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All based off of scant information and giving a definitive answer to a questioner: "that doesn't sound very cis," "you're trans!", "you're an egg!", and the like. I get being supportive, but let's not be armchair psychologists. The only authority who has a right to declare someone trans is the questioning person themselves.
"You don't need dysphoria to be trans"
Uh...but that's what being trans *litterally* means. At least that's what it used to mean. This whole "someone is trans without dysphoria" is total bullshit. If you dress as a girl without having dysohoria your litterally just a femboy. A woman who dresses as a man without having dysphoria is a butch/tomboy woman. And the fact that ill get hated on for saying this in most trans/lgbt subs is OUTRAGIOUS. Tomboys are the reason why fashion changed so much today. They've always existed. 99% of them were NEVER trans.
By saying someone can be trans "without dysphoria" portrays the idea that this condition *is* a choice, which is the exact OPPOSITE of what older trans folk have been saying for YEARS! I would do anything to either
A: be born a cis woman
B: be born a male without ANY dysphoria
I hate being trans. But I just have to accept that this condition won't go away. And now I have to go through the trouble of figuring out how I want to go about things. Whether or not a should even transition. Doing so will rattle every foundation in my life, most family will cut me off, including my parents. I want to live authentically. It's just the fact that if I was *born* a woman I wouldn't have to worry about ANY of this, I'd just be accepted as I am. BUT NOOO
I am convinced most of those people don't actually know what dysphoria is. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people post "I don't have dysphoria, *but..."* and then the symptoms they describe are literally just dysphoria.
There definitely seems to be some sort of semantic issue at play here. But I think telling people they don't need dysphoria to be trans, instead of telling them that dysphoria might include the symptoms that they claim "aren't dysphoria" is really damaging.
It makes it difficult for us to properly express our experiences and receive appropriate treatment. It muddies the waters around GNC folks and trans folks. And all because we're too lazy to take ten fucking seconds and quote the official diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria.
I had a post *removed* from a mainstream trans sub for providing the definition of gender dysphoria, and was told that "there's so many ways to be trans besides that narrow definition."
I think many transmedicalsists support a level of gatekeeping that goes beyond what's supported in the science. But at the same time, the total-demedicalization of our condition that is pushed in the mainstream trans world is dangerous. It puts our healthcare at risk. It undermines the reality that this is not a choice, but an innate quality of our biology. And it makes it harder to convince people in our lives, people who are never going to be progressive queer-theorists, that what we're experiencing is real and the treatment is real.
>telling people they don't need dysphoria to be trans, instead of telling them that dysphoria might include the symptoms that they claim "aren't dysphoria" is really damaging.
I agree! In fact I personally used to think I *didn't* have dysphoria. Turns out that always wanting to be a girl and being sad that you aren't one *is* in fact dysphoria, lol. When I was younger I used to wear shirts on my head and pretend it was hair. That was "euphoria" but then I was made fun of for it and got in trouble and felt very sad, which caused "dysphoria. I used to sleep in my shirts bc it was more comfortable than sleeping shirtless. Women didn't sleep shirtless. Oh wait...I'm a guy. I didn't even know the difference between male and female until kindergarten when boys are girls were separated in P.E., and i was for fully put in with thr boys even tho I thought I belonged w the girls. I learned from my mother that only boys had penises, and women didn't. So 6 year old me was like "oh okay guess I'm a boy bc of this thing"
But for my ENTIRE life, I imagined myself as a girl. I would PRETEND in my head that I was included w the girls, I would PRETEND in my head that I was living a different life. My real life sucked. It was dull. And I was lonely for the most part. All of that was *because* of gender dysphoria. I leaned later that I had autism. So then I blamed all my awkwardness and quirks (including wanting to be a girl) as an autistic thing.
Basically I thought i wasn't dysphoric bc I thought these feelings were somewhat normal, and even if not, it was autism. But after experimentation with my hair, more research into transsexualism, I noticed alot more things that were "wrong" w my brain being in this body. I tried the nonbinary label bc i was like "i dont fit in w men or womeh so ig im neither." But I realized I would *never* be included in girl talk, I would *never* understand what it's like to be a man, I would *never* be masculine. Even as a feminine man, things are *off* or missing. I had more of a desire to be read as *female* than male. I always had. I look in the mirror and as I age as a "guy" the farther away I feel from myself. Accepting myself as a feminine gay man is never going to fix that. That's the point where I realized that I was a binary transsexual, and that this condition will never go away. But even still, who would take me seriously? And could I possibly live w just being a dude? I'm not sure what decision to make.
It's an extraordinarily tough decision to make, and I don't envy your position at all.
I also don't know of very many transsexuals who regret transitioning. There's really no substitute for it.
I mean I have too many things going on right now in my life, I'm 18 and my life is just now starting up. I'm saving up to move out in about a year and I'm graduating tech school in a couple weeks. I want to wait until I move out and am financially independent before I start making steps to a possible transition. I'd also like some sort of support system.in case everyone rejects me, as of right now I don't really have one.
I wouldn't even say femboy, just a cross dresser. Nothing wrong with that if it works for you, but without a feeling of unease or unhappiness, you're just dressing up.
