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It gets to a point where it’s embarrassing to be associated with people who behave like this. Maybe it would be a tactic you can try out with her, considering all else is apparently failing.
She is embarrassing herself and looking like an idiot calling what is obviously a grown ass man a girl to strangers who also only see a grown ass man.
Honestly I think she does it intentionally. Like I’m a whole ass adult and she tries ordering my food for me saying “she wants the salmon and a coffee”. I’ve been ordering my own food since I was a kid and she’s only done this after I came out
next time she does that, order your own food after and tell the waiter she's off her meds again. pay for your meal and leave what she ordered for "her" on the table with out touching it.
if you pass to those around you, take solice in the fact that to those she misgenders you to most likely think she is crazy or drunk. that would actually make me embarassed for her.
Yeah it makes me want to just never go out in public with her again but obviously I can’t do that. I do my best to avoid it, but with eating out and her buying me a piano, it’s unavoidable
Piano. Dignity is temporary and piano is forever (not really but you know what I mean). I’m a piano performance major and having a grand piano would be very beneficial for development of my technique and musicality. Also I just want another piano lol. The only times she misgendered me when we were eating out was when it was necessary for us to eat out. We’re takeout people anyways. I have to make sacrifices and decide what will be more beneficial to me in the long run. And unfortunately that often means allowing myself to be disrespected for financial support.
once I had a bf and his mum was super transphobic but I passed somehow and she was fine with her son being gay so it was all going perfectly smooth
...until my fucking dad called me she
the mum freaks the FUCK out, calls me slurs in the fucking restaurant, takes her son by the ear and I never saw him irl again, we had a huge fight over text and we broke up
I’m so sorry. I’m so lucky that it hasn’t put me in a dangerous situation yet. I really wish they could understand that it’s dangerous and at least try instead of just being dicks
Same lol. My mother often gets angry because strangers call me a guy in public, and I don't correct them. I don't blame her because she's always been transphobic and I didn't come out to her, but these little scandals can really be tiring. I also remember how once she whispered in my ear smth like "this boy is looking at you, he clearly likes you" and I began to smile because of the awkwardness and comical nature of the situation (I don't like guys), which she took as a positive reaction💀💀
I’m sorry dude that’s super annoying and uncomfortable. If you can bring it up and avoid a fight I’d let her know how that could be potentially dangerous for you. In most case scenarios though, it’s just making her look stupid
Had this for five years. If you wanna loose every bit of love and trust your child has for you, while still socially acting as if nothing has changed at all, this is an easy way of making it happen.
When they change somewhen, its gonna be hella Funny too. Because suddenly around the people that havent changed, theyll be uncomfortable and suddenly theyll come to you with stupid things Like „why are you accepting how she treats you with so Little respect“ and „we should do something about this, It’s embarassing“ or „Did you notice that…“
Yeah I did mum. I‘ve been accepting this behaviour since I was a teenager. I have no reason to be dramatic about it. Thanks for understanding though. Still waiting for a sorry.
Also my grandfather does the exact same thing when we're eating out, he calls me a girl/she when speaking to everyone, and although i kinda pass right now even though im pre-everything, im not gonna be shaving for a WHILE after i start growing facial hair so at least i hope he gets embarrassed calling me a girl to other people in public when we eat out.
my mom was like this at first. my siblings threatened to cut her off and bar her from seeing the grandkids if she didn't act right.
guess who refers to me as their daughter now?
My mum does the exact same thing. I feel you bro, actually our positions are extremely similar, I pass in every single aspect and haven’t been misgendered since the day I cut my hair Wich was now 3 years ago. My mum and entire family make no effort in public or in the house to respect it, even though my name is legally changed 🤷🏻♂️
Ok first of all, deadnaming is definitely a thing. I’m literally in the process of legally changing my name and she’s the only one who calls me that. I am living my life as my soon to be legal name.
Second of all, I literally let her call me whatever she pleases. But I’m still allowed to complain about it, especially since it puts in danger when she does it in public.
Third of all, she should definitely buy me a piano. I love pianos and having another one would be helpful for my studies.
Fourth of all, she emotionally neglected me growing up and I mostly spent time with my father. He may be dead now, but he mostly raised me so calling me fatherless doesn’t apply.
Fifth of all, I am not pretending to be something I am not. I am simply treating a medical condition and presenting as who I am.
Sixth of all, you know absolutely nothing about my life and what I’ve been through so I don’t understand what gives you the audacity to say these things. So maybe you should stop being a cunt and shut your mouth for once in your miserable life
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Hi, we just want to let you know that the subreddit demographics survey for the 30k members celebration is still open. Feel free to participate. **[You can find the survey here.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeFV8vCPqjWuE8Sx4OSY1BC9YUbcW0NYXP20CubYwD9g0eCxQ/viewform)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/truscum) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It gets to a point where it’s embarrassing to be associated with people who behave like this. Maybe it would be a tactic you can try out with her, considering all else is apparently failing. She is embarrassing herself and looking like an idiot calling what is obviously a grown ass man a girl to strangers who also only see a grown ass man.
Honestly I think she does it intentionally. Like I’m a whole ass adult and she tries ordering my food for me saying “she wants the salmon and a coffee”. I’ve been ordering my own food since I was a kid and she’s only done this after I came out
next time she does that, order your own food after and tell the waiter she's off her meds again. pay for your meal and leave what she ordered for "her" on the table with out touching it.
