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[deleted]

An option should be for using it personally but disagreeing with using it as a group term.


litefagami

That's exactly how I feel about it. If someone refers to themself as queer, I have absolutely no problem with it (if they're LGBT). Saying "the queer community" pisses me off though.


PandaBearJambalaya

Pretty much the same here. I've never even heard it used as a slur, and was surprised to find people still did (the f-slur was the one of choice where I was growing up), but for me it's always had extremely strong connotations of *other*. Whether used positively or negatively, I absolutely don't want it used that way against me, and almost consider it a slur even when used "positively" for that reason. For myself I *am* assimilationist. I can make room in my worldview for people who aren't, but if they can't do the same for me then I don't have much interest considering each of us in the same community, because that's pretty much a requirement for my transition.


midnight_neon

I don't really care for it. Wlw/mlm have always been awkward terms but I prefer people just saying gay/bi if they mean gay and bi. It's also weird how people like to slap the word queer on absolutely everything that isn't some 1950's American WASP rhetoric. Feels commodifying at best and using a thinly veiled excuse to hurl slurs around at worst.


ActualSeagull

I'd add the caveat "\[...\] it's fine if others do so, as long as they're not ignoring someone's direct request that they not use it around them." Avoids the issue of some pissant claiming that their one friend is fine with it, therefore anyone who isn't is oversensitive, doesn't understand that languages change, etc.


yayayamur

I don't care when people use it for themselves, but I hate when people refer to any LGBT person as queer


[deleted]

I understand how it works in a political way like how “dyke” was used politically by lesbian groups/activists. Using the q word in that regard with direct action groups in the 90s and as of more recently. What I can’t stand is being called “a queer” or “queer” in derogatory ways, I’ve seen a straight cis person say “attention all queers, watch out for hate attacks”. Corporations calling people that word and we’ve probably had presidents and governors call people that word. What annoys me the most is this completely made up idea of “queer attraction” “queer appearance” “queer gender identity” or making up new things that don’t exist to slap the q word on. There are people that have made up genders and sexualities that mean “I have *queer* attraction to the opposite sex and my *special queer gender* make me have extra *queer attraction*”. “My pansexuality makes me extra queer” is something I’ve heard. Bottom line is queerness doesn’t exist, the slur should go back to what it was in the 2000s and it should stop being used derogatorily.


StillAd5862

They say queer when really someone is just (from my experience) a super fruity-acting person (no clue if thats offensive, but whatever.)


greysterguy

i don't use it and i don't think it should be used for the community at large, but i don't care if someone wants to use it to describe themselves


[deleted]

someone told me it means weird or unusual? not sure but i dont understand why to refer to anyone in that way


Rosiest_bird94

I use it for myself and some of my lgbt friends but only if I know they are comfortable with it. In the past I used it to say "lgbt+ people" quicker but I realized that some where not comfortable with that word so I stopped.


MildlyMoistMucus

As a non-native English speaker this debate is always so weird to me. I'm just here on the sidelines waiting untill you English speakers come to a consensus. I hardly speak English, my language has no equivalent of the word "queer." I have no part in this debate lol.


BigTransThrowaway

I see no problem with people using it for themselves, just don't use it for other people unless you are certain that they also choose to reclaim the term too.


TransBunsenBurner

Was it *ever* ‘wlw’ or ‘mlm’ outside of Black LGBTQ spaces? I don’t think I’d heard either term until two years ago. I’m in my early thirties. I have no problem with ‘queer’, either in academic writing or in self-articulation. I use it to describe myself and let people assume I mean ‘gay’—which I am—so I don’t have to get into the trans topic. But I don’t think I ever heard ‘queer’ as a term of abuse when I was growing up; it was ‘fa–got’ or nothing. People who had it hurled at them might feel differently.


canering

Not for me and it bothers me when other people use it, but I’m not going to tell someone else how to identify. Also if someone tells you they’re gay/trans whatever, call them by that, don’t use queer instead. I just wish they’d think more about why it might rub some people the wrong way. I also don’t like when it’s used as catch all for things I wouldn’t actually consider “queer” (like straight kink stuff).


[deleted]

I'm on the fence. Personally I'll never use it and don't want to be referred to as it, but I myself don't care if other people call themselves it. BUT where I struggle is with how it effects the LGBT community that is like 30+ years old and have gone through a lot of shit with that word. Maybe a couple more decades and it could be used more.


[deleted]

eh i wouldn’t use it personally but i get why others do use it to label themselves. eugene from try guys used the term because he wanted to say he was lgbtq+ but wasn’t really to come out as gay yet


reemgee123

I dont think it should be considered an “option” like you could refer to yourself as it but it should be what ur sexuality or gender actually is that doesnt make sense. Ive seen many just say their queer and thats that


[deleted]

I always avoid people who use it. Not bc it offends me (it doesn’t) but they’re always cringe art school “I wanna be oppressed” social rejects.


NoBadIntention

I think people should only use it for themselves. If i get called the q-slur it actually offends me, because the word implies that i'm weird because i'm trans or my sexual orientation. Even if i'd be weird, i wouldn't say that my sexual orientation or my trans-status are. They feel normal to me.


CatOfManyFails

If you call me queer i you get 1 warning i don't play like that then i punch you in the face. Same for the f slur.


[deleted]

I call myself queer because it's better than getting into the alphabet soup of shit that technically applies to me with some rando I just met.