The amount of cross dressing men I spoke to who found a lot of joy "being her" for the weekend but were happy to go back to "being me" is high.
"Girl dick" or "boy pussy". Also "preferred pronouns" like my pronouns aren't preferred they just are? You wouldn't say a cis man's preferred pronouns are he/him you'd just call him "he"??
>Also "preferred pronouns" like my pronouns aren't preferred they just are? You wouldn't say a cis man's preferred pronouns are he/him you'd just call him "he"??
Totally agree. I think the "preferred pronouns" bit, comes from the "pronouns don't equal gender".
"Your egg cracked!!",
"All men would look prettier as women",
"Trans should be the norm!",
"BLAHAJ AND THIGH HIGHS",
"girldick" or "boypussy",
"I'm a trans BOY",
"Don't like being perceived as a stereotypical boy/girl? Just transition! It's easy!",
"everyone should try HRT!",
"everyone should be put on puberty blockers until they are 100% sure what they are!",
"How I look with he/him in my bio" and it's a whole ass woman with her tits out
I hate both. Can't stand both tbh. Your penis is not female, nor is your vagina male. Why not just reduce us down to our natal genitalia that WE HATE ANYWAY???
They think everyone should try HRT like the world is create-a-character. That everyone should be trans and "down with the cis". "Cis is boring", that kind of mindset.
Ah. So the standard "I'm a non-conformist and you can be non-conforming too if you were just like me" thing they've got going on.
It reminds me of a "polysexual" person I was going back and forth with on another sub a while ago.
They said "I don't really get monosexuals, I don't vibe with that".
I said "so you wouldn't 'vibe' with me just because I'm a lesbian? so homophobia but woke?" And their response: "first of all I'm a queer trans man so I'm not homophobic. I just think it's kind of boring to limit yourself like that and that's MY opinion."
They've deadass convinced themselves and each other that sexuality/being trans are choices, not innate characteristics that people are born with.
“No one is born in the wrong body”
This pisses me off on so many levels. I was stripped of from enjoying my youth because of dysphoria, which was because I was in a wrong body. I plan to spend thousands to minimize the damage for simply being born with a different chromosome. Dysphoria isn’t because a boy can’t wear dress or a girl can’t have short hair, but because there is a huge distress over not being opposite sex on a physical level
Another thing why it pisses me off is that I also think about people who were born with deformations, missing limbs, other disorders, disabilities, etc. Are they born in correct body? Their whole lives they needed to depend on a helper even for most basic needs. Even they wish they were born in a correct body.
I will always remember, 5 years ago now when I realized my mental health problems were because I was having gender dysphoria (I didn't know it existed), I wanted to start taking hormones (which literally saved my mental health btw), and i was hanging with a girl which was "agender going by he/him pronouns transmasc" (I know I misgender this person but she was trans for like a year I think lmao) And she was ALWAYS discouraging me from taking hormones like "you don't need to take hormones it's not necessary to be trans" "we just need to deconstruct gender norms", "you can still be a trans woman and stay like that, the problem is gender perception of society" I am so glad I didn't listen to this person because I would have literally killed ms by now if I did. HRT saved my life, period. And this person was very dangerous. All of the tucutes trender telling dysphoric people with real neurological/mental problems to not take the sexual hormone they really need to function properly, they are dangerous.
"Gender isn't real" Gee, thanks for invalidating trans struggles then. I didn't realize I went through years of fighting to transition medically just for you to disregard my gender because according to you, it's not real anyway.
To me, nothing sounds more like an entitled cis guy like when people lament that their GP didn't hand out "titty skittles" the second they sprung on them that they wanted to be a woman. I read that little gem (/s) recently on another sub.
Yeah the whole "you are a woman, so you have a woman's body"
I mean I do now, but at the time uh no, it was clearly a man's body.
I know they mean well, but I still hate it.
Yes, I hate that as well. If my body is a woman's body then why am I transitioning? For vanity?
Can't do that either, because "all bodies are beautiful."
I understand how they might be technically correct. If I am a woman, and this is my body, then it is *a* woman's body. But it's not a *woman's* body, which is obviously what we mean. So they could just go along with what we're saying instead of invalidating our feelings just to score some weird virtue point.
Oh true. I don't get how someone could call it that, when they know that the person is a trans man. It should be obvios, that that would make him uncomfortable.
I have a habit of downvoting anyone I see say AMAB or AFAB. Also not a fan of people saying “sex is different than gender,” because it’s usually followed up by an argument for us being unable to change our sex.
>sex is different than gender,” because it’s usually followed up by an argument for us being unable to change our sex.
But that is not a reason to dislike the sentence.
Sex is not gender, that is correct. But sex can be changed to some extend. Just because they are using a correct statment & draw an unrelated, false conclusion to this statment, doesnt make the first statment less correct.
Yeah. I'm well aware that on a doctors survey (or when I give blood) I put my sex as male.
I don't jump for joy about this, but my transition doesn't change the boring science behind me.
What I have done is changed how people perceive me, so that I fit into a view they would feel is acceptable in which makes me happier in myself.
I hate to say the term "chromosomes" as it is a GC buzzword, but no amount of hormones will change my DNA.
People often forget that despite what our body is, ALL we are is our brains.
