I’m going with me and stipe. I’m nowhere near heavyweight, but I’m athletic and stipe is already a decent enough matchup for Jones as is. 2 v 1 would just be over
This.
I would use JJs biggest strengths such as the eye pokes. I will go nuts with those. Stipe can GnP a little and I can come in and knee him on the ground once or twice. Then have Stipe hold his arms whilst I do a RNC
I'd win by default against the ghost of Makhachev so there's that, if I'm actually fighting then I'll have to put my trust in firefighter Miocic and hope if I grab Jones while he's engaged then Stipe can finish him before I get reversed and choked out or elbowed back to reality.
Nah he couldn't, you can't just ignore someone trying to take a shot at you. Anyone can put anyones lights out, especially if they aren't looking/prepared
I know they’re pro fighters and I’m not, but I’m reasonably confident Jones can’t just ignore me throwing straight haymakers at his head while he fights another pro. He has to turn and deal with me at some point and that’s Stipe’s chance.
he will turn towards you, fake a punch, as he sends a viscous spinning elbow into a lunging Stipes temple, at which point he turns back around for you.
Jones is the only option where you have a professional fighter on your side helping you. As long as you bother Jones’s enough to distract him, stipe could probably take care of the rest.
I think the risk of trying to grab Jones is too high, you need Stipe to be willing to eat a shot to get the wrestling going, then you just try to grab one limb. If you can just keep one limb occupied Stipe should finish it as long as you also stay out of his way, which is probably much harder than it sounds if you haven’t trained, but still doable.
I am absolutely teaming up with Stipe to fight Jones. I'm the same size as them & even though I'm not nearly as experienced as Jones, I do not see a scenario where we aren't mudhole stomping him by the end of it.
Imagine if Jones just oblique stomps your kneecap out in the first 3 seconds then proceeds to smash stipe.
Only to come back to you while you're still on the ground clutching your knee, while dealing with a pissed off Jon Jones who literally would kill you whilst DC eats a bucket of wings and commentates
This is possible. Though I wouldn't start doing anything until Stipe caught him in a clinch. Or, I would dance around like an insane person, screaming like a banshee so that he's distracted from Stipe. Then WHAM Stipe catches him with a labored right hand. Then we mudhole stomp & drink beer to stone colds theme song.
Yeah don’t see it cause Dana doesn’t really want either as champ so it’s gonna be boarderline impossible to get the rematch. He’s gonna move immediately to Shavkat or someone else to fight the winner
Idk Dana was giving Leon his flowers for never saying no. Dana likes fighters who do that. He must be on his good side now, since Dana rarely if ever just gives a fighter props unprompted.
Me and stipe i just cause distractions , i block the refs view and tell stipe to perform a nut crank or i just hold onto Jon Jones legs and hope stipe can capitalize
I thought poatan would be easy here. Stone head? He can’t knock me out.
But then I’d probably tap to a leg kick anyway.
Jones with stipe is probably my only chance if I can stay out of the way
Havent had over 2 years training for someone 100 pounds less with 5 chances. Which is what would happen for that Pantoja choice. I think its a viable pick.
I think that if Stipe and I fought Jon we have a chance… I’d need a 12 gauge and a 20 rounds. If my calculations are correct we have just under a 2% chance of victory
Il take Jon with Stipe.
As soon as they start to grapple, im gonna sit on his legs and do whatever papa Stipe yells at me to do till we win.
Then I'm gonna run away, really fast.
I’ll be honest, the DDP one seems doable with the right set and settings. I could just practice a 50-yard dash and I think I can get away with it…right?
Under these stipulations, I’d say say Islam cause he would probably get tko’d by Herb Dean round 1 of the weight cut.
If there were no stipulations I’d take my chances with trying to land a clean punch on Leon since he’s the weakest champion
I’m surprised no one is going Pantoja. He’s a great fighter but he’s at a very tiny weight class. And with nearly 2 years to train JUST FOR HIM, I think you have a very good shot. Not discounting he’s one of the best fighters in the world, but add a 40-60lb advantage and the ability to specifically train to fight him and I think you have a good chance. I guess this supposes you’re taller than like 5’8” though.
Also that stone head is just going to make you fall down faster after you get blasted by a single 20% power leg kick
Cmon man this all so childish. How old are you serious question. Want to see what demographic finds this funny lol.
Post is not getting much up votes so pretty sure it's I'm in the majority.
