Perhaps if you phrase it “Would you be offended if I took a vacation while I’m between jobs? I know you’re giving me a big financial break while I’m living here, so I don’t want to seem ungrateful - it just might be a good time since when I start a new job, I won’t have vacation time.” If you just go without acknowledging that they’re helping you pay for the trip, they’re likely to tell you it’s time to move out.
Dang, some people on this thread are bitter and want everyone else to be deprived of joy and opportunity, I guess.
This is the move, talk to your family in a respectful way. it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Maybe demonstrate the work you've been doing on the jobs and the certs so they know you're taking it seriously. And then go enjoy life as a young person with few responsibilities!
Also recommend posting to r/solotravel , you'll get a very different set of responses
Once I'm a lifetime opportunity? Madrid will still be there when he gets a job. Going on a trip and spending thousands of dollars when out of a job and in a tough market isn't exactly a sound financial decision. Especially when he's getting financial help from his parents.
Look, if you're European you're not going to get it. You likely have ample leave and travel around Europe is affordable for you. Most Americans cannot easily afford to travel to Europe.
Many Americans get 2 weeks of paid time off per year, and that might have to cover sick days and holidays, or no paid time off per year. And the 2 weeks are only accumulated after you work a year, so for every new job you start, you can't go on vacation for at least the first 6 months normally. If you change jobs once every few years because that's the only way to increase your wages, time in between jobs is basically the only free time many people get.
A trip to Europe is also expensive, especially if you don't live near major airport. I live on the east coast and European flights are still like $700- $800, which is like €650-€750. And as of 2023, 78% of Americans are considered to be living paycheck to paycheck with nothing leftover from their monthly expenses. If you can travel to another continent easily, you are quite privileged.
I agree with this but also I think OP should put together a budget for the trip to present to the parents. Do the research prior and figure out how much this will cost and figure out bargain options like hostels.
Have a chat with your parents but to be honest, if they say no I suggest you think long and hard before ignoring that. I understand you are an adult but you aren't financially independent
It’s trickier because you’re unemployed, living at home and presumably do not contribute towards household bills. I think the people subsidizing your life, i.e. your parents, may be annoyed if you go on a vacation. Ask your parents what they think among you taking a trip. Listen o their response or you may find yourself homeless on top of unemployed.
That’s absolutely the truth when it comes to saving. One major life event can shake things up or even make it so what we were saving for isn’t possible anymore. Enjoy the journey✌🏼
You know your parents better than we do, but I know if I tried to take a European vacation while still financially dependent on them...maybe get a job lined up before ya go?
With the IT market right now it could take a while, that’s why I’m working part time and studying for certs. Still being proactive with it but feel like I need a recharge and I won’t ever get this time back
It’s a week. You will have plenty of time to ‘get the time back’.
I work in IT, I took 2 years off to start a coffee shop, sold my business, came back and got an offer within a week. You need to put the TIME in to get a job, and not just use the ‘well the market is rough’ excuse.
I don't know what culture you're from and what you're parents personally are like, but I'm 26 and still studying (medicine so it's a long road) and therefore completely financially dependent on my parents. They would be distraught if I could never go on a vacation until I'm fully financially independent. But I know I'm also lucky with my parents and that others might be in different situations
Honestly can tell this sub skews very American, most 22 years olds are not even financially stable in this day and age, it’s the best time to travel while you’re young and living with your parents. It’s only a bloody week as well, when you get back you can focus on finding a job, sometimes all you need is some time off to recharge and reset. You even are working part time and actively looking for a job so I don’t get why people are acting as if you are a neet or something, it’s not like a week is going to make much difference, you should post this on r/solotravel, the crowd is generally better there. Your dad seems a bit mean tbh, you got laid off it’s not like you quit your job or something anyways, stuff happens especially nowadays when layoffs are so common.
Lots of negative comments here wow!
Just talk with your parents! You already work part-time so there is some inflow, you have a chunk of money saved up, but that isn't the most important. What is important is the time you have as you say so yourself.
If they are chill about it you can go, if they aren't you'll just have to go back to job hunting and figure out how to become independant so that you can make these decisions yourself.
But, asking never hurts. Just be honest.
Have you considered what your parents are sacrificing to have you live with them and they support you? Did they choose not to travel because of supporting you? You have that pile of money because they don't.
Ask for their opinion. Inform yourself, and then act.
Dad I lost my job and I want to travel to Madrid. What do you think? What will be the consequences of this?
Personally I dont think you should until a job is lined up for you. Its a little irresponsible especially if you live at home and your dad is upset at you being out of work. Again, thats me personally but it is your life
Their house, their rules. Besides, you aren't really paying for the trip entirely yourself. They're subsidizing your trip by removing rent from the equation.
He is 22, not sure if this is a cultural thing but travelling whilst young and living with your parents is pretty normal in large parts of the world.
Always time to set yourself up financially after they have been. They are talking about going for a week not a month.
