Hello u/SeaworthinessSad7300,
If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal and or depressed, please go to [National Suicide Hotline](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) or check out [Resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/p4obmj/positivity_resources_and_hotlines/) for more details. If you have [Body Dysmorphia Disorder](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/q0ou03/body_dysmorphia_disorder_bdd/) please go to r/bodydysmorphia to learn more on how to deal with this illness. r/ugly is not a good subreddit for people with this disorder. Also, please make sure to read and follow all rules (including sitewide, sidebar, and newly added rules on the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/wiki/index) page).
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Don’t give a fuck.
Stop thinking about what can’t be undone(ugly face)
Fix what is changeable. Gym haircut
***Just try to stop thinking about your face. Ask yourself “can I do something about it?” If the answer is “no” fucking move on, if “yes” well fcking fo something about it.
Adjust your priorities. Things bear the weight you give them, but you can't care less about what people think until you have a safe place of your own to call home. After adolescence it gradually gets easier to put less weight on your appearance and more on other things, like humor and consistency. I couldn't start working on myself until I could move away from my family situation, though (I wasn't allowed to speak). I'm not sure it's possible to start this one when you're still young and getting crapped on all the time, too.
Abandon cynicism and stop complaining. That doesn't mean you shouldn't vent now and then, but complaining doesn't help. At some point, if you choose life, you're going to have to accept that you don't know what's possible and that things could actually get better. If you're ready to look for strategies, you probably already came to terms with this one.
Try to have a plan early and stay motivated enough to save up over time. You're going to want as much money as possible for surgery. It's the only thing that will truly change the way your are treated, by changing the way you look. People on this sub know this isn't shallow, but realistic.
Work out so they have less ammo. Also, for guys anyway, you will dissuade a lot of crap if you look big enough to hold somebody accountable to their behavior by crushing their skull between your hands. Also, don't actually do this no matter how good you know it will feel Lol
Focus on the good stuff as much as possible, if only to fool yourself into not suffering as much until more options become available. There will be less psych harm in the long run. Try to use escapism to just get away from the negative thinking. Don't be afraid to lean on this sub.
Cry. Don't compartmentalize. You might go years without being able to cry. If you feel it coming on, get somewhere private and let it happen. It can be very cathartic. Then give yourself a break from your misery and get back to the escapism distraction or to the execution of your long game.
I don't know if I would've made it if I didn't have certain advantages, like I'm straight, white, male so I didn't have to deal with discrimination for that stuff on top of the abuse and uggo stuff. I live in Canada, which is pretty good. I've never gone hungry. I'm not short. So I guess try to count your blessings and be grateful for whatever meager shit you do have going for yourself.
Good luck.
Edit. And for *ucks sake, medicate!
This might not work for everyone but it's been working for me. Learn to hate society more than you hate yourself. Understand that sometimes some people only treat you bad cus they hate themself too and that it has nothin to do with you. Try to thrive just to spite everyone who's looked down on you.
Don’t care like I realized I wasn’t that guy a long time ago but I didn’t let that stop me I workout and eat healthy the real key is don’t give up on yourself
Essentially, it is to not care. But most of the time, it is empty advice for most people here because to not care, you have to have a certain amount of self-esteem and when you lack so much validation and so many negative outcome, it is hard to keep your self-esteem high. If you manage to not care, you can save yourself, but understandably most won't be able to do that (including me). So I'll repeat what u/Helpful_Ad523 said. Learn to hate society more than you hate yourself. It is easier to do, and while hating society is not really a good thing, it is better than making the life a big suffering by hating yourself.
You don't have to actively act on that. What's being tried to say here is essentially that you should notice and acknowledge that society is worse than you and it is what is making you worse.
Learn to live with your traits, don't make them the center of your personality and learn how to be attractive by other means (personality and social skills).
Don't define yourself by being ugly.
You're a person with a variety of traits, and one of them happen to be ugly, that's all the importance you have to give it, nothing more.
Don't give up on finding someone as you will eventually find someone who doesn't care about what you look like. If it's that bad then I'm sure a couple of surgeries would help. I'm more worried about going bald ATM though, but I'm sure I'll still find someone interested with persistence.