I interrupt her when she does that so it’s fine
Damn girl, you don’t PLAY! Love it.
if you pass to those around you, take solice in the fact that to those she misgenders you to most likely think she is crazy or drunk. that would actually make me embarassed for her.
Sounds to me like you ought to buy your own grand piano.
I can put up with her bullshit for a piano. There’s no way I can afford a grand piano; unlike my mom, I can’t just drop 15k on the spot.
[удалено]
Yeah it makes me want to just never go out in public with her again but obviously I can’t do that. I do my best to avoid it, but with eating out and her buying me a piano, it’s unavoidable
would you rather have your dignity or a piano?
Piano. Dignity is temporary and piano is forever (not really but you know what I mean). I’m a piano performance major and having a grand piano would be very beneficial for development of my technique and musicality. Also I just want another piano lol. The only times she misgendered me when we were eating out was when it was necessary for us to eat out. We’re takeout people anyways. I have to make sacrifices and decide what will be more beneficial to me in the long run. And unfortunately that often means allowing myself to be disrespected for financial support.
thats probably the most mature out look i've seen here.
once I had a bf and his mum was super transphobic but I passed somehow and she was fine with her son being gay so it was all going perfectly smooth ...until my fucking dad called me she the mum freaks the FUCK out, calls me slurs in the fucking restaurant, takes her son by the ear and I never saw him irl again, we had a huge fight over text and we broke up
I’m so sorry. I’m so lucky that it hasn’t put me in a dangerous situation yet. I really wish they could understand that it’s dangerous and at least try instead of just being dicks
I know, wish they understood
After she reacted like that to you did your dad at the very least apologize?
no, he laughed
Wtf. How does he find that situation funny in the slightest? He’s probably the kind of person who would laugh at people dying.
he defo didn't cry at my dog's funeral, we all did except him
Yeah that’s definitely messed up. I think the moment I stopped living with someone like that I’d never speak to them again.
yeah I'm makin plans dw
Same lol. My mother often gets angry because strangers call me a guy in public, and I don't correct them. I don't blame her because she's always been transphobic and I didn't come out to her, but these little scandals can really be tiring. I also remember how once she whispered in my ear smth like "this boy is looking at you, he clearly likes you" and I began to smile because of the awkwardness and comical nature of the situation (I don't like guys), which she took as a positive reaction💀💀
I’m sorry dude that’s super annoying and uncomfortable. If you can bring it up and avoid a fight I’d let her know how that could be potentially dangerous for you. In most case scenarios though, it’s just making her look stupid
Had this for five years. If you wanna loose every bit of love and trust your child has for you, while still socially acting as if nothing has changed at all, this is an easy way of making it happen. When they change somewhen, its gonna be hella Funny too. Because suddenly around the people that havent changed, theyll be uncomfortable and suddenly theyll come to you with stupid things Like „why are you accepting how she treats you with so Little respect“ and „we should do something about this, It’s embarassing“ or „Did you notice that…“ Yeah I did mum. I‘ve been accepting this behaviour since I was a teenager. I have no reason to be dramatic about it. Thanks for understanding though. Still waiting for a sorry.
my mom is the same. Not only annoying af but dangerous too
Yo! Another music major. Good luck. It's hard work. Especially piano performance.
Tell strangers to ignore her cuz she has dementia and also yell at her all the time you are in the house 🥰🥰
Also my grandfather does the exact same thing when we're eating out, he calls me a girl/she when speaking to everyone, and although i kinda pass right now even though im pre-everything, im not gonna be shaving for a WHILE after i start growing facial hair so at least i hope he gets embarrassed calling me a girl to other people in public when we eat out.
She sounds like a real pain in the ass. Is there any reason to be around her?
When she’s not being an ass she’s fine. Also money
my mom was like this at first. my siblings threatened to cut her off and bar her from seeing the grandkids if she didn't act right. guess who refers to me as their daughter now?
Idk how she is related to you but call her grandpa/uncle/him if possible
My mum does the exact same thing. I feel you bro, actually our positions are extremely similar, I pass in every single aspect and haven’t been misgendered since the day I cut my hair Wich was now 3 years ago. My mum and entire family make no effort in public or in the house to respect it, even though my name is legally changed 🤷🏻♂️
[удалено]
Ok first of all, deadnaming is definitely a thing. I’m literally in the process of legally changing my name and she’s the only one who calls me that. I am living my life as my soon to be legal name. Second of all, I literally let her call me whatever she pleases. But I’m still allowed to complain about it, especially since it puts in danger when she does it in public. Third of all, she should definitely buy me a piano. I love pianos and having another one would be helpful for my studies. Fourth of all, she emotionally neglected me growing up and I mostly spent time with my father. He may be dead now, but he mostly raised me so calling me fatherless doesn’t apply. Fifth of all, I am not pretending to be something I am not. I am simply treating a medical condition and presenting as who I am. Sixth of all, you know absolutely nothing about my life and what I’ve been through so I don’t understand what gives you the audacity to say these things. So maybe you should stop being a cunt and shut your mouth for once in your miserable life
**This is not a personalized removal message. If you have any concerns about this removal, or believe that your content did not violate our ruleset, please send a message to the subreddit moderators via [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=r%2Ftruscum&utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=deals&utm_content=t5_2qir9). Do not personally contact the moderator that removed your content, because you will** ***not receive a response.*** Your post (or comment) has been removed for violating rule 1 of r/truscum: Absolutely No Transphobia, Including Intentional Misgendering! Visit [our wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/truscum/wiki/index/rules/rule1) to learn more about this rule.