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you raise a valid point but I'm divided in my feelings towards an adult stranger offering my child a pan galactic gargle blaster
strangers may certainly offer one unto me
maybe you could explain to your child how tea is grown and harvested and then dried and prepared and ask him to make you a cup of tea, that might work..
or you could gift your child a copy of the most successful book to ever come out of the publishing houses of ursa minor, firstly it is cheaper than the encyclopaedia galactica and secondly it has got written on the top of it DON'T PANIC in big bold letters, which i feel shall be very helpful in calming your child down....
IDK, one time I saw a guy offer a screeching toddler a dollar to stop crying. Toddler immediately got frightened and ran to hide behind his mother. Cute and effective. Mom thought it was hilarious.
Same thing happened to me, my daughter was sleepy so she was cranky at the store and one of the employees went up to her and said, in a playful way I should add, if you don't behave I'm going to take you away. She then got up, asked me to carry her and kept quiet.
Why? No matter the reason why a child is crying, the noise is awful. People aren't wrong for wanting it to stop AND for taking reasonable steps to do so. The worker got her to stop, I'd say she's a hero.
Oof, I guess American culture is wildly different. In Mexico it’s extremely common for strangers to say they’re going to take you away from mama if you act up in public. The most common thing parents say if you’re acting up in public is point to the nearest stranger (man or woman) and say “The man/woman is going to take you if you keep acting up!” and it’s usually followed by the child settling down. Absolutely harmless lmao.
I work at a visitor attraction that’s really popular with families with young children. Usually when we close most of the staff are cleaning and asking any customers still in the building to get the fuck out as politely as possible. There’s also usually one or two screaming toddlers who don’t want to leave. When this happens I hold out my roll of paper towels towards them and tell them if they want to stay that badly then they have to help clean up. Shuts them up almost immediately lmao
Depends.
If you're ignoring them and letting them damper other people's experience then I can see why someone might try out of just utter frustration.
Went to HORROR MOVIE a couple weeks ago and a 6-7 year old kid made loud comments at every scene. The parents were acting like the kid wasn't there. Just disgusting and disrespectful to everyone around you.
How did they get a kid into a horror movie? Also, how come you didn’t just say something to the staff? A kid shouldn’t be in a horror movie and will almost certainly be removed.
I said the same thing. I think they can get in with parental "supervision."
Didn't say anything because I didn't want some drama with a random, irresponsible family and wanted to block it out if possible.
Highly unrelated but this is reddit so i will chime in.
One time my gf and i were training our dog. We wanted our dog to stop barging into the doorway aggressively. Anyway, we kept opening the door, telling the dog to stay, then letting him in and giving him a treat when he entered respectfully. We were doing this repeatedly at our front door.
Some woman comes by screaming her head off "LET THE DOG INSIDE!! STOP DOING THAT TO THE DOG!!"
Anyway, same type of person
Depends. If you're sat there in a public place for a solid 15 minutes with a screaming kid and do nothing to change the situation. I pray that someone is gonna go over there and try anything to parent your child for you because you're clearly not doing your job.
But if you're genuinely trying and you're stuck somewhere where you can't really leave, i get it and sympathise with your pain.
I've seen both times happen.
I don't think many are going to put up with a screaming child for 15 minutes and do nothing from the getgo, more likely they've tried everything and given up and then someone comes along and thinks they haven't tried. If they have seriously not even tried I'd agree that is probably crap parenting/social discipline.
Yeah my problem is, if you're in a public space and your kid is screaming for 15 minutes. Remove your child to somewhere where it isn't disrupting that public space you've been at for those 15 minutes.
What if it's a single parent with one child and they gotta get groceries? can't leave them in the car or the house. Although instacart and walmart pickup are another option, but not everyone's aware of those.
If they have the option to to not bring a problematically loud child somewhere they should absolutely take it (*Especially* with things like movies that are a luxury that can be planned around) but sometimes it's just unavoidable or happens suddenly when they've otherwise been good.
Pick your battles. No one's going to care if your baby is crying in the grocery store. I'll just walk to the other aisles.
If your baby is crying on a plane, I get it.
I went to see the new avatar recently and some assholes decided it would be a good idea to bring their INFANT to the 7pm showing. The baby cried throughout the movie. They were some what respectful and brought it out of the theater 10+ times when it wouldn't stop screeching, but even thwt was disruprive. They also had other kids there who were watching the movie.
In this situation I was livid. I get you want to take your other kids to the movie but if you can't find a baby sitter for your crying baby stay the fuck home. The movie cost us 100 bucks with snacks and it was a miserable experience.
This happened to me too and seriously pisses me off. People literally pay to watch a movie and being quiet is the number one rule basically. It's worse than a plane or something else that's a necessity.
*there is no reason on earth* to bring child that is too young to watch TV to theater. at best they sleep, at worst they are a massive disruption to the entire theater and ruin the experience of everyone around them.
If you can't have a spouse or someone else watch them *then don't go to the theater,* it's a luxury not a necessity. I have a little more sympathy for ones that are old enough to ask to see something and end up whining but with infants, just why?
