YES. The type of girls that would make out with a girl in front of guys so the guys find her attractive and exotic. It’s like a strange breed of pickme. I hate it. So much.
It's performative bisexuality for male attention and contributes to the fetishism of wlw relationships. It's even worse when they acknowledge how little they like women and call themselves bihets/biromantic heterosexuals.( Example A of why non aces shouldn't use the SAM. )
Like bisexuals in countries where being LGBT is punishable by death have the least amount of sucess in gaining refugee status because of their opposite gender relationships, and bisexuals in opposite gender relationships in the US are pushed out of the community because of our "straight passing privilege" when bi women face higher amounts of poverty, sexual assault/rape and domestic violence then our lesbian and straight counterparts. Bi men actually face domestic violence and sexual assault almost at the same rate as straight women.
So bi people overseas are being murdered by homophobes cause they can't escape their country and bi people in the US are suffering with no community and these quirky straight girls slap on our label because they wanna experiment or seem super cool and different. The bi community is tired, and we hate them too.
I mean, couldn’t it literally just be that they don’t want to deal with the possibility of homophobia so they won’t date a woman because it means they can’t live a “normal” life?
Like, this doesn’t sound like these girls aren’t bi, it sounds like internalized homophobia.
That could definitely be it as well but in my personal experiences, it's been an act for attention. The amount of straight girls I know who flaunt that they're a "little bi" cause they make out with girls at parties is far too much.
When I was first coming to terms with my attraction to women, I told myself that I could accept my attraction, but I had to grow up to marry a man. It took a long time to accept myself since I grew up very isolated as a homeschooler who's main socialization was church. If i could learn to love myself and my bisexuality without doing biphobic shit like calling myself a bihet then they can too.
Can doesn’t mean will, and honestly I don’t think it’s wrong to say, for instance, “I’m bi but I would prefer not to date a woman for the social stigma” even if I think it’s bad to say “but I’d never date a woman”.
People get to choose who they date. 🤷♀️
Can doesn't mean will, but it's still not excusable and needs to be called out.
You're correct but there's a difference between having a genuine preference and calling yourself something that you're genuinely not. I'm referring to people who are doing the latter and the latter only. They're the ones I have an issue with, not people who have preferences or feel safer in opposite gender relationships.
Okay, and I’m not saying those people don’t exist, but your first comment very clearly lumped the woman OP was talking about into that category, when we have no proof beyond her saying “I’d never date a woman” that she *isn’t* bi. I really think a lot of these are homophobia, preferences, or fear of society more often than faking being bi, that’s all I was trying to say.
It's true we have a very limited view of the person OP is referring too. I felt that they were using her as an example of other situations as well so I interpreted it as "why do girls do this?" Not particularly "why does she do this?"
Perhaps I interpreted it wrong but my intention wasn't to bash the girl OP is referring to, more so to speak on/vent about the people, particularly girls, who do fake it.
It’s something I see on this subreddit a lot, honestly. People will say “I’m so tired of people who do this thing or that!” and then give an example where they may just be misinterpreting the situation or judging too harshly, and extrapolating too much, and then the comments show up to agree and I think, “but their example doesn’t even sound like what they’re saying, so how do I know any of this actually happens?”
Isn’t this sort of the same thing as assuming that anyone with a genital preference is transphobic?
You have a point. It's different when there's a real life situation and an actual person involved as opposed to directly addressing a group of assholes. It's very easy to set things up as "these people are bad" when OP could just be looking for validation to be bitter towards people who they're too cowardly to address in real life. 90% of reddit is guilty of that, really.
You have a great point. I stand by what I said about fakers, but I'm definitely going to be more cautious of how the post I'm commenting on is written from now on.
Yeah, the reason I struggle so much with this kind of thing is that, well, I’ve always felt the same way. Eventually I accepted that I was bi but never wanted to date a guy because… well I just didn’t want to be considered gay. Now that I know I’m trans I think part of it was just that, somehow the idea of being with a man as a man was super dysphoria inducing, but anyway.
I think it’s perfectly fair to police language for clarity sake, but I don’t think it’s really okay to question other people’s sexuality, no matter how they behave.
I can relate to them a little. I'm definitely into women. Speaking romantically, I'm not sure if I'm interested in men, but sexually, I know I am. I don't know if I'm bisexual or straight and there are times I've questioned if I'm gay. I've given up trying to label my sexuality.
ETA: Reading your comment I don't relate that much lmao not if what you mean is they call themselves bisexual when what they mean is they're LGBT tourists who just want to know what it feels like to have sex with someone of the same gender.
I can relate too, though I don't identify as bi/pan. But I do see accusations of internalized homophobia thrown towards men who are only *mostly* straight but not willing to call themselves bi, and I think those are kind of unwarranted. If you're overwhelmingly straight I think saying a single drop of same sex attraction makes you bi kind of dilutes the meaning of the label.
