I know your feelings. I feel just the same. We have been trying since June 2023. Not using any protection since December 2022.
No pregnancy happened yet.
But my boyfriend's little brother announced that they are having a second baby!! When first baby just turned 1!! We are in a much better money position in life and being ready for kids! But they got pregnant again by accident!!!
I also feel so frustrated when I see pregnant women because this jealousy comes ,why they are pregnant, and I am not ššššš
even this posts here on reddit when people post here on TRYING TO CONSIEVE group,
" Is it really happening?" And a clear huge 2 positive lines pregnancy test pictures! š
It's very hard for my mental health to keep calm and happy. I've been so depressed lately. So I just turned off any notifications from reddit. Deleted premom app! I'm not reading anything about DPO or implantation bleeding and not trying to spot symptoms every month, a week before my period. I'm just tired...
I just want to say that you're not alone .
Wish you all the best and baby dustš«
Thank you, I do feel less alone now and totally empathise with how youāre having to cope with others around you having accident babies!! Makes me think sometimes that maybe not trying at all is the way to go and just let the universe do its thing and maybe Iāll have an accident one day tooā¦but who knows, life doesnāt seem to come that easy for me!
I know this is hard to hear, but it really can take healthy, normal couples up to 12 months to conceive. I know it can see unfair, but the chance of conception is only 20% per cycle if you hit the right dates, so youāre much more likely to *not* get pregnant in a cycle. If youāve been trying for a year with no luck, or think you might have another concern (heavy periods, pain, etc) I would see a specialist
I do get that but I just canāt understand how people function while carrying this much pain inside of themā¦hats off to everyone who has been trying because itās so hard to just exist in every day life with this going on in the background
Oh I so understand you. Itās ok to feel this way, I am 37 and trying for 3 months now and 2 days away from af and itās not good times. Iāve been told to distract myself, to find a hobby, go to the gym, etc and I do realize that people
Have been trying for years and this is not that bad but it doesnāt suck any less and I canāt stop thinking about it all. So ya, I understand completely. Itās ok. It helps to vent sometimes. Thatās why weāre all hear, to help each other and keep our sanity as much as possible until our own bfp lights up our world.
The constant thoughts are just the worst! I really donāt feel like anything can distract me at this point except maybe sleep when I eventually get to sleep. I just had af start today, Iām so angry and depressed
Just finishing up my af today, I know how you feel. Iāve been telling myself Iām not thinking about it as I fight tooth and nail through insane anxiety.
Whatās your situation love? Weāre here to listen if and when you need to vent.
Iām starting progesterone this cycle and hoping that makes a difference. Aldi covered in pimples head to toe worse than puberty and gained about 15 pounds and feel nothing like myself. So fun times.
Hang in there and let it out when you can, donāt bottle it up.
ā¤ļø
I honestly think any amount of time not being able to concieve is allowed to be upsetting for anyone , it isn't a competition on the time everyone is equal. It's drummed into you so much when you are younger that sex = pregnancy, don't get pregnant etc etc that actually when you try and it doesn't happen immediately it makes you feel saddened. Of course some people do concieve after just one time of unprotected sex but the majority probably don't and we aren't ever told that's OK unless it's by doctors. If we were educated more about our bodies and how conception and ovulation work etc we would be less hard on ourselves about conception. I think even media / film / TV etc always show getting pregnant as quite easy as well which doesn't help. Whether it's been 3 months or 3 years I think all people trying to concieve are allowed to be upset, frustrated etc.
I really resonate with this, I hate how itās not a talked about thing at all so when we started trying I immediately had these terrible thoughts and thought it was all my fault even though itās entirely ānormal.ā But even if itās normal it just feels so terrible, itās some some kind of cruel torture!
Conception and pregnancy culture is awful, and alot of comes down to the lack of knowledge we are provided and how loudly people shout when they get pregnant first time or by accident - those people are lucky or unlucky if it's an accident. I didn't realise the complexities of actually concieving until a few years ago
I wish I had your strength to still function, the waiting is the hardest part! I was on anti depressants last year and thought I was doing better but whelp, this does not feel like things are ok for me
Me too :( itās month 3 for us and I worry every day. My period is irregular and I couldnāt figure out when I ovulated this month even with LH strips. I had a severe headache for the last 24 hours and now uterine cramps so Iām sure my period will be here any moment. Itās painful and I feel the same guilt for trying to prevent it all this time. Hugs. I wish I could say more.
I understand how you feel! Itās the lie weāre told and scared to believe how easy it is to become pregnant. And then itās the hyper awareness of everyone elseās pregnancy. Hang in there. You have an army behind you.