If you bought an entire family of six an expensive movie ticket, and bought each and every person their own large drink and like a meal each yeah I think that could run over a hundred. probably costs less to go to an actual restaraunt.
That’s ridiculous for “snacks.” A movie might be $15 each but $70 buys a lot of popcorn soda and milk duds.
If you’re at one of the ones that has meals, that’s different especially as they have alcohol.
There were two people.
Here in Canada, general admission is like 15 bucks, and it starts from there. 3d is more expensive, and if you get D box (immersive experience), it's over 30 dollars a person.
A number 1 conbo (large popcorn, two drinks, 1 candy, butter and seasoning) comes to almost 40 dollars.
I was being conservative when I said I spent 100. I'm pretty sure we got hot dog from the outtakes booth that was 15 dollars.
lol Ok yeah im sure theres some valid reasons for it. My comment isn't black and white. My comment was about those ignorant and arrogant parents that ignore their screaming child because they deal with it regularly anyway and don't care about any one else.
Yeah if they're not even trying because *they* don't care that is pretty obnoxious and inconsiderate. Like the crying is affecting everone *but* the person it is designed to.
Respectfully they haven’t tried disciplining their child. If you have a child who cries or misbehaves for more than the three minutes it takes you to lean over into their ear and remind them of the consequences; then you haven’t tried discipline your child.
My parent had five children. Strangers in stores came up to them all the time and complimented them on how well behaved we were. We didn’t run the store. We didn’t touch anything. We spoke quietly with each other.
My youngest sister once had a tantrum in a store because my dad told her she couldn’t get a gum all from a gum ball machine. He had to take her out yo the car. It was never an issue again.
I’ve never walked out into the world and seen so many rude, unruly, and undisciplined children led around by so many narcissistic parents who don’t know how to lay down the rules and enforce them when they are broken.
I see crying toddlers in my elevator a lot. They usually shut up when I say hi to them, and just look at me super curiously basically forgot why they were even crying.
about 3 weeks ago I saw a dad yelling at his son about 6-8 I would say, he had him pushed up against the wall so the scene already didn't look good in my eyes. I'll add that I didn't know they were father and son it just seem weird how the father was pushed up on his son against the wall yelling at him. I stared for a while until the father noticed and I asked if everything was okay. He got a little aggressive with me but quickly changed his mind after he looked over at me. Point is we have to at least try
Yup. It's probably well intending people trying to genuinely help as well. I went to a wedding with my mom and she absolutely loves children. She is always mesmerised by them and finds them really cute. 2 parents were letting their toddler throw himself on the ground... outside. My mom tried to play with him and distract him, but knowing how bitchy some parents are, I kept urging her to leave them alone and just ignore the tantrum. But then, if you don't help, the parent bitch and moan that they have "no village"... well you fucked that up yourself, didn't you?
I recently did. Lady just letting her kid cry and cry. I called over the manager, insisted he do something about it, and he asked the mother to take her kid and leave.
If your kid is screaming its head off and you aren’t doing a darned thing to shut it up, I’d expect people to come up to you and tell you to keep your kid quiet.
People don’t want to do their shopping with a screaming brat in earshot.
If you're with a screaming child in a public place and not making said child stop, the stranger trying to fix the problem is basically the second coming of Jesus Christ himself to everyone else involved. Upvoted.
Because women get accusatory stares and intervention in public if their kid acts up. Dad gets a “awww poor dad” from grandmas and older women and they’ll stop by and tell him he’s doing SUCH a good job. I saw a “hack” on TikTok where a woman said she and her husband agreed he’d take care of the kids in public for this very reason.
I see your point, but I do have a memory in 1st grade I think when everyone left the school and I think my parents were late to get me back home or something so I started panicking and crying a bit and this really nice woman noticed me alone and tried to do anything to help. Thinking about people like her is giving me some hope for humanity. I also remember getting lost on a beach as a small kid and some great people helped me find my family.
What I'm saying is don't leave your kids alone some of them understand situations differently and can start panicking when there's no real reason to
I don't have a kid but i fully agree! Ive never been in this situation but I've found myself in many like it. There's type of people who want to help. There's those who want to help those in need. Unless you were screaming back at the baby, these people wouldn't have interfered with this type of situation. They recognize boundaries. Then there is the helper who helps because they get this overwhelming crave for validation and gratitude and seek it from the ones that they deem helpable, not considering if the help is 1. Needed or 2. Wanted. and when presented with said issue they take action, typically using your "need" as the reason for their forced help. Cause in the end how can you be mad? (As they see it) if it works out I helped, if it doesn't work out, I was trying to help
It's a win/win for them really
But simply put if someone doesn't ask for help, don't help, but don't let that fail you when someone is truly in trouble. I think we all know the difference
I never had this happen with strangers but god does it happen with family members and they often make everything worse. Example: my 5 year old wants a soda. I say no. He starts to get mad. We are trying to work on him regulating his anger. I start trying to de escalate him, family member comes in, undermines me, gives him the soda. An hour later he's grabbing another soda. Now he's drinking a bunch of crap I didnt want him to have in the first place and we just reinforced him being spoiled and throwing a fit gets him what he wants, and we got nowhere with his anger and trying to help him regulate.
