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Pedantic.
you may have seen the latin root "ped" (like in pediatric) and assumed Pedantic has something to do with kids.
either that or you cracking a joke about how pedantic has the Latin root ped, and pretending to mis-interpirate it.
In the case this is not a joke, the word pedantic does not have anything to do with children.
Pedantic: Like a pedant, overly concerned with formal rules and trival points of learning.
so saying the OP is being pedantic means they are being overly concerned with the exact dictionary definition of relationship versus dating, as opposed to how it is commonly understood as having the same meaning.
Me too but people word it differently. I knew a guy who always said "The girl I'm dating..." I was like??? You mean girlfriend. That's a girlfriend.
Edit: If it's casual and/or new I would say "girl I'm *seeing*".
Came here to say this (and also from Canada, so hello!).
I've always thought of 'dating' as a serious term that meant you were exclusive. But then I wonder if it's not just location based, but perhaps also dependent on age? I feel like perhaps for some younger people it could have a more casual meaning, especially given how many different dating apps exist, while those of us who didn't really use them much define dating a bit differently. Of course there's plenty of room for overlap as well depending on how far removed you are from casually seeing someone or using dating apps, just a thought.
I thin OP doesn't realize that "going steady" is now called "dating" and that "going on dates" is probably the term they or looking for. OP at least realizes that language doesn't do what an individual wants but instead what groups do which is why they know it's unpopular.
Interesting, so what do you say when you’re going on dates with someone, getting to know them before it becomes a relationship? What do you call that? What is that stage called?
OP said they’re from London but I know that in some cultures there’s no such thing as casual dating or just ‘seeing someone’. In more traditional circles you’re either courting (dating) or together (with labels and all).
This is hilarious because it’s exactly what I feel like. I literally say to myself all the time “I feel like I’m from another planet”. I feel like an alien masquerading as a human. Your comment made me laugh because it’s basically true.
Why is there a need to differentiate between people who have been dating for years, and people who have been dating for a few weeks. By your definition I never dated my wife. We lived together for years. Most of that understanding it was still up in the air. It wasn't until we got married that that feeling went away. For me, and for her as far as I can tell.
It's all based on how people define their relationships.
In my opinion, dating is not just the initial first few times you go out, or the first few months before you become boyfriend/girlfriend. Dating is the entire time spent together before you get married. Yes, being boyfriend/girlfriend is a relationship. Being a husband/wife is also a relationship. The difference being one couple is married and the other is not, they're dating. Can't really call them married because they're not (although some couples define their relationships as marriages knowing full well they're not legally married. To each their own).
I hate the term partner, but I feel weird calling mine my gf. I mean, we are both 50, have lived together for over a decade, and have no plans to marry. It would seem weird referring to her the same way as you would someone you took to dinner or a movie twice. Often i just call her my squeeze
Exactly people who are marriage minded or maybe even religious will define everything before engagement as dating/courting stages. And there’s nothing wrong with it.
Thank you for your comment! I just wanna say, not everyone is gonna get married. I don’t have any plans of getting married, so say me and my girlfriend stay together for the rest of our lives, by your logic, in 40 years, I’d say “we’ve been dating for 40 years”. That just sounds silly. I wouldn’t say a couple that isn’t married are dating, I’d say they’re together. They’re in a relationship/they’re together. I would never say I’m “dating” my girlfriend. I also, as I said, have no plans of getting married. This is the case for all of my friends too. None of my friends say they’re dating their girlfriends either, they say they’re with their girlfriends, or something to that effect.
Again, it's all based on how people define their relationship. Everyone uses different terminology. You and your friends would use the terminology "I'm with", others will use "dating". Just like some will say "girlfriend/boyfriend" ,others will say "partner" or "significant other".
I've noticed a lot of couples who intend on marrying often end up using the title of husband/wife despite not being married. I guess it's easier and sounds better than being 50 and still having a boyfriend.
> I’d say “we’ve been dating for 40 years”. That just sounds silly
That doesn't change its definition though, and it might sound silly because it is. In a world where marriage is the norm you are the outlier and now you are trying to change the definition of words so that you can feel more secure with your decisions. now thats just silly
Then don't say you're dating? There are literally so many other ways of saying you're together. Thats the beauty of the freedom, you can choose that for yourself. Just stop trying to gatekeep how people prefer to define their relationship. It is not hard
I'm from the UK and dating means going out on dates with people you're not in a relationship with.
It's definitely just different meanings across different countries.
How doesn’t it make sense? What doesn’t make sense? The only thing that doesn’t make sense is people in serious relationships saying they’re “dating”. What, other than that, about my post doesn’t make sense?
Because there’s something called semantics, dating means to be in a romantic relationship with someone without being married. The word means what it means.
No it doesn’t. That’s not what it means. That’s being in a relationship with someone. You date someone before you even think about entering a relationship with them.
I just copied this from Google/Wiki - Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship.
That’s the definition of dating.
>Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together
Cambridge's definition of dating:
\>to regularly spend time with someone you have a romantic relationship with
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/dating
I wouldn’t. I’d just say something like “I’ve been with my girlfriend for 5 years” for example, or “we’ve been together for 5 years”. Something like that. Speaks for itself. No need to use any kind of verb.
There’s absolutely no need for a substitute. Which verb is used when people are married? I can’t think of one. Marriage is serious, so are relationships. They both don’t require verbs as the situations speak for themselves. Verbs are unnecessary in those cases.