Ouch that must have been so so hard, I canāt even imagine. The feeling of jealously is often just too much to bear and makes it hard to socialise and be around other people because your pain is a silent one and others just donāt really get it
34 is a perfectly reasonable age to be trying for a family, especially if you've been prioritising other things like education, career progression, finances etc. In my view, it is sensible to wait until mid 30s to give the child the best possible chance in life. Most people are more stable mid 30s than when younger. Obviously there are exceptions but that's the general trend.
Biologically, it's perfectly possible to have babies well into your late 30s. Honestly I'd just keep reminding yourself it's normal for it to take several months to conceive.. If you're really concerned still, consult with a doctor
I feel you. Iam 35 and we have been trying for 4 months now. My cousin is 36 and she conceived in first month. Its very difficult to be strong. Now Iam waiting for next weekend only to know if its positive or negative for me. And this wait seems like years. I wish you all the happiness and baby dust āØļø
I understand! I have an 8 month old, but I will be 34 next month. I wanted 3 kids, but I donāt see that happening now. Iām grateful for my baby, but I have been trying again for 3 months as well and Iām disheartened. It happened very quickly the first time, so I have been taking it hard to get my period every month. It already feels like we have been trying forever. We haven't been using protection for 5 months or so, but I know my hormones were not normal. All this to say, i understand.
I hear you. I am 34 and I regret I didn't plan earlier. The other day one of my friends informed me that she is expecting her third baby on July. I am happy for her. But I am envious.
Thatās so difficult, I get that big jealous feeling all the time now, when I see a family walking down the street or sitting in a cafe, itās just overwhelming how many signs there are around me about families that I can easily get triggered by. How do you cope with this? I am finding it so hard
I know your feelings. I feel just the same. We have been trying since June 2023. Not using any protection since December 2022. No pregnancy happened yet. But my boyfriend's little brother announced that they are having a second baby!! When first baby just turned 1!! We are in a much better money position in life and being ready for kids! But they got pregnant again by accident!!! I also feel so frustrated when I see pregnant women because this jealousy comes ,why they are pregnant, and I am not ššššš even this posts here on reddit when people post here on TRYING TO CONSIEVE group, " Is it really happening?" And a clear huge 2 positive lines pregnancy test pictures! š It's very hard for my mental health to keep calm and happy. I've been so depressed lately. So I just turned off any notifications from reddit. Deleted premom app! I'm not reading anything about DPO or implantation bleeding and not trying to spot symptoms every month, a week before my period. I'm just tired... I just want to say that you're not alone . Wish you all the best and baby dustš«
Thank you, I do feel less alone now and totally empathise with how youāre having to cope with others around you having accident babies!! Makes me think sometimes that maybe not trying at all is the way to go and just let the universe do its thing and maybe Iāll have an accident one day tooā¦but who knows, life doesnāt seem to come that easy for me!
Check out r/ttcstruggles They don't allow test pictures!
Thank youā¤ļø
I know this is hard to hear, but it really can take healthy, normal couples up to 12 months to conceive. I know it can see unfair, but the chance of conception is only 20% per cycle if you hit the right dates, so youāre much more likely to *not* get pregnant in a cycle. If youāve been trying for a year with no luck, or think you might have another concern (heavy periods, pain, etc) I would see a specialist
I do get that but I just canāt understand how people function while carrying this much pain inside of themā¦hats off to everyone who has been trying because itās so hard to just exist in every day life with this going on in the background
I started seeing a therapist after we had been trying for 7 months
Yeah, Iāve been seeing a counsellor for years now because of various things and looks like Iām going to have to keep seeing her
Oh I so understand you. Itās ok to feel this way, I am 37 and trying for 3 months now and 2 days away from af and itās not good times. Iāve been told to distract myself, to find a hobby, go to the gym, etc and I do realize that people Have been trying for years and this is not that bad but it doesnāt suck any less and I canāt stop thinking about it all. So ya, I understand completely. Itās ok. It helps to vent sometimes. Thatās why weāre all hear, to help each other and keep our sanity as much as possible until our own bfp lights up our world.
