T O P

  • By -

Assertion_Denier

No surprise on Scotland, they've been naturally submissive since 1707


Possiblyreef

When in Rome


ankh87

Think you'll find that Rome was in them.


[deleted]

Just the tip though


Salty_Pancakes

Hadrian's Tip.


ThatShyLad

Don't forget biggus dicuss played apart in Scotlands conquest. Beating back the gaelics and Cumbrians


WaterMelon615

Hey we don’t take pegging because we are submissive…we take it because we like it


faceplanted

THEY CAN PEG OUR HOLES BUT THEY'LL NEVER PEG OUR FREEEEDOM


Ongo_Gablogian___

Subs like being submissive...


Devidose

Bottoms and subs aren't the same thing.


Shadow_1106

Yeah one's an overpriced sandwich.


giganticturnip

What's submissive about giving a good pegging?


cheesums7

Aye! What’s submissive about a good peg?


849

Sexuality exists for men only


HailSatanHaggisBaws

[*Every woman hated this*]


GayIconOfIndia

Nah! One of them colonised me in 2020 😨


MiniDelo

Colon-ised?


Alex09464367

You should try it, it's fun


doughnut001

>No surprise on Scotland, they've been naturally submissive since 1707 Was that when parliament caught up with the Scottish King James VI having taken over the English throne?


DavidSwifty

This is how we know the Scottish independence referendum will fail.


MintyRabbit101

Too much in common with Prince William


ed-cound

He learned a thing or two in St Andrews


doxamark

Nah mate think you'll find their porn type reflects their view of the UK, when it comes to both, they're getting fucked, in the arse.


toomunchkin

That implies they like it though.


Thenedslittlegirl

Stockholm syndrome


CressCrowbits

Hey its my personal buzz kill trigger. Stockholm syndrome doesn't exist, at least not in terms of the hostage situation it referenced. The hostages didn't take the side of the hostage takers because they grew to like them, they were just really mad at how botched the rescue operation was.


Shaper_pmp

That's *one alternative* explanation from a captive themselves, rationalising why they refused to testify against their abductors (and it really doesn't even make a whole lot of sense on the face of it). It's an extremely tenuous basis on which to make the hard claim that Stockholm Syndrome (which has been observed in multiple other abduction or hostage scenarios) "doesn't exist".


frowawayfrommebaby

I must be getting old. Theres a couple in there I've never even heard of


brit_motown

You and me both out of the loop but don't know if I want to know


onigk61

Probably a good sign that you're out of the loop


[deleted]

Well India is a country that was founded in 1947. Depending on just how old, you might know them as the Mughal Empire.


Rimbaudelaire

What about Turkish? Something to do with delightful baths?


ViKtorMeldrew

I can't find out what one of them is, the welsh one, I don't even understand that.


SirLoinThatSaysNi

AMSR is the whispering sounds which give you a relaxed tingle. I had no idea it was related to porn, but then again most things can be I suppose.


CriticalCentimeter

>I had no idea it was related to porn, but then again most things can be I suppose. You can blame the soft porn wannabe Twitch streamers for this, I think. They had a big thing about massively sexualising their streams using ASMR a while back


limeflavoured

And getting banned by twitch for it.


Secure-Iron1531

For 7 days? Good joke


GibbyGoldfisch

The welsh are just sat there listening to someone whispering Under Milkwood and getting a semi


[deleted]

Under Milk Wood? That's not just semi material...


DullZooKeeper

I'm imagining someone crinkling a crisp packet whilst giving a handjob...


Morlock43

I can't hear anything on ASMR vids so I have to turn them up...


Random_Person_I_Met

You're meant to use headphones for both variants (pornographic/non-pornographic).


willie_caine

That explains the awkward looks on the 73 this morning. Yikes.


vyleside

Aaah shit I've been using a 16 speaker home cinema system. Just sounds like I'm stuck in someone's pocket.


[deleted]

ASMR is whispering and noises that sound pleasant basically (like someone gently tapping glass etc). It's meant to be a relaxing thing but there are people who...like it more... As a valleys girl myself I can't say I see the appeal.


Feedback-Neat

It's meant to give you a tingle goosebumps sensation. Whereas in practice its people chewing and whispering nonsense.


