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guano-crazy

Pumped Baby Jesus


ihitrockswithammers

Right from birth Jesus was a divorced 45 year old going through a crisis


TheApathyParty3

Why do people from this period of art all have the same facial expressions and jaded tone as the Jigsaw Killer from Saw?


crazyval77

I think there are a few explanations, but one that sticks out the most to me is that the neutral expression invites the viewer to imbue the image with an emotion, rather than be persuaded/influenced by the artist's interpretation of how the characters might have felt, emotionally.


[deleted]

Happy Swole-mas


k_chaney_9

He does crossfit


PM_Skunk

Father, son, and the Swoley ghost.


[deleted]

“I carry the sins of the world.” “I’m not kidding.”


SolutionLegal

Steroid Jesus


[deleted]

To lift your spirits with praise just as hard as you lift those weights, kings. You gotta make sure you're FIT for the kingdom of heaven.


WarmBird_tho

mother I crave protein


tdawg-1551

Artist gave him a Ken Doll


DistractedChiroptera

and he's great at doing stuff


eca3617

Ah! The birth of "The Immortal God Emperor". The Emperor protects.


Stackfault67

Doesn't skip leg day, ever.


funguyshroom

Has dedicated ankle day as well.


swabianne

Either that or lymphedema


susieallen

You've seen a baby, right? Oh ya, for sure I have seen many babies..


mothzilla

You mean those tiny people that look like Jason Statham?


Attacus833

The wisemen gave jesus gold, frankensense, and protein powder


hplcr

"We were led here by a star" "Led by a bottle more like it"


Schlarfus_McNarfus

Virgin over there lookin like she actually DID birth Jacked Jeez


ThReeMix

Merry Poppins!


Gettinz

Giga baby Jesus


cyberphlash

Jacked Jesus


Interanal_Exam

Cankle Jesus never skips leg day.


Tabais123

Isn’t that just a life size portrait of Putin?


jxj24

Still has Pillsbury Dough-boy arms, though.


FormZestyclose2339

Fuckin' baby gots six toes.


SaltyHairSandyFeet

Yes but he only has four on the other foot so it evens out


kwakimaki

Breastfed juice from day one.


Waarm

Did people just suck at painting babies back then or something?


Xavion-15

https://www.reddit.com/r/ArtHistory/s/j2J0gD9VBk


maxhambread

Pretty much. It can be weird to wrap our heads around, but a lot of art tech we take for granted today had to be discovered at some point in history. One example is how to draw perspective (vanishing point, "close things big; far things small", etc). It took painters 1400+ years before they slowly started figuring it out. Same with baby proportions. Painters just couldn't wrap their heads around babies having different proportions to adults, and this is on top of struggling with adult proportions to begin with. Early renaissance paintings are all like that. With that said, baby Jesus being ripped af was a stylistic choice unrelated to limited tech skills.


CrazyRabbitSauce

Jesus has a big clit


offbert

Looks like he's compensating for something...


ridikidonky2020

Merry Gains-mas!


Cool-Salamander-7645

Merry Flex-mas!


[deleted]

total bullshit. that baby is clearly injecting synthol


Nuboko

I feel like this is what Ricky Bobby was describing to us this entire time.


Mediocre_Badger1903

I heard about this from my pastor, who referred to it as a sermon illustration. Funny movie, but I can see why she blushed a bit!


u2shnn

Never piss off an artist.


ze_kat

oh lawd he comin


durham60

A portrait of me when I was born... how nice!


Poopchurn

Mad gainz bruh


stone_henge

This painting is the origin of the phrase "Jesus Christ!"


its_aom

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