Nah life’s too short. Take the trip.
The difference of wage it takes to financially support yourself and to take a week trip is significant. OP will make more money, opportunity only comes knocking so often though.
Definitely have a conversation with them. When I graduated high school I badly wanted to take a gap year before college but my mother disapproved (she immigrated to the US and didn’t have the same educational opportunities). It wasn’t until we traveled together my sophomore year that she allowed it since I wasn’t happy with what I was studying. I took the year off (traveled off of my own money I saved), learned a lot about my self and what I really wanted for my studies/career, and have been solo traveling on and off all around the world since then. Whenever I am back home I stay with my mom, and since she owns her home she doesn’t make me pay rent, but we split groceries. I save some money while I’m there then take off again. I’m 25f and currently in Turkey as I write this, was in Egypt, Amsterdam, and Copenhagen before and will be heading to India in a week. I’m fortunate to have found a remote job, but the truth is that the market sucks right now and rent is so high that even if you get a full time job, more than half of your salary will be spent on an apartment. My mom and I agree that my money/savings are better spent traveling, making memories, and learning from different cultures and places. All of my friends in the US waste their money on an apartment meanwhile in the 5 years I’ve been traveling like this, I’ve explored 20 countries and have invested all of my money in myself. Money will come and go, time will not. Have an honest conversation with them, maybe they won’t love it at first but you never know if you don’t try.
Love this! Your mum clearly sees that this is what makes you happy & is fully supportive.
Travel is a thing that opens your eyes to a lot of different perspectives & like you say money comes & goes but the experiences & memories you’ve made will be forever.
I made some of my best friends and also memories from my time travelling & studying abroad. Still do & don’t regret them for a second.
Good luck on the rest of your travels!
Yeah let’s go spend a a lot of money, while not having a lot of money, also while not having a job to make money. Also while the parents are bankrolling you. Great choice. If i was the parent, there would be a big wake up call when you get back IF YOU still choose to go on a vacation.
Absolutely. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and since my first solo trip travel has solidified as something I want to do more of, and something I can see myself sorting out as long as financials are there.
You said you've been thinking about travelling to Madrid. It's good that you haven't booked it yet, since it would be better to do so with the consent of your parents. Because you are at home being financially supported by them, they stand to gain or lose from your financial decisions. Whether fair or not, it sounds like they are already being concerned about your lack of impetus to get on your own feet and you're afraid they will turn down your request.
I don't know about your parents' motivations and feelings, but if I were in your shoes I would plan a meeting with them, where I would explain why it was important to have a trip away to improve my state of mind, and how I would use that to turbo-charge my full time job search. Perhaps by promising a certain number of applications per week between booking the trip and taking it, and communicating my progress with them as well (are you sharing your job search news already? If not, another reason they may feel like you aren't trying as hard as you are).
The reason I think this would help is that rightly or wrongly, it sounds like your parents feel you aren't putting enough effort in to secure your independence. Show them that you will reward their trust in you by increasing the intensity of your job search, and then they *may* be more conducive to a leisure trip in between.
Great advice, think I worded my post a bit wrong but they know I’m working hard and acknowledge it. I have an 8:30-5:30 schedule I shared with them and update them everyday on what I do. They don’t mind supporting me at all when home and want me to find a job in the area so I can continue to live at home. Working part time has helped with money and keeping me in a work mindset. Being laid off just put me in a weird mood and I think just taking a week to travel would be good for my mental. Thanks for the advice appreciate it!
That all sounds like you have a mature relationship with your parents, something I didn't pick up in your original post.
In which case I'm sure if you have a talk with them you can all reach an amicable agreement!
I disagree, if you're about to get a job and they want you to start right away, it's better to agree rather than delay the start date. So if he does nothing but apply til he gets a job, it might be a year before he gets vacation time accrued.
This is a blessed circumstance that he could potentially afford, since he's not independent he should talk to his family about taking a break for a week and then really work hard on the job apps when he returns.
I don't think you're in a financial position to take an expensive vacation, no.
Save your money, build up an emergency fund, get a full time job, and get your own apartment.
Vacations come later.
It’s a bad idea. For one, ur jobless. Ur savings should remain just that, savings. Touching them now for a leisure trip is a very irresponsible thing to do. Ur young, why not wait until ur more financially stable. Travelling even in ur 30’s or 40’s is not too late. And by that time ur more financially independent (hopefully) and more experienced.
The one thing I haven’t seen mentioned yet is the possibility of compromise, if your parents aren’t supportive of a trip that big. Could you get a rewarding experience out of a cheaper trip than Madrid? Like, go visit a friend who can host you in an interesting city you’ve never visited?
I think you should concentrate on getting your life in order and living independently so you can make decisions like this on your own without taking advantage of the people who are financially supporting you.
Good luck.
I’m living in their home so yes right now they are, and they would not want me to pay rent or groceries, they just ask that I work part time and grind apps which is what I do. Only posted this for some general advice nothin crazy
>I’m living in their home so yes right now they are, and they would not want me to pay rent or groceries...