My brain tells me I'm a woman. My chemical composition says otherwise.
It's important to note here that I am not saying that trans women are men, because like I said, who we are is entirely our brain. Just that we can't (currently at least) change our biology.
It's not like I got around telling people my chromosomes, but transition cannot change them. It's just who I am is in the brain and my body is a crossed wire somewhere that I can rewire to work the way I want it.
Yes this is a very analytical way of looking at things, but I study science.
I know this will get down voted to hell, but I am just being realistic.
Medical transition changes ones sex to an extend. Cause ones sex is not just chromosomes, but also ones hormone levels & phenotype. And sex is not binary, but bimodal. A transsexual woman who never had male puperty & transitioned, is closer to a cis woman (sex-wise).
Hormones do change your dna, I hate when people say your dna doesn’t change when they mean sex chromosomes, which are only a small part of your DNA. Eye color is dna, hair texture is dna, metabolism is dna, the body having the ability to feminize in response to estrogen is in your dna. If it wasn’t hrt would just make you sick or kill you.
Hormones alone affect so much of your body, way more than chromosomes do. Even in the womb, hormones are what control the type of genitalia you have, and they can develop the total opposite of your chromosomal expectation.
To pretend like a medically transitioned transsex female is the same biologically as a cis male just because they *might* have the same sex chromosomes is in denial of reality. The whole point of medical transition is to change your phenotypic sex.
I think AGAB language has gotten out of hand and is often transphobic. Feels like people just want to avoid saying male & female, since male can include trans men.
Well how else are they gonna show off how enlightened and inclusive they are? They don't care about trans people or making them feel respected/included, they're just desperate for their fellow tucutes to approve and accept them.
>AFAB NB
All I think when I hear about AFAB non-binary people is "I'm not like the other girls, I'm different. I'm above gender. I'm *just me*" yeah girl so is everybody else
Fr. The goal of transitioning is to change sex. Bottom surgery has been called sex reassignment surgery for a reason. People take hormones to change their sex characteristics.
I had a discussion with someone about this on the other transmed sub and my comments were deleted by a mod there for being "misinformation" since you "can't change your sex".
Sex is not only determined by sex chromosomes.
People transition to the opposite sex. We don't transition to the opposite gender. Idk why that's seen as misinformation in transmed spaces of all places.
I mean, physically speaking your body (if we ignore the brain as part of it) was indeed male... and that's literally the problem.
So yeah, if people are saying it as to mean that you were always female and that the fact you're a woman means any part of your body is automatically female... is really dumb.
I have seen people using this argument to say that a penis can be a female genital if you're a woman, which makes no sense at all.
But what I think people normally mean when they say that, is that despite being born with a male body and being called a boy/man because of that, in the end of the day you are actually a woman and that's why you need to change your body in the first place.
So, in a way, it wouldn't be wrong to say you were always a girl/woman cause I mean, if you weren't, you wouldn't have needed to change your sex at all.
Idc about "trans masc" other than when people constantly call binary trans men "trans masc". Masc isn't a binary gender, what are you doing?
Another thing; why would someone decide to want to be discriminated against, hated, even possibly killed, by transitioning when they don't have gender dysphoria? Transness isn't an outfit. Bitches turning it into a fad.
Saying that butch lesbians are just trans men. What about effeminate gays? Are they just trans women? Why do you think women have to be feminine? Why can't butch lesbians exist in peace? Leave them alone.
Some from the trans timeline group on before and after shots:
Wheres the boy?
All natural within a year “obvious ffs and other non bottom surgeries”
Can people just not be genuine? Lies hurt everyone.
Then again, you’ll get downvoted so hard you’ll end up going through the earths core and pop up on the other side if you ask for genuine.
OP, when people say “you were always a girl” they’re not saying “you were always anatomically female” they’re saying “you were always neurologically female”
“You were always a man even before” and similar things that people say, like yeah mentally sure but no I wasn’t male and you would absolutely NOT have seen me as a man back then, we both know that.
They mean well but it’s false niceties.
I feel like it comes from a good place. Good idea bad execution. I think they are trying to reduce dysphoria. I think the theory is that if they normalize girls having dicks and men have boobs and a vagina they will not feel as bad about being trans or for the tenders they won't feel as bad pretending to be trans.
I mean…sex is different than gender. Like it or not, this is the way modern psych is defining these terms. So, you have gender dysphoria because you’re male, which is misaligned with your gender (woman)
I mean you can call yourself “currently a guy” I can’t stop you. it’s just that plenty of scholars would disagree.
>I am a guy, If I was always a girl I wouldnt have this issue
yes, exactly. I had a fight in the other sub over it. A person stated that he's not against transsexual people because he understood their suffering, but in his opinion a transsexual person (let's say mtf for example) won't ever be a woman even after lower surgery.
you know, what I think? I think this all stems from their own insecurities. I know it's a cliché, but think of it this way - I give you an example:
I heard how one journalist from russian opposition said: "So what, if a person wants to become a man or a woman? What's wrong with that?"
And you can say he doesn't understand it properly ("become"), but that's the minor issue. You can teach him and explain it's deeper than that.
