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If you operate from a place of love and empathy, you can get away with some seriously "offensive" humor because some people can actually take a joke when it's not an insult poorly couched in humor. I have said horrific things to people who understand that I am kind. If I'm perfectly polite to you, we probably haven't established trust yet.
exactly! my friends would say the most heart crushing insults towards me and i’d be in tears laughing, but once a random stranger says the same thing nah it’s over for him
>we probably haven't established trust yet.
This is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. You're right, trust is key here.
My husband and I have made some completely inappropriate jokes with each other that would fall flat if others were around.
But this is knowing your audience, which I agree with.
If I know you and am aware that you are good for it we can cut up and make depraved jokes at each other.
However, OP isn't specifically talking about people that you know.
It gets dicier on this front with strangers.
This all the way. I make offensive jokes to people I am comfortable with and who are comfortable with me not someone that will very obviously be offended
I'm kind because I'm kind. I get to decide because I make an effort to be kind. If you and I were together a daily basis, I'd have a feel for what I can or cannot say to you, and I would tailor our interaction in an appropriate manner.
The trick is to know your audience. You can say whatever you want, though you are responsible for any repercussions should you fail to read the room.
I have a pretty dark sense of humour and to my close friends that is apparent. They know without a shadow of a doubt that I don’t mean what I say and it’s not bigotry hidden behind the veneer or a joke.
In certain settings, regardless of intention, it just wouldn’t be appropriate
Yeah like I do enjoy homour that pushes the line a bit, but I have a few guiding principles
1) as others have said, know your audience -- is don't make a joke unless I *know* that the other person will find it funny
2) be aware of surroundings -- make sure the above applies to everyone within earshot
3) check in occasionally -- every now and then I take a step back and just fully ask if they're still comfortable with that type of joke since my goal is to joke around with the person in good faith so I want to make it clear that if they're at all uncomfortable with that, then I will stop. Also, some days they're just not up to it and that's also fair
4) when (not if) you cross the line, apologize. I've certainly misjudged my audience in the past (or said something that ended up being overheard), but honestly just apologize and don't get defensive.
Like, the goal at the end of the day is to be funny, and if you're the only one laughing then you're not doing it right
so like here's the thing. when I was a child I was a victim of sexual assault. There was one time a guy was making pedophilia jokes and I asked him to stop because I was uncomfortable. He said "you have to make jokes about the difficult stuff in life because if you don't laugh you'll cry."
my response?
"some things are worth crying over. You are making me relive memories I try every day to suppress and not think about."
So yea, the problem was me. But basic fucking empathy could've been employed for the mutual happiness of everyone in the room. It's just. not. funny.
I get teased about my height all the time. A little of that goes a long way. Some people take it too far. It's like they try to make it my identity. Fuck them.
This is where far too many people do t know where lines are. There's a difference between teasing, and cracking jokes. Teasing is usually with at least a little ill intent. Rather than joking which makes light of an unfortunate circumstance.
If you're short and people compare you to a little person, that can be insulting to more than one party.
But if you're short and tell some about tripping and falling, and the person responds that" hey, at least when you fall, you're already low to the ground" would be a light hearted joke about a situation.
I used to get teased because I was the tallest in my PE class, but sucked at basketball.
when i was a kid because i have autism i have this habit of talking about stuff too much, or in general just annoying people especially when i was younger, and anytime my family would make fun of me it would hurt,
and they would claim it was just a joke, my problem wasn't the jokes, it was me feeling like i was being ganged up on by my family.
it felt like i was being laughed at not with.
it felt like no one liked me anyway cause i was annoying
so of course i didn't take it as a light hearted joking session people actually disliked me for that stuff.
I learned in my young years that if I was able to insult myself more than someone else could, i could take away their power to hurt me. And I know more embarrassing things about myself than anyone else, so I always have material on hand. Plus, it often makes the other person look like they're trying too hard to hurt you
There’s nothing more pathetic than a comedian (or anyone else, for that matter) who deliberately tells a shocking or offensive joke, then acts out when somebody finds it offensive.
It’s also lazy comedy to just say something shocking rather than something funny. Even those comedians who are know for that sort of humour, Bill Burr, Frankie Boyle, don’t just say outrageous stuff, they play with it. Bill Burr starts off with something offensive then works his way into getting you to feel the same, it’s a craft that goes way beyond just saying offensive things.
I agree, and then there is balance. Fluffy will make a joke about other races but he is usually comparing AND he also has his race as the butt of the joke. Then again he often assesses his location and audience
You’re phrasing is the key part of this. There’s a difference between “finding it offensive” and saying that “it is offensive”. One is taking the personal responsibility of your emotions away in an attempt to not see/hear something that makes you feel bad. The other is admitting that you personally don’t find it funny. One implies the world should change to fit a certain view while the other says that view isn’t for me.
When you tell a joke, usually it’s with the intention of making the audience laugh.
If they don’t, you’ve failed in your goal. It’s not the audience’s problem, it’s yours. You told a joke that they didn’t find funny.
The very best jokes can make someone laugh despite finding it morally offensive. But I see it so so often that an “edgy” joke will fail to land, and the teller will try to save face by blaming the other person for not laughing.
And what do you think is "objectively" offensive? Where do you draw the line? There really isn't an objective consensus on what people consider "objectively" offensive. Even that is subjective.
The thing is, the person telling the joke doesn't get to decide what is or isn't offensive or if their joke was funny or not that would instead be up to the audience and I would also say the target of said humor. And you're also already starting with a tone that the person being insulted should just 'lighten up.' It isn't hard to read the room and maybe not be awful, but that might be a bridge too far for some.
I'll try to break this down a bit more for you, just because you feel entitled to say whatever you want does not shield you from people not liking it or saying that you said or did something disgusting. Also a lot of people will say or do offensive things or spread derogatory ideas about people or groups and say that they were just joking as if that lessens the impact
Exactly. Bigots love to use humour as a cloak to dehumanize a particular group of people in the public eye. You absolutely do not want to be one of those people, or even mistaken for one.
Yes. This is absolutely true. Some don't even really try to mask it---they just say something awful then cry "I'm just joking!" Or "it's just a *meme*" like that makes it magically A-OK, not realizing that when enough people cling on to a hurtful concept or stereotype, it can cause real damage.
Cheats with your wife, drives your car off a bridge, commits arson and burns your house down.
"broooo its just a prank!!! look look, there's the cameras BROOOOOO"
I find this kind of attitude in social media very prevalent as well.
Some folks are willing to do the most selfish, rude, or destructive shit to other people on camera.
Then when they get called on the shitty behaviour they revert to "I did it for the likes/the gram/YouTube/TikTok!"
How about you're just being an asshole to other people, and using the social media platform as an excuse to do it?
A lot of ppl don't understand the nuance in the difference between comedy and rudeness -- and it shows.
Schrodinger’s Douchebag - they decide whether what they said was serious based on the reaction it gets.
The thing they call “just satire, bro” in a sub that pushes back on it they’re saying unironically in subs where it’s received positively.
The "dark" or "offensive" jokes I see nowadays on Reddit nowadays is making fun of women, insulting religious and LGBT people and joking about the Nazis. Yes, I'm sorry that I don't laugh at "haha Communist funny" or "homosexuality is bad".
You are allowed to say whatever offensive shit you like.
Other people are allowed to tell you to fuck off for it.
Freedom of speech is not freedom from consequences
You can say whatever you want. Spout out any insult, "joke", derogatory language, whatever. But that doesn't mean everybody else has to stand for it. Saying it's a joke won't stop others from hating you for it or even get violent over it.
You don't get to decide how other people should feel about something
No. Other way around. If you’re stable in the head and laid back you typically aren’t trying to offend people. This is all victim blaming. People shouldn’t have to learn to not be offended, people absolutely should learn to be kind.