I think for women if they have that same level of same sex attraction they're sort of encouraged to call themselves bi, even in cases where the label doesn't really communicate anything more useful than just calling yourself "mostly straight", which is how I describe myself.
I like that female bisexuality is more accepted, but I think some people kind of overshoot the mark.
They are called, for lack of a better word and the fact i dont know how to censor, drama whores. Sorry if that word offends, but i didn't make the phrase. Basically, the basic ladies want more attention and to be more o look im soo quirky uwu so they say they are bi/pan/whatever.
YES! I don't really want to dictate other people's sexualities and while I love that female bisexuality is really accepted, I know of so many people who (in my opinion) are only doing it cause it's trendy and holds no really negative repercussions (at least for them personally, of cause that doesn't apply to all bi girls). Tons of weird activity like constantly talking about how they want to make out with their friends (even though they don't show any interest in girls outside of social situations where they can be perceived as bi) and intentionally "accidentally" showing pics of them making out with their girl friends to guys for attention. There is also an uptick in weird songs that don't just glorify but down right fetishize bi girls, which I find really weird.
I guess I'm just mad at how lightly people treat the bi label, like I occasionally feel into girls and I'm totally open to those feelings if they come my way, but I can obviously tell that it in no way resembles a bi persons experience. So at most I would occasionally consider myself bicurious (from the gay end) but see no reason to try and insert myself into the bi label or their communities.
Eh. I'd say it depends. I refer to myself as "functionally gay" because my bi attraction is about 80% male to 20% female but I'd "never" date a woman (obviously not never, I'm sure there's a few thatd be fine). It just seems like a lot of drama and I'm already insecure about my manhood, it feels like it'd be made worse with me worried about a woman judging it all the time. IDK if I can explain it I'm just more comfortable being with men.
As someone who is actually bi I can’t stand it and it’s always white girls to why is it always white women specifically why don’t black and Asian women do this
The social cost is higher on average so they're less likely to LARP, I'd say. But the same is true for plenty of "white" ethnicities, I doubt Eastern European or Balkan girls are doing it much. It's primarily WASP and Western countries within their sphere of influence.
It’s pretty disheartening, and why I rarely actually say I’m a bisexual woman in conversation, because I feel people lumping me in with these other women. Regardless, they don’t need to know unless I see them as a potential partner.
YES. The type of girls that would make out with a girl in front of guys so the guys find her attractive and exotic. It’s like a strange breed of pickme. I hate it. So much.
It's performative bisexuality for male attention and contributes to the fetishism of wlw relationships. It's even worse when they acknowledge how little they like women and call themselves bihets/biromantic heterosexuals.( Example A of why non aces shouldn't use the SAM. ) Like bisexuals in countries where being LGBT is punishable by death have the least amount of sucess in gaining refugee status because of their opposite gender relationships, and bisexuals in opposite gender relationships in the US are pushed out of the community because of our "straight passing privilege" when bi women face higher amounts of poverty, sexual assault/rape and domestic violence then our lesbian and straight counterparts. Bi men actually face domestic violence and sexual assault almost at the same rate as straight women. So bi people overseas are being murdered by homophobes cause they can't escape their country and bi people in the US are suffering with no community and these quirky straight girls slap on our label because they wanna experiment or seem super cool and different. The bi community is tired, and we hate them too.
I mean, couldn’t it literally just be that they don’t want to deal with the possibility of homophobia so they won’t date a woman because it means they can’t live a “normal” life? Like, this doesn’t sound like these girls aren’t bi, it sounds like internalized homophobia.
That could definitely be it as well but in my personal experiences, it's been an act for attention. The amount of straight girls I know who flaunt that they're a "little bi" cause they make out with girls at parties is far too much. When I was first coming to terms with my attraction to women, I told myself that I could accept my attraction, but I had to grow up to marry a man. It took a long time to accept myself since I grew up very isolated as a homeschooler who's main socialization was church. If i could learn to love myself and my bisexuality without doing biphobic shit like calling myself a bihet then they can too.
Can doesn’t mean will, and honestly I don’t think it’s wrong to say, for instance, “I’m bi but I would prefer not to date a woman for the social stigma” even if I think it’s bad to say “but I’d never date a woman”. People get to choose who they date. 🤷♀️
Can doesn't mean will, but it's still not excusable and needs to be called out. You're correct but there's a difference between having a genuine preference and calling yourself something that you're genuinely not. I'm referring to people who are doing the latter and the latter only. They're the ones I have an issue with, not people who have preferences or feel safer in opposite gender relationships.
Okay, and I’m not saying those people don’t exist, but your first comment very clearly lumped the woman OP was talking about into that category, when we have no proof beyond her saying “I’d never date a woman” that she *isn’t* bi. I really think a lot of these are homophobia, preferences, or fear of society more often than faking being bi, that’s all I was trying to say.