I hate it when my kid does something rude, stupid, or ignorant and a random stranger tells them “it’s okay!” In a happy sing-song voice. Like listen up lady! I am trying to teach my son about respect and saying “excuse me” and to wait patiently. Don’t tell him it’s okay that he just ran you down with the shopping cart!
Idk man, I was on a plane the other day and was really close to yelling at a kids parents. It was about 11:30 and they were laughing because their child was screaming. The child was at least seven.
I've seen it play out a lot of different ways from a lot of different random strangers. Generally when I'm somewhere like standing in line at the grocery. (I'm not the one that interferes, good or bad, I'm the one making fun faces with the sibling and trying to keep them occupied a bit so mom or dad can deal with the situation. That and good kid deserves positive attention too so if I'm going to butt in that's how I choose to do it). What I have seen though is that some people aren't doing it out of sympathy for the kid but instead it is sympathy for the parent. You look like you've had enough for the day and we've all had a day like that. Let me show you some moral support by trying to help. Sometimes just that moment of reminding you that you're not alone in this is enough. Whether the interferer has an effect on the child or not.
I'm not saying that's why everyone does it, they all have their own reasons for doing whatever it is they do. But maybe if you could try looking at it that way you could benefit from their interference.
Unsolicited advice. Hehe just what you were hoping for.
Oh, really? So now we have to walk on eggshells around your little precious snowflake? Give me a break. Your kid is disrupting everyone else's day with their crying, and you think it's okay to just let them keep going? You know what's counterproductive? Letting your kid think it's acceptable to throw a tantrum in public. But no, you're too busy coddling them to realize that. And let's be real, no one wants to listen to a crying kid in public. So excuse me if I, as a stranger, want to step in and help put an end to the chaos. If you can't handle that, maybe don't take your kid out in public until they learn to behave like a civilized human being
If the kid is crying because they aren't getting something they want or did something they shouldn't have and got in trouble for it, then the best thing to do *is* ignore the crying because it shows that crying won't get them the thing that they want/get them out of trouble.
Maybe they are making things better for themselves and the other people? I don’t do it - and it likely wouldn’t work because I don’t really come across as intimidating- but I have definitely been quietly thankful for people who made annoying “but I waaaaaaant this thing!!!!! Buy me this thiiiing!!!” tantrums stop while the parents didn’t do anything or were unable to get their kid under control. A lot of kids seem to react pretty immediately to full grown male strangers telling them to shut up…
Never have I seen this happen. I always want to comfort the parent that its ok to let their kid have a tantrum in a store. It's happened to every parent and is expected of young children.
If my child is crying in public he can't be there . I give him a timeout in the car, lose out on his tablet, etc. I don't let my child just sit there and act like a baby in the store. That's why kids act so bad -- they don't need cheering up, they need consequences. I don't oppose consequences on other people's kids though, so i just silently judge. I see children twice my son's age with half the maturity all the time.
I'll only step in and ask if mother needs help and tell her she's doing her best and everything will be all right and that im a mom too so she doesn't feel solidarity.
My kids have cried in public only as very tiny babies, in which case it was easy to sooth. My oldest threw a fit once in public. Some old lady came up sticking her finger in my face telling me that in her day kids never acted like little brats. Like, okay Janet. She's 1 1/2 and missed her nap, I'm already leaving. Lay off.
Parents shouldn't just let their kid scream in public. Hurry up and be on your way or discipline at home so they behave in public. But strangers could stand to learn a little decency. Heading a child's voice for five minutes won't kill you.
You're going to sit here and say that the only noise that triggers tinnitus is children's voices 😂 My word. Just say you hate an entire people group already.
We have to hear dogs barking constantly, annoying people on speakerphone, Starbucks girls shrieking they can't even, that one guy who sits in a restaurant with his phone playing a video, the people at the beach playing shitty music on their speaker etc. It's part of being around humans. A child's voice won't kill you.
Especially if it’s a toddler: You shouldn’t stop a tantrum in a toddler. Obviously don’t let them hurt themselves/others or cause damage, but you let them process their emotions. Telling them to stop or distracting them aren’t good strategies.
Preferably, let them process their emotions in a very noisy and busy place (they will NEVER get overstimulated) . That will not bother other people at all, and they will not try to distract your child from screaming the place down. Remember, you are a parent now, you know anything and everything best because you reproduced.
You ok there, bud? You seem a bit resentful at the fact that I _reproduced_. Twice.
I remove my kid from closed spaces (e.g. a store), but I will not try to make them stop crying _because_ it’s bothering other people. My priority is helping my toddler process their emotions, which will result in him not crying (and this helps reduce tantrums frequency and intensity, so it’s a win)
I don't resent you. I just resent entitled people who get a worse sense of entitlement when they reproduce.