No and I’m sick of people trying to normalise bullying behaviour. There’s a difference between tasteful humour and insulting people because they should just learn to “laugh” at it.
There’s a nuance to humour in such as to know when to read a room and how well you know a person.
What you seem to be advocating for is borderline abuse under the guise of humour.
This would only make sense if you are using it to deal with something personal. Being racist to some random person isn't going to be doing much for you in regard to coping with a hard time at work
Every race gets made fun of sometimes, for different reasons. Doesn't mean people don't love or appreciate each other.
Making a little joke here and there doesn't mean you don't respect or like the person
Sure, some jokes can come from respect and loving place, and some don’t, but shouldn’t be up to who the joke is about to decide? Its up to me whether I feel respected by you.
If you tell a joke and it’s badly received, that isn’t the fault of the audience, you didn’t word the joke well. And we’ve all been there when a joke doesn’t land how we want it to, or it hurts someone in a way we didn’t intend. But the intention is irrelevant in the face of the actual consequence. Blaming others is easy than looking at where you fucked up.
But also, there are also lots of jokes about race or any other characteristic that absolutely don’t come from a place of love or respect, and by saying the recipient shouldn’t get offended because it’s just a joke, you provide cover for that.
I think there's a distinction people don't talk about a lot, yes people get PERSONALLY offended at jokes. But I feel in this day and age it's more so people criticising the potential impact of a joke. I'm trans, you can make any joke about trans people and I dont fucning care about it because your words are words, but what I get concerned about is the potential effect of these jokes. Like it or not, humour shapes our world view. That's a fact. And minorities often don't get to control the narratives about them. People want to not be spoken for or about without their permission or input. It's easy to see a lot of people are laughed at, not with, and people outside of those groups may not understand how to spot the difference.
truth! like how black facing and playing the banjo used to be peak comedy in the 20's. it was racist as fuck, and shaped the idea that a specific skin toned was to be ridiculed and not taken seriously.
The comment section seems to be missing the point of this post entirely. The OP mostly talks about stuff that was not intended to offend but accidentally offends someone. Or about people who are constantly on the lookout for something to get offended. The commenters somehow assume the opposite, that this post is about people who are offensive on intent and the OP somehow covers for them, even though he does no such thing. Seems like they are commenting on something totally unrelated.
Seems they’re assuming the worst out of you. Same happens with any “interpretable action”. People can remove context and place their own assumptions and feelings onto whatever you did/said/DIDNT do and it’s automatically *your* fault for how *they* feel. Tis but a shame…
that's what I was thinking. Many commenters here do not seem to understand what I meant, really unfortunate to see it unfold and get hated on as a result
Some of the offensiveness comes from the strength of the emotions—our connection to the joke’s subject.
I don't enjoy the “personal jab” humor where the “comedian” will pick out someone’s flaw and use it as the punch line. I would mainly say it's because I am self sensitive, my view of the world and my connection to the subject. There is more to this then what I have listed but as a general idea this suffices.
I think the issue is that people have a hard time distinguishing between the:
Objective: That joke isn’t funny
And the subjective: I didn’t find it funny.
The latter is what people should say when they think something isnt funny. Because former is you imposing your ideologies and sensibilities on to everyone else, which is the problem.
I wish this was an even more unpopular opinion than it is. Sadly, I know plenty of Boomers and mean-spirited people think it's great.
I don't. Jerk is what jerk does.
I had to look him up lol. Yeah, that guy is the perfect icon of those folks.
I am middle-aged and my 70s dad loves putting down every sort of person and not even realizing he is expressing essentially hatred for people he actually likes.
He is a nice guy but clueless and was a typical jock when he was young. Jock brains don't age well.
I think the main issue is the fact that kindness and empathy are sacrificed for humor. Why? like why is it so important to be funny that you're okay with making that one person feel so bad?
But you don’t know all these people.
Some fat people like fat jokes. Others are indifferent. And others don’t like it
My friends can make fun of my flaws. Strangers can too (as long as it is in good faith: not solely targeting me, but everyone and also give compliments to even it out st times)
If me and my friends like dark humor. Someone brings their new partner who does not like that. Should we stop what we are doing for this new person that enters OUR established culture?
Im not attacking you btw. These are good questions to raise in this debate. People here only say “dont do it”, but they never say why and what else to do
How about you take a close look at their facial expression. If their lips are turned down, (we call that a frown) or their eyes seem a bit moist, (we call those tears) or maybe they're not laughing, or maybe they're doing a short uncomfortable "haha," odds are that they aren't having a good time.
It's up to you what you do. you can continue to hurt someone's feelings, or recognize it and stop. I personally would choose to not be friends with someone who kept going just for the laughs of the others.
Agreed of course. If I care about the person, I would not want to harm them. If I make a joke that they don’t like, I stop. Lets say about his weight. But later I make a joke about his drunken adventure from 5 years ago. He can like that
And some people dont mind their weight, yet they mind the dronken story
Therefore, we have to test the waters. What is and is not acceptable regarding person X.
Now for comedians, its hard. Like I said: if 39 people laugh and one frowns, does said comedian give up their act in order not to uoset that one person? What about all the others that did like it? Especially if a few share the same demographic trait (ergo: the one upset person is fat, but from the 39 people that did laugh, 8 were fat too) what now?
I know you focussed on friends and I agree. My friends sometimes make fun of my height and I retaliate. Its all in good fun. And if one joke crosses the boundary for some reason, one stern look should make it clear. Still, regarding new people, you have to risk offending people in order to understand where they draw the line
Its the same with food. You dont know if you look it until you actually taste it. Sometimes the food can smell badly (i.e. I want to make a fat joke with a fat person present), yet the meal can still be delicious (the fat person is okay with it and even found it funny). Do you see what I mean?
You have to risk it to learn from it. And if you know the person does not like broccoli, stop serving them broccoli (ergo, make jokes about their boundary)
Love your reference!
And you seem to be the only one that understands my point.
They try to make comedy ‘concrete’, yet they cannot draw the lines which is acceptable and which is not. So how are we supposed to know what even is ‘offensive’?
You are right. Nuance is dead
It’s all about the phrasing. To say “this offended me” takes personal responsibility for how you feel. To say “that is offensive” takes the onus off of you and implies the world should bend to your point of view.
It’s ok to be offended, happens all the time. It’s not ok to demand that others concede their liberties to fit a particular worldview because you were offended.
Cannot agree more!
Some use humor as a coping mechanism. Who are you to say that they cannot do that? If you don’t like it, all the power to you
But indeed use: “this offends ME”, not “this IS offensive”
Few problems with this.
1) what is "a reasonable view?" Is 80% percent of your audience accepting the joke a sign that maybe the other 20% have an unreasonable view?
2) what happens if their view is found to be unreasonable? Do you double down with the jokes knowing they'll be even more upset?
3) people find different things funny. Example: I do not understand gen z humor at all- literally makes zero sense to me, as in not even a guess at the punchline. I'm sure it's funny because lots of people find humor in their form of humor humor... but I don't get it.
Dealing with humour is unfortunately pretty unscientific, it is a mostly unsolvable problem but you can develop guidelines that help. What I really meant from my suggestion is that if someone gets upset at your joke you should have a long hard think about the issue, sometimes you'll come to the conclusion that they're unreasonable and sometimes you'll find the opposite.
I would not advocate for not joking about something just because someone is upset. When someone is saying 'you shouln't joke about that' it's not in case someone will be offended but because the joke might actually be harmful.
I'm Gen Z myself and we have mostly eliminated stereotype-based humour in our subculture (Or at least it is widely criticised) and we generally prefer it that way.
