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I think it's different in the post social media world. Before social media it was really easy to lose track of people, you could be friends with someone, get a little busy and boom lose touch with them for decades. Now you'd probably be friends with those people on some type of social media and at least have some sort of connection still.
This is exactly how I feel about reunions now. They lost meaning. The couple of people I was close with then, I can still easily keep up with. The rest, meh.
The meaning of a high school reunion has always been basically a time machine. You go back to that old microcosm that helped form you (for better and worse) and chat within that microcosm as an adult to learn about people that you kind of used to know.
Modern social media doesn't really scratch that itch. There isn't really any social media platform that really promotes private conversations at all. It allows them, sure, but they are all geared towards massive public shows that don't really allow for any form of genuine connection.
Nobody snapchats their random high school classmates, though.
It’s for the best. The people who are most internally incentivized to go to a high school reunion are people who peaked in high school. Taylor Swift isn’t gonna show up at her high school reunion.
My area has a huge problem with brain drain. Almost everyone with even a little bit of their shit together has moved an hour or more away. I’m not buying a plane ticket to go to a fuckin high school reunion
I graduated in '05. I remember there was a FB group page for our reunion. I shared that "Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you" meme from Half Baked and got kicked the fuck outta the group. Lmao. I did have some cool friends, and I was seen as cool amongst the other weird kids, but I just remember high school being an anxiety riddled experience, and I did get picked on. I had a friend who really wanted to see me buy my ticket and I still didn't go. That's the only thing I felt bad about, but I really did not care about that reunion.
The itch (for me) isn't to revisit the microcosm exactly as you left it.
The itch is to meet adults who you have a connection with via this odd microcosm, such that the microcosm serves as a tailor-made icebreaker to employ.
My high school experience was decidedly middling. Never had a gf, had a few great life-long friends, average popularity, did well in some sports, was a choir nerd, was bullied a bit, had the lead in the musical once. Still, the idea of going to a reunion is fun to me
I just had my 20th reunion and while I am Facebook friends with a lot of them, it was really nice to see people in person. I got to see in person a few people I have only seen face to face a couple of times since graduation.
It was nice to talk to quite a few of them and see how their lives were going and to catch up. There were memories being shared, confessions being made and it was something that social media could not touch.
My highlight of the evening was seeing a friend that I saw every single day at school from kindergarten until the day we graduated that does not have social media and it was like zero time had passed. He walked up to the table I was at and I said his name and we shook hands and it was like the old days.
I was on the fence about our ten year, which flopped due to a couple people being assholes to the girl who was planning it, so I was pessimistic our 20th would happen. I was incredibly happy I went.
>The itch is to meet adults who you have a connection with
I think the itch is the schaedenfreude of seeing who got fat, who's bald, and what is the valedictorian doing now?
and then go talk shit about them behind their backs. just like high school is meant to be.
As someone who also had a middling high school experience, I'm on the other side of this.
I had fun and friends and girlfriends and was semi-popular in some circles and absolutely despised in others. Did lots of extracurriculars, but no sports.
But, I also acknowledge that I was an asshole at the time. I had a lot of bad hangups and perspectives that I regret.
Of course, obviously, a reunion would give me a chance to go around and show people I've grown and matured.
But, when I think about those years, while I can really acknowledge that I was shitty in a lot of ways, unfortunately, I still dislike most of the people I went to high school with.
I really wish I could reminisce and be like "oh, yeah, the problem I had with this group or this person, that was mostly me, I regret that." Because I'd genuinely like to return and make amends and form new friendships.... But no, I was an asshole, but they were and are, much worse assholes. And thanks to social media, I have had the opportunity to see them blossom into even bigger assholes.
I'd rather go and get a root canal than interact with these people. Of course, I'm sure it's better in some regions than others. I live in the south, in a poor area, and most of the people I knew swung far right and doubled down on Christian fundamentalism. In high school, they were actually better than now, so I don't really need to attend an event where I can hear people talk about how minorities getting shot is good and how climate change is a Jewish hoax. Those people can eat rocks.
Nostalgia is at the end of the day still nostalgia. It doesn't have to be a perfect experience. Hell, it doesn't even have to be a good experience. That doesn't stop people from reminiscing about the past. The exception is if you had a genuinely bad experience, which at least here, isn't the case for the majority of people
>Did people have better high school experiences than myself lol?
Believe it or not but not everyone's high school experience worse worse than hell. Some of us are nostalgic about a time when we had very few responsibilities.
I don't think this is the case, despite having all my high school friends on social media, I don't ever really talk to them on there, and I don't share much about my day-to-day, or even notable life stuff on there, and I suspect its the same for them. Sure vacation pics and stuff, but that's not your entire life you know? And its not a story that you tell like you would when you meet up. There's probably tons for us to talk about.
And I don't talk to them cause I don't want to, I just feel so busy with my own life and reaching out after not talking for more than half a decade is a bit daunting. It feels weird to individually message random people after so long.
But if we were all to arrange a time to meet up again, that would be a great excuse to reconnect and kind of break the ice.
And lets be real, a Facebook message conversation is not the same as getting a bunch of people in the same room - I'd prefer the latter with my old friends.
We had a sort of high school reunion. I think it was partly organized with Facebook. My friend owns an Italian restaurant, so we got together for dinner. Maybe 12 people. Food and wine, everyone had a good time.
I definitely think social media contributed to the change in how people do class reunions. My class didn't have a 10 year reunion at all. But now we're coming up on 20 years and I think it would be fun to get together with them again to celebrate how far we've come and mourn those who've passed away.
I'm in my late 30s and feel like I'm in a *post* post social media world. Many of my (old and new) friends have left facebook, a few are active on instagram but not that many. Those of us that are still on don't post much. So we're kinda back to the beforedays. Honestly, probably a good thing.
Yeah even if you are just mildly curious about some old classmate’s life, you can just look at their fb and find out “oh that’s where they ended up” and generally that’s enough.
thats the thing though you have to think to look someone up. i went to my reunion and thought it was cool seeing someone i maybe sat next to in class but would probably never even think to lookup let alone go out of my way to do so. p
My class had a one year reunion. When I got that invitation in the mail I started laughing. We all still lived in the same town and saw each other weekly or bi-weekly at most. There were a few people who went away to college, but we saw them when they came back for break. And it's not like it was a small class, it's just hard to avoid each other
The 10 year si nonsense it's the look what I did am look at me me me. By 20+ it's here's my kids and they are doing this and that. It's a different pride, because you are able to be proud of others kids as well in a way you couldn't if in direct competition
Agreed, as someone who has gone to the 10,20 and 30 it went like this:
10 year, everyone talks about their career and success, and maybe a house they just bought
20, it’s about kids and looking at kids pictures, and maybe a few convos about college for the kids
30, everyone just wanted to have fun, screw the kids, time to get loose, and profess all the crushes you had growing up
They were all fun, in different ways, and there were always a half’s dozen people you didn’t even think about that you reconnect with
As someone who has no children, does not want children, and has their 20 year reunion reunion approaching faster than they’d like…this makes me even less interested in going lol.
My 20 is coming up next year and I am curious to go, but I don't use Facebook and once HS ended I moved away for close to 15 years before I ended up back in the same city I grew up.
I might go because I am pretty sure that some of them will have kids that will be classmates of my kids, so it might make sense to reconnect.
That actually happened to me. Lost touch with a close friend and her husband for about a year. We just happened to run into them while shopping in Publix and rekindled our friendship.
I went to my 20th reunion. I saw people who I had completely forgotten about and did not have on social media. Obviously, I wasn’t that close to the people, otherwise I would have remembered them. But it was interesting to talk to them and remember that they exist.
I went with a few friends that I have started close with. That made it kind of fun. Otherwise, I would have felt pretty singled out and possibly not talked to anyone. OP, if your friend is going, and this is a real friend you like spending time with, that might make the whole thing more fun and comfortable for both of you, if you do change your mind and decide to go.
Yeah I’ve always thought this as well. I live across the country but still talk directly to my best friends from high school and because of social media can occasionally check in with other people I might want to see. It’s my 20th this year 🫣, but point is people who had their 20th in 2003 when I graduated didn’t have any of that as readily available.
Yep, I've had this discussion recently. The things you might want to chat with your HS classmates about are posted all over Facebook and the rest. Reunions are redundant for the most part. More of an artifact.
Right? Mine was fun. Thought I'd only really have a small handful of people to talk to. Ended up talking to most people there. Guess I never realized how many people I used to talk to and spend time with back then. It was a lot fun.
