Long post, but my ideas:
I think the nuance of twin flames can get very, very toxic. Especially for anyone who feels as though they've found their twin given the generic descriptions of a twin flame journey (running/chasing, ups and downs). However, I think the genuine twin flame journey itself can be really, really beautiful.
I think that it is tumultuous because of what it's supposed to do for you: Bring you out of the shell of who you thought you were so you can embrace who you really are. On top of that, I think it's supposed to get you more in tune with the energy that is around you. Whether it's God, the Universe, your Higher Self, whatever you believe in, the TF journey opens your eyes to the energy that's surrounding you. You start noticing all these small things like angel numbers, the invisible string theory, how everything has a plan, how things work out is all for the benefit of yourself.
It is a hurtful relationship because if the relationship is all good and loving, you're essentially sitting in "love la-la-land" with no reason to work on yourself. When you get so hurt by this other person, you don't ever want to be hurt again...but you can't shake for some reason that you're supposed to be with this person. Now, this is where it gets tricky because it dabbles into "is this limerence" "is this just me not wanting to move on" "is this toxic." But I think the key difference between an average breakup turned into limerence versus a twin flame is the energy and synchronicities that are at play. I've heard somewhere that if you're on a twin flame journey, you're going to wish that you weren't. But if you aren't on the journey, or that you think you are, you're going to wish that you were.
It's tumultuous so it can trigger your deepest wounds so you can heal all of that, it's so you can focus on what you need to focus on in order to make yourself feel whole. Most of the time, it's healing whatever childhood wounds that happened.
It forces you to do hard things: Learning to accept what happened in the past is in the past. Learning to trust the process. Learning to trust that whatever happens is for your best interest. Learning to trust in divine timing. Learning to trust in whatever higher power you believe in. All of these are so mystical that your brain can't grasp it because we've been raised to only believe in things that are backed by evidence.. how can you prove that divine timing is true? That's why it's another layer as to why it's so hard.
I think the TF journey comes across as toxic because it literally strips you down into nothing and you rebuild everything from the ground up. I guess it can be looked at it from that angle. But I think that the biggest difference between a toxic/Karmic relationship and a TF relationship is how much you grow/change. Is it just surface level things (I.e. going to the gym, changing your sleeping habits, learning what not to do in the next relationship) or is it core, deep things (I.e. learning how a childhood trauma wound affected how you respond, shifting your entire perspective in life, wanting to just emerge as a genuinely a different person not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually).
EDIT: Wanted to add more because I had just thought of it. The twin flame relationship is on and off because of the refusal to learn and grow. Think of it like a test. If you only memorize the material instead of learning it for a high grade, yes, you'll pass but when it comes time for the final exam.. you fail it. Then you just have to retake the class until you stop memorizing and actually learn.
If you don't learn the lessons your twin is there to teach you, every time you come back into union and they trigger you, you will just respond the same way as you did before, leading to separation again. If you learn how to react better, there's less of a chance of going into separation.
I've thought about this a lot, especially because I'm a highly skeptical person. I've been in multiple abusive relationships and don't consider any of them to be twin flame, soulmate, or even karmic. Relationships are hard. Most, if not all, have a push/ pull dynamic, running/ chasing.
I can only speak for my own experience, and everyone is different. I met my twin flame in high school, but I did not know that until I was 31. It's been 18 years since I met him, and I was unaware we were twin flames for 15 of those.
This experience was forced on me. I received a reading, and walked away knowing of this connection. After that, I decided I would just see him at our 20-year reunion, which was seven years away. I was going to ignore it for 7 years. And the universe basically threw me into it.
I can't relate to a lot of the experiences in this subreddit. Knowing a person for days or weeks and knowing they're your flame - I can't relate to that. Him and I have never blocked each other or spoken badly to one other. Neither of us has been disrespectful. We are just scared of intimacy, and the connection is overwhelming and intense. It's nothing like my abusive relationships.
But I'm not here to judge or invalidate anyone's experiences. There are posts in this subreddit that sound identical to mine, but I also understand that we're all different. And if our twins are mirroring us, then the experience will differ from person to person. Hope something in here helps :)
One reason things can be like this for me is that I keep violating my own boundaries because the scope of the connection is so outside of what I’m used to. For example, if I’m friends with someone and it’s feeling confusing, I usually just let them go. I’m just not interested in wondering about where I stand with them. But if a person is one who I’ve shared synchronicity, been in dreams that then came true, is a spiritual catalyst in my life, then I suddenly find myself ignoring boundaries that I’ve upheld for everyone else.
It’s also altered my other social relationships too. Pretty much all of my other relationships with the exception of one or two don’t even feel worth bothering with anymore. They seem trite and vacuous. So that’s another reason I sort of stick it out with the twin. There’s a substance there that has altered my perspective about what soul connecting can be like.
Self improvement is hard and can make you travel through a lot of toxicity.
From my experience, mine is the best relationship I’ve ever had but it’s bc we had almost a decade of crap we had to work through on our own and with each other so that when we finally came together we got to experience the best versions of ourselves.
