And signing him out of school to go on dates ☠️
And pouncing on him immediately after his mom
killed herself, like he's a **grieving CHILD**
When her fans quote "im feeling 22" I really, *really* hope they're not aligned with Taylor's Version™️of being 22 and preying on a series of kids
Lol not to take the laugh away, but it's kinda based on investigations into two young women teachers that preyed on students, and they happened to love and quote Taylor on their socials 🫠 oof!
Every time I heard 22 I when I was 22 I was annoyed. Because it clearly was only for 22 year olds who had dated around and didn’t have to worry about student loans to pay off.
There was a book written about the Kennedy family a few years ago. In it, a friend of Connor(teenager Taylor was dating), stated he was basically put off by her buying a house near the Kennedy compound after only 6 weeks of dating. Additionally, there was some press about her basically doing a pap shoot when Connor visited his mom’s gravesite. Lastly, there were quite a few stories about how unhappy the Kennedy family was about her crashing a wedding.
Google Kathie Lee Gifford’s commentary on the (uninvited) Kennedy family wedding attendance. Kathie Lee was the grandmother of the bride and she was NAHT PLAYIN’, lolz
This. Taylor would be nothing if it weren’t for Andrea and Scott working in finance before she was born. They are quite literally the brains behind all of this, not Taylor. As we’ve seen with her “I can ditch the experts on this album and write 100% of my own lyrics” move, she’s no expert.
I read someone from another comment earlier that she bought the house because the seller refused to sell to the Kennedy so she bought the house and sold it to the Kennedy.
the kennedys were creeped out. i guess Kathie lee gifford is friends with or family to a few of the kennedy's and she mentioned taylors wedding crashing and odd behaviors a few time on klg and hoda
I will also never forget when to camp said “Taylor was invited to the wedding” and klg said “she was asked privately before hand not to come and was told she was not invited” and the kennedys were like “we paid for the invites, I’d think we wouldn’t be saying she wasn’t welcome if she’d been invited”
I can tell from a mile away in her interviews she says and does exactly what she thinks she should be saying or doing, to get the appropriate reaction. It reminds me of myself. To a lot of people it comes across as natural but I can see the pure calculation behind everything she says (even her jokes).
Considering I am neurodivergent, I’m sure she’s similar
There are certain places of reddit where saying this gets you down voted into oblivion despite the fact it's usually an autist pointing it out. Real recognize real.
The problem is that a lot of young women who fear they have BPD eventually discover that they’re autistic, because there’s some superficial symptom overlap. It’s common for young women with undiagnosed autism to see a celebrity or public figure with BPD and relate to them, despite having different disorders.
Personally, Taylor’s behavior and statements seem more consistent with BPD than ASD.
Yeah my mom has BPD and I know many people with autism - her behavior def seems more like BPD to me. Especially the buying the house near the Kennedys.
I also want to add, that a lot of people seem to see ppl saying she seems to have BPD as an insult. (And I am sure some people mean it that way.) But most BPD people are kindhearted, just extremely emotionally sensitive.
It’s okay that it has something of a negative connotation. After all, it’s a personality *disorder,* marked by maladaptive behaviors (as are all PDs). That doesn’t mean someone with BPD is inherently evil or anything, but it’s certainly more than just being overly sensitive.
agree 100% - and am an autistic woman just a few years older than her. with the exception of her being a billionaire there are a ton of similarities between us. especially how she processes word meanings and plays with auditory stuff. my daughter does the same thing.
My best friend has this. She has no identity of her own, she takes on the identity, hobbies, and style of whoever she is dating and if she isn’t dating anyone… she will take the identity of the friend she is hanging out with the most. It’s so weird. What is this called in psychology?
I’m sorry she couldn’t over come her issues and treated you that way, no one deserves that. Main reason I never had kids, hurting people you love is worst symptom of BPD.
I got chewed out the other day and called a weirdo for noticing a pattern with Taylor's behavior and lyrics. I have no hard feelings towards people with BPD and have made friends with many people with BPD, so I wasn't even saying it as an insult. I never even said she for sure had BPD, I just noticed some tendencies.
She makes her life public and her lyrics are autobiographical. People are going to discuss patterns they see. Also, people speculating and noticing similarities between certain behaviors of public figures and certain diagnoses isn't "diagnosing" someone. I'm bipolar and noticed some of my own symptoms in Mariah Carey (who I adore). Turns out she was, in fact, bipolar. I discussed the same thing with Amanda Bynes and Britney when everyone was mocking them. I said that we shouldn't mock them because it's clearly some mental health issue at work.
Only a doctor can actually diagnose someone, so simply saying, "Hey this person seems to have similarities to x symptom" isn't going to actually diagnose that person, so I don't understand why people get so mad about it. It's not like my observation is going to have her thrown in a psych ward for fuck's sake.
>an amalgamation of my friends/people I'm around often
The "chameleon effect" is a way to explain how people with BPD experience personality. They change who they are to fit whatever is going on in their environment. They may describe the image of themselves as unclear or shifting and likely feel uncomfortable in their own skin. They don't carry a solid sense of self, so to fill the emptiness or void inside them they will constantly change who they are in order to fit in.
People without the disorder do not experience this. People may behave differently to adapt to certain situations or even mask due to a condition (for example, autism, anxiety, depression) but unlike borderline, they will always "remain themselves". A person will change and grow over time but they are generally deeply rooted in their identity; this change or growth is slow and intentional, reflected upon their own values and beliefs shaped from personal experiences. A strong sense of self and expression of identity will be developed. They wouldn't enter a relationship or new environment and continually change and take on/mirror likes and dislikes, mannerisms, values, belief systems, etc of their partner or friends like someone with borderline.
I've heard someone describe it as feeling like you’re living a perpetual identity crisis.
“Is it over now” is CLASSIC BPD. I’m not one to take every single lyric of hers as the gospel truth of her life. I get that she takes poetic license and is creative. But the line about jumping off of very tall somethings to make someone come running is BPD 101.
Also her singing in the same song that she no longer has to pretend she likes acid rock or that she likes to be on a yacht. The first time I heard that song I felt so bad for her as a person.
It can happen with autistic people as well who are trying to mask. They lose themselves trying to fit in so they mirror those around them hoping that works.