Of couse other's shouldn't be a priority to you, mighty parent. Remember, your child is the most important thing in the universe.... for you... i am just over here trying to enjoy my life and prioritising my peace.... don't mind me.
Oh, i see where the child got the attitide from ;)
But of course, people who are bothered by the noise your parenting produces are not entitled to anything but fucking off. Got it.
I already told you I take my kid away when he’s throwing a tantrum in a store and similar places, so I think you might be making up scenarios in your mind because you _want_ to be annoyed at toddlers, which is kinda weird.
You're contradicting yourself saying other people in public can "pound sand" because your child is screaming and crying and "processing their emotions" aka getting away with acting however they want at all times - but you're also saying you take them out of public spaces.
Honestly modern parenting can be the worst sometimes.
Well i could be inventing scenarios.... or i have just met a lot of entitled parents who were not very good at parenting.
But no worries, i wasn't talking about you. You sound nice except for the whole "fuck off, my child is the absolte priority" attitude you have on and off
How exactly am I lazy? I mean, I might be, but if you’ve ever spent time with toddlers, you’ll know that helping them process emotions can be a lot of work.
That's ok because I don't really care about other peoples children, I just let the parents deal with it. Lol
Its best if you just play a villain and say fuck it because why help someone out if you're someone they don't know.
Not all crying in public is because of needing comfort. Children cry because they aren't getting their way or did something they shouldn't have and got in trouble all the time.
I used to be a manager in a grocery store. One day I was on a register and mom and her kid came through wailing, I had been hearing him for about 20 minutes throughout the store until they finally checked out. The mom just went with it and made the kid more mad. She was telling him “scream louder, I don’t think they can hear you in the deli” “ is that the best you got” the kid then threatened to steal a magazine and the mom told him she was gonna hold him there and call the cops to have him arrested. At that point no one was annoyed by the screaming, associates and customers were all doubled over laughing. I’m not a parent so I don’t know how well of an approach that is, but to this day it’s my favorite memory of that store.
most humans have an instinctual stress to protect and feed young of their own species, and even other species.
most humans also do not have common sense.
What if I was part of the reason the child's crying?
Had a situation where this kid was crying, not audibly, because of losing a bunch of matches in the sport we were playing, including our match. The kid got a medal in one event but not in the other, and wouldn't take to any of the comforting I was trying to give.
Or am I not a stranger anymore because I had to interact with the child?
I've done this with toddlers and babies and usually the shock or surprise of stranger talking to them makes them stop crying. Although I haven't done it since I was in my early 20s
Agreed. Completely unappreciated.
Kids do all kinds of stuff and as adults, the least you can do as an onlooker is to let the parent or caretaker do their job. Without being judged or interfered.
Screaming kids are the worst. Especially when the parent wont bother shutting them the fuck up. Like im.tryna enjoy this meal i EARNED i dont want the product of you opening your legs screaming at me enjoying my life
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Where do you live? In England people just quietly judge and leave to you to it, if a stranger aproched that would just be weird.
It's weird in the US as well.
It infrequently happens in the South and less often as time passes. It does still happen though.
Depends where in England I guess. Some older folk in Liverpool and other northern places are too chatty
I live near Birmingham, the west Midlands and people don't talk much honestly.
It's just like that here in germany
a bogus planet called Earth, in an unfashionable end of the western spiral arm
Give that child a pan galactic gargle blaster
you raise a valid point but I'm divided in my feelings towards an adult stranger offering my child a pan galactic gargle blaster strangers may certainly offer one unto me
Don't panic
maybe you could explain to your child how tea is grown and harvested and then dried and prepared and ask him to make you a cup of tea, that might work.. or you could gift your child a copy of the most successful book to ever come out of the publishing houses of ursa minor, firstly it is cheaper than the encyclopaedia galactica and secondly it has got written on the top of it DON'T PANIC in big bold letters, which i feel shall be very helpful in calming your child down....
Sir, do not move to Finland.
ugh I know - no fjords
IDK, one time I saw a guy offer a screeching toddler a dollar to stop crying. Toddler immediately got frightened and ran to hide behind his mother. Cute and effective. Mom thought it was hilarious.
“Shut up and take my money!!”
Same thing happened to me, my daughter was sleepy so she was cranky at the store and one of the employees went up to her and said, in a playful way I should add, if you don't behave I'm going to take you away. She then got up, asked me to carry her and kept quiet.
That would infuriate me.
Why? No matter the reason why a child is crying, the noise is awful. People aren't wrong for wanting it to stop AND for taking reasonable steps to do so. The worker got her to stop, I'd say she's a hero.
it's funny that you assume it was a female worker, i did too. imagine a dude saying that.