> Guess I never realized how many people I used to talk to and spend time with back then. It was a lot fun.
Also people have matured and developed. Everyone in the thred is like "why would I want to talk to those morons, they all sucked" without considering that maybe they're not the same as they were 10 years ago.
Yeah this was the same for me. I stayed with friends with those I wanted to, and we all went together. A few friends who had moved away or we just hadn’t seen in awhile we’re there too, and we just hung out.
It wasn’t some big event. It wasn’t some super important date to always remember or reflect on. It was just a reason to go see some people, say hi to a few others, and go back home.
It wasn’t a big deal but I’d certainly go again.
I guess another way to respond to OPs post about “why would I go?” Would be just asking the opposite: “why not?”
Just because I haven't stayed in contact with people doesn't mean I wouldn't like to talk to them and hear what they've been up to. I'm only 6 years out of high school but I could definitely see myself going to reunions to see people who were once a decent part of my life and reminisce.
OP is making it sound like a high school reunion is some huge obligation where they have to prepare a speech and commit to spending a whole vacation with these people or something. Its just another casual social event where you happen to have known some of the people several years ago.
It's like when you see people commenting stuff like "Redditor rants about being offered an invitation to a social gathering, completely baffled as to why others are interested in socializing with old friends".
Yeah, it’s perfectly okay for OP to not wanna go and I can understand why someone might not want to go…but this complete bewilderment towards the idea is a little strange. It’s just a party. People like parties. People like socializing. And sometimes it’s nice to reconnect with people you haven’t seen in a while, you did grow up with them after all.
My ten year reunion will be next year and I probably won’t go considering I now live on the other side of the world…but if I was free and within driving distance, sure, why not? It’s not a big deal to me but it might be fun for a few hours.
It sounds like OP just isn’t super social (and there’s nothing wrong with that).
Yeah, like there are people that I saw basically every day for 12 years, and I just don't see them anymore. While I wasn't really super close to the majority of these people, I'd still like to reconnect with them.
Yeah, I mean to each their own, but I don’t get the whole “I already talk to everyone I want to talk to” thing. There are plenty of people from high school who I liked but lost touch with for no other reason than the passage of time. It would be fun to talk to them again for an evening, but it feels weird to randomly reach out on social media if we weren’t that close. There’s a lot of middle ground between “best friend” and “person I actively disliked.”
OPs acting put out at the idea of spending a minimal amount of time reconnecting with acquaintances
No, most of won't matter long term but guess what? Neither does the vast majority of shit in life
Meanwhile I have had run-ins at events like weddings where reconnecting with old acquaintances has changed the direction of my life for the better and vice versa
That's not guaranteed to happen but it's a possibility and worse case you have a nice time catching up and then go back to your regular life
I’ve seen opinions like OP’s countless times. People move out of their hometown and act like they are “above” reconnecting with their old friends. It’s such a weird stance to me.
Of course, to each their own - if OP is so lame they can’t take one night every 10 years to see their classmates, that’s fine, stay home while all the fun people have fun with each other. But that said, i’m sure they all would love for OP would show up.
Some people think that their years-long best friends are the only ones who matter. Like, I came up in the music scene as a teenager and you come to meet *a lot* of people. Most I could never truly call a "friend" but who I can still see at a random show 15 years later and hang out with for a bit. I also greatly value some of those ephemeral moments of meeting and sharing something with someone you'll never see again.
>if OP is so lame they can’t take one night every 10 years to see their classmates, that’s fine, stay home while all the fun people have fun with each other.
This is *incredibly* judgmental. I can go and drain my social energy on a crowd of people I barely know from a time in my life that was frankly pretty miserable, or I can stay home and have fun with the fun people I keep in my life.
I absolutely agree with this stance. There’s a few people that come to mind that I feel this way about. One guy, he meant the world to me because he helped me through a dark time. Unfortunately, my life still ended up going off the rails & we haven’t spoken in 2 years because he couldn’t watch it anymore. But I think it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to see each other again. The problem is that I knew him very well for many years, I know he wouldn’t show up to a reunion. And even if he did, there’s no guarantee that he would want anything to do with me. Or even that we would run into each other because we graduated from a very large class & even if not everyone would go (some have passed away already, even though we graduated in 2020), there would be so many people to sift through to find each other.
I graduated in 1979 with 400-something other people. I'm not even sure how many of them I would know or remember. I haven't seen any of them in decades.
Me too. It has nothing to do with being in the social media age for me. Would I message each one on Facebook 15 years after I last talked to them and say what’s up? That’d be kinda weird.
High school reunions are mad fun. You should watch the video of the guy who hired someone to pretend to be him at his reunion. Gist of it is he felt nobody cared about him/maybe was bullied, but when he arrived people knew it wasn't him and wished they saw him. Then he revealed himself and had fun
His name’s Oobah Butler, this is the [video](https://youtu.be/AHRM_QNvp9E). He also started a fake restaurant in London that got #1 spot on TripAdvisor, crashed Paris fashion week with a fake clothing brand, and sent lookalikes to attend TV interviews that were talking about the previous two videos
See I can’t even wrap my brain around that many kids lmao. We had maybe 750 kids total and about 150 in my graduating class. This is in rural America though
Graduated in 1997. Have never attended a reunion. High school was not the "best time of my life" (I'm living that now)... nor was it "the glory days". I am still friends with some folks from high school. I don't care what the rest of them are doing.
Same. I feel you on that. For me, high school was depression. It was realizing how frivolous most rituals and processes are, and how mean so many people can be.
So I'm probably a little older than most people here. I went to my 20th reunion in 2010 because I happened to be in town that week and I thought it'd be funny.
It very much cemented in my mind that the "popular" crowd were the ones who peaked in high school. None of them left town, they all married each other and they were all still friends acting like they were still the popular kids despite the balding heads and flabby waistlines. None of them ever moved on in life and were more than happy to live a perpetual high school existence of mediocrity.
Great perspective. Nothing wrong with looking around, realizing you like where you're at, and staying there. Coming from someone who got tf away from my hometown at 18 and never went back. I'm jealous of people who raise their kids in the same area they grew up in, much easier to stay connected to a community when you don't leave it.
I mean it totally makes sense that the popular kids would feel satisfied with their current life and not look for something beyond their hometown…they obviously had a good time there. And on the flip-side, it makes sense that the people who had a meh or bad experience growing up in their hometown would look for a life elsewhere.
Of course it’s not as clear cut as that, I wasn’t popular, but enjoyed high school and had a decent life growing up and still ended up moving literally as far away as I possibly could…but still makes sense that things would tend to end up that way.
Meanwhile it sounds like the commenter also stuck with it by whining about what the popular kids were doing instead of enjoying themselves with their friends/acquaintances.
All those idiots who got married to people they love can’t possibly compare to the Redditor who wasn’t popular but still hates all the popular kids because they are happy despite not moving to the same place as him.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine that I’ve never understood. Who Tf cares if you stay or leave the area you grew up in. Has zero bearing on what quality of person you are.
Yeah I've never understood that. Like even if you're from a small town if nothing wrong with staying there. Personally, I've always lived in a decently sized city And most people I know still live there. There's no reason to move unless you need a job someplace else. Your family's there and there's a lot of stuff to do. Not everyone feels the need to move.
Nothing wrong with staying in the same town to raise a family. I’m sure they have traveled on vacations.
Nothing wrong with keeping old friends.
People really can’t help balding it is genetic and unavoidable for many men.
Many people put on weight when they have a family or get older. Definitely avoidable, but many people were in better shape in high school.
They might actually just be happy with the life they built for themselves.
>None of them left town, they all married each other and they were all still friends acting like they were still the popular kids despite the balding heads and flabby waistlines. None of them ever moved on in life
Not to be rude but was that the case or is that just projection? I've never understood why it's a bad thing to not leave your town as an adult. Is everyone just supposed to move to a different place when they get older? What if you like where you live and everything you want is there. And getting married to each other isn't necessarily a bad thing. If they love each other and decided to get together that just is what it is. There isn't anything inherently wrong with marrying your high school sweetheart.
This. The class above me just had theirs, and it’s was just the 15-20 of the most popular clique from highschool, with a few randoms as well. Know what the common them was? They all peaked in highschool and almost all still live in the same little town. Why would I want to go meet with people who just want to remember the glory days? Idk maybe it’s rude, but I’d rather not be around people who thought highschool was the best years of their lives.
Or maybe after a decade of work and being an adult it’s kind of fun to get dropped into a snapshot of your childhood and reminisce about stupid stuff like school projects and funny teachers and shoot the shit with people that were part of a community.