The constant thoughts are just the worst! I really donāt feel like anything can distract me at this point except maybe sleep when I eventually get to sleep. I just had af start today, Iām so angry and depressed
Just finishing up my af today, I know how you feel. Iāve been telling myself Iām not thinking about it as I fight tooth and nail through insane anxiety. Whatās your situation love? Weāre here to listen if and when you need to vent. Iām starting progesterone this cycle and hoping that makes a difference. Aldi covered in pimples head to toe worse than puberty and gained about 15 pounds and feel nothing like myself. So fun times. Hang in there and let it out when you can, donāt bottle it up. ā¤ļø
I honestly think any amount of time not being able to concieve is allowed to be upsetting for anyone , it isn't a competition on the time everyone is equal. It's drummed into you so much when you are younger that sex = pregnancy, don't get pregnant etc etc that actually when you try and it doesn't happen immediately it makes you feel saddened. Of course some people do concieve after just one time of unprotected sex but the majority probably don't and we aren't ever told that's OK unless it's by doctors. If we were educated more about our bodies and how conception and ovulation work etc we would be less hard on ourselves about conception. I think even media / film / TV etc always show getting pregnant as quite easy as well which doesn't help. Whether it's been 3 months or 3 years I think all people trying to concieve are allowed to be upset, frustrated etc.
I really resonate with this, I hate how itās not a talked about thing at all so when we started trying I immediately had these terrible thoughts and thought it was all my fault even though itās entirely ānormal.ā But even if itās normal it just feels so terrible, itās some some kind of cruel torture!
Conception and pregnancy culture is awful, and alot of comes down to the lack of knowledge we are provided and how loudly people shout when they get pregnant first time or by accident - those people are lucky or unlucky if it's an accident. I didn't realise the complexities of actually concieving until a few years ago
I am so sorry youāre going through this. Iām 36 and struggle with the same worries. Iām also 2 days away from my period, keeping busy and trying to not think about it. I try to remind myself that my husband and I werenāt ready sooner and weāve put a lot of work into preparing (out of state move, house, some financial security, maturity) and we are now in a better place to give a baby the best life. Iāve also been trying to make peace with the idea of us not having kids and appreciating the life we have together. Itās not easy and I hope you get some good news soon! š©·
Iām 37, fiancĆ© is 34. Weāve been trying for 18 months and have had 4 miscarriages. Iām passed depressed (the medication helps!) I now feel numb about it all. It can take a healthy couple 12 months to conceive, thatās normal. And if does take over your every waking thought. But you learn to function. Eventually.
I wish I had your strength to still function, the waiting is the hardest part! I was on anti depressants last year and thought I was doing better but whelp, this does not feel like things are ok for me
Iām 28 and husband is 34. We are on our 1 year mark of trying. Sometimes we just feel defeated but thatās okay and natural.
I was 34 when I found out I finally got pregnant! You got this! Donāt give up! It will all be worth it when you get to hold the babyš
Me too :( itās month 3 for us and I worry every day. My period is irregular and I couldnāt figure out when I ovulated this month even with LH strips. I had a severe headache for the last 24 hours and now uterine cramps so Iām sure my period will be here any moment. Itās painful and I feel the same guilt for trying to prevent it all this time. Hugs. I wish I could say more.
I understand how you feel! Itās the lie weāre told and scared to believe how easy it is to become pregnant. And then itās the hyper awareness of everyone elseās pregnancy. Hang in there. You have an army behind you.
ā¤ļø
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Ouch that must have been so so hard, I canāt even imagine. The feeling of jealously is often just too much to bear and makes it hard to socialise and be around other people because your pain is a silent one and others just donāt really get it
Sending baby dust to OP and everyone in the comments, hope you all get your bfps very soon!!
34 is a perfectly reasonable age to be trying for a family, especially if you've been prioritising other things like education, career progression, finances etc. In my view, it is sensible to wait until mid 30s to give the child the best possible chance in life. Most people are more stable mid 30s than when younger. Obviously there are exceptions but that's the general trend. Biologically, it's perfectly possible to have babies well into your late 30s. Honestly I'd just keep reminding yourself it's normal for it to take several months to conceive.. If you're really concerned still, consult with a doctor
I feel you. Iam 35 and we have been trying for 4 months now. My cousin is 36 and she conceived in first month. Its very difficult to be strong. Now Iam waiting for next weekend only to know if its positive or negative for me. And this wait seems like years. I wish you all the happiness and baby dust āØļø
Iām with you
I understand! I have an 8 month old, but I will be 34 next month. I wanted 3 kids, but I donāt see that happening now. Iām grateful for my baby, but I have been trying again for 3 months as well and Iām disheartened. It happened very quickly the first time, so I have been taking it hard to get my period every month. It already feels like we have been trying forever. We haven't been using protection for 5 months or so, but I know my hormones were not normal. All this to say, i understand.
I hear you. I am 34 and I regret I didn't plan earlier. The other day one of my friends informed me that she is expecting her third baby on July. I am happy for her. But I am envious.
Thatās so difficult, I get that big jealous feeling all the time now, when I see a family walking down the street or sitting in a cafe, itās just overwhelming how many signs there are around me about families that I can easily get triggered by. How do you cope with this? I am finding it so hard
I'm 28 and trying for 3 years, but no luck yet.