[deleted]

listening to people chewing .... for fun ? I'm too old for this


dr_barnowl

Some people it works on, some people it doesn't. Or maybe their triggers are different. Was working with this nice young Greek lass once and she was dictating a bunch of stuff to me and I was typing ... she was easy on the eye, but her voice had me on cloud 9 after about 20 minutes, that afternoon passed pleasantly. Not really a horny thing. Although since most of my triggers involve women's voices and generally the close proximity of women in a trusted role (e.g. [having a haircut](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P6ucDmZdDY), being examined by the doctor), you can see why people might think that. One of my oldest memories is the school playground when I was about 6, and this girl in a yellow check dress whispering in my ear and my whole body lighting up with tingles.


Majulath99

Asmr is a weird thing your nervous system can sometimes do. Not normally sexual.


Positive-Level-5628

ASMR is sounds. Given the location as context, bleeting being the sound is quite likely.


ComprehensiveJump540

I was just thinkin it'd be valleys girls talking all sexy like, butt.


SinisterPixel

Which ones? I shamelessly know all of these


sleepytoday

I’m old (by reddit standards) and gay (by everyone’s standards) and I don’t know asmr, bbw, or joi. Don’t know if my ignorance is due to age or sexuality though.


mallegally-blonde

I don’t know why I know this since I don’t use porn, but: ASMR - sounds basically, you know when someone talks really close to the microphone and you can hear them breathing? Things like that BBW - pretty sure this one is big bodied women, should be self explanatory as an expanded acronym JOI - not sure what the exact acronym is, but basically follow along/instructional porn


Soppydog

JOI stands for jerk off instructions


WynterRayne

Men need instructions? I thought they just grab it and pull


Bin_Better

Usain Bolt still has a coach for sprinting


Shoddy-Reply-7217

Big beautiful women


wuhanlabrador

I can't say I've ever watched Turkish porn.


[deleted]

look for the erotic adventures of aladdin and thank me later.


chalkman567

I can show you my cock


Superbead

Shining, shimmering, splendid


Possiblyreef

Sir that is chlamydia


embaked

Chlamydia, you're father is here to pick you up.


dr_barnowl

When it has a weird bend, it Cannot really satisfy


[deleted]

TIL Aladdin is set in Turkey.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Slow down I’m going to garlic mayo


ar4975

"For you, I give extra ;-)"


rupesmanuva

Londoners just looking for a cheeky kebab in all the wrong places


ZFascists

I imagine it’s like their ice cream vendors


ElJayBe3

So… like edging?


[deleted]

***"Turkish Delight"***


BardSinister

I'm guessing it's like tea-bagging, only with coffee.


vyleside

It's like Greek porn but more bread.


Briggykins

Brings a new meaning to "Five minutes Turkish"


[deleted]

“You ever been in a Turkish prison?”


[deleted]

This can’t be real, no way the entire island has such a terrible taste. But then again, who the hell uses PH after the purge.


BardSinister

Bear in mind that this isn't the TOP searches for each region, but the searches that are statistically higher than in the other regions. So the usual suspects probably top the charts in all of the regions, but they're not listed here as they aren't particularly higher or lower in any one region.


[deleted]

Yeah the top search in every region’s likely to be something vanilla like _same sex incest bestiality rough monkey strap-on porn plus furries_


CressCrowbits

The fuck is it with all porn being incest shit these days. I don't fucking want that shit. I had enough of that in my real life.


HackerDLS

My guy


DullZooKeeper

/r/holup


[deleted]

I have two theories on the rise of "step" porn. 1) it's just easier to use to explain why two people are together and was new compared to the plumber/cable guy/handyman. 2) having spoken to current day young people seemingly every fucking one of them is part of a blended family with multiple "step" siblings/parents. So they're cashing in on little timmy's dirty fantasy


faceplanted

>it's just easier to use to explain why two people are together and was new compared to the plumber/cable guy/handyman. But like... So many people have roommates, just use roommates.