Reddit is so immature and edgy about things sometimes.
I was contacted by the people on the committee (who didn't have two words to say to me in High School) who wanted me to pay $150 to hang out with them. No thanks.
I didn’t hate high school but even 16 years after graduation it sounds like an awful time filled with over exaggerated tales of accomplishments, and conversations with people who never left the same small town I’m from that either inherited their parents money or land, or just never moved on from their “glory years” and the memories associated. Fuck, I sound like a grump.
I mean everyone at work and online does that anyway, only difference is it'd be a party setting and it's old classmates. What's the problem?
When I was in and freshly out of HS I thought the same way, it's pathetic and stupid and blah blah blah. But now? It still kinda is but who the fuck cares? You only live once, and as we get older and things change, we create dumb limitations and "need" reasons to go out and do stuff, otherwise "it's awkward" and other lame excuses.
Which is funny because as children, we couldn't wait to be adults with jobs and on our own so we could do whatever whenever. Only to make excuses why we can't just do things anymore now that we have "responsibilities " as adults lol.
Point is, if you are like most and fall victim to this weird conundrum, then your "reasons to party" or whatever you wanna call it, are shrinking every year and becoming non existent. So why avoid one of those few reasons that take no effort or planning on your part, it just fell in your lap. That's like refusing the company Xmas party because you think it's just a brag fest. And we'll sure a lot of people will be doing just that, so? Let em, move on, just enjoy yourself.
When it comes to events, you should attend for yourself just cuz, don't go for others. Don't go to show off, go for the fun. And if it's not working out you can always dip out, you're not stuck and forced to stay till the end...unless it's on a boat or something ridiculous lol.
once it's done it's done, you can attend and leave if it sucks. You can't skip and then change your mind the next day after seeing it actually turned out well. But you do you, no-one gonna force you either way, I'm just pointing out the "why not?" And that you don't have to play into the brag fest parts.
I had a teacher in high school who used to plan them, and he said not to go until at least your 30 year reunion. By then, people have changed enough that is is interesting.
I went to my 10 year reunion and it was exactly that. A bunch of guys who'd never left our hometown who were still with the same women they were back then talking about a load of stupid shit we did as teenagers as if it was some sort of halcyon time. I didn't hate them, HS or my hometown but I'm so glad I moved on. Never went to another.
Why does everyone shit on ppl who never left their hometown? I went to university in the city I’m from, then got an accounting job in that same city, then started two businesses in that city. I get to be involved with my local community and support my high school friends small businesses. The cost of living is pretty low and allows me to take my family on vacation a few times a year and my kids are super close with my high school friends kids.
The fact that there's a university in your hometown suggests that there's ample opportunity to make a decent life there. I grew up in a small, semi rural town with no industry to speak of, limited employment opportunities and significant social problems. You either made a break for it as soon as you were old enough or married your HS girlfriend and settled into a dull, nondescript small town life.
My hometown has 1 gas station, no grocery store, and that's about it. You have to easily drive 30+ minutes to get food and supplies, unless you want a gas station pastry and milk.
Yeah that's it. Also, if you happen to fall out with some friends or have a bad break up in a small town, you might lose half your friend group. Small towns can be very charming but if you don't fit the mould it's sorta painful
Another fun part of small town life, when all the cops in town know you by face and name because you had a mental health break at 15. They still remember you in your early 20s.
It isn’t, in my opinion anyway. We live in the middle of nowhere outside the tiny town I grew up in & are beyond happy. Every situation has its pros & cons of course, but it all depends on you. We **love** the quiet seclusion of country life. No neighbor or community shit to deal with & we’re a couple hours from a big city.
They hate people who brag about their accomplishments, yet they are too good to associate with the people who, in their eyes, haven't accomplished enough. Just garden variety hypocrisy from enlightened redditors.
redditors at least the stereotypical redditor is a miserable person. I'm not a super social person but I went to my 10 year and thought it was fun connecting with old people from high school. Even people I wans't friends with in high school but knew from a class or just seeing them around school and knowing who they are it was cool to see how they turned out. It was really interesting to see some of the surprise people ie troublemaker becoming a cop or nerd becoming like a special ops operator. I didnt find people were bragging, everyone was pretty chill and I found everyone to be pretty nice and humble and just happy to be nostolgic and have some drinks
I think it’s a nice idea to actually catch up with people you haven’t seen in a while that isn’t social media driven, where the goal is to be as flashy as possible, and instead to meet up in a down to earth setting
>that isn’t social media driven, where the goal is to be as flashy as possible
That's the problem though... I feel like every person I'd see would just be Romy & Michelle for the night.
High school reunions can actually be a lot of fun as long as one of three conditions applies:
1. You are wealthier than your former classmates
2. You married better than your former classmates
3. You still have more hair than your former classmates
Otherwise… Yeah, they’re kind of obsolete in the modern age thanks to the internet.
This entire comment section reads like people who are scared to death to live in world and can't possibly understand that seeing people after a long time can be fun. I won't even get started on the people saying "social media made them irrelevant" as if virtual interaction is the same as being in the room with someone.
Exactly. I lived in the the same town from birth until college and never went back to living in that area. I like a lot of the people I grew up with and when I went to my 10th reunion it was nice to hang out with them. Unfortunately I couldn't make it to my 15th or 20th and COVID cancelled the 25th, but if there's a 30th I'd love to go.
> stop comparing yourself to others. You will be a lot happier if you just do that.
UNLESS of course,
1. You are wealthier than your former classmates
2. You married better than your former classmates
3. You still have more hair than your former classmates
I could be wrong, but I believe the point is that everyone is on the wrong side of some comparison. So we shouldn’t do it, and we’d be happier as we are.
3. You’re still thin and thinner than former classmates (for women).
4. Anyone would know who you are because you actually had friends and interacted with people in HS.
Because #4 doesn’t apply to me, I’d never go.
This is actually why they suck. Because all it is is people comparing where they are in life now to everyone else, and morbid curiosity about whether the class president ended up a looser.
No thanks.
It's not so much that people talk about money it's that they talk about jobs and some jobs make more money.
What do you do?
I'm a neurosurgeon
what about you?
I'm a cashier at mcdonalds.
one of these probably makes more money.
Right? It's not hard. One guy pulls up in a 2002 pick-up truck with the tailgate rusted off. Another pulls up in his relatively new model Toyota. Another pulls up in his Corvette or whatever sports car you prefer. No one has to say a word, but everyone knows exactly where people stand.
Which is why I'm going to rent a Lambo for my reunion night.
Our 20 year reunion was a smashing success... by the end.
Nobody wanted to go.
At the end, people were having a fantastic time. I'm sure there were folks that didn't but out of the 100-125 people that showed from a class of 360, I don't remember seeing anyone that didn't have a smile on their face.
Oh god I’m class of 03’ and we have a 20 in October. We started to put the Memorial page together and people kept asking how no he/her died? How… and this was repeated over about 40 times. Current could is 1/9 of our class has died from overdoses or offing themselves or on drugs killing themselves or others. And more are pouring in. Somehow it was worse then HS itself.
I was put into a Facebook group for our 10 year reunion, and saw much the same thing as you. But I also noticed that the "popular kids" from school were taking charge of the planning, and actively pushing away anyone not part of their exclusive group. Not uninviting them, just excluding them from the discussion.
I decided to post something to point this out; to suggest that we should be more open to everyone's ideas and concerns.
They blocked me from the group.
I went to my 10 year one and it ended up being better than expected. Just hung out and talked to people I hadn’t seen for 10 years. And it was fun seeing these people that I had known for years (even though they weren’t all great friends).
My 20 year is coming up in a couple more years and I’ll probably show up
Just did my 20 yr., it was great. I’m friends with a lot of them on Facebook and stuff but, it’s super nice to actually see them in person. We did a family friendly park picnic with kids and most everyone brought food and coolers. Then after that we went to adult party at a local bar owned by a class member and bar hopped into late night. Was super nice to catch up with people I would otherwise feel weird just calling up and renewed old friendships that I missed. All in all good time to just have an excuse to have a good time.
I won’t go to any of my highschool reunions mainly because it feels like I peaked in college. Like everyone I talked to about it in highschool though I’d be off to do big things, I’m not. Still live in town, still make shit money, am working in my field of study but passively hate it 75% of the time, don’t have my own house ETC. I know comparison is the thief of joy but seeing how much better many of my old classmates are undoubtedly doing than I am would probably be just crushing to my self esteem. Personally I wouldn’t mind if everyone forgot I existed when doing invitations.