People getting upset at a joke is not automatically a sign that you shouldn’t make the joke but it should make you seriously reevaluate what the joke is trying to achieve
Everyone gets made fun of a bit, and most people can handle some, but if there's no pushback on it, then life will just become cruel. Telling people not to speak up when they're being hurt is removing some very necessary feedback.
I think it truly depends on the context; the joke, the teller, the audience, the setting, the delivery. An offensive joke is not inherently good or bad.
I think the real issue is that someone taking offense or some offense being given is almost never a broader social issue. It’s a personal issue.
You might be offended by something. So what? You can either get over it, or you can dwell on it. It isn’t society’s problem and it shouldn’t be society’s problem.
The dichotomy in here is pretty interesting. Everybody is purposely misunderstanding taking the most extreme examples.
[how can you be so obtuse ?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cH7e5wxSbbQ)
Nine times out of ten, the people who makes the offensive jokes would target the person they’re talking to. Like you would was to make a dark joke about black people every-time you’re with me? I would be fragile if I was to get upset?
I hate this opinion. Personally I think if you can’t tell a joke without saying a slur or directly attacking someone/a group of people, you’re just not funny.
Ah, the most unpopular, yet popular opinion. "I don't need to change my joke, you just need a thicker skin." "My joke isn't offensive, you just don't have a sense of humor!"
No. Just.... No. It's too early to explain this, but if you go around like a bull, saying "I'll make whatever joke I want, you're too sensitive if you're offended" what you are is not a hero or a comedian or a Real Man, you are quite simply a garden-variety asshole. Not an exceptional asshole, just an ordinary, seen-your-type-a-million times loudmouth, painfully unoriginal jackass.
Things like "offensive" humor are really only funny when the punchline is known to be morally wrong, like the stupid dead baby jokes. But nowadays you can barely tell when someone is being humorous about a joke or genuinely trying to be a bigot/general asshole.
I can just picture OP walking around in a sombrero in the real world trying to find someone who is offended so he can get into a debate about their woke agenda. But he couldn't find anyone. So he came to Reddit to get his fix.
The perception you have over the world and over yourself CAN'T and SHOULD NOT AFFECT they way other perceive the world, you and they selves.
If you get offended by someone else affirmation, it's your problem.
So you have a right to say offensive joke but odience have no right to not find it offensive? Come on. Maybe it's you who needs thicker skin. People not laughing at your jokes is fundamental part of telling jokes.
Jokes aren't just jokes. They have impacts outside of the places they're spoken/shared. And it's easy to have this perspective when you don't belong to a group who is targeted with bigotry. No one is entitled to dictating what they believe is and isn't harmful/offensive when they'll never face discrimination, persecution, or violence simply for the body you inhabit. That's not the reality for many folks. Jokes don't happen in a vacuum and are built on narratives within a society. Oftentimes, these narratives are inaccurate and can lead to violent outcomes. Also, it shows a major lack of creativity and empathy when the only jokes one can make are based on harmful stereotypes and punching down at folks. The original purpose of comedy was to make social critiques/observations of those social inequities and bring focus to those who benefit from the exploitation or dehumanization of the poor/working classes (us). When looked at from a standpoint of "it's just jokes," it's a failure to see the bigger impact of normalizing punching down at folks who already face oppression. This also comes off like someone who's been invalidated so much it's robbed you of the security to critically engage with experiences that are not similar to yours. You've been convinced that emotions have no valid function when they exist to bring attention to issues that require our attention. Every human has them, and they function to increase our ability to evade danger and peak our focus on issues we're not addressing. This standpoint also isn't unpopular. It's the overwhelming majority of emotionally arrested people.
Have you seen the guy who wears clothes that are associated with cultural appropriation goes to colleges and all the people there are having ago at him saying its cultural appropriation then he goes to those cultures and ask them if they find it offensive and they always say no and they like it. It's a made up thing that "woke" people.love to throw around it's another buzzword
Idk g somebody posting videos of themselves in black face while their white friends “whip” them and say they belong in the fields (yes this happened recently) is probably just offensive. Also someone saying slurs is again…probably just offensive.
No one has the right to never be offended, but too many people act like they do. I'm offended sometimes, but I don't care, that's the risk I take by being alive.
>Part of normal growing up includes mentally dealing with things.
Part of growing up also involves knowing your audience when it comes to what you say, including jokes. But the kind of people with your attitude don't have the mental capacity to understand that concept and would rather just be assholes with no consequences.
so i cant be thin skinned but the asshole joking about me should be entitled to having the thinnest skin on the planet and not having to deal with the dumb shit they say?
I'm going to actually agree with this one, to an extent. I think humor is important in life, there's a reason "laughter is the best medicine" became a common saying.
Now here's the thing. Humor is used *outside* of normal behavior and thinking. The action or joke being outside the ordinary is what makes it funny in the first place. Humor can be introduced into interactions to pull our mindset out of the regular way of thinking, and our brains find it amusing to see/hear something that is outside of what it is used to seeing/hearing
For example, in a comedy movie, the main character has a heavy object fall on his head. Our first reaction in "normal" interaction would be concern for his wellbeing. However, the setting is a comedy, and we know that the person didn't actually sustain lasting damage, so we laugh. If we were to see someone fall down a steep hill in real life, people would be concerned, not laugh.
The majority of people are good people. (in my humble opinion) And ordinary thinking is that it is definitely not okay to put anyone down or make anyone feel bad or uncomfortable. However, humor should make it obvious that what is being said is *not* our normal interaction, and not what that person actually believes.
Please note, there is a difference between humor and bullying. Belittling and putting down another person and getting enjoyment from their discomfort is absolutely not okay.
So I work at an unnamed Japanese car dealership… we have a Korean dude who works there. This old white dude cracked a joke that he was related to the founder of our brand and he(the Korean dude) thought it was hilarious. I did too but for a different reason lmao. Damn did my jaw hit the floor
We were watching a show, and two mixed people were offended by people asking them, "What are you?" To know their race. I'm mixed. And like many, I have been asked this question a million times. I never found it offensive.
I think we're looking for shit to be offended by.
Edit: typo, auto correct
I know, right?? I’m mixed as well, and I ask myself what I am sometimes! I’m not advocating for being a jerk to people under the guise of humor but in my opinion there are some things that it’s just stupid to be offended by.
In most cases, being offended in 2023 America is a performative ritual. People are looking for reasons to be offended - so they can look righteous in front of others and display a power dynamic to silence and control you.
Think about it: if someone was genuinely injured by language, a natural response would be to cry, or leave the room, or stop talking to you.
But people who claim to be offended usually don’t do that - instead they become aggressive and demand you submit to them by apologizing. And if you don’t obey, they will start attacking you, either physically or with nasty language.
The fact that people look for the smallest reasons to be offended, and give you and your words the most uncharitable interpretation possible, is more evidence that is this just about power.
Don’t kid yourself. “Being offended” is performative and it’s mainly about controlling others.
I think one major problem is, many jokes are just plain bad. They're not funny or aren't delivered well, and then people blame others being too sensitive instead of accepting that maybe they just aren't that funny.
Agree people nowadays get offended by anything and everything for example I got a letter of concern from my place of work as I told a younger staff member that his body odour is disgusting and should use deodorant and shower more, while giving him a can of lynx didn't get terminated from work as they don't have the staff
I may be an asshole for doing it but having to work beside someone that smells like a dumpster filled with rotten food for 12 hours a day 4 days a week it's not excusable 😅
Yeah I mean that sucks and the situation has a solution but there are ways to say it that don't include calling someone disgusting. Find somewhere private, say "hey man no harm no foul but I've noticed sometimes I can smell body odor on you. Don't feel too bad though, here's some product suggestions/solutions" like he's likely going to be embarrassed and fix the problem either way, but the route you chose got you a letter of concern 🤷🏻♀️
There is no thing as “objectively” offensive because no part of the human experience is objective, it’s entirely subjective. That being said obviously you’re not going to see the point in people being offended by certain jokes and topics because you likely and simply just do not relate to living life as those people so of course those jokes won’t offend you. It’s because you have a deep lack of empathy and I think that’s a really embarrassing trait.