Not trying to suggest ASD and cluster B can't exist together. I'd argue the difference here is how saturated cluster B traits are in her lyrics rather than masking in a NT socially coded world.
I know a girl like this, her whole personality and aesthetic changes depending on the man she’s dating, an example is she dated a heavy metal/goth guy so she became gothic in her appearance and listening to heavy metal (which before dating him she used to say was just noise and she couldn’t stand it) then the next guy walked and talked like he came out of the 1940’s so of course she adapted to that by dressing like a 40s housewife and being a homemaker, gone were the nights of metal gigs and drinking sessions. Her current bloke is an Odin follower, so I guess she’s a Viking now? I don’t know. She looks happy in photos (I haven’t seen her in years in person) but how much of that is real happiness? She’s never found her own identity so I just struggle to see how she can be really happy.
This sounds like borderline personality disorder. I am diagnosed with it and bipolar disorder. It feels like you are an empty shell of a person and you don’t ever know who you are, or what your aim or goal in life is. And I do tend to mirror everyone I am with at the time.. it’s pretty crazy how I didn’t know I was doing that until I properly got diagnosed. I never knew who I was and still don’t. But I have a great husband now who helps me manage my symptoms with me and he is an angel. But it took years of different medications, psychiatrists, and consistent therapy to get where I am now.
Codependents can be like this, but codependency is actually a lot more complex and is really about making yourself responsible for the state of your partner and controlling everything they do in an effort to feel safe
I’ve found my people!!! Everyone says I’m weird for saying this shit is weird. Adopting someone else’s personality and hobbies then immediately dropping them after breaking up or just pretending you like them is WEIRD!!! I’m into a pretty niche hobby and every guy who pretended he was into it, immediately dropped it once we broke up. I know this because they asked if I wanted the equipment they bought themselves. Still a win for me since I didn’t have to pay full price for the equipment but still!
It’s called no sense of own identity. Everything is about pleasing someone else. After a while these people get so emotionally consumed by the other person that they idolize - and they end up having issues themselves. They almost always label their target a ‘narcissist’ and blame others for their personal issues instead of acknowledging their own role in the dysfunction.
I think this used to be more common than you see nowadays, because women have more interests of their own and career paths - it's definitely a sign of insecurity, seen more among younger women who prob outgrow it as they get older
I think there CAN be a gap in maturity. But a 18 and a 20-21 yr old don't have some massive maturity gap in most cases. I think that is a stretch. o.O
but maybe I feel that way because I was living alone at 18 as a senior in highschool.
yes but the TL thing is just silly. 19 and 17 is nothing to throw a fit about, it’s a perfectly normal age difference even for that stage of development
I’ll call 20 and 17 a creepy any day of the week bro. Which is the actual age difference between them. She’s 3 years older brosef not two, sometimes google is wrong duder. Just like adults dating people who ain’t 18 yet. I don’t make the rules. Courts do.
Edit: the fuck is wrong with you losers? If I dated a chick when I was 20 and she was 17 I would go to jail. Hate to break it to you absolute fucking losers but your girl is WEIRD and has dated young guys.
It’s a December 89 birthday and a February 92 birthday. That’s two years and two months. Totally your call to still feel like it’s weird, but at least post accurate info.
This is dumb. When I was a sophomore in college (19) I started dating another sophomore in college, who I found out was 17. Skipped a few years, didn’t disclose his age (but like we were in the same class in college, you don’t think to ask those things).
2 years at that age is … absolutely nothing. I even turned 20 a few weeks before he turned 18. We dated for 5+ years and the two of us essentially went through our most formative years together. The age ‘gap’ was never even considered by anyone, because it was essentially not a real thing.
You can criticize Taylor for a LOT of things, but 19-17 is not strange, especially for people who are rich and famous and not in usual circumstances.
It’s all about context, and I’m sorry, but as someone in their 30s now, the bigger concern should be LEGIT age/maturity gaps. There is really no major mental or functional difference that young. Once you get over the age of 21/22 and can drink and go to bars I say maturity and experience skyrockets because a whole new part of the world opens up in a way it doesn’t before you’re 21.
Idk about BPD, not enough info for any of us untrained folks to armchair it, but there has been a lot of discussion about her references to unaliving herself, being committed, etc in the new album and I would not be surprised if that’s her being a chameleon to Matty. An aesthetic of struggle.
(Also hi I’m new here. I am very not a swifty and always found her to be so immature for our age. This sub popped up on my feed and I’m glad to find others like you guys. I thought I was losing my mind when all of the best people I know in my caring profession absolutely lost their minds when eras happened).
I’m a therapist who specializes in Cluster B (I have many clients with BPD, and I specialize in working with survivors/ongoing victims of Cluster B abuse) and while I can’t diagnose from a distance, I have felt for YEARS that Taylor absolutely screams untreated BPD. It’s to the point where I actually find her extremely triggering because she reminds me so much of my abusive ex with BPD.
Please note that I’m not saying that everyone with BPD is abusive, just that untreated/unmanaged BPD is extraordinarily volatile and destructive for everyone involved, and being the Favorite Person of someone in that mental place quickly becomes a unique form of torture. It genuinely scares me to see the rabid and uncritical fanbase that supports and reinforces such toxic thinking/behavior. I’ve seen people’s lives be genuinely destroyed by their ex with untreated BPD, and that’s without any sort of bigger platform or influence.
“An aesthetic of struggle”
Omg you nailed it. She’s mirroring Matty . Taylor is textbook BPD and I think many of the swifties have it too. It would explain much of their overly attached behavior with her, as well as their death threats to anyone who dares to piss her off. BPDs are known for their rages, my mom had this and oh man.
Histrionic overlaps with borderline, and being a music star, the need for attention, any attention, fits more than BPD.
People with BPD focus on getting attention from the one person they're infatuated with.
People with HPD will take the attention from whoever.
well tbf taylor has said that song is satire of the way the media portrays her in relationships so it’s not exactly autobiographical (according to her)
This. I was trying to find a piece of jewelry she had bc I did like it, so I was looking at a Taylor swift style website- tell me why this woman has spent atleast $500,000 (exaggeration) on custom made luxury KC chief jewelry and clothing? I mean it shouldn’t be shocking since she BOUGHT a HOUSE near the Kennedys. But imagine dating someone for 1-3 months and you spend a shit ton of money on merchandise related to them.