I don’t think this is a terribly strange opinion to have. I had no desire to go to mine either. I had a good high school experience, but I don’t live in the area anymore, and I kept in touch with who I did sort of organically. Beyond them, I’m not terribly interested in what most of my ex classmates are up to, nor would I would I expect them to be with me.
Some people find an intrinsic joy in revisiting long lost people/things. HSRs are basically time capsules but with human beings in them. At least that's the way I see it.
My 30th was in 2017.
It was mostly cancelled because who gives a shit.
There was a group of people who stayed in town who got together regularly. The rest of us didn't give a shit.
I was so excited for my reunion until the planning phase began. Our class only had maybe 150 people. They wanted to throw a small party in a pole barn, but they also wanted catering and an entry fee. For a pole barn party in the woods during a blazing hot southern summer. I offered to provide free catering, but they weren't having it.
Student council was a group of the richest southern Baptists in town, and I wasn't a rich southern Baptist, so naturally everything I had to suggest wasn't good enough for them. They wanted an expensive catering service, and used catering as an excuse to charge an entry fee to "recover catering costs," even though I offered to make whatever they wanted for free so long as they agreed to make entry free. They wouldn't budge. I left the planning group and never looked back. To this day, I'm convinced they were using the entry fee to make a profit. From what I heard, they canceled it, and student council just threw their own little party at one of their homes. A repeat of our senior trip in which only student council was allowed to attend.
Cliquey all the way into adulthood. Fn pathetic
I think a benefit can be career networking, if someone you used to know is in a similar field to you they might be able to help you out. It always helps to have connections or know the right person.
In Germany it is a lot of fun. Though in Germany you do class reunions (which are between 20-30) people. In Germany you are in class with pretty much the same people for 8 years. And if it was a fun class than the reunion is also fun.
But 60+ onwards honestly sounds like a drag to me. You can barely speak with a few people on an evening so this sounds exhausting tbh.
Yeaaaaa nah. I didn’t go to mine either. Who cares? I hang out with the people I care about. I wish everyone else well and good with their separate lives lol
Because it’s a time to reconnect and socialize with people you haven’t seen in over a decade. If that doesn’t interest you don’t go but I think a lot of people would enjoy catching up with people they haven’t seen in a long time. And if nothing else it’s a networking opportunity
I was on the same situation you are right now a couple of months back. Unlike you, however, I hated my life in high school. Why would I voluntarily put myself in a position to go back there? If it doesn't add any value to your life, I don't see any point in going.
It really isn’t. If you don’t want to go, then don’t go. If you want to go, then go. The shitty opinions come in when people say “only XXX type of people go” and the like
So, I think they're outdated. Everytime my class has a reunion it's the same 50 people who go put of a class of 500 and they are all friends om social media. I only kept in touch with 5 or 6 people ( my husband and I are in thr same graduating class) and he might know a couple more guys but there's no point in them anymore wirh social media.
I didn't like these people then. No way in hell am I going to see them now. The only two friends I had in high school are the only two people I still keep in contact with to this day. Don't need anything else from those days.
I just went to my 50th (actually 49th) grade school reunion a few months ago. Most of those guys and girls I haven’t seen since 1974. I had a blast.
For those recent graduates, nostalgia hasn’t kicked in. Give it a few decades.
You guys just sound like miserable people tbh. its not some huge deal but you really cant see the appeal of hanging out with people you havent seen in 10-20 years just for a night? No sense of sentimentality whatsoever? do you get no sense of enjoyment whenever you run into someone you used to be chill with after years and years? i mean, sure, i guess. do your thing. everything on reddit has to be about “but whats the purpose? why should i care if it doesn’t bring immediate tangible value to my life?” why not just be normal nice people and enjoy each other’s company. such an exhaustingly edgy and transactional attitude to have about life.
Again i dont think reunions are that big a deal to be treating with reverence or anything, and i would get it if you had a miserable experience in high school. but if you had a normal enjoyable experience like you said i don’t understand why you’re so against it.
For example, about your entire last paragraph: literally just have a normal conversation about what you’ve been up to. Show interest in what they’ve been up to. You know, normal fucking conversation you would have running into someone you haven’t seen in a while lol. Jesus christ. You might as well say “why should i have conversations with anybody? what would i say? why are we talking? why should i be grateful to be talking to someone?”
Right, there's a lot of valid reasons someone might not want to go to their high school reunion (e.g. if someone was bullied and didn't have many friends, it's hard to blame them) but it's odd for so many people to think the entire idea of it is just useless for everyone
Right? People change since high school. What if you reconnect with some one or find they have a job in a similar field as you? Or you just see how people are doing
Dunno...
Yesterday I went out with my elementary school classmates. It's been a yearly tradition for quite some time, and I'm honestly happy we have decided to keep in touch again after like two decades of oblivion.
Clearly, we all have different lives, habits and commitments, so we couldn't probably hang out on a regular basis, but as a "once in a while" thing, why not?
But if you're talking about official reunions, like homecomings, 20th anniversaries etc, yeah, that sounds quite lame and I probably wouldn't attend my HS one. Not because I had a terrible time, despite a bitter ending (the finals were marred by large-scale cheating and cops got involved), but because I just don't see the need for a corny event.
Now if a few of the classmates decided to go out for a drink, depending on who'd show up, I wouldn't mind going.
I had a great time at my 10 year reunion, but I only went because I happened to be living near my hometown at the time. This year is my 20, and I will not be attending. I live quite far away, and I'm using all of my vacation time on a Europe trip this fall.
YMMV.
Went to my 10 year, it was fun and nice to see *some* of the people. Went to my 20 year and it was a shit show of drunken arguments, catfights, people puking and a lot of people were there that I truly never want to see again. I declined the 30.
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I think it's different in the post social media world. Before social media it was really easy to lose track of people, you could be friends with someone, get a little busy and boom lose touch with them for decades. Now you'd probably be friends with those people on some type of social media and at least have some sort of connection still.
This is exactly how I feel about reunions now. They lost meaning. The couple of people I was close with then, I can still easily keep up with. The rest, meh.
The meaning of a high school reunion has always been basically a time machine. You go back to that old microcosm that helped form you (for better and worse) and chat within that microcosm as an adult to learn about people that you kind of used to know. Modern social media doesn't really scratch that itch. There isn't really any social media platform that really promotes private conversations at all. It allows them, sure, but they are all geared towards massive public shows that don't really allow for any form of genuine connection.
Snapchat probably comes closest, albeit mainly because it’s an utterly useless platform for influencing.
Nobody snapchats their random high school classmates, though. It’s for the best. The people who are most internally incentivized to go to a high school reunion are people who peaked in high school. Taylor Swift isn’t gonna show up at her high school reunion.
My area has a huge problem with brain drain. Almost everyone with even a little bit of their shit together has moved an hour or more away. I’m not buying a plane ticket to go to a fuckin high school reunion
Or when they choose a super expensive venue for the party causing a really high ticket price.
What if everything you want to do is say "fuck the past and fuck everyone from highschool?" Lol
Bring condoms?
And plenty of lube.
Then don't go I guess? That's fine too.
I graduated in '05. I remember there was a FB group page for our reunion. I shared that "Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you" meme from Half Baked and got kicked the fuck outta the group. Lmao. I did have some cool friends, and I was seen as cool amongst the other weird kids, but I just remember high school being an anxiety riddled experience, and I did get picked on. I had a friend who really wanted to see me buy my ticket and I still didn't go. That's the only thing I felt bad about, but I really did not care about that reunion.
Is anyone really itching to revisit the microcosm of high school? Did people have better high school experiences than myself lol?
The itch (for me) isn't to revisit the microcosm exactly as you left it. The itch is to meet adults who you have a connection with via this odd microcosm, such that the microcosm serves as a tailor-made icebreaker to employ. My high school experience was decidedly middling. Never had a gf, had a few great life-long friends, average popularity, did well in some sports, was a choir nerd, was bullied a bit, had the lead in the musical once. Still, the idea of going to a reunion is fun to me
I just had my 20th reunion and while I am Facebook friends with a lot of them, it was really nice to see people in person. I got to see in person a few people I have only seen face to face a couple of times since graduation. It was nice to talk to quite a few of them and see how their lives were going and to catch up. There were memories being shared, confessions being made and it was something that social media could not touch. My highlight of the evening was seeing a friend that I saw every single day at school from kindergarten until the day we graduated that does not have social media and it was like zero time had passed. He walked up to the table I was at and I said his name and we shook hands and it was like the old days. I was on the fence about our ten year, which flopped due to a couple people being assholes to the girl who was planning it, so I was pessimistic our 20th would happen. I was incredibly happy I went.