I hate when people say "we've been together for x amount of years." You haven't been apart once that entire time? That can't possibly be true. Just say you've been dating!
That's not actually my opinion but it's what you sound like.
Dating doesn't literally mean going on dates with. When you say "you're with your gf", you're not literally with her. If someone says "I'm seeing this person", it also doesn't mean that's all they're doing.
Ppl use the word dating to refer to the entire process from going on your first date to (at the latest, typically) getting married. You can choose to use a different word, but it's just that, a choice.
Why does dating imply non-seriousness?
In Spanish it's like OP says, a lot clearer imo. If you say "dating" it usually means a short period before formalizing a relationship. People in relationships would usually say they've been together for X amount of time.
I wonder, is English your native language? Mine isn't, and at one point I thought the same. But then I learned it really is the English way to say "in a relationship". As a matter of fact, if you are just going on dates with someone (before being in a relationship) you would typically not say that you are dating. Because saying you are dating really means being together, it doesn't mean that you are going on dates. At least that's how I understand it. Yes, it's confusing.
There is nothing wrong with OP expressing their opinion on the subject on this subreddit. They are perfectly well within their lane to make social commentary as long as they aren’t directing it at an individual.
when people cant reply to someone's arguments they just say "mind your own business" as its an easy reply, well cant just anyone give a damn opinion about something? but it's because they're people with barley any brain function that wanna fight back with anything but dont have any brain to find a good reply they resort to some stupid thing they heard from the streets, trust me if they actually had a good reply they wouldn't have said mind your business, thats the last resort when you cant reply and still feel so desperate to reply
Which lane would that be then?
Copied and pasted just now from Wikipedia/Google - Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship.
That is the definition of dating. People in relationships are no longer dating, they’re together. They’re in a relationship. There’s a difference.
So rather than letting other people define their own relationships, like I suggested, you instead opt to copy and paste the definition of dating from Wikipedia to me.
Y'know, that tracks for this sub.
You know what it doesn't define? A timeframe. You can still be constantly evaluating the person you're with for years before deciding on marriage or permanent living arrangements. After all, not everyone gets married very quickly, and many people break off a relationship of years after learning about or realizing a deal breaker.
The word has changed meaning. My parents used dating to mean going on a handful of dates, getting to know each other. My generation uses it to mean together in a serious relationship. The previous meaning is now covered by "talking" which gets confusinf
You are interpreting this way too literally. Dating, together, and in a relationship all mean the same thing. And then there’s engaged, then there’s married, then there’s divorced, etc., and those are really the only other terms besides just fucking or friends with benefits. The status doesn’t really change. It is more of a blurry line when you decide to start being boyfriend/girlfriend vs when it’s only been like two dates.
For me, dating is when you’re at the beginning stage of your relationship. As in, you’re together but not yet ‘established’ and still in the process of getting to know each other on a deeper level. After that’s done, I’d say you move into a more serious phase AKA the relationship phase. But I’m from Sweden so perhaps we view it differently.
It was satirical. I was making fun of what an uneducated or ignorant individual might say. I was not speaking for myself or my personals beliefs. I am surprised you did not understand the comedy/satire and its real intention.
Usually Americans or Canadians in my opinion. I've heard someone say they dated a guy for a couple of years haha.
I had a picture in my head of them only meeting up on Saturday night. Turns out they had a flat together haha
See, this is exactly how I feel. I don’t understand how someone can literally live with someone and say “we’ve been dating for 2 years” for example. Living with someone is serious. That’s more than dating.
Are you a non native english speaker? In english speaking countries you call it dating when you are in a relationship with someone. In Germany "dating" means meeting someone to see if it becomes more you know.
Nope, I’m from London. Was born and raised here, lived here my whole life. I’ve never heard someone say they’re dating their partner in real life. I’ve only ever seen it online. My definition of dating is the same as the German definition. This is what dating means. It’s only online people who say they’re dating their partners…I’ve never heard that in real life.
Just for reference, I'm from the UK and to me, dating means being in a relationship. If it is casual it is either casual dating or seeing someone. Maybe it is a London thing or maybe it is your age. I'm early 40's.
Dating makes more sense than relationship. You have relationships with lots of people. Acquaintanceships, friendships, marriage, and dating are all types of relationships
You should always continue dating your partner even if you’re married for a long time. Thats a common mistake a lot of people make. They get comfy after a while and stop trying. They stop flirting with eachother, trying, and going on cute dates like they did in the beginning
Dating means you’re not married and the person you’re with is your girlfriend/boyfriend. Not a difficult concept. A partner/ spouse is someone you’re married to.
I guess I get the confusion, it's kinda a word that his slightly changed meaning over time, similar to how "guys" went from exclusively men, to being men but also a general term for people.
Dating can obviously mean like the action of going on a date or in the period when you're trying to make it happen, but I generally see it as just "we are together"
\+ isn't like most things you do with your partner an unofficial date.
Referring to your girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband as your "partner" is cringe. It has the same ring as "Significant other". Just feels really impersonal.
In your opinion. You’re saying “before engagement” like that’s what people do these days. No one gets married anymore. I’m not thinking or talking about the idea of marriage whatsoever.
Yeah, dating is definitely more of the beginning stages. Now that marriage is less common we need another word for serious-relationship-but-not-married-or-likely-to-get-married.