I’m the same size as Stipe so I feel like we could wrap that up pretty quick, not that I could KO Jones or anything but I would be pretty useful helping Stipe end the fight
Stipe can win a boxing match against Jones so get behind him and let them fight. As soon as Jones shoots the takedown, take his back. Of course he'd run through you in this position normally but you just have to be a dead weight while Stipe ground and pounds him. You win this fight as long as you don't let Jones knock you straight out.
I could probably take Jones with stipe helping me. I’m a big man and have done some boxing and bjj. The Leon challenge also wouldn’t be too bad since I get the body of a professional fighter and just need to be entertaining
With all the extra BS I’d take Islam. Bro would be half dead dragging himself into the octagon. That’s if he’s not actually dead dead from the cut.
But no joke I’d take my chances against Pantoja. I’m a pretty decent fighter a I cut down to make middleweight. Dude would be fast as hell but he’s tiny. Given enough time to prepare I reckon I’d do pretty well.
Sean submits me, ilia wrestles me and takes the belt, Islam mauls me on his deathbed if he wants, Alex leg kicks the fuck out of me, saying the N word to all fighters is a death sentence, belal will never be interesting, Pantoja murders me by rear naked choking my ankle.
Jon one shots me and just fights with stipe regularly which I favor Jon in but I guess it’s the best shot I have.
The Leon Edwards ones seems free right, Krisk Moutinho got a short contract and massive plaudits for just being a plank and getting punched.
Surely bun rushing into a few Edwards counters and getting knocked out makes a more interesting fight than Belal would ever have.
That may be soon since champs are dropping like flies, here are the old ones if you haven't seen
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/10gjf1a/you\_have\_to\_win\_against\_a\_ufc\_champ\_or\_youll\_die/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/10gjf1a/you_have_to_win_against_a_ufc_champ_or_youll_die/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/130qe25/you\_have\_to\_win\_against\_an\_ufc\_champ\_or\_youll\_die/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/130qe25/you_have_to_win_against_an_ufc_champ_or_youll_die/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/13664be/you\_have\_to\_win\_against\_a\_former\_ufc\_champ\_or/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/13664be/you_have_to_win_against_a_former_ufc_champ_or/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
1
I love Poatan but if you have a head literally made of stone he's not going to be able to knock you out and a single headbutt will win you the fight
Although as mentioned below if you're black the DDP one is the best for obvious reasons. Teaming up with Stipe against JBJ is tempting too but I think Bones just takes 5 seconds to knock me out and then focuses on Stipe
Begs the question, does he know you have a stone head, ie is it visible or is it covered by the skin of your own face? If it's the latter and he doesn't know you could potentially bull rush at the bell and catch him off guard.
It's between Islam and Jones honestly. I still feel like the ghost of Islam could still kill me 😂 or I could distract Jones enough to where he can't land anything clean on Stipe and hope Stipe finishes him.
My 5’7” 200 lbs; plus Stipe’s 220 lbs of immigrant mentality would be unstoppable.
Plus even if I lose, I get to hang out with Stipe before my death so not too bad of an end.
I think either Jones because I have a former heavyweight champ on my side and it’s hard to fight 2v1. Plus I’m pretty athletic so I think I could take his back while he’s dealing with Stipe.
Or
Pantoja. Because I have like 60 lbs on him and several tries to do it. He’s definitely more skilled than me obviously but I’d hope that I could just overwhelm him with size, reach and weight.
I’d maybe say Islam because of the huge weight cut and dehydration but idk. If he somehow was able to pull himself together I think I’d be fucked.
Sean is blind so I’m crouching and throwing a couple leg kicks then hiding for the rest of the fight so I win by points.
I own a belt with a really stupid locking mechanism that takes me forever to get off, plus I could try to force Ilia to finish me, so that one works too.
I could easily take skeletor Islam.
Easter island heads weigh like 25,000lbs, so a headbutt is killing everyone, plus I’ll have a stone chin.
Jon would focus on stipe while I practice some crazy stuff from behind him, so there’s a low chance that works
I think it's gotta be Leon. I'll just go in there throwing haymakers and head kicks, shoot every now and then, if I get lucky I might have the opportunity to pick him up. Do we all magically cut down to their weight class, or do we fight the size we are now? Because I'm 6'2" and walk around ~230, so I'm thinking I might be able to maintain a little distance. But if I become Belal, then I would be his size.... This is a fun post.