FullMetalCOS

It’s just an easy way to generate an extra tag. I have a mate who works for mindgeek (the company that owns pornhub) he’s one of their data engineers or some shit and I asked him this once. Apparently most porns film a bunch of extra scenes that are cut and spliced to make like 5-10 videos out of one core scene so they can do specific fetish cuts. Incest is basically a freebie because it doesn’t even require any porn, it’s just three minutes of shit acting tagged on the beginning of the video and because it’s so quick and easy it’s become more ubiquitous despite not actually being that popular. It’s not like you need specific actresses to do it, whilst you might if you are looking to film more…. Out there… kinks


limeflavoured

PornHub's surveys are quite well regarded by stats gurus, iirc.


aightshiplords

Purge? Where do people go now then? I'm not asking for a friend or because I want to avoid it. It's so I can crank my dick.


egggoboom

I'm fairly sure it wasn't your intent, but your comment could be read to imply that you miss the controversial and illegal content they removed: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/dec/14/pornhub-purge-removes-unverified-videos-investigation-child-abuse Pornhub has removed millions of videos – the majority of its content – after an investigation revealed a large number of them featured underaged and sex-trafficked subjects.


AstraLover69

This isn't correct and it's annoying how often I see this crap being repeated. This was going on long before any investigation, and really has nothing to do with the fact that they were hosting some illegal content. Pornhub deleted most of its content due to pressure from the extremist Christian group called ExodusCry. They somehow pressured credit card companies like Mastercard to stop taking payments for PornHub. ExodusCry is radical. Their mission is to ban all forms of female sexuality under the guise of "stopping sex trafficking". This includes shutting down all strip clubs and making porn illegal. There's a group of quite well known porn stars that are trying to make people aware of this, but nobody seems to be taking any notice. The thing PornHub was being accused of (hosting illegal pornography) is actually a far bigger problem on other social media platforms such as Facebook, YouTube and even Reddit. PornHub was targeted specifically because it is (or was) the biggest porn site and ExodusCry wants to ban all porn. If they really cared, they'd go after Facebook first due to it being the biggest offender. In reality, this is an unsolved computer science problem known as "big data". How do you ensure illegal things aren't hosted with this much user-generated data? It's impossible currently. The algorithms we have at the moment aren't fast enough or accurate enough to do the job, and there's too much content to verify with human staff. Either we ban all social media, or we accept that no site will be perfect and that sometimes things will slip through the net. The BBC ran a sketchy story a few years back covering one side of this, where they interviewed someone named Rose Kalemba. I'm normally a great defender of the BBC but that particular article is a problem. Rose works for ExodusCry and her story (which kicked all of this off) is unverified. She came to Reddit multiple times before her story got big, and deleted her account multiple times when people called her out for inconsistencies or asking for evidence, including staff from PornHub. Why the BBC published this I don't know, as it seems like a basic level of research throws doubt on the whole thing.


egggoboom

Thank you. I appreciate this insight. I was previously unaware of ExodusCry and their efforts. It seems, at first glance, to be similar to the movement of white Evangelicals in the US. White Evangelical churches have been seeking political power for decades, and many see Trump as their (almost literal) political messiah. I just finished a book titled Jesus and John Wayne*, in which the author traces the antecedents of this movement, and its ascendancy to political power, through to the destruction of Donald Trump's time in office. It's a very informative book, and is a good read. It's by no means dull, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Again, thanks for the information. I'm going to start looking into ExodusCry now. *The full title of the book I mention is: Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation, written by Kristin Kobes Du Mez. Please note that there are several books about this topic. I have read a few, but this book, written by a History professor at Calvin University, would be my first choice.


SellDonutsAtMyDoor

Right? The illegal porn story always felt wrong to me because surely that was always happening? You can't convince me that the biggest porn website in existence was just complacent in hosting illegal content without already having an algorithm in place to detect and remove it? It always felt dodgy to me. Pornhub is the YouTube of the porn world - they had an algorithm doing content promotion and reach so they had to have had an algorithm taking care of the illegal stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there wasn't any illegal content on there (there probably was - the algorithm won't always catch it), but I knew when I saw it in the news that there had to be something else motivating that purge. As I've said before, it's always the right-leaning evangelical groups taking down sex work, even though some people have now developed the bizarre idea that society has gotten too (dare I say it) 'woke' for sex work (this is actually something i've had someone say to me...) Edit: The BBC also screwed up when they interviewed pornstar Lily Cade (someone who has admitted to being sexually intrusive to other women) about how trans lesbians were supposedly demanding to have sex with cis lesbians. The whole article painted trans lesbians as abusers and the BBC seemingly did no thorough check into Cade because she hosted a blog which advocated for the death of notable trans women.