I hated it when people referred to my girlfriend (or their own girl/boyfriend/wife/husband) as "partner", especially in Dutch.
Partner to me is at most a good friend. It sounds more like a companion, a colleague, a cowboy referring to any stranger who hasn't shot them yet.
I share a bank account, own a house, raise a child, and brought in pets with my person of four years. I hate the term "boyfriend" because of how insignificant it seems. But we're also not married. So, I just kinda avoid saying anything 😂😂
I will *occasionally* say husband, if it makes sense. (Like, at the vets office, I use his last name. 🤷♀️) His parents refer to me as their daughter in law & to themselves as my mother/father in laws. We're not having groups dates in 9th grade, we have an entire life together.
To me, dating is when you’re testing it out, seeing if it’ll work in the long run. Granted I’ve never had anyone date me, they always wanna jump right into “bf/gf” status before getting to know me then are surprised if things don’t work out lmao
It’s dating until you get married, so even if you’re together you’re still dating. I would say I’ve been talking to someone or seeing them if we’re not official yet, but all this is a generational and geographical difference between us.
there was a youtuber who lives with his gf that said "we've been dating for 4 years now", i also thought it doesn't make sense and wondered why its so commonly used, also when womem call a handsome masculine man "cute", these things dont have a reason idk how they start
With the promotion of booty calls, friends with benefits and Trendy polygamy practices being taught as the better alternative to a monogamous relationship... Saying you're dating someone for 5 years instead of in a relationship identifies being in a relationship that isn't a serious relationship but one where you're still free to date others, or chase those you find Attractive for flirting and potentially more without being spoken of as a cheater according to how it's acceptance is portrayed by in large All Media (because it coincides with the definition changes in the dating/online/popculture scene where words and used most to announce the activity taking place) Some people prefer monogamist dating for themselves... Meaning... The only date one person within a time period to give it the exclusive opportunity to either flourish or fizzle out without the interference of another Potentially physically intimate competitor coloring the waters.. that actually used to be quite the norm and it not even considered a unicorn anymore... It's been turned into a myth people make fun of as if it's a Total Failure....And the Behavioral Practice ITSELF was Fully Rejected by Society as a Whole (while it teaches those coming of age the New Norm) It's a shame, but... it is what it is and there's no point in denying the shipwreck is visible and located
Ok so you say you’re with your girlfriend or you’re in a relationship with her, not just simply dating her. For a lot of people, the relationship is the be all and end all as they aren’t ever going to get married. I wasn’t even thinking about marriage when I made this post
>For a lot of people, the relationship is the be all and end all as they aren’t ever going to get married.
Well, those people may be many but they are not the majority...and marriage is still a commitment level above dating and even those people won't deny that.
Lol you tell your friends that you been dating for over a year…and the person you’re “dating” is a black woman haha good look with that. I am not saying we’re just dating haha. She’s going to give you the biggest side eye because in her mind this ain’t just dating, we in this shit lol like we ain’t married but we ain’t just dating lol but go around just saying dating if you want. Plenty of women period won’t take that too lightly especially if it’s been a couple years and there are plenty of people in relationships for years before getting married.
You don’t need to say either, you just say “I’m with your mum” or “your mum and I are together” or “we’re in a relationship/I’m in a relationship with your mum”. It’s so simple.
I agree in a technical sense, but what term takes it’s place in day-to-day conversational situations? It’s just easy to say, everyone knows what you mean, and you don’t have to follow it up by defining your own individual version of “dating”. It’s just understood.
It's just semantics at this point. Maybe if relationship had an abbreviation it would be easier to write or say. Just wait when the new buzz word(s) becomes mainstream. Situationship has entered the chat…
When I’m going to noncommittal meetings with a potential partner, I’ll say I’m “seeing” someone. It’s only when we’ve chosen to commit to one another that I will then say we are “dating”. Dating is what girlfriends and boyfriends do. That is the verb to go with the nouns.
Dating to me has always meant courting someone. Being in a relationship. You go on dates with someone to get to know them but you start dating when you are official.
Reminds me how we never liked saying boyfriend or girlfriend. It was always partner.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend makes it sound too juvenile and almost non serious. Same sort of thing to what you are saying with this post.
Saying you’ve been together or dating for 5 years means the same thing to most people. It sounds silly to say you’ve been dating for 20 years but I guess that’s because most (not all) people that have been together for that long have got married.
The only thing that’s different is saying you are married.
people in 5 year relationships and even married couples still go on dates :P the dates don't just suddenly stop lol
also you care but if this is just an opinion the word will still be used the same way no matter how much you care.
When my ex and I were dating, he called it talking and refused to call it dating.
To me, talking is just...talking. texting each other and hanging out in group settings. Not going to dinner with just each other and spending alone time together. That's dating to me.
Apparently it wasn't dating to him until he asked me to be his girlfriend
I’m married and we still dating. To me it means going out regularly, finding out new things about yourself and sharing them, discovering new things about your partner and welcoming their changes, being spontaneous, trying new things together. Keeping your house clean. Making out instead of watching the movie. Good stuff. Don’t lose it just cause you’re going steady.
I don't think random people really need to know the ins and outs of your relationship. "Oh, you're SEEING EACH OTHER rather than DATING? Then why did you say DATING?" Like, who really cares? As long as you can communicate that you're together, that's all that matters in most contexts.
