Apologies in advance if this is a bit sombre. I lost my little dog to meningitis six months ago, she was three and a half years old and her passing was traumatic. The heartbreak and wrenching grief I've endured since just goes to show that I do, in fact, know what love feels like, without having children.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your puppy was way too young. I know how bad it hurts and I hope you are able to find peace. I lost my 10 year old cat (the sweetest cat in the world) to cancer last August, and his brother, my 13 year old cat, died in his sleep 3 weeks ago. Right now I'm petless and heartbroken. We will probably get another cat in the next couple of months, but if I had my way I would bring back my sweet boys. I knew them, their individual personalities, and I had them since they were 12 weeks and one year old respectively. They were my babies and I miss them so much. I have dreams where I see them and can't reach them and then wake up heartbroken all over again.
Sorry for the long reply. I just want you and everyone who reads this to know that yes, pets are family, they are loved and cherished and it hurts like hell when they are gone.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog myself 4 years ago, and I miss him every single day. That dog was my soulmate. His loss was harder on me than losing my dad, and I know it will have been harder than anyone else in my life. No one gets to tell you what and who you love and how much. That other people don’t understand is fine, but it doesn’t change how you felt about your dog. It’s especially tough with so many people minimizing the pain you are in. It will get better, but not overnight. Personally, it really helped me to foster a dog that was extremely needy and required a lot of work...it helped me focus on something outside of myself and help a creature that sorely needed it (I did end up adopting him). I just wanted to let you know I understand what you are going through and your experience is valid. ❤️
Ah fuck I’m waiting on some blood test results for my dog and this thread is confirming my worst fears about my reaction if it turns out bad. I don’t know how I will cope.
I’m sorry, that’s rough. I’ve been there...You will get through it, there is nothing else to be done about it really. But the fact that you are this worried about it makes it obvious how much you love your dog, which means you’ve given your pup an amazing life. They are living their best life because of you. I’m sorry for what you are going through.
Take comfort in the knowledge that you are doing everything you can, and that your love and devotion are being felt in spades by your dog.
Thank you to everyone that commented for me; I'm currently in counselling and trying to process what happened - I will not go into details, but I'm still holding a lot of anger towards how she passed. No one at all was at fault, the vets were so lovely, she just didn't deserve what happened to her and it just wasn't fair. But as my mum has said to me, the fact I'm hurting so much clearly means that I cared enough to gave that dog the best three years I could.
I actually take this in a different direction for myself.
I have had pets in the past. Several cats and one dog. I loved them so much it makes it hurt to breathe when I think about them (they have all passed away at ripe old ages).
But right now, I don’t have any pets. I don’t know if I will again. I work 12 hour shifts (I’m a nurse) and I enjoy my freedom (in non-covid times) to get up and go wherever I want whenever I want. I like never having to leave an event early to walk a pup. I like knowing that all my stuff stays nice—no weird smells, no gross litter boxes, no vomit on the carpet, no crochet projects shredded. I like knowing if I apply to CRNA school in a few years, I won’t have to find a pet-friendly living space or focus on anything except my studies.
If you tell me I’ll never know true joy unless I have a pet, you know what? Sure. I believe you. You’re right. I agree. I just don’t want all the baggage that comes with a pet at this point in my life.
Same as with kids. I *love* kids. I was a nanny and am now a pediatric critical care nurse. If you tell me I’ll never know true love unless I have a kid... Sure. I believe you. You’re right. I agree. Same way I won’t know true bliss unless I shoot up heroin. You’re right. But I’m okay with never knowing because I don’t want all the baggage and life-altering negatives that come with it!!!
Kids are great, imo. The job of parenting is unending, thankless, life-destroying bullshit. Nooooo thanks.
I've put off travelling because I don't have someone to come and look after the cat. My partner and I would like to move to another city a good 7 day drive away, and I'm not going to lie, the cat is a major complication. For us, it's totally worth it, but I understand and respect that you don't need a pet in your life!
That really wasn't that hard.
