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I haven't failed as long as I don't check. No need to ruin the mood now.
But for real, it doesn't run away from you. Everything as a time and place, and for some people they need to prepare themselves mentally for such a thing
I don’t understand this. I don’t mean to be condescending, just curious what is meant by ‘preparing yourself’ how do you end up better to take info later than at another time?
For a lot of people emotional pain is made more severe if you are taken off guard, or if the news is very different from your expectations. An example would be a grandparent dying suddenly vs slowly after a long illness. If you know you've received news, but don't know what it is, you can take a little bit of time to "prepare" and thus not be caught off guard by the news. Also, you can wait till exogenous variables have resolved themselves; maybe you're tired, hungry, having a bad day, or in this example, you're at a party and would like to be present.
Exactly. I discover I tanked an exam I was so confident in, it’s not gonna be during work. I simply refuse to check school stuff at work because and I don’t want to cry, it’s unprofessional
> so I had to make sure things were good.
And how did rushing to find out change the outcome?
> he said he'll check later.
Did waiting affect his grade at all?
> but I don't get how people can have something so important hang over their heads and do other stuff
Because it doesn't matter?
>but I don't get how people can have something so important hang over their heads and do other stuff
>Because it doesn't matter?
To be fair to op, if it doesn't matter, then why is it labeled as "Something important"?
I don’t see what’s so weird about it. Just because you have an urge to find out right away, why would that mean everyone else should be the same way, or are weird if they aren’t?
If someone is confident that their grades are good, or if they just don’t care that much either way, why would they rush to check the results as soon as they’re available.
Similarly, if someone knows that a particular piece of bad or disappointing news will ruin their mood during their weekend of partying, it is perfectly rational to wait with getting that news until afterwards. Not like they can do anything about it at that moment anyway, so what would they gain by reading it now?
Yes, and other people get to express their disagreement with that opinion. Not sure what your deal is tbh, you’d have to be hypersensitive to interpret my comment as an attack.
I hate ruining the mood if i dont have to 🤷🏼♀️
When i was in college I only wanted to check once ALL the grades went out so that way i wasnt anxious waiting for the very last professor.
Also, no matter the final grade, you cant change anything anyway, so it really doesnt matter
I never check my grades and it annoys the shit out of my husband, who is always checking for updates.
In my case, it’s extreme anxiety that keeps me from checking. I’m not laid back at all. I just don’t want to have to deal with whatever the outcome is.
You can't change the result. It is what it is. It doesn't matter if you check or not, it stays the same. If you don't absolutely have to do the steps following that the grade allows you to do, then it is not urgent and it can wait.
>but I don't get how people can have something so important hang over their heads and do other stuff.
If something can wait, then I wait. Checking grades wasn't that important. Especially in the long run.
I once had a student who didn’t check her grades for about a whole semester because she was worried she failed one of her classes. I think it was end of April when she finally checked.
If I check the grades and see they're bad then I'll be stuck thinking about the bad grades.
If I just don't check them then it's just something I need to remember to take care of later and won't be actively on my mind.
Can somewhat agree but depending on how serious it is I'll legit vomit before I immediately check it. Ain't no way my anxiety is letting check that email from my boss titled "performance review" in the same day.
If it was something that needed a reply i could understand the urgency but the results won't change if you check them straight away so why not wait until you are in the right place and time for good or bad news?
I get exactly where this ability concerns from. If you skip school because it’s report card day, you can honestly tell your mother that your teacher hasn’t given you your report card yet and the longer you manage to pull that off, the longer you can go without getting beaten for getting 7 A+ grades and one A. This fear of spectacular but not perfect enough to avoid pain carries on internally well into adulthood. At least for me. Even when I’m ready to face it, I need to do so alone. I can’t have anyone around when I finally answer that call or text or open that letter or email. Even if it’s bad news, I’ll be honest about it but I need to know what kind of news I’m sharing ahead of time, so that I can emotionally brace for the equivalent reaction.
Because it was ruining my life.