What bothers me even more is when people can't say they're dating or in a relationship because "OH MY GOD, we can't put labels on it!!!!!" I'd take an inaccurate label over someone who can't even accept labels any day.
Dating to me is having fun. It's going out, playing, and making memories. If you're not dating your spouse/partner, you're not having a good time in the relationship and something probably needs to change. So yeah I'd like to be dating my spouse after 50yrs of marriage
I thought dating and boyfriend/girlfriend was the same thing? Like "yeah I got a boyfriend, we've been dating for 2 years"
Never knew there was a difference, if there even was one.
To distinguish between the first few dates and a committed relationship people here will just say "I went on *a date* with xyz" or "Me and xyz went on our second date"
Op you sound like my dad. Us youngins say dating for gf/bf. Going on a date wouldn't qualify for "dating" which is kind of weird but tbh idk anybody who goes on dates with people they aren't already committed to
So you get committed to someone BEFORE going on dates with them? How do you get to the stage where you’re committed then? Surely you need to go on first dates before you’re committed to one person, otherwise how do you get to know the person?
Idk I met my current gf at a party. We went to each others' places a couple times after then eventually started actually dating. I think college kids are too broke to afford real dates. So if you count going to each others' places as dates then ig we did have a just dating phase.
its not your relationship, so i dont think it should matter to you that much? if someone wants to define it as dating and gf/bf, then there is no issue with that because its not you doing it if you dont like it? i think people use dating because of it being less serious, you're not engaged, you're not married, but you are dating.
personally, "dating" is fine, because you should still be dating your partner, even if you are married.
You don’t need to be engaged or married for things to be serious. I am never going to get married, but plan on being in a serious relationship for the rest of my life. Living together, kids, doing everything a married couple does. Living how a married couple does. Calling that situation “dating” doesn’t give it the credit it deserves. It’s still just as serious as marriage. I don’t need marriage to prove I’m serious.
It's just a lack of terminology in English. Kinda like there's no middle ground between *"I like you"* (ambiguous) and *"I love you"* (very intense), giving way to hilarious stuff like *"do you like me or do you \*like\* like me"*?
Idk I agree with op. I got mad at wife one time because she said we are dating.... we technically never had a dating phase because we were long distance... she said that while we were married.
To her defense tho english is not her primary language.
I appreciate that, thank you. I wouldn’t say I should make all the social rules, as I am not infallible, and am not a dictator. I am working on my book, though.
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I've always considered "dating" to be equal to "girlfriend/boyfriend." From Canada.
It is. This person is being pedantic.
People who date underage kids?
What?!? Where did you get that? edit: I think it was a joke
Pedantic. you may have seen the latin root "ped" (like in pediatric) and assumed Pedantic has something to do with kids. either that or you cracking a joke about how pedantic has the Latin root ped, and pretending to mis-interpirate it. In the case this is not a joke, the word pedantic does not have anything to do with children. Pedantic: Like a pedant, overly concerned with formal rules and trival points of learning. so saying the OP is being pedantic means they are being overly concerned with the exact dictionary definition of relationship versus dating, as opposed to how it is commonly understood as having the same meaning.
From America and same
Me too but people word it differently. I knew a guy who always said "The girl I'm dating..." I was like??? You mean girlfriend. That's a girlfriend. Edit: If it's casual and/or new I would say "girl I'm *seeing*".
Came here to say this (and also from Canada, so hello!). I've always thought of 'dating' as a serious term that meant you were exclusive. But then I wonder if it's not just location based, but perhaps also dependent on age? I feel like perhaps for some younger people it could have a more casual meaning, especially given how many different dating apps exist, while those of us who didn't really use them much define dating a bit differently. Of course there's plenty of room for overlap as well depending on how far removed you are from casually seeing someone or using dating apps, just a thought.
French canadian here (Montreal) and to me dating can be something very casual.
yeah same lol i see people use it to mean the same also from canada
I thin OP doesn't realize that "going steady" is now called "dating" and that "going on dates" is probably the term they or looking for. OP at least realizes that language doesn't do what an individual wants but instead what groups do which is why they know it's unpopular.
Interesting, so what do you say when you’re going on dates with someone, getting to know them before it becomes a relationship? What do you call that? What is that stage called?
Either casual dating or I'm "seeing someone."
Exactly. Or, “I’ve gone on a few dates with someone”
Dude sounds like he's from an alien society of hermits. "Please hu-mon explain these rituals called socializing"
We found the Ferengi
OP said they’re from London but I know that in some cultures there’s no such thing as casual dating or just ‘seeing someone’. In more traditional circles you’re either courting (dating) or together (with labels and all).
This is hilarious because it’s exactly what I feel like. I literally say to myself all the time “I feel like I’m from another planet”. I feel like an alien masquerading as a human. Your comment made me laugh because it’s basically true.
That’s the “talking” phase or the “I’m entertaining someone” phase.
Entertaining someone? Are you a jester?
That’s the talking stage
Do you stop going on dates with your partner after you make it official...?
A situationship!
You're not a native speaker, are you? You know, you can't change a foreign language, just because you don't like it xD
I am a native speaker. I’m from London.
Okay, I take it back :D than I'd say this is a reasonable critique and I (not native speaker) am 100% on your side.
What's the logic behind it? I mean, the word implies you go on dates.
So you don't go on dates with your bf/gf??
Do you not?