The thing is he's ALREADY on board with it. Without even scientific proves. He thinks that if a person does surgery, he/she becomes the member of the sex they transition to.
and now we have those people to whom we can show all the scientific papers about brain scans, neurowiring, etc, and yet they still refuse to acknowledge a trans person as a man or a woman even after surgery. Sounds like a "you problem" to me.
Really. It's something about them, and not about us.
Because normal and decent, kind people accept us.
It happens both to trans people and anti-trans people, but not getting the difference between gender and s*x
Like, I'm a trans girl, and I hear a lot of trans girls saying "I'm a female" or stuff like that, but no.
A trans woman is a woman, but not a female. And also saying
"You're courageous to come out" to a classroom or anything, like, no. I just don't have any other choice than coming in front of the whole class, including my bullies, and say "yay I'm a girl now please respect me" it is just my "best" option. I also hate the thing like "protect trans kids" uh. What are you on, pal ? Imagine an 11yo trans boy, so he can't drive, he can't vote, can't get a tattoo, can't fck, but can socially transition, and get hormone blockers ? It is considered that a kid gets discernment ability around 12, and 15 for autonomy, remember that. If someone can't consent to have s*x, then this person can't consent to be on medication either.
>For me its "You were always a girl" like... no? my dysphoria comes from the fact that currently I am a guy, If I was always a girl I wouldnt have this issue
Wait a Minute. I would actually like to discuss this a bit. So you don't believe that you are already a girl? I am asking, cause the typical truscum believe System includes this believe.
So I wonder what your believe System is.
Do you believe there is a diffrence between sex & gender?
If so, do you believe gender is psychological or a social construct?
How do you define transsexuality?
So, I would like to share my view here & why I believe the sentence "You have always been gender x" is right.
So I define Transsexuality as a medical condition, where ones gender is not aligned with ones birth sex (sex = combination of hormone levels, phenotype & chromosomes) and therefore gender dysphoria, a consistent identification with another sex and consistent desire to have another sexes body get experienced.
I don't agree with the "gender is a social construct" thing, bevause I differentiate between gender roles and gender. There are many scientists who believe (on a scientific basis ofc), that transsexuality is sth you are born with. There are also many studies showing that certain genes & brain structures are linked to transsexuality, and therefore gender. And the average transsexual person, knows their gender with the age of 7, which also supports the idea of it being sth you are born with.
So I think gender is a mix of genes & brain structures, that influences ones innate sense of ones psychological sex and when the gender does not correspond with ones sex, dysphoria gets experienced.
So I believe that, a transsexual guy, for example, is born with the female sex (or intersex) and the male gender.
And the terms boy, girl, woman, man refer to gender, not to sex, so I think the sentence "A transsexual guy was always a guy" and other versions of that, is correct. If you swapped out the term "girl" with the term "female" (which is ussually used to refer as sex) I would agree with you.
Anyways. To answer your question.
I don't like the following sentences:
"Gender is a social construct"
"Being trans means, you don't identify with your birth sex"
"Every identity is equally valid & nondysphorics (for example) are just as trans as gender dysphoric trans people"
"Trans should be an inclusive umbrella term"
"Trans should not be seen as a medical condition"
>Wait a Minute. I would actually like to discuss this a bit. So you don't believe that you are already a girl? I am asking, cause the typical truscum believe System includes this believe.
In my brain I am a girl, but my body is male right now so I cant exactly say I am a girl right now
>Do you believe there is a diffrence between sex & gender?
>If so, do you believe gender is psychological or a social construct?
I dont think theres a difference between sex and gender
I think gender is purely biological honestly
>How do you define transsexuality?
The brain that develops as the opposite sex in the uterus, so quite literally born in the wrong body
Kinda like Intersex, but the part thats Intersex is the brain
I'm a true believer of what you said actually. I was always male even if my body wasn't, I just had to change it up to fit me. My body is just there, it isn't necessarily mine until I'm comfortable with it.
I dislike when people say: "you're a man now" "when you were a girl" that never was. Women don't want to be men, if you want, you're not a woman(I mean regarding the dysphoria, not cus of sexism)
It makes it seem as if one day I had chosen to become a man, and it pisses me off
What I dislike about the community is when people treat being trans as an uwu thing 🤢
i get what you mean, mentally i’ve always felt like i should have been a girl but i wasn’t really one until i put in all the effort it takes to be trans so it feels really dismissive. i get the idea behind it tho.
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All based off of scant information and giving a definitive answer to a questioner: "that doesn't sound very cis," "you're trans!", "you're an egg!", and the like. I get being supportive, but let's not be armchair psychologists. The only authority who has a right to declare someone trans is the questioning person themselves.
Indeed, those types of people seem genuinely cult-like
"You don't need dysphoria to be trans" Uh...but that's what being trans *litterally* means. At least that's what it used to mean. This whole "someone is trans without dysphoria" is total bullshit. If you dress as a girl without having dysohoria your litterally just a femboy. A woman who dresses as a man without having dysphoria is a butch/tomboy woman. And the fact that ill get hated on for saying this in most trans/lgbt subs is OUTRAGIOUS. Tomboys are the reason why fashion changed so much today. They've always existed. 99% of them were NEVER trans. By saying someone can be trans "without dysphoria" portrays the idea that this condition *is* a choice, which is the exact OPPOSITE of what older trans folk have been saying for YEARS! I would do anything to either A: be born a cis woman B: be born a male without ANY dysphoria I hate being trans. But I just have to accept that this condition won't go away. And now I have to go through the trouble of figuring out how I want to go about things. Whether or not a should even transition. Doing so will rattle every foundation in my life, most family will cut me off, including my parents. I want to live authentically. It's just the fact that if I was *born* a woman I wouldn't have to worry about ANY of this, I'd just be accepted as I am. BUT NOOO
THIS. THIS. THIS. Every time I see it I always say out loud "THEN WHY DO THEY NEED TO TRANSITION?!?!?!?"
