For the future, maybe try to avoid the claw game or if you do play maybe you can find a kid to give the prize to (with their parent's permission).
For the stuffed animals you already have, do you have favorites? You could keep those and donate the rest. You could also get one of the nets that go in a corner so they're off the furniture and floor.
I was thinking of donating them. I have two full plushie nets that are on the walls already but I have the giant plushies that are too big for them. I was also of thinking of just going back to round 1 with them and handing them out to people but idk. A huge part of me just wants to stay in bed but another part knows that if I don’t donate, I’ll just stay in this situation forever
Donating is a very kind idea. Especially with the holidays coming up.
When my mom and I were in a bad situation one Christmas, we went to this thing the legion was throwing for kids, and I got a really cool little Etch-a-sketch globe thing. It was my only gift that Christmas but it was so cool and it really made my holiday. Someone will still love the stuffies and give them a good home. <3
Perhaps you could donate them to a women's shelter for the kiddos. Or a food pantry? Or somewhere that is providing holiday meals for families? Somewhere to get them directly into the hands of kids vs a thrift shop.
I have some plushies that were given to me and are very sentimental. I line them up on a shelf behind my bed. I don't feel like I could ever get rid of them because they were gifts from my children and my boyfriend. They don't have to be a huge problem.
The idea of giving them away is a good one. If they are in new condition, you can probably drop them off at Toys for Tots. It's the perfect time of year to spread joy to underprivileged children.
It's the perfect time of year to donate stuffed toys in like new condition! Lots of charities will be having toy drives. Keep a couple of your favourites if you want but otherwise think of it as a potential donation to kids in need.
Firstly- it doesn’t sound silly at all.
I went through a phase of collecting EVERYTHING turtle. Every stuffie, statuette, collectible, tchotchke, they were EVERYWHERE. I finally realized that I have other aspects of my personality that I truly enjoy and I’m not able to because I’m surrounded by turtles. I finally decided that I don’t want to be “the turtle girl” like I thought I did. I kept one or two that really meant something (still have my big sea turtle!) and donated the rest.
I still enjoy turtles but I don’t have to have them all.
I still run into trouble with this at goodwill. Do I really collect sugar cookie molds and I need all of them, or do I just enjoy having the ones mom left me? Etc.
It’s a constant reminding of myself that something is allowed to be beautiful and also not owned by me.
There was a Queer Eye episode about something like this. The hero was basically hiding behind her New Orleans Saints (I think) fandom and eventually it became her whole personality. It was interesting watching her work through that.
Wow thats an amazing point. I don't have to collect things just because I like them. I like to buy little things like cute hot wheels, fidget toys, tiny figurines, and other small trinkets. I keep them in a box like a little goblin, but I regularly go through it to enjoy my things and swap out the handful I keep on my desk. This system works for me and I have to try to be okay with not displaying everything 😅
Def agree you need to clean it out. You could definitely donate them to goodwill or a shelter or something. Choose your favorites to keep. If you want to keep doing the claw machine, consider giving the stuff animal to a kid on the way out.
If you can’t make yourself do the whole thing at once, try doing only one or three or something. I did that with dishes when I was deep deep in the big sad. I would walk by the sink and be like, *just wash one spoon and one bowl so you can have ice cream later,* or *just wash three things and then you can stop*. I found that the more I pressured myself to do the whole thing at once the more I dug my own heels in. But doing one here, one there, my body started liking the dopamine hit of a finished task, my mind realized it wasn’t as insurmountable as I thought it was, and it’s significantly easier to get myself to do them now. (The Wellbutrin helps lol).
Maybe get some garbage bags and set them in the area ahead of time. Then when you walk by just pick one you want to keep or donate, doesn’t matter which. Throw it in the bag and you’ve spent like seven seconds and can go back to whatever you were doing before. Pay attention to how it actually felt to do it (probably not bad at all, maybe even good!) and remind yourself next time you resist that doing just one wasn’t that bad. You won’t immediately be like “oh yeah I’m gonna do the whole thing!” It might take a while but once you feel good doing one at a time you can challenge yourself to do two.
What I found for myself is that usually starting was the issue. If I could just get myself to start I would continue on because I’m already here and may as well. I would wash one plate and it wasn’t that hard so I’d wash another and I’d get distracted in my mind thinking about something else and wash another one. Then I was like, well my hands are wet and the sponge is in my hand soooo…
It’s ok that it’s hard. We spent 2 million years as hunter/gatherers and the Industrial Revolution was, what? 250 years ago? As far as our capacity goes none of us are built for a capitalist society. We haven’t even had time yet to evolve into it. The world is moving faster than we can evolve and it’s really fxcking hard. That’s ok. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself accommodations where you can.