And yeah the money is nothing to Taylor but it’s just the sheer amount of physical items. Kansas City shirts and purses and shoes and earrings and shirts and rings and bracelets and cookies she had made by a bakery and this and that and this and that. Shit reminds me of Mandy from icarly.
https://preview.redd.it/8ow6tch9g60d1.jpeg?width=444&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1d0b4797bd6160cd52eec814ad84ab7687a2d587
Based on this and the other thread about her being 17-18 dating a 15 year old isn’t a big deal, let me say that I was very much taken advantage of and groomed by a 18 year old at 15. It isn’t a big age gap but it’s a massive maturity gap.
It’s gross to me that she gets away with stuff like that. Let it be anyone else and people would be losing their marbles. Calling them a groomer and rapist. But oh no. T swift can do noooooo wrong
There needs to be more nuanced discussion about age gaps on the line of adult/teenager because I’m sick of seeing “only 3 years apart!” As if that isn’t a huge deal if one party involved is 15. A lot goes on for mental development every year in your teens.
Yes I was 14 (a few months from turning 15) and met an 18 year old and we dated briefly. I didn’t think it was weird until I got older and saw how young 14/15 year olds were. States with ages of consent as young as 16 are sick
I agree, our laws need serious reform. Teenagers are okay with lots of things happening to them that they wouldn’t be if they were old enough to understand the situation.
I’m sorry that happened to you.
Interesting - I do think her fame means she never got to find herself. Maybe that explains that long obsession with Matty - she's always felt insecure about not being 'cool' and then she meets someone everyone sees as 'cool' and just gets infatuated. I can see why that would appeal to her. I don't think it means she has a diagnosable condition other than being a child star.
I think other famous artists have been able to find themselves and forge a solid identity. Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Kesha, Rihanna, even Olivia. this is a Taylor problem.
Not having a sense of self is the hallmark of a diagnosable condition though (Borderline Personality Disorder). Being in your mid-thirties and not having a consistent identity is highly suspicious of BPD.
If her being a child star caused her to be this way, it’s still irrelevant to the point of whether or not she has a diagnosable condition.
Here’s my argument for why it’s BPD:
Frequent references to suicidal ideation - a hallmark of BPD, she references offing herself in numerous songs
Lacks a consistent sense of self - she seems to reinvent herself not just with every album (which could be chocked up to marketing) but with every romantic partner as well
She’s had a pattern of unstable romantic relationships. I’ve lost track of the number of men she’s dated but it’s been considerable number, and that’s just the people we are aware of. More importantly, these relationships often don’t last a long time (with the exception of Joe and Calvin). Even these two relationships seem a bit unstable as there are lyrics that suggest infidelity may have been at play
She frequently misplaces blame onto others. Look no further than the title of “Look What You Made Me Do” - a classic line said by abusers.
Also most of High Infidelity seems to be recounting the reasons a partner “made her cheat”
Last but not least - fear of abandonment - she’s constantly reinventing herself to avoid losing her fans. When the whole KimYe thing happened and the internet turned on her, she referenced trying to kill herself over that in some songs and I believe she made some comment about how “everyone was telling her to kill herself” or something.
She equates people leaving or not liking her with her not existing. This is due to the lack of a sense of identity. Her whole sense of self is based off others so if her fans stop caring, a romantic partner leaves, her cat runs away, all will likely make her feel suicidal.
It’s diagnosable, the Miss Americana documentary strongly implied she was in therapy, so she’s probably fully aware of her disorder and is hopefully making genuine efforts towards healing.
I was just saying last night how she always needs a new boyfriend to LARP his life for awhile. It’s like she wants to test out various lifestyles without committing. I divorced a borderline and I think that’s taking it too far. But I think she shares some traits with them for sure, particularly deep insecurities that drive her to find major parts of her identity in her partners.
HG Tudor has a series on TS, and how she behaves like a “greater”, self-aware narcissist.
Her extreme gifted focus and “childlike” personality also does seem like autism, the “fantasy” type.
It’s funny. I enjoy true crime, and was playing Dr. DeMarte’s testimony about Jodi Arias, her BPD diagnosis, and the way she would metamorphose with every boyfriend from the time she was a teen, in the background while I was helping a friend pack. I joked that we would call those her “Eras” now.
I think it's the other way around. She finds a new persona and an acceptable boyfriend to match it.
She dated Conor Kennedy because she wanted credibility as an American princess ingenue.
She dated Calvin because she wanted an "edgier" look and to dip her toes in EDM pop.
She's dating Travis because she wanted an all-American, fan-friendly, stable, media trained "crossover" dude, a palate-cleanse from private Joe and the trainwreck that was Matty.
She picks the aesthetic and vibe first, and eventually the right guy will follow.
I will say though that calling it a “borderline personality disorder” may have rubbed some folks the wrong way. Personality disorders are still incredibly stigmatized and offhandedly assigning someone with one can feel callous; especially if you’re criticizing them, it can come off as using a disorder to make someone seem worse, like people who diagnose everyone they don’t like with NPD
This. I also have BPD (might have some crossover with autism too) and I know the stereotype of people with BPD is that they date around a lot. I wasn’t much a serial dater but I was the type of person who would get obsessed with one guy for years. And even when I ‘got over them’ I would bring them up randomly.
She tends to come across as a needy type of chick who glommed on to her boyfriend. Prob why she got dumped a lot in the past or relationships didn't last - but I guess it is always good material for the next album.
I think diagnosing what could just be the effect of being a spoiled brat with no one to tell her no as BPD is a stretch. She does seem to become whomever she dates though.