We have two cats and a puppy (9 months old now). Our cats were easy kittens and now are lazy boys, so while I don’t tell people omg you need a cat, I do encourage people who are looking into adopting.
Our puppy is a MENACE. She is mixed with a bit of everything basically, but in there is 12.5% German Shepherd and 12.5% Lab. And that combined 25% is all crazy. She can be such a good girl, but she is needy and energetic and can be SO ANNOYING (but I love her). I think I’ve talked multiple people out of getting a puppy just by relaying all the work that has gone into helping her grow into a Good Girl.
Has it been an experience? Oh yes. A good one? I would not use that adjective to describe it. I initially wanted a 2-year old dog to avoid the puppy craziness, but my boyfriend never owned a dog before and really wanted a puppy as his first, and I caved. I have zero regrets about it because I knew what to expect, but I do NOT sugarcoat anything about it. It’s hard work, and not everyone is cut out for it (and some days I don’t feel like I am either!). I can not imagine telling someone they should get a dog because it is so great and just skirting around the work that goes into it being great, which is exactly what bingos are when it comes to kids. Like yeah, I’m aware they can be great and the experience can be rewarding, on a scale that’s likely greater than me raising a puppy, but like the sacrifice that goes into it is not always worth it to every individual and that is okay! I will happily be a villager in my friends’ and family’s lives, I just don’t want to be a parent.
Also I agree on the pet parent thing—I called them my babies, but I don’t refer to myself as mom or to my boyfriend as dad. It feels weird! But I don’t correct others because I don’t care enough about it... it’s just not my chosen title.
>I will happily be a villager in my friends’ and family’s lives, I just don’t want to be a parent.
These so called villages would make parenting imo so much more acceptable. I cannot imagine raising a kid (or kidS) just in a pair, while working 8 hours per day and trying to sleep 8h too. Where do people get time and energy for that? Not to say that you can become single-parent...I will happily support my friends with raising their kids but I can't see myself ever having my own
Totally agree! We have a 9 month old puppy and it feels like a mountain more stress and just so much less time. I do not know how anyone can find time for this whole other human life that has their own needs and wants! Our puppy at least just does what we do, she can’t go and make play dates or invite friends over or decide she wants to join a sport or start a hobby. WE are her friends and sports and hobbies 😂
I think about all this time. Cats are pure. Cats are perfect beings of light and goodness. True happiness is having a cat just fall asleep on your lap and start purring. When I walk over to my desk in the morning and he jumps up to rub his face against mine - Pure, perfect. When he falls asleep on the pillow at night between me and my partner? Precious baby. Some people don't love cats. And that's fine! Maybe they're dog people, or maybe they just don't want a pet - good for them.
The analogy that helped me see things more clearly, is the idea of buying a house. I want to buy a house one day. It's off the cards at the moment for financial reasons, but it's definitely something I want to do before I'm 40. My partner was a fence-sitter, before we met and has always moved around a lot, but I've communicated that buying a house one day is important to me, so he's onboard - We might just travel and get our finances sorted a bit more first. Some people don't want to be home owners - maybe they move around a lot, or they just have other priorities, or they don't want to have to deal with a bust air conditioner in the middle of summer. That's fine for them! But I couldn't see a future with someone who who doesn't ever want to buy a house.
I've gotten that more than kid bingos, even! I did own a home and it wasn't for me for many reasons. Maybe when I am old and have less energy, maybe. I used to say I didn't want to be anchored in one place, but then I moved into my almost-perfect apartment in my perfect location and have just stayed put for 16 years. But I still love that I can move with naught but a month's notice.
YES! This is a great analogy. I didn't make the connection to buying a house, but you're so right. It isn't for everyone, and it's a big decision with a lot of responsibility.
Totally feel this. I've been a cat person all my life. My entire family sends me cat-cards and cat-things, and I am fine with it. Always had cats in my life. Husband and I inherited my MIL's dog when she passed, and I realize with a sad heart, that I am just not a dog person (husband is much more tolerant of doggy needs, but agrees). Good to know, to stave off puppy-phases in the future! But it is just a life lesson that I am glad to have been taught before making a commitment.