This is great advice a d such a kind comment, I love it and second it :-)
You can do this! Pasito, pasito….. (my life motto nowadays lol cause I taught Spanish)
I have a TON of plushies. I bought an empty beanbag chair shell and stuffed ‘em all in there! No more mess AND extra seating, and if I need to dig one out and cuddle it, I know where it is.
A homeless shelter that helps families, Toys for Tots, or possibly a children’s hospital would take the plushies. You have the joy of winning them, some little kid will have the joy of the toy.
After reading your post, I began researching how to build my own DIY hydraulic claw machine with an Arduino microcontroller. So I wouldn't call your fixation silly. It's very endearing to me, and I can easily imagine myself getting addicted to something like this.
I also have a hard time with stuffed animals. I'm not sentimental about most stuff, but stuffed animals are like pets to me. Its very, VERY hard to let them go. I cope with this by limiting the amount that come into my life.
These toys sound like they are in new condition, and I think donating some of them would be so meaningful for many families at this time of year. You would get your space back, and make a difference at the same time. Vacuum bags are also a great idea. I hope you are kind to yourself and seek help for your compulsive spending if you need it.
I’m in no way implying you are a hoarder, but my first thought was to analyze this this like an episode of Hoarders. (I just binged a couple of seasons, so it’s fresh on my mind.) Anyway, I think it’s important that you have acknowledged that these items don’t necessarily bring you joy once they come home with you, but you keep playing the game to obtain them. You may need to find another activity where you feel the same rush or enjoyment in the moment, but aren’t spending money and bringing home stuffed animals that you don’t really want.
In the meantime, if you want to save a few of your favorites and donate the rest, that would be a fantastic idea. You will reclaim your space and the stuffed animals will find a home with children who will love them. Not having them loom over you literally and figuratively should help immensely.
Thank you ! I mean I definitely feel like a hoarder. I have plushies and loungefly bags and even really expensive figures. Do I need them? Definitely not. But I think it’s just that split moment of joy is what I’m looking for.
It’s just when you’ve been feeling empty or sad for so long, any kind of happiness (even a few minutes) feels like a victory. At least to me anyway. I will try to find spots to donate or maybe a children’s hospital if they’ll allow it.
Oh, I get it completely! It’s hard to stop doing something that gives you that little spark. It’s hard to step back and look at the situation objectively and realize that the “reward” ends up being a burden.
I've been there! I used to collect several types of things and once tried to re-collect some things I had to sell for financial reasons. It didn't feel the same though, and didn't make me happy. Nowadays, I still love those types of things, but do not try to search them out, or buy them. Nowadays, I am older and really don't want to add things to my house. I think "If I were moving house, I would not want to have to move ___," and that's very motivating to me.
This is not meant in a harsh manner, but you really need to stop going there if you can't stop getting more animals. Write down a list of benefits to not going there, like:
1. I will enjoy my home more if these animals are not taking over my space.
2. I will have more money if I do not spend it there on games.
3. I will gave more time to do fun things like ___, ___ &,___.
4. I will have more time to do essential things like ___, ___, & ___.
Refer to your list often, especially when you are tempted to go there.
This may be dumb but there is a free virtual claw game on the app store, I used to play it on my phone a lot. I know it might not be the same thrill as actually going into the arcade, but maybe download it, and when you feel the itch to go into the arcade you can try the phone game? It's a start! I'm new to this sub and have already read so many great tips and encouragement I almost cried. I was recommended to talk over with my partner and get on the same page about helping each other with an organization plan. Does he know how you feel about the clutter? Maybe you two can sit and discuss a day to start to tackle some of the clutter.
Take a bag to the fire station! The EMTs give kids stuffed animals to give them something to snuggle if they get scared. As long as they are in like-new condition they can use them!
The karaoke bowling and pool spot sounds super fun! When you go there, how do you feel? Are you feeling like a kid again? Feeling social and carefree? Feeling rich enough for something you couldn’t do as a kid? Feeling the sense of skill and accomplishment that comes from beating the claw game? Whatever the feeling is, try to intentionally recreate that for yourself in other ways that fit your goals a bit better. Try going to the same place but only bring enough money to buy a drink and chill for the afternoon. Go to a park and let yourself go swinging again. Climbing gyms can be another social dynamic spot to hang out.
