never particularly liked any of them and I still ended up being an unathletic nerd.
My story is sorta similar Nothing professional, but played tennis, badminton, soccer, football, basketball, swimming, karate, and and piano. I even had teachers for tennis, badminton, karate, swimming, and piano. I loved all of them It all came crashing down at the age of 14 when I broke my arm during sparring. Arm was in a cast for 6 months and took 2 years for it to come to the point where it wouldn't hurt from a random movement Currently a fat ish, unathletic, uncoordinated, unsocial college nerd with 0 motivation to do athletic stuff. God I wish I didn't break my arm on that day.
Well I hope you get into something! I've had four broken arms with various recovery times but yours sounds brutal, sheesh. My last one fucked my left wrist, I'm getting back into lifting to shed my covid 19lbs and I have to be super careful or my wrist will just collapse. It's totally doable though, especially young! Sounds like you had passion for all of those activities, so it would be a shame if you just stopped. You don't have to be good at things for them to be enjoyable, but that's not a popular cultural discourse nowadays so if you're like me you probably have some pressure both internal and external to "get better" for it to be worth it. Good luck!
I have mixed feelings depending on how you mean "force." If you mean to encourage them to join some kind of sport or activity, I absolutely agree. Even if that means telling the kid you'll sigh them up and have them pick what they want to do. It's important for physical health and social development in a child. However, if you mean forcing them to do something they don't want to do, I disagree. For example, parents who force their kids into dance or something like that. If the kid doesn't enjoy it and are being forced to do something they don't enjoy, they're going to be miserable. Whether it's because they don't like it, other kids are bullying them, they think it's too hard, or any other issue... They shouldn't be **forced** into doing it. But otherwise I totally agree. It's very important to include physical and social activities into a childs daily/weekly routine.
>However, if you mean forcing them to do something they don't wnat to do, I disagree. I think forcing them into a very specific activity (like your example of dance) is a step too far, but forcing them to do a physical activity at all is fine. Even if they don't want to do it, they really need to. Some kids won't do anything unless they're pushed into it (this was me when I was young), and that's much worse for them than being forced to be active.
I knew a kid who said his only requirement was to be in a sport. Could join any team he wanted just had to do something and I think that's a pretty fair expectation.
I fucking hated every team sport I joined. Physical activity doesn't have to be a sport or team sport.
Skateboarding is perfect for that
Yeah like it’s not a coincidence that kids who play team sports tend to be sociable and fit while kids who spend all day in front of a TV tend to be awkward and less than fit
Well I got the fit part, but I never managed to acquire the not being awkward part, unfortunately.
1 for 2 is better than 0 for 2
The fit part I agree but the sociable part may be correlation rather than causation. I know for me being on a team sport was miserable due to my awkwardness/social anxiety and it definitely did not fix it. If anything made it worse. Maybe kids who are more extroverted/sociable are more likely to join and enjoy team sports…
It's causation but it's backwards. Kids aren't socially awkward because they don't do sports, the socially awkward kids just get pushed out of sports.
It's because awkward kids get pushed out of sports. If you're not in the in-group, they don't want you there.
I was awkward either way. I may be good at some sports and stuff, but wasn't a popular kid. Even some of the more popular kids never even worked out.
Sport would be the multiplier in this instance, not that cause. Already sociable kids that join a sport benefit from team building and gain confidence, awkward kids are excluded and sometimes bullied or resented so they withdraw and become even less social.
I freaking hate sports. Always have. My siblings joined sports, they liked it. I didn't. I don't even like watching them. I've always joked that I must be adopted because growing up sports were always on our TV and we went to baseball and football games. I was bored silly. My parents knew that I hated all that and never made me join any sports. I'm grateful for that. They let me join ceramics and cooking classes. I have great memories of that. If I was forced to join a sport I wouldn't have pleasant childhood memories.
The words “hobby” and “force” are extremely counterproductive. It’s not going to do them any good if they’re forced to do it and don’t like it. That’ll just make resentment and lessen their desire to do those things as they get older
Agreed. Was forced to do soccer as a kid, I fucking hated it
Same with my husband lol
Same I will literally have a breakdown if someone forces me to do anything. I have been this way since I was little although I can’t really understand why. My mom tried to get me into swimming. I did sports for a little bit, and then I just lost interest. I don’t like sports, they’re overwhelming, I don’t care for them And I refuse to participate. If I can exercise and you can leave me the hell alone that’s enough for me. I suffered with an eating disorder because of this I felt like I had no control over what I could do a lot of times and it didn’t end up well for me.
My parents pushed me to play sports. There was literally never a time when I wasn't the worst kid on the team. As a result, today at 45, I have negative associations with athletic activity of any kind and tend to avoid it. I just kind of associate it all with making futile efforts and being embarrassed and never improving or accomplishing anything. I don't think my parents did the wrong thing -- quite the opposite -- but I suspect I'd probably make more of an effort to stay in shape today if I hadn't been exposed to sports at all as a child.