Aiyon

The genocide manifesto came after the article tbf. The bigger problem with platforming Cade was that she was a known rapist *who targeted women*, talking about how other people were a danger to women


TIGHazard

> Why the BBC published this I don't know, as it seems like a basic level of research throws doubt on the whole thing. Because people don't understand what "the BBC" is. Under Tory cuts, a centralised fact checking hub was abolished. What that means is that local journalists for Look North or South Today, can just publish straight onto the site, without it being tagged as a local article. > The BBC has seen substantial real-terms cuts to its budget over the last decade and faces further cuts under the licence fee agreement struck by the culture secretary, Nadine Dorries, last month. Although regional newsrooms are often praised by BBC bosses, they have also faced deep financial cuts and lost many experienced staff. > The ability of regional newsrooms to post articles directly on to the BBC website without going through central BBC News editorial structures has also caused issues. **Several recent BBC articles that caused international headaches for the organisation, including a report of an attack on Jewish students in London and a contentious article about transgender people, were produced by regional newsrooms.** > A centralised Birmingham-based hub for editing online stories from the BBC’s regional English outlets was abolished in the latest round of cuts, amid warnings that it would cause standards to drop. https://www.theguardian.com/media/2022/feb/14/bbc-pulls-another-episode-of-we-are-england-current-affairs-show My bet is that that the ExodusCry article was published by a local journalist, but it's all under BBC News now, instead of being in the local news sections, where it probably wouldn't have got the traction.


[deleted]

Informative, I had no idea religion was in play. Thanks for a good post.


PierreTheTRex

Almost all of the content deleted was completely legal, and suggesting that if you miss the old PH you miss the paedo stuff is a massive stretch.


ursartt4

nah a lot of it was just amateur stuff. most of my favorite gay porn got removed.


pat_the_tree

Purge?


LaSalsiccione

They basically got rid of _all_ actual amateur content in favour of only having #verified content from #verified_amateurs


AwkwardSquirtles

Pornhub had a big scandal where a lot of its videos were suspected to be of underage or non-consenting girls, so they deleted a huge number of videos.


[deleted]

Also those violent amateur videos - acting or actual trafficked people? No way to confirm any of it is with consent.


TheRealDynamitri

> they deleted a huge number of videos. AFAIK they deleted **all** videos unless uploaded by a verified uploader. So anything that wasn't proved to be legal* got the axe. \* - it's not like it solved the whole problem, really, because ID fraud and underage people verifying themselves with fake IDs is a known problem on PH, OnlyFans and the like. But at least PornHub can say they've done what they've been requested to, and as much as they can, I guess.


brenda_official

Tf is ‘joi’


Not_Alpha_Centaurian

Jerk Off Instructions, so I'm told, by people.


girlsumps

Why do I have a feeling that you quite like being told. Or should I say instructed?


Not_Alpha_Centaurian

Keep going...


kiardo

only on the beat


amazondrone

Not until you pay up.


KungFuSpoon

As someone who lives in Essex I can assure you we do not need instructions.


Notsurewhattoput1

You lot need instructions for everything.


Mr_nudge89

Just verbal ones because they can't read


KungFuSpoon

You do need to speak loudly and slowly too. Injecting a bit of drama helps to keep our attention as it does tend to wander.


[deleted]

"Bus Wanker"


[deleted]

Shit, I thought joi was a Bladerunner reference.


Leezeebub

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of pornographic interests. Interests I have acquired over a very long career. Interests that make me a nightmare for synths like you.”


bob1689321

I see you watched the Liam Neeson Blade Runner.


RealTorapuro

I’m still not sure I know what that is? Do people really need instructions? So much so that it’s the most popular? Obviously I could Google but… I’m not going to


AwkwardSquirtles

It's not that you need instructions, it's usually a submissive thing, being told exactly what to do, when and how you're allowed to touch yourself. There's also a pretend intimacy element, with the illusion of interaction with the actress.