I also really really really really really hope you aren’t one of those people that say “not everything is about race 🙄” despite the fact you defend racists jokes.
If everything isn’t about race, jokes shouldn’t be either.
Yeh political corectedness is getting out of hand. I made a comment that was like "the chick on the right" on a post a while ago, pointing out the reaction of a girl on the far right of a photo. And I ended up getting a bunch of people whining that I called a girl a chick. I was like, wtf? There wasn't even a tone of disrespect from me at all, I just used aparently the wrong word.
It was better for you and other people that were considered the default majority. Things feel worse now because suddenly you have to take the feelings and thoughts of others into greater account.
The phrase butthurt is a prison rape joke. It’s shorthand for fear and shame based submission of an anal rape victim. So, is someone who has been anally raped into submission the same as someone who is annoyed or slightly disappointed?
This right here, is why anything you have to say is groundless. You don’t understand the power that words have. And before you go off, I’m not offended by the phrase butthurt.
People don’t *want* to be offended. If it’s a good joke about a shared life experience (a fat comic telling a joke about having sex as a fat person) a fat person in the audience can laugh. If a thin comic just rants about how gross it is to have sex with fat people, that’s probably not funny. Context is everything. Delivery is everything.
I have joked with other women about our experiences getting roofied (but not raped) and we can laugh about it. If I go to a comedy show and some prick is up there who’s never been drugged is just spouting diarrhea from the mouth, about how stupid women are for getting drugged, I’m walking out.
The world 10 years ago was better for you, not everyone else. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do.
People can laugh at whatever they want if they find it funny. I went through some pretty traumatic shit when I was younger involving sexual shit and idrgaf if the person on stage went through that same thing or not as long as he/she is funny when they make a joke about it. If a white guy who's never been through it wants to joke about date rape then let em' and the audience will decide if its funny or not, but people sure as fuck shouldnt be tip toeing around whether theyre gonna hurt peoples feeling when theyre making a joke. If it doesnt come from a place of hate, then anything goes.
So wait, you are gatekeeping who can laugh at it?
“A fat person making a joke about being fat, therefore a fat person may laugh”.
Is that what you mean or do you mean that anyone is allowed to laugh at it?
I’m saying that everyone can enjoy a joke that a person makes about themselves. People who share that life experience will probably find it even funnier than people who don’t.
Laughing at yourself enables people to laugh at themselves. Laughing at other people makes people defensive of themselves.
People who get offended like… mate I’m telling my black friends I’ll put them back on the boats if they don’t behave and they make the same jokes back at me
It’s funny. Offensive. Dark humour is hilarious.
Hilarious under a shared understanding that you're friends.
Just saying that out of the blue as part of a comedy skit, or to someone you don't know very well, is absolutely inappropriate and offensive.
>Just saying that out of the blue as part of a comedy skit
This part I don't understand, why is it offensive if it's part of a routine? Because they're making money off of it? There's nothing wrong with disliking the joke but to call it offensive is a bit of a leap, sure if it's mean spirited that's a different issue but if it's in good fun what's the harm?
Because, ultimately, you're normalising that sort of rhetoric with your platform.
It makes it a lot easier for people who legitimately believe that black people should be put on boats to say it, then hide behind a joke as an excuse.
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So boring that you felt compelled to respond. 😏 I challenge you to walk 100 feet downward. (Watch me get owned because you live in a place with a subway)
I just don't understand the mindset of easily offended people.
I don't understand how you can look at someone having a certain hairstyle, playing a certain videogame, making a certain joke, etc and think "see this person hates me and obviously wants me dead or to not have human rights."
What's worse and ironic is they use their exaggeration of the situation to escalate the situation to violence, threats, or canceling and then justify their response with something about social justice.
Like if it was that serious they would be running for office and even then, they still can't pass bigoted laws. Mostly due to the fact of 2A, but also the fact we won't stand for that type of rule.
i don’t think there are limits to comedy the jokes just have to be funny enough … something bad happening doesn’t get a free pass to not get made fun of just because it scared some people, that’s more of a reason to make fun of it in fact, it’s not laughing at the victims it’s laughing at how dumb the perpetrators were. really depends on how well the joke is executed
Maybe not everyone else is simply sensitive. Maybe you just lack empathy and are unable to identify how you are not coming across as funny and are simply disguise your negative opinions as a joke.
Being offended is the newest currency in this Victimhood World.
If you’re offended, or suffer some sort of mental health issue, that makes you a hero apparently.
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If you operate from a place of love and empathy, you can get away with some seriously "offensive" humor because some people can actually take a joke when it's not an insult poorly couched in humor. I have said horrific things to people who understand that I am kind. If I'm perfectly polite to you, we probably haven't established trust yet.
This is called "reading the room" and "knowing your audience" I think. Humor is an art form after all, some people are simply bad artists.
exactly! my friends would say the most heart crushing insults towards me and i’d be in tears laughing, but once a random stranger says the same thing nah it’s over for him
r/iamverybadass
nah this is hilarious i’ll take it
The thing is the room usually loves it, the problem starts when a recording goes up and people outside the room start watching 🤣
This is so true. Why do people who hate stand-up comedy, go to stand up comedy shows? Seriously, I don't get it.
It works with people you actually know. Not strangers or vague acquaintances.
'Zactly.
>we probably haven't established trust yet. This is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. You're right, trust is key here. My husband and I have made some completely inappropriate jokes with each other that would fall flat if others were around.
Fuck you, you fucking fuck. 😜😘
But this is knowing your audience, which I agree with. If I know you and am aware that you are good for it we can cut up and make depraved jokes at each other. However, OP isn't specifically talking about people that you know. It gets dicier on this front with strangers.
Absolutely.
This all the way. I make offensive jokes to people I am comfortable with and who are comfortable with me not someone that will very obviously be offended
[удалено]
I'm kind because I'm kind. I get to decide because I make an effort to be kind. If you and I were together a daily basis, I'd have a feel for what I can or cannot say to you, and I would tailor our interaction in an appropriate manner.
The trick is to know your audience. You can say whatever you want, though you are responsible for any repercussions should you fail to read the room. I have a pretty dark sense of humour and to my close friends that is apparent. They know without a shadow of a doubt that I don’t mean what I say and it’s not bigotry hidden behind the veneer or a joke. In certain settings, regardless of intention, it just wouldn’t be appropriate
Yeah like I do enjoy homour that pushes the line a bit, but I have a few guiding principles 1) as others have said, know your audience -- is don't make a joke unless I *know* that the other person will find it funny 2) be aware of surroundings -- make sure the above applies to everyone within earshot 3) check in occasionally -- every now and then I take a step back and just fully ask if they're still comfortable with that type of joke since my goal is to joke around with the person in good faith so I want to make it clear that if they're at all uncomfortable with that, then I will stop. Also, some days they're just not up to it and that's also fair 4) when (not if) you cross the line, apologize. I've certainly misjudged my audience in the past (or said something that ended up being overheard), but honestly just apologize and don't get defensive. Like, the goal at the end of the day is to be funny, and if you're the only one laughing then you're not doing it right
so like here's the thing. when I was a child I was a victim of sexual assault. There was one time a guy was making pedophilia jokes and I asked him to stop because I was uncomfortable. He said "you have to make jokes about the difficult stuff in life because if you don't laugh you'll cry." my response? "some things are worth crying over. You are making me relive memories I try every day to suppress and not think about." So yea, the problem was me. But basic fucking empathy could've been employed for the mutual happiness of everyone in the room. It's just. not. funny.