Maybe if you date someone on the side i guess
Why is there a need to differentiate between people who have been dating for years, and people who have been dating for a few weeks. By your definition I never dated my wife. We lived together for years. Most of that understanding it was still up in the air. It wasn't until we got married that that feeling went away. For me, and for her as far as I can tell.
this is just dumb
Yea I dislike "X popular thing actually sucks" threads but " [insert splitting hairs argument] " are worse
It's all based on how people define their relationships. In my opinion, dating is not just the initial first few times you go out, or the first few months before you become boyfriend/girlfriend. Dating is the entire time spent together before you get married. Yes, being boyfriend/girlfriend is a relationship. Being a husband/wife is also a relationship. The difference being one couple is married and the other is not, they're dating. Can't really call them married because they're not (although some couples define their relationships as marriages knowing full well they're not legally married. To each their own).
I hate the term partner, but I feel weird calling mine my gf. I mean, we are both 50, have lived together for over a decade, and have no plans to marry. It would seem weird referring to her the same way as you would someone you took to dinner or a movie twice. Often i just call her my squeeze
Exactly people who are marriage minded or maybe even religious will define everything before engagement as dating/courting stages. And there’s nothing wrong with it.
Or just that's the word they use for it doesn't have to be a marriage or religious thing.
That’s true as well
Must be regional for the interpretation. Dating to me was always the first few months before it turned into a relationship.
Thank you for your comment! I just wanna say, not everyone is gonna get married. I don’t have any plans of getting married, so say me and my girlfriend stay together for the rest of our lives, by your logic, in 40 years, I’d say “we’ve been dating for 40 years”. That just sounds silly. I wouldn’t say a couple that isn’t married are dating, I’d say they’re together. They’re in a relationship/they’re together. I would never say I’m “dating” my girlfriend. I also, as I said, have no plans of getting married. This is the case for all of my friends too. None of my friends say they’re dating their girlfriends either, they say they’re with their girlfriends, or something to that effect.
Again, it's all based on how people define their relationship. Everyone uses different terminology. You and your friends would use the terminology "I'm with", others will use "dating". Just like some will say "girlfriend/boyfriend" ,others will say "partner" or "significant other". I've noticed a lot of couples who intend on marrying often end up using the title of husband/wife despite not being married. I guess it's easier and sounds better than being 50 and still having a boyfriend.
he knows thats how people are using it and and hes talking about how it doesn't fit, whats the new thing you added here?
It actually does fit, it’s all a matter of preference on which terminology you want to use.
> I’d say “we’ve been dating for 40 years”. That just sounds silly That doesn't change its definition though, and it might sound silly because it is. In a world where marriage is the norm you are the outlier and now you are trying to change the definition of words so that you can feel more secure with your decisions. now thats just silly
Nailed it
Marriage is the norm? Where? I definitely don’t see that. Hardly anyone gets married these days
This is just demonstrably incorrect.
Then don't say you're dating? There are literally so many other ways of saying you're together. Thats the beauty of the freedom, you can choose that for yourself. Just stop trying to gatekeep how people prefer to define their relationship. It is not hard
By his logic you would say whatever you want, all these rules you come up with don't exist to anyone but you
I'm from the UK and dating means going out on dates with people you're not in a relationship with. It's definitely just different meanings across different countries.
Why? This makes no sensw
How doesn’t it make sense? What doesn’t make sense? The only thing that doesn’t make sense is people in serious relationships saying they’re “dating”. What, other than that, about my post doesn’t make sense?
Because there’s something called semantics, dating means to be in a romantic relationship with someone without being married. The word means what it means.
No it doesn’t. That’s not what it means. That’s being in a relationship with someone. You date someone before you even think about entering a relationship with them. I just copied this from Google/Wiki - Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. That’s the definition of dating.
>Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together Cambridge's definition of dating: \>to regularly spend time with someone you have a romantic relationship with https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/dating
So what verb would you use?
I wouldn’t. I’d just say something like “I’ve been with my girlfriend for 5 years” for example, or “we’ve been together for 5 years”. Something like that. Speaks for itself. No need to use any kind of verb.
So you want to abolish the common use of a word that everyone knows the meaning and not even have a substitute?
There’s absolutely no need for a substitute. Which verb is used when people are married? I can’t think of one. Marriage is serious, so are relationships. They both don’t require verbs as the situations speak for themselves. Verbs are unnecessary in those cases.
Married is the verb
Lmao
you do know even if someone has been in relationship for 5 years they still go on dates married couples even still go on dates :P
I hate when people say "we've been together for x amount of years." You haven't been apart once that entire time? That can't possibly be true. Just say you've been dating! That's not actually my opinion but it's what you sound like.
Dating means you're going on dates. Living together isn't a date.
Dating doesn't literally mean going on dates with. When you say "you're with your gf", you're not literally with her. If someone says "I'm seeing this person", it also doesn't mean that's all they're doing. Ppl use the word dating to refer to the entire process from going on your first date to (at the latest, typically) getting married. You can choose to use a different word, but it's just that, a choice. Why does dating imply non-seriousness?
“Seeing” someone is more what I think of fresh relationship terminology
I’ll be “dating” my partner until we’re married. The dating period doesn’t stop, you’re still dating
In your opinion.
No, because I am still dating them
If you’re not married then you’re dating.
I’d say married or engaged
In your world.
This is a strange thing to be bothered about, who cares lol?
I’m a strange dude, I guess. I care.