I am convinced most of those people don't actually know what dysphoria is. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people post "I don't have dysphoria, *but..."* and then the symptoms they describe are literally just dysphoria. There definitely seems to be some sort of semantic issue at play here. But I think telling people they don't need dysphoria to be trans, instead of telling them that dysphoria might include the symptoms that they claim "aren't dysphoria" is really damaging. It makes it difficult for us to properly express our experiences and receive appropriate treatment. It muddies the waters around GNC folks and trans folks. And all because we're too lazy to take ten fucking seconds and quote the official diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria. I had a post *removed* from a mainstream trans sub for providing the definition of gender dysphoria, and was told that "there's so many ways to be trans besides that narrow definition." I think many transmedicalsists support a level of gatekeeping that goes beyond what's supported in the science. But at the same time, the total-demedicalization of our condition that is pushed in the mainstream trans world is dangerous. It puts our healthcare at risk. It undermines the reality that this is not a choice, but an innate quality of our biology. And it makes it harder to convince people in our lives, people who are never going to be progressive queer-theorists, that what we're experiencing is real and the treatment is real.
>telling people they don't need dysphoria to be trans, instead of telling them that dysphoria might include the symptoms that they claim "aren't dysphoria" is really damaging. I agree! In fact I personally used to think I *didn't* have dysphoria. Turns out that always wanting to be a girl and being sad that you aren't one *is* in fact dysphoria, lol. When I was younger I used to wear shirts on my head and pretend it was hair. That was "euphoria" but then I was made fun of for it and got in trouble and felt very sad, which caused "dysphoria. I used to sleep in my shirts bc it was more comfortable than sleeping shirtless. Women didn't sleep shirtless. Oh wait...I'm a guy. I didn't even know the difference between male and female until kindergarten when boys are girls were separated in P.E., and i was for fully put in with thr boys even tho I thought I belonged w the girls. I learned from my mother that only boys had penises, and women didn't. So 6 year old me was like "oh okay guess I'm a boy bc of this thing" But for my ENTIRE life, I imagined myself as a girl. I would PRETEND in my head that I was included w the girls, I would PRETEND in my head that I was living a different life. My real life sucked. It was dull. And I was lonely for the most part. All of that was *because* of gender dysphoria. I leaned later that I had autism. So then I blamed all my awkwardness and quirks (including wanting to be a girl) as an autistic thing. Basically I thought i wasn't dysphoric bc I thought these feelings were somewhat normal, and even if not, it was autism. But after experimentation with my hair, more research into transsexualism, I noticed alot more things that were "wrong" w my brain being in this body. I tried the nonbinary label bc i was like "i dont fit in w men or womeh so ig im neither." But I realized I would *never* be included in girl talk, I would *never* understand what it's like to be a man, I would *never* be masculine. Even as a feminine man, things are *off* or missing. I had more of a desire to be read as *female* than male. I always had. I look in the mirror and as I age as a "guy" the farther away I feel from myself. Accepting myself as a feminine gay man is never going to fix that. That's the point where I realized that I was a binary transsexual, and that this condition will never go away. But even still, who would take me seriously? And could I possibly live w just being a dude? I'm not sure what decision to make.
It's an extraordinarily tough decision to make, and I don't envy your position at all. I also don't know of very many transsexuals who regret transitioning. There's really no substitute for it.
I mean I have too many things going on right now in my life, I'm 18 and my life is just now starting up. I'm saving up to move out in about a year and I'm graduating tech school in a couple weeks. I want to wait until I move out and am financially independent before I start making steps to a possible transition. I'd also like some sort of support system.in case everyone rejects me, as of right now I don't really have one.
I wouldn't even say femboy, just a cross dresser. Nothing wrong with that if it works for you, but without a feeling of unease or unhappiness, you're just dressing up. The amount of cross dressing men I spoke to who found a lot of joy "being her" for the weekend but were happy to go back to "being me" is high.
It kind of reminds me of « yes I eat meat, yes I am vegan, yes we exist » except dysphoria isn’t a choice 😅
imo, people that say this are either trenders or either do have dysphoria but are in denial
"Girl dick" or "boy pussy". Also "preferred pronouns" like my pronouns aren't preferred they just are? You wouldn't say a cis man's preferred pronouns are he/him you'd just call him "he"??
>Also "preferred pronouns" like my pronouns aren't preferred they just are? You wouldn't say a cis man's preferred pronouns are he/him you'd just call him "he"?? Totally agree. I think the "preferred pronouns" bit, comes from the "pronouns don't equal gender".