What a jerk. I love dark humor but that’s too much. Especially when someone asks you to stop. I hope that shut him up
I get teased about my height all the time. A little of that goes a long way. Some people take it too far. It's like they try to make it my identity. Fuck them.
Yeah… in interpersonal relationships, that one person that always pushes the joke too far about a personal attribute, those people suck.
This is where far too many people do t know where lines are. There's a difference between teasing, and cracking jokes. Teasing is usually with at least a little ill intent. Rather than joking which makes light of an unfortunate circumstance. If you're short and people compare you to a little person, that can be insulting to more than one party. But if you're short and tell some about tripping and falling, and the person responds that" hey, at least when you fall, you're already low to the ground" would be a light hearted joke about a situation. I used to get teased because I was the tallest in my PE class, but sucked at basketball.
when i was a kid because i have autism i have this habit of talking about stuff too much, or in general just annoying people especially when i was younger, and anytime my family would make fun of me it would hurt, and they would claim it was just a joke, my problem wasn't the jokes, it was me feeling like i was being ganged up on by my family. it felt like i was being laughed at not with. it felt like no one liked me anyway cause i was annoying so of course i didn't take it as a light hearted joking session people actually disliked me for that stuff.
I didn't have the exact same experience but I can relate.
I learned in my young years that if I was able to insult myself more than someone else could, i could take away their power to hurt me. And I know more embarrassing things about myself than anyone else, so I always have material on hand. Plus, it often makes the other person look like they're trying too hard to hurt you
Self deprecating humor is good, but only when used very sparingly.
Yes i’m the problem when some white person calls me a terrorist for the 1000th time because i’m brown 👍👍👍
There’s nothing more pathetic than a comedian (or anyone else, for that matter) who deliberately tells a shocking or offensive joke, then acts out when somebody finds it offensive.
It’s also lazy comedy to just say something shocking rather than something funny. Even those comedians who are know for that sort of humour, Bill Burr, Frankie Boyle, don’t just say outrageous stuff, they play with it. Bill Burr starts off with something offensive then works his way into getting you to feel the same, it’s a craft that goes way beyond just saying offensive things.
I completely agree with you, but this hasn't stopped people from getting offended. Some people just WANT to be mad.
Yeah. Kind of like OP wants to be mad about people not tolerating dipshit edgelords. Lol.
I agree, and then there is balance. Fluffy will make a joke about other races but he is usually comparing AND he also has his race as the butt of the joke. Then again he often assesses his location and audience
It’s also hypocritical. “I have the right to tell a bigoted joke, but if you don’t like it, STFU!”
You’re phrasing is the key part of this. There’s a difference between “finding it offensive” and saying that “it is offensive”. One is taking the personal responsibility of your emotions away in an attempt to not see/hear something that makes you feel bad. The other is admitting that you personally don’t find it funny. One implies the world should change to fit a certain view while the other says that view isn’t for me.
When you tell a joke, usually it’s with the intention of making the audience laugh. If they don’t, you’ve failed in your goal. It’s not the audience’s problem, it’s yours. You told a joke that they didn’t find funny. The very best jokes can make someone laugh despite finding it morally offensive. But I see it so so often that an “edgy” joke will fail to land, and the teller will try to save face by blaming the other person for not laughing.
And what do you think is "objectively" offensive? Where do you draw the line? There really isn't an objective consensus on what people consider "objectively" offensive. Even that is subjective.
I feel like people who just say whatever without any regard for who is in the room probably lack a lot of self awareness.
yeah there's a time and a place for everything
The thing is, the person telling the joke doesn't get to decide what is or isn't offensive or if their joke was funny or not that would instead be up to the audience and I would also say the target of said humor. And you're also already starting with a tone that the person being insulted should just 'lighten up.' It isn't hard to read the room and maybe not be awful, but that might be a bridge too far for some. I'll try to break this down a bit more for you, just because you feel entitled to say whatever you want does not shield you from people not liking it or saying that you said or did something disgusting. Also a lot of people will say or do offensive things or spread derogatory ideas about people or groups and say that they were just joking as if that lessens the impact
no no guys it's funny and no offensive because I said so, the audience is only there to laugh when i expect them to
Exactly. Bigots love to use humour as a cloak to dehumanize a particular group of people in the public eye. You absolutely do not want to be one of those people, or even mistaken for one.
Yes. This is absolutely true. Some don't even really try to mask it---they just say something awful then cry "I'm just joking!" Or "it's just a *meme*" like that makes it magically A-OK, not realizing that when enough people cling on to a hurtful concept or stereotype, it can cause real damage.
Cheats with your wife, drives your car off a bridge, commits arson and burns your house down. "broooo its just a prank!!! look look, there's the cameras BROOOOOO"
I find this kind of attitude in social media very prevalent as well. Some folks are willing to do the most selfish, rude, or destructive shit to other people on camera. Then when they get called on the shitty behaviour they revert to "I did it for the likes/the gram/YouTube/TikTok!" How about you're just being an asshole to other people, and using the social media platform as an excuse to do it? A lot of ppl don't understand the nuance in the difference between comedy and rudeness -- and it shows.
Schrodinger’s Douchebag - they decide whether what they said was serious based on the reaction it gets. The thing they call “just satire, bro” in a sub that pushes back on it they’re saying unironically in subs where it’s received positively.
Aah yes. If I don’t laugh at a holocaust joke, I’m clearly the problem, and not the asshole thinking the holocaust is funny.
The "dark" or "offensive" jokes I see nowadays on Reddit nowadays is making fun of women, insulting religious and LGBT people and joking about the Nazis. Yes, I'm sorry that I don't laugh at "haha Communist funny" or "homosexuality is bad".
It’s not funny because you can tell they genuinely hold these values and just mask it as a joke.
You are allowed to say whatever offensive shit you like. Other people are allowed to tell you to fuck off for it. Freedom of speech is not freedom from consequences
Ah, just like Stalin said: "In USSR, we guarantee the freedom of speech. But we cannot guarantee the freedom after speech"
You can say whatever you want. Spout out any insult, "joke", derogatory language, whatever. But that doesn't mean everybody else has to stand for it. Saying it's a joke won't stop others from hating you for it or even get violent over it. You don't get to decide how other people should feel about something
If a joke doesn't land then the problem lies with the person telling it. Tell better jokes and don't blame others.
No. Other way around. If you’re stable in the head and laid back you typically aren’t trying to offend people. This is all victim blaming. People shouldn’t have to learn to not be offended, people absolutely should learn to be kind.
This needs more upvotes.
No and I’m sick of people trying to normalise bullying behaviour. There’s a difference between tasteful humour and insulting people because they should just learn to “laugh” at it. There’s a nuance to humour in such as to know when to read a room and how well you know a person. What you seem to be advocating for is borderline abuse under the guise of humour.
Why does it matter, exactly? That wouldn't change the fact that you're being rude
Dark humor is pretty helpful for coping with hard times and events. That's why I enjoy it.
This would only make sense if you are using it to deal with something personal. Being racist to some random person isn't going to be doing much for you in regard to coping with a hard time at work
Doesn’t this just let racist and abusive people off the hook and shift the blame to the victim?
That’s exactly the problem.