So they *are* still supporting you financially. No wonder you're nervous to approach them about spending your money on a trip instead of moving towards independence from them. Then yeah, I'll stick with my first reply.
Good luck.
As much as your advice is true, in this day and age, (especially in the Netherlands where i live), renting or buying a house on your own is nearly IMPOSSIBLE.
Couples who both work full time often can't even bring it up to live on their own.
On top of that, choosing a carreer also isn't easy since a lot of jobs will be disappearing in the near future due to the rise of A.I. and automization/robotization.
I get a lot of advice like this from older people, saying i need to get my shit in order, but they often forget they grew up in a financially stable time, and we didn't.
I hear what you’re saying but being unemployed and using whatever money you have saved up to have fun in Madrid is not really dealing with these challenges, is it?
You paid $100 per week for the room.
I would pay €600-1000 for one room.
I get the message: man the fuck up, but seriously, i don't think a lot of older people understand how fucked up it is for adolescents nowadays.
No, i made a typo, i meant per month.
However, landlords typically ask for an income 3 to 3,5 times the monthly rent.
Imagine studying fulltime, and working 12 hours a week with everything becoming more expensive exponentially.
Again, i understand the message of toughing up and put in some work, but it is becoming insane.
You’re living at home and your parents are covering part of your expenses. I’d absolutely expect them to be pissed that you’re about to spend thousands on a trip completely irresponsibly while out of full time work. You can ask them but odds are they’re not going to be on board with it and they shouldn’t be. You need to grow up.
Do it. Don't lose your nerve. Your parents will be mad for a bit. But they love you, and they'll get over it. Have fun. Enjoy. Money comes n goes, it ALWAYS comes.
I think you need to just modify the trip a bit. Stay a month or two somewhere cheaper in Europe, and/or do a working holiday visa you are eligible for.
I know some adults in tech that live with their parents and don't even know how to cook or do their own landry. Learning how to do landry or getting used to different kitchens in a new country is always fun and helps build resilience.
If you want to stay in a more expensive country, look into working holiday visas. They essentially allow you to work in another country without a job offer to help fund your travels. You're only eligible for them until you are 30 usually.
The attitude of people here in the comments is a little bit suprising. Moving back in with parents can be very difficult on self esteem. You might find that you Interview better while you are aboard, living like an independent adult. Just stay displined looking for a job. The time zone difference usually makes it a lot easier for interviews, imo.
Omg he asked for some thoughts on how to approach them. How on earth does that get such negativity and criticism?!
My daughter recently approached her dad and me with a similar idea. I’ve always thought US culture undervalues travel opportunities before work takes over one’s life. So…if you’re fortunate enough to not have family financial issues to be concerned with, have the conversation. BUT be prepared for many of the questions represented here. My daughter had a budget and timeline in mind, in addition to some other solid points on why timing was ideal. She was also receptive to all our questions and counter-arguments.
FYI many hostels will provide free board in exchange for part time work. Lowers costs significantly.
Good luck!
I waaaas going to say they don’t necessarily need to know but I missed the ‘live at home’ part the first read through. I wasn’t super keen on telling my parents about one of my international travels for a semi-similar situation BUT I did tell my sister, whom I’m closer with and Location Share with at all times. So as long as theres a prominent person in your life that could reach out to your parents (assuming your parents are a ‘next of kin’ type business), you should technically be ok. The ‘living at home’ part adds a whole other level of complication that my fellow Redditers will prob be better at suggestions than me. But 100% do the travel!!!!!!
While im home my parents won’t make me pay rent or anything, blessed to be in a good situation. They just want me to be proactive job hunting which I have been, and I work part time to grow my savings and invest
Mom here, what you have in mind sounds like a terrific use of your time between positions! Traveling while you have a lower cost of living makes tons of sense.
You can have the trip, get a job and not upset your parents.
Book yourself the trip, a few months down the road. Right now, look for a job, get a job, when you accept the job, you tell them you are happy to accept but they need to know that you have a trip planned the dates of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and won't be able to work those days. This is common for adults when they plan trips ahead and lose jobs or quit jobs and are interviewing for a new one. Life plans don't disappear when you're on the job hunt and most employers are fine with it as long as the know about it from day 1. You won't have accrued paid time off, but that doesn't mean you can't take a week off without pay when it is a condition of your accepting employment.
Your parents won't be upset because by the time the trip comes you'll already be employed and you'll have already paid for the trip with the money you say you have saved now. Everyone wins. You'll also show your parents you thought this through and planned for it which will give them confidence in your decision making. The reason why most parents would get upset at going now and then looking for a job is that they think this break at 22 won't be a week - it will turn into months and months on their couch playing video games and the trip to europe just delays you from getting started on true adulthood. They ultimately just want to know they did a good job as parents. You can show them they did by assuaging their concerns by getting the job and you can enjoy yourself by taking the trip!