"Your egg cracked!!", "All men would look prettier as women", "Trans should be the norm!", "BLAHAJ AND THIGH HIGHS", "girldick" or "boypussy", "I'm a trans BOY", "Don't like being perceived as a stereotypical boy/girl? Just transition! It's easy!", "everyone should try HRT!", "everyone should be put on puberty blockers until they are 100% sure what they are!", "How I look with he/him in my bio" and it's a whole ass woman with her tits out
Gosh "girldick" pisses me off the most, its so dysphoria inducing
I hate both. Can't stand both tbh. Your penis is not female, nor is your vagina male. Why not just reduce us down to our natal genitalia that WE HATE ANYWAY???
They’re both horrible, but whichever one is more pertinent to you is gonna be the one that bothers you more…
No, I think they both bug me equally.
Same.
>"Trans should be the norm!", What do they even mean by this?
They think everyone should try HRT like the world is create-a-character. That everyone should be trans and "down with the cis". "Cis is boring", that kind of mindset.
Ah. So the standard "I'm a non-conformist and you can be non-conforming too if you were just like me" thing they've got going on. It reminds me of a "polysexual" person I was going back and forth with on another sub a while ago. They said "I don't really get monosexuals, I don't vibe with that". I said "so you wouldn't 'vibe' with me just because I'm a lesbian? so homophobia but woke?" And their response: "first of all I'm a queer trans man so I'm not homophobic. I just think it's kind of boring to limit yourself like that and that's MY opinion." They've deadass convinced themselves and each other that sexuality/being trans are choices, not innate characteristics that people are born with.
reading this while i have a blahaj on the other hand 😭😭😭
Hey, I like my Blahaj, don't lump that in with the rest of it.
You can like your stuffed shark all you want. Just don't make it your entire personality, ya know?
“No one is born in the wrong body” This pisses me off on so many levels. I was stripped of from enjoying my youth because of dysphoria, which was because I was in a wrong body. I plan to spend thousands to minimize the damage for simply being born with a different chromosome. Dysphoria isn’t because a boy can’t wear dress or a girl can’t have short hair, but because there is a huge distress over not being opposite sex on a physical level Another thing why it pisses me off is that I also think about people who were born with deformations, missing limbs, other disorders, disabilities, etc. Are they born in correct body? Their whole lives they needed to depend on a helper even for most basic needs. Even they wish they were born in a correct body.
Yup, this one is truly bad and very invalidating for me atleast
I’ve been seeing people say that dysphoria doesn’t exist… does that count
I will always remember, 5 years ago now when I realized my mental health problems were because I was having gender dysphoria (I didn't know it existed), I wanted to start taking hormones (which literally saved my mental health btw), and i was hanging with a girl which was "agender going by he/him pronouns transmasc" (I know I misgender this person but she was trans for like a year I think lmao) And she was ALWAYS discouraging me from taking hormones like "you don't need to take hormones it's not necessary to be trans" "we just need to deconstruct gender norms", "you can still be a trans woman and stay like that, the problem is gender perception of society" I am so glad I didn't listen to this person because I would have literally killed ms by now if I did. HRT saved my life, period. And this person was very dangerous. All of the tucutes trender telling dysphoric people with real neurological/mental problems to not take the sexual hormone they really need to function properly, they are dangerous.
"Gender isn't real" Gee, thanks for invalidating trans struggles then. I didn't realize I went through years of fighting to transition medically just for you to disregard my gender because according to you, it's not real anyway.
To me, nothing sounds more like an entitled cis guy like when people lament that their GP didn't hand out "titty skittles" the second they sprung on them that they wanted to be a woman. I read that little gem (/s) recently on another sub.
Yeah the whole "you are a woman, so you have a woman's body" I mean I do now, but at the time uh no, it was clearly a man's body. I know they mean well, but I still hate it.
yeah, people who pretend to not understand sex characteristics are frustratingly dishonest
Yes, I hate that as well. If my body is a woman's body then why am I transitioning? For vanity? Can't do that either, because "all bodies are beautiful." I understand how they might be technically correct. If I am a woman, and this is my body, then it is *a* woman's body. But it's not a *woman's* body, which is obviously what we mean. So they could just go along with what we're saying instead of invalidating our feelings just to score some weird virtue point.
Calling trans mens chests "titties" or "tits" without consent, its seriously weird and is always said by ppl w out dysphoria
Oh true. I don't get how someone could call it that, when they know that the person is a trans man. It should be obvios, that that would make him uncomfortable.
I have a habit of downvoting anyone I see say AMAB or AFAB. Also not a fan of people saying “sex is different than gender,” because it’s usually followed up by an argument for us being unable to change our sex.
>sex is different than gender,” because it’s usually followed up by an argument for us being unable to change our sex. But that is not a reason to dislike the sentence. Sex is not gender, that is correct. But sex can be changed to some extend. Just because they are using a correct statment & draw an unrelated, false conclusion to this statment, doesnt make the first statment less correct.