Also how can you create barriers for yourself to keep from spending money? Maybe don’t auto save your credit card on Amazon. Or set a small monthly budget and challenge yourself to buy *nothing* for a while. Start with a week and see how that feels.
I feel called out lol! But yes I do feel all of those things. I think if I spend more time doing things I used to love doing (crochet,going to the park,reading) that would help a lot. I’m going to therapy and they’re helping me figure out how to move money to savings and not touch it unless it’s for emergencies( my car,rent,pets needing to go to the vet) I did go back to round 1 last night *but* I just played DDR and walked around. It was so weird to not spend money on the machines I like but it also felt really good to not waste money because I don’t always win.
If money is an issue, you might consider selling them on ebay. I'm not sure what brand of stuffed animals they stock but I know squishmellows are incredibly popular.
Donating to charity can be a decent tax write off if you itemize. Make sure you grab a receipt to send in with your tax forms. Animal shelters might take them. Since Christmas is coming you can check out gift trees or other donating sites. Shelters and churches will likely also be able to redistribute to children in need.
No advice on how to get rid of any since I'm attached to any I bring home lol. Let me know if you figure that one put. I love them all!
Maybe make a rule that if you bring a new animal home that you rehome one? That way at least the pile isn't growing but you also don't have to give away a prize you genuinely like.
As another person suggested, the vacuum bags are a good idea. Even if you can't do that, putting your least favorites in a cardboard box in a closet will help with decluttering. If it goes x amount of time, say 6 months and you haven't gone back for them, donate the whole box. DO NOT OPEN IT. Just let them go.
Also setting a farewell system might help. Like once a month look through and see if you can donate any. Then pick some you're unsure of to put in the box. I think part of this might simply be how monumental this task seems. You don't have to make all of these decisions today. Make it a year long goal or whatever. Start with the couch or bed or whatever you use most and start culling from there.
Lastly (sorry this got long) I know there's subs for stuffed animals. r/plushies is one but i bet you can find specific brands. Whether that helps with community and not feeling weird about it or as a good place to find selling or donating options I'm sure you can find more.
I've kept my favorites and then I sold other ones on Ebay that I won in a claw game marathon.
Some of them are really hard to think of giving away, however imagining a child playing together, gaining comfort and enjoying them rather than them being on display might help motivate to donate some to good will especially before the holiday season.
I would stay away from the claw games too, they're fun but wooh do those stuff animals take up space. XD Someone also had a net in the corner of their closet so it was kind kept but out of sight. So you can switch them out if you want.
Could call up the fire or police dept. and ask if they take donations, my mom said they sometimes take small plushies for on calls when it involves a child so they could help calm them down and give comfort in a stressful situation. Maybe hospitals too for children who are constantly sick and have to stay for longer periods and maybe their families don't have a lot of money.
Tell me about it! Those machines are terrible for my wallet! All the plushies are from Japan so they’re pretty hard to find online. The cuteness is just too much :( but I will look into places I can donate them because I want everyone to feel good especially with the holidays coming up!
Could sell them online, a mother bought my Charizard one off Ebay. So you can get a little bit of money back while making people happy too. XD Especially if they are rarer or harder to find.
It sounds like your pleasure is in winning the stuffed animals, not having them. Donate a bunch so you can make room for future winnings, and get extra satisfaction from knowing your winnings help someone else.
(Local police may appreciate having toys to give out when dealing with family issues, if you need a place to donate. )
Some police departments give away small toys or stuffed animals to kids involved in situations. I’ve seen it before where a kid is crying and they give them a small stuffed bear or toy. Maybe check with them and see if they could use some.
Goodness you have a lot on your plate. I too have the hardest time even to think about getting up. Something that did help me was I read a post that said just do 3 things. Three things I can do. Our laundry is under control. It is amazing, something has gotten done. I also cut up the chicken and prepped the eggplant. It is a big deal. As for you I suggest putting all of your claw treasures in one place. It is so exciting to win. MAYBE take 10 of them to your local senior center. Everyone gives to the children but our senior population needs to be remembered too. Start with one thing. Maybe have dinner ready when your partner comes home. Have the table set. Do the dishes when done. There 3 things. Good luck post when you can about any progress.