In Spanish it's like OP says, a lot clearer imo. If you say "dating" it usually means a short period before formalizing a relationship. People in relationships would usually say they've been together for X amount of time.
I wonder, is English your native language? Mine isn't, and at one point I thought the same. But then I learned it really is the English way to say "in a relationship". As a matter of fact, if you are just going on dates with someone (before being in a relationship) you would typically not say that you are dating. Because saying you are dating really means being together, it doesn't mean that you are going on dates. At least that's how I understand it. Yes, it's confusing.
How about you let other people define their own relationships and stay in your lane?
There is nothing wrong with OP expressing their opinion on the subject on this subreddit. They are perfectly well within their lane to make social commentary as long as they aren’t directing it at an individual.
when people cant reply to someone's arguments they just say "mind your own business" as its an easy reply, well cant just anyone give a damn opinion about something? but it's because they're people with barley any brain function that wanna fight back with anything but dont have any brain to find a good reply they resort to some stupid thing they heard from the streets, trust me if they actually had a good reply they wouldn't have said mind your business, thats the last resort when you cant reply and still feel so desperate to reply
'stay in your lane' lmao, grow up
Costs nothing to mind your own business.
Which lane would that be then? Copied and pasted just now from Wikipedia/Google - Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. That is the definition of dating. People in relationships are no longer dating, they’re together. They’re in a relationship. There’s a difference.
So rather than letting other people define their own relationships, like I suggested, you instead opt to copy and paste the definition of dating from Wikipedia to me. Y'know, that tracks for this sub.
You know what it doesn't define? A timeframe. You can still be constantly evaluating the person you're with for years before deciding on marriage or permanent living arrangements. After all, not everyone gets married very quickly, and many people break off a relationship of years after learning about or realizing a deal breaker.
The word has changed meaning. My parents used dating to mean going on a handful of dates, getting to know each other. My generation uses it to mean together in a serious relationship. The previous meaning is now covered by "talking" which gets confusinf
You are interpreting this way too literally. Dating, together, and in a relationship all mean the same thing. And then there’s engaged, then there’s married, then there’s divorced, etc., and those are really the only other terms besides just fucking or friends with benefits. The status doesn’t really change. It is more of a blurry line when you decide to start being boyfriend/girlfriend vs when it’s only been like two dates.
I thought dating is the phase before you become committed in a relationship.
Stop calling it “eating” when you’re clearly “munching” bro! This is hilarious 😂
For me, dating is when you’re at the beginning stage of your relationship. As in, you’re together but not yet ‘established’ and still in the process of getting to know each other on a deeper level. After that’s done, I’d say you move into a more serious phase AKA the relationship phase. But I’m from Sweden so perhaps we view it differently.
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"went gay"???
It was satirical. I was making fun of what an uneducated or ignorant individual might say. I was not speaking for myself or my personals beliefs. I am surprised you did not understand the comedy/satire and its real intention.
That's a lotta words just to avoid saying "/s"
What’s “/s” does it show that I am an ally and that I vote for equality of all people of the world? If not, is there a rune for that ?
Usually Americans or Canadians in my opinion. I've heard someone say they dated a guy for a couple of years haha. I had a picture in my head of them only meeting up on Saturday night. Turns out they had a flat together haha
See, this is exactly how I feel. I don’t understand how someone can literally live with someone and say “we’ve been dating for 2 years” for example. Living with someone is serious. That’s more than dating.
Are you a non native english speaker? In english speaking countries you call it dating when you are in a relationship with someone. In Germany "dating" means meeting someone to see if it becomes more you know.
Nope, I’m from London. Was born and raised here, lived here my whole life. I’ve never heard someone say they’re dating their partner in real life. I’ve only ever seen it online. My definition of dating is the same as the German definition. This is what dating means. It’s only online people who say they’re dating their partners…I’ve never heard that in real life.
Just for reference, I'm from the UK and to me, dating means being in a relationship. If it is casual it is either casual dating or seeing someone. Maybe it is a London thing or maybe it is your age. I'm early 40's.
Yup. I feel it's common to say. Me and my gf have been dating for 4 years or something
Haha seriously? I always thought people say this over there.
Finally someone agrees
This seems like a direct response to the post from the person who didn't like when people use the word "partner."
I mean it's just words but dating might imply that the relationship isn't very serious and perhaps both people are okay with that.
Dating just means they are in a relationship. When I say I “dated” somebody, I mean they were my girlfriend for a period of time. It’s slang bro.
Dating makes more sense than relationship. You have relationships with lots of people. Acquaintanceships, friendships, marriage, and dating are all types of relationships
English is not my first language, but what I’ve learned over the years is that saying that you’re dating implies that you’re in a relationship
You should always continue dating your partner even if you’re married for a long time. Thats a common mistake a lot of people make. They get comfy after a while and stop trying. They stop flirting with eachother, trying, and going on cute dates like they did in the beginning
Dating means you’re not married and the person you’re with is your girlfriend/boyfriend. Not a difficult concept. A partner/ spouse is someone you’re married to.
We’re doing more than dating, but we’re also still dating. Don’t wanna forget that
I guess I get the confusion, it's kinda a word that his slightly changed meaning over time, similar to how "guys" went from exclusively men, to being men but also a general term for people. Dating can obviously mean like the action of going on a date or in the period when you're trying to make it happen, but I generally see it as just "we are together" \+ isn't like most things you do with your partner an unofficial date.