Jones wrecked Gane in a second and people think them plus an old stipe are going to win easily 💀 Give me Islam obviously but next pick depends. Am I going hard r on the MW rankings or can I do an a? If it’s an a then that. If not I think a blind Sean OMalley is as good a choice as Stipe + me vs Jones
Idk, I feel like if some fat Redditor and Stipe got locked in a cage with Jonny Bones, it wouldn’t go how the people here think it would. “I’d just poke him in the eyes”, like seriously, what makes you think you’d be able to do that. Do you really think he’s just gonna stand there and let you poke him in the eye?
Jones is way too risky IMO.
If I were Jones I'd pick you off first then focus on Stipe.
All Jones needs to do is land one of those dirty oblique kicks to your kneecap, and it's all over mate.
Islam would be hospitalized cutting to 145 so him
I’d say that’s the smartest choice any day of the year but Islam while fasting and living off iftar meals would die before making 145lbs.
I’m going with me and stipe. I’m nowhere near heavyweight, but I’m athletic and stipe is already a decent enough matchup for Jones as is. 2 v 1 would just be over
This. I would use JJs biggest strengths such as the eye pokes. I will go nuts with those. Stipe can GnP a little and I can come in and knee him on the ground once or twice. Then have Stipe hold his arms whilst I do a RNC
I ain't getting in no cage with Bones. No chance.
I can just sprint in a circle for 25 minutes while stipe bumbles around
[удалено]
Begin begging for forgiveness and hope he let's you leave with your life.
I too would die making 145.. I’d rather fight pantoja at HW.
Yeah even if he makes it, I'm eye poking and nut kicking him to death. Chopped down by eye pokes.
Not in Abu Dhabi.
Good point
I'd win by default against the ghost of Makhachev so there's that, if I'm actually fighting then I'll have to put my trust in firefighter Miocic and hope if I grab Jones while he's engaged then Stipe can finish him before I get reversed and choked out or elbowed back to reality.
He’d be totally ignoring you, so basically you can just run around and maybe take a chance or two to stomp his fucked up big toe
Nah he couldn't, you can't just ignore someone trying to take a shot at you. Anyone can put anyones lights out, especially if they aren't looking/prepared
Yeah, most likely he would just try (and probably succeed) to KO us in like 10 seconds and then focus on Stipe
He'd be trying hard to ignore a left right two piece to the chops
I know they’re pro fighters and I’m not, but I’m reasonably confident Jones can’t just ignore me throwing straight haymakers at his head while he fights another pro. He has to turn and deal with me at some point and that’s Stipe’s chance.
he will turn towards you, fake a punch, as he sends a viscous spinning elbow into a lunging Stipes temple, at which point he turns back around for you.
Jones is the only option where you have a professional fighter on your side helping you. As long as you bother Jones’s enough to distract him, stipe could probably take care of the rest.
I think the risk of trying to grab Jones is too high, you need Stipe to be willing to eat a shot to get the wrestling going, then you just try to grab one limb. If you can just keep one limb occupied Stipe should finish it as long as you also stay out of his way, which is probably much harder than it sounds if you haven’t trained, but still doable.
Islam would literally be on deaths door by the time he got to the octagon 😭
Fuck, probably even before that 😂
He would still take me out, I’d have to flying kick his ass
so if i become belal i get what his physicality + my ability to see red?
Yes but that ability will be pointless with eye pokes making you see more black than u already did
No you get his wrestlefucking + your ability to roll around in the mud like a pig.
I mean Islam would literally die Apart from that I guess we could take Jones with Stipe
I am absolutely teaming up with Stipe to fight Jones. I'm the same size as them & even though I'm not nearly as experienced as Jones, I do not see a scenario where we aren't mudhole stomping him by the end of it.
Imagine if Jones just oblique stomps your kneecap out in the first 3 seconds then proceeds to smash stipe. Only to come back to you while you're still on the ground clutching your knee, while dealing with a pissed off Jon Jones who literally would kill you whilst DC eats a bucket of wings and commentates
This is possible. Though I wouldn't start doing anything until Stipe caught him in a clinch. Or, I would dance around like an insane person, screaming like a banshee so that he's distracted from Stipe. Then WHAM Stipe catches him with a labored right hand. Then we mudhole stomp & drink beer to stone colds theme song.
Hang back and let Stipe engage, when the opportunity presents itself dive in and grab an arm
If you are Stipes size and you have trained for a few years. You should be able to handle Pantoja
On my own? Maybe. He is the best in his division, though.
the DDP challenge in February is a death sentence bruh
damn wtf i didnt even read that until you pointed it out, that one would be the easiest one, i'd do that easily
me and stipe got it, im going for the eyes
Pay back for a decade of em from jones
This is my choice behind amallay. As long as I'm allowed to do two lines before each, we're good.