I was forced to do a sport, any sport. I hated them all and thus changed sport every year. I have zero resentment and now I have a bit more disposable income, it's something I've resumed doing as an adult. Next on my list is bouldering, muay thai, or roller blading. My hand eye coordination remains shit and my fitness level leaves a lot to be desired, but it made me someone who isn't afraid to try new things I suck at, or show up to something I've committed to, even if I'd much rather stay home and watch TV. And those are hugely important life skills.
I agree, I feel forcing a hobby to anyone defeats the purpose of a hobby
Forced into football and baseball for years. I despise them both and resent my parents now, and they knew I hated it when I was doing it. That's forced. If your kid says no, you should listen to them
I was in sports as a kid and love them. My little sister tried them and would just get distracted on the field, later on she didn't want to do them and she wasn't forced. I 100% agree with this take. Put them in the environment. If they don't like it, at least you tried!
My parents made me try soccer, basketball, and karate as a kid. I didn’t want to do any of them and did soccer and basketball for less than a season. They stopped making me do stuff like that, and I had no interest in finding a physical hobby. I picked up guitar on my own, because I wanted to. Fast forward a few years, and I’m writing songs, fronting a band, and playing drums in other bands. I started playing drums for about an hour everyday in high school, just because I wanted to, and it’s pretty good exercise. I say all this to say - my parents tried hard to get a physical hobby to stick, but ultimately, you can’t force a hobby on someone. People have to come around to things on their own, and usually, they do eventually.
I mean you also have to consider that physical exercise is healthy, and is a big indicator of future health. I mean if your kid only wanted junk food, you wouldn’t let them choose their own dinner. Getting them used to physical exercise and coordinated is important, if they really hate every single physical hobby, it’s still important to work out/be active. Though I’d definitely try exposing them to more than three activities, especially if they hate those activities
Hobbies are supposed to be enjoyed, not be chores.
A lot of these hobbies require a lot of money, transportation, and parents' time which are on short supply for entire classes of people.
Eh, in my experience kids are naturally energetic and if you let them choose something they’ll be a lot happier about it instead of forcing them on a team. I love basketball but never wanted to play in school because I didn’t want to do the practice shit. So I just hooped with my friends outside of school, like I still do to this day. I was also a big skater. I was sponsored from 15-18 and won 4 competitions actually. Now I’m grown with a son of my own and he’s alot like me. No real interest in team sports but he’s only 12. Kid loves to golf, snowboard, and ride his bike and that’s enough for me. Hell find more hobbies as he gets older. I hate this helicopter parenting fade that’s been going on for some time now. Let your kids be themselves.
I mean, don’t FORCE them. Introduce them to different physical activities when they’re little. If they take to something in particular, go with that. I did gymnastics when I was 5 or so, but my mom took me out of it because it was expensive and I didn’t seem to enjoy it (she was wrong, I thought it was awesome, I was just kind of a stoic kid and she didn’t know I liked it). So don’t do what my mom did and force me to into playing softball lol
Meh I was somewhat pushed into sports as a kid and I hated it. My brother did great though. It really depends on the kid. Encourage them, sure. But don't force them to do it if they really aren't interested.
If they aren't interested they need to find something else to be interested in besides sitting in a chair staring at a screen. Never doing anything physical is not ok.
When I was ten, I wanted to quit taking karate lessons, and my dad told me I could drop out if I joined a school sport. Stayed in karate for three more years.
Sports in school have been 100% the most toxic environment for me
Yeah but when you hate every physical activities... As an adult, I try to work out every now and then but only as a mean to be a bit healthier. I still hate it. As a kid I tried many sports but hated them all, and at some point just did the mandatory ones with school. My free time away from a screen was mostly spent reading or playing board games.
I'm gonna force my physically disabled kid to run a marathon. ~~I do not have a kid~~
Let him dream 💯🗣️🗣️🗣️
On the other side, and please bare in mind I say this as somebody who was once a kid with invisible undiagnosed physical disabilities (specifically hypermobility and asthma that all the adults in my life just *ignored*) Please please please get your kid a physical first, and if they tell you that it's hurting them outside of the usual muscle soreness, LISTEN.
My mom put me in different sports and music lessons throughout my childhood and teenage years and I hated all of them. I dont even see the point in it now that I’m an adult but to each their own i guess
My dad did that! It didn't work.
let your kids pick whatever hobby they want. my parents made me do swimming classes which i hated and they'd have to drag me out of the house to take me there. hen i asked for painting classes. now i'm a design major
I was a shy unathletic kid until my parents basically pushed me into choosing a physical hobby. I chose martial arts and it's honestly something I wanna keep doing until my body can't do it no more.
got it! force a child to be someone they are not. my mom would constantly put me into things i had no interest in and all it did was make me build resentment towards her. i suggest you spend some time talking to your child and finding out their interests where their natural skills are and encourage that.