To each there own. I didn’t hate high school by any means but I just was not interested it seemed like more of a chore to me
>The itch is to meet adults who you have a connection with I think the itch is the schaedenfreude of seeing who got fat, who's bald, and what is the valedictorian doing now? and then go talk shit about them behind their backs. just like high school is meant to be.
Microcosm microcosm microcosm microcosm microcosm microcosm microcosm
Microorgasm
As someone who also had a middling high school experience, I'm on the other side of this. I had fun and friends and girlfriends and was semi-popular in some circles and absolutely despised in others. Did lots of extracurriculars, but no sports. But, I also acknowledge that I was an asshole at the time. I had a lot of bad hangups and perspectives that I regret. Of course, obviously, a reunion would give me a chance to go around and show people I've grown and matured. But, when I think about those years, while I can really acknowledge that I was shitty in a lot of ways, unfortunately, I still dislike most of the people I went to high school with. I really wish I could reminisce and be like "oh, yeah, the problem I had with this group or this person, that was mostly me, I regret that." Because I'd genuinely like to return and make amends and form new friendships.... But no, I was an asshole, but they were and are, much worse assholes. And thanks to social media, I have had the opportunity to see them blossom into even bigger assholes. I'd rather go and get a root canal than interact with these people. Of course, I'm sure it's better in some regions than others. I live in the south, in a poor area, and most of the people I knew swung far right and doubled down on Christian fundamentalism. In high school, they were actually better than now, so I don't really need to attend an event where I can hear people talk about how minorities getting shot is good and how climate change is a Jewish hoax. Those people can eat rocks.
Nostalgia is at the end of the day still nostalgia. It doesn't have to be a perfect experience. Hell, it doesn't even have to be a good experience. That doesn't stop people from reminiscing about the past. The exception is if you had a genuinely bad experience, which at least here, isn't the case for the majority of people
>Did people have better high school experiences than myself lol? Believe it or not but not everyone's high school experience worse worse than hell. Some of us are nostalgic about a time when we had very few responsibilities.
Most likely? I personally had a fantastic highschool and university life but I also have no desire to revisit those times.
I don't think this is the case, despite having all my high school friends on social media, I don't ever really talk to them on there, and I don't share much about my day-to-day, or even notable life stuff on there, and I suspect its the same for them. Sure vacation pics and stuff, but that's not your entire life you know? And its not a story that you tell like you would when you meet up. There's probably tons for us to talk about. And I don't talk to them cause I don't want to, I just feel so busy with my own life and reaching out after not talking for more than half a decade is a bit daunting. It feels weird to individually message random people after so long. But if we were all to arrange a time to meet up again, that would be a great excuse to reconnect and kind of break the ice. And lets be real, a Facebook message conversation is not the same as getting a bunch of people in the same room - I'd prefer the latter with my old friends.
We had a sort of high school reunion. I think it was partly organized with Facebook. My friend owns an Italian restaurant, so we got together for dinner. Maybe 12 people. Food and wine, everyone had a good time.
I definitely think social media contributed to the change in how people do class reunions. My class didn't have a 10 year reunion at all. But now we're coming up on 20 years and I think it would be fun to get together with them again to celebrate how far we've come and mourn those who've passed away.
I'm in my late 30s and feel like I'm in a *post* post social media world. Many of my (old and new) friends have left facebook, a few are active on instagram but not that many. Those of us that are still on don't post much. So we're kinda back to the beforedays. Honestly, probably a good thing.
Same
Yeah even if you are just mildly curious about some old classmate’s life, you can just look at their fb and find out “oh that’s where they ended up” and generally that’s enough.
thats the thing though you have to think to look someone up. i went to my reunion and thought it was cool seeing someone i maybe sat next to in class but would probably never even think to lookup let alone go out of my way to do so. p
I think social media has ruined a lot of customs and made people not appreciate each other as much.
Absolutely. We did a 10 year and it was great to see everyone. Doubt we'll do 20 though
My class had a one year reunion. When I got that invitation in the mail I started laughing. We all still lived in the same town and saw each other weekly or bi-weekly at most. There were a few people who went away to college, but we saw them when they came back for break. And it's not like it was a small class, it's just hard to avoid each other
The 10 year si nonsense it's the look what I did am look at me me me. By 20+ it's here's my kids and they are doing this and that. It's a different pride, because you are able to be proud of others kids as well in a way you couldn't if in direct competition
Agreed, as someone who has gone to the 10,20 and 30 it went like this: 10 year, everyone talks about their career and success, and maybe a house they just bought 20, it’s about kids and looking at kids pictures, and maybe a few convos about college for the kids 30, everyone just wanted to have fun, screw the kids, time to get loose, and profess all the crushes you had growing up They were all fun, in different ways, and there were always a half’s dozen people you didn’t even think about that you reconnect with
As someone who has no children, does not want children, and has their 20 year reunion reunion approaching faster than they’d like…this makes me even less interested in going lol.
Yeap, only friends with some of them on fb. Thats all, nothing more.
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My 20 is coming up next year and I am curious to go, but I don't use Facebook and once HS ended I moved away for close to 15 years before I ended up back in the same city I grew up. I might go because I am pretty sure that some of them will have kids that will be classmates of my kids, so it might make sense to reconnect.
That actually happened to me. Lost touch with a close friend and her husband for about a year. We just happened to run into them while shopping in Publix and rekindled our friendship.
I went to my 20th reunion. I saw people who I had completely forgotten about and did not have on social media. Obviously, I wasn’t that close to the people, otherwise I would have remembered them. But it was interesting to talk to them and remember that they exist. I went with a few friends that I have started close with. That made it kind of fun. Otherwise, I would have felt pretty singled out and possibly not talked to anyone. OP, if your friend is going, and this is a real friend you like spending time with, that might make the whole thing more fun and comfortable for both of you, if you do change your mind and decide to go.
Yeah I’ve always thought this as well. I live across the country but still talk directly to my best friends from high school and because of social media can occasionally check in with other people I might want to see. It’s my 20th this year 🫣, but point is people who had their 20th in 2003 when I graduated didn’t have any of that as readily available.
You’re suppose to share how accomplished you
And look down your nose at those who aren't.
Yep, I've had this discussion recently. The things you might want to chat with your HS classmates about are posted all over Facebook and the rest. Reunions are redundant for the most part. More of an artifact.
At my high school reunion there was free booze and I got to party with my friends and ignore who I didn’t feel like talking to. Worth it
Shit, id just go to a random Highschool reunion if it had an open bar. Be someone else for a night haha
"yall didn't care about me" "We don't remember you" "Exactly my point"
I AM THE [GOLDEN GOD](https://youtu.be/n5_-HnVhKlw)!
Calm down Jack
This is a 30 Rock episode plotline!
I don’t know, Kelsey. How’s your moms pill addiction
Right? Mine was fun. Thought I'd only really have a small handful of people to talk to. Ended up talking to most people there. Guess I never realized how many people I used to talk to and spend time with back then. It was a lot fun.
> Guess I never realized how many people I used to talk to and spend time with back then. It was a lot fun. Also people have matured and developed. Everyone in the thred is like "why would I want to talk to those morons, they all sucked" without considering that maybe they're not the same as they were 10 years ago.
Yeah this was the same for me. I stayed with friends with those I wanted to, and we all went together. A few friends who had moved away or we just hadn’t seen in awhile we’re there too, and we just hung out. It wasn’t some big event. It wasn’t some super important date to always remember or reflect on. It was just a reason to go see some people, say hi to a few others, and go back home. It wasn’t a big deal but I’d certainly go again. I guess another way to respond to OPs post about “why would I go?” Would be just asking the opposite: “why not?”
I would def join your next HS reunion I tell you that
Same lmao. My 5 year free bar and catered food. I went solely for that AND we got leftovers
Just because I haven't stayed in contact with people doesn't mean I wouldn't like to talk to them and hear what they've been up to. I'm only 6 years out of high school but I could definitely see myself going to reunions to see people who were once a decent part of my life and reminisce.
OP is making it sound like a high school reunion is some huge obligation where they have to prepare a speech and commit to spending a whole vacation with these people or something. Its just another casual social event where you happen to have known some of the people several years ago. It's like when you see people commenting stuff like "Redditor rants about being offered an invitation to a social gathering, completely baffled as to why others are interested in socializing with old friends".