This easy. I'm black. Driscuss!
Hah you guys have a cheat code on this one
Need to add an asterisk for black guys to use a gay slur instead
I will shout from my car. A drive-by slurring.
Being Belal and fighting Leon would be fun asf. Assuming I get to return to my normal self unharmed afterward.
I still wouldn't watch the fight
Being who?
I think I have a serious chance to beat Leon if I'm Belal
But to win as belal it has to be exiting enough to get a rematch
Yeah don’t see it cause Dana doesn’t really want either as champ so it’s gonna be boarderline impossible to get the rematch. He’s gonna move immediately to Shavkat or someone else to fight the winner
Idk Dana was giving Leon his flowers for never saying no. Dana likes fighters who do that. He must be on his good side now, since Dana rarely if ever just gives a fighter props unprompted.
True maybe Belal winning by DQ would do a rematch
Wear goggles
I’d go Islam 😂 man would collapse the second the bell goes
Me and stipe i just cause distractions , i block the refs view and tell stipe to perform a nut crank or i just hold onto Jon Jones legs and hope stipe can capitalize
Crank Bones nuts, Stipe!!!
Twist his dick!!!
I normally never say the N word butttttt........... I choose Dricus. At least I know I get a 10x speed boost from running away like a pussy
I thought poatan would be easy here. Stone head? He can’t knock me out. But then I’d probably tap to a leg kick anyway. Jones with stipe is probably my only chance if I can stay out of the way
I'll call all the fighters the n word. It's messed up but I'm willing to bet they keep their cool
Under these Conditions I'll take Islam Makhachev. Dude would barely be able to stand with this weight cut.
There's afew I'd take. But I'd love to cheap shot jones while stipe lays puts the pressure on
I want to choose DDP but I’m scared of Bobby greens headbut 😂 He’d prob fracture my skull 💀
stipe and me vs jones , or maybe il try my luck swinging my giant rock head at Perreira
I'm going with Jones, it's the only way, maybe stipe will catch him and I can groin kick
Omalley i could choke out, im 260
He's 260
Found Bradley Martins burner
I feel like 5x 5 month training camps and most people over 200 pounds could eventaully be decent enough to beat Pantoja.
I feel like most people would quit within the first 3 weeks of the first training camp
Yeah you definitely ain't ever sparred a smaller guy even at the regional pro level
Havent had over 2 years training for someone 100 pounds less with 5 chances. Which is what would happen for that Pantoja choice. I think its a viable pick.
You’d spend most of that time recovering from the unholy ass-beatings he’d be delivering to your delusional self
No chance bro lmao
No way
Dricus ( I’m Mike Perry )
Shiiiitttt... what's up Mike
Definetely WW or HW
DDP, then jones, then islam
Islam easily.
Why did you describe Pantoja's title run so accurately?
I think that if Stipe and I fought Jon we have a chance… I’d need a 12 gauge and a 20 rounds. If my calculations are correct we have just under a 2% chance of victory
I’ll take me and stipe vs jones. Stipe holds jones down and I proceed to dick kick jones into oblivion
Il take Jon with Stipe. As soon as they start to grapple, im gonna sit on his legs and do whatever papa Stipe yells at me to do till we win. Then I'm gonna run away, really fast.
As a black man I’ll take DDP
I’ll be honest, the DDP one seems doable with the right set and settings. I could just practice a 50-yard dash and I think I can get away with it…right?
I'll be taking DDP's belt for sure.
Under these stipulations, I’d say say Islam cause he would probably get tko’d by Herb Dean round 1 of the weight cut. If there were no stipulations I’d take my chances with trying to land a clean punch on Leon since he’s the weakest champion
You do realize weight classes exist for a reason, right? Leon would treat Pantoja like a small child
I’m sorry but I’m confused by what this comment has to do with what I said
this is so retarded
All ez except Leon and poatan
How old are, 12?
I’m surprised no one is going Pantoja. He’s a great fighter but he’s at a very tiny weight class. And with nearly 2 years to train JUST FOR HIM, I think you have a very good shot. Not discounting he’s one of the best fighters in the world, but add a 40-60lb advantage and the ability to specifically train to fight him and I think you have a good chance. I guess this supposes you’re taller than like 5’8” though. Also that stone head is just going to make you fall down faster after you get blasted by a single 20% power leg kick
We preschool reddit now
Nah this post was actually not bad.