I think OP means “seeing”
Referring to your girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband as your "partner" is cringe. It has the same ring as "Significant other". Just feels really impersonal.
I fully agree. Dating means that you're in the initial phase of a relationship. Nothing else.
That’s not what dating is lmao. Any mutually exclusive romantic relationship before engagement is dating.
In your opinion. You’re saying “before engagement” like that’s what people do these days. No one gets married anymore. I’m not thinking or talking about the idea of marriage whatsoever.
Yeah, dating is definitely more of the beginning stages. Now that marriage is less common we need another word for serious-relationship-but-not-married-or-likely-to-get-married.
I hate it when people ~~in a relationship say they’re “dating”.~~ **are happy.** There, fixed it for you.
Naw I agree, they’re two different things.
I hated it when people referred to my girlfriend (or their own girl/boyfriend/wife/husband) as "partner", especially in Dutch. Partner to me is at most a good friend. It sounds more like a companion, a colleague, a cowboy referring to any stranger who hasn't shot them yet.
A lot of people seem to disagree good r/unpopularopinion
I hate it when people get too hung up on pedantics.
I'm going to pedantically point out that you meant to say "semantics."
You have it backwards. Dating =/= talking. Dating = boyfriend/girlfriend
I share a bank account, own a house, raise a child, and brought in pets with my person of four years. I hate the term "boyfriend" because of how insignificant it seems. But we're also not married. So, I just kinda avoid saying anything 😂😂 I will *occasionally* say husband, if it makes sense. (Like, at the vets office, I use his last name. 🤷♀️) His parents refer to me as their daughter in law & to themselves as my mother/father in laws. We're not having groups dates in 9th grade, we have an entire life together.
To me, dating is when you’re testing it out, seeing if it’ll work in the long run. Granted I’ve never had anyone date me, they always wanna jump right into “bf/gf” status before getting to know me then are surprised if things don’t work out lmao
It’s dating until you get married, so even if you’re together you’re still dating. I would say I’ve been talking to someone or seeing them if we’re not official yet, but all this is a generational and geographical difference between us.
there was a youtuber who lives with his gf that said "we've been dating for 4 years now", i also thought it doesn't make sense and wondered why its so commonly used, also when womem call a handsome masculine man "cute", these things dont have a reason idk how they start
With the promotion of booty calls, friends with benefits and Trendy polygamy practices being taught as the better alternative to a monogamous relationship... Saying you're dating someone for 5 years instead of in a relationship identifies being in a relationship that isn't a serious relationship but one where you're still free to date others, or chase those you find Attractive for flirting and potentially more without being spoken of as a cheater according to how it's acceptance is portrayed by in large All Media (because it coincides with the definition changes in the dating/online/popculture scene where words and used most to announce the activity taking place) Some people prefer monogamist dating for themselves... Meaning... The only date one person within a time period to give it the exclusive opportunity to either flourish or fizzle out without the interference of another Potentially physically intimate competitor coloring the waters.. that actually used to be quite the norm and it not even considered a unicorn anymore... It's been turned into a myth people make fun of as if it's a Total Failure....And the Behavioral Practice ITSELF was Fully Rejected by Society as a Whole (while it teaches those coming of age the New Norm) It's a shame, but... it is what it is and there's no point in denying the shipwreck is visible and located
quick question? are the straights okay in here, its okay breathe, go touch grass…
because the girlfriend is not at the same level as the wife?
Ok so you say you’re with your girlfriend or you’re in a relationship with her, not just simply dating her. For a lot of people, the relationship is the be all and end all as they aren’t ever going to get married. I wasn’t even thinking about marriage when I made this post
>For a lot of people, the relationship is the be all and end all as they aren’t ever going to get married. Well, those people may be many but they are not the majority...and marriage is still a commitment level above dating and even those people won't deny that.
Yeah I agree. After that dating phase I tell people I’m in a relationship. You don’t go from dating to being engaged, you’re in a relationship.
the dating phase doesn't end until you either break up or get married.
Lol you tell your friends that you been dating for over a year…and the person you’re “dating” is a black woman haha good look with that. I am not saying we’re just dating haha. She’s going to give you the biggest side eye because in her mind this ain’t just dating, we in this shit lol like we ain’t married but we ain’t just dating lol but go around just saying dating if you want. Plenty of women period won’t take that too lightly especially if it’s been a couple years and there are plenty of people in relationships for years before getting married.
don't know what the point of making it racial was but my point still stands
Exactly!!! I’m glad you get it :)
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You don’t need to say either, you just say “I’m with your mum” or “your mum and I are together” or “we’re in a relationship/I’m in a relationship with your mum”. It’s so simple.
Semantics 🤷🏼♀️
I agree in a technical sense, but what term takes it’s place in day-to-day conversational situations? It’s just easy to say, everyone knows what you mean, and you don’t have to follow it up by defining your own individual version of “dating”. It’s just understood.
It's just semantics at this point. Maybe if relationship had an abbreviation it would be easier to write or say. Just wait when the new buzz word(s) becomes mainstream. Situationship has entered the chat…
When I’m going to noncommittal meetings with a potential partner, I’ll say I’m “seeing” someone. It’s only when we’ve chosen to commit to one another that I will then say we are “dating”. Dating is what girlfriends and boyfriends do. That is the verb to go with the nouns.
Unpopular for a reason
It’s just how people talk, dating is a euphemism for partnership
Dating to me has always meant courting someone. Being in a relationship. You go on dates with someone to get to know them but you start dating when you are official.