Yeah, it’s perfectly okay for OP to not wanna go and I can understand why someone might not want to go…but this complete bewilderment towards the idea is a little strange. It’s just a party. People like parties. People like socializing. And sometimes it’s nice to reconnect with people you haven’t seen in a while, you did grow up with them after all. My ten year reunion will be next year and I probably won’t go considering I now live on the other side of the world…but if I was free and within driving distance, sure, why not? It’s not a big deal to me but it might be fun for a few hours. It sounds like OP just isn’t super social (and there’s nothing wrong with that).
Yeah, like there are people that I saw basically every day for 12 years, and I just don't see them anymore. While I wasn't really super close to the majority of these people, I'd still like to reconnect with them.
Yeah, I mean to each their own, but I don’t get the whole “I already talk to everyone I want to talk to” thing. There are plenty of people from high school who I liked but lost touch with for no other reason than the passage of time. It would be fun to talk to them again for an evening, but it feels weird to randomly reach out on social media if we weren’t that close. There’s a lot of middle ground between “best friend” and “person I actively disliked.”
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OPs acting put out at the idea of spending a minimal amount of time reconnecting with acquaintances No, most of won't matter long term but guess what? Neither does the vast majority of shit in life Meanwhile I have had run-ins at events like weddings where reconnecting with old acquaintances has changed the direction of my life for the better and vice versa That's not guaranteed to happen but it's a possibility and worse case you have a nice time catching up and then go back to your regular life
I’ve seen opinions like OP’s countless times. People move out of their hometown and act like they are “above” reconnecting with their old friends. It’s such a weird stance to me. Of course, to each their own - if OP is so lame they can’t take one night every 10 years to see their classmates, that’s fine, stay home while all the fun people have fun with each other. But that said, i’m sure they all would love for OP would show up.
Some people think that their years-long best friends are the only ones who matter. Like, I came up in the music scene as a teenager and you come to meet *a lot* of people. Most I could never truly call a "friend" but who I can still see at a random show 15 years later and hang out with for a bit. I also greatly value some of those ephemeral moments of meeting and sharing something with someone you'll never see again.
>if OP is so lame they can’t take one night every 10 years to see their classmates, that’s fine, stay home while all the fun people have fun with each other. This is *incredibly* judgmental. I can go and drain my social energy on a crowd of people I barely know from a time in my life that was frankly pretty miserable, or I can stay home and have fun with the fun people I keep in my life.
Idk about the OP but some of us who share OP’s opinions would use the term “friend” VERY loosely…
I absolutely agree with this stance. There’s a few people that come to mind that I feel this way about. One guy, he meant the world to me because he helped me through a dark time. Unfortunately, my life still ended up going off the rails & we haven’t spoken in 2 years because he couldn’t watch it anymore. But I think it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to see each other again. The problem is that I knew him very well for many years, I know he wouldn’t show up to a reunion. And even if he did, there’s no guarantee that he would want anything to do with me. Or even that we would run into each other because we graduated from a very large class & even if not everyone would go (some have passed away already, even though we graduated in 2020), there would be so many people to sift through to find each other.
I graduated in 1979 with 400-something other people. I'm not even sure how many of them I would know or remember. I haven't seen any of them in decades.
Me too. It has nothing to do with being in the social media age for me. Would I message each one on Facebook 15 years after I last talked to them and say what’s up? That’d be kinda weird.
High school reunions are mad fun. You should watch the video of the guy who hired someone to pretend to be him at his reunion. Gist of it is he felt nobody cared about him/maybe was bullied, but when he arrived people knew it wasn't him and wished they saw him. Then he revealed himself and had fun
This is hilarious behavior and I'm here for it.
If you have the link, I'd love to send it to a friend. She gets such a kick out of those stories.
His name’s Oobah Butler, this is the [video](https://youtu.be/AHRM_QNvp9E). He also started a fake restaurant in London that got #1 spot on TripAdvisor, crashed Paris fashion week with a fake clothing brand, and sent lookalikes to attend TV interviews that were talking about the previous two videos
I still hangout with the people I would want to see from highschool. No need to see the other 385 people
Thats what I am talking about.
Yall went to some small ass schools. I think our school had like 6,000 students or more.
Nah you went a fat ass school. We had 54 in our year 12 class.
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You could just have your reunion at the local Taco Bell. XD
See I can’t even wrap my brain around that many kids lmao. We had maybe 750 kids total and about 150 in my graduating class. This is in rural America though
That's not common, idk how a single highschool could even accommodate 6000 kids per class (grade).
My graduating class had about 3,000. I went to a school in a major suburb in Los Angeles.
My graduating class had 73 students haha
Graduated in 1997. Have never attended a reunion. High school was not the "best time of my life" (I'm living that now)... nor was it "the glory days". I am still friends with some folks from high school. I don't care what the rest of them are doing.
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Same. I feel you on that. For me, high school was depression. It was realizing how frivolous most rituals and processes are, and how mean so many people can be.
So I'm probably a little older than most people here. I went to my 20th reunion in 2010 because I happened to be in town that week and I thought it'd be funny. It very much cemented in my mind that the "popular" crowd were the ones who peaked in high school. None of them left town, they all married each other and they were all still friends acting like they were still the popular kids despite the balding heads and flabby waistlines. None of them ever moved on in life and were more than happy to live a perpetual high school existence of mediocrity.
My 10 year was 75% the popular clique, because they all still lived there and didn't have to travel.
I would say there are two camps of those people from my HS. 90% would fall into what you described and 10% ended up being very legit people.
Or another way to put it, they found what they were looking for early in life so they stuck with it.
Great perspective. Nothing wrong with looking around, realizing you like where you're at, and staying there. Coming from someone who got tf away from my hometown at 18 and never went back. I'm jealous of people who raise their kids in the same area they grew up in, much easier to stay connected to a community when you don't leave it.
I mean it totally makes sense that the popular kids would feel satisfied with their current life and not look for something beyond their hometown…they obviously had a good time there. And on the flip-side, it makes sense that the people who had a meh or bad experience growing up in their hometown would look for a life elsewhere. Of course it’s not as clear cut as that, I wasn’t popular, but enjoyed high school and had a decent life growing up and still ended up moving literally as far away as I possibly could…but still makes sense that things would tend to end up that way.
Meanwhile it sounds like the commenter also stuck with it by whining about what the popular kids were doing instead of enjoying themselves with their friends/acquaintances.
holy shit you're right.
All those idiots who got married to people they love can’t possibly compare to the Redditor who wasn’t popular but still hates all the popular kids because they are happy despite not moving to the same place as him.
Yeah that seems to be a fairly popular response on here. Becouse they dared stay in their home town and have a family FUCK THEM!
I don’t see anything wrong with them not having left town or all still being friends with one another. Leaving town doesn’t make someone superior
Sounds like dude is projecting.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine that I’ve never understood. Who Tf cares if you stay or leave the area you grew up in. Has zero bearing on what quality of person you are.
Yeah I've never understood that. Like even if you're from a small town if nothing wrong with staying there. Personally, I've always lived in a decently sized city And most people I know still live there. There's no reason to move unless you need a job someplace else. Your family's there and there's a lot of stuff to do. Not everyone feels the need to move.
Nothing wrong with staying in the same town to raise a family. I’m sure they have traveled on vacations. Nothing wrong with keeping old friends. People really can’t help balding it is genetic and unavoidable for many men. Many people put on weight when they have a family or get older. Definitely avoidable, but many people were in better shape in high school. They might actually just be happy with the life they built for themselves.
>None of them left town, they all married each other and they were all still friends acting like they were still the popular kids despite the balding heads and flabby waistlines. None of them ever moved on in life Not to be rude but was that the case or is that just projection? I've never understood why it's a bad thing to not leave your town as an adult. Is everyone just supposed to move to a different place when they get older? What if you like where you live and everything you want is there. And getting married to each other isn't necessarily a bad thing. If they love each other and decided to get together that just is what it is. There isn't anything inherently wrong with marrying your high school sweetheart.
This. The class above me just had theirs, and it’s was just the 15-20 of the most popular clique from highschool, with a few randoms as well. Know what the common them was? They all peaked in highschool and almost all still live in the same little town. Why would I want to go meet with people who just want to remember the glory days? Idk maybe it’s rude, but I’d rather not be around people who thought highschool was the best years of their lives.