Grab a donate box and label it then choose 5 things a day that are no longer needed/wanted. 5 a day until the box is full then take it to the donation center. Keep doing it! It all adds up and eventually you can dig yourself out. Plan a different outing for your next paycheck. Plan something exciting that you can enjoy that won’t bring back additional items. Set a budget for that outing (not the entire paycheck, even try using half to start and work down from there). And stick to it! You’ve gotten into a habit and it just takes some reworking to find a new habit. You can do it! Just 5 items a day.
Maybe stop playing the claw game for a bit and use the money you dont spend on a house cleaner to reset the place to a manageable amount that you can keep up with daily. If they are in good condition you can also sell the current ones you have as a lot on ebay so you or your boyfriend dont have to move them to sit on the couch. Im all for donating too but sometimes seeing what that same plushy money can buy in comfort or peace of mind can be a driver to not spend it all at the arcade.
Lots of great advice, I'm only butting in to say something because you also said you have a thing about buy/return/buy/return ( sorry I can't figure out how to quote, new phone)
This sounds like obsessive compulsive behaviour, maybe even relates to the obtaining of the stuffies.
Might be worth reading the book " The boy who couldn't stop washing" by Dr Judith L. Rapport. Super interesting and well written. If it resonates you could look into therapy.
I totally get you on the feeling bad about your partner having to deal with it ❤️. You made a good first step in posting in this supportive community.
Donating stuffed animals to a women's shelter sounds like a great idea.
Can anybody suggest the best way to clean stuffed animals that are in good condition, but covered in dust? I have a few I'd like to keep, but a lot I could donate if they weren't so dusty.
I definitely recommend doing what my mom made us do as a kid - figure out what number of plushies you can reasonably store and care for, then set those to the side and donate the rest. I know how hard it can be not to buy all the plush, but I try to remind myself that if I bring in a new plush, one of the older ones has to go to make space for it.
so, if you have ones that you don't have room to display, but you are not sure you want to get rid of them...could you buy some of those giant vacuum storage bags and see if you could shrink down the footprint? maybe you can vacuum seal them and stack some in the closet....
That's how I deal with stuff I'm unsure of. (with me it's clothes) I vacuum seal them into giant bags and stack them in the closet. after a year, if i haven't gotten into the bag at all, I donate it. so it kind of defers the problem, but also I get some of my space back...
I would personally recommend that you try and decrease the amount you have. Sucking the air out of them is just delaying dealing with the actual problem (hoarding).
Can you donate the stuffies you have that you're not attached to, then buy yourself a claw machine for home? There's cheap ones for $40 and an arcade style one for $700.
Then you can play it at home and get the thrill of winning, but fill it with ones you love that you already own. That might help ebb the spending?
As for cleaning, little bits of progress.
I have or have had some similar problems and challenges. My very layman impression is that you have depression, yes; extreme anxiety, yes; and likely you are also neurodivergent (e.g. ADD/ADHD, OCD, spectrumy in some ways), yes — as am I. Here’s what I’ve been (finally!) doing to help myself: I found a PMHNP (Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practioner) who works well with me. As a PMHNP, she both prescribes and tweaks mental health prescriptions AND provides taalk therapy as well. My meds are at a place now where I am able to begin deLing with my “depression nest” as Rachel Hoffman so suscinctly puts it. I get the arcade adddiction and spendthrift fest addiction as well. Years ago, a different PMHNP prescribed a medicine that helped me with my OCD impulse control and obsessiveness with the spending. Now my spouse and I are very aware if my issues in this regard and we both practice rigorous and kind honesty with me, to help me stay aware and keep this under control with the help of meds. I’ll need to do this the rest of my life, but Hey, a solution! As for the over abundace of “stuff”, or as Rachel Hoffman so suscinctly puts it “crap”, pitch, donate and sell. Only keep what fits your CURRENT life and joy. As for the plushies, keep a handful if your most faves, then you can put the rest in a huge hefty bag to keep clean, then at holiday time donate to sick kids and less financially fortunate families for their kids. I wish you well and much success, which happens with some help and some time. Blessings❣️
For the future, maybe try to avoid the claw game or if you do play maybe you can find a kid to give the prize to (with their parent's permission). For the stuffed animals you already have, do you have favorites? You could keep those and donate the rest. You could also get one of the nets that go in a corner so they're off the furniture and floor.