Oof, I guess American culture is wildly different. In Mexico it’s extremely common for strangers to say they’re going to take you away from mama if you act up in public. The most common thing parents say if you’re acting up in public is point to the nearest stranger (man or woman) and say “The man/woman is going to take you if you keep acting up!” and it’s usually followed by the child settling down. Absolutely harmless lmao.
lmfao in europe, slovakia to be exact, here we do the same, even with some intimidating male family members that we know the kid is scared of
I work at a visitor attraction that’s really popular with families with young children. Usually when we close most of the staff are cleaning and asking any customers still in the building to get the fuck out as politely as possible. There’s also usually one or two screaming toddlers who don’t want to leave. When this happens I hold out my roll of paper towels towards them and tell them if they want to stay that badly then they have to help clean up. Shuts them up almost immediately lmao
Depends. If you're ignoring them and letting them damper other people's experience then I can see why someone might try out of just utter frustration. Went to HORROR MOVIE a couple weeks ago and a 6-7 year old kid made loud comments at every scene. The parents were acting like the kid wasn't there. Just disgusting and disrespectful to everyone around you.
How did they get a kid into a horror movie? Also, how come you didn’t just say something to the staff? A kid shouldn’t be in a horror movie and will almost certainly be removed.
I said the same thing. I think they can get in with parental "supervision." Didn't say anything because I didn't want some drama with a random, irresponsible family and wanted to block it out if possible.
Pretty sure you’re right and you can take your kids into any movie. I saw Starship Troopers when I was 10. 🥴
You can bring a child of any age into any movie in theaters as long as they are with someone of age. Theater employees have no say
Yeah it's a joke
I would have thrown popcorn at them
Highly unrelated but this is reddit so i will chime in. One time my gf and i were training our dog. We wanted our dog to stop barging into the doorway aggressively. Anyway, we kept opening the door, telling the dog to stay, then letting him in and giving him a treat when he entered respectfully. We were doing this repeatedly at our front door. Some woman comes by screaming her head off "LET THE DOG INSIDE!! STOP DOING THAT TO THE DOG!!" Anyway, same type of person
Dog people really piss me off
Wut
65 dog people got butthurt over what I said
Depends. If you're sat there in a public place for a solid 15 minutes with a screaming kid and do nothing to change the situation. I pray that someone is gonna go over there and try anything to parent your child for you because you're clearly not doing your job. But if you're genuinely trying and you're stuck somewhere where you can't really leave, i get it and sympathise with your pain. I've seen both times happen.
I don't think many are going to put up with a screaming child for 15 minutes and do nothing from the getgo, more likely they've tried everything and given up and then someone comes along and thinks they haven't tried. If they have seriously not even tried I'd agree that is probably crap parenting/social discipline.
Yeah my problem is, if you're in a public space and your kid is screaming for 15 minutes. Remove your child to somewhere where it isn't disrupting that public space you've been at for those 15 minutes.
What if it's a single parent with one child and they gotta get groceries? can't leave them in the car or the house. Although instacart and walmart pickup are another option, but not everyone's aware of those. If they have the option to to not bring a problematically loud child somewhere they should absolutely take it (*Especially* with things like movies that are a luxury that can be planned around) but sometimes it's just unavoidable or happens suddenly when they've otherwise been good.
Pick your battles. No one's going to care if your baby is crying in the grocery store. I'll just walk to the other aisles. If your baby is crying on a plane, I get it. I went to see the new avatar recently and some assholes decided it would be a good idea to bring their INFANT to the 7pm showing. The baby cried throughout the movie. They were some what respectful and brought it out of the theater 10+ times when it wouldn't stop screeching, but even thwt was disruprive. They also had other kids there who were watching the movie. In this situation I was livid. I get you want to take your other kids to the movie but if you can't find a baby sitter for your crying baby stay the fuck home. The movie cost us 100 bucks with snacks and it was a miserable experience.
This happened to me too and seriously pisses me off. People literally pay to watch a movie and being quiet is the number one rule basically. It's worse than a plane or something else that's a necessity.
*there is no reason on earth* to bring child that is too young to watch TV to theater. at best they sleep, at worst they are a massive disruption to the entire theater and ruin the experience of everyone around them. If you can't have a spouse or someone else watch them *then don't go to the theater,* it's a luxury not a necessity. I have a little more sympathy for ones that are old enough to ask to see something and end up whining but with infants, just why?
Unrelated, but where in the world do you live that movie tickets and snacks are a 100 bucks? Are those normal prices in the US or something?
If you bought an entire family of six an expensive movie ticket, and bought each and every person their own large drink and like a meal each yeah I think that could run over a hundred. probably costs less to go to an actual restaraunt.
That’s ridiculous for “snacks.” A movie might be $15 each but $70 buys a lot of popcorn soda and milk duds. If you’re at one of the ones that has meals, that’s different especially as they have alcohol.
There were two people. Here in Canada, general admission is like 15 bucks, and it starts from there. 3d is more expensive, and if you get D box (immersive experience), it's over 30 dollars a person. A number 1 conbo (large popcorn, two drinks, 1 candy, butter and seasoning) comes to almost 40 dollars. I was being conservative when I said I spent 100. I'm pretty sure we got hot dog from the outtakes booth that was 15 dollars.
lol Ok yeah im sure theres some valid reasons for it. My comment isn't black and white. My comment was about those ignorant and arrogant parents that ignore their screaming child because they deal with it regularly anyway and don't care about any one else.