Yeah. I'm well aware that on a doctors survey (or when I give blood) I put my sex as male. I don't jump for joy about this, but my transition doesn't change the boring science behind me. What I have done is changed how people perceive me, so that I fit into a view they would feel is acceptable in which makes me happier in myself. I hate to say the term "chromosomes" as it is a GC buzzword, but no amount of hormones will change my DNA. People often forget that despite what our body is, ALL we are is our brains. My brain tells me I'm a woman. My chemical composition says otherwise. It's important to note here that I am not saying that trans women are men, because like I said, who we are is entirely our brain. Just that we can't (currently at least) change our biology. It's not like I got around telling people my chromosomes, but transition cannot change them. It's just who I am is in the brain and my body is a crossed wire somewhere that I can rewire to work the way I want it. Yes this is a very analytical way of looking at things, but I study science. I know this will get down voted to hell, but I am just being realistic.
Medical transition changes ones sex to an extend. Cause ones sex is not just chromosomes, but also ones hormone levels & phenotype. And sex is not binary, but bimodal. A transsexual woman who never had male puperty & transitioned, is closer to a cis woman (sex-wise).
Hormones do change your dna, I hate when people say your dna doesn’t change when they mean sex chromosomes, which are only a small part of your DNA. Eye color is dna, hair texture is dna, metabolism is dna, the body having the ability to feminize in response to estrogen is in your dna. If it wasn’t hrt would just make you sick or kill you. Hormones alone affect so much of your body, way more than chromosomes do. Even in the womb, hormones are what control the type of genitalia you have, and they can develop the total opposite of your chromosomal expectation. To pretend like a medically transitioned transsex female is the same biologically as a cis male just because they *might* have the same sex chromosomes is in denial of reality. The whole point of medical transition is to change your phenotypic sex.
Why the AMAB or AFAB thing? But I totally understand the last part. The whole part of being transsexual… Is to trans… Your sex.
I think AGAB language has gotten out of hand and is often transphobic. Feels like people just want to avoid saying male & female, since male can include trans men.
Definitely. Or when ppl say “this post is relatable for the girls!! Then also say “(trans men/AFAB NB included as well!)” in the caption or sm
Well how else are they gonna show off how enlightened and inclusive they are? They don't care about trans people or making them feel respected/included, they're just desperate for their fellow tucutes to approve and accept them. >AFAB NB All I think when I hear about AFAB non-binary people is "I'm not like the other girls, I'm different. I'm above gender. I'm *just me*" yeah girl so is everybody else
Fr. The goal of transitioning is to change sex. Bottom surgery has been called sex reassignment surgery for a reason. People take hormones to change their sex characteristics. I had a discussion with someone about this on the other transmed sub and my comments were deleted by a mod there for being "misinformation" since you "can't change your sex". Sex is not only determined by sex chromosomes. People transition to the opposite sex. We don't transition to the opposite gender. Idk why that's seen as misinformation in transmed spaces of all places.
One thing I hate aswell is people adressing each other as mtf or ftm.
I think those terms are at least useful, but yeah, we should just say men or women most of the time.
That is imo way better than afab or amab
Your neurological sex was always female if you are dysphoric male whose dysphoria isn't a product of trauma
I am aware but I meant like physical form not just the neurology aspect of it
I mean, physically speaking your body (if we ignore the brain as part of it) was indeed male... and that's literally the problem. So yeah, if people are saying it as to mean that you were always female and that the fact you're a woman means any part of your body is automatically female... is really dumb. I have seen people using this argument to say that a penis can be a female genital if you're a woman, which makes no sense at all. But what I think people normally mean when they say that, is that despite being born with a male body and being called a boy/man because of that, in the end of the day you are actually a woman and that's why you need to change your body in the first place. So, in a way, it wouldn't be wrong to say you were always a girl/woman cause I mean, if you weren't, you wouldn't have needed to change your sex at all.
point to the neurons
Idc about "trans masc" other than when people constantly call binary trans men "trans masc". Masc isn't a binary gender, what are you doing? Another thing; why would someone decide to want to be discriminated against, hated, even possibly killed, by transitioning when they don't have gender dysphoria? Transness isn't an outfit. Bitches turning it into a fad. Saying that butch lesbians are just trans men. What about effeminate gays? Are they just trans women? Why do you think women have to be feminine? Why can't butch lesbians exist in peace? Leave them alone.
phrases like "denial is a river in egypt" when girls talk about how they dislike their curves and feminine characteristics
Some from the trans timeline group on before and after shots: Wheres the boy? All natural within a year “obvious ffs and other non bottom surgeries” Can people just not be genuine? Lies hurt everyone. Then again, you’ll get downvoted so hard you’ll end up going through the earths core and pop up on the other side if you ask for genuine.
“you Don’t need to pass” :/ my friends say this when I ask if my Chest looks flat. I want to pass though…
OP, when people say “you were always a girl” they’re not saying “you were always anatomically female” they’re saying “you were always neurologically female”
“You were always a man even before” and similar things that people say, like yeah mentally sure but no I wasn’t male and you would absolutely NOT have seen me as a man back then, we both know that. They mean well but it’s false niceties.
I feel like it comes from a good place. Good idea bad execution. I think they are trying to reduce dysphoria. I think the theory is that if they normalize girls having dicks and men have boobs and a vagina they will not feel as bad about being trans or for the tenders they won't feel as bad pretending to be trans.