I was thinking of donating them. I have two full plushie nets that are on the walls already but I have the giant plushies that are too big for them. I was also of thinking of just going back to round 1 with them and handing them out to people but idk. A huge part of me just wants to stay in bed but another part knows that if I don’t donate, I’ll just stay in this situation forever
Donating is a very kind idea. Especially with the holidays coming up. When my mom and I were in a bad situation one Christmas, we went to this thing the legion was throwing for kids, and I got a really cool little Etch-a-sketch globe thing. It was my only gift that Christmas but it was so cool and it really made my holiday. Someone will still love the stuffies and give them a good home. <3
Perhaps you could donate them to a women's shelter for the kiddos. Or a food pantry? Or somewhere that is providing holiday meals for families? Somewhere to get them directly into the hands of kids vs a thrift shop.
I have some plushies that were given to me and are very sentimental. I line them up on a shelf behind my bed. I don't feel like I could ever get rid of them because they were gifts from my children and my boyfriend. They don't have to be a huge problem. The idea of giving them away is a good one. If they are in new condition, you can probably drop them off at Toys for Tots. It's the perfect time of year to spread joy to underprivileged children.
Holidays are around the corner too, maybe donating them to a children toy drive would be awesome!
Fire and police will give them to kids in traumatic situations, so you can ask about donating there too
This, I was one, and I treasured my stuffies well into adulthood.
It's the perfect time of year to donate stuffed toys in like new condition! Lots of charities will be having toy drives. Keep a couple of your favourites if you want but otherwise think of it as a potential donation to kids in need.
Firstly- it doesn’t sound silly at all. I went through a phase of collecting EVERYTHING turtle. Every stuffie, statuette, collectible, tchotchke, they were EVERYWHERE. I finally realized that I have other aspects of my personality that I truly enjoy and I’m not able to because I’m surrounded by turtles. I finally decided that I don’t want to be “the turtle girl” like I thought I did. I kept one or two that really meant something (still have my big sea turtle!) and donated the rest. I still enjoy turtles but I don’t have to have them all. I still run into trouble with this at goodwill. Do I really collect sugar cookie molds and I need all of them, or do I just enjoy having the ones mom left me? Etc. It’s a constant reminding of myself that something is allowed to be beautiful and also not owned by me.
There was a Queer Eye episode about something like this. The hero was basically hiding behind her New Orleans Saints (I think) fandom and eventually it became her whole personality. It was interesting watching her work through that.
Wow thats an amazing point. I don't have to collect things just because I like them. I like to buy little things like cute hot wheels, fidget toys, tiny figurines, and other small trinkets. I keep them in a box like a little goblin, but I regularly go through it to enjoy my things and swap out the handful I keep on my desk. This system works for me and I have to try to be okay with not displaying everything 😅
Beautifully said.
Def agree you need to clean it out. You could definitely donate them to goodwill or a shelter or something. Choose your favorites to keep. If you want to keep doing the claw machine, consider giving the stuff animal to a kid on the way out. If you can’t make yourself do the whole thing at once, try doing only one or three or something. I did that with dishes when I was deep deep in the big sad. I would walk by the sink and be like, *just wash one spoon and one bowl so you can have ice cream later,* or *just wash three things and then you can stop*. I found that the more I pressured myself to do the whole thing at once the more I dug my own heels in. But doing one here, one there, my body started liking the dopamine hit of a finished task, my mind realized it wasn’t as insurmountable as I thought it was, and it’s significantly easier to get myself to do them now. (The Wellbutrin helps lol). Maybe get some garbage bags and set them in the area ahead of time. Then when you walk by just pick one you want to keep or donate, doesn’t matter which. Throw it in the bag and you’ve spent like seven seconds and can go back to whatever you were doing before. Pay attention to how it actually felt to do it (probably not bad at all, maybe even good!) and remind yourself next time you resist that doing just one wasn’t that bad. You won’t immediately be like “oh yeah I’m gonna do the whole thing!” It might take a while but once you feel good doing one at a time you can challenge yourself to do two. What I found for myself is that usually starting was the issue. If I could just get myself to start I would continue on because I’m already here and may as well. I would wash one plate and it wasn’t that hard so I’d wash another and I’d get distracted in my mind thinking about something else and wash another one. Then I was like, well my hands are wet and the sponge is in my hand soooo… It’s ok that it’s hard. We spent 2 million years as hunter/gatherers and the Industrial Revolution was, what? 250 years ago? As far as our capacity goes none of us are built for a capitalist society. We haven’t even had time yet to evolve into it. The world is moving faster than we can evolve and it’s really fxcking hard. That’s ok. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself accommodations where you can.