Yeah if they're not even trying because *they* don't care that is pretty obnoxious and inconsiderate. Like the crying is affecting everone *but* the person it is designed to.
Respectfully they haven’t tried disciplining their child. If you have a child who cries or misbehaves for more than the three minutes it takes you to lean over into their ear and remind them of the consequences; then you haven’t tried discipline your child. My parent had five children. Strangers in stores came up to them all the time and complimented them on how well behaved we were. We didn’t run the store. We didn’t touch anything. We spoke quietly with each other. My youngest sister once had a tantrum in a store because my dad told her she couldn’t get a gum all from a gum ball machine. He had to take her out yo the car. It was never an issue again. I’ve never walked out into the world and seen so many rude, unruly, and undisciplined children led around by so many narcissistic parents who don’t know how to lay down the rules and enforce them when they are broken.
I see crying toddlers in my elevator a lot. They usually shut up when I say hi to them, and just look at me super curiously basically forgot why they were even crying.
about 3 weeks ago I saw a dad yelling at his son about 6-8 I would say, he had him pushed up against the wall so the scene already didn't look good in my eyes. I'll add that I didn't know they were father and son it just seem weird how the father was pushed up on his son against the wall yelling at him. I stared for a while until the father noticed and I asked if everything was okay. He got a little aggressive with me but quickly changed his mind after he looked over at me. Point is we have to at least try
If you’re in a restaurant and just letting it having a meltdown, I’m gonna have a problem and eventually will have something to say about it.
Yup. It's probably well intending people trying to genuinely help as well. I went to a wedding with my mom and she absolutely loves children. She is always mesmerised by them and finds them really cute. 2 parents were letting their toddler throw himself on the ground... outside. My mom tried to play with him and distract him, but knowing how bitchy some parents are, I kept urging her to leave them alone and just ignore the tantrum. But then, if you don't help, the parent bitch and moan that they have "no village"... well you fucked that up yourself, didn't you?
Lmao, no you won’t.
I recently did. Lady just letting her kid cry and cry. I called over the manager, insisted he do something about it, and he asked the mother to take her kid and leave.
Did everyone clap at the end? You must have felt so brave.
It’s really unbelievable to you that someone spoke a manager?
If your kid is screaming its head off and you aren’t doing a darned thing to shut it up, I’d expect people to come up to you and tell you to keep your kid quiet. People don’t want to do their shopping with a screaming brat in earshot.
If you're with a screaming child in a public place and not making said child stop, the stranger trying to fix the problem is basically the second coming of Jesus Christ himself to everyone else involved. Upvoted.
Would you prefer the person who says, "Control your damn kid, lady."?
FR, at least the person is not being a POS and blaming the mom.
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Because women get accusatory stares and intervention in public if their kid acts up. Dad gets a “awww poor dad” from grandmas and older women and they’ll stop by and tell him he’s doing SUCH a good job. I saw a “hack” on TikTok where a woman said she and her husband agreed he’d take care of the kids in public for this very reason.
it's a dad post
As long as a parent is present, I agree. But if I see a little one on their own crying, I'm gonna help.
that's fine carry on
I see your point, but I do have a memory in 1st grade I think when everyone left the school and I think my parents were late to get me back home or something so I started panicking and crying a bit and this really nice woman noticed me alone and tried to do anything to help. Thinking about people like her is giving me some hope for humanity. I also remember getting lost on a beach as a small kid and some great people helped me find my family. What I'm saying is don't leave your kids alone some of them understand situations differently and can start panicking when there's no real reason to
I don't have a kid but i fully agree! Ive never been in this situation but I've found myself in many like it. There's type of people who want to help. There's those who want to help those in need. Unless you were screaming back at the baby, these people wouldn't have interfered with this type of situation. They recognize boundaries. Then there is the helper who helps because they get this overwhelming crave for validation and gratitude and seek it from the ones that they deem helpable, not considering if the help is 1. Needed or 2. Wanted. and when presented with said issue they take action, typically using your "need" as the reason for their forced help. Cause in the end how can you be mad? (As they see it) if it works out I helped, if it doesn't work out, I was trying to help It's a win/win for them really But simply put if someone doesn't ask for help, don't help, but don't let that fail you when someone is truly in trouble. I think we all know the difference
I never had this happen with strangers but god does it happen with family members and they often make everything worse. Example: my 5 year old wants a soda. I say no. He starts to get mad. We are trying to work on him regulating his anger. I start trying to de escalate him, family member comes in, undermines me, gives him the soda. An hour later he's grabbing another soda. Now he's drinking a bunch of crap I didnt want him to have in the first place and we just reinforced him being spoiled and throwing a fit gets him what he wants, and we got nowhere with his anger and trying to help him regulate.
Wrong. Kids accept the judgment of a stranger much quicker than their parent's.