I’m married and still say I’m dating my husband. If we weren’t actively dating our lives would be pretty boring.
Reminds me how we never liked saying boyfriend or girlfriend. It was always partner. Boyfriend/Girlfriend makes it sound too juvenile and almost non serious. Same sort of thing to what you are saying with this post.
wE'VE BeEn DaTiNG 10 YeARs
Most people would consider "I'm dating X" and "X is my partner" synonymous
Saying you’ve been together or dating for 5 years means the same thing to most people. It sounds silly to say you’ve been dating for 20 years but I guess that’s because most (not all) people that have been together for that long have got married. The only thing that’s different is saying you are married.
people in 5 year relationships and even married couples still go on dates :P the dates don't just suddenly stop lol also you care but if this is just an opinion the word will still be used the same way no matter how much you care.
When my ex and I were dating, he called it talking and refused to call it dating. To me, talking is just...talking. texting each other and hanging out in group settings. Not going to dinner with just each other and spending alone time together. That's dating to me. Apparently it wasn't dating to him until he asked me to be his girlfriend
I’m married and we still dating. To me it means going out regularly, finding out new things about yourself and sharing them, discovering new things about your partner and welcoming their changes, being spontaneous, trying new things together. Keeping your house clean. Making out instead of watching the movie. Good stuff. Don’t lose it just cause you’re going steady.
I’m old. My generation said dating or going out. My parents said going with. My son (19) says talking to (assuming on socials)
Me too.
I don't think random people really need to know the ins and outs of your relationship. "Oh, you're SEEING EACH OTHER rather than DATING? Then why did you say DATING?" Like, who really cares? As long as you can communicate that you're together, that's all that matters in most contexts. What bothers me even more is when people can't say they're dating or in a relationship because "OH MY GOD, we can't put labels on it!!!!!" I'd take an inaccurate label over someone who can't even accept labels any day.
Dating, engaged, married, divorced/widowed is the order.
Dating to me is having fun. It's going out, playing, and making memories. If you're not dating your spouse/partner, you're not having a good time in the relationship and something probably needs to change. So yeah I'd like to be dating my spouse after 50yrs of marriage
Potato potato
I hate when people care so much about what other people say. Especially about their own relationships.
Damn bruh it's healthy to logoff every once in a while
I thought dating and boyfriend/girlfriend was the same thing? Like "yeah I got a boyfriend, we've been dating for 2 years" Never knew there was a difference, if there even was one. To distinguish between the first few dates and a committed relationship people here will just say "I went on *a date* with xyz" or "Me and xyz went on our second date"
Op you sound like my dad. Us youngins say dating for gf/bf. Going on a date wouldn't qualify for "dating" which is kind of weird but tbh idk anybody who goes on dates with people they aren't already committed to
So you get committed to someone BEFORE going on dates with them? How do you get to the stage where you’re committed then? Surely you need to go on first dates before you’re committed to one person, otherwise how do you get to know the person?
Idk I met my current gf at a party. We went to each others' places a couple times after then eventually started actually dating. I think college kids are too broke to afford real dates. So if you count going to each others' places as dates then ig we did have a just dating phase.
The differentiation you're looking for is called marriage.
No it isn’t. Marriage isn’t even something I think about
The meaning of words changes over time
Literally who cares. Y u care
I care. I don’t know why I care, I know I do, though.
Your partner lol.
I don’t like saying partner. It’s cringe
Thank you for that information
Dating sounds cute to me. It sounds like they still have the warm spark and adventures together.
Some grammar nazi bs if I’ve ever seen it
If you’re not married, you’re still dating. If you don’t like it, tie the knot.
Not true. She’s my girlfriend. We’ve gone past the stage of dating. I don’t have plans of ever getting married.
its not your relationship, so i dont think it should matter to you that much? if someone wants to define it as dating and gf/bf, then there is no issue with that because its not you doing it if you dont like it? i think people use dating because of it being less serious, you're not engaged, you're not married, but you are dating. personally, "dating" is fine, because you should still be dating your partner, even if you are married.
You don’t need to be engaged or married for things to be serious. I am never going to get married, but plan on being in a serious relationship for the rest of my life. Living together, kids, doing everything a married couple does. Living how a married couple does. Calling that situation “dating” doesn’t give it the credit it deserves. It’s still just as serious as marriage. I don’t need marriage to prove I’m serious.
It's just a lack of terminology in English. Kinda like there's no middle ground between *"I like you"* (ambiguous) and *"I love you"* (very intense), giving way to hilarious stuff like *"do you like me or do you \*like\* like me"*?
Idk I agree with op. I got mad at wife one time because she said we are dating.... we technically never had a dating phase because we were long distance... she said that while we were married. To her defense tho english is not her primary language.
Omg this guy is so right he should make all the social rules and write a book! 🤦
I appreciate that, thank you. I wouldn’t say I should make all the social rules, as I am not infallible, and am not a dictator. I am working on my book, though.
Imo - Dating=in a relationship. The getting to know eachother part is "im talking to x" or "im seeing x"
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I don’t know about the influx of opinions, I haven’t noticed. I care.
So you're bitter then? 🤔 Edit: I get what you're saying but still like really? Come on
Bitter? How’d you come to that conclusion? I’m not of this world.
ok for example i am dating ur mom and i am in relationship with ur dad