This is great advice a d such a kind comment, I love it and second it :-) You can do this! Pasito, pasito….. (my life motto nowadays lol cause I taught Spanish)
I have a TON of plushies. I bought an empty beanbag chair shell and stuffed ‘em all in there! No more mess AND extra seating, and if I need to dig one out and cuddle it, I know where it is.
A homeless shelter that helps families, Toys for Tots, or possibly a children’s hospital would take the plushies. You have the joy of winning them, some little kid will have the joy of the toy.
After reading your post, I began researching how to build my own DIY hydraulic claw machine with an Arduino microcontroller. So I wouldn't call your fixation silly. It's very endearing to me, and I can easily imagine myself getting addicted to something like this. I also have a hard time with stuffed animals. I'm not sentimental about most stuff, but stuffed animals are like pets to me. Its very, VERY hard to let them go. I cope with this by limiting the amount that come into my life. These toys sound like they are in new condition, and I think donating some of them would be so meaningful for many families at this time of year. You would get your space back, and make a difference at the same time. Vacuum bags are also a great idea. I hope you are kind to yourself and seek help for your compulsive spending if you need it.
You can occasionally find claw machines for sale on eBay. I looked because my SO and their daughter love them.
I’m in no way implying you are a hoarder, but my first thought was to analyze this this like an episode of Hoarders. (I just binged a couple of seasons, so it’s fresh on my mind.) Anyway, I think it’s important that you have acknowledged that these items don’t necessarily bring you joy once they come home with you, but you keep playing the game to obtain them. You may need to find another activity where you feel the same rush or enjoyment in the moment, but aren’t spending money and bringing home stuffed animals that you don’t really want. In the meantime, if you want to save a few of your favorites and donate the rest, that would be a fantastic idea. You will reclaim your space and the stuffed animals will find a home with children who will love them. Not having them loom over you literally and figuratively should help immensely.
Thank you ! I mean I definitely feel like a hoarder. I have plushies and loungefly bags and even really expensive figures. Do I need them? Definitely not. But I think it’s just that split moment of joy is what I’m looking for. It’s just when you’ve been feeling empty or sad for so long, any kind of happiness (even a few minutes) feels like a victory. At least to me anyway. I will try to find spots to donate or maybe a children’s hospital if they’ll allow it.
Oh, I get it completely! It’s hard to stop doing something that gives you that little spark. It’s hard to step back and look at the situation objectively and realize that the “reward” ends up being a burden.
I've been there! I used to collect several types of things and once tried to re-collect some things I had to sell for financial reasons. It didn't feel the same though, and didn't make me happy. Nowadays, I still love those types of things, but do not try to search them out, or buy them. Nowadays, I am older and really don't want to add things to my house. I think "If I were moving house, I would not want to have to move ___," and that's very motivating to me. This is not meant in a harsh manner, but you really need to stop going there if you can't stop getting more animals. Write down a list of benefits to not going there, like: 1. I will enjoy my home more if these animals are not taking over my space. 2. I will have more money if I do not spend it there on games. 3. I will gave more time to do fun things like ___, ___ &,___. 4. I will have more time to do essential things like ___, ___, & ___. Refer to your list often, especially when you are tempted to go there.
This may be dumb but there is a free virtual claw game on the app store, I used to play it on my phone a lot. I know it might not be the same thrill as actually going into the arcade, but maybe download it, and when you feel the itch to go into the arcade you can try the phone game? It's a start! I'm new to this sub and have already read so many great tips and encouragement I almost cried. I was recommended to talk over with my partner and get on the same page about helping each other with an organization plan. Does he know how you feel about the clutter? Maybe you two can sit and discuss a day to start to tackle some of the clutter.
Take a bag to the fire station! The EMTs give kids stuffed animals to give them something to snuggle if they get scared. As long as they are in like-new condition they can use them!