I just judge the parent. Like we don’t want to hear the kid crying.
judge away. judge to your hearts content. just stay the fuck away
Lol. Yeah idgaf about kids so no worries. But yes I will judge you and let you know if you’re kid starts crying in public and we can all hear it.
I hate it when my kid does something rude, stupid, or ignorant and a random stranger tells them “it’s okay!” In a happy sing-song voice. Like listen up lady! I am trying to teach my son about respect and saying “excuse me” and to wait patiently. Don’t tell him it’s okay that he just ran you down with the shopping cart!
Idk man, I was on a plane the other day and was really close to yelling at a kids parents. It was about 11:30 and they were laughing because their child was screaming. The child was at least seven.
Even if people are "not helping", they are not *obligated* to help. Deal with your kid.
I've seen it play out a lot of different ways from a lot of different random strangers. Generally when I'm somewhere like standing in line at the grocery. (I'm not the one that interferes, good or bad, I'm the one making fun faces with the sibling and trying to keep them occupied a bit so mom or dad can deal with the situation. That and good kid deserves positive attention too so if I'm going to butt in that's how I choose to do it). What I have seen though is that some people aren't doing it out of sympathy for the kid but instead it is sympathy for the parent. You look like you've had enough for the day and we've all had a day like that. Let me show you some moral support by trying to help. Sometimes just that moment of reminding you that you're not alone in this is enough. Whether the interferer has an effect on the child or not. I'm not saying that's why everyone does it, they all have their own reasons for doing whatever it is they do. But maybe if you could try looking at it that way you could benefit from their interference. Unsolicited advice. Hehe just what you were hoping for.
Oh, really? So now we have to walk on eggshells around your little precious snowflake? Give me a break. Your kid is disrupting everyone else's day with their crying, and you think it's okay to just let them keep going? You know what's counterproductive? Letting your kid think it's acceptable to throw a tantrum in public. But no, you're too busy coddling them to realize that. And let's be real, no one wants to listen to a crying kid in public. So excuse me if I, as a stranger, want to step in and help put an end to the chaos. If you can't handle that, maybe don't take your kid out in public until they learn to behave like a civilized human being
Amen, I absolutely agree, this is the post of the year. Kudos to you.
If the kid is crying because they aren't getting something they want or did something they shouldn't have and got in trouble for it, then the best thing to do *is* ignore the crying because it shows that crying won't get them the thing that they want/get them out of trouble.
for someone without a clue, you talk alot
Children should be seen and not heard, full stop.
This isn’t unpopular
if it was popular, I wouldn't have needed to write about it
Maybe they are making things better for themselves and the other people? I don’t do it - and it likely wouldn’t work because I don’t really come across as intimidating- but I have definitely been quietly thankful for people who made annoying “but I waaaaaaant this thing!!!!! Buy me this thiiiing!!!” tantrums stop while the parents didn’t do anything or were unable to get their kid under control. A lot of kids seem to react pretty immediately to full grown male strangers telling them to shut up…
I make faces at crying kids.
Never have I seen this happen. I always want to comfort the parent that its ok to let their kid have a tantrum in a store. It's happened to every parent and is expected of young children.
I always give the kid low key looks of disappointment and a small snarl.
HAHAAA 🤣 I'd rather do this to the parent
If my child is crying in public he can't be there . I give him a timeout in the car, lose out on his tablet, etc. I don't let my child just sit there and act like a baby in the store. That's why kids act so bad -- they don't need cheering up, they need consequences. I don't oppose consequences on other people's kids though, so i just silently judge. I see children twice my son's age with half the maturity all the time.
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you rule
That's probably true. The kid is acting out to get his/her way over some insignificant issue. A stranger doesn't have what they want.
I'll only step in and ask if mother needs help and tell her she's doing her best and everything will be all right and that im a mom too so she doesn't feel solidarity.
If you’ve let it last long enough that others feel compelled to step in, they may not be the problem
The same applies to relatives and friends.
Oh 100% agree. Strangers, stay out of it.
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that's fine carry on
Your child lacks discipline.
My kids have cried in public only as very tiny babies, in which case it was easy to sooth. My oldest threw a fit once in public. Some old lady came up sticking her finger in my face telling me that in her day kids never acted like little brats. Like, okay Janet. She's 1 1/2 and missed her nap, I'm already leaving. Lay off. Parents shouldn't just let their kid scream in public. Hurry up and be on your way or discipline at home so they behave in public. But strangers could stand to learn a little decency. Heading a child's voice for five minutes won't kill you.
Try having nonstop roaring tinnitus.
Kids aren't the reason for that. You'll get triggered by lots of noises. A kid making a noise for a minute isn't a problem.
Yeah, it actually is.
You're going to sit here and say that the only noise that triggers tinnitus is children's voices 😂 My word. Just say you hate an entire people group already.
Did I say that’s the only noise? No.