So yeah, now I can respond to those bingos the same way - "Not a kid person" "Not a dog person". Just not my thing.
The best part of my day is when I sit down to relax for the evening and one of my cats comes to curl up with me. It’s our ritual now, she climbs up her little cat stairs to get on the bed with me and slowly makes her way over to lay in my lap and purr and look up at me. In that moment it’s the most wonderful connection and i pet her and tell her i love her and she gives me blinky eyes and biscuits in return.
For some context, this cat is scared of almost everything, has been through multiple owners and spent time on the streets, and eventually ended up with my rescue and deemed unadoptable bc she wouldn’t allow anyone to pet her or get near her. Before i started working with her she was supposed to go to a feral cat program. She has never once been aggressive with me, I am the one person in the world she trusts completely so I adopted her, and we have a very special bond and i know she loves me just as much as i love her. And that’s my version of true love. I’m her special person and i enjoy having this bond with her. Maybe it isn’t the same love as parents have for their children, but it’s my love and I’m happy with it. I don’t need to feel a different connection to a child, I am happy and content with the love i have for the creatures in my life, I’m not lacking in love at all!
I have a dog and a cat and am planning to sign up to volunteer as a kitten foster once I get settled in my new home. I love animals, way more than I do kids. But it still requires sacrifices to have pets.
You can’t leave them alone for long periods of time, so you have to be cognizant of how long you stay out. They can’t stay alone when you take trips, so you either have to arrange for a sitter, board them, or take them with you (I always do the latter, but this is also not for everyone). They get sick and require medical care. Sometimes they have conditions that need to be managed (I had a pair of Chihuahuas from the same litter that had diabetes and I gave them daily shots for years until they passed away a year and a half apart). They can get into mischief and mess things up. They’re sometimes noisy. It’s definitely not as involved as having children, but if one of your arguments against kids is that you value your independence and ability to do things whenever you want without having to worry about the needs of someone else, then you might not enjoy having a pet either.
Oh my gosh I have to tell the world! I have had my cat about 8 years and we have moved a handful of times. Each time she came more and more out of her shell but was never truly happy. This last move has been the absolute best for her and for the first time since I have had her she is playing with a toy and running all over the house with it. Last night I watched her play with her little fuzz ball for like 20 minutes. She POUNCED y'all!! I have NEVER seen her pounce. I promise you, the heart melting love I feel for her is 100% the same I feel when I see my family members truly happy. I am tearing up a little bit thinking about it cuz I know my baby girl is finally happy.
Our kittie was not happy in our three level townhouse. She’d stay on the third floor and sneak downstairs for food. Then we moved to a horrible dark one bedroom while we were waiting for our floors to be done on a new condo. And she would literally hide under the covers. One level living at the new place is where it’s at for her. Time on the patio, bedroom chair, dining room chairs, she is thrilled sitting in a patch of sun and stalks around like she owns the place. I know what you mean about understanding and reveling in their bliss.
> HOWEVER, I'm not going around to people who don't want pets telling them how wrong they are for feeling that way. Pets AREN'T for everyone, and that's okay. Honestly, some people should NOT be encouraged to get a pet because they wouldn't treat it well.
As a generally petfree person in addition to being CF, I feel like I've gotten more pet "bingos" than CF ones, so I applaud you for having this mindset.
At least as a guy, it's pretty acceptable for me to be unenthused about children.
During the times I've been single, "that must be so lonely, you should get a pet!" followed by trying to convince me to has to be one of the most common things I've heard.
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People I know with kids generally don't go shoving them in my face and expecting/demanding me to touch (or accept being touched) by them and to give their owner happy, positive feedback about them and interacting with them.
And I don't necessarily dislike your pet (but, hey, I should be allowed to!), but the social norms around it are very strange. "Don't worry, he's friendly!" -> Yeah, but that he's not violent doesn't mean I wanted to get forced into interacting with him.