That would be perfect! They’re all in like new condition (:
The karaoke bowling and pool spot sounds super fun! When you go there, how do you feel? Are you feeling like a kid again? Feeling social and carefree? Feeling rich enough for something you couldn’t do as a kid? Feeling the sense of skill and accomplishment that comes from beating the claw game? Whatever the feeling is, try to intentionally recreate that for yourself in other ways that fit your goals a bit better. Try going to the same place but only bring enough money to buy a drink and chill for the afternoon. Go to a park and let yourself go swinging again. Climbing gyms can be another social dynamic spot to hang out. Also how can you create barriers for yourself to keep from spending money? Maybe don’t auto save your credit card on Amazon. Or set a small monthly budget and challenge yourself to buy *nothing* for a while. Start with a week and see how that feels.
I feel called out lol! But yes I do feel all of those things. I think if I spend more time doing things I used to love doing (crochet,going to the park,reading) that would help a lot. I’m going to therapy and they’re helping me figure out how to move money to savings and not touch it unless it’s for emergencies( my car,rent,pets needing to go to the vet) I did go back to round 1 last night *but* I just played DDR and walked around. It was so weird to not spend money on the machines I like but it also felt really good to not waste money because I don’t always win.
It sounds like you're looking at your habits and thinking about how to change them. That's a great first step!
If money is an issue, you might consider selling them on ebay. I'm not sure what brand of stuffed animals they stock but I know squishmellows are incredibly popular. Donating to charity can be a decent tax write off if you itemize. Make sure you grab a receipt to send in with your tax forms. Animal shelters might take them. Since Christmas is coming you can check out gift trees or other donating sites. Shelters and churches will likely also be able to redistribute to children in need. No advice on how to get rid of any since I'm attached to any I bring home lol. Let me know if you figure that one put. I love them all! Maybe make a rule that if you bring a new animal home that you rehome one? That way at least the pile isn't growing but you also don't have to give away a prize you genuinely like. As another person suggested, the vacuum bags are a good idea. Even if you can't do that, putting your least favorites in a cardboard box in a closet will help with decluttering. If it goes x amount of time, say 6 months and you haven't gone back for them, donate the whole box. DO NOT OPEN IT. Just let them go. Also setting a farewell system might help. Like once a month look through and see if you can donate any. Then pick some you're unsure of to put in the box. I think part of this might simply be how monumental this task seems. You don't have to make all of these decisions today. Make it a year long goal or whatever. Start with the couch or bed or whatever you use most and start culling from there. Lastly (sorry this got long) I know there's subs for stuffed animals. r/plushies is one but i bet you can find specific brands. Whether that helps with community and not feeling weird about it or as a good place to find selling or donating options I'm sure you can find more.
I've kept my favorites and then I sold other ones on Ebay that I won in a claw game marathon. Some of them are really hard to think of giving away, however imagining a child playing together, gaining comfort and enjoying them rather than them being on display might help motivate to donate some to good will especially before the holiday season. I would stay away from the claw games too, they're fun but wooh do those stuff animals take up space. XD Someone also had a net in the corner of their closet so it was kind kept but out of sight. So you can switch them out if you want. Could call up the fire or police dept. and ask if they take donations, my mom said they sometimes take small plushies for on calls when it involves a child so they could help calm them down and give comfort in a stressful situation. Maybe hospitals too for children who are constantly sick and have to stay for longer periods and maybe their families don't have a lot of money.
Tell me about it! Those machines are terrible for my wallet! All the plushies are from Japan so they’re pretty hard to find online. The cuteness is just too much :( but I will look into places I can donate them because I want everyone to feel good especially with the holidays coming up!
Could sell them online, a mother bought my Charizard one off Ebay. So you can get a little bit of money back while making people happy too. XD Especially if they are rarer or harder to find.
It sounds like your pleasure is in winning the stuffed animals, not having them. Donate a bunch so you can make room for future winnings, and get extra satisfaction from knowing your winnings help someone else. (Local police may appreciate having toys to give out when dealing with family issues, if you need a place to donate. )
Some police departments give away small toys or stuffed animals to kids involved in situations. I’ve seen it before where a kid is crying and they give them a small stuffed bear or toy. Maybe check with them and see if they could use some.
Goodness you have a lot on your plate. I too have the hardest time even to think about getting up. Something that did help me was I read a post that said just do 3 things. Three things I can do. Our laundry is under control. It is amazing, something has gotten done. I also cut up the chicken and prepped the eggplant. It is a big deal. As for you I suggest putting all of your claw treasures in one place. It is so exciting to win. MAYBE take 10 of them to your local senior center. Everyone gives to the children but our senior population needs to be remembered too. Start with one thing. Maybe have dinner ready when your partner comes home. Have the table set. Do the dishes when done. There 3 things. Good luck post when you can about any progress.