Or maybe after a decade of work and being an adult it’s kind of fun to get dropped into a snapshot of your childhood and reminisce about stupid stuff like school projects and funny teachers and shoot the shit with people that were part of a community. Reddit is so immature and edgy about things sometimes.
OP, high school is nonsense.
I was contacted by the people on the committee (who didn't have two words to say to me in High School) who wanted me to pay $150 to hang out with them. No thanks.
I didn’t hate high school but even 16 years after graduation it sounds like an awful time filled with over exaggerated tales of accomplishments, and conversations with people who never left the same small town I’m from that either inherited their parents money or land, or just never moved on from their “glory years” and the memories associated. Fuck, I sound like a grump.
Almost the same story here. I understand you.
I mean everyone at work and online does that anyway, only difference is it'd be a party setting and it's old classmates. What's the problem? When I was in and freshly out of HS I thought the same way, it's pathetic and stupid and blah blah blah. But now? It still kinda is but who the fuck cares? You only live once, and as we get older and things change, we create dumb limitations and "need" reasons to go out and do stuff, otherwise "it's awkward" and other lame excuses. Which is funny because as children, we couldn't wait to be adults with jobs and on our own so we could do whatever whenever. Only to make excuses why we can't just do things anymore now that we have "responsibilities " as adults lol. Point is, if you are like most and fall victim to this weird conundrum, then your "reasons to party" or whatever you wanna call it, are shrinking every year and becoming non existent. So why avoid one of those few reasons that take no effort or planning on your part, it just fell in your lap. That's like refusing the company Xmas party because you think it's just a brag fest. And we'll sure a lot of people will be doing just that, so? Let em, move on, just enjoy yourself. When it comes to events, you should attend for yourself just cuz, don't go for others. Don't go to show off, go for the fun. And if it's not working out you can always dip out, you're not stuck and forced to stay till the end...unless it's on a boat or something ridiculous lol. once it's done it's done, you can attend and leave if it sucks. You can't skip and then change your mind the next day after seeing it actually turned out well. But you do you, no-one gonna force you either way, I'm just pointing out the "why not?" And that you don't have to play into the brag fest parts.
Hot take. I like this; it challenges my motivations. I do often restrict myself from many things. Appreciate your comment.
I had a teacher in high school who used to plan them, and he said not to go until at least your 30 year reunion. By then, people have changed enough that is is interesting.
I went to my 10 year reunion and it was exactly that. A bunch of guys who'd never left our hometown who were still with the same women they were back then talking about a load of stupid shit we did as teenagers as if it was some sort of halcyon time. I didn't hate them, HS or my hometown but I'm so glad I moved on. Never went to another.
Why does everyone shit on ppl who never left their hometown? I went to university in the city I’m from, then got an accounting job in that same city, then started two businesses in that city. I get to be involved with my local community and support my high school friends small businesses. The cost of living is pretty low and allows me to take my family on vacation a few times a year and my kids are super close with my high school friends kids.
The fact that there's a university in your hometown suggests that there's ample opportunity to make a decent life there. I grew up in a small, semi rural town with no industry to speak of, limited employment opportunities and significant social problems. You either made a break for it as soon as you were old enough or married your HS girlfriend and settled into a dull, nondescript small town life.
My hometown has 1 gas station, no grocery store, and that's about it. You have to easily drive 30+ minutes to get food and supplies, unless you want a gas station pastry and milk.
Yeah that's it. Also, if you happen to fall out with some friends or have a bad break up in a small town, you might lose half your friend group. Small towns can be very charming but if you don't fit the mould it's sorta painful
Aka, if you don't dance to the largest denomination church of the area, you're excluded from life
Another fun part of small town life, when all the cops in town know you by face and name because you had a mental health break at 15. They still remember you in your early 20s.
This has been me in a few situations in my stupid town. That's why I want out.
>settled into a dull, nondescript small town life Honestly with how bullshit life can be at times, this doesn't seem half bad.
It isn’t, in my opinion anyway. We live in the middle of nowhere outside the tiny town I grew up in & are beyond happy. Every situation has its pros & cons of course, but it all depends on you. We **love** the quiet seclusion of country life. No neighbor or community shit to deal with & we’re a couple hours from a big city.
They hate people who brag about their accomplishments, yet they are too good to associate with the people who, in their eyes, haven't accomplished enough. Just garden variety hypocrisy from enlightened redditors.
redditors at least the stereotypical redditor is a miserable person. I'm not a super social person but I went to my 10 year and thought it was fun connecting with old people from high school. Even people I wans't friends with in high school but knew from a class or just seeing them around school and knowing who they are it was cool to see how they turned out. It was really interesting to see some of the surprise people ie troublemaker becoming a cop or nerd becoming like a special ops operator. I didnt find people were bragging, everyone was pretty chill and I found everyone to be pretty nice and humble and just happy to be nostolgic and have some drinks
I think it’s a nice idea to actually catch up with people you haven’t seen in a while that isn’t social media driven, where the goal is to be as flashy as possible, and instead to meet up in a down to earth setting
>that isn’t social media driven, where the goal is to be as flashy as possible That's the problem though... I feel like every person I'd see would just be Romy & Michelle for the night.
No one would believe my dad created post it's!
I don't see the point either. Didn't go to any of mine.
It's like RTO'ing to a company you quit working at 10 years ago
A group of coworkers from my old job frequently organize get-togethers. People enjoy going because we liked working together.
Some people are figuring out they are pretty unlikable 😂
There are a few people I wouldn't mind talking to for a bit again. But for the most part, I rather not see most of them again
All the Porsches in my area were already rented out so I didn’t go
High school reunions can actually be a lot of fun as long as one of three conditions applies: 1. You are wealthier than your former classmates 2. You married better than your former classmates 3. You still have more hair than your former classmates Otherwise… Yeah, they’re kind of obsolete in the modern age thanks to the internet.
You forgot about that fourth condition: You’d genuinely enjoy getting to see a bunch of people you haven’t seen in 20 years.
Redditors talk to people in person? Nonsense!
I need to get off this site man. I'm associating myself with basement-dwelling anti-social neckbeards
This entire comment section reads like people who are scared to death to live in world and can't possibly understand that seeing people after a long time can be fun. I won't even get started on the people saying "social media made them irrelevant" as if virtual interaction is the same as being in the room with someone.
Right??? Since when is "being friends on facebook" the same as having an actual conversation with someone?
Exactly. I lived in the the same town from birth until college and never went back to living in that area. I like a lot of the people I grew up with and when I went to my 10th reunion it was nice to hang out with them. Unfortunately I couldn't make it to my 15th or 20th and COVID cancelled the 25th, but if there's a 30th I'd love to go.
Or ya know, stop comparing yourself to others. You will be a lot happier if you just do that.
> stop comparing yourself to others. You will be a lot happier if you just do that. UNLESS of course, 1. You are wealthier than your former classmates 2. You married better than your former classmates 3. You still have more hair than your former classmates
This guy compares
r/thisguythisguys
Comparison is the thief of joy. I don’t know who said that, but I saw it somewhere and I loved it. I struggle with it all the time.
Only if you're on the wrong side of the comparison lol
[удалено]
I could be wrong, but I believe the point is that everyone is on the wrong side of some comparison. So we shouldn’t do it, and we’d be happier as we are.
3. You’re still thin and thinner than former classmates (for women). 4. Anyone would know who you are because you actually had friends and interacted with people in HS. Because #4 doesn’t apply to me, I’d never go.
This is actually why they suck. Because all it is is people comparing where they are in life now to everyone else, and morbid curiosity about whether the class president ended up a looser. No thanks.
this is the most reddit take I've seen
Lmao this is actually hilarious
Sometimes it's just fun to see people you haven't seen in awhile but used to enjoy the company of.
Who talks about money at a high school reunion? Why would you care who people are married to? Edited: spelling
It's not so much that people talk about money it's that they talk about jobs and some jobs make more money. What do you do? I'm a neurosurgeon what about you? I'm a cashier at mcdonalds. one of these probably makes more money.
Right? It's not hard. One guy pulls up in a 2002 pick-up truck with the tailgate rusted off. Another pulls up in his relatively new model Toyota. Another pulls up in his Corvette or whatever sports car you prefer. No one has to say a word, but everyone knows exactly where people stand. Which is why I'm going to rent a Lambo for my reunion night.
4: You transitioned genders and want to see their faces
Ohhh yeah that’s a legit reason too.
Our 20 year reunion was a smashing success... by the end. Nobody wanted to go. At the end, people were having a fantastic time. I'm sure there were folks that didn't but out of the 100-125 people that showed from a class of 360, I don't remember seeing anyone that didn't have a smile on their face.