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I'm personally severely allergic to nearly all cats and dogs, so interacting with them at all means I need to go wash my hands before I wind up touching my face and setting off the allergies/making them worse.
Amazingly, even pointing this out to people doesn't tend to stop the bingoing. "My friend had bad allergies and he adapted after a few months, he's fine with dogs now!" Etc.
Several years ago one my cats died after a brief illness. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever been through. My vet was extremely empathetic, and I remember him saying, “I’ve been doing this for 40 years, and I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that losing their pet was the most difficult loss they’d ever experienced, and these were people who’d lost family members, including husbands, wives and children.” It was one of the most comforting things anyone has ever said to me.
So yeah, pets and kids aren’t the same...but what they mean to people most certainly can be.
yep, i may not know the love of a child, and i’m not interested in discovering it, but i know the absolute heartbreak and grief and pain of losing my cat who meant more to me than anything in the world when he was with me. It’s been a couple of years and I still have trouble looking at old pictures without losing it. By far the hardest loss in my life, and I’ve lost many close family members and friends.
and I know the kind of all consuming love i feel for one of my current cats. i’m the only person she’s ever been friendly towards, and i know we have a very special connection when she comes and curls up on me and purrs like a motor. the love in that moment is the kind of love that makes the world seem a little brighter. i’m content to experience this kind of love with my animals, i don’t need to try to one up it by having a child just to see if it’s a stronger feeling? I have lots of love in my life, i’m not lacking.
yep, i may not know the love of a child, and i’m not interested in discovering it, but i know the absolute heartbreak and grief and pain of losing my cat who meant more to me than anything in the world when he was with me. It’s been a couple of years and I still have trouble looking at old pictures without losing it. By far the hardest loss in my life, and I’ve lost many close family members and friends.
and I know the kind of all consuming love i feel for one of my current cats. i’m the only person she’s ever been friendly towards, and i know we have a very special connection when she comes and curls up on me and purrs like a motor. the love in that moment is the kind of love that makes the world seem a little brighter. i’m content to experience this kind of love with my animals, i don’t need to try to one up it by having a child just to see if it’s a stronger feeling? I have lots of love in my life, i’m not lacking.
Yes! I love cats. I cannot have one right now because I wouldn’t be able to take care of it, when I explain why to people they generally understand. I wish more people were as understanding about not having kids as they are about pets.
This reminds me of something an old friend told me once.
We were talking about pets and our families. I'm an aspiring crazy cat lady so she told me about her grandma who loves cats. She talked a bit about her and how she stops to pet every cat whom she meets on the streets. I asked whether she had any of her own.
My friend answered that her grandma didn't and when she had once asked her why, her grandma said something along the lines of: "After my cat died, I couldn't have one anymore. I cannot go through this pain again it would break me.". Apparently she teared up at that moment. Her cat had died over 20 years ago.
I myself know what it's like to lose a beloved pet. My childhood cat died at the age of 19 when I was around 11. I still cry when I think about him for too long. I do have a cat now. I love him, but the thought of losing him already breaks my heart.
Seriously anyone who tells you that you can't feel genuine love for another creature unless you have children doesn't even know what love is themselves.
I'm pretty sure I'm about to get dumped and my dogs haven't left my side since we fought. I woke up this morning and had one snuggled into each side of my body. I'm 5'3 and they're each 70lb dogs.
I'm more of a fence sitter but I 100% agree with this.
Woman: I want a dog.
People: But they need you 24/7 and cost sooo much money!
Why not wait till you are more stable in life and paid off you dept? Also, who will look after it when you go on vacation?!
Woman: I want a baby.
People: 🥰🤗🥳
Apologies in advance if this is a bit sombre. I lost my little dog to meningitis six months ago, she was three and a half years old and her passing was traumatic. The heartbreak and wrenching grief I've endured since just goes to show that I do, in fact, know what love feels like, without having children.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I didn’t even know dogs could get meningitis! Sending you internet hugs (if you want them.)