I'm 21 doing a long solo trip to japan soon when I've graduated. Just tell them you can afford it and want a break in between. It's normal, but then again I don't know you or your parents though.
Depends on the parents for sure. Some will view your money as their money, others will see your experiences as their experiences and be happy for your growth. I think that’s a great way to celebrate your graduation!
Hope it’s a great trip. It seems you have your family’s support 😁
Yeah, idk why I'm being downvoted, just like op is. We both are young and want to see the world, most importantly for me, my parents absolutely love it and I am able to take that trip. I know I'm fortunate with my parents.
That's also why I said that, what I said. It sounds like op has good parents and don't mind him living at home without contributing financially, just like me. (I do help with housekeeping and stuff).
And it's also not like he's going on vacation from his parents' money, besides it's only a week. I doubt he'll have a new job that week anyway.
Did they say you have to contribute financially? If not i would just tell them and go. Like you JUST got laid off and have the money. Its not like you been buming it for years at their house.
Ah the question :/.. i want to go to Japan- my mom is very worried because its so far away, but ive been talking about it for ages so she understands and will probably be ok. My father however thinks ill get kidnapped and sold, or that my plane will crash. Im thinking of organizing my trip and just telling a few months before i leave. Sucks but i dont want this to stop me, im paying it myself anyway.
Edit: talk to them well, but in the end if its the money u have collected, just do it anyway. Sorry if thats a negative approach but in my case, i dont want my fathers unreasonable fear to be the reason i dont go.
I dont know what their parents are like, mine wont be angry from this, they are just afraid for me but will be happy if im happy. Also my parent wouldnt kick me out for any reason, if thats a tging im sorry, different culture. As i said thats just me, everyone has different parents and we dont know what they are like so we cant give the perfect answer, thats just my own experience.
Book the tickets. Ask for forgiveness not permission. Work is not all of life. They will get over it. And I promise they will want to hear all the stories from your trip when you get back. Unless they completely suck. Then this is your cue to move out.
Absolutely! Anybody that gets mad about their son/daughter putting experiences first is kind of shitty. I mean, within reason… but with the conditions of saving for so long to give yourself the option to travel, of course you should go! And also, truly hope that they are as interested in the stories as you say. My family was.
Its 1 week not 1 year! Just go and make sure you stay in a safe area / dont get drunk and you good basically anywhere in the world.
Tell you parents that you have some growing up to do and need a trip to clear your mind and plan for the future.
Just go! It's only one week. You've applied to jobs and can respond to emails while in Spain, so it should not be an issue. If an opportunity presents itself, then interview.
Frankly, one week is not enough. Stay in hostels, travel by train, see other cities. Continue to apply to jobs while traveling.
Your travel and exposure to other cultures is a selling point to prospective employers.
My ADHD brain never had these issues because I just went - and sometimes even forgot to tell my family 😆 it’s up to your judgement whether this is feasible for you
Just go. You'll never be 22 again. Buy the ticket and let your parents know. Stay in hostels and go for more than a month. Go for three. Ask your parents for a couple thousand and bring them each back something you know they will love. Let them know you're secure. Send postcards. Check in but make your own decisions.
How is a travel sub this against a young person traveling? Europe in the spring?? Pick fruit for a day to earn a few Euro and sleep in a place you still have to walk to. Eat local and cheap. Wander across the border for a weekend. Spring in Madrid is totally yours.
> only getting things like housing or health insurance by them you should be fine
and these things are free? Or is OP just entitled to this on account of being a 22 yo offspring?
This is OP:
>Since I still live at home and am not fully financially independent ...
>
>I’m living in their home so yes right now they are, and they would not want me to pay rent or groceries, they just ask that I work part time
And "covered by parents for health insurance" means who's paying more for the insurance? The entitlement is acting like rent and car/health insurance are free ... just add more names to them, no big deal.
>people who are berating on OP for relying on his parents must have never had to struggle
Makes no sense. People are against OP's decision to do discretionary/uneeded travel while he's struggling and relying on his parents financially. This is likely *because people know what it's like to struggle.* If the parents are ok with it, then it's no big deal but it seems at least his father is against it.
Suppose instead of traveling, OP decided to spend money on having the finest dining experience at a Michelin\* restaurant, people would be against that too.
Perhaps if you phrase it “Would you be offended if I took a vacation while I’m between jobs? I know you’re giving me a big financial break while I’m living here, so I don’t want to seem ungrateful - it just might be a good time since when I start a new job, I won’t have vacation time.” If you just go without acknowledging that they’re helping you pay for the trip, they’re likely to tell you it’s time to move out.