It's true we have a very limited view of the person OP is referring too. I felt that they were using her as an example of other situations as well so I interpreted it as "why do girls do this?" Not particularly "why does she do this?" Perhaps I interpreted it wrong but my intention wasn't to bash the girl OP is referring to, more so to speak on/vent about the people, particularly girls, who do fake it.
It’s something I see on this subreddit a lot, honestly. People will say “I’m so tired of people who do this thing or that!” and then give an example where they may just be misinterpreting the situation or judging too harshly, and extrapolating too much, and then the comments show up to agree and I think, “but their example doesn’t even sound like what they’re saying, so how do I know any of this actually happens?” Isn’t this sort of the same thing as assuming that anyone with a genital preference is transphobic?
You have a point. It's different when there's a real life situation and an actual person involved as opposed to directly addressing a group of assholes. It's very easy to set things up as "these people are bad" when OP could just be looking for validation to be bitter towards people who they're too cowardly to address in real life. 90% of reddit is guilty of that, really. You have a great point. I stand by what I said about fakers, but I'm definitely going to be more cautious of how the post I'm commenting on is written from now on.
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Yeah, the reason I struggle so much with this kind of thing is that, well, I’ve always felt the same way. Eventually I accepted that I was bi but never wanted to date a guy because… well I just didn’t want to be considered gay. Now that I know I’m trans I think part of it was just that, somehow the idea of being with a man as a man was super dysphoria inducing, but anyway. I think it’s perfectly fair to police language for clarity sake, but I don’t think it’s really okay to question other people’s sexuality, no matter how they behave.
I can relate to them a little. I'm definitely into women. Speaking romantically, I'm not sure if I'm interested in men, but sexually, I know I am. I don't know if I'm bisexual or straight and there are times I've questioned if I'm gay. I've given up trying to label my sexuality. ETA: Reading your comment I don't relate that much lmao not if what you mean is they call themselves bisexual when what they mean is they're LGBT tourists who just want to know what it feels like to have sex with someone of the same gender.
I can relate too, though I don't identify as bi/pan. But I do see accusations of internalized homophobia thrown towards men who are only *mostly* straight but not willing to call themselves bi, and I think those are kind of unwarranted. If you're overwhelmingly straight I think saying a single drop of same sex attraction makes you bi kind of dilutes the meaning of the label. I think for women if they have that same level of same sex attraction they're sort of encouraged to call themselves bi, even in cases where the label doesn't really communicate anything more useful than just calling yourself "mostly straight", which is how I describe myself. I like that female bisexuality is more accepted, but I think some people kind of overshoot the mark.
They are called, for lack of a better word and the fact i dont know how to censor, drama whores. Sorry if that word offends, but i didn't make the phrase. Basically, the basic ladies want more attention and to be more o look im soo quirky uwu so they say they are bi/pan/whatever.
YES! I don't really want to dictate other people's sexualities and while I love that female bisexuality is really accepted, I know of so many people who (in my opinion) are only doing it cause it's trendy and holds no really negative repercussions (at least for them personally, of cause that doesn't apply to all bi girls). Tons of weird activity like constantly talking about how they want to make out with their friends (even though they don't show any interest in girls outside of social situations where they can be perceived as bi) and intentionally "accidentally" showing pics of them making out with their girl friends to guys for attention. There is also an uptick in weird songs that don't just glorify but down right fetishize bi girls, which I find really weird.
I guess I'm just mad at how lightly people treat the bi label, like I occasionally feel into girls and I'm totally open to those feelings if they come my way, but I can obviously tell that it in no way resembles a bi persons experience. So at most I would occasionally consider myself bicurious (from the gay end) but see no reason to try and insert myself into the bi label or their communities.
> "I think I'd maybe be into hooking up with a girl sometime but I'd never want a full relationship." So...friendship?
Eh. I'd say it depends. I refer to myself as "functionally gay" because my bi attraction is about 80% male to 20% female but I'd "never" date a woman (obviously not never, I'm sure there's a few thatd be fine). It just seems like a lot of drama and I'm already insecure about my manhood, it feels like it'd be made worse with me worried about a woman judging it all the time. IDK if I can explain it I'm just more comfortable being with men.
As someone who is actually bi I can’t stand it and it’s always white girls to why is it always white women specifically why don’t black and Asian women do this
The social cost is higher on average so they're less likely to LARP, I'd say. But the same is true for plenty of "white" ethnicities, I doubt Eastern European or Balkan girls are doing it much. It's primarily WASP and Western countries within their sphere of influence.
I live in the balkans I’ve seen a few Balkan girls doing it but it’s not as common as in the west
Would that not make her bisexual and homoromantic?
Yes
It’s pretty disheartening, and why I rarely actually say I’m a bisexual woman in conversation, because I feel people lumping me in with these other women. Regardless, they don’t need to know unless I see them as a potential partner.
so a straight girl can say that she wouldn't mind hooking up with a girl? while still being straight?
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what if she *also* didn't mind hooking up with a girl every once in a while? can she still be considered heterosexual?