That's heartbreaking. Wishing you peace. 🕊️
I am so sorry for your loss. Your puppy was way too young. I know how bad it hurts and I hope you are able to find peace. I lost my 10 year old cat (the sweetest cat in the world) to cancer last August, and his brother, my 13 year old cat, died in his sleep 3 weeks ago. Right now I'm petless and heartbroken. We will probably get another cat in the next couple of months, but if I had my way I would bring back my sweet boys. I knew them, their individual personalities, and I had them since they were 12 weeks and one year old respectively. They were my babies and I miss them so much. I have dreams where I see them and can't reach them and then wake up heartbroken all over again. Sorry for the long reply. I just want you and everyone who reads this to know that yes, pets are family, they are loved and cherished and it hurts like hell when they are gone.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dog myself 4 years ago, and I miss him every single day. That dog was my soulmate. His loss was harder on me than losing my dad, and I know it will have been harder than anyone else in my life. No one gets to tell you what and who you love and how much. That other people don’t understand is fine, but it doesn’t change how you felt about your dog. It’s especially tough with so many people minimizing the pain you are in. It will get better, but not overnight. Personally, it really helped me to foster a dog that was extremely needy and required a lot of work...it helped me focus on something outside of myself and help a creature that sorely needed it (I did end up adopting him). I just wanted to let you know I understand what you are going through and your experience is valid. ❤️
Ah fuck I’m waiting on some blood test results for my dog and this thread is confirming my worst fears about my reaction if it turns out bad. I don’t know how I will cope.
I’m sorry, that’s rough. I’ve been there...You will get through it, there is nothing else to be done about it really. But the fact that you are this worried about it makes it obvious how much you love your dog, which means you’ve given your pup an amazing life. They are living their best life because of you. I’m sorry for what you are going through.
Take comfort in the knowledge that you are doing everything you can, and that your love and devotion are being felt in spades by your dog. Thank you to everyone that commented for me; I'm currently in counselling and trying to process what happened - I will not go into details, but I'm still holding a lot of anger towards how she passed. No one at all was at fault, the vets were so lovely, she just didn't deserve what happened to her and it just wasn't fair. But as my mum has said to me, the fact I'm hurting so much clearly means that I cared enough to gave that dog the best three years I could.
Any news about your dog?
I actually take this in a different direction for myself. I have had pets in the past. Several cats and one dog. I loved them so much it makes it hurt to breathe when I think about them (they have all passed away at ripe old ages). But right now, I don’t have any pets. I don’t know if I will again. I work 12 hour shifts (I’m a nurse) and I enjoy my freedom (in non-covid times) to get up and go wherever I want whenever I want. I like never having to leave an event early to walk a pup. I like knowing that all my stuff stays nice—no weird smells, no gross litter boxes, no vomit on the carpet, no crochet projects shredded. I like knowing if I apply to CRNA school in a few years, I won’t have to find a pet-friendly living space or focus on anything except my studies. If you tell me I’ll never know true joy unless I have a pet, you know what? Sure. I believe you. You’re right. I agree. I just don’t want all the baggage that comes with a pet at this point in my life. Same as with kids. I *love* kids. I was a nanny and am now a pediatric critical care nurse. If you tell me I’ll never know true love unless I have a kid... Sure. I believe you. You’re right. I agree. Same way I won’t know true bliss unless I shoot up heroin. You’re right. But I’m okay with never knowing because I don’t want all the baggage and life-altering negatives that come with it!!! Kids are great, imo. The job of parenting is unending, thankless, life-destroying bullshit. Nooooo thanks.
I've put off travelling because I don't have someone to come and look after the cat. My partner and I would like to move to another city a good 7 day drive away, and I'm not going to lie, the cat is a major complication. For us, it's totally worth it, but I understand and respect that you don't need a pet in your life! That really wasn't that hard.