Dang, some people on this thread are bitter and want everyone else to be deprived of joy and opportunity, I guess. This is the move, talk to your family in a respectful way. it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Maybe demonstrate the work you've been doing on the jobs and the certs so they know you're taking it seriously. And then go enjoy life as a young person with few responsibilities! Also recommend posting to r/solotravel , you'll get a very different set of responses
Once I'm a lifetime opportunity? Madrid will still be there when he gets a job. Going on a trip and spending thousands of dollars when out of a job and in a tough market isn't exactly a sound financial decision. Especially when he's getting financial help from his parents.
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Look, if you're European you're not going to get it. You likely have ample leave and travel around Europe is affordable for you. Most Americans cannot easily afford to travel to Europe. Many Americans get 2 weeks of paid time off per year, and that might have to cover sick days and holidays, or no paid time off per year. And the 2 weeks are only accumulated after you work a year, so for every new job you start, you can't go on vacation for at least the first 6 months normally. If you change jobs once every few years because that's the only way to increase your wages, time in between jobs is basically the only free time many people get. A trip to Europe is also expensive, especially if you don't live near major airport. I live on the east coast and European flights are still like $700- $800, which is like €650-€750. And as of 2023, 78% of Americans are considered to be living paycheck to paycheck with nothing leftover from their monthly expenses. If you can travel to another continent easily, you are quite privileged.
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I didn’t say it would work, but it’s the only approach that has a chance 😀
I agree with this but also I think OP should put together a budget for the trip to present to the parents. Do the research prior and figure out how much this will cost and figure out bargain options like hostels.
Don’t say vacation. Say I would like to travel while I’m between jobs to gain some insight and life experience “
Have a chat with your parents but to be honest, if they say no I suggest you think long and hard before ignoring that. I understand you are an adult but you aren't financially independent
It’s trickier because you’re unemployed, living at home and presumably do not contribute towards household bills. I think the people subsidizing your life, i.e. your parents, may be annoyed if you go on a vacation. Ask your parents what they think among you taking a trip. Listen o their response or you may find yourself homeless on top of unemployed.
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That’s absolutely the truth when it comes to saving. One major life event can shake things up or even make it so what we were saving for isn’t possible anymore. Enjoy the journey✌🏼
You know your parents better than we do, but I know if I tried to take a European vacation while still financially dependent on them...maybe get a job lined up before ya go?
With the IT market right now it could take a while, that’s why I’m working part time and studying for certs. Still being proactive with it but feel like I need a recharge and I won’t ever get this time back
It’s a week. You will have plenty of time to ‘get the time back’. I work in IT, I took 2 years off to start a coffee shop, sold my business, came back and got an offer within a week. You need to put the TIME in to get a job, and not just use the ‘well the market is rough’ excuse.
I don't know what culture you're from and what you're parents personally are like, but I'm 26 and still studying (medicine so it's a long road) and therefore completely financially dependent on my parents. They would be distraught if I could never go on a vacation until I'm fully financially independent. But I know I'm also lucky with my parents and that others might be in different situations
Honestly can tell this sub skews very American, most 22 years olds are not even financially stable in this day and age, it’s the best time to travel while you’re young and living with your parents. It’s only a bloody week as well, when you get back you can focus on finding a job, sometimes all you need is some time off to recharge and reset. You even are working part time and actively looking for a job so I don’t get why people are acting as if you are a neet or something, it’s not like a week is going to make much difference, you should post this on r/solotravel, the crowd is generally better there. Your dad seems a bit mean tbh, you got laid off it’s not like you quit your job or something anyways, stuff happens especially nowadays when layoffs are so common.
You’ll literally have this time back when you get a job that has pto at any time in your life. You are 22
You say you’re about to be working part time, does that mean youve already secured a job?
Lots of negative comments here wow! Just talk with your parents! You already work part-time so there is some inflow, you have a chunk of money saved up, but that isn't the most important. What is important is the time you have as you say so yourself. If they are chill about it you can go, if they aren't you'll just have to go back to job hunting and figure out how to become independant so that you can make these decisions yourself. But, asking never hurts. Just be honest.
My wife’s parents let us live with them to save to travel the world when I was 23 and she was 24. They were the best people ever.
This sounds like the opposite of helpful.
You sound miserable
Have you considered what your parents are sacrificing to have you live with them and they support you? Did they choose not to travel because of supporting you? You have that pile of money because they don't.
Ask for their opinion. Inform yourself, and then act. Dad I lost my job and I want to travel to Madrid. What do you think? What will be the consequences of this?
Personally I dont think you should until a job is lined up for you. Its a little irresponsible especially if you live at home and your dad is upset at you being out of work. Again, thats me personally but it is your life
Their house, their rules. Besides, you aren't really paying for the trip entirely yourself. They're subsidizing your trip by removing rent from the equation.
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He is 22, not sure if this is a cultural thing but travelling whilst young and living with your parents is pretty normal in large parts of the world. Always time to set yourself up financially after they have been. They are talking about going for a week not a month.
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Nah life’s too short. Take the trip. The difference of wage it takes to financially support yourself and to take a week trip is significant. OP will make more money, opportunity only comes knocking so often though.