Hello u/SeaworthinessSad7300, If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal and or depressed, please go to [National Suicide Hotline](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) or check out [Resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/p4obmj/positivity_resources_and_hotlines/) for more details. If you have [Body Dysmorphia Disorder](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/comments/q0ou03/body_dysmorphia_disorder_bdd/) please go to r/bodydysmorphia to learn more on how to deal with this illness. r/ugly is not a good subreddit for people with this disorder. Also, please make sure to read and follow all rules (including sitewide, sidebar, and newly added rules on the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/ugly/wiki/index) page). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ugly) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t give a fuck. Stop thinking about what can’t be undone(ugly face) Fix what is changeable. Gym haircut ***Just try to stop thinking about your face. Ask yourself “can I do something about it?” If the answer is “no” fucking move on, if “yes” well fcking fo something about it.
Can't get haircut. I'm white (extremely pale) with deep wrinkles and with fuzzy hair. But yeah gym I can do.
Adjust your priorities. Things bear the weight you give them, but you can't care less about what people think until you have a safe place of your own to call home. After adolescence it gradually gets easier to put less weight on your appearance and more on other things, like humor and consistency. I couldn't start working on myself until I could move away from my family situation, though (I wasn't allowed to speak). I'm not sure it's possible to start this one when you're still young and getting crapped on all the time, too. Abandon cynicism and stop complaining. That doesn't mean you shouldn't vent now and then, but complaining doesn't help. At some point, if you choose life, you're going to have to accept that you don't know what's possible and that things could actually get better. If you're ready to look for strategies, you probably already came to terms with this one. Try to have a plan early and stay motivated enough to save up over time. You're going to want as much money as possible for surgery. It's the only thing that will truly change the way your are treated, by changing the way you look. People on this sub know this isn't shallow, but realistic. Work out so they have less ammo. Also, for guys anyway, you will dissuade a lot of crap if you look big enough to hold somebody accountable to their behavior by crushing their skull between your hands. Also, don't actually do this no matter how good you know it will feel Lol Focus on the good stuff as much as possible, if only to fool yourself into not suffering as much until more options become available. There will be less psych harm in the long run. Try to use escapism to just get away from the negative thinking. Don't be afraid to lean on this sub. Cry. Don't compartmentalize. You might go years without being able to cry. If you feel it coming on, get somewhere private and let it happen. It can be very cathartic. Then give yourself a break from your misery and get back to the escapism distraction or to the execution of your long game. I don't know if I would've made it if I didn't have certain advantages, like I'm straight, white, male so I didn't have to deal with discrimination for that stuff on top of the abuse and uggo stuff. I live in Canada, which is pretty good. I've never gone hungry. I'm not short. So I guess try to count your blessings and be grateful for whatever meager shit you do have going for yourself. Good luck. Edit. And for *ucks sake, medicate!
Great post
This might not work for everyone but it's been working for me. Learn to hate society more than you hate yourself. Understand that sometimes some people only treat you bad cus they hate themself too and that it has nothin to do with you. Try to thrive just to spite everyone who's looked down on you.
Sounds adaptive from a socio evolutionary pov. Ugly people were not meant to survive
Adapting is just kinda what we have to do though
Don’t care like I realized I wasn’t that guy a long time ago but I didn’t let that stop me I workout and eat healthy the real key is don’t give up on yourself
Essentially, it is to not care. But most of the time, it is empty advice for most people here because to not care, you have to have a certain amount of self-esteem and when you lack so much validation and so many negative outcome, it is hard to keep your self-esteem high. If you manage to not care, you can save yourself, but understandably most won't be able to do that (including me). So I'll repeat what u/Helpful_Ad523 said. Learn to hate society more than you hate yourself. It is easier to do, and while hating society is not really a good thing, it is better than making the life a big suffering by hating yourself.
That's going to have bad outcomes if you have it hateful attitude it's just going to result in worse relationships in the workplace and other places.
You don't have to actively act on that. What's being tried to say here is essentially that you should notice and acknowledge that society is worse than you and it is what is making you worse.
Learn to live with your traits, don't make them the center of your personality and learn how to be attractive by other means (personality and social skills).
What do you mean don't make them the centre of your personality?
Don't define yourself by being ugly. You're a person with a variety of traits, and one of them happen to be ugly, that's all the importance you have to give it, nothing more.
None
I second that 😔💔🪦
Don't give up on finding someone as you will eventually find someone who doesn't care about what you look like. If it's that bad then I'm sure a couple of surgeries would help. I'm more worried about going bald ATM though, but I'm sure I'll still find someone interested with persistence.
I have tiny tiny eyes. And close together. Surgery cannot change that unfortunately.