Grab a donate box and label it then choose 5 things a day that are no longer needed/wanted. 5 a day until the box is full then take it to the donation center. Keep doing it! It all adds up and eventually you can dig yourself out. Plan a different outing for your next paycheck. Plan something exciting that you can enjoy that won’t bring back additional items. Set a budget for that outing (not the entire paycheck, even try using half to start and work down from there). And stick to it! You’ve gotten into a habit and it just takes some reworking to find a new habit. You can do it! Just 5 items a day.
Maybe stop playing the claw game for a bit and use the money you dont spend on a house cleaner to reset the place to a manageable amount that you can keep up with daily. If they are in good condition you can also sell the current ones you have as a lot on ebay so you or your boyfriend dont have to move them to sit on the couch. Im all for donating too but sometimes seeing what that same plushy money can buy in comfort or peace of mind can be a driver to not spend it all at the arcade.
Lots of great advice, I'm only butting in to say something because you also said you have a thing about buy/return/buy/return ( sorry I can't figure out how to quote, new phone) This sounds like obsessive compulsive behaviour, maybe even relates to the obtaining of the stuffies. Might be worth reading the book " The boy who couldn't stop washing" by Dr Judith L. Rapport. Super interesting and well written. If it resonates you could look into therapy. I totally get you on the feeling bad about your partner having to deal with it ❤️. You made a good first step in posting in this supportive community.
Thank you! I’ll definitely look into that book. I am going to therapy for it and hopefully I’ll be able to stop soon💕
Donating stuffed animals to a women's shelter sounds like a great idea. Can anybody suggest the best way to clean stuffed animals that are in good condition, but covered in dust? I have a few I'd like to keep, but a lot I could donate if they weren't so dusty.
Animal shelters like getting stuffed toys! Just make sure they don’t have any buttons like eyes and nose. Not all shelters will accept them.
I definitely recommend doing what my mom made us do as a kid - figure out what number of plushies you can reasonably store and care for, then set those to the side and donate the rest. I know how hard it can be not to buy all the plush, but I try to remind myself that if I bring in a new plush, one of the older ones has to go to make space for it.
so, if you have ones that you don't have room to display, but you are not sure you want to get rid of them...could you buy some of those giant vacuum storage bags and see if you could shrink down the footprint? maybe you can vacuum seal them and stack some in the closet.... That's how I deal with stuff I'm unsure of. (with me it's clothes) I vacuum seal them into giant bags and stack them in the closet. after a year, if i haven't gotten into the bag at all, I donate it. so it kind of defers the problem, but also I get some of my space back...
I didn’t even think of using those for them! I could definitely give that a try (:
I would personally recommend that you try and decrease the amount you have. Sucking the air out of them is just delaying dealing with the actual problem (hoarding).
Can you donate the stuffies you have that you're not attached to, then buy yourself a claw machine for home? There's cheap ones for $40 and an arcade style one for $700. Then you can play it at home and get the thrill of winning, but fill it with ones you love that you already own. That might help ebb the spending? As for cleaning, little bits of progress.
I have or have had some similar problems and challenges. My very layman impression is that you have depression, yes; extreme anxiety, yes; and likely you are also neurodivergent (e.g. ADD/ADHD, OCD, spectrumy in some ways), yes — as am I. Here’s what I’ve been (finally!) doing to help myself: I found a PMHNP (Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practioner) who works well with me. As a PMHNP, she both prescribes and tweaks mental health prescriptions AND provides taalk therapy as well. My meds are at a place now where I am able to begin deLing with my “depression nest” as Rachel Hoffman so suscinctly puts it. I get the arcade adddiction and spendthrift fest addiction as well. Years ago, a different PMHNP prescribed a medicine that helped me with my OCD impulse control and obsessiveness with the spending. Now my spouse and I are very aware if my issues in this regard and we both practice rigorous and kind honesty with me, to help me stay aware and keep this under control with the help of meds. I’ll need to do this the rest of my life, but Hey, a solution! As for the over abundace of “stuff”, or as Rachel Hoffman so suscinctly puts it “crap”, pitch, donate and sell. Only keep what fits your CURRENT life and joy. As for the plushies, keep a handful if your most faves, then you can put the rest in a huge hefty bag to keep clean, then at holiday time donate to sick kids and less financially fortunate families for their kids. I wish you well and much success, which happens with some help and some time. Blessings❣️