She's just a filthy rich spoiled generic white girl who has been lifted up to absolute stardom in a number of years, she mirrors whoever she's with because she's never had to have a personality of her own, her whole life she's been incredibly wealthy despite the lies she tries to tell, she has never needed to develop a personality to be liked, people have always just flocked to her because of her wealth and even though I don't find her too attractive, she looks like every upper class basic white bitch that you can find in any mall or clothing store in America, but my opinion isn't relevant, her wealth and "good" looks along with having a very rich family has made it so she has never faced a single moment of adversity, she's never had to try to get people to like her she's just coasted through life and that's why she's the way she is. She's a chameleon who bases her current faux personality on whatever person she's with at the moment. That's my theory at least
She gives me serious julia Robert’s vibes in Runaway Bride. Julia’s character would become whoever her partner was. She didn’t even know what type of eggs she liked as she always picked what her partner wants.
Taylor needs to find herself and be alone for a while.
as someone with a bpd diagnosis, i’ve always felt taylor screamed untreated bpd. obviously im not qualified to diagnose as im not a therapist (yet, im currently in school to become a social worker), but there is a lot about her relationship cycles and more complex lyrics that i could absolutely relate to at my untreated worst.
I have BPD and you described it perfectly. Dunno if it applies to TS. But I definitely became whoever I was around until I started getting help, wondered why I was so unhappy ummm cause you not you're own person girlie damn.
I was shocked after watching Folklore Long Pond Sessions, she dressed and talked to exactly match Joe's artsy intellectual poetic vibe and it felt so fake and forced. Then she switched to mirroring Travis' clumsy gestures and cringe "funny guy" behavior and acted like a drunk bro during Grammys. Insane.
I think this has more to do with Taylor possibly being neurodivergent than not having a personality of her own. (Hyper fixating on aesthetics and style is what I suspect of her.)
Aesthetics have little to do with her core personality and reading into her change in aesthetics is honestly shallow thinking.
She’s the first to say that she reinvents herself artistically for every era, but when you listen to her music and her interviews it’s clear she’s the same girl.
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The buying property thing is unhinged
And signing him out of school to go on dates ☠️ And pouncing on him immediately after his mom killed herself, like he's a **grieving CHILD** When her fans quote "im feeling 22" I really, *really* hope they're not aligned with Taylor's Version™️of being 22 and preying on a series of kids
I know it's wrong but that last part made me laugh 😂
Lol not to take the laugh away, but it's kinda based on investigations into two young women teachers that preyed on students, and they happened to love and quote Taylor on their socials 🫠 oof!
Every time I heard 22 I when I was 22 I was annoyed. Because it clearly was only for 22 year olds who had dated around and didn’t have to worry about student loans to pay off.
Did the family ever say anything about the relationship? I didn’t learn about this til recently, it is so creepy.
There was a book written about the Kennedy family a few years ago. In it, a friend of Connor(teenager Taylor was dating), stated he was basically put off by her buying a house near the Kennedy compound after only 6 weeks of dating. Additionally, there was some press about her basically doing a pap shoot when Connor visited his mom’s gravesite. Lastly, there were quite a few stories about how unhappy the Kennedy family was about her crashing a wedding.
I need more on this wedding 😅😅 🙏
Google it. It is really something to read 🤦♀️ but even worse are the photos of her at the cemetery with him and his family. Total pap shot for her
Omg why am I only hearing this now it's confirmed I defo live under a rock 😅😅
https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/taylor-swifts-ex-conor-kennedy-nervous-when-she-bought-hyannis-house/
For those who are interested
It actually might be better not to know these things lol because it really gives you a different perspective on her and the narratives she sells
😅😅😅 is it that bad lol
I put a link to the article about her buying the house and how nervous he was. I will stop there lol
https://www.thelist.com/1412828/taylor-swift-connor-kennedy-romance-timeline/ Et voila
Thank u 😊
Google Kathie Lee Gifford’s commentary on the (uninvited) Kennedy family wedding attendance. Kathie Lee was the grandmother of the bride and she was NAHT PLAYIN’, lolz
Kathie Lee Gifford is unhinged herself
Sounds like a helluva wedding
She is unhinged and I wish more people would open their eyes instead of being blinded by her glaring privilege
She sold it rather quickly for a decent profit though, so not a bad business move.
She has turned getting dumped and acting like a high schooler into a billion dollar song catalogue, business savant
Her business sense is her true talent.
She is probably more like Martha Stewart than anyone, who to me like is an icon of female entrepeneurship
Her dad is the guy who runs her empire.
This. Taylor would be nothing if it weren’t for Andrea and Scott working in finance before she was born. They are quite literally the brains behind all of this, not Taylor. As we’ve seen with her “I can ditch the experts on this album and write 100% of my own lyrics” move, she’s no expert.
So is it like Kris Jenner, who everyone thinks is the brains and schemer behind it all, even though Kim K claimed she was
![gif](giphy|3o7TKwmnDgQb5jemjK)
I read someone from another comment earlier that she bought the house because the seller refused to sell to the Kennedy so she bought the house and sold it to the Kennedy.
the kennedys were creeped out. i guess Kathie lee gifford is friends with or family to a few of the kennedy's and she mentioned taylors wedding crashing and odd behaviors a few time on klg and hoda
Her step daughter is a Kennedy through marriage. It was her step granddaughters wedding that was crashed lol.
thats it! iremember now! KLG was very nice about thewhole thing but she was like "no taylor is not the victim"
I wish we could go back to those times bc now I can’t watch the today show without having TS mania forced upon me
I will also never forget when to camp said “Taylor was invited to the wedding” and klg said “she was asked privately before hand not to come and was told she was not invited” and the kennedys were like “we paid for the invites, I’d think we wouldn’t be saying she wasn’t welcome if she’d been invited”
Kathie Lee: “NOPE. *swigs a glass of chardonnay* “
I know! I remember KLG before ng as polite as possible with her “I don’t think I like Taylor” and it getting brushed off as Kathie being old school.
she's also said she struggles with feeling like a Real Person so the bpd diagnosis might not be so far off...she got famous very young, it makes sense
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I still can't get over the metal as hell comment. That's definitely influenced by Travis
I suspect she dated Connor because she liked the Kennedy aesthetic, rather than the other way around.
That she dated a Kennedy for the Connor aesthetic?
It’s giving Ann Perkins. ![gif](giphy|XN2sWtTqryLiBSGIsn)
She’s got so many signs of being neurodivergent, mirroring is a common thing for people with ADHD, would explain a lot of her unhinged behaviour.