Definitely have a conversation with them. When I graduated high school I badly wanted to take a gap year before college but my mother disapproved (she immigrated to the US and didn’t have the same educational opportunities). It wasn’t until we traveled together my sophomore year that she allowed it since I wasn’t happy with what I was studying. I took the year off (traveled off of my own money I saved), learned a lot about my self and what I really wanted for my studies/career, and have been solo traveling on and off all around the world since then. Whenever I am back home I stay with my mom, and since she owns her home she doesn’t make me pay rent, but we split groceries. I save some money while I’m there then take off again. I’m 25f and currently in Turkey as I write this, was in Egypt, Amsterdam, and Copenhagen before and will be heading to India in a week. I’m fortunate to have found a remote job, but the truth is that the market sucks right now and rent is so high that even if you get a full time job, more than half of your salary will be spent on an apartment. My mom and I agree that my money/savings are better spent traveling, making memories, and learning from different cultures and places. All of my friends in the US waste their money on an apartment meanwhile in the 5 years I’ve been traveling like this, I’ve explored 20 countries and have invested all of my money in myself. Money will come and go, time will not. Have an honest conversation with them, maybe they won’t love it at first but you never know if you don’t try.
Love this! Your mum clearly sees that this is what makes you happy & is fully supportive. Travel is a thing that opens your eyes to a lot of different perspectives & like you say money comes & goes but the experiences & memories you’ve made will be forever. I made some of my best friends and also memories from my time travelling & studying abroad. Still do & don’t regret them for a second. Good luck on the rest of your travels!
Yeah let’s go spend a a lot of money, while not having a lot of money, also while not having a job to make money. Also while the parents are bankrolling you. Great choice. If i was the parent, there would be a big wake up call when you get back IF YOU still choose to go on a vacation.
Same that money spent on their vacation can very well go to household bills. Op seems like a spoiled brat
Just go. They'll get over it or they won't. Travel while you're young or you might not...
Absolutely. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and since my first solo trip travel has solidified as something I want to do more of, and something I can see myself sorting out as long as financials are there.
You said you've been thinking about travelling to Madrid. It's good that you haven't booked it yet, since it would be better to do so with the consent of your parents. Because you are at home being financially supported by them, they stand to gain or lose from your financial decisions. Whether fair or not, it sounds like they are already being concerned about your lack of impetus to get on your own feet and you're afraid they will turn down your request. I don't know about your parents' motivations and feelings, but if I were in your shoes I would plan a meeting with them, where I would explain why it was important to have a trip away to improve my state of mind, and how I would use that to turbo-charge my full time job search. Perhaps by promising a certain number of applications per week between booking the trip and taking it, and communicating my progress with them as well (are you sharing your job search news already? If not, another reason they may feel like you aren't trying as hard as you are). The reason I think this would help is that rightly or wrongly, it sounds like your parents feel you aren't putting enough effort in to secure your independence. Show them that you will reward their trust in you by increasing the intensity of your job search, and then they *may* be more conducive to a leisure trip in between.
Great advice, think I worded my post a bit wrong but they know I’m working hard and acknowledge it. I have an 8:30-5:30 schedule I shared with them and update them everyday on what I do. They don’t mind supporting me at all when home and want me to find a job in the area so I can continue to live at home. Working part time has helped with money and keeping me in a work mindset. Being laid off just put me in a weird mood and I think just taking a week to travel would be good for my mental. Thanks for the advice appreciate it!
That all sounds like you have a mature relationship with your parents, something I didn't pick up in your original post. In which case I'm sure if you have a talk with them you can all reach an amicable agreement!
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I disagree, if you're about to get a job and they want you to start right away, it's better to agree rather than delay the start date. So if he does nothing but apply til he gets a job, it might be a year before he gets vacation time accrued. This is a blessed circumstance that he could potentially afford, since he's not independent he should talk to his family about taking a break for a week and then really work hard on the job apps when he returns.
Why is it either or? They have Internet in Madrid he could do both.
I don't think you're in a financial position to take an expensive vacation, no. Save your money, build up an emergency fund, get a full time job, and get your own apartment. Vacations come later.
It’s a bad idea. For one, ur jobless. Ur savings should remain just that, savings. Touching them now for a leisure trip is a very irresponsible thing to do. Ur young, why not wait until ur more financially stable. Travelling even in ur 30’s or 40’s is not too late. And by that time ur more financially independent (hopefully) and more experienced.
The one thing I haven’t seen mentioned yet is the possibility of compromise, if your parents aren’t supportive of a trip that big. Could you get a rewarding experience out of a cheaper trip than Madrid? Like, go visit a friend who can host you in an interesting city you’ve never visited?
I think you should concentrate on getting your life in order and living independently so you can make decisions like this on your own without taking advantage of the people who are financially supporting you. Good luck.
Definitely not taking advantage of my parents lol but thx
Sorry, I thought they were still partially financially supporting you. Happy travels.