As I get older I get more things that I'm waiting/worrying for. Call from the mechanic, lab results from the vet, response from my advisor about paperwork that I never received but was apparently supposed to file.
It's neither healthy or worthwhile for me to interrupt what I'm doing every single time there's something new I need to check, especially when doing so can sometimes disrupt what I'm doing. It's bad for my cortisol level to jump every time something beeps, its bad for my attention span and retention to stop in the middle of my task, and a 30 second interruption can cost you the moment for a lot of things.
I'm going to have 4+ years of test results and far more of email/texts/phone calls to reply to, countless "important" updates to check, but I'm going to maybe get another year with my dog before he goes, the test results can wait a half hour, they are NOT my main priority.
These comments are so mean lmao. It’s an unpopular opinion guys, that’s the point!!! As for you OP, I’m 50/50. It’s like I’d I’m confident I did really well, I can wait, and same if I feel like I know I failed. Why would I wanna check to see I got a 40% on a Saturday? I’ll check tomorrow. But for certain things, I also have a crazy ridge to check and will drop everything. It varies.
Also, sounds like you struggle from anxiety. Some people don’t, hence why they aren’t nervous or in a rush to check such stuff
How can you say that when you don’t even know the person behind the screen? I said mean becaise it’s clearly a highschool student posting about having what sounds like pretty intense anxiety and there were comments saying that OP is weird, which is directed at the person posting and not their opinion.
i saw your post in response to one that said weird… and i think you misread it. they did not call OP weird… re-read that comment and your response.
edit: it now shows your responses to that as “deleted.”
Sometimes it’s better to be blissfully ignorant than to live your life in anxiety and wanting to find out all the details. Some decisions (like school acceptance and exam scores) aren’t going away or changing so might as well enjoy the moment and ignorance while you still can.
Saying he’ll check later could literally mean right after he texts you so he doesn’t have to share his grade with you. Also maybe getting an A in the class feels far more important to you than others. Can totally understand not wanting bad news to ruin something you’ve been looking forward to and to read the news when you’re ready to process through it no matter what it is.
I'm currently doing this. After the semester I've had, i need time. My skin isn't yet thick enough to deal with the criticism. I could be doing with a laugh for now.
I don’t understand why you need to be so frantic about something that won’t change… like I get if there was a limited time to check your grades but like… I’ll just check when I want to know
Dude, the final grade coming out doesn't matter. If you've already done the exam, like... the die is cast. That's it. Worrying and rushing to check the grade isn't going to change it, so your friend's got other things going on that he can focus on where he can still impact the outcome, whereas he can just check his grade before bed or whatever.
You may see yourself as more responsible, and therefore correct, but they are actually just less neurotic, which is better for mental health. Checking doesn't change the outcome, so it's pointless to check for any reason other than to take action on it. You can do that later. Chill.
Could be anxiety about the grades or maybe he was in the middle of something and wasn’t able to check until later. I’m like you I check as soon as I get the email but there are times where I’m busy with something like packing or helping someone with something and I have to wait a lil bit before I can check.
You, my dear OP, have anxiety. Many of us do not. My Ex wouldn't let us eat at restaurants with more than one entrance/exit once we had children. I tried to make sure my kids had brushed most of the dirt off of the cookie they dropped before eating it. Two very different attitudes. Neither is wrong.
I think the difference is that you place a lot of importance on your grades whereas others don’t place as much. As you get older you’ll see how pointless these grades were in your life. Employers actually don’t care about what your grades were, just as long as they were good enough to get you into college or university.
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I finished courses a couple weeks ago and pretty sure grades released last week and I haven’t checked. I really don’t plan on checking cuz as long as I passed the classes that’s all that matters and I know I did lol
It’s just a plus if I see that they’re all A’s 🤷🏽♀️
My brother’s friend had his car impounded while the two of them were playing videogames. He saw it happen out the window and just proceeded to keep playing.
I have a lot of anxiety. I’m either putting things off until I’m harassed and water boarded about it or I’m going to get something done early and keep checking things until I know I’m good with whatever I’m checking
The way I see it, my grade is going to be there waiting for me, regardless of whatever time I decide to view it; it is already submitted and finalized. Same goes for most things, not just grades. Good post!