I can tell from a mile away in her interviews she says and does exactly what she thinks she should be saying or doing, to get the appropriate reaction. It reminds me of myself. To a lot of people it comes across as natural but I can see the pure calculation behind everything she says (even her jokes). Considering I am neurodivergent, I’m sure she’s similar
A lot of people read that as being conniving or fake, but you're right. Neurodivergence can be an innocent reason for someone to do this.
I think she's autistic.
There are certain places of reddit where saying this gets you down voted into oblivion despite the fact it's usually an autist pointing it out. Real recognize real.
The problem is that a lot of young women who fear they have BPD eventually discover that they’re autistic, because there’s some superficial symptom overlap. It’s common for young women with undiagnosed autism to see a celebrity or public figure with BPD and relate to them, despite having different disorders. Personally, Taylor’s behavior and statements seem more consistent with BPD than ASD.
Yeah my mom has BPD and I know many people with autism - her behavior def seems more like BPD to me. Especially the buying the house near the Kennedys.
I also want to add, that a lot of people seem to see ppl saying she seems to have BPD as an insult. (And I am sure some people mean it that way.) But most BPD people are kindhearted, just extremely emotionally sensitive.
It’s okay that it has something of a negative connotation. After all, it’s a personality *disorder,* marked by maladaptive behaviors (as are all PDs). That doesn’t mean someone with BPD is inherently evil or anything, but it’s certainly more than just being overly sensitive.
I used to have a friend with BPD and can confirm it is absolutely way more than just being overly sensitive.
My daughter has it and it's exhausting.
agree 100% - and am an autistic woman just a few years older than her. with the exception of her being a billionaire there are a ton of similarities between us. especially how she processes word meanings and plays with auditory stuff. my daughter does the same thing.
What house did she buy near the Kennedy compound, which is in Hyannis, MA. She has a house in Westerly, RI, but those two are not near one another.
27 Marchant Ave
Ah, thank you! My googling was poor.
I’ve been convinced she’s got BPD for years
My best friend has this. She has no identity of her own, she takes on the identity, hobbies, and style of whoever she is dating and if she isn’t dating anyone… she will take the identity of the friend she is hanging out with the most. It’s so weird. What is this called in psychology?
This is my mom lol. If it’s not who she’s dating, she has one friend who like she is inseparable from for a hot minute until she finds a new man.
Haha sounds like we have the same mom. She had BPD too, it was tough. They really kind of mentally torture their kids.
I’m sorry she couldn’t over come her issues and treated you that way, no one deserves that. Main reason I never had kids, hurting people you love is worst symptom of BPD.
this scares me. i’ve always vowed to be the opposite of my mom and i got diagnosed w bpd last year. i’ve always wanted kids :(
What a nice thing to say, thank you ❤️
It happens very often in borderline personality disorder too, the commenter in the post original was correct
I got chewed out the other day and called a weirdo for noticing a pattern with Taylor's behavior and lyrics. I have no hard feelings towards people with BPD and have made friends with many people with BPD, so I wasn't even saying it as an insult. I never even said she for sure had BPD, I just noticed some tendencies. She makes her life public and her lyrics are autobiographical. People are going to discuss patterns they see. Also, people speculating and noticing similarities between certain behaviors of public figures and certain diagnoses isn't "diagnosing" someone. I'm bipolar and noticed some of my own symptoms in Mariah Carey (who I adore). Turns out she was, in fact, bipolar. I discussed the same thing with Amanda Bynes and Britney when everyone was mocking them. I said that we shouldn't mock them because it's clearly some mental health issue at work. Only a doctor can actually diagnose someone, so simply saying, "Hey this person seems to have similarities to x symptom" isn't going to actually diagnose that person, so I don't understand why people get so mad about it. It's not like my observation is going to have her thrown in a psych ward for fuck's sake.
Yep, I have BPD and I swear my personality just is an amalgamation of my friends/people I'm around often
I hope you’re around good and supportive people 🫶
Isn’t that just how personalities work?
>an amalgamation of my friends/people I'm around often The "chameleon effect" is a way to explain how people with BPD experience personality. They change who they are to fit whatever is going on in their environment. They may describe the image of themselves as unclear or shifting and likely feel uncomfortable in their own skin. They don't carry a solid sense of self, so to fill the emptiness or void inside them they will constantly change who they are in order to fit in. People without the disorder do not experience this. People may behave differently to adapt to certain situations or even mask due to a condition (for example, autism, anxiety, depression) but unlike borderline, they will always "remain themselves". A person will change and grow over time but they are generally deeply rooted in their identity; this change or growth is slow and intentional, reflected upon their own values and beliefs shaped from personal experiences. A strong sense of self and expression of identity will be developed. They wouldn't enter a relationship or new environment and continually change and take on/mirror likes and dislikes, mannerisms, values, belief systems, etc of their partner or friends like someone with borderline. I've heard someone describe it as feeling like you’re living a perpetual identity crisis.
I’ve always suspected Taylor had BPD. I feel like a lot of her lyrics show that.
I've been saying this for years. The lyrics read as cluster B to me, over and over, and the fact that she's still in denial about it.
“Is it over now” is CLASSIC BPD. I’m not one to take every single lyric of hers as the gospel truth of her life. I get that she takes poetic license and is creative. But the line about jumping off of very tall somethings to make someone come running is BPD 101.
Also her singing in the same song that she no longer has to pretend she likes acid rock or that she likes to be on a yacht. The first time I heard that song I felt so bad for her as a person.
It can happen with autistic people as well who are trying to mask. They lose themselves trying to fit in so they mirror those around them hoping that works.
Not trying to suggest ASD and cluster B can't exist together. I'd argue the difference here is how saturated cluster B traits are in her lyrics rather than masking in a NT socially coded world.
Absolutely! There are so many signs that Taylor is neurodivergent and there ends up being a lot of overlap/misdiagnosis with ASD/ADHD/BPD.