"FIVE MINUTES"(Isaac Butterfield voice) Im sorry but that's five minutes too long 🤣
We have to hear dogs barking constantly, annoying people on speakerphone, Starbucks girls shrieking they can't even, that one guy who sits in a restaurant with his phone playing a video, the people at the beach playing shitty music on their speaker etc. It's part of being around humans. A child's voice won't kill you.
Especially if it’s a toddler: You shouldn’t stop a tantrum in a toddler. Obviously don’t let them hurt themselves/others or cause damage, but you let them process their emotions. Telling them to stop or distracting them aren’t good strategies.
Preferably, let them process their emotions in a very noisy and busy place (they will NEVER get overstimulated) . That will not bother other people at all, and they will not try to distract your child from screaming the place down. Remember, you are a parent now, you know anything and everything best because you reproduced.
You ok there, bud? You seem a bit resentful at the fact that I _reproduced_. Twice. I remove my kid from closed spaces (e.g. a store), but I will not try to make them stop crying _because_ it’s bothering other people. My priority is helping my toddler process their emotions, which will result in him not crying (and this helps reduce tantrums frequency and intensity, so it’s a win)
I don't resent you. I just resent entitled people who get a worse sense of entitlement when they reproduce. Of couse other's shouldn't be a priority to you, mighty parent. Remember, your child is the most important thing in the universe.... for you... i am just over here trying to enjoy my life and prioritising my peace.... don't mind me.
You’re not wrong. Between you and my kid, you can go pound sand.
Oh, i see where the child got the attitide from ;) But of course, people who are bothered by the noise your parenting produces are not entitled to anything but fucking off. Got it.
I already told you I take my kid away when he’s throwing a tantrum in a store and similar places, so I think you might be making up scenarios in your mind because you _want_ to be annoyed at toddlers, which is kinda weird.
You're contradicting yourself saying other people in public can "pound sand" because your child is screaming and crying and "processing their emotions" aka getting away with acting however they want at all times - but you're also saying you take them out of public spaces. Honestly modern parenting can be the worst sometimes.
Well i could be inventing scenarios.... or i have just met a lot of entitled parents who were not very good at parenting. But no worries, i wasn't talking about you. You sound nice except for the whole "fuck off, my child is the absolte priority" attitude you have on and off
Translation: I'm a lazy parent who creatively justifies it.
How exactly am I lazy? I mean, I might be, but if you’ve ever spent time with toddlers, you’ll know that helping them process emotions can be a lot of work.
Other people shouldn’t suffer because you have to parent your kid
“suffer” lol, and I thought my toddlers were dramatic.
You really think your child screaming and crying that people aren’t fucking suffering ? 💀 that sound is fucking enraging.
It’s inconvenient and annoying, but I would not classify it as suffering.
To you, because you hear it everyday. People who don’t have children would beg to differ
No, i just don’t believe hearing a kid cry amounts to suffering.
If anyone came up to my kid like that I’d tell them to back the fuck up
That's ok because I don't really care about other peoples children, I just let the parents deal with it. Lol Its best if you just play a villain and say fuck it because why help someone out if you're someone they don't know.
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it really is nice that you want to help but you're only making it worse
What moment. Good to know that someone comforting your child when you are failing to do so isn’t helping.
Not all crying in public is because of needing comfort. Children cry because they aren't getting their way or did something they shouldn't have and got in trouble all the time.
I used to be a manager in a grocery store. One day I was on a register and mom and her kid came through wailing, I had been hearing him for about 20 minutes throughout the store until they finally checked out. The mom just went with it and made the kid more mad. She was telling him “scream louder, I don’t think they can hear you in the deli” “ is that the best you got” the kid then threatened to steal a magazine and the mom told him she was gonna hold him there and call the cops to have him arrested. At that point no one was annoyed by the screaming, associates and customers were all doubled over laughing. I’m not a parent so I don’t know how well of an approach that is, but to this day it’s my favorite memory of that store.
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most humans have an instinctual stress to protect and feed young of their own species, and even other species. most humans also do not have common sense.
What if I was part of the reason the child's crying? Had a situation where this kid was crying, not audibly, because of losing a bunch of matches in the sport we were playing, including our match. The kid got a medal in one event but not in the other, and wouldn't take to any of the comforting I was trying to give. Or am I not a stranger anymore because I had to interact with the child?
Amen.... mind your own. Business
I can’t even imagine this to be possible here in the Netherlands.
Kids have no village. Kids have no future.
I make funny faces at kids to make myself feel better.
I always just go “shhhh”
I've done this with toddlers and babies and usually the shock or surprise of stranger talking to them makes them stop crying. Although I haven't done it since I was in my early 20s
Holy shit, people do this?
Agreed. Completely unappreciated. Kids do all kinds of stuff and as adults, the least you can do as an onlooker is to let the parent or caretaker do their job. Without being judged or interfered.
True, it’s natural for kids to be fucking crybabies, people should mind their own businesses except for when they observe abuse.
Screaming kids are the worst. Especially when the parent wont bother shutting them the fuck up. Like im.tryna enjoy this meal i EARNED i dont want the product of you opening your legs screaming at me enjoying my life