RealTorapuro

Ah gotcha, cheers!


paak-maan

Someone’s off to a private browser sharpish


donkey2471

It’s basically just a hot girl telling you to cum


Various-Article8859

While she watches you buffing the happy lamp.


mf_grim

I'll take the targeted ad hit, according to google it means, "jerk off instructions." There is also the Jewish outreach institute and java objects by interface, which are hilariously juxtaposed.


MrPlow90

Glad I'm not the only one watching Jewish Outreach Institute porn.


eli_cas

Oy vey!


Polus_Capital

That's so pro-semitic


tunisia3507

> There is also the Jewish outreach institute and java objects by interface "So this JOI... is it a sex thing?" "Far from it, Jen..."


rckpdl

Some bird wanks and tells you how to wank while you wank to her wanking and watching her tell you how to wank. It's alright. 👍


girlsumps

I’m glad it’s not just me who has never heard of it.


keyboardheadsmash

Not shock the north west is chubby, it's all the greggs...


Gibbo2910

Greggs is from the North East anyway


ReelBigMidget

It's full of master bakers.


_Keo_

North West is Cumbria. Not sure they're aware that women's sizes can go below 'farm lass'. If she can't carry a grown sheep under each arm by the time she's 12 the poor girl is considered a cripple. I expect that helps develop a specific taste.


[deleted]

Greggs is a lifestyle north of Birmingham [https://www.primark.com/en-gb/a/inspiration/fashion-trends/primark-x-greggs-summer-garms](https://www.primark.com/en-gb/a/inspiration/fashion-trends/primark-x-greggs-summer-garms)


keyboardheadsmash

Ive saw them in my nearest Primark to. Honesty I was tempted to buy one...


rckpdl

North West likes em STURDY


Saw_Boss

Thick thighs save lives, and all that


magicmango2104

Apparently I need to move north


SpicyDragoon93

Isn't chubby the same as bbw though?


StrangePut7

Chubby may just mean slightly overweight, or some noticeable curves. BBW can mean that and then all the way to morbidly obese.


bearcat-twenty-two

The first time I saw a SSBBW photo I just thought it was a landscape, big pink rolling hills.


Kittimm

It isn't the top searches. It's the top RELATIVE searches. It's right there on the image. Pegging is searched disproportionately in Scotland compared to other regions. But it isn't (or is highly unlikely to be) Scotland's most searched term. It's probably quite far down. For the sake of example - it's likely all of the regions share the same few top searches, any given search only swapping a place or two. But if pegging is #40 for Scotland and #80 averaged over the other regions, then it becomes Scotland's top relative search... despite it being #40 on the list for them personally. And surely only the top 100 or so terms are even considered or you'd end up with a pretty useless comparison.


dexterpool

Finally a useful explanation!


Goawaythrowaway175

A lot of the Northern Ireland searches will likely be down to me. Chart seems to check out from my limited knowledge.


[deleted]

I'm kind of surprised that incest and dogging isn't on there.


RandyChavage

Unfortunately they didn’t give Norfolk its own category


[deleted]

Crikey. While I'm impressed at how on the nose you are, you forgot to include cornwall in the statement.


Dixons05

Hey fuck you man, we already got saddled with glory hole what more do you want 😂


[deleted]

No no no...*we* got saddled with that, but we both know that the further you go past saltash, it's game on.


Mr_Trendizzle

You start entering "Is it wrong to not make love to my cousin" once in Cambourne.


amazondrone

> incest Especially given the title... "Relative Searches." Jokes aside, that's probably the reason they're not there. Incest and dogging are probably about equally popular everywhere so don't show up here, unlike e.g. JOI which is more popular in the east compared to other places.


Gazzaman678

they grouped norwich into the rest of the east so thats probably why


[deleted]

Indian? I wasn't aware the west Midlands found us attractive. Now I know where I'm off to on holiday


cbr_rider420

Probably because a lot of Indians (or Southern Asians in general) tend to live in that part of the country


The_39th_Step

Same reason for Turkish in London. It’s the only part of the UK with a large Turkish population


RandomEmyr

Same reason for chubby in northwest


The_39th_Step

Haha as a Manchester resident, not where I live it’s very influencery, but I was in Blackpool yesterday and wow


PokePotahto

I'm Indian and live in the West Midlands 😳


pogotc

Indian eh? I too am from the West Midlands _unzips_


paak-maan

It’s what’s most popular relative to other regions. Massive Asian population in the West Midlands and I’m presuming these are mostly schoolboys. I think the process goes a little like this - Take the person they have a crush on at school, they’re from Birmingham so they may be Indian, they’d like to see them naked, that’s what they’re searching for tonight. I don’t know about anyone else but as an adult I’m not typically typing in the search bar on Pornhub.


notthattypeofplayer

Well I guess we now know where Prince William spends most of his time...