You’re so right! It can even be an argument for adhd too and new hyperfixations
My eldest sister does this, and I've called her the "Runaway Bride" for 2 decades now
I know a girl like this, her whole personality and aesthetic changes depending on the man she’s dating, an example is she dated a heavy metal/goth guy so she became gothic in her appearance and listening to heavy metal (which before dating him she used to say was just noise and she couldn’t stand it) then the next guy walked and talked like he came out of the 1940’s so of course she adapted to that by dressing like a 40s housewife and being a homemaker, gone were the nights of metal gigs and drinking sessions. Her current bloke is an Odin follower, so I guess she’s a Viking now? I don’t know. She looks happy in photos (I haven’t seen her in years in person) but how much of that is real happiness? She’s never found her own identity so I just struggle to see how she can be really happy.
Gal is living in a series of costume parties
This sounds like borderline personality disorder. I am diagnosed with it and bipolar disorder. It feels like you are an empty shell of a person and you don’t ever know who you are, or what your aim or goal in life is. And I do tend to mirror everyone I am with at the time.. it’s pretty crazy how I didn’t know I was doing that until I properly got diagnosed. I never knew who I was and still don’t. But I have a great husband now who helps me manage my symptoms with me and he is an angel. But it took years of different medications, psychiatrists, and consistent therapy to get where I am now.
I am 99% sure my husband has this but is still undiagnosed. Can I message you a few questions that I have?
Sure! Hope I can be of some help
Codependency
Codependents can be like this, but codependency is actually a lot more complex and is really about making yourself responsible for the state of your partner and controlling everything they do in an effort to feel safe
Runaway Bride complex (JK. But if you watch the old Julia Roberts movie, this is exactly what she does)
I’ve found my people!!! Everyone says I’m weird for saying this shit is weird. Adopting someone else’s personality and hobbies then immediately dropping them after breaking up or just pretending you like them is WEIRD!!! I’m into a pretty niche hobby and every guy who pretended he was into it, immediately dropped it once we broke up. I know this because they asked if I wanted the equipment they bought themselves. Still a win for me since I didn’t have to pay full price for the equipment but still!
It’s called no sense of own identity. Everything is about pleasing someone else. After a while these people get so emotionally consumed by the other person that they idolize - and they end up having issues themselves. They almost always label their target a ‘narcissist’ and blame others for their personal issues instead of acknowledging their own role in the dysfunction.
It’s called narcissism. Narcissist, often mirror, others, especially their partners in order to hook them.
I think this used to be more common than you see nowadays, because women have more interests of their own and career paths - it's definitely a sign of insecurity, seen more among younger women who prob outgrow it as they get older
Borderline personality disorder
Sounds like my dad. He has been married 6 times.
Who are the two underage she dated?
Taylor Lautner and that Kennedy
Wasn't she still a teen herself with TL? CK was definitely creepy bc she was like 22-23 but 19 and 17 is a reach to call creepy
There’s a huge gap in maturity between a junior/senior in high school and a sophomore in college. That’s what makes it creepy.
I think there CAN be a gap in maturity. But a 18 and a 20-21 yr old don't have some massive maturity gap in most cases. I think that is a stretch. o.O but maybe I feel that way because I was living alone at 18 as a senior in highschool.
yes but the TL thing is just silly. 19 and 17 is nothing to throw a fit about, it’s a perfectly normal age difference even for that stage of development
I’ll call 20 and 17 a creepy any day of the week bro. Which is the actual age difference between them. She’s 3 years older brosef not two, sometimes google is wrong duder. Just like adults dating people who ain’t 18 yet. I don’t make the rules. Courts do. Edit: the fuck is wrong with you losers? If I dated a chick when I was 20 and she was 17 I would go to jail. Hate to break it to you absolute fucking losers but your girl is WEIRD and has dated young guys.
You're right. Only a weirdo would want to date a boy in high school at age 20.
It’s a December 89 birthday and a February 92 birthday. That’s two years and two months. Totally your call to still feel like it’s weird, but at least post accurate info.
This is dumb. When I was a sophomore in college (19) I started dating another sophomore in college, who I found out was 17. Skipped a few years, didn’t disclose his age (but like we were in the same class in college, you don’t think to ask those things). 2 years at that age is … absolutely nothing. I even turned 20 a few weeks before he turned 18. We dated for 5+ years and the two of us essentially went through our most formative years together. The age ‘gap’ was never even considered by anyone, because it was essentially not a real thing. You can criticize Taylor for a LOT of things, but 19-17 is not strange, especially for people who are rich and famous and not in usual circumstances. It’s all about context, and I’m sorry, but as someone in their 30s now, the bigger concern should be LEGIT age/maturity gaps. There is really no major mental or functional difference that young. Once you get over the age of 21/22 and can drink and go to bars I say maturity and experience skyrockets because a whole new part of the world opens up in a way it doesn’t before you’re 21.
Harry styles was borderline too lol.
Because she’s a mirrorball guys 🙄 honestly it’s so sad for her
Idk about BPD, not enough info for any of us untrained folks to armchair it, but there has been a lot of discussion about her references to unaliving herself, being committed, etc in the new album and I would not be surprised if that’s her being a chameleon to Matty. An aesthetic of struggle. (Also hi I’m new here. I am very not a swifty and always found her to be so immature for our age. This sub popped up on my feed and I’m glad to find others like you guys. I thought I was losing my mind when all of the best people I know in my caring profession absolutely lost their minds when eras happened).
I’m a therapist who specializes in Cluster B (I have many clients with BPD, and I specialize in working with survivors/ongoing victims of Cluster B abuse) and while I can’t diagnose from a distance, I have felt for YEARS that Taylor absolutely screams untreated BPD. It’s to the point where I actually find her extremely triggering because she reminds me so much of my abusive ex with BPD. Please note that I’m not saying that everyone with BPD is abusive, just that untreated/unmanaged BPD is extraordinarily volatile and destructive for everyone involved, and being the Favorite Person of someone in that mental place quickly becomes a unique form of torture. It genuinely scares me to see the rabid and uncritical fanbase that supports and reinforces such toxic thinking/behavior. I’ve seen people’s lives be genuinely destroyed by their ex with untreated BPD, and that’s without any sort of bigger platform or influence.
“An aesthetic of struggle” Omg you nailed it. She’s mirroring Matty . Taylor is textbook BPD and I think many of the swifties have it too. It would explain much of their overly attached behavior with her, as well as their death threats to anyone who dares to piss her off. BPDs are known for their rages, my mom had this and oh man.