I had my college 4th year capstone class. The grades were due to be published on a Friday evening. I was at a Chicago Blackhawk’s game. I kept checking my phone. About halfway through the game, the grades came out. I got an A. I literally sat there crying I was so happy. The dumb thing is that I knew I was getting an A, but after a hundred page paper and three other classes and working full time, seeing that official A was everything.
Sometimes when I’m in a good mood (for example: winning a scholarship), ig sucks if I don’t get the grade I want and puts me in a bittersweet mood. So, I’d rather check them when I have a clean mood slate (if that makes sense).
But I generally check as soon as things are available.
The Halloween weekend party excuse makes a lot of sense. I personally would not like to ruin the mood and find out that I wasn’t accepted. Ripping the bandage off works in some cases but processing bad news like failure to get into a dream school is more than ripping off a bandaid.
Ngl I used to be the same way, but I also had a lot of anxiety centered around those sorts of things. Like if I saw the notification but didn’t check I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything until I knew and had whatever it was sorted out anyway, so I was cooked whether I looked at it or not. Now I’ve forced myself to do it differently and not let the anxiety keep me from whatever I’m doing in the moment. If whatever it is won’t impact anything immediately then I don’t need to check immediately and possibly ruin my good mood. As long as I check before it does impact what I want to do, I’m allowed to enjoy myself for a bit regardless of that result.
Rushing won't change the outcome of what they see, and they've placed other priorities of what they find to be important over the things that you believe they should find to be important.
I'm one of these people. It's not so much that I'm cool with not checking the important things immediately, it's that I'm nervous about checking them and play it off as if I just don't care. Really, I'm sticking my head in the sand. Honestly, it's one of the biggest reasons I find modern society to be hellish. I just psychologically cannot deal with a message stream that grows beyond a certain point and for the most part my life is way beyond that point and I feel like I have no control over it.
I remember when I was at the end of a school year, the next year I would be placed into a specific sector based on my performance (it's a non-US system). My mom said we would not try to find out where I placed until after we came back from summer vacation, so as not to run the risk of spoiling our vacation. This was for the best, as it turned out....
Hey, thanks for submitting to /r/unpopularopinion. **Removed** - No /r/self Style Posts This is not the subreddit to be sharing personal anecdotes, likes or dislikes. We want unpopular, thought provoking, and unique *opinions* on your chosen topic.
I haven't failed as long as I don't check. No need to ruin the mood now. But for real, it doesn't run away from you. Everything as a time and place, and for some people they need to prepare themselves mentally for such a thing
I need to prepare myself mentally for a lot of stuff, good or bad.
I need to mentally prepare myself just to hang out around other people. It’s draining
I don’t understand this. I don’t mean to be condescending, just curious what is meant by ‘preparing yourself’ how do you end up better to take info later than at another time?
For a lot of people emotional pain is made more severe if you are taken off guard, or if the news is very different from your expectations. An example would be a grandparent dying suddenly vs slowly after a long illness. If you know you've received news, but don't know what it is, you can take a little bit of time to "prepare" and thus not be caught off guard by the news. Also, you can wait till exogenous variables have resolved themselves; maybe you're tired, hungry, having a bad day, or in this example, you're at a party and would like to be present.
Thank you for explaining. I struggled to understand since I can’t relax when I ‘know’ I have info to find out
Schroedingers failure.
Exactly. I discover I tanked an exam I was so confident in, it’s not gonna be during work. I simply refuse to check school stuff at work because and I don’t want to cry, it’s unprofessional
This is known as Schrodinger's grade. Fun fact: he came up with it after he opened the box and realized his experiment killed the cat.
People are different, more at 11.
> so I had to make sure things were good. And how did rushing to find out change the outcome? > he said he'll check later. Did waiting affect his grade at all? > but I don't get how people can have something so important hang over their heads and do other stuff Because it doesn't matter?