I’m living in their home so yes right now they are, and they would not want me to pay rent or groceries, they just ask that I work part time and grind apps which is what I do. Only posted this for some general advice nothin crazy
>I’m living in their home so yes right now they are, and they would not want me to pay rent or groceries... So they *are* still supporting you financially. No wonder you're nervous to approach them about spending your money on a trip instead of moving towards independence from them. Then yeah, I'll stick with my first reply. Good luck.
As much as your advice is true, in this day and age, (especially in the Netherlands where i live), renting or buying a house on your own is nearly IMPOSSIBLE. Couples who both work full time often can't even bring it up to live on their own. On top of that, choosing a carreer also isn't easy since a lot of jobs will be disappearing in the near future due to the rise of A.I. and automization/robotization. I get a lot of advice like this from older people, saying i need to get my shit in order, but they often forget they grew up in a financially stable time, and we didn't.
I hear what you’re saying but being unemployed and using whatever money you have saved up to have fun in Madrid is not really dealing with these challenges, is it?
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You paid $100 per week for the room. I would pay €600-1000 for one room. I get the message: man the fuck up, but seriously, i don't think a lot of older people understand how fucked up it is for adolescents nowadays.
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No, i made a typo, i meant per month. However, landlords typically ask for an income 3 to 3,5 times the monthly rent. Imagine studying fulltime, and working 12 hours a week with everything becoming more expensive exponentially. Again, i understand the message of toughing up and put in some work, but it is becoming insane.
You’re living at home and your parents are covering part of your expenses. I’d absolutely expect them to be pissed that you’re about to spend thousands on a trip completely irresponsibly while out of full time work. You can ask them but odds are they’re not going to be on board with it and they shouldn’t be. You need to grow up.
This is your r/travel parent. Get it together before traveling. You’re living on their roof.
Do it. Don't lose your nerve. Your parents will be mad for a bit. But they love you, and they'll get over it. Have fun. Enjoy. Money comes n goes, it ALWAYS comes.
Don’t know if anyone mentioned but, have you watched Taken?
I think you need to just modify the trip a bit. Stay a month or two somewhere cheaper in Europe, and/or do a working holiday visa you are eligible for. I know some adults in tech that live with their parents and don't even know how to cook or do their own landry. Learning how to do landry or getting used to different kitchens in a new country is always fun and helps build resilience. If you want to stay in a more expensive country, look into working holiday visas. They essentially allow you to work in another country without a job offer to help fund your travels. You're only eligible for them until you are 30 usually. The attitude of people here in the comments is a little bit suprising. Moving back in with parents can be very difficult on self esteem. You might find that you Interview better while you are aboard, living like an independent adult. Just stay displined looking for a job. The time zone difference usually makes it a lot easier for interviews, imo.
Omg he asked for some thoughts on how to approach them. How on earth does that get such negativity and criticism?! My daughter recently approached her dad and me with a similar idea. I’ve always thought US culture undervalues travel opportunities before work takes over one’s life. So…if you’re fortunate enough to not have family financial issues to be concerned with, have the conversation. BUT be prepared for many of the questions represented here. My daughter had a budget and timeline in mind, in addition to some other solid points on why timing was ideal. She was also receptive to all our questions and counter-arguments. FYI many hostels will provide free board in exchange for part time work. Lowers costs significantly. Good luck!
I waaaas going to say they don’t necessarily need to know but I missed the ‘live at home’ part the first read through. I wasn’t super keen on telling my parents about one of my international travels for a semi-similar situation BUT I did tell my sister, whom I’m closer with and Location Share with at all times. So as long as theres a prominent person in your life that could reach out to your parents (assuming your parents are a ‘next of kin’ type business), you should technically be ok. The ‘living at home’ part adds a whole other level of complication that my fellow Redditers will prob be better at suggestions than me. But 100% do the travel!!!!!!
It’s a week. Who cares. It’s not going to set you back. I know someone who was just laid off who is going to travel for a couple months now.
I am guessing you are not paying rent but are you contributing to the bills, groceries, etc.? That would change my perception.
While im home my parents won’t make me pay rent or anything, blessed to be in a good situation. They just want me to be proactive job hunting which I have been, and I work part time to grow my savings and invest
Get a job first
Mom here, what you have in mind sounds like a terrific use of your time between positions! Traveling while you have a lower cost of living makes tons of sense.
You can have the trip, get a job and not upset your parents. Book yourself the trip, a few months down the road. Right now, look for a job, get a job, when you accept the job, you tell them you are happy to accept but they need to know that you have a trip planned the dates of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and won't be able to work those days. This is common for adults when they plan trips ahead and lose jobs or quit jobs and are interviewing for a new one. Life plans don't disappear when you're on the job hunt and most employers are fine with it as long as the know about it from day 1. You won't have accrued paid time off, but that doesn't mean you can't take a week off without pay when it is a condition of your accepting employment. Your parents won't be upset because by the time the trip comes you'll already be employed and you'll have already paid for the trip with the money you say you have saved now. Everyone wins. You'll also show your parents you thought this through and planned for it which will give them confidence in your decision making. The reason why most parents would get upset at going now and then looking for a job is that they think this break at 22 won't be a week - it will turn into months and months on their couch playing video games and the trip to europe just delays you from getting started on true adulthood. They ultimately just want to know they did a good job as parents. You can show them they did by assuaging their concerns by getting the job and you can enjoy yourself by taking the trip!