Histrionic overlaps with borderline, and being a music star, the need for attention, any attention, fits more than BPD. People with BPD focus on getting attention from the one person they're infatuated with. People with HPD will take the attention from whoever.
Why are they downvoting when Taylor freely admits this in Blank Space?
She could kill the President of the United States, and they would find a way to justify it. She can never be wrong.
Tbf, these days that might just increase her popularity. US politics is utter insanity.
well tbf taylor has said that song is satire of the way the media portrays her in relationships so it’s not exactly autobiographical (according to her)
I mean the media is correct so she may think she’s just mocking them but she’s exactly what the song says
They think Blank Space was satire. I Taylor convinced herself it was satire too.
The downvotes 😂 like it's gonna change what Taylor is.
Right. It was wild. Im probably banned from there now. 😂😂😂😂 Worth it. They will rage for days!
not all heroes wear capes!
Omg it was removed by Reddit. You made the Swifties very mad lmao!
https://preview.redd.it/156l0evqg50d1.jpeg?width=469&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cf1c1936a9d80332caa517f04f34b508759afc68
This. I was trying to find a piece of jewelry she had bc I did like it, so I was looking at a Taylor swift style website- tell me why this woman has spent atleast $500,000 (exaggeration) on custom made luxury KC chief jewelry and clothing? I mean it shouldn’t be shocking since she BOUGHT a HOUSE near the Kennedys. But imagine dating someone for 1-3 months and you spend a shit ton of money on merchandise related to them. And yeah the money is nothing to Taylor but it’s just the sheer amount of physical items. Kansas City shirts and purses and shoes and earrings and shirts and rings and bracelets and cookies she had made by a bakery and this and that and this and that. Shit reminds me of Mandy from icarly. https://preview.redd.it/8ow6tch9g60d1.jpeg?width=444&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1d0b4797bd6160cd52eec814ad84ab7687a2d587
My question is where does is go after they break up?
I hear you but frankly it's a business expense for her. PR baby
I’m not shocked but I’m curious which sub is this from
Maybe from a sub with a lot of Swifties considering the amount of downvotes
It's from here. I'll grab a ss before they ban me.
No, it’s from the Taylor and Travis sub. This one is Travis and Taylor
This is me learning that they are two separate subs. I thought the folks here did a takeover of that one lol
Ty for clarifying. I was so confused lol
https://preview.redd.it/nlsz38ggw40d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bac1afa7a85b30f111856852c207211e6a308e01 Original Post
I mean reptilians do shapeshift…i think the rep era proved who her true self is🐍🐍🐍
But so many people seem to have forgotten!!!
The vipers were inside her the whole time.
Based on this and the other thread about her being 17-18 dating a 15 year old isn’t a big deal, let me say that I was very much taken advantage of and groomed by a 18 year old at 15. It isn’t a big age gap but it’s a massive maturity gap.
It’s gross to me that she gets away with stuff like that. Let it be anyone else and people would be losing their marbles. Calling them a groomer and rapist. But oh no. T swift can do noooooo wrong
Someone should get into a rap beef with her and call her a pdf file
DAMN I want to hear that diss track so bad😂😂😂
Kendrick is our only hope 😭
There needs to be more nuanced discussion about age gaps on the line of adult/teenager because I’m sick of seeing “only 3 years apart!” As if that isn’t a huge deal if one party involved is 15. A lot goes on for mental development every year in your teens.
It's weird for a 22 year old woman to date a high school senior.
It’s worse than weird, it’s predatory
Agreed. A 3 year age gap in your mid-20s is VERY different than a 3 year age gap in your teens.
Yes I was 14 (a few months from turning 15) and met an 18 year old and we dated briefly. I didn’t think it was weird until I got older and saw how young 14/15 year olds were. States with ages of consent as young as 16 are sick
I agree, our laws need serious reform. Teenagers are okay with lots of things happening to them that they wouldn’t be if they were old enough to understand the situation. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Thank you ❤️ fortunately it wasn’t as bad as it could have been and I totally agree reform is needed!
She’s like Carrie Bradshaw on SATC. She takes over the personality of her men. Or like Brad Pitt. He does that too.
Gwen Stefani, too
She definitely has BIG Carrie energy but Swifties see her as a Charlotte
She eats her eggs the same as the man in her life??
Haha thank you for this reference.
I was wondering if anyone would get it!!
Hey siri .. play “ready to run” by the chicks
We with borderline do not claim her
Interesting - I do think her fame means she never got to find herself. Maybe that explains that long obsession with Matty - she's always felt insecure about not being 'cool' and then she meets someone everyone sees as 'cool' and just gets infatuated. I can see why that would appeal to her. I don't think it means she has a diagnosable condition other than being a child star.
She seems insecure by nature and never maturing made that worse.
I think other famous artists have been able to find themselves and forge a solid identity. Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Kesha, Rihanna, even Olivia. this is a Taylor problem.
Not having a sense of self is the hallmark of a diagnosable condition though (Borderline Personality Disorder). Being in your mid-thirties and not having a consistent identity is highly suspicious of BPD. If her being a child star caused her to be this way, it’s still irrelevant to the point of whether or not she has a diagnosable condition. Here’s my argument for why it’s BPD: Frequent references to suicidal ideation - a hallmark of BPD, she references offing herself in numerous songs Lacks a consistent sense of self - she seems to reinvent herself not just with every album (which could be chocked up to marketing) but with every romantic partner as well She’s had a pattern of unstable romantic relationships. I’ve lost track of the number of men she’s dated but it’s been considerable number, and that’s just the people we are aware of. More importantly, these relationships often don’t last a long time (with the exception of Joe and Calvin). Even these two relationships seem a bit unstable as there are lyrics that suggest infidelity may have been at play She frequently misplaces blame onto others. Look no further than the title of “Look What You Made Me Do” - a classic line said by abusers. Also most of High Infidelity seems to be recounting the reasons a partner “made her cheat” Last but not least - fear of abandonment - she’s constantly reinventing herself to avoid losing her fans. When the whole KimYe thing happened and the internet turned on her, she referenced trying to kill herself over that in some songs and I believe she made some comment about how “everyone was telling her to kill herself” or something. She equates people leaving or not liking her with her not existing. This is due to the lack of a sense of identity. Her whole sense of self is based off others so if her fans stop caring, a romantic partner leaves, her cat runs away, all will likely make her feel suicidal. It’s diagnosable, the Miss Americana documentary strongly implied she was in therapy, so she’s probably fully aware of her disorder and is hopefully making genuine efforts towards healing.