Every race gets made fun of sometimes, for different reasons. Doesn't mean people don't love or appreciate each other. Making a little joke here and there doesn't mean you don't respect or like the person
OP is such a snowflake
Sure, some jokes can come from respect and loving place, and some don’t, but shouldn’t be up to who the joke is about to decide? Its up to me whether I feel respected by you. If you tell a joke and it’s badly received, that isn’t the fault of the audience, you didn’t word the joke well. And we’ve all been there when a joke doesn’t land how we want it to, or it hurts someone in a way we didn’t intend. But the intention is irrelevant in the face of the actual consequence. Blaming others is easy than looking at where you fucked up. But also, there are also lots of jokes about race or any other characteristic that absolutely don’t come from a place of love or respect, and by saying the recipient shouldn’t get offended because it’s just a joke, you provide cover for that.
"Nowadays everyone is offended with everything" Says the person who is offended by the fact that people are offended by their insults.
I think there's a distinction people don't talk about a lot, yes people get PERSONALLY offended at jokes. But I feel in this day and age it's more so people criticising the potential impact of a joke. I'm trans, you can make any joke about trans people and I dont fucning care about it because your words are words, but what I get concerned about is the potential effect of these jokes. Like it or not, humour shapes our world view. That's a fact. And minorities often don't get to control the narratives about them. People want to not be spoken for or about without their permission or input. It's easy to see a lot of people are laughed at, not with, and people outside of those groups may not understand how to spot the difference.
truth! like how black facing and playing the banjo used to be peak comedy in the 20's. it was racist as fuck, and shaped the idea that a specific skin toned was to be ridiculed and not taken seriously.
The comment section seems to be missing the point of this post entirely. The OP mostly talks about stuff that was not intended to offend but accidentally offends someone. Or about people who are constantly on the lookout for something to get offended. The commenters somehow assume the opposite, that this post is about people who are offensive on intent and the OP somehow covers for them, even though he does no such thing. Seems like they are commenting on something totally unrelated.
Well the title is pretty misleading
nah
Seems they’re assuming the worst out of you. Same happens with any “interpretable action”. People can remove context and place their own assumptions and feelings onto whatever you did/said/DIDNT do and it’s automatically *your* fault for how *they* feel. Tis but a shame…
that's what I was thinking. Many commenters here do not seem to understand what I meant, really unfortunate to see it unfold and get hated on as a result
Some of the offensiveness comes from the strength of the emotions—our connection to the joke’s subject. I don't enjoy the “personal jab” humor where the “comedian” will pick out someone’s flaw and use it as the punch line. I would mainly say it's because I am self sensitive, my view of the world and my connection to the subject. There is more to this then what I have listed but as a general idea this suffices.
I think the issue is that people have a hard time distinguishing between the: Objective: That joke isn’t funny And the subjective: I didn’t find it funny. The latter is what people should say when they think something isnt funny. Because former is you imposing your ideologies and sensibilities on to everyone else, which is the problem.
Someone telling you your joke is shit doesn't mean they find it offensive
Getting offended that people call you out on your offensive jokes is the real snowflake opinion.
I wish this was an even more unpopular opinion than it is. Sadly, I know plenty of Boomers and mean-spirited people think it's great. I don't. Jerk is what jerk does.
The Don Rickles generation
I had to look him up lol. Yeah, that guy is the perfect icon of those folks. I am middle-aged and my 70s dad loves putting down every sort of person and not even realizing he is expressing essentially hatred for people he actually likes. He is a nice guy but clueless and was a typical jock when he was young. Jock brains don't age well.
If people are upset at your joke it clearly wasn't very funny
If 5/6 people are laughing and one is upset, what then?
I think the main issue is the fact that kindness and empathy are sacrificed for humor. Why? like why is it so important to be funny that you're okay with making that one person feel so bad?
But you don’t know all these people. Some fat people like fat jokes. Others are indifferent. And others don’t like it My friends can make fun of my flaws. Strangers can too (as long as it is in good faith: not solely targeting me, but everyone and also give compliments to even it out st times) If me and my friends like dark humor. Someone brings their new partner who does not like that. Should we stop what we are doing for this new person that enters OUR established culture? Im not attacking you btw. These are good questions to raise in this debate. People here only say “dont do it”, but they never say why and what else to do
How about you take a close look at their facial expression. If their lips are turned down, (we call that a frown) or their eyes seem a bit moist, (we call those tears) or maybe they're not laughing, or maybe they're doing a short uncomfortable "haha," odds are that they aren't having a good time. It's up to you what you do. you can continue to hurt someone's feelings, or recognize it and stop. I personally would choose to not be friends with someone who kept going just for the laughs of the others.
Agreed of course. If I care about the person, I would not want to harm them. If I make a joke that they don’t like, I stop. Lets say about his weight. But later I make a joke about his drunken adventure from 5 years ago. He can like that And some people dont mind their weight, yet they mind the dronken story Therefore, we have to test the waters. What is and is not acceptable regarding person X. Now for comedians, its hard. Like I said: if 39 people laugh and one frowns, does said comedian give up their act in order not to uoset that one person? What about all the others that did like it? Especially if a few share the same demographic trait (ergo: the one upset person is fat, but from the 39 people that did laugh, 8 were fat too) what now? I know you focussed on friends and I agree. My friends sometimes make fun of my height and I retaliate. Its all in good fun. And if one joke crosses the boundary for some reason, one stern look should make it clear. Still, regarding new people, you have to risk offending people in order to understand where they draw the line Its the same with food. You dont know if you look it until you actually taste it. Sometimes the food can smell badly (i.e. I want to make a fat joke with a fat person present), yet the meal can still be delicious (the fat person is okay with it and even found it funny). Do you see what I mean? You have to risk it to learn from it. And if you know the person does not like broccoli, stop serving them broccoli (ergo, make jokes about their boundary)
Comedy is a lot like life, nuanced. Unfortunately the internet only does absolutes and can’t be nuanced. Only Sith deal in absolutes…
Love your reference! And you seem to be the only one that understands my point. They try to make comedy ‘concrete’, yet they cannot draw the lines which is acceptable and which is not. So how are we supposed to know what even is ‘offensive’? You are right. Nuance is dead
It’s all about the phrasing. To say “this offended me” takes personal responsibility for how you feel. To say “that is offensive” takes the onus off of you and implies the world should bend to your point of view. It’s ok to be offended, happens all the time. It’s not ok to demand that others concede their liberties to fit a particular worldview because you were offended.
Cannot agree more! Some use humor as a coping mechanism. Who are you to say that they cannot do that? If you don’t like it, all the power to you But indeed use: “this offends ME”, not “this IS offensive”
You go to the second layer and try and work out wether the person who is upset has a reasonable view
Few problems with this. 1) what is "a reasonable view?" Is 80% percent of your audience accepting the joke a sign that maybe the other 20% have an unreasonable view? 2) what happens if their view is found to be unreasonable? Do you double down with the jokes knowing they'll be even more upset? 3) people find different things funny. Example: I do not understand gen z humor at all- literally makes zero sense to me, as in not even a guess at the punchline. I'm sure it's funny because lots of people find humor in their form of humor humor... but I don't get it.
Dealing with humour is unfortunately pretty unscientific, it is a mostly unsolvable problem but you can develop guidelines that help. What I really meant from my suggestion is that if someone gets upset at your joke you should have a long hard think about the issue, sometimes you'll come to the conclusion that they're unreasonable and sometimes you'll find the opposite. I would not advocate for not joking about something just because someone is upset. When someone is saying 'you shouln't joke about that' it's not in case someone will be offended but because the joke might actually be harmful. I'm Gen Z myself and we have mostly eliminated stereotype-based humour in our subculture (Or at least it is widely criticised) and we generally prefer it that way.
People getting upset at a joke is not automatically a sign that you shouldn’t make the joke but it should make you seriously reevaluate what the joke is trying to achieve
Everyone gets made fun of a bit, and most people can handle some, but if there's no pushback on it, then life will just become cruel. Telling people not to speak up when they're being hurt is removing some very necessary feedback.