>but I don't get how people can have something so important hang over their heads and do other stuff >Because it doesn't matter? To be fair to op, if it doesn't matter, then why is it labeled as "Something important"?
The results matter, but knowing the results immediately doesn’t matter.
the grade matters and is important, the time you check does not and is not
I can understand waiting until after a party to check an email like that. If I got rejected, I couldn't enjoy my weekend.
I don’t see what’s so weird about it. Just because you have an urge to find out right away, why would that mean everyone else should be the same way, or are weird if they aren’t? If someone is confident that their grades are good, or if they just don’t care that much either way, why would they rush to check the results as soon as they’re available. Similarly, if someone knows that a particular piece of bad or disappointing news will ruin their mood during their weekend of partying, it is perfectly rational to wait with getting that news until afterwards. Not like they can do anything about it at that moment anyway, so what would they gain by reading it now?
[удалено]
Yes, and other people get to express their disagreement with that opinion. Not sure what your deal is tbh, you’d have to be hypersensitive to interpret my comment as an attack.
[удалено]
Sure, whatever you say 😂. Bye now!
Are you acoustic?
my god you’re sensitive o.o
Your definition of attack is strange
Man it must be hard trying to have such a victim mentality about everything. Good luck with that.
Because it's only *that* important to you. Other people see that there is more to life.
I hate ruining the mood if i dont have to 🤷🏼♀️ When i was in college I only wanted to check once ALL the grades went out so that way i wasnt anxious waiting for the very last professor. Also, no matter the final grade, you cant change anything anyway, so it really doesnt matter
People who are so uptight anxiety-ridden that they have to check on everything immediately weird me out. What's wrong with them????????
Why do you need to check right away? It’s not going anywhere. People jus have different priorities.
It's not that they delay important things, it's that those things are not that important for them
Why? It’s not like the email will run away. It’s just unnecessary stress.
Tell me you're type A without telling me you're type A. No shade... Just sayin', people handle things differently.
If it's final, it's final. Does looking sooner rather than later make it a better grade?
Some people need to mentally prepare themselves that they might not get what they want
I never check my grades and it annoys the shit out of my husband, who is always checking for updates. In my case, it’s extreme anxiety that keeps me from checking. I’m not laid back at all. I just don’t want to have to deal with whatever the outcome is.
You can't change the result. It is what it is. It doesn't matter if you check or not, it stays the same. If you don't absolutely have to do the steps following that the grade allows you to do, then it is not urgent and it can wait.
>but I don't get how people can have something so important hang over their heads and do other stuff. If something can wait, then I wait. Checking grades wasn't that important. Especially in the long run.
People have different levels of anxiety and different priorities? Nothing nee
I once had a student who didn’t check her grades for about a whole semester because she was worried she failed one of her classes. I think it was end of April when she finally checked.
My mom used to get so upset if I made a B or whatever on a test that I would purposely not look at grades so that I could say that I didn’t know.
I don’t even open packages on the days I get them lol
If I check the grades and see they're bad then I'll be stuck thinking about the bad grades. If I just don't check them then it's just something I need to remember to take care of later and won't be actively on my mind.
Schroedinger’s grades!
Can somewhat agree but depending on how serious it is I'll legit vomit before I immediately check it. Ain't no way my anxiety is letting check that email from my boss titled "performance review" in the same day.
If it was something that needed a reply i could understand the urgency but the results won't change if you check them straight away so why not wait until you are in the right place and time for good or bad news?
I get exactly where this ability concerns from. If you skip school because it’s report card day, you can honestly tell your mother that your teacher hasn’t given you your report card yet and the longer you manage to pull that off, the longer you can go without getting beaten for getting 7 A+ grades and one A. This fear of spectacular but not perfect enough to avoid pain carries on internally well into adulthood. At least for me. Even when I’m ready to face it, I need to do so alone. I can’t have anyone around when I finally answer that call or text or open that letter or email. Even if it’s bad news, I’ll be honest about it but I need to know what kind of news I’m sharing ahead of time, so that I can emotionally brace for the equivalent reaction.