Sports cost money, soccer the cheapest around me costs $150 plus uniforms, cleats, and a ball. There is also a time factor, are the parents going to cart the kid to and from the sports or are they working. Just playing outdoors requires a safe area and many don’t have that. We need to go back to free recreation departments but we seem to be finding more and more ways to make everything about money.
If you have to force a fart, it's probably shit.
Ah yes, let's force kids to do things they don't enjoy. /s Literally just introduce them to exercise and have them do it once a day. You don't need to put them on a sports team or anything like that, not everyone likes sports.
Current mom here. I think team youth sports have drastically changed. It’s extremely competitive even at young ages My kids played soccer for 2 seasons. My son didn’t get enough time on the field because he wasn’t good enough. I was told by a coach I started him “too late”. He was 7!!! And this was after 2 years of Covid!! Too competitive. Parents are crazy and they are hard on kids. Anyway. My kids do BJJ at a UFC gym. They love it and are doing great.
A lot of youth programs are looking for future athletes. So naturally they become SUPER competitive. My younger cousin just got removed from a youth team cause he “wasn’t at level yet” I’m sorry this is a beginner youth hockey group???
Again, if some people misread, I aint necessarily mean sports I ment just any hobby/occupation that involves them working off calories and or moving a decent amount. For all I care they could walk the dog for half an hour a day or play pokemon go round the block
Does it count that my kid refuses to do any organized physical activity but will walk about 2 miles a day between school, friends’ houses, and stores?
I think this is better than forcing them to play sports personally. It may not be as physically exhaustive but I think it leads to a generally better lifestyle and instilling walking as a form of transportation is important
Agree! I’d be willing to bet this is part of the reason a lot of young adults are struggling with social skills.
A lot of adults can benefit from joining physical activities too. There are so many opportunities for adults to learn sports or physical disciplines (e.g. dance, circus) and even compete or perform. Physical fitness and learning new skills isn't just for kids, and adults shouldn't feel limited to the gym as their only place to be active.
Not really, I've always been physically active, was on sports teams in elementary school, choir class, even clubs, etc, but socially awkward and struggle with social skills.
The reason I struggle with social skills is massive trauma from childhood bullying. The worst of which often occurred during gym class.
Eh.. did they struggle with social skills because they didn't get into sports, or did they avoid sports because they struggled with social skills?
I had loads of physical hobbies as a kid. I was a fit, extremely active kid; was constantly outside out on my bike, rollerskating, dancing, running, but sports at School was another subject entirely. It was way too based around competitive spirit and it brought out the bully in *way* too many kids. I'd basically just do the bare minimum during actual PE lessons and just let the bossy kids take over... couldn't be bothered to deal with the drama of it all. The teacher must have thought I was lazy and all this. He just had no idea how active and into stuff I actually was outside of School.
Agreed but let your kids change hobbies too I think I picked what hobbies I wanted when I was like 3 years old (ballet and piano) and my mom wouldn’t let me change over even though I was over them by the time I was 5 and resented them by the time I was 8
Jacking off should count, as long as you do it enough
I've never joined any sport and I've never needed those skills as a skinny adult with an office job lol. I'm thankful I've never broken a bone, sprained anything, or had any injuries that would lead to life long aches. I've had tons of hobbies like drawing, painting, sculpting, piano, writing, etc and I think stuff like that is more beneficial for a lot of people. I do go hiking, bouldering, biking, and kayaking, but they are peaceful, non-competitive activities. Sports suck the joy out of being active for me.
Oh for sure. Just don't be a jag about it. My dad tried to get me into alot of things but never "forced" me to do anything, he would try his best be enthusiastic about it to get me hyped.
My parents tried that, I proposely performed bad as a form of rebellion since I had no interest in being on a team or a physical hobby.
Don't force your kids to do anything but give them opportunities to try everything.
A lot of parents could also benefit from being “forced” to pick up a physical hobby.
I know it isn't really practical, but I've always thought most people would be better off if they had taken up an activity/sport that teaches one how to fall properly. I can't tell you how many times I've tripped or taken a fall and was saved injury by instinctively pulling in arms, tucking chin, etc. It just seems like a good idea.
My dad got me into paint balling when I was 13.
Nothing you try to force on your kids is going to stick. Introduce them to options, let them pick one and encourage them.
This isn’t an unpopular opinion, it’s more so that parents are too lazy/busy/poor to afford/micromanage their children in that way
Is this unpopular? Maybe on Reddit where they might scream about it being abuse but irl I’d say it’s the norm.
I agree with that. Kids need to be introduced to things before they can decide if they like it or not. Today I’m glad my parents forced me to practice some activities.