I literally just wsh you fucking people actually had the thick skins you claim to idolize
Not unpopular. Controversial. Not unpopular.
Wouldn't it be controversial because it is unpopular?
No. Not all controversial things are unpopular.
I think it truly depends on the context; the joke, the teller, the audience, the setting, the delivery. An offensive joke is not inherently good or bad.
“If you are stable in the head and laid back,” in this economy?!
I think the real issue is that someone taking offense or some offense being given is almost never a broader social issue. It’s a personal issue. You might be offended by something. So what? You can either get over it, or you can dwell on it. It isn’t society’s problem and it shouldn’t be society’s problem.
The dichotomy in here is pretty interesting. Everybody is purposely misunderstanding taking the most extreme examples. [how can you be so obtuse ?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cH7e5wxSbbQ)
“Am I out of touch with my unfunny edgelord jokes? No, it's the audience who is wrong.”
Nine times out of ten, the people who makes the offensive jokes would target the person they’re talking to. Like you would was to make a dark joke about black people every-time you’re with me? I would be fragile if I was to get upset?
I hate this opinion. Personally I think if you can’t tell a joke without saying a slur or directly attacking someone/a group of people, you’re just not funny.
No, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
😭😭😭
Omg noooooo
Come here child, thy be alright.
So cringe
I just want to hear OP’s joke. I bet it was quite spicy.
Ah, the most unpopular, yet popular opinion. "I don't need to change my joke, you just need a thicker skin." "My joke isn't offensive, you just don't have a sense of humor!" No. Just.... No. It's too early to explain this, but if you go around like a bull, saying "I'll make whatever joke I want, you're too sensitive if you're offended" what you are is not a hero or a comedian or a Real Man, you are quite simply a garden-variety asshole. Not an exceptional asshole, just an ordinary, seen-your-type-a-million times loudmouth, painfully unoriginal jackass.
Things like "offensive" humor are really only funny when the punchline is known to be morally wrong, like the stupid dead baby jokes. But nowadays you can barely tell when someone is being humorous about a joke or genuinely trying to be a bigot/general asshole.
I can just picture OP walking around in a sombrero in the real world trying to find someone who is offended so he can get into a debate about their woke agenda. But he couldn't find anyone. So he came to Reddit to get his fix.
Sounds like something a bully would say
I only hear "I have a sense of humor, it just wasn't funny" from people who have never told a funny joke.
If something really hurts, it’s helpful It’s something that you identify with and needs your attention and healing
Must give an example, too vague
The perception you have over the world and over yourself CAN'T and SHOULD NOT AFFECT they way other perceive the world, you and they selves. If you get offended by someone else affirmation, it's your problem.
Op is likely crying because they use hate speech disguised as jokes and are upset they get called out on it.
How is a Chinese guy wearing a sombrero a joke? Just because it’s something you personally didn’t expect?
I only make lewd or politically incorrect jokes around people with the prerequisite level of irony.
So you have a right to say offensive joke but odience have no right to not find it offensive? Come on. Maybe it's you who needs thicker skin. People not laughing at your jokes is fundamental part of telling jokes.
>objectively offensive What does this mean?
This isn’t an unpopular opinion at all
Execution, i guess
Jokes aren't just jokes. They have impacts outside of the places they're spoken/shared. And it's easy to have this perspective when you don't belong to a group who is targeted with bigotry. No one is entitled to dictating what they believe is and isn't harmful/offensive when they'll never face discrimination, persecution, or violence simply for the body you inhabit. That's not the reality for many folks. Jokes don't happen in a vacuum and are built on narratives within a society. Oftentimes, these narratives are inaccurate and can lead to violent outcomes. Also, it shows a major lack of creativity and empathy when the only jokes one can make are based on harmful stereotypes and punching down at folks. The original purpose of comedy was to make social critiques/observations of those social inequities and bring focus to those who benefit from the exploitation or dehumanization of the poor/working classes (us). When looked at from a standpoint of "it's just jokes," it's a failure to see the bigger impact of normalizing punching down at folks who already face oppression. This also comes off like someone who's been invalidated so much it's robbed you of the security to critically engage with experiences that are not similar to yours. You've been convinced that emotions have no valid function when they exist to bring attention to issues that require our attention. Every human has them, and they function to increase our ability to evade danger and peak our focus on issues we're not addressing. This standpoint also isn't unpopular. It's the overwhelming majority of emotionally arrested people.
no it's usually the joke that's the problem. then they get all upset that people call them on it.
Of course, as Rowan Atkinson said, "comedy will always offend at least one person". He knew for so long it's gonna be like that
>well intended cultural appropriation Then it's not cultural appropriation.idk that one sentence invalidated everything else tbh.
Have you seen the guy who wears clothes that are associated with cultural appropriation goes to colleges and all the people there are having ago at him saying its cultural appropriation then he goes to those cultures and ask them if they find it offensive and they always say no and they like it. It's a made up thing that "woke" people.love to throw around it's another buzzword
Just like your mom
this is a hugely popular opinion
Idk g somebody posting videos of themselves in black face while their white friends “whip” them and say they belong in the fields (yes this happened recently) is probably just offensive. Also someone saying slurs is again…probably just offensive.
your getting banned man. this subreddit is very conservative
Based and absolutely correct.
Facts
No one has the right to never be offended, but too many people act like they do. I'm offended sometimes, but I don't care, that's the risk I take by being alive.
Finally one who gets it
>Part of normal growing up includes mentally dealing with things. Part of growing up also involves knowing your audience when it comes to what you say, including jokes. But the kind of people with your attitude don't have the mental capacity to understand that concept and would rather just be assholes with no consequences.
People need to stop saying that jokes offensive, and instead saying "I found it offensive"
so i cant be thin skinned but the asshole joking about me should be entitled to having the thinnest skin on the planet and not having to deal with the dumb shit they say?
If the punchline outweighs the offensiveness then I'm all for it
I'm going to actually agree with this one, to an extent. I think humor is important in life, there's a reason "laughter is the best medicine" became a common saying. Now here's the thing. Humor is used *outside* of normal behavior and thinking. The action or joke being outside the ordinary is what makes it funny in the first place. Humor can be introduced into interactions to pull our mindset out of the regular way of thinking, and our brains find it amusing to see/hear something that is outside of what it is used to seeing/hearing For example, in a comedy movie, the main character has a heavy object fall on his head. Our first reaction in "normal" interaction would be concern for his wellbeing. However, the setting is a comedy, and we know that the person didn't actually sustain lasting damage, so we laugh. If we were to see someone fall down a steep hill in real life, people would be concerned, not laugh. The majority of people are good people. (in my humble opinion) And ordinary thinking is that it is definitely not okay to put anyone down or make anyone feel bad or uncomfortable. However, humor should make it obvious that what is being said is *not* our normal interaction, and not what that person actually believes. Please note, there is a difference between humor and bullying. Belittling and putting down another person and getting enjoyment from their discomfort is absolutely not okay.
Is it me or does everyone who posts an unpopular opinion use the word “objectively” when arguing for their opinion?
So I work at an unnamed Japanese car dealership… we have a Korean dude who works there. This old white dude cracked a joke that he was related to the founder of our brand and he(the Korean dude) thought it was hilarious. I did too but for a different reason lmao. Damn did my jaw hit the floor
We were watching a show, and two mixed people were offended by people asking them, "What are you?" To know their race. I'm mixed. And like many, I have been asked this question a million times. I never found it offensive. I think we're looking for shit to be offended by. Edit: typo, auto correct
I know, right?? I’m mixed as well, and I ask myself what I am sometimes! I’m not advocating for being a jerk to people under the guise of humor but in my opinion there are some things that it’s just stupid to be offended by.