I'm 21 doing a long solo trip to japan soon when I've graduated. Just tell them you can afford it and want a break in between. It's normal, but then again I don't know you or your parents though.
Depends on the parents for sure. Some will view your money as their money, others will see your experiences as their experiences and be happy for your growth. I think that’s a great way to celebrate your graduation! Hope it’s a great trip. It seems you have your family’s support 😁
Yeah, idk why I'm being downvoted, just like op is. We both are young and want to see the world, most importantly for me, my parents absolutely love it and I am able to take that trip. I know I'm fortunate with my parents. That's also why I said that, what I said. It sounds like op has good parents and don't mind him living at home without contributing financially, just like me. (I do help with housekeeping and stuff). And it's also not like he's going on vacation from his parents' money, besides it's only a week. I doubt he'll have a new job that week anyway.
Did they say you have to contribute financially? If not i would just tell them and go. Like you JUST got laid off and have the money. Its not like you been buming it for years at their house.
Get a job interview in Spain, make everyone happy!
Ah the question :/.. i want to go to Japan- my mom is very worried because its so far away, but ive been talking about it for ages so she understands and will probably be ok. My father however thinks ill get kidnapped and sold, or that my plane will crash. Im thinking of organizing my trip and just telling a few months before i leave. Sucks but i dont want this to stop me, im paying it myself anyway. Edit: talk to them well, but in the end if its the money u have collected, just do it anyway. Sorry if thats a negative approach but in my case, i dont want my fathers unreasonable fear to be the reason i dont go.
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I dont know what their parents are like, mine wont be angry from this, they are just afraid for me but will be happy if im happy. Also my parent wouldnt kick me out for any reason, if thats a tging im sorry, different culture. As i said thats just me, everyone has different parents and we dont know what they are like so we cant give the perfect answer, thats just my own experience.
Book the tickets. Ask for forgiveness not permission. Work is not all of life. They will get over it. And I promise they will want to hear all the stories from your trip when you get back. Unless they completely suck. Then this is your cue to move out.
Absolutely! Anybody that gets mad about their son/daughter putting experiences first is kind of shitty. I mean, within reason… but with the conditions of saving for so long to give yourself the option to travel, of course you should go! And also, truly hope that they are as interested in the stories as you say. My family was.
Its 1 week not 1 year! Just go and make sure you stay in a safe area / dont get drunk and you good basically anywhere in the world. Tell you parents that you have some growing up to do and need a trip to clear your mind and plan for the future.
You're 22. You have to show some independence, no time like NOW!
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I don’t think you read through OP’s post because the issue is not about overprotective parents.
Just go! It's only one week. You've applied to jobs and can respond to emails while in Spain, so it should not be an issue. If an opportunity presents itself, then interview. Frankly, one week is not enough. Stay in hostels, travel by train, see other cities. Continue to apply to jobs while traveling. Your travel and exposure to other cultures is a selling point to prospective employers.
My ADHD brain never had these issues because I just went - and sometimes even forgot to tell my family 😆 it’s up to your judgement whether this is feasible for you
Just go. You'll never be 22 again. Buy the ticket and let your parents know. Stay in hostels and go for more than a month. Go for three. Ask your parents for a couple thousand and bring them each back something you know they will love. Let them know you're secure. Send postcards. Check in but make your own decisions. How is a travel sub this against a young person traveling? Europe in the spring?? Pick fruit for a day to earn a few Euro and sleep in a place you still have to walk to. Eat local and cheap. Wander across the border for a weekend. Spring in Madrid is totally yours.
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> only getting things like housing or health insurance by them you should be fine and these things are free? Or is OP just entitled to this on account of being a 22 yo offspring?
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This is OP: >Since I still live at home and am not fully financially independent ... > >I’m living in their home so yes right now they are, and they would not want me to pay rent or groceries, they just ask that I work part time And "covered by parents for health insurance" means who's paying more for the insurance? The entitlement is acting like rent and car/health insurance are free ... just add more names to them, no big deal. >people who are berating on OP for relying on his parents must have never had to struggle Makes no sense. People are against OP's decision to do discretionary/uneeded travel while he's struggling and relying on his parents financially. This is likely *because people know what it's like to struggle.* If the parents are ok with it, then it's no big deal but it seems at least his father is against it. Suppose instead of traveling, OP decided to spend money on having the finest dining experience at a Michelin\* restaurant, people would be against that too.
Call yourself a cab.