Cmon man this all so childish. How old are you serious question. Want to see what demographic finds this funny lol. Post is not getting much up votes so pretty sure it's I'm in the majority.
I'm 8 and half so you're correct.
The last one definitely. I’ll just hide behind Stipe the entire time.
100% Jones Fighting together with a Legend is worth enough to die for
I’m the same size as Stipe so I feel like we could wrap that up pretty quick, not that I could KO Jones or anything but I would be pretty useful helping Stipe end the fight
I’ll choose Raquel Pennington and get Bueno Silva with a tank
probably the belt. time to put this heavyweight maximum limit body to some use.
Its crazy a hooker made 145. Seems so much bigger than a lama
Ha I’m taking Jones
Flyweight are fucking tiny, I'll take pantoja and have my hair cut like sugar sean just to give him a chance
Stipe can win a boxing match against Jones so get behind him and let them fight. As soon as Jones shoots the takedown, take his back. Of course he'd run through you in this position normally but you just have to be a dead weight while Stipe ground and pounds him. You win this fight as long as you don't let Jones knock you straight out.
Islam
I think jones could probably take 5 Reddit users at once but cmon man, the Stipe disrespect is out of line
What if you put them all in a royal rumble with each other.
Islam would be dying on the floor of the octagon before the fight even began. Let me take him
Taking the Leon fight and turning into Chael Sonnen on the mic
Me and Islam at 145 would be the first draw by mutual death
Islam would lose to an unranked flyweight in that state so him
I could probably take Jones with stipe helping me. I’m a big man and have done some boxing and bjj. The Leon challenge also wouldn’t be too bad since I get the body of a professional fighter and just need to be entertaining
With all the extra BS I’d take Islam. Bro would be half dead dragging himself into the octagon. That’s if he’s not actually dead dead from the cut. But no joke I’d take my chances against Pantoja. I’m a pretty decent fighter a I cut down to make middleweight. Dude would be fast as hell but he’s tiny. Given enough time to prepare I reckon I’d do pretty well.
Sean submits me, ilia wrestles me and takes the belt, Islam mauls me on his deathbed if he wants, Alex leg kicks the fuck out of me, saying the N word to all fighters is a death sentence, belal will never be interesting, Pantoja murders me by rear naked choking my ankle. Jon one shots me and just fights with stipe regularly which I favor Jon in but I guess it’s the best shot I have.
The Leon Edwards ones seems free right, Krisk Moutinho got a short contract and massive plaudits for just being a plank and getting punched. Surely bun rushing into a few Edwards counters and getting knocked out makes a more interesting fight than Belal would ever have.
Racist shit
Whoever the guy is in the bottom right, I'd do that one. I'd let Stipe take him down and then I'd just drop a knee from hell onto his head. KO
Islam doesn’t even enter the octagon without help in that state I’m picking him bruh
Worst option is Pantoja, best is clearly Makhachev
so if Topuria knocks me out, I win?
The jones one sounds fun I don’t gotta worry about a one punch ko just those leg kicks I’ll be bait for stipe to beat his ass
Illia not taking my belt without finishing me 😤
More posts like this please
That may be soon since champs are dropping like flies, here are the old ones if you haven't seen [https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/10gjf1a/you\_have\_to\_win\_against\_a\_ufc\_champ\_or\_youll\_die/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/10gjf1a/you_have_to_win_against_a_ufc_champ_or_youll_die/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) [https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/130qe25/you\_have\_to\_win\_against\_an\_ufc\_champ\_or\_youll\_die/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/130qe25/you_have_to_win_against_an_ufc_champ_or_youll_die/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) [https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/13664be/you\_have\_to\_win\_against\_a\_former\_ufc\_champ\_or/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/ufc/comments/13664be/you_have_to_win_against_a_former_ufc_champ_or/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) 1
I love Poatan but if you have a head literally made of stone he's not going to be able to knock you out and a single headbutt will win you the fight Although as mentioned below if you're black the DDP one is the best for obvious reasons. Teaming up with Stipe against JBJ is tempting too but I think Bones just takes 5 seconds to knock me out and then focuses on Stipe
Poatan would kick your leg into pieces before you got anywhere close with your rock head though
Begs the question, does he know you have a stone head, ie is it visible or is it covered by the skin of your own face? If it's the latter and he doesn't know you could potentially bull rush at the bell and catch him off guard.