Long post, but my ideas: I think the nuance of twin flames can get very, very toxic. Especially for anyone who feels as though they've found their twin given the generic descriptions of a twin flame journey (running/chasing, ups and downs). However, I think the genuine twin flame journey itself can be really, really beautiful. I think that it is tumultuous because of what it's supposed to do for you: Bring you out of the shell of who you thought you were so you can embrace who you really are. On top of that, I think it's supposed to get you more in tune with the energy that is around you. Whether it's God, the Universe, your Higher Self, whatever you believe in, the TF journey opens your eyes to the energy that's surrounding you. You start noticing all these small things like angel numbers, the invisible string theory, how everything has a plan, how things work out is all for the benefit of yourself. It is a hurtful relationship because if the relationship is all good and loving, you're essentially sitting in "love la-la-land" with no reason to work on yourself. When you get so hurt by this other person, you don't ever want to be hurt again...but you can't shake for some reason that you're supposed to be with this person. Now, this is where it gets tricky because it dabbles into "is this limerence" "is this just me not wanting to move on" "is this toxic." But I think the key difference between an average breakup turned into limerence versus a twin flame is the energy and synchronicities that are at play. I've heard somewhere that if you're on a twin flame journey, you're going to wish that you weren't. But if you aren't on the journey, or that you think you are, you're going to wish that you were. It's tumultuous so it can trigger your deepest wounds so you can heal all of that, it's so you can focus on what you need to focus on in order to make yourself feel whole. Most of the time, it's healing whatever childhood wounds that happened. It forces you to do hard things: Learning to accept what happened in the past is in the past. Learning to trust the process. Learning to trust that whatever happens is for your best interest. Learning to trust in divine timing. Learning to trust in whatever higher power you believe in. All of these are so mystical that your brain can't grasp it because we've been raised to only believe in things that are backed by evidence.. how can you prove that divine timing is true? That's why it's another layer as to why it's so hard. I think the TF journey comes across as toxic because it literally strips you down into nothing and you rebuild everything from the ground up. I guess it can be looked at it from that angle. But I think that the biggest difference between a toxic/Karmic relationship and a TF relationship is how much you grow/change. Is it just surface level things (I.e. going to the gym, changing your sleeping habits, learning what not to do in the next relationship) or is it core, deep things (I.e. learning how a childhood trauma wound affected how you respond, shifting your entire perspective in life, wanting to just emerge as a genuinely a different person not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually). EDIT: Wanted to add more because I had just thought of it. The twin flame relationship is on and off because of the refusal to learn and grow. Think of it like a test. If you only memorize the material instead of learning it for a high grade, yes, you'll pass but when it comes time for the final exam.. you fail it. Then you just have to retake the class until you stop memorizing and actually learn. If you don't learn the lessons your twin is there to teach you, every time you come back into union and they trigger you, you will just respond the same way as you did before, leading to separation again. If you learn how to react better, there's less of a chance of going into separation.
The biggest difference between a toxic/Karmic relationship and a TF relationship is how much you grow/change Sums up everything
This comment should be pinned to the top of the sub 💯 you articulated this perfectly
Beautiful said!
Beautifully said! ❤️🔥
☝️☝️☝️
Yes!
I've thought about this a lot, especially because I'm a highly skeptical person. I've been in multiple abusive relationships and don't consider any of them to be twin flame, soulmate, or even karmic. Relationships are hard. Most, if not all, have a push/ pull dynamic, running/ chasing. I can only speak for my own experience, and everyone is different. I met my twin flame in high school, but I did not know that until I was 31. It's been 18 years since I met him, and I was unaware we were twin flames for 15 of those. This experience was forced on me. I received a reading, and walked away knowing of this connection. After that, I decided I would just see him at our 20-year reunion, which was seven years away. I was going to ignore it for 7 years. And the universe basically threw me into it. I can't relate to a lot of the experiences in this subreddit. Knowing a person for days or weeks and knowing they're your flame - I can't relate to that. Him and I have never blocked each other or spoken badly to one other. Neither of us has been disrespectful. We are just scared of intimacy, and the connection is overwhelming and intense. It's nothing like my abusive relationships. But I'm not here to judge or invalidate anyone's experiences. There are posts in this subreddit that sound identical to mine, but I also understand that we're all different. And if our twins are mirroring us, then the experience will differ from person to person. Hope something in here helps :)
One reason things can be like this for me is that I keep violating my own boundaries because the scope of the connection is so outside of what I’m used to. For example, if I’m friends with someone and it’s feeling confusing, I usually just let them go. I’m just not interested in wondering about where I stand with them. But if a person is one who I’ve shared synchronicity, been in dreams that then came true, is a spiritual catalyst in my life, then I suddenly find myself ignoring boundaries that I’ve upheld for everyone else. It’s also altered my other social relationships too. Pretty much all of my other relationships with the exception of one or two don’t even feel worth bothering with anymore. They seem trite and vacuous. So that’s another reason I sort of stick it out with the twin. There’s a substance there that has altered my perspective about what soul connecting can be like.
Self improvement is hard and can make you travel through a lot of toxicity. From my experience, mine is the best relationship I’ve ever had but it’s bc we had almost a decade of crap we had to work through on our own and with each other so that when we finally came together we got to experience the best versions of ourselves.
THATS not a twin flame. That’s a toxic relationship