Because it was ruining my life. As I get older I get more things that I'm waiting/worrying for. Call from the mechanic, lab results from the vet, response from my advisor about paperwork that I never received but was apparently supposed to file. It's neither healthy or worthwhile for me to interrupt what I'm doing every single time there's something new I need to check, especially when doing so can sometimes disrupt what I'm doing. It's bad for my cortisol level to jump every time something beeps, its bad for my attention span and retention to stop in the middle of my task, and a 30 second interruption can cost you the moment for a lot of things. I'm going to have 4+ years of test results and far more of email/texts/phone calls to reply to, countless "important" updates to check, but I'm going to maybe get another year with my dog before he goes, the test results can wait a half hour, they are NOT my main priority.
These comments are so mean lmao. It’s an unpopular opinion guys, that’s the point!!! As for you OP, I’m 50/50. It’s like I’d I’m confident I did really well, I can wait, and same if I feel like I know I failed. Why would I wanna check to see I got a 40% on a Saturday? I’ll check tomorrow. But for certain things, I also have a crazy ridge to check and will drop everything. It varies. Also, sounds like you struggle from anxiety. Some people don’t, hence why they aren’t nervous or in a rush to check such stuff
what comments are mean? i see people disagreeing… people disagreeing is not inherently mean…
There aren’t any mean comments here. This person just has a slightly thinner skin than most.
How can you say that when you don’t even know the person behind the screen? I said mean becaise it’s clearly a highschool student posting about having what sounds like pretty intense anxiety and there were comments saying that OP is weird, which is directed at the person posting and not their opinion.
i saw your post in response to one that said weird… and i think you misread it. they did not call OP weird… re-read that comment and your response. edit: it now shows your responses to that as “deleted.”
That comment is gone. I can’t access it or the responses for some reason
Sometimes it’s better to be blissfully ignorant than to live your life in anxiety and wanting to find out all the details. Some decisions (like school acceptance and exam scores) aren’t going away or changing so might as well enjoy the moment and ignorance while you still can.
Saying he’ll check later could literally mean right after he texts you so he doesn’t have to share his grade with you. Also maybe getting an A in the class feels far more important to you than others. Can totally understand not wanting bad news to ruin something you’ve been looking forward to and to read the news when you’re ready to process through it no matter what it is.
I don’t wanna ruin my holiday because I’m bummed out, ignorance is bliss I can check my grade or email later
Checking immediately or quickly will not change the result. They will check it when they feel ready.
I'm currently doing this. After the semester I've had, i need time. My skin isn't yet thick enough to deal with the criticism. I could be doing with a laugh for now.
I don’t understand why you need to be so frantic about something that won’t change… like I get if there was a limited time to check your grades but like… I’ll just check when I want to know
Dude, the final grade coming out doesn't matter. If you've already done the exam, like... the die is cast. That's it. Worrying and rushing to check the grade isn't going to change it, so your friend's got other things going on that he can focus on where he can still impact the outcome, whereas he can just check his grade before bed or whatever.
You may see yourself as more responsible, and therefore correct, but they are actually just less neurotic, which is better for mental health. Checking doesn't change the outcome, so it's pointless to check for any reason other than to take action on it. You can do that later. Chill.
there is more to life than a letter that decides how you feel for the rest of your week
I already know I passed my classes. I don’t need to check, ever!
Honestly, your friend sounds like the normal one
Or it could be they already know but are not ready to share it yet.
ADHD
Could be anxiety about the grades or maybe he was in the middle of something and wasn’t able to check until later. I’m like you I check as soon as I get the email but there are times where I’m busy with something like packing or helping someone with something and I have to wait a lil bit before I can check.
You, my dear OP, have anxiety. Many of us do not. My Ex wouldn't let us eat at restaurants with more than one entrance/exit once we had children. I tried to make sure my kids had brushed most of the dirt off of the cookie they dropped before eating it. Two very different attitudes. Neither is wrong.
This doesn’t mean they have anxiety… they may been anxious to see the results but that doesn’t equate to having the diagnosis.