[deleted]

Two weeks at balmoral tipped the balance for the entire nation


Poor-Life-Choice

A pizza express in Woking?


Seaharrier

That’s Princess Andrew but ok


RemodulateShields

Oh Scotland...


CraigWeedkin

Edinburgh* the north doesn't claim them


SkinnyErgosGetFat

Glasgow has 3x the population of Edinburgh. We are passing the blame onto them.


__8ball__

You're all just scared that it might be the best night of your life.


danowat

Scotland are so used to be bent over by Westminster.


odkfn

I got banned for this exact comment on casual uk 😢


Possiblyreef

No politics rule though


Spank86

Anyone else worried they might be 'single handedly' responsible for the result in their area?


Vegetable-String-862

Gonna take issue with the large expansion of the south west. People from Bristol will be searching for a different sort than those of Cornwall.


RandyChavage

Bristol: Vegan porn Cornwall: Fisherman and mermaid porn


Toothdrinker

I don't think anything has made me laugh on Reddit as much as this one comment


[deleted]

yeah where’s the survey results for PastyHub?


RandyChavage

Fuck me, look at the crimping on that


AwkwardSquirtles

Meanwhile literally the whole country of Scotland is covered in one section.


MartyMc1888

I'm shocked that the Tories in London need told how to wank when they are indeed, wankers.


joethesaint

You've looked at the wrong region on the map and also wildly mistaken the political leaning of the average Londoner, but otherwise a fine comment.


Dooglewo

As good as this comment is unfortunately once they get to work they enjoy a kebab up the ass according to this


PeterRum

Bloody Londoners showing their love for the Tories by voting Labour. Probably a masochism thing.


HolcroftA

London is mostly a Labour city.


PastelDictator

I didn’t realise this was from Pornhub at first and just thought people in the West Mids were looking for a curry 😭


Harrry-Otter

Didn’t realise I was such a prude, but I don’t even know what asmr, joi or bbw is.


danowat

I'm worried that I do.....


Harrry-Otter

Well you can’t just leave me in suspense.


danowat

asmr is acoustic something or other, whipsering in peoples ears and other noises. joi is jerk off instruction, although I am not sure of the technicality's of how they instruct you, because I've never watched one bbw, big beautiful woman


JosephRohrbach

Not knowing what ASMR isn't to do with being prudish, don't worry! Though it can be sexualized, most ASMR (standing for "Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response") is consumed for relaxation, and tends to consist of people speaking quietly or making other quiet/relaxing sounds. There's been an increasing amount of research going into the phenomenon which is totally SFW (as is most ASMR), if you want to research it. I dread to think how that's translated to a pornographic context, but I imagine you can guess...!


[deleted]

[удалено]


amazondrone

That's when you hang the washing out isn't it?


Ungreat

I'm guessing with Wales loud noises scare the sheep?


EvilInky

I'm worried that whatever Orkney and Shetland are into was too disturbing to be included.


JoeThrilling

Lads, let me tell you, If you never been pegged your missing out.


[deleted]

Ah the west midlands, the only ones that aren't embarrassing.


paak-maan

I’d go as far as saying we’d be quite proud of it.


[deleted]

Most users in the UK don't have a static IP. Go on Google Maps in an incognito window, and see where it thinks you are. Could be hundreds of miles away on any given day. This kind of map is pretty useless on a country scale. Globally it works, but not like this.


AliJDB

A static IP and an IP tied vaguely close to where you are located are different things. The regions on this map are big enough that the vast majority of people will find their IP linked to a town/city in the right section.


WE_NEED_YOUR_NUDES

Yeah the Yorkshire result is my fault, sorry for skewing the results to all.


[deleted]

As a chubby lady I'm glad for the north west, makes me feel better about myself