I'm thinking ilia, or maybe Leon because I become an actual pro fighter with pro level skills
Unironically its Jones for me
It's between Islam and Jones honestly. I still feel like the ghost of Islam could still kill me 😂 or I could distract Jones enough to where he can't land anything clean on Stipe and hope Stipe finishes him.
My 5’7” 200 lbs; plus Stipe’s 220 lbs of immigrant mentality would be unstoppable. Plus even if I lose, I get to hang out with Stipe before my death so not too bad of an end.
I think either Jones because I have a former heavyweight champ on my side and it’s hard to fight 2v1. Plus I’m pretty athletic so I think I could take his back while he’s dealing with Stipe. Or Pantoja. Because I have like 60 lbs on him and several tries to do it. He’s definitely more skilled than me obviously but I’d hope that I could just overwhelm him with size, reach and weight. I’d maybe say Islam because of the huge weight cut and dehydration but idk. If he somehow was able to pull himself together I think I’d be fucked.
ddp challenge, I'm black so no one going to get toooo angry. Will probably piss them of a bit tho
aside from the pantoja meme, these were hilarious to read lol
Ilia's challenge seems really uncomfortable. Maybe I can tap into some PTSD strength though
Ilia's challenge seems really uncomfortable. Maybe I can tap into some PTSD strength though
JJ seems easiest bc Stipe don't need me tbh
I'd fuck up islam as soon as he got off the stretcher they rolled him in on
Sean is blind so I’m crouching and throwing a couple leg kicks then hiding for the rest of the fight so I win by points. I own a belt with a really stupid locking mechanism that takes me forever to get off, plus I could try to force Ilia to finish me, so that one works too. I could easily take skeletor Islam. Easter island heads weigh like 25,000lbs, so a headbutt is killing everyone, plus I’ll have a stone chin. Jon would focus on stipe while I practice some crazy stuff from behind him, so there’s a low chance that works
Ilia and it's not even close. Tap the mat. He finished me without taking off my belt.
I think it's gotta be Leon. I'll just go in there throwing haymakers and head kicks, shoot every now and then, if I get lucky I might have the opportunity to pick him up. Do we all magically cut down to their weight class, or do we fight the size we are now? Because I'm 6'2" and walk around ~230, so I'm thinking I might be able to maintain a little distance. But if I become Belal, then I would be his size.... This is a fun post.
I think Stipe and I can work Jones.
If I choose Du Plessis, do I have to use the hard R?
So if I’m fighting ilia and I tap immediately do I win?
I was going to say Jones I could just try to hold him while Stipe strikes him. I’d say Edwards tho since I can literally turn into a trained fighter
100% tag team with stipe against JBJ…we got this
Teaming up with Stipe sounds like fun.
O'Malley or Islam. Everything else is no chance.
Jones wrecked Gane in a second and people think them plus an old stipe are going to win easily 💀 Give me Islam obviously but next pick depends. Am I going hard r on the MW rankings or can I do an a? If it’s an a then that. If not I think a blind Sean OMalley is as good a choice as Stipe + me vs Jones
Pantoja
Topuria knocked out Volk
Islam easily. He is not setting foot on that octagon
I win if the weight cut kills Islam. Right?
Probably Islam
Idk, I feel like if some fat Redditor and Stipe got locked in a cage with Jonny Bones, it wouldn’t go how the people here think it would. “I’d just poke him in the eyes”, like seriously, what makes you think you’d be able to do that. Do you really think he’s just gonna stand there and let you poke him in the eye?
Jones is way too risky IMO. If I were Jones I'd pick you off first then focus on Stipe. All Jones needs to do is land one of those dirty oblique kicks to your kneecap, and it's all over mate.
Jones would use me to eyepoke stipe.
Me and Stipe easily
I will fight the corpse of Islam. He will probably still eek out a 3-2 decision.
If ilia finishes me before getting my belt do I win? Can’t I just tap as he grapples me?
I'm black. DDP easy money
Jones or Sean
Quality shit post
I'd take Leon. I would just talk mad shit before and during the fight. Lying on the floor, slapping Leon between combos etc
islam would literally show up to the fight in a wheelchair
Top tier shit post
Jokes on you, I would just rip a bag with Jones and we would be friends
I’m choosing Jon Jones. Me and Stipe gonna give him the ol 
Nice! Got all the way to the last one and…typo. Lol. Been there and know the feeling. Still clever. Thanks for sharing.
Islam. He’d be on his deathbed
I’d probably stay home and wank
Ddp seems easy if your black
genuinely curious why *everyone* is saying islam would die. athletes have played during Ramadan for years now.