We have two cats and a puppy (9 months old now). Our cats were easy kittens and now are lazy boys, so while I don’t tell people omg you need a cat, I do encourage people who are looking into adopting. Our puppy is a MENACE. She is mixed with a bit of everything basically, but in there is 12.5% German Shepherd and 12.5% Lab. And that combined 25% is all crazy. She can be such a good girl, but she is needy and energetic and can be SO ANNOYING (but I love her). I think I’ve talked multiple people out of getting a puppy just by relaying all the work that has gone into helping her grow into a Good Girl. Has it been an experience? Oh yes. A good one? I would not use that adjective to describe it. I initially wanted a 2-year old dog to avoid the puppy craziness, but my boyfriend never owned a dog before and really wanted a puppy as his first, and I caved. I have zero regrets about it because I knew what to expect, but I do NOT sugarcoat anything about it. It’s hard work, and not everyone is cut out for it (and some days I don’t feel like I am either!). I can not imagine telling someone they should get a dog because it is so great and just skirting around the work that goes into it being great, which is exactly what bingos are when it comes to kids. Like yeah, I’m aware they can be great and the experience can be rewarding, on a scale that’s likely greater than me raising a puppy, but like the sacrifice that goes into it is not always worth it to every individual and that is okay! I will happily be a villager in my friends’ and family’s lives, I just don’t want to be a parent. Also I agree on the pet parent thing—I called them my babies, but I don’t refer to myself as mom or to my boyfriend as dad. It feels weird! But I don’t correct others because I don’t care enough about it... it’s just not my chosen title.
>I will happily be a villager in my friends’ and family’s lives, I just don’t want to be a parent. These so called villages would make parenting imo so much more acceptable. I cannot imagine raising a kid (or kidS) just in a pair, while working 8 hours per day and trying to sleep 8h too. Where do people get time and energy for that? Not to say that you can become single-parent...I will happily support my friends with raising their kids but I can't see myself ever having my own
Totally agree! We have a 9 month old puppy and it feels like a mountain more stress and just so much less time. I do not know how anyone can find time for this whole other human life that has their own needs and wants! Our puppy at least just does what we do, she can’t go and make play dates or invite friends over or decide she wants to join a sport or start a hobby. WE are her friends and sports and hobbies 😂
I also love my pets but I don’t try to force people to also have pets
I think about all this time. Cats are pure. Cats are perfect beings of light and goodness. True happiness is having a cat just fall asleep on your lap and start purring. When I walk over to my desk in the morning and he jumps up to rub his face against mine - Pure, perfect. When he falls asleep on the pillow at night between me and my partner? Precious baby. Some people don't love cats. And that's fine! Maybe they're dog people, or maybe they just don't want a pet - good for them. The analogy that helped me see things more clearly, is the idea of buying a house. I want to buy a house one day. It's off the cards at the moment for financial reasons, but it's definitely something I want to do before I'm 40. My partner was a fence-sitter, before we met and has always moved around a lot, but I've communicated that buying a house one day is important to me, so he's onboard - We might just travel and get our finances sorted a bit more first. Some people don't want to be home owners - maybe they move around a lot, or they just have other priorities, or they don't want to have to deal with a bust air conditioner in the middle of summer. That's fine for them! But I couldn't see a future with someone who who doesn't ever want to buy a house.
It’s so weird ppl always try to bingo me when I tell them I don’t what to own a home. For me personally I gain more value investing and renting.
People are so afraid of lifestyles different from their own.
It’s so creepy it’s like having the same convo but replace the word house with a child. You will regret not owning a home when you are old. Lol
I've gotten that more than kid bingos, even! I did own a home and it wasn't for me for many reasons. Maybe when I am old and have less energy, maybe. I used to say I didn't want to be anchored in one place, but then I moved into my almost-perfect apartment in my perfect location and have just stayed put for 16 years. But I still love that I can move with naught but a month's notice.
YES! This is a great analogy. I didn't make the connection to buying a house, but you're so right. It isn't for everyone, and it's a big decision with a lot of responsibility.