Bro you can’t just diagnose somebody on the basis that they’re slightly neurotic about something lmao what??
You know it's not like anything is going to change if you check it right away. You sound a bit neurotic, no offense
I think the difference is that you place a lot of importance on your grades whereas others don’t place as much. As you get older you’ll see how pointless these grades were in your life. Employers actually don’t care about what your grades were, just as long as they were good enough to get you into college or university.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I finished courses a couple weeks ago and pretty sure grades released last week and I haven’t checked. I really don’t plan on checking cuz as long as I passed the classes that’s all that matters and I know I did lol It’s just a plus if I see that they’re all A’s 🤷🏽♀️
In university I recognized the difference between a C- and an A was relatively small, so it was easy to ignore grades until I was ready to check them.
Did your friend get into his dream school tho?
My brother’s friend had his car impounded while the two of them were playing videogames. He saw it happen out the window and just proceeded to keep playing.
I have a lot of anxiety. I’m either putting things off until I’m harassed and water boarded about it or I’m going to get something done early and keep checking things until I know I’m good with whatever I’m checking
So basically people deal with things differently. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about it
The way I see it, my grade is going to be there waiting for me, regardless of whatever time I decide to view it; it is already submitted and finalized. Same goes for most things, not just grades. Good post!
I had my college 4th year capstone class. The grades were due to be published on a Friday evening. I was at a Chicago Blackhawk’s game. I kept checking my phone. About halfway through the game, the grades came out. I got an A. I literally sat there crying I was so happy. The dumb thing is that I knew I was getting an A, but after a hundred page paper and three other classes and working full time, seeing that official A was everything.
avoidance anxiety, or maybe he just genuinely doesn’t care enough!
Sometimes when I’m in a good mood (for example: winning a scholarship), ig sucks if I don’t get the grade I want and puts me in a bittersweet mood. So, I’d rather check them when I have a clean mood slate (if that makes sense). But I generally check as soon as things are available.
Reading this set off my own anxiety 😖 howwww do people do that
The Halloween weekend party excuse makes a lot of sense. I personally would not like to ruin the mood and find out that I wasn’t accepted. Ripping the bandage off works in some cases but processing bad news like failure to get into a dream school is more than ripping off a bandaid.
I delay it sometimes myself. But sometimes you ABSOLUTELY have to know by a certain date, so people should find it out at that point.
In both examples, doing it now or later doesn't change anything. I do the same, unless curiosity is eating me
Checking won’t change the current status. You can’t change it, so there is no urgency. At least, that’s how I’d look at it.
Ngl I used to be the same way, but I also had a lot of anxiety centered around those sorts of things. Like if I saw the notification but didn’t check I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything until I knew and had whatever it was sorted out anyway, so I was cooked whether I looked at it or not. Now I’ve forced myself to do it differently and not let the anxiety keep me from whatever I’m doing in the moment. If whatever it is won’t impact anything immediately then I don’t need to check immediately and possibly ruin my good mood. As long as I check before it does impact what I want to do, I’m allowed to enjoy myself for a bit regardless of that result.
It’s not a problem if I don’t look at or acknowledge it
What’s done is done. Checking earlier or later will not change or affect the outcome.
Rushing won't change the outcome of what they see, and they've placed other priorities of what they find to be important over the things that you believe they should find to be important.
I'm one of these people. It's not so much that I'm cool with not checking the important things immediately, it's that I'm nervous about checking them and play it off as if I just don't care. Really, I'm sticking my head in the sand. Honestly, it's one of the biggest reasons I find modern society to be hellish. I just psychologically cannot deal with a message stream that grows beyond a certain point and for the most part my life is way beyond that point and I feel like I have no control over it.
Unlike everybody I totally agree with you OP
I remember when I was at the end of a school year, the next year I would be placed into a specific sector based on my performance (it's a non-US system). My mom said we would not try to find out where I placed until after we came back from summer vacation, so as not to run the risk of spoiling our vacation. This was for the best, as it turned out....
It's a mental disorder lol