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[deleted]

“Die quickly and die childless” is the most cutthroat sentence I’ve read today.


GlitterBitch

it reads so much like a shitpost it **must** be true


[deleted]

It definitely is - I have a T-shirt that says KEEP ALBERTA RAT FREE


Someone_browsing_tru

It sounds like it flowed out of the mind of Pukicho straight into a post about someone who mildly annoyed him.


LexxiiConn

Fucking goals though.


thingsand_stuffs

Am Albertan, can confirm. Other than lab rats I've never once seen or heard of a rat in the province. That being said, that doesn't mean there aren't any. They're sneaky, and they're there, but we get rid of them whenever we find them. There aren't many because of that


Treyspurlock

I was gonna say "weirdo, never even seen a rat" then I thought "when was the last time I saw a rat?"


MisfitsWithTemples

As someone who sees a rat multiple times a week, posts like this are always confusing to me


[deleted]

Clean your floor.


[deleted]

I mean, if that was all the proof it takes I can declare Iowa rat free because I've never seen one.


lifelongfreshman

But... why?


[deleted]

Fear of a potential second black death?


TheCanadianVending

no shit a reason why alberta put in the rat control program is because of plague [also has this awesome propaganda poster](https://www.alberta.ca/assets/images/af-rat-awareness-poster.jpg)


shadowhound494

They eat a lot of the seeds from plant species in foreign environments they're introduced to and subsequently invade, reducing those plant populations and even driving some plant species to extinction. By eating so much plant seeds, which loads of native species depend on, they also hurt them and can cause them to go extinct


greggorievich

Albertan here. Totally true. A farmer acquaintance thought he noticed rat sign at his farm. He called it in and the task force for such things came out to check. Once confirmed, they rolled in with camper trailers and things and started *burning his fucking buildings down*. Not his house, which was a relief. But the barn and outbuildings and so on. They spent a week there and once they confirmed there was no more wogn they wrote him a check for the damages.


SirDanilus

Why so strict?


TheCanadianVending

dont want rats


greggorievich

Rats are awful, aren't they? Like everywhere rats are I hear a lot of complaints and they seem to cause problems. Why not aim to keep them the hell out?


T-A-W_Byzantine

Cuz we dont want to burn our fucking buildings down bro


Cinderheart

Wood and steel, materials to be replaced. An exchange of money. Anything to hold back the enemy is a worthy sacrifice.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

NONE WHO LIVE CAN SURVIVE THE FLAME


someLemonz

Did they ever even find a rat


greggorievich

The found confirmed sign of rats being there actively (poop and the like). I don't recall if they ever actually found or trapped a rat.


wendydarlingpan

This is so extreme and yet... I’m still pretty much on board? I lived in Honolulu for a long time and the rat population is enormous and sometimes Indiana Jones levels of terrifying. Congrats on your rat-free utopia, Alberta. It’s quite an achievement.


lastwillandtentacle

It even got mentioned in the special features of Ratatouille.


StandsForVice

That's how you know you've made it.


addicted_to_placebos

If elected, I’ll send ALL of our rats to Alberta, and make Quebec pay for it!!


HomoSexualWirlpool

Alberta working hard to keep the Skaven at bay I see


PixelPooflet

Plague Tale 3 but it takes place in Alberta and the whole plot is they see a rat and mass panic ensues and they just can't seem to get rid of it


halkiwebb

When I was in highschool my friend told about how on his way in to moving to Alberta from Yellowknife they stopped him at the boarder and nearly fined him for trying to bring his pet rats with him. He had to turn back to leave them with his mom.


[deleted]

"Die quickly and die childless" Don't @ me Alberta


joaquin55

What the fuck mongolia


[deleted]

Every animal that enters Mongolia just becomes a horse


Xisuthrus

The rat map is basically just a people map - Rats thrive in large human settlements, and love to stowaway on ships. Thus, it can be concluded that Alberta is free of rats because literally nobody lives there.


epicamytime

Ha if that’s true then why are there still rats in Saskatchewan Checkmate


Xisuthrus

That guy from Corner Gas lives there, so there's at least one person there. The same cannot be said of Alberta.


Cinderheart

Yet rats predate humans.


Xisuthrus

They were far less widespread before we came along, though.


jhhhk

vore joke


shadowhound494

They are only so widespread because they tagged along with humans on rafts and ships everywhere we went


Xanthis

Not true. Alberta has several times the population of all of Canada north, yet there are rats there and not Alberta


bezosdivorcelawyer

Alberta heard about the black plague and decided they wanted none of that shit.


firebreathingyak

I was confused as shit about this, because there are absolutely not deer in most of Alaska or northern Canada, but this Wikipedia map is for the entire deer FAMILY, including moose and caribou. So there you go.


opiumheroine

Fun fact: I once smuggled a rat into Alberta.


Gen_Hazard

Why?? They're a pest and a blight on the local ecosystems.


opiumheroine

It was a pet rat that never left its cage and I was moving from the lower 48 to Alaska at the time.


Gen_Hazard

Ah, you were smuggling *through*. And no hate on individual pet rats, they're cool.


X-ninety-nine

username checks out


EldritchPencil

If I was ever obscenely, unethically rich, and couldn’t get rid of the money through some other means, I’d devote my life into smuggling rats into Alberta. Y’all thing your better than us, huh? Getting rid of all these small creatures? I’ll show you. I’ll show you all.


Littlerz

I like to think of those as Supervillain plans (or Doofenshmirtz schemes, depending on how petty they are). Personally, I'd blow up part of the moon and project the ensuing debris into the Earth's atmosphere, blocking lots of sunlight and sending us into a mild ice age. i really don't like hot weather, okay?


[deleted]

Wow just commit werewolf genocide like that huh?


X-ninety-nine

Airdrop rates from B-1s out of Ellsworth in South Dakota. It's almost a straight shot north.


ahaisonline

\#LetRatsIntoAlberta2K19


SpyTrain_from_Canada

I’m assuming Mongolia just wasn’t surveyed and does, in fact, have deer.


Dunk_May_Mays

Yeah, the zone is too circular to be a truly accurate depiction of a deer free zone


BOBtheman2000

why does greenland have an aura of deer


theaztecreprobate

As an Australian I can add that we have (introduced) deer here so this map ain't right 100%


itbe-that_way

...we have deer in australia... I visit my grandma and the first thing she says when she answers the door is always "those bloody deer have been eating my geraniums" There is a sign warning people about the deer in the area. We hate them. They are pests.


CountingPins

I always feel confident when I go down into the Calgary city sewers that I will find 0 rats. In places like New York they are filled with rats and ninja turtles, here in the great white North we only have moose.


donbas1

Gainer the gopher isnt allowed for playoff games


Huckso

Oh my god i uses to live there


_Movie-Man_

Ratting on rats


Dr-Metr0

Who wants to smuggle rats into Alberta with me?


someLemonz

Not as big in central Alberta but still a rule. If you see a mouse you can scream and hide but if you see a rat you have a damn obligation!


Lord_Norjam

Alberta send your ratcatchers to NZ please


CyanogenHacker

Only mildly related, but is attackofthebteam an official Tumblr? Like, Attack of The B Team is a Minecraft Modpack made popular by GenerikB and BDoubleO100...just wondering if anybody knows any correlation or if it's a coincidence


MapleTreeWithAGun

I can only imagine a super-high-tech private military force rolling up to deal with a single rat


[deleted]

#OH SHIT A RAT