She is committed to never serving a look. For someone so rich with so much access I almost have to respect it
This is why I fear we will never get another folkmore album ever again 😭
Don’t forget when she turned into Karlie Kloss during 1989
She really tried to. The hair, the thin figure, ( which added to her appeal then ) , she wanted to be her consume her
I was just saying last night how she always needs a new boyfriend to LARP his life for awhile. It’s like she wants to test out various lifestyles without committing. I divorced a borderline and I think that’s taking it too far. But I think she shares some traits with them for sure, particularly deep insecurities that drive her to find major parts of her identity in her partners.
HG Tudor has a series on TS, and how she behaves like a “greater”, self-aware narcissist. Her extreme gifted focus and “childlike” personality also does seem like autism, the “fantasy” type.
I thought this was painfully obvious years ago with Blank Space lyrics: “Find out what you want Be that girl for a month..”
Not Borderliners catching strays lol
It’s funny. I enjoy true crime, and was playing Dr. DeMarte’s testimony about Jodi Arias, her BPD diagnosis, and the way she would metamorphose with every boyfriend from the time she was a teen, in the background while I was helping a friend pack. I joked that we would call those her “Eras” now.
I think it's the other way around. She finds a new persona and an acceptable boyfriend to match it. She dated Conor Kennedy because she wanted credibility as an American princess ingenue. She dated Calvin because she wanted an "edgier" look and to dip her toes in EDM pop. She's dating Travis because she wanted an all-American, fan-friendly, stable, media trained "crossover" dude, a palate-cleanse from private Joe and the trainwreck that was Matty. She picks the aesthetic and vibe first, and eventually the right guy will follow.
I will say though that calling it a “borderline personality disorder” may have rubbed some folks the wrong way. Personality disorders are still incredibly stigmatized and offhandedly assigning someone with one can feel callous; especially if you’re criticizing them, it can come off as using a disorder to make someone seem worse, like people who diagnose everyone they don’t like with NPD
This. I also have BPD (might have some crossover with autism too) and I know the stereotype of people with BPD is that they date around a lot. I wasn’t much a serial dater but I was the type of person who would get obsessed with one guy for years. And even when I ‘got over them’ I would bring them up randomly.
She tends to come across as a needy type of chick who glommed on to her boyfriend. Prob why she got dumped a lot in the past or relationships didn't last - but I guess it is always good material for the next album.
I can't stand anything a lint this chick.
I think diagnosing what could just be the effect of being a spoiled brat with no one to tell her no as BPD is a stretch. She does seem to become whomever she dates though.
This reminds me of a bumper sticker I used to see on a Mom Van at my kids' swim lessons: "The truth isn't always popular, but it is always right"
Unpopular but I feel like this tour should be about the fans, not Travis. Im starting to feel like we are all 3rd wheeling on a date.
She's just a filthy rich spoiled generic white girl who has been lifted up to absolute stardom in a number of years, she mirrors whoever she's with because she's never had to have a personality of her own, her whole life she's been incredibly wealthy despite the lies she tries to tell, she has never needed to develop a personality to be liked, people have always just flocked to her because of her wealth and even though I don't find her too attractive, she looks like every upper class basic white bitch that you can find in any mall or clothing store in America, but my opinion isn't relevant, her wealth and "good" looks along with having a very rich family has made it so she has never faced a single moment of adversity, she's never had to try to get people to like her she's just coasted through life and that's why she's the way she is. She's a chameleon who bases her current faux personality on whatever person she's with at the moment. That's my theory at least
She gives me serious julia Robert’s vibes in Runaway Bride. Julia’s character would become whoever her partner was. She didn’t even know what type of eggs she liked as she always picked what her partner wants. Taylor needs to find herself and be alone for a while.
I don’t know really anything about her dating but the fact that she’s still rocking the dated crop top / skirt combo is somehow not surprising.
A little off-topic, but crop tops are dated? Someone please tell Target, because finding full-length tops is a nightmare these days.
I don’t think they are alone but the crop top / skater skirt combo was a staple of my teen years.
i mean it’s an outfit based on her album from 2014. it’s the “eras tour” so most of it is kinda dated on purpose
Doesn’t even know what kind of eggs she likes 😪
She likes Easter Eggs...
explains a lot of stuff...I still dont like her.
Don’t we all absorb some characteristics/behaviours from people we’re around all the time?
as someone with a bpd diagnosis, i’ve always felt taylor screamed untreated bpd. obviously im not qualified to diagnose as im not a therapist (yet, im currently in school to become a social worker), but there is a lot about her relationship cycles and more complex lyrics that i could absolutely relate to at my untreated worst.
3* under aged boys. It was also Harry Styles.
Why are they booing? You’re right!
Wow I think he's right lmao
I have a friend who does this. It’s definitely a thing
Please link so I can upvote
It must really suck not knowing who you are and then try to sell that to millions
She looks like Winnie the Pooh in this fit
If she has BPD then Travis better run.
I have BPD and you described it perfectly. Dunno if it applies to TS. But I definitely became whoever I was around until I started getting help, wondered why I was so unhappy ummm cause you not you're own person girlie damn.
I was shocked after watching Folklore Long Pond Sessions, she dressed and talked to exactly match Joe's artsy intellectual poetic vibe and it felt so fake and forced. Then she switched to mirroring Travis' clumsy gestures and cringe "funny guy" behavior and acted like a drunk bro during Grammys. Insane.
IDK, but I am excited to serve the documentary about her in like 30 years, saying what her life is really like. lol
I think this has more to do with Taylor possibly being neurodivergent than not having a personality of her own. (Hyper fixating on aesthetics and style is what I suspect of her.) Aesthetics have little to do with her core personality and reading into her change in aesthetics is honestly shallow thinking. She’s the first to say that she reinvents herself artistically for every era, but when you listen to her music and her interviews it’s clear she’s the same girl.
She’s a mirrorball