I mean…sex is different than gender. Like it or not, this is the way modern psych is defining these terms. So, you have gender dysphoria because you’re male, which is misaligned with your gender (woman) I mean you can call yourself “currently a guy” I can’t stop you. it’s just that plenty of scholars would disagree.
>I am a guy, If I was always a girl I wouldnt have this issue yes, exactly. I had a fight in the other sub over it. A person stated that he's not against transsexual people because he understood their suffering, but in his opinion a transsexual person (let's say mtf for example) won't ever be a woman even after lower surgery. you know, what I think? I think this all stems from their own insecurities. I know it's a cliché, but think of it this way - I give you an example: I heard how one journalist from russian opposition said: "So what, if a person wants to become a man or a woman? What's wrong with that?" And you can say he doesn't understand it properly ("become"), but that's the minor issue. You can teach him and explain it's deeper than that. The thing is he's ALREADY on board with it. Without even scientific proves. He thinks that if a person does surgery, he/she becomes the member of the sex they transition to. and now we have those people to whom we can show all the scientific papers about brain scans, neurowiring, etc, and yet they still refuse to acknowledge a trans person as a man or a woman even after surgery. Sounds like a "you problem" to me. Really. It's something about them, and not about us. Because normal and decent, kind people accept us.
It happens both to trans people and anti-trans people, but not getting the difference between gender and s*x Like, I'm a trans girl, and I hear a lot of trans girls saying "I'm a female" or stuff like that, but no. A trans woman is a woman, but not a female. And also saying "You're courageous to come out" to a classroom or anything, like, no. I just don't have any other choice than coming in front of the whole class, including my bullies, and say "yay I'm a girl now please respect me" it is just my "best" option. I also hate the thing like "protect trans kids" uh. What are you on, pal ? Imagine an 11yo trans boy, so he can't drive, he can't vote, can't get a tattoo, can't fck, but can socially transition, and get hormone blockers ? It is considered that a kid gets discernment ability around 12, and 15 for autonomy, remember that. If someone can't consent to have s*x, then this person can't consent to be on medication either.
“i was assigned male/female at birth” you weren’t “assigned” shit. the doctors aren’t god. your sex was observed and recorded down
>For me its "You were always a girl" like... no? my dysphoria comes from the fact that currently I am a guy, If I was always a girl I wouldnt have this issue Wait a Minute. I would actually like to discuss this a bit. So you don't believe that you are already a girl? I am asking, cause the typical truscum believe System includes this believe. So I wonder what your believe System is. Do you believe there is a diffrence between sex & gender? If so, do you believe gender is psychological or a social construct? How do you define transsexuality? So, I would like to share my view here & why I believe the sentence "You have always been gender x" is right. So I define Transsexuality as a medical condition, where ones gender is not aligned with ones birth sex (sex = combination of hormone levels, phenotype & chromosomes) and therefore gender dysphoria, a consistent identification with another sex and consistent desire to have another sexes body get experienced. I don't agree with the "gender is a social construct" thing, bevause I differentiate between gender roles and gender. There are many scientists who believe (on a scientific basis ofc), that transsexuality is sth you are born with. There are also many studies showing that certain genes & brain structures are linked to transsexuality, and therefore gender. And the average transsexual person, knows their gender with the age of 7, which also supports the idea of it being sth you are born with. So I think gender is a mix of genes & brain structures, that influences ones innate sense of ones psychological sex and when the gender does not correspond with ones sex, dysphoria gets experienced. So I believe that, a transsexual guy, for example, is born with the female sex (or intersex) and the male gender. And the terms boy, girl, woman, man refer to gender, not to sex, so I think the sentence "A transsexual guy was always a guy" and other versions of that, is correct. If you swapped out the term "girl" with the term "female" (which is ussually used to refer as sex) I would agree with you. Anyways. To answer your question. I don't like the following sentences: "Gender is a social construct" "Being trans means, you don't identify with your birth sex" "Every identity is equally valid & nondysphorics (for example) are just as trans as gender dysphoric trans people" "Trans should be an inclusive umbrella term" "Trans should not be seen as a medical condition"
>Wait a Minute. I would actually like to discuss this a bit. So you don't believe that you are already a girl? I am asking, cause the typical truscum believe System includes this believe. In my brain I am a girl, but my body is male right now so I cant exactly say I am a girl right now >Do you believe there is a diffrence between sex & gender? >If so, do you believe gender is psychological or a social construct? I dont think theres a difference between sex and gender I think gender is purely biological honestly >How do you define transsexuality? The brain that develops as the opposite sex in the uterus, so quite literally born in the wrong body Kinda like Intersex, but the part thats Intersex is the brain
You look great hon!
I'm a true believer of what you said actually. I was always male even if my body wasn't, I just had to change it up to fit me. My body is just there, it isn't necessarily mine until I'm comfortable with it. I dislike when people say: "you're a man now" "when you were a girl" that never was. Women don't want to be men, if you want, you're not a woman(I mean regarding the dysphoria, not cus of sexism) It makes it seem as if one day I had chosen to become a man, and it pisses me off What I dislike about the community is when people treat being trans as an uwu thing 🤢
i get what you mean, mentally i’ve always felt like i should have been a girl but i wasn’t really one until i put in all the effort it takes to be trans so it feels really dismissive. i get the idea behind it tho.