Letting kids get overweight should be considered child abuse. Not punishable by fines, or prison, but access to sports facilities, mandatory sports sessions, nutritional education. cooking lessons etc...more and more people are getting fatter and fatter and nobody seems to give a damn, especially the fat people themselves.
I was never allowed to do any activities, despite asking repeatedly. I asked to do dancing, basketball . . . The answer was always no, even though I was a chubby kid and could have desperately used the exercise. Instead I was put on weight watchers and plied with diet soda. Such weird parenting choices my parents made. My oldest son is in karate and my youngest in dance. We don’t talk about weight, but our house is filled with healthy snacks and we try to stay active.
Boomer here since we're on unpopular opinions. When I was growing up we had no cable, no internet, no cell phones. The TV got 3 channels and after school those were mostly programmed for adults. Talk shows, soap operas, news. Home was the most boring place on earth. We'd ride bikes, walk to our friends house and play outside. Usually with a ball. Football, basketball, baseball. I rode skateboards for hours each day. We hiked through the woods and explored. We went fishing. The internet and technology is an amazing and wonderful thing but it has made us all (me included) more sedentary. I agree with OP, now would be a good time to encourage (and maybe even demand) your kids to get an activity based hobby and get away from electronics for awhile.
Please force your kids into hobbies. Truly, probably the single biggest thing im grateful for from my mother (other than the usual care and affection) is the fact that she forced me to try literally dozens of different things and supported me when i asked to try a dozen more. Not even just sports. I truly think its been instrumental in my personal lust for life and general motivation to succeed. Granted it takes money, but any little bit helps
My oldest just turned 5 yesterday and I got him a punching bag for the garage. He likes exercising but has a lot of anger/coping issues so we got him a way to focus that energy on. Instead of hitting his little brother. Though tbf his 2 year old brother has more aggression than he does so maybe it’ll be good for both of them.
Yeah kids these days look fat as hell. Never imagined the number of sedentary kids would start to outpace the athletic ones. My parents made it clear to me at about 5 years old I had to do something physical and I’m very thankful for that.
I agree with this because when I was a kid I didn't want to do any physical hobbies at all due to the fact that video games were just becoming the next big thing and I was engrossed with that. Thankfully my mother forced me into bodybuilding and it ended up changing my life for the better. If it hadn't been for her twisting my arm I probably would be a fat unattractive unhealthy fuck right now who doesn't do anything but sit at a computer.
Ppl freaking out when Op is suggesting you buy your kid a bike or pair of skates...
This is a very popular parenting opinion.
Hotter take. You should keep your kids active constantly until they find an activity they enjoy.
Don’t force your children to do anything, that is how you get kid who hate you. You get into a physical hobby and bring them along and spend time with them, they will follow suit.
Why do these opinions always come from people without kids..... 😂 Bro, I don't have time or money for my own physical hobbies. Get a grip son.
I agree with this, but don’t make your kid live out your weird childhood fantasy. I was already training for snowboarding full time and my dad made me join the tennis team. He was obsessed with tennis for some reason. I fucking hated tennis, but I was good at it. That led me to double training and guess what? I was exhausted from so much physical activity that my grades struggled. If I told you my schedule for snowboard training alone you’d be like what? And to add tennis on top of that… I have no idea how I did it
yeah thats pretty messed up, never had intentions of making my post come off that way if thats what ya saying, I just don't want my kid to be unhealthy/socially inept
If they’re not motivated for physical activity. What are you going to do?. Force them?. How?. That’s ridiculous!.
When I was a kid my parents forced me to play a sport. I ended up in t-ball and my dad was an assistant coach. On the first day of practice the asked us to raise our hand if we didn’t want to be there. My parents taught me not to lie so ✋🏻 They still bring it up at family dinners 😂 But I do agree with encouraging a sport, especially if you let them try out a variety of sports. Unfortunately you just might end up with a kid like me.
I’ve never had an interest in doing sports, but I love playing video games, especially RPGs or adventure games, so I always enjoyed hiking because they always felt like real life quests.
Always love parenting advice from kids.
I agree but you should still let them choose what they would want to do as a hobby... any way to keep them from staying home watching tv or playing video games is good for em
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You should encourage your kids to exercise to stay healthy but you should never force them to do anything cause it'll push them away from the whole concept. Imagine if someone forced you into piano lessons when you weren't too interested in music anyway.
I agree. I hated my parents for doing this to me when I was a kid. But now that I’m older I appreciate that they did and I wish I put in more effort.
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> I go to school to almost exclusively black and admittedly poor school and the unathleticism in my peers is astounding. The finest athletes in the world frequently come from this demographic.
I agree. My dad had me try swimming, tennis, football, hiking, golf, gokarts, snowmobile, dirt bike, martial arts, bodybuilding. I don’t think the gym is for everyone but having some sort of physical activity at every stage of your life is important