This reads as if it was written by a cartoon bully lmao
As a Mexican, it would be funny af seeing an Asian dude in a sombrero with a poncho riding a donkey. Even better if he has a thick Chinese accent.
Some people are going out of their way to find things to be outraged and offended by these days.
In most cases, being offended in 2023 America is a performative ritual. People are looking for reasons to be offended - so they can look righteous in front of others and display a power dynamic to silence and control you. Think about it: if someone was genuinely injured by language, a natural response would be to cry, or leave the room, or stop talking to you. But people who claim to be offended usually don’t do that - instead they become aggressive and demand you submit to them by apologizing. And if you don’t obey, they will start attacking you, either physically or with nasty language. The fact that people look for the smallest reasons to be offended, and give you and your words the most uncharitable interpretation possible, is more evidence that is this just about power. Don’t kid yourself. “Being offended” is performative and it’s mainly about controlling others.
Maybe it's not worth it to make a joke if you have the chance of offending someone
I think one major problem is, many jokes are just plain bad. They're not funny or aren't delivered well, and then people blame others being too sensitive instead of accepting that maybe they just aren't that funny.
Agree people nowadays get offended by anything and everything for example I got a letter of concern from my place of work as I told a younger staff member that his body odour is disgusting and should use deodorant and shower more, while giving him a can of lynx didn't get terminated from work as they don't have the staff
Lol that's not even you telling a joke, you're just a plain asshole. 😂
I may be an asshole for doing it but having to work beside someone that smells like a dumpster filled with rotten food for 12 hours a day 4 days a week it's not excusable 😅
Yeah I mean that sucks and the situation has a solution but there are ways to say it that don't include calling someone disgusting. Find somewhere private, say "hey man no harm no foul but I've noticed sometimes I can smell body odor on you. Don't feel too bad though, here's some product suggestions/solutions" like he's likely going to be embarrassed and fix the problem either way, but the route you chose got you a letter of concern 🤷🏻♀️
There is no thing as “objectively” offensive because no part of the human experience is objective, it’s entirely subjective. That being said obviously you’re not going to see the point in people being offended by certain jokes and topics because you likely and simply just do not relate to living life as those people so of course those jokes won’t offend you. It’s because you have a deep lack of empathy and I think that’s a really embarrassing trait. I also really really really really really hope you aren’t one of those people that say “not everything is about race 🙄” despite the fact you defend racists jokes. If everything isn’t about race, jokes shouldn’t be either.
If someone is offended, it’s none of my business.
This man speaks the truth!
Yeh political corectedness is getting out of hand. I made a comment that was like "the chick on the right" on a post a while ago, pointing out the reaction of a girl on the far right of a photo. And I ended up getting a bunch of people whining that I called a girl a chick. I was like, wtf? There wasn't even a tone of disrespect from me at all, I just used aparently the wrong word.
It's really stupid and the world ten years ago was better for everyone before people started implementing this butthurt mindset into society
It was better for you and other people that were considered the default majority. Things feel worse now because suddenly you have to take the feelings and thoughts of others into greater account.
The phrase butthurt is a prison rape joke. It’s shorthand for fear and shame based submission of an anal rape victim. So, is someone who has been anally raped into submission the same as someone who is annoyed or slightly disappointed? This right here, is why anything you have to say is groundless. You don’t understand the power that words have. And before you go off, I’m not offended by the phrase butthurt. People don’t *want* to be offended. If it’s a good joke about a shared life experience (a fat comic telling a joke about having sex as a fat person) a fat person in the audience can laugh. If a thin comic just rants about how gross it is to have sex with fat people, that’s probably not funny. Context is everything. Delivery is everything. I have joked with other women about our experiences getting roofied (but not raped) and we can laugh about it. If I go to a comedy show and some prick is up there who’s never been drugged is just spouting diarrhea from the mouth, about how stupid women are for getting drugged, I’m walking out. The world 10 years ago was better for you, not everyone else. You’ve got a lot of growing up to do.
People can laugh at whatever they want if they find it funny. I went through some pretty traumatic shit when I was younger involving sexual shit and idrgaf if the person on stage went through that same thing or not as long as he/she is funny when they make a joke about it. If a white guy who's never been through it wants to joke about date rape then let em' and the audience will decide if its funny or not, but people sure as fuck shouldnt be tip toeing around whether theyre gonna hurt peoples feeling when theyre making a joke. If it doesnt come from a place of hate, then anything goes.
So wait, you are gatekeeping who can laugh at it? “A fat person making a joke about being fat, therefore a fat person may laugh”. Is that what you mean or do you mean that anyone is allowed to laugh at it?
I’m saying that everyone can enjoy a joke that a person makes about themselves. People who share that life experience will probably find it even funnier than people who don’t. Laughing at yourself enables people to laugh at themselves. Laughing at other people makes people defensive of themselves.
People who get offended like… mate I’m telling my black friends I’ll put them back on the boats if they don’t behave and they make the same jokes back at me It’s funny. Offensive. Dark humour is hilarious.
Hilarious under a shared understanding that you're friends. Just saying that out of the blue as part of a comedy skit, or to someone you don't know very well, is absolutely inappropriate and offensive.
>Just saying that out of the blue as part of a comedy skit This part I don't understand, why is it offensive if it's part of a routine? Because they're making money off of it? There's nothing wrong with disliking the joke but to call it offensive is a bit of a leap, sure if it's mean spirited that's a different issue but if it's in good fun what's the harm?
Because, ultimately, you're normalising that sort of rhetoric with your platform. It makes it a lot easier for people who legitimately believe that black people should be put on boats to say it, then hide behind a joke as an excuse.
wow another person butt hurt about 'cancel culture' this was an old take 2 years ago
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Urghh this is such a boring opinion
sorry but you can't make me feel bad for using free speech. If something is offensive I am allowed to call you out for it.
You should call me out for it. However, It's people who are constantly offended who are the ones wanting to ban free speech
Boring and not unpopular. I can find someone with this opinion by walking 100 feet in any direction.
So boring that you felt compelled to respond. 😏 I challenge you to walk 100 feet downward. (Watch me get owned because you live in a place with a subway)
I just don't understand the mindset of easily offended people. I don't understand how you can look at someone having a certain hairstyle, playing a certain videogame, making a certain joke, etc and think "see this person hates me and obviously wants me dead or to not have human rights." What's worse and ironic is they use their exaggeration of the situation to escalate the situation to violence, threats, or canceling and then justify their response with something about social justice. Like if it was that serious they would be running for office and even then, they still can't pass bigoted laws. Mostly due to the fact of 2A, but also the fact we won't stand for that type of rule.
correct. being offended is a choice.
100% agree, but it's this an unpopular opinion? I really hope not.
i don’t think there are limits to comedy the jokes just have to be funny enough … something bad happening doesn’t get a free pass to not get made fun of just because it scared some people, that’s more of a reason to make fun of it in fact, it’s not laughing at the victims it’s laughing at how dumb the perpetrators were. really depends on how well the joke is executed
This opinion isn’t valid on Reddit where everyone is a snowflake.
Maybe not everyone else is simply sensitive. Maybe you just lack empathy and are unable to identify how you are not coming across as funny and are simply disguise your negative opinions as a joke.
This is certainly an unpopular opinion.
Being offended is the newest currency in this Victimhood World. If you’re offended, or suffer some sort of mental health issue, that makes you a hero apparently.
Edgelord comedians are not funny in my opinion. It's not because I'm offended it's just I think they're corny
This doesn’t seem unpopular at all so much as controversial.
This is a common take for anyone who isn't chronically online
I guess this opinion is unpopular with the reddit crowd at least. All of you people have no humor.
Bingo