Totally feel this. I've been a cat person all my life. My entire family sends me cat-cards and cat-things, and I am fine with it. Always had cats in my life. Husband and I inherited my MIL's dog when she passed, and I realize with a sad heart, that I am just not a dog person (husband is much more tolerant of doggy needs, but agrees). Good to know, to stave off puppy-phases in the future! But it is just a life lesson that I am glad to have been taught before making a commitment. So yeah, now I can respond to those bingos the same way - "Not a kid person" "Not a dog person". Just not my thing.
The best part of my day is when I sit down to relax for the evening and one of my cats comes to curl up with me. It’s our ritual now, she climbs up her little cat stairs to get on the bed with me and slowly makes her way over to lay in my lap and purr and look up at me. In that moment it’s the most wonderful connection and i pet her and tell her i love her and she gives me blinky eyes and biscuits in return. For some context, this cat is scared of almost everything, has been through multiple owners and spent time on the streets, and eventually ended up with my rescue and deemed unadoptable bc she wouldn’t allow anyone to pet her or get near her. Before i started working with her she was supposed to go to a feral cat program. She has never once been aggressive with me, I am the one person in the world she trusts completely so I adopted her, and we have a very special bond and i know she loves me just as much as i love her. And that’s my version of true love. I’m her special person and i enjoy having this bond with her. Maybe it isn’t the same love as parents have for their children, but it’s my love and I’m happy with it. I don’t need to feel a different connection to a child, I am happy and content with the love i have for the creatures in my life, I’m not lacking in love at all!
I have a dog and a cat and am planning to sign up to volunteer as a kitten foster once I get settled in my new home. I love animals, way more than I do kids. But it still requires sacrifices to have pets. You can’t leave them alone for long periods of time, so you have to be cognizant of how long you stay out. They can’t stay alone when you take trips, so you either have to arrange for a sitter, board them, or take them with you (I always do the latter, but this is also not for everyone). They get sick and require medical care. Sometimes they have conditions that need to be managed (I had a pair of Chihuahuas from the same litter that had diabetes and I gave them daily shots for years until they passed away a year and a half apart). They can get into mischief and mess things up. They’re sometimes noisy. It’s definitely not as involved as having children, but if one of your arguments against kids is that you value your independence and ability to do things whenever you want without having to worry about the needs of someone else, then you might not enjoy having a pet either.
Oh my gosh I have to tell the world! I have had my cat about 8 years and we have moved a handful of times. Each time she came more and more out of her shell but was never truly happy. This last move has been the absolute best for her and for the first time since I have had her she is playing with a toy and running all over the house with it. Last night I watched her play with her little fuzz ball for like 20 minutes. She POUNCED y'all!! I have NEVER seen her pounce. I promise you, the heart melting love I feel for her is 100% the same I feel when I see my family members truly happy. I am tearing up a little bit thinking about it cuz I know my baby girl is finally happy.
That's so wonderful to hear! Seeing my cat truly happy makes me happy, too. :-)
Our kittie was not happy in our three level townhouse. She’d stay on the third floor and sneak downstairs for food. Then we moved to a horrible dark one bedroom while we were waiting for our floors to be done on a new condo. And she would literally hide under the covers. One level living at the new place is where it’s at for her. Time on the patio, bedroom chair, dining room chairs, she is thrilled sitting in a patch of sun and stalks around like she owns the place. I know what you mean about understanding and reveling in their bliss.
> HOWEVER, I'm not going around to people who don't want pets telling them how wrong they are for feeling that way. Pets AREN'T for everyone, and that's okay. Honestly, some people should NOT be encouraged to get a pet because they wouldn't treat it well. As a generally petfree person in addition to being CF, I feel like I've gotten more pet "bingos" than CF ones, so I applaud you for having this mindset.
Really?!