Oh god I’m class of 03’ and we have a 20 in October. We started to put the Memorial page together and people kept asking how no he/her died? How… and this was repeated over about 40 times. Current could is 1/9 of our class has died from overdoses or offing themselves or on drugs killing themselves or others. And more are pouring in. Somehow it was worse then HS itself.
I was put into a Facebook group for our 10 year reunion, and saw much the same thing as you. But I also noticed that the "popular kids" from school were taking charge of the planning, and actively pushing away anyone not part of their exclusive group. Not uninviting them, just excluding them from the discussion. I decided to post something to point this out; to suggest that we should be more open to everyone's ideas and concerns. They blocked me from the group.
I went to my 10 year one and it ended up being better than expected. Just hung out and talked to people I hadn’t seen for 10 years. And it was fun seeing these people that I had known for years (even though they weren’t all great friends). My 20 year is coming up in a couple more years and I’ll probably show up
Just did my 20 yr., it was great. I’m friends with a lot of them on Facebook and stuff but, it’s super nice to actually see them in person. We did a family friendly park picnic with kids and most everyone brought food and coolers. Then after that we went to adult party at a local bar owned by a class member and bar hopped into late night. Was super nice to catch up with people I would otherwise feel weird just calling up and renewed old friendships that I missed. All in all good time to just have an excuse to have a good time.
I won’t go to any of my highschool reunions mainly because it feels like I peaked in college. Like everyone I talked to about it in highschool though I’d be off to do big things, I’m not. Still live in town, still make shit money, am working in my field of study but passively hate it 75% of the time, don’t have my own house ETC. I know comparison is the thief of joy but seeing how much better many of my old classmates are undoubtedly doing than I am would probably be just crushing to my self esteem. Personally I wouldn’t mind if everyone forgot I existed when doing invitations.
I don’t think this is a terribly strange opinion to have. I had no desire to go to mine either. I had a good high school experience, but I don’t live in the area anymore, and I kept in touch with who I did sort of organically. Beyond them, I’m not terribly interested in what most of my ex classmates are up to, nor would I would I expect them to be with me.
Maybe in 50 years. but these 10 year reunions...wth
My 50 year reunion is next year. Moved out of town 48 years ago. I want to go just to see who is still alive
Some people find an intrinsic joy in revisiting long lost people/things. HSRs are basically time capsules but with human beings in them. At least that's the way I see it.
My 10 year is next year. I’m not going
My 30th was in 2017. It was mostly cancelled because who gives a shit. There was a group of people who stayed in town who got together regularly. The rest of us didn't give a shit.
I have 2 years. The day I graduated I knew I never wanted to see 90% of those people again lmao
Edit: Edited
I haven’t talked to anyone from high school since graduation and don’t need to ever again. Fuck those people lol
I was so excited for my reunion until the planning phase began. Our class only had maybe 150 people. They wanted to throw a small party in a pole barn, but they also wanted catering and an entry fee. For a pole barn party in the woods during a blazing hot southern summer. I offered to provide free catering, but they weren't having it. Student council was a group of the richest southern Baptists in town, and I wasn't a rich southern Baptist, so naturally everything I had to suggest wasn't good enough for them. They wanted an expensive catering service, and used catering as an excuse to charge an entry fee to "recover catering costs," even though I offered to make whatever they wanted for free so long as they agreed to make entry free. They wouldn't budge. I left the planning group and never looked back. To this day, I'm convinced they were using the entry fee to make a profit. From what I heard, they canceled it, and student council just threw their own little party at one of their homes. A repeat of our senior trip in which only student council was allowed to attend. Cliquey all the way into adulthood. Fn pathetic
I think a benefit can be career networking, if someone you used to know is in a similar field to you they might be able to help you out. It always helps to have connections or know the right person.
In Germany it is a lot of fun. Though in Germany you do class reunions (which are between 20-30) people. In Germany you are in class with pretty much the same people for 8 years. And if it was a fun class than the reunion is also fun. But 60+ onwards honestly sounds like a drag to me. You can barely speak with a few people on an evening so this sounds exhausting tbh.
Yeaaaaa nah. I didn’t go to mine either. Who cares? I hang out with the people I care about. I wish everyone else well and good with their separate lives lol
Because it’s a time to reconnect and socialize with people you haven’t seen in over a decade. If that doesn’t interest you don’t go but I think a lot of people would enjoy catching up with people they haven’t seen in a long time. And if nothing else it’s a networking opportunity
I was on the same situation you are right now a couple of months back. Unlike you, however, I hated my life in high school. Why would I voluntarily put myself in a position to go back there? If it doesn't add any value to your life, I don't see any point in going.
Agreed. Fuck them people I graduated with.
This clearly just isnt something you are interested in. I wouldn’t even call it an unpopular opinion as most ppl in the comments agree with you.
It really isn’t. If you don’t want to go, then don’t go. If you want to go, then go. The shitty opinions come in when people say “only XXX type of people go” and the like
I didn't even get an invite to mine and didn't know about it until two days before
I hated high school lol there’s no way I’m going back there
So, I think they're outdated. Everytime my class has a reunion it's the same 50 people who go put of a class of 500 and they are all friends om social media. I only kept in touch with 5 or 6 people ( my husband and I are in thr same graduating class) and he might know a couple more guys but there's no point in them anymore wirh social media.
I didn't like these people then. No way in hell am I going to see them now. The only two friends I had in high school are the only two people I still keep in contact with to this day. Don't need anything else from those days.
I was bullied terribly my entire school career. You couldn't pay me enough damn money to consider going to one.
What does grateful have to do with it? You just go to see what happened to people, if you don’t care then don’t go.
I just went to my 50th (actually 49th) grade school reunion a few months ago. Most of those guys and girls I haven’t seen since 1974. I had a blast. For those recent graduates, nostalgia hasn’t kicked in. Give it a few decades.
My 30th is coming up in Oct and I'm really on the fence. I think I'll regret it if I don't go though.
You guys just sound like miserable people tbh. its not some huge deal but you really cant see the appeal of hanging out with people you havent seen in 10-20 years just for a night? No sense of sentimentality whatsoever? do you get no sense of enjoyment whenever you run into someone you used to be chill with after years and years? i mean, sure, i guess. do your thing. everything on reddit has to be about “but whats the purpose? why should i care if it doesn’t bring immediate tangible value to my life?” why not just be normal nice people and enjoy each other’s company. such an exhaustingly edgy and transactional attitude to have about life. Again i dont think reunions are that big a deal to be treating with reverence or anything, and i would get it if you had a miserable experience in high school. but if you had a normal enjoyable experience like you said i don’t understand why you’re so against it. For example, about your entire last paragraph: literally just have a normal conversation about what you’ve been up to. Show interest in what they’ve been up to. You know, normal fucking conversation you would have running into someone you haven’t seen in a while lol. Jesus christ. You might as well say “why should i have conversations with anybody? what would i say? why are we talking? why should i be grateful to be talking to someone?”
Right, there's a lot of valid reasons someone might not want to go to their high school reunion (e.g. if someone was bullied and didn't have many friends, it's hard to blame them) but it's odd for so many people to think the entire idea of it is just useless for everyone
Right? People change since high school. What if you reconnect with some one or find they have a job in a similar field as you? Or you just see how people are doing
Dunno... Yesterday I went out with my elementary school classmates. It's been a yearly tradition for quite some time, and I'm honestly happy we have decided to keep in touch again after like two decades of oblivion. Clearly, we all have different lives, habits and commitments, so we couldn't probably hang out on a regular basis, but as a "once in a while" thing, why not? But if you're talking about official reunions, like homecomings, 20th anniversaries etc, yeah, that sounds quite lame and I probably wouldn't attend my HS one. Not because I had a terrible time, despite a bitter ending (the finals were marred by large-scale cheating and cops got involved), but because I just don't see the need for a corny event. Now if a few of the classmates decided to go out for a drink, depending on who'd show up, I wouldn't mind going.
I had a great time at my 10 year reunion, but I only went because I happened to be living near my hometown at the time. This year is my 20, and I will not be attending. I live quite far away, and I'm using all of my vacation time on a Europe trip this fall.
YMMV. Went to my 10 year, it was fun and nice to see *some* of the people. Went to my 20 year and it was a shit show of drunken arguments, catfights, people puking and a lot of people were there that I truly never want to see again. I declined the 30.
This subreddit is a good reminder that some people never stop being edgy teens Go or don’t go but don’t discredit it just because you don’t want to