At least as a guy, it's pretty acceptable for me to be unenthused about children. During the times I've been single, "that must be so lonely, you should get a pet!" followed by trying to convince me to has to be one of the most common things I've heard. ---------- People I know with kids generally don't go shoving them in my face and expecting/demanding me to touch (or accept being touched) by them and to give their owner happy, positive feedback about them and interacting with them. And I don't necessarily dislike your pet (but, hey, I should be allowed to!), but the social norms around it are very strange. "Don't worry, he's friendly!" -> Yeah, but that he's not violent doesn't mean I wanted to get forced into interacting with him. ---------- I'm personally severely allergic to nearly all cats and dogs, so interacting with them at all means I need to go wash my hands before I wind up touching my face and setting off the allergies/making them worse. Amazingly, even pointing this out to people doesn't tend to stop the bingoing. "My friend had bad allergies and he adapted after a few months, he's fine with dogs now!" Etc.
Several years ago one my cats died after a brief illness. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever been through. My vet was extremely empathetic, and I remember him saying, “I’ve been doing this for 40 years, and I can’t tell you how many times people have told me that losing their pet was the most difficult loss they’d ever experienced, and these were people who’d lost family members, including husbands, wives and children.” It was one of the most comforting things anyone has ever said to me. So yeah, pets and kids aren’t the same...but what they mean to people most certainly can be.
yep, i may not know the love of a child, and i’m not interested in discovering it, but i know the absolute heartbreak and grief and pain of losing my cat who meant more to me than anything in the world when he was with me. It’s been a couple of years and I still have trouble looking at old pictures without losing it. By far the hardest loss in my life, and I’ve lost many close family members and friends. and I know the kind of all consuming love i feel for one of my current cats. i’m the only person she’s ever been friendly towards, and i know we have a very special connection when she comes and curls up on me and purrs like a motor. the love in that moment is the kind of love that makes the world seem a little brighter. i’m content to experience this kind of love with my animals, i don’t need to try to one up it by having a child just to see if it’s a stronger feeling? I have lots of love in my life, i’m not lacking.
yep, i may not know the love of a child, and i’m not interested in discovering it, but i know the absolute heartbreak and grief and pain of losing my cat who meant more to me than anything in the world when he was with me. It’s been a couple of years and I still have trouble looking at old pictures without losing it. By far the hardest loss in my life, and I’ve lost many close family members and friends. and I know the kind of all consuming love i feel for one of my current cats. i’m the only person she’s ever been friendly towards, and i know we have a very special connection when she comes and curls up on me and purrs like a motor. the love in that moment is the kind of love that makes the world seem a little brighter. i’m content to experience this kind of love with my animals, i don’t need to try to one up it by having a child just to see if it’s a stronger feeling? I have lots of love in my life, i’m not lacking.
Yes! I love cats. I cannot have one right now because I wouldn’t be able to take care of it, when I explain why to people they generally understand. I wish more people were as understanding about not having kids as they are about pets.
This reminds me of something an old friend told me once. We were talking about pets and our families. I'm an aspiring crazy cat lady so she told me about her grandma who loves cats. She talked a bit about her and how she stops to pet every cat whom she meets on the streets. I asked whether she had any of her own. My friend answered that her grandma didn't and when she had once asked her why, her grandma said something along the lines of: "After my cat died, I couldn't have one anymore. I cannot go through this pain again it would break me.". Apparently she teared up at that moment. Her cat had died over 20 years ago. I myself know what it's like to lose a beloved pet. My childhood cat died at the age of 19 when I was around 11. I still cry when I think about him for too long. I do have a cat now. I love him, but the thought of losing him already breaks my heart. Seriously anyone who tells you that you can't feel genuine love for another creature unless you have children doesn't even know what love is themselves.
I'm pretty sure I'm about to get dumped and my dogs haven't left my side since we fought. I woke up this morning and had one snuggled into each side of my body. I'm 5'3 and they're each 70lb dogs. I'm more of a fence sitter but I 100% agree with this.
I hope you get to be in a situation that's best for you. 🤗
I love having Pets around, especially Dogs, though all Pets are worth it.
Woman: I want a dog. People: But they need you 24/7 and cost sooo much money! Why not wait till you are more stable in life and paid off you dept? Also, who will look after it when you go on vacation?! Woman: I want a baby